Good morning, and welcome to AdventureGild ®'s Blockchain Mine, sponsored by AdventureGild ®. As a new Adventurer, you may find the Blockchain Mine overwhelming, but don't worry! We are here to assist you in the onboarding process.
Cryptcurrency is this plane's newest and most valuable resource. In the earliest days of exploring the Blockchain Mine, we found huge lumps of cryptcurrency lying on the ground. We didn't know what they were worth at the time! Silly us.
But now, we know that cryptcurrency is a wonderful, magical, and immeasurably valuable substance. Let me give you an example. Your local lord taxes you in gold, labour, or goods, but cryptcurrency is none of those things, and therefore cannot be taxed! That's right; every bit of cryptcurrency you mine, you keep!
As we delve deeper into the Blockchain Mine, cryptcurrency has become more scarce. But don't worry! Studies* show that it is not possible to delve too greedily or too deep, so keep on mining! Remember that any cryptcurrency you mine today will be worth more tomorrow, as supplies are constantly decreasing. You don't want to be left behind. This is a regime of natural hyperdeflation.**
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| Piotr Dura |
Mining
Your mining rig (including pickaxes, lanterns, rope, and other gear) can be purchased at any AdventureGild ® location using gold
pieces. Only certified rigs are permitted in the Blockchain Mine. A basic rig might not let you mine cryptcurrency fast enough; invest (your gold) in high-quality enchanted gear.
Serge Pricing
The Blockchain Mines are cold and damp. An outfit of thick serge is mandatory, and can be purchased at any AdventureGild ® location using gold
pieces. Serge pricing fluctuates with demand, so try to purchase your outfit when demand is low, and resell it when demand is high. Remember, once you're in line you're locked in, and must purchase or sell at the market value when you reach the front of the line.
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| Alex Brock |
Proof of Stake
In order to enter the Blockchain Mine, you must present proof that you own a sturdy wooden stake. Vampires are common in the lower levels. Stakes can be purchased at any AdventureGild ® location using gold pieces. Only certified stakes are permitted in the Blockchain Mine.
Proof of Work
To ensure complete transparency, all activities of Adventures in the Blockchain Mine, and all purchases made with cryptcurrency, are recorded in a series of immutable ledgers. Since these ledgers are large and heavy, they are stored in a locked warehouse near the Blockchain Mine. You, or any other Adventurer, can view any record at any time.
Forks
Instability within freshly mined lumps of cryptcurrency can, in rare cases, trigger a Forking Event. Duplicates of Adventurers, cryptcurrency, items, and memories may occur. If you encounter a copy of yourself, the Blockchain Mine suggests you fight to the death to establish which version is correct. Collaborating with a Forked duplicate is strictly prohibited. Rugged individualism is the watchword of the profitable Adventurer.
Non Fungal Tokens
To validate your identity, and for fashion purposes, Adventurers are encouraged to purchase one or more Non Fungal Tokens from other Adventurers or from any of the stalls near the edge of the Blockchain Mine. Most Non Fungal Tokens are discs of wood, lacquered to prevent mildew, and attached to a handsome linen cord. Though they may superficially resemble each other, each NFT is unique, and can be used to identify the wearer. Thanks to variation in wood texture and lacquer colour, some NFTs are rare and extremely valuable.
Remember, in the Blockchain Mine, possession is ten tenths of the law. Do not lose your Non Fungal Tokens.
If you'd like to set up your own Non Fungal Token stall, please purchase an access permit from any AdventureGild ® location using gold pieces, and pay the Ghast Fee for each Token you create.
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| Igor Krstic |
Ghast Fees
Transfering cryptcurrency from one location or person to another angers the Ghasts, who must be propitiated before the lump can be transferred or moved. They are usually satisfied with a small portion of cryptcurrency, but the hunger of the Ghasts is unpredictable.
The DAO™
A Deified Axiomatic Organism, the DAO™ lurks in the Innovation Pit. Anyone who owns a Governance Token (which can be purchased at any AdventureGild ® location using gold pieces) can vote on proposals. The DAO™ senses the intent of your soul and translates it into soundforms.
The murmuring of the DAO™ is interpreted by AdventureGild ® Peacelocks. Don't worry; the AdventureGild ® promises to faithfully obey the will of the DAO™, which is really the will of all Adventurers.
Sacrifices to the DAO™ are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5:30pm.
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| Unknown |
Cryptcurrency Exchanges
You may have noticed that most items required to work in the Blockchain Mine can only be purchased with gold pieces, not cryptcurrency. Don't worry! You can exchange your cryptcurrency for gold pieces at the AdventureGild ® Exchange Hall.
Please note that all cryptcurrency is not equally valuable, and must be graded before exchange. An exchange fee will also be charged, in addition to the portion taken by the Ghasts. Exchange rates are subject to change at any time without warning.
Also, while cryptcurrency cannot be taxed, any gold taken from the Blockchain Mine can (and will) be taxed heavily. Why not leave your earnings in their natural form; lumps of cryptcurrency!
The Wyrms of Service
If you feel dissatisfied with conditions in the Blockchain Mine, please consult the Wyrms of Service. Remember, you're not a worker, you're an Adventurer! Workers have rights; Adventurers have opportunities!
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| Arthur Rackham |
Inspecters
If you experience a critical mortality event in the Blockchain Mine, you may be eligible to become an Inspecter, and record Adventurer activities in the Proof of Work ledgers. Inspecters wear the Blockchains they forged in life; how fashionable!
Smart Contracts
By reading this contract, and entering the Circle of Protection Against Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt that surrounds this location, you have automatically registered as an Adventurer! Congratulations! Please submit payment (in gold pieces) into the box below.
Thank you, and good night.
*Studies is the given name of an imp conjured AdventureGild ® Peacelocks and should not be interpreted as evidence of actual studies.
**As opposed to a regime of unnatural hyperinflation, such as Kiel Chenier's Blood in the Chocolate***
***If you know, you know. If you don't, you really don't want to know.
So you too have watched this folding ideas video :p
ReplyDeleteThis started as a throwaway pun on a different blogpost, turned into a draft, then sat here for a few months when I realized I didn't know enough to accurately satirize the movement (and didn't want to spend the time finding out).
DeleteDan just did all the hard work.
I had a draft about putting the law in the blockchain for a cyberpunk setting. I was exploring the gameability when I saw the video.
DeleteI need to be waaaay crazier about it.
I hope that johan nohr will try something with nfts in a cy_borg extension.
I'd suggest checking out this short story: https://www.patreon.com/posts/were-all-going-59993510
DeleteOr this one: https://infinitegossip.substack.com/p/catstrata?r=226o4
Or this thread: https://old.reddit.com/r/rpg/comments/mehbp6/setting_jam_cyberpunk_but_it_sucks/
For possible ideas.
Amazing. Satire as useful, gameable information. Well done, Mr. Skerples.
ReplyDeleteHmm...seems like a scam to me
ReplyDeleteHow dare you! If you want to invest your money in a scam with no proven returns, I have a Patreon.
DeleteThis was so inspiring, now I've gone a done a thing.
ReplyDeletehttp://madgamingmadness.blogspot.com/2022/01/fantastic-friday-blockchain-mine-ose.html
This seems like something right out of Courtney Campbell's Perdition.
ReplyDeleteHahah. Is this inspired partially by that new big video on NFT and Crypto that's being going around?
ReplyDeletePartially, yes. Started a draft about 4-5 months ago, realized I didn't have the lingo to properly satirize it. Then Dan put out a video with all the jargon (and the hard investigative work) and the rest of the post fell into place.
DeleteAlso, The Malum's post (above) adds extra useful content.
Dear Sirs,
ReplyDeleteI am interested in purchasing some Non Fungal Tokens, but I see no accepted currency listed as it is for other items, like serge or certified AdventureGild vampire stakes. Would I be correct in assuming that gold pieces are acceptable?
Yours,
Croaker
P.S. -- If one were to encounter a forked duplicate of oneself, would purchasing Non Fungal Tokens from it (w/ gold pieces, of course) and then battling to the death and taking it all back be considered Collaboration with a Forked duplicate, or merely an extreme example of rugged individualism? Asking for a friend.
That you must purchase Non Fungal Tokens from other Adventurers or from Token venders is intentional. These groups only take Cryptcurrency. Don't worry, though. There are plenty of other Adventurers willing to trade you Cryptcurrency, in exchange for gold.
Delete(In truth, the latter group just really, REALLY want to cash out. But don't tell anyone I said that. Shh...)