OSR: How To Do Reasonably Well on Kickstarter

This is a companion post to How To Become A Hundredaire On DriveThruRPG and Sharpening the Axe - How I Plan and Write RPG Books.

Note: Physical copies Magical Industrial Revolution are now on sale. Just in time for the holidays! Reviews and notes are in the Megapost.

Part 1: Magical Industrial Revolution retrospective.

'Tis the season for the traditional airing of grievances, but I've got very few grievances to air. This project went pretty well. It was delayed by two months, I nearly lost my mind a few times, but I learned a lot. All books were delivered. All goals were met. I didn't have to compromise or alter my plans significantly. Everyone got paid.
 

Timeline

I like being busy. I like balancing a dozen spinning plates on sticks at the same time.

This sort of long-form project, as it turns out, has periods of excitement, but it also has long periods of tedious waiting. It's less balancing plates and more setting them spinning and deliberately walking away. Will the plates still be spinning when you get back? Did you set them spinning at all?

		Writing	Editing & Layout	Art	Kickstarter & Distribution
2018	Sept. 22nd	First planning post.
	Oct. 10th	Innovation format set.
2019	Jan. 14th	Bulk of sections designed.
	Jan. 31st			Contacted Jonathan.
	Feb. 12th			Contacted Luka.
	Feb. 25th			Contacted Logan.
	Mar. 12th	Price list complete.
	Mar. 21st	Industrial magic complete.
	Mar. 25th			Logan round 1 art complete.
	June 6th	Bulk of sections written.
	June 20th		Contacted David with all details.
	June 26th		Obtained template files.
	June 27th	Playtest round 1 complete.		Luka interior art complete.
	July 7th				Contacted Jelly Muppet.

Originally, Magical Industrial Revolution wasn't going to be crowdfunded. Like my previous books, the plan was to write it, pay for the art, editing, and layout up front, and then sell it via a Print on Demand service, eventually making my money back. It's my view that RPG books are tools. Print on Demand fits that paradigm. Make it cheap, printable at home, and eminently accessible.  

That was the plan... until mid June. As the scope of the project became clear, Print on Demand became less and less appealing. By late June, I'd decided to fund some sort of print run out of pocket too. I'd scouted a few distributors, including Exalted Funeral, and put together a list of questions and potential plans.

On July 7th, I contacted Zach (Jelly Muppet) of SoulMuppet Publishing for advice and potential collaboration. I can't thank him enough. We didn't end up working together, but his advice ended up writing over my penciled-in answers with indelible pen. How does X work? Oh, like this. Who do you print with? Oh, this company I'd already shortlisted. Brilliant.

If this was late 2017, and I'd just decided to write Kidnap the Archpriest, I'd have signed up with SoulMuppet for sure. But since then I'd made enough contacts and stepped on enough rakes to figure out the basics. Art was sorted, layout was sorted, coordination was sorted, distribution was... well, not sorted, but I figured I could handle it. The timelines for a Kickstarter also didn't quite line up.

Point is, if you've got an idea or a draft of an RPG book but aren't sure what to do next, contact Jelly Muppet. They'll take care of the rest.

		Writing	Editing & Layout	Art	Kickstarter & Distribution
	July 10th				Contacted Exalted Funeral
	July 17th	Writing complete.	Contacted Fiona regarding editing.
	July 20th	Playtest round 2 complete.
	July 23rd			Public domain whitepointing begins.	Contacted David regarding a KS.

By late July, the bulk of the book was complete. I'd set up a preliminary distribution plan with Exalted Funeral and the basic plan of a Kickstarter with David Shugars. I brought David on board at the Kickstarter level for three reasons. First, he'd already run a Kickstarter and knew the process. Second, if something went awry, it'd be good to have a second account ready to step in. Third, Kickstarter is a bit leaky for my tastes.

We ran into a layout snag. I was not very good with Affinity Publisher. I'm still not, but I was worse then. The files I sent to David that I'd hoped would be directly editable turned out to be less than ideal. Lots of artifacts, errors, and strange decisions had crept into the text. He'd need a raw text file to get the book into a suitable format. During that process, the margin size also changed. This didn't affect the bulk of the text but some table entries were designed to precisely fit the page width. Revising those took extra time.

		Writing	Editing & Layout	Art	Kickstarter & Distribution
	July 25th			Contacted Logan for round 2.
	July 26th	Raw text file complete.	File sent to first-pass editor.	Luka cover art complete.
	July 29th			Jonathan map complete.
	Aug. 3rd		Edits recieved from first-pass editor.	Emergency colorist contacted.	KS details finalized.
	Aug. 6th			Emergency cover art complete.

The project ran into another snag in late August. Luka suffered a family tragedy just after completing the cover art, and wasn't able to provide a second round of edits or colour alterations. I reached out to a local artist (who declined credit), and Logan, in case the local artist ran into difficulties. Luckily, and almost miraculously, everything worked out. The cover was completed just 6 days before the Kickstarter launched.

		Writing	Editing & Layout	Art	Kickstarter & Distribution
	Aug. 9th			Jonathan interior art complete.
	Aug. 12th	Pamphlet text complete.			KS goes live.
	Aug. 13th
	Aug. 15th		Raw text sent to Fiona.	Public domain whitepointing complete.
	Aug. 17th		Edits recieved from Fiona
	Aug. 18th	Edits integrated into text.
	Aug. 21st			Logan round 2 art complete.
	Aug. 24th				KS ends.
	Sept 8th	Index complete.		Art card complete.
	Sept. 13th		Primary book revisions complete.	Luka bookplate complete.
	Sept. 18th				Print proofs ordered.
	Sept. 27th.				First PDF distributed to backers.

The Kickstarter launched on August 12th and ended on August 24th. You can follow the process via the Kickstarter updates.

I finished whitepointing, editing, and in some cases rescanning all the public domain art. Around 100 pieces made it into the book, but the workbook folders contain at least 1,000 images, not counting pieces I considered but didn't download or scan.

Fiona's editing run was less optimal than I'd planned, mostly because we didn't establish a style guide. A large number of "errors" were just differences of opinion, making integration with the main text more difficult than expected. This didn't delay the project, but it did mean a several extra hours of work. Style guides are important.

		Writing	Editing & Layout	Art	Kickstarter & Distribution
	Oct. 6th		Backer-located errors fixed.
	Oct. 9th				Print proofs recieved.
	Oct. 11th		Final PDF created.		Books ordered.
	Oct. 12th				New pamphlet printer located.
	Oct. 15th				Second print proof ordered.
	Oct. 24th				Second print proof received.
	Oct. 28th				Books arrive at Exalted Funeral.
	Nov. 18th				Distribution starts.
	Nov. 27th				Distribution complete.
	Dec. 4th				Books on sale now.

Another snag; the printer I'd selected wasn't able to complete the pamphlets. Luckily, pamphlet printing is common and fairly cheap. We found a replacement printer without delaying the overall delivery timetable.

A more serious delay occurred during book proof preparation. We'd done an order of 10 copies to check quality and provide a stock of complimentary copies. Despite no margin revisions or significant layout alterations, the printer insisted on sending a second proof.

Still, once those were sorted out, the books were shipped to Exalted Funeral.
 

Shipping

Exalted Funeral handled shipping and distribution.

Average US Domestic shipping was $4 per book. We collected $4.50.
Average Canadian shipping was $25 per book. We collected $13.50
Average international shipping was $35 per book. We collected $19.80.

Note: We charged $5, $15, and $22, but because Kickstarter's cut, we only collected ~90% of that value. I should have incorporated that into my initial math when setting up shipping.

If we'd charged shipping at cost, we'd have collected an extra $1,400. Subsidizing international shipping was always the intent, but now I've got data on how much it was subsidized.

Shipping kills Kickstarters. Get as many estimates as you can. Charge up front. People can whine, but it costs what it costs. Alternatively, you can spend hours and hours finding cheaper distributors in different countries. Run the cost-benefit analysis. See what makes sense based on your target audience. And prepare to eat some extra costs anyway.

Actual Profit

I'm not willing to publish all the numbers. I don't want to provide the exact rates artists or editors charged me. Everyone got paid what they asked for, though there was some haggling on a few points. If you want a hyperdetailed analysis of typical up-front costs, check out this post.

Pre-Kickstarter costs includes initial art, editing, and layout. Post-Kickstarter costs include extra payouts and proofs.

Pledge Total	$20,500
Kickstarter Payout	$18,750
Pre-Kickstarter Costs	$1,900
Cost of Books	$3,400
Cost of Pamphlets	$170
Cost of Stretch Goals	$310
Post-KS Costs	$500
Packing Fees	$3,000
Shipping (US, 219 orders)	$880
Shipping (Canada, 26 orders)	$660
Shipping (International, 74 orders)	$2,400
Total Expenses	$13,220
Profit	$5,530

A percentage of the profit (plus a flat fee) went to David for running the Kickstarter and generally making the book exist.
 

Reasonable Human Math

Living wage in the USA, at the time of writing, is $16 per hour. It might be $20 or 3-bottle-caps-and-some-non-irradiated water by the time you're reading this.

I can type 60 words per minute. MIR is around 80,000 words. That's 22 hours of typing. $352 just to type out the words. Hooray, profit. Pretty sure it took more than 22 hours though.

Let's use the industry standard (i.e. poverty-passion wage) of $0.05 per word. I need to make $4,000 for the project to meet the minimum local standard.

And that's just writing. I did the basic layout (which David had to redo from scratch, true, but the choice of words on page, table widths, and facing pages was mine). I edited and whitepointed hundreds of images. I made three videos! Badly, I'll freely admit, but I did it. I found artists, negotiated contracts, did research, ran playtests, etc.

So overall, for a year+ long project, I'd say this book wasn't terrifically profitable. It still beats DriveThruRPG sales though. Not counting David's cut, I made $0.06 per word just on the Kickstarter.

Note 2019/12/29: This article by the creators of After the War covers $0.20 per word math. It's not a cheerful update.

Note 2021/07/28: This article covers Zinequest fulfilment and discusses shipping rates.

Sources of Delay

• I failed to budget sufficient time for print proofs.
• There were some editing delays. Sometimes I'd request 10 edits, wait a week, and get back 8 edits plus a new change I hadn't asked for. It's a natural part of the process, and it didn't end up delaying the book significantly, but it was a definite frustration.
• Art very nearly delayed the project a few times, but we scraped through in the nick of time.
• Finding a backup printer for the stretch goals could have delayed the project, but it ended up not being an issue.
   

Part 2: Advice

My post on Sharpening the Axe covers book creation and planning in more detail. It's probably a good idea to read it first. Michael Prescott has a Kickstarter Task List that should also help.
 

Hire Good People

Find the best people you can and pay them what they want.

I'm not a huge fan of residuals, profit-sharing, or royalties. This industry has very low margins and it's a lot of work to coordinate it all. Given the choice between $200 and 5% of the profit of a Kickstarter, you should probably take the $200. Up front, if possible.

If you commit to long-term profit sharing, you're committing to the Dreaded Mathematics every month or quarter, for an indefinite period, for what could easily be a handful of change. It's a great deal if the product is immensely profitable, but the number of OSR bigwigs who own private islands and a garage full of classic sports cars appears to be zero.

You need to trust the people you work with, but you also need to hold them to deadlines, follow up, reject work, or make hard calls. There are elements of running a project like this that feel distinctly unfriendly. Always aim to be the most professional person in a group, even if everyone else is extremely professional. Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to pay everyone you hire.

Advertising Doesn't Work

Spending money on editing, playtesting, and high-level review is more important and more profitable than running ads. They simply don't work. Direct traffic, via a blog or a twitter account, is the way to go for small projects with a targeted audience. If people are excited about your project they will help out, but no amount of advertising can make people care.

For MIR, about 40% of pledges came through Discord, Blogger, and Twitter links. Around 10% came through Kickstarter directly. An i09 aggregate article brought in 9 backers. The rest were a medley of emails, notifications, and other sources.

If you're running a campaign for a product with broader appeal (a 5E module, a board game, dice, etc.), advertising might help. But for targeted or indie games, you'd be better off spending the money on comfortable socks and a chest of caffeinated beverages.
 

Estimate Kickstarter Backers

I went through about thirty recent OSR-ish kickstarters and looked at their tier numbers: PDF only vs book vs fancy book or book plus extras.

Based on the average, I came up with the following guidelines:
-50% of backers want a PDF, 50% want a physical book
-20% of backers who want a physical book will want a fancy version or stretch goals

So from 100 backers: 50 PDFs, 40 basic books, and 10 fancy books or stretch goals.

Knowing this, I could back-calculate how many backers I'd need to make the Kickstarter profitable. An added complication was the desire to overprint. I didn't want this project to end with the Kickstarter; I'd like the distributor to keep the product in stock until it stops selling. No limited editions here. I'd need to funnel some of my share of the profit into a larger print run.

After some back-and-forth with David, we decided to go with $40 base costs x 100 books for a $4,000 goal. If the KS funded, we'd print at least 100 books, so all costs could be based around that. Most costs decreased as volume increased, so as long as we budgeted around the worst case scenario we'd be OK. PDFs help; they're effectively pure revenue.

Note: Based on eyeballed numbers and other anecdotal evidence, you might be able to estimate the total number of Kickstarter backers by the number of views an average non-exciting blogpost gets in a week.
 

Estimate Pricing

This is an art more than a science. I wanted to keep the PDF cost low. $10 for the Kickstarter, $15 for sales afterwards. Eyeballed based on other similar products. That was easy.

Note: Once again, Retweeting "pay authors" or "support indie publishers" is free. Don't expect those people to turn up when the hat gets passed around.

Here's a formula for calculating the cost of a print book. It's not the one I used, but it's much nicer.

Let A = Price of Book

A = { [cost to print at minimal volume] + ( [cost of art+editing+layout] / [minimal volume] ) + [A*distributor percentage] + [safety factor] }*(KS cut factor)

Example (using made-up numbers):

• The minimal volume for this project is 100 copies.
• At 100 copies, this book costs $10 to print and ship to the distributor.
• The total cost of art, editing, and layout is $1,000. $1,000/100 is $10, so that's another $10 per book.
• The distributor percentage is 25% of the MSRP A.
• Safety factor is $5 
• Kickstarter, plus its payment processor, takes a 10% cut of all transactions. You'd better factor that in, and increase the price of your book by (1/0.9) = 1.11

Therefore:
A = [$10+$10+[A*0.25]+$5]*(1.11)
A = [$25+[A*0.25]]*1.11

A = $27.78+ 0.278A
A-0.278A = $27.79
A = $38.50

Hooray math. Feel free to add terms for percentage payouts to artists, editors, etc. Increase your safety factor and costs. Make the formula into a spreadsheet. Point out I missed a bracket. Whatever works.

But wait. You did the math for your Kickstarter and came to two conclusions:
1. $1000 for layout, art, and editing is ludicrously low.
2. There's no [term] for profit.

You are correct on both counts. If your fixed costs are a more reasonable $2k, you'll need to charge $54 per book. That might be a bit much, depending on your product. But the equation is still valuable. You can use it to eyeball your worst-case scenario. This is the floor. Every book over the minimum volume, every percentage under the rounded-up percentage, is profit.

Plan For Failure

Examine all moving parts of your project. Figure out what you'll do if one part fails. This is not a particularly nice thing to imagine, but it is necessary. Nobody is under any obligation to stay alive for your benefit. Given the choice between real-life stuff and helping an elfgame exist, most sensible people are going to choose real life. What's your plan?

For this Kickstarter, I had a backups bookmarked (but not, in most cases, specifically contacted) for all roles: layout, editing, interior art, cover art, map, printing, and distribution. As much as possible, I'd priced them out to ensure switching a new person in wouldn't sink the project. With the text complete before the Kickstarter began, it's possible a book would be produced even if I vanished.

Art is always a concern. I'd rated Logan as the artist least likely to have difficulty meeting their deadlines. Luka is normally pretty reliable, but he was working on Ultraviolet Grasslands at the same time. And Jonathan was a relative unknown; I'd never worked with them before and there weren't a lot of industry testimonials floating around. Luckily, aside from one minor issue covered above, everything worked out perfectly.

Plan For Success

Let's say you organize a picnic charity fundraiser. You expect, based on wishful thinking, 100 people to show up. 1,000 people show up instead. 5,000. Way, way too many. The parking lot is full. You're running out of hot dog buns. The portable toilets are apocalyptic. What's your plan?

Success can kill a project faster than failure. Calculations break down when demand rises by 10x. People get ambitious. Instead of running a Kickstarter for a print on demand book, they decide, when they see their total grow and grow, to go full offset print hardcover with extra stretch goals. Then they go bust, or spend all their profit on 2,000 hardover copies for a 200 backer project and have nothing left over to fix errors.

Restrain your expectations. Make sure your calculations work at high volumes. If you set out to use Printer A, stick with printer A. Don't get excited and switch to the unresearched Printer B at the last minute. Don't rely on wishful thinking and best case scenarios.

Let Other People Step On The Rakes

Learn from the failures of others. Don't step on the same rake. Find a new and exciting rake.

Off the top of my head, here are some reasons RPG Kickstarters failed:

• The layout person: quit / went bonkers / dropped off the face of the earth for three months.
• The artist: quit / traced all their art / lost the original scans / turned out to be a real asshole.
• The printer: failed to deliver the books on time / changed rates / folded / shipped the books to Uruguay by slow boat / was chosen at the last minute because they seemed cheaper but weren't able to deliver / don't accept files in the formats we can supply / didn't fill out a customs form so the port authority used the books as fertilizer
• The distributor: took a large deposit and folded / failed to ship the books / shipped the books in flimsy envelopes. 
• A collaborator: turned out to be notoriously unreliable / over-promised and under-delivered / changed their scope of work mid project.
• The main author: spent all the money before expenses were paid / failed to account for unexpected expenses / just didn't do what they said they were going to do.

The last point is critical. It's human nature. Once you've been paid, your motivation to finish the job plummets. "Why hunt mammoth if Thag already have mammoth?" some part of your brain thinks, and decides to futz around on the internet instead of sitting down and working on a project.

That's why I decided to write everything ahead of time. I also decided I'd be the last person to get paid.

Sunk Costs and Stretch Goals

In theory, crowdfunding gives you the cash to complete a project. In practice, if your costs are low, complete as much of the project as possible before crowdfunding. It reduces risk.
I wanted all art complete before the Kickstarter launched. This included stretch goal art. If you check the timeline, I had Logan and Luka working on the stretch goal art before the stretch goals were met or even announced. I'd written the stretch goal pamphlets before the Kickstarter launched. I don't like surprises.
 
I write RPG books. I don't make buttons, ribbons, elaborate leather carry cases, or fancy dice. I firmly believe people should buy a book based on its merits. There's enough nerd kitsch out there. I don't want to add more, and I definitely don't want to delay a book because a button-making factory has run into difficulties.
 
I strongly suggest focusing on your core product. Extras are nice as long as you're certain they won't delay or bankrupt your project. Steer clear of posters or bulky items. Shipping costs are ludicrous. Don't go mad over stretch goals. Effectively, you aren't being paid for them. People are backing your book anyway; why do more work for the same money? If you think stretch goals will drive funding, go for it, but the return curves seem similar for all projects.

Thanks

Once again, thanks to Jonathan Newell, Logan Stahl, Luka Rejec, Fiona Geist, Exalted Funeral, and David Shugars.
 

Questions

If you've got any questions about the process, leave a comment.

Ultraviolet Grasslands Session 2 - Disregard Food, Acquire Furniture

Last session, the PCs met for the first time, took out an enormous loan to trade in cat coffee, and stole a wicker autogolem.

Note: If you haven't read Ultraviolet Grasslands, most of this writeup will seem like psychedelic heavy metal Mad Libs. Even if you have ready UVG it's going to be a mess.

The PCs are:

Granville Porter
Cogflower necromancer lawyer. A mutant human thief/necromancer and warlock of Kon-Fabulate. Equipped with starscape skin, a vibrating thumb, a telephone that talks to dead people, and basic legal training.

Lapis
Bluelander engineer. A human hunter on the run .Member of the Bluelander Liberation Front. Now doubly on the run for stealing an auto-golem from her employer.

Gormog the Builder
Safarian merchant adventurer. A half-orc barbarian/fighter and warlock of Kon-Fabulate. Gormog is neither pretty nor clever, but knows a good deal when he sees it.

Clovis
Exiled pirate liberal. A half-elf barbarian chased out of the Red Lands for their radical views, Clovis has a chainsword and a tattoo of an aerolith fortress.

Karl
Wine vampire priest. A dwarf forcebender wizard and warlock of Deel, Orbital Wargoddess. Full of a strange blend of bloodlust and diplomacy.

Raphael Lacoste

That evening, clustered in the Last Chair Salon, the PCs decided on a company name. They would be "The Cat's Meow Trading Company", purveyors of mouldy discount premium extra-flavour cat coffee and other goods (as needed).

With two carts full of fungus-infected mouldy cat coffee and vital supplies, and a stolen autogolem full of equally stolen tools, the party left the Last Chair Salon at first light. Karl left slightly earlier to grab a skull from the burnt wreckage of their pursuers. "It was foretold!" the warlock shouted, holding the skull aloft. He spent the rest of the trip obsessively polishing and cleaning it.

Note: Karl's player couldn't make this session. Warlock-madness seemed appropriate. Instead of going further into debt to buy riding donkeys, the group decided to walk alongside their carts. Lapis got to ride in style in her stolen autowagon.

One week of travel across the early spring landscape, ducking under and around the crumbling pillars of the High Road, seasoned the group for travel through the Grasslands. Traveling through endless reminders of former glories was depressing, but at least the overpasses kept the ash-rain off their heads. Their destination remained the Porcelain Citadel, the decadent home of the Porcelain Princes.

The only human they encountered on the road was Gloria Hibiscus, a trained mantis-trader. She offered to swap a stack of mantis-cages for some coffee, but the party didn't relish the idea of caring for the fragile ash-coloured insects. Gloria did provide vague directions to the Potsherd Crown, a bulbous porcelain deposit two days off the main road. Apparently some of the wurm-tunnels contained undiscovered treasures.

That was good enough for the Cat's Meow. Full of beetle-rabbit stew, roast beetle-rabbit, mashed beetle-rabbit, and beetle-rabbit jelly on crackers, the group turned off the road and headed south.

Note: The random encounter checks this session just kept coming up beetle-rabbit. Clovis kept the group well provisioned, if not exactly pleased, with endless supplies of meat. They managed to obtain a week's worth of supplies just by hunting in the evenings. Apparently it's beetle-rabbit season.

Artur Sadlos

At the Potsherd Crown, the group met the porcelain prospector Obritish Krat, his nigh-invisible wife, and his oil-derrick fortress. Obritish was the first arrival of the season, setting up camp before the snow had fully melted. He traded a sack of medium-quality sanguine porcelain for a sack of cat coffee, then advised the group to skirt the far side of the dome and check for tunnels there. "And ifin you snap a Vome," the wax-bearded dwarf warned, "let it lie where it fall. Don't go looking."

Gormog, sadly, ignored this advice. Lapis' bolter put down two Vomish lurchers, but the quick-fingered half-orc couldn't resist picking through their remains for valuable tech. He found a few handfuls, but also caught a Vomish infection.

Note: Since this was the first time a Vome had turned up in the game, I gave the player a choice between a minor inconvenient infection that patent medicine could cure, or a more serious character-altering infection. Needless to say, the player choose the full version. At level 1, Gormog is now a Fighter/Barbarian/Warlock/[Vome]. At level 2, I suspect he'll be a corpse.

Excursions into the wurm-tunnels proved fruitful. Granville demonstrated entirely un-lawyerly reflexes and stabbed a bat-scorpion mid-attack. The first tunnel contained a wurm carcass and two immediately salvageable crystal teeth. The second tunnel contained, after a bit of trouble with a secret door, a hidden vault full of indigo porcelain furniture. Both barbarians, apparently, shared a love of antique furniture. Accurately dating and evaluating the find to an expedition from the Springtime of the Monarchies (second declension), the pair insisted the delicate pieces could be sold for a vast profit. The group jettisoned excess supplies to fit the furniture onto the carts, strapped one wurm tooth to Granville's back, and started walking.

The road to the Porcelain Citadel was little better than the Low Road. Ash was replaced with smoke; beetle-rabbits with desiccated carcasses. Granville stepped on a glass geode cluster and shredded one of his boots. Luckily, they group had eaten through enough supplies to let the mutant rest on a cart instead of hobbling alongside.

Pang P

Three days from the Citadel, the group met a Porcelain Prince (Constance 3-body), their glittering palatial eight-wheeled autowagon, and their two trigger-happy walker guards. Lapis hopped aboard to try and trade for medicine. Her description of Granville's wounded foot shocked and disgusted the polybody; Lapis was thrown off the cart with a free tub of numbing ointment. Clovis sprinted back to offer a free sample of "feral cat coffee" in return.

Finally, weary and dusty, coated in guano, rabbit ichor, and sour rain, the group staggered into the Porcelain Citadel. Paying for good quarters in the Houses of Many Colours, the group settled in for three weeks of carefully planned financial chicanery.

They couldn't all live like princes. Not yet. So they pooled their cash to pay for Granville Porter to live in style and comfort, while the rest of the group (ostensibly his servants) spread rumours through the town. A new blend of cat coffee was on the market. This "Granville Porter" was a great trader who carried priceless porcelain (these paltry sanguine fragments were a mere sample) and other valuable goods.

Both Clovis and Lapis worked for different, but ostensibly aligned, radical factions. Clovis was a pirate liberal; Lapis worked for Bluelander rights. In the Porcelain Citadel, the nexus of all revolutionary activity was "Your Life Burns Faster In This House", a radically fashionable party destination. Neither PC could afford the cover charge, let alone regularly attend Syruss Sensible's legendary all-night soirees.

Granville and Gormog found time to venerate Kon-Fabulate and the bastion of civilization He had allowed to grow in the wilderness. Gormog took the giant porcelain hand as a divine sign; the Hand of Kon-Fabulate, or at least an icon of it, lunging from the soil. He purchased commemorative keychains for everyone in the group.

Clovis spent a second week carving one of the crystal wurm teeth into a sword and daggers (to sell), crystal cat ears (for each party member), and a set of tacky crystal jewelry (to appease Granville). After sending out feelers to various Princes, the group sold their fungus-riddled "feral cat coffee" to Sherd 7-extension. The prince appreciated their matching headgear and deference to clearly superior polybodies.

After selling their porcelain furniture to a local dealer, the group reconvened to count their profits. They were still €1,400 short of their €7,000 loan from the cat-lord Melborne Red. Though they still had over a month to pay, Lapis volunteered to sell her precious autowagon and stolen tools, netting a further €3,000gp.

The group handed over their letters, credit chips, and notes to the reputable Purple League Coach Company, then settled in for a few days of relaxation.

Note: the Purple League Coach Company runs once a month between the Last Serai and the Violet City. Their fast armoured autowagons travel day and night. Anyone approaching within 100' of a moving wagon is shot. Robbery is extremely rare, the Purple League's backers are wealthy and enjoy a reliable flow of cash, letters, and small high-value packages through the Grasslands. The corpses of the last robber-band still adorn shards along the High Road... and the chrome grills of the Purple League's wagons.

With cash to burn, empty wagons, and a great reputation in town, the PCs were on top of the world. Their vague plan is to resupply, perhaps hire some help or upgrade their equipment, and ride for the Last Serai, and then to the aerolith listed on Clovis' map. Will they succeed and grow rich beyond their wildest dreams? Or will they blow all their cash carousing and go into debt again?

Find out next session.

OSR: On Lamentations of the Flame Princess

The story so far.

In February 2019, four women (Mandy, Hannah, Jennifer, and Vivka) accused Zak (Sabbath) Smith of some truly appalling things. You can (and should, if the rest of this post is going to make sense) read my response here.

If you haven't heard of Zak (Sabbath) Smith and followed that link, I'm terribly sorry, because I've probably introduced a great deal of unpleasantness into your life. The long and the short of it is that the stories are highly credible. The entire RPG community - people who can't normally agree about anything - kicked Zak to the curb.

Side Note: Zak is suing Mandy Morbid for defamation. Lawsuits, especially punitive lawsuits, are expensive. She's got a GoFundMe here.

If you have heard of this, you're probably heartily sick of it by now. But plenty of people haven't so please, bear with me.

Zak's main publisher and supporter was Lamentations of the Flame Princess, primarily run and operated by James Raggi. For the purposes of this article, the two are interchangeable. LotFP might have other employees but it's mostly a one-human shop. That human released a statement in February. Most people (including me, at the time) went, "Oh, good, well that's sorted then."

Except it wasn't.

LotFP Discord, approximately 2019/02/14

Twitter, 2019/10/27
Well after GenCon and the release of "Zak Has Nothing To Do With This Book"
So if that was a disavowal, it clearly didn't take.
Fucking "thanks"

"Zak Has Nothing To Do With This Book"

Back in Feburary, when all this kicked off, speculation was running rife. Would LotFP fire Zak? Set his books on fire? Continue selling them? Would Raggi hire Zak, his biggest name content creator, under a pseudonym? I don't recall any specifics but it seemed vaguely omnipresent.

I don't know how the rest of the internet reacted, but I treated all this nonsense correct degree of skepticism for internet theories. Tempers were running high. Speculation was inevitable. In the absence of anything useful or helpful to do, people will speculate, debate, and create scenarios. Then stuff happens and they move on.

Stuff happened. Most people moved on.

But James Raggi didn't. At Gencon (August 2019), he released an module called "Zak Has Nothing To Do With This Book", ostensibly as a raised middle finger against anyone who'd speculated he'd be in cahoots with Zak. From the official announcement:

I'll just say the title is inspired by certain people in the RPG industry thinking I was going to publish certain people under assumed names in order to skirt controversy. Other than the title, this product has no relation to real life events or drama.

I have... very strong feelings about using a sexual assault scandal as marketing.

If that was it, if the title was all the book had to do with this whole convoluted scenario, that'd be enough to put Lamentations of the Flame Princess, and James Raggi, forever in the Bin of Shame. Because you don't do that. You don't sell books based on someone's misery. How could anyone read these accounts and then go "I know what we'll call our next product." without splitting in half? "I know who the real victim is; me!"

But that wasn't everything. Not by a long shot.

Critical Empathy Failure

The book contained a choice passage. As phrased by reddit user jdeckert.

Basically, the NPCs have found a forbidden book and are looking to pin the blame on someone.

"They all settled on blaming... Zachary Canterbury, who goes by the nickname, Zak, because he said unwise things making it rather easy to be made the scapegoat."

"They all know they’re accusing an innocent man, and are doing so to prevent themselves from being subject to any kind of scrutiny."

Oof. Well, that's pretty bad. It does seem like the initial passive-voice reluctance in LotFP's February post wasn't just legalese. Appalling as that is, at least that's it... right?

Snakes on a Plane

No. The GenCon version of the book also contained an editorial essay. Either of these two articles dissect the essay with more precision than I can manage at the best of times. They're well worth reading.

The book wasn't just sold at GenCon. On September 22nd, 2019, Lamentations of the Flame Princess released the book on DriveThruRPG, pouring gasoline on a smouldering fire.

James Raggi quickly renamed the book, "An Analysis into the Nature of Man & the Satanic Power He Contains” which is perhaps a sign that he realized his usual marketing-via-controversy method, so successful in the past, had turned to bite him in the face.

Needless to say, people were annoyed. DriveThruRPG pulled the product, sending this note to some people. Via rpg.net (bolding mine).

Thank you for your patience while we discussed “An Analysis into the Nature of Man & the Satanic Power He Contains”. We appreciate the feedback we have received on this title whether it be from customers or publishers.

After our CEO returned to the office on Thursday, we were able to discuss and review this title together as a team. While it may not be the intended effect, the result brought greater attention and legitimacy to Zak Smith in the eyes of both his critics and supporters. In February, we decided to no longer carry future products from Zak Smith and in the spirit of that rule, if not the letter we have removed this title from our marketplace to support this prior decision in February.

If you have any further questions or concerns please let us know.

Leopards? Eating my face?

So by this point, I think it's pretty clear that James Raggi's disavowal at Zak was more of a shotgun divorce. Zak still profits (handsomely, by his own admission, even if no one else does) from his books that are still sold by Lamentations of the Flame Princess. Raggi is still moping about snakes preventing him from working with this great upstanding artist.

Where "Zak Has Nothing To Do With This Book" falls on the defensive-vanity-project to pitiless-cash-grab spectrum is debatable, but it's also fairly clear it's somewhere on that line.

But surely that's enough.

And yet, no.

It turns out that James Raggi lied to a collaborator on the book. Jez Gordon, a long-time artist and designer with Lamentations of the Flame Princess, had this to say. Via twitter (bolding mine).

My art appearing in a book does not mean I agree with everything that book might say. Nor does my graphic design for a newspaper mean I condone all the editorial content from the publisher, or my maps for government means I agree with everything that government does.

However, my artwork was recently featured in a satirical creation that made light of a very serious concern. Prior to doing the work I was assured that the book would not be controversial. It was, and given the history of the publisher, I was foolish to think it wouldn't be.

I won't retract my name from the publication, nor retract my work from the book. It's already out there, and I'll have to live with the aftermath of my choices. Just know that I regret my involvement and want nothing to do with this book.

While I do think Jez was caught by a trap that wouldn't have fooled Wile E. Coyote, it's still good that he recognized what happened.

And it's not good that James Raggi casually lied to one of his few remaining collaborators. In the grand scheme of things, especially considering Zak's behavior, it's not the worst sin in this post, but it still doesn't bode well for anyone working with him.

Cattle Call

Every so often, LotFP publishes a call for new talent. (The most recent one contains art that seems to be traced from Fire of Unknown Origin, but that's not really relevant.)

At this point, given what you've just read, working for Lamentations of the Flame Princess has got to be one of the dumbest ideas possible.

But if you think, knowing what you now know, that it's still a good trade, if you're heeding that call... I would be vaguely interested to hear what you're placing on the other side of the scales.

If you are still working with Lamentations of the Flame Princess, don't really don't need to justify yourself to me. Justify yourself to yourself. Read this post and explain the cost-benefit analysis in your head. Try to figure out why this is worth it to you.

How far away does your work have to sit from "Zak Has Nothing To Do With This Book" and James Raggi, its author, before you're morally comfortable with your choices?

Maybe you're putting profit or market access or support or friendship on one side of the scales, but at least look at the monstrous heaving weight on the other side.

What Should I Do?

Whatever makes you able to live with yourself.

I can't talk about "community values" or whatever without reaching for the "Delete Entire Blog" button. It's not how I roll. I do not want to police any sort of community. I wrote this because I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore. I do not like this stuff, I am bad at it, I want to write about 14th century grain laws and hedgehoglings.

But in situations like this, all I can do is lay out my views, with links and citations. You sort out the rest.

Maybe your favorite module was published by LotFP. Maybe you like the system. Maybe you've written for LotFP in the past. Maybe you stock them in your store. Maybe you've got them on your shelf.

Whatever. Now you know. It's on you.



Edit 2019/12/13: A commenter pointed out I had the name of one of Zak's accusers wrong. I have made the correction.

Edit 2023/12/15: As of April 2023(!), Zak and Raggi are still the best of pals. After everything.

From the LotFP official facebook page.

OSR: Alpha Mind Stats

Every sci-fi dungeon needs a load-bearing boss. Here's another draft page from the Monster Overhaul.

PDF

The Alpha Mind is an interesting boss fight. The Defense Laser Grid is a powerful attack but requires a full round to charge. It can try to turn people against each other (via simple commands) or deal direct damage to highly intelligent enemies by hijacking their minds.

The associated tables are also useful. What's an A.I without a name, a dangerous boss arena, and some irrational demands?

OSR: Ultraviolet Grasslands Session 1

When the last group of PCs dramatically exploded, my vaguely scheduled UVG game was rapidly moved forward. I wrote a GLOG hack, a player-facing intro, and a GM-facing map, crossed my fingers, and rolled some dice.

I even had a low-res copy of UVG printed and bound locally. Would not recommend, but having a physical copy I can scrawl all over is handy.

The Ultrabudget Grasslands
Except it's not even that cheap.

Note: If you haven't read UVG, most of this writeup will seem like psychedelic heavy metal Mad Libs. Even if you have ready UVG it's going to be a mess. Consider checking out Eric Vulgaris' youtube reports.

After rolling for race, stats, and backgrounds, then selecting a class, the starting PCs are:

Granville Porter
Cogflower necromancer lawyer. A mutant human thief/warlock/necromancer with starscape skin and a vibrating thumb.
When Granville's prospects at a major law firm looked bleak, he participated in an expedition to the deep sump-vaults below the Emerald City. There, he discovered a potent machine-shrine to Kon-Fabulate, god of cities, of industry, and of asphalt. Devoting his very soul to his new patron, he gained insight into necromancy and quickly rose in the ranks of his firm. Greed, and the graffiti-visions of Kon-Fabulate, brought him to the Violet City.

Lapis
Bluelander engineer. A human hunter on the run.
By day, a freelance mechanic and golem-tuner. By night, a member of the Bluelander Liberation Front, a semi-radical group working to undermine the Violetlanders who grow rich on cheap Bluelander labour. Carries a scavenged bolter, a hunting rifle of ancient make and surprising power.

Gormog the Builder
Safarian merchant adventurer. A half-orc barbarian/warlock/fighter.
Gormog went on the same expedition as Granville and was one of the few to return alive. He dedicated his soul to Kon-Fabulate, though he sought martial prowess over mental acuity. He carries a Black City Blade, a sword of paper-thin crystal that cleaves through armour and flesh with ease.

Clovis
Exiled pirate liberal. A half-elf barbarian.
Chased out of the Red Lands for their radical views, Clovis took to the road with nothing but a head full of ideas.. and a chainsword. Clovis also has a tattoo of an aerolith fortress somewhere near the Last Serai and grand dreams of wealth and power.

Karl
Wine vampire priest. A dwarf forcebender wizard/warlock.
Karl (it's a very old family name) serves a sinister Wine Vampires cabal as a priest of Deel, Orbital Wargoddess. The incomprehensible para-wave radio signals beamed to his holy symbol every morning give Karl a fixed and noble purpose; smash the world and rebuild a better one. In the meantime, he's on a diplomatic mission to deliver a priceless pearl to a Porcelain Prince at the Porcelain Throne. After all, what could be more decadent than dissolving a pearl in bloodwine?

Note: 3/5 players choose to take the new Warlock class or template for a spin. Two ended up with the same patron, who wants buildings preserved and new cities raised. One ended up with Deel, who's more on the burning-and-slaughter side of divinity. Check out the Ultraviolet GLOGlands hack for more info.

It'll be... interesting to see how that works out. A boost of immediate power proved too tempting for some players. I suspect they haven't thought through the consequences of working directly for a deity. I need to make a table of whims.

The Caravan

Clovis had a map but no money.
Karl had connections but no escort into the Grasslands.
Gormog had mercantile experience but no backing or plan.
Granville could draw up a contract but was struggling to make money.
And Lapis just needed a ride out of town. The Violet City's merchants were closing in.

They met in Wojer's Coffee House (Open 26/7). Clovis had been trying to attract adventure capitalists for weeks without success. Investing in a treasure map tattooed on an elf didn't appeal to most people. Karl's bosses had advised him to find or fund a caravan; he could leverage his contacts for a very high interest short term loan.

Decadent cat lord Melborne Red, impressed by Karl's letter and ambition, cut him a deal. He had a silo full of slightly mouldy cat coffee. He'd be happy to loan Karl any reasonable sum of cash (at 250% interest with full payment due in 2 months or we put you in the giant apple peeler) and sell him the coffee. Karl could take it to the Porcelain Throne, sell it there, and return profitable and happy. "Get a crew together and visit my villa tonight," the cat lord purred. "We're having a party. I'll sign the documents and you can be on your way at first light."

While Karl was haggling to hire Gormog and Granville, Clovs the elf slid into the conversation with some vague hints of Grasslands knowledge. Listening from her basement lair via a microphone hidden in a flowerpot, Lapis smiled. Perfect. She pretended to wander in, joined the venture as their official cut-rate mechanic, and promised she could arrange her own transportation. Oh yes.

Note: UVG suggest a practically charitable interest rate: 100% annually! That's for amateurs and pensioners. Melborne Red probably expects the group to fall short of full repayment. He knows the contract-driven dwarf will never break his word; they'll just need to come to some other much more profitable arrangement. And put a few of his cronies in the apple peeler. But should they somehow pay him back, he's still laughing. I know this group. They'll do fine... or explode.

