tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19585224165034422482024-03-18T05:43:19.377-06:00 Coins and ScrollsSkerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.comBlogger584125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-7173513951986027982024-02-12T22:43:00.000-07:002024-02-12T22:43:04.284-07:00OSR: Holy and Roguish Items, Pocket Debris, and the Ghastly Tomb Tinies<p><span style="font-family: arial;">Here are another 7 draft pages from a potential <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2024/01/osr-treasure-overhaul.html">"Treasure Overhaul"</a> book. Combined with the <a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BGiOsV4vjE5i4bXMxPhwugEr2fVrY0fm/view">previous PDF</a>, that's 13 pages of free treasure. <br /></span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1aTogOmopMBopmWYQWKKmA_pxLe7HW-cE/view?usp=sharing" style="font-family: arial;">PDF</a></h2><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1aTogOmopMBopmWYQWKKmA_pxLe7HW-cE/view?usp=sharing" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3088" data-original-width="2056" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj85EFF89zZY43QpcrI1Iro7KbXWwLvCfS9wv_uczWkL9HGNAtNG9Lx4nIwc-HeJwI6SPfr1klJuoXWst0bfnMCKYX38XF7TVXY8gJiOygRS0c3_hgRPb3Gnw12v7AXY2aSdLA7VXOVitWxIRd6mxPOlnhYeHaPz-dQqxzNq3tjvrOAusHYQ8mu_SFShQk/w426-h640/Holy%20Item%20Export%20Page.png" width="426" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">Unique and legendary holy items (such as the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ashgP4YMdJw">Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch</a>) will probably go in a different section, or on a new page.</span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Pocket Detritus page will go after a standard (well, relatively standard) Dead Adventurers section/chapter. The Ghastly Tomb Tinies are a fun list of 26 corpses (loot pending) <a href="https://www.themarginalian.org/2011/01/19/edward-gorey-the-gashlycrumb-tinies/">in the style</a> of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Gorey">Edward Gorey</a>. <br /><br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOSCTX0xRS_O4AeRq1UCi_vj5ALIaq5Tx5n5QxSmXidAMFBH7Kqey7nqP-_ouIMNGxu5hcKw-3oUFyAQ7Cta_ungddