OSR: Veinscrawl Session 11 & 12

Last session, the party fought a whale and a vampire, lost the goblins, and went slightly mad.

The party consists of:
Cazael the spiderling fighter. Fears magic, prefers a good sword and a simple plan.
Bill the wormling Orthodox Wizard. Has antlers, telekinesis, permanent wizard vision, inability to sleep, magic not-dying amulet, etc. Generally considered a liability.
Swainson the Garden Wizard. Formerly a hawkling, currently a dryad.
Christen Bell the weasel-ling Bell Exorcist. Starting to think this whole underground thing was a bad idea.
Tuck the Flealing Summoner. Suspicious but loyal.

The map has grown so complex that the map-making player has split it into 2 files. Here's the original map (up to Session 8).
 And here's session 9, 10, 11, and 12.
Starting with "The Ambassagater"...

1. The party, recovering from their hallucinations, found themselves on the edge of a great underground chemical lake. They negotiated passage across on slate skiff-boats piloted by myconids.

2. At a fungal village / trading port, the PCs finally encountered something like a civilization. Protected by the myconids, traders from many underground states could meet in relative safety in the centre of the fungid valley. The village contained the semi-permanent embassy of a fungal ambassodile, a two-minded creature full of secrets and schemes. It also contained a Drow silk-merchant.

3. Bill negotiated with the mysterious elf to learn new spells. Tuck, offended by the Drow's aloof and insulting nature, hurled insults of his own. The Drow made most of Tuck's organs fall out. Tuck, annoyed by this, gathered up his still-functional innards and asked the Drow to "fix it". The Drow did. Tuck now loved the Drow. He literally couldn't think badly of them.

4. Meanwhile, Cazael and the rest of the party met with the fungal ambassodile. The strangely charming creature asked them, as independent operatives, to go and sort out a minor problem with a giant magical creature in a lake. If they could kill the creature, they'd earn vast rewards, including a map to the surface.

5. The party also recruited a young woman, Alice, and a mysterious goat, Tom.

6. Their route to the lake passed through the Slime Vortex, a funnel-shaped cave full of spinning slimes. Water flowing into the channel was filtered by the rotating mass of slimes. It was a miracle of nature and a massive obstacle to travel. It was also an excellent source of gold; all the inedible metals sunk to the bottom of the funnel.

7. The gold was far too tempting for Tom the Goat and Bill the Wormling. Together, they descended into the funnel, dodging slimes the whole way. Unfortunately for them, the pool at the bottom of the cave wasn't water at all, but another transparent slime. They were both badly bludgeoned and partially digested.

8. Klaus used his sorcerous powers to part the slimes, altering the funnel's geometry temporarily and allowing for the rescue of Bill, the goat, and a small amount of gold.

9. Tom the goat, who was "really weird", everyone agreed, was in a semi-permanent coma. Alice, his keeper and apprentice witch, decided to take matters into her own hands.

10. After several more adventures, the party finally found the gigantic underground lake at the heart of the fungid valley. They decided to lure the "magic beast" in the lake to shore using a magic battery - stolen from a dEr0 earthquake machine - as bait. 

11. The plan worked, and a horrible insect, with a shell made entirely of magic weapons, lurched from the lake to savage the group. The party's plan hadn't extended beyond luring the beast closer. They immediately panicked.

12. Christen Bell and Swainson were crushed by the beast's magic shell. Mangled beyond recognition, they were left to die on the rocky shore as Cazael and Bill tried to fight the creature. Alice turned into a strange rubbery bird and flew away, shouting "Fuck this, I'm out!". She stopped just long enough to drop the magic battery onto the back of the giant beast.

13. Cazael set the magic battery on fire and, briefly, drove the caddis-fly-thing into the lake. Bill, meanwhile, attempted a radical healing procedure for his two "mostly dead" friends. Sure, Swainson and Christen Bell were dead in the medical sense, but possibly not in the wizardly sense. He stabbed them both with his dagger of roiling polymorph.

14. Christen Bell turned into an octopus and stayed there. Unable to live out of the water, she sadly lurched into the lake.

15. Swainson, on the other hand, polymorphed into a ravenous shadow, then a cave giant. Still disoriented by lurching from splintery death into gigantic life, she spotted the caddis-fly monster charging towards shore. She struck the creature with a mighty blow, tore it apart, and scattered magical implements and gold all over the shore.

16. The dagger was, unfortunately, roiling polymorph. Swainson polymorphed from a giant to a panther, a rhino, a mummy, a brass dragon, a cockatrice, a giant (again!), a squid, a gorilla, and finally, after over an hour of screaming and flopping from form to form, stabilized as a lamassu. While not ideal, a lamassu was hardly the worst thing to be. At least Swainson could speak and move and even cast spells; her new cow-sphinx-lion form would do.

17. With her mind fading fast, octopus-Christen Bell decided to end her life by magic sword. She chopped herself into neat cubes and faded away.

18. Encumbered with thousands of gold pieces and dozens of magic swords, the surviving members of the party lurched away from the magically contaminated lake, leaving entire drifts of swords and gold behind.

Would their hasty actions result in underground warfare? What was the ambassodile's plan? Could they use Swainson's new lamassu powers to escape to the surface or was her mind too badly scrambled by her many transformations?

Find out next time.


OSR: Giant Impractical Table - Of the London Street Folk

This table is too large and too unwieldy to print, but it should work fine on the web.

Anyway, the text is taken from Henry Mayhew's London Labour and the London Poor (1861). It's suitable for livening up a street scene, rolling up a background or a retirement profession, or just reading in awe and bewilderment. If an entry says to "roll twice", roll on the most recent table unless otherwise prompted. I haven't edited the text beyond tabulating it. "Spotted boys", "Sapient Pigs" and other oddities are presented as found. I might do an annotated version one day explaining the stranger entries.

1d20 Of the London Street Folk
1-15 1d10 Street Sellers
1 1d6 The Street-sellers of Meats
1 ”Wet” fish
2 “Dry” fish
3 Shell-fish
4 Poultry
5 Game
6 Cheese
2 1d8 The Street-sellers of Vegetables
1 “Green” fruit
2 “Dry” fruit
3 Flowers
4 Trees and shrubs
5 Seeds and roots
6 Water-cresses
7 Chickweed and grun’sel
8 Turf
3 1d20 The Street-sellers of Eatables
1 Fried fish
2 Hot eels
3 Pickled whelks
4 Sheep’s trotters
5 Ham sandwiches
6 Peas’-soup
7 Hot green peas
8 Penny pies
9 Plum “duff”
10 Meat-puddings
11 Baked potatoes
12 Spice-cakes
13 Muffins and crumpets
14 Chelsea buns
15 Sweetmeats
16 Brandy-balls
17 Cough drops
18 Cat and dog’s meat
19 [roll again twice]
20 [roll again three times]
4 1d10 The Street-sellers of Drinkables
1 Tea
2 Coffee
3 Ginger-beer
4 Lemonade
5 Hot wine
6 New milk from the cow
7 Asses milk
8 Curds and whey
9 Water
10 [roll again twice]
5 1d20 The Street-sellers of Stationery, Literature, and the Fine Arts
1 Flying stationers
2 Standing and running patterers
3 Long-song-sellers
4 Wall-song-sellers (or “pinners-up,” as they are technically termed)
5 Ballad sellers
6 Vendors of play-bills
7 Second editions of newspapers
8 Back numbers of periodicals and old books
9 Almanacks
10 Pocket books
11 Memorandum books
12 Note paper
13 Sealing-wax
14 Pens and Pencils
15 Stenographic cards
16 Valentines
17 Engravings
18 Manuscript music
19 Images
20 Gelatine poetry cards
6 1d6 The Street-sellers of Manufactured Articles
1 1d10 The vendors of chemical articles of manufacture
1 Blacking
2 Lucifers
3 Corn-salves
4 Grease-removing compositions
5 Plating-balls
6 Poison for rats
7 Crackers
8 Detonating-balls
9 Cigar-lights 
10 [roll again twice]
2 1d20 The vendors of metal articles of manufacture
1 Razors and pen-knives
2 Tea-trays
3 Dog-collars
4 Key-rings
5 Hardware
6 Bird-cages
7 Small coins
8 Medals
9 Jewellery
10 Tin-ware
11 Tools
12 Card-counters
13 Red-herring-toasters
14 Trivets
15 Gridirons
16 Dutch ovens
17 [roll again twice]
18 [roll again three times]
19 [roll again, and also on subtable]
20 [roll again, and also on main table]
3 1d6 The vendors of china and stone articles of manufacture
1 Cups and saucers
2 Jugs
3 Vases
4 Chimney ornaments
5 Stone fruit
6 [roll again twice]
4 1d8 The vendors of linen, cotton, and silken articles of manufacture
1 Sheeting
2 Table covers
3 Cotton
4 Tapes and thread
5 Boot and stay-laces
6 Haberdashery
7 Pretended smuggled goods
8 Shirt-buttons
5 1d12 The vendors of miscellaneous articles of manufacture
1 Cigars, pipes, and snuff-boxes
2 Spectacles
3 Combs
4 “Lots”
5 Rhubarb
6 Sponges
7 Wash-leather
8 Paper-hangings
9 Dolls
10 Bristol toys
11 Sawdust
12 Pin-cushions
  6 [roll again twice]
7 1d4 The Street-sellers of Second-hand Articles
1 1d6 Old metal articles
1 Old knives and forks
2 Keys
3 Tin-ware
4 Tools
5 Marine stores generally
6 [roll again twice]
2 Old linen articles
3 1d3 Old glass and crockery
1 Bottles
2 Old pans and pitchers
3 Old looking glasses
4 1d3 Old miscellaneous articles
1 Old shoes
2 Old clothes
3 Old saucepan lids
8 1d6 The Street-sellers of Live Animals
1 Dogs
2 Squirrels
3 Birds
4 Gold and silver fish
5 Tortoises
6 [roll again twice]
9 1d8 The Street-sellers of Mineral Productions and Curiosities
1 Red and white sand
2 Silver sand
3 Coals
4 Coke
5 Salt
6 Spar ornaments
7 Shells
8 [roll again twice]
10 [roll again twice]
16 1d10 Street-Buyers
1 Hareskins
2 Old clothes
3 Old umbrellas
4 Bottles
5 Glass
6 Broken metal
7 Rags
8 Waste paper
9 Dripping
10 [roll again twice]
17 1d6 Street-Finders
1 Dogs’-dung
2 Cigar-ends
3 Dredgermen or coal-finders
4 Mud-larks
5 Bone-grubbers
6 Sewer-hunters
18 1d8 Street-Performers, Artists, and Showmen
1 1d4 The Street-Performers
1 1d3 Mountebanks—or those who enact puppet-shows
1 Punch and Judy
2 Fantoccini
3 Chinese shades
2 1d10 Street-performers of feats of strength and dexterity
1 “Acrobats” or posturers
2 “Equilibrists” or balancers
3 Stiff tumblers 
4 Bending tumblers
5 Jugglers
6 Conjurors
7 Sword-swallowers
8 “Salamanders” or fire-eaters
9 Swordsmen
10 [roll again twice]
3 1d10 Street-performers with trained animals
1 Dancing dogs
2 Performing monkeys
3 Trained birds 
4 Trained mice
5 Cats
6 Hares
7 Sapient pigs
8 Dancing bears
9 Tame camels
10 [roll again twice]
4 1d3 Street-actors
1 Clowns
2 “Billy Barlows”
3 “Jim Crows”
2 1d6 The Street Showmen
1 1d6 Extraordinary persons
1 Giants
2 Dwarfs
3 Albinoes
4 Spotted boys
5 Pig-faced ladies
6 [reroll]
2 1d4 Extraordinary animals
1 Alligators
2 Calves, horses and pigs with six legs or two heads
3 Industrious fleas
4 Happy families
3 1d3 Philosophic instruments
1 The microscope
2 The telescope
3 The thaumascope
4 1d4 Measuring-machines
1 Weighing
2 Lifting
3 Measuring
4 Striking machines
5 1d6 Miscellaneous shows
1 Peep-shows
2 Glass ships
3 Mechanical figures
4 Wax-work shows
5 Pugilistic shows
6 Fortune-telling apparatus
6 [roll again twice]
3 1d6 The Street-Artists
1 Black profile-cutters
2 Blind paper-cutters
3 “Screevers” or draughtsmen in coloured chalks on the pavement
4 Writers without hands
5 Readers without eyes
6 [roll again twice]
4 1d6 The Street Dancers
1 Street Scotch girls
2 Sailors
3 Slack rope dancers
4 Tight rope dancers
5 Dancers on stilts
6 Comic dancers
5 1d6 The Street Musicians
1 English street bands
2 German street bands
  (Players of the) 
3 Guitar
4 Harp
5 Bagpipes
6 Hurdy-gurdy
7 Dulcimer
8 Musical bells
9 Cornet
10 Tom-tom
6 1d10 The Street Singers
  (Singers of)
1 Glees
2 Ballads
3 Comic
4 Songs
5 Nigger melodies
6 Psalms
7 Serenaders
8 Reciters
9 Improvisatori
10 [roll again twice]
7 1d10 The Proprietors of Street Games
1 Swings
2 Highflyers
3 Roundabouts
4 Puff-and-darts
5 Rifle shooting
6 Down the dolly
7 Spin-’em-rounds
8 Prick the garter
9 Thimble-rig
10 [roll again twice]
8 [roll again twice]
19 1d3 The Street-Artizans, or Working Pedlars
1 1d3 Those who make things in the streets
1 1d4 Metal workers
1 Toasting-fork makers
2 Pin makers
3 Engravers
4 Tobacco-stopper makers
2 1d4 Textile-workers
1 Stocking-weavers
2 Cabbage-net makers
3 Night-cap knitters
4 Doll-dress knitters
3 1d4 Miscellaneous workers
1 Wooden spoon makers
2 Leather brace and garter makers
3 Printers
4 Glass-blowers
2 1d8 Those who mend things in the streets
1 Broken china and glass menders
2 Clock menders
3 Umbrella menders
4 Kettle menders
5 Chair menders
6 Grease removers
7 Hat cleaners
8 Razor and knife grinders
9 Glaziers
10 Travelling bell hangers
11 Knife cleaners
12 [roll again twice]
3 1d6 Those who make things at home and sell them in the streets
1 1d20 The wood workers
1 Makers of clothes-pegs
2 Clothes-props
3 Skewers
4 Needle-cases
5 Foot-stools
6 Clothes-horses
7 Chairs and tables
8 Tea-caddies
9 Writing-desks
10 Drawers
11 Work-boxes
12 Dressing-cases
13 Pails and tubs
14 The trunk, hat, and bonnet-box makers
15 The cane and rush basket makers
16 [roll again twice]
17 [roll again three times]
18 [roll again, and also on subtable]
19 [roll again, and also on main table]
20 [roll again twice, and also on main table]
2 1d12 The toy makers
1 Chinese roarers
2 Children’s windmills
3 Flying birds and fishes
4 Feathered cocks
5 Black velvet cats and sweeps
6 Paper houses and cardboard carriages
7 Little copper pans and kettles
8 Tiny tin fireplaces
9 Children’s watches
10 Dutch dolls
11 Buy-a-brooms
12 Gutta-percha heads
3 1d10 The apparel makers
1 The makers of women’s caps
2 Boys and men’s cloth caps
3 Night-caps
4 Straw bonnets
5 Children’s dresses
6 Watch-pockets
7 Bonnet shapes
8 Silk bonnets
9 Gaiters
10 [roll again twice]
4 1d3 The metal workers
1 Makers of fire-guards
2 Bird-cages
3 The wire workers
5 1d12 The miscellaneous workers
1 Makers of ornaments for stoves
2 Chimney ornaments
3 Artificial flowers in pots and in nose-gays
4 Plaster-of-Paris night-shades
5 Brooms
6 Brushes
7 Mats
8 Rugs
9 Hearthstones
10 Firewood
11 Rush matting
12 Hassocks
6 [roll again twice]
20 1d4 Street-Labourers
1 1d8 The Cleansers
1 Scavengers
2 Nightmen
3 Flushermen
4 Chimney-sweeps
5 Dustmen
6 Crossing-sweepers
7 “Street-orderlies”
8 Labourers to sweeping-machines and to watering-carts
2 1d2 The Lighters and Waterers
1 Turncocks 
2 Lamplighters
3 1d6 The Street-Advertisers
1 Bill-stickers
2 Bill-deliverers
3 Boardmen
4 Men to advertising vans
5 Wall and pavement stencillers
6 [roll again twice]
4 1d4 The Street-Servants
1 Horse holders
2 Link-men
3 Coach-hirers
4 Street-porters
5 Shoe-blacks
6 [roll again twice]