The group settled into full logistics mode, calculating travel times, ration rates, and number of pack animals. Their plan was simple: two large carts pulled by two donkeys each. One cart for rations, one cart for cat coffee. Secretly, Gormog adjusted the ratios, cutting two sacks of food in favour of two more sacks of coffee.

Note: I misread the inventory rules. Each PC takes up 2 sacks: one for the person and one for their gear. Here's a handy equation. A caravan needs:
[# of people]x(2+[weeks of travel]) + [cargo] + [heavy or bulky items]
Sacks of capacity to avoid foraging.

I'd stated that wagons have a built-in crew capacity at the table but that'll cause all sorts of trouble later. Next session, we'll need to decide if the PCs went further into debt to buy extra mules or horses or if they decided to walk alongside their wagons. Riding in one, come to think of it, is probably a bad idea anyway. Wagons over rough terrain are not fun.

Meanwhile, Lapis worked on her escape plan. A shop she worked for (Errard Isenbrew's Mechanical Fixations) had a shiny wicker autogolem in for minor cosmetic repairs. It belonged to a local cat lord (someone; not Melborne Red, at least). Fast, air-breathing, and shiny, the autowagon was very tempting. The valuable tools littering the workshop were also appealing to Lapis' eye. Why not put them to better use elsewhere?

She broke into the machine shop late that night to begin packing. Her boss, Errard, was working unexpectedly late. She was nearly caught filling the autogolem's trunk with tools but managed to avert a crisis. Still, her boss was acting very suspiciously. Careful observation via chimney and skylight revealed that he, and some of her coworkers, were running a quasi-legal underground fight ring. Personality override implants, normally used to punish indentured workers without wasting valuable hours of labour, were attached to two Bluelanders. Fights were short but brutal.

At the same time, Karl and the other adventurers visited Melborne Red's all-night party to sign the final paperwork and collect their loan. Melborne, high as a kite and playing with a cat-toy mobile, was in an amenable mood until Gormog suggested lowering the interest rate slightly. Melborne's pet held the half-orc by his collar and berated him soundly, but in the end, agreed to sell them the mouldy cat coffee at a lower price.

Still, the group was nearly €7,000 in debt. Granville's attempt to pickpocket a guest nearly resulted in disaster, but thanks to a hasty apology and an overturned tray of drugs, the group escaped in good spirits. Clovis and Karl both had a lovely time, though Karl spent all night checking clutching the group's bank drafts and notes.

The next morning, while the group inspected donkeys and loaded carts with all manner of useful items, Lapis nonchalantly arrived to work very early to complete the escape plan. Unfortunately, Errard was waiting for her with a loaded pistol. He'd checked the autowagon's trunk. Pointing out that he could be imprisoned (or fined, at least) for running an illegal fighting pit didn't help; Errard pointed out that was an additional reason to kill her. Lapis ducked under the autowagon, shoved it forward, and knocked him to the ground. Then, leaping over the wagon with daggers drawn, she stabbed Errard in the lungs. He got off one shot, but it barely grazed the hardy Bluelander.

Bleeding slightly, Lapis stole the locked cashbox from the office and tried to break into the palm-printed safe using Errard's severed hands. Sadly, the ancient safe remained locked. Spattered with blood and slightly panicked, Lapis threw on her driving goggles, tossed a few more items in the trunk, and sped out of the violet city. The wicker autogolem's wheels bounced over the cobbles as the wayward mechanic sawed at the wheel, spinning around corners and leaping over gutters.

Heavy Metal 03 V1 #6 (1977)

Meanwhile, the group's slow convoy was already on the road. They'd agreed to meet at the Last Chair salon at nightfall; if Lapis didn't turn up, her share was forfeit, and the group was to move on without her.

She blew past them at a ludicrous speed, the rubberized tires of her roaring golem scattering gravel all over the hardy donkeys. If she recognized the convoy she didn't stop for conversation, but arrived at the Last Chair Salon well before dark. An hour later, three vehicles roared by in pursuit. Two clattering petrol-bikes and a long chopper-quad with rotary cannon and two personality-rigged berserkers. They didn't examine the convoy either. They were after the wagon and Lapis.

After bribing the owner with half the cashbox's contents (€100), Lapis stored the wicker autogolem in an underground garage, disguised the entrance and tracks, and watched her pursuers from the top floor of the salon. Her former coworkers, in hot pursuit of the stolen vehicle and delicious revenge, were directed west by the salon's owner. A vehicle had sped past without stopping. No, she hadn't seen which road it had taken.

The pursuers split up. The chopper-quad and one bike went south, while one bike took the long track north. With the light fading, they'd agreed to reconvene at the Salon after sunset and set out again in the morning. When the rest of the PCs arrived, tired, dusty, and in need of a yellow beer or three, they decided pursuit was not in their best interests. Ambushing the mechanics as they returned was far easier. Lapis assured the group this would put an end to all her troubles. She neglected to mention the vehicle's owner.

The ambush was perfect in its simplicity. The PCs strung a polymer rope between two stones on the north road. Hiding behind a rock, Karl watched the south road, readying his warlock-infused wall of force spell. When the lights of the chopper-quad and bike approached the crest of a hill, he simply summoned the nigh-invisible wall at the bottom. The bike hit the wall at full speed and detonated immediately. The quad's driver, a few metres behind, desperately slewed the vehicle sideways, but slammed into the wall and debris too. Both vehicles burned and sizzled.

On the north road a few minutes later, the third biker spotted the column of smoke and stopped to pull out a spyglass. A shot from Lapis' rifle sparked off a nearby rock. The biker hopped back on and spurred the engine to full power. Two subsequent shots missed.

Mad Max: Fury Road

While Granville interrogated a corpse and Gormog cleared debris off the road, Clovis picked through the wreckage and discovered an intact personality override implant. The octopus-like device was worth at least €150, maybe more.

Flush with success, the party moved into the Last Chair Salon and relaxed. One day on the road and they were already victorious heroes with a €2,000 autowagon, a ton of cat coffee, and a plan. What could possibly go wrong?

Find out next session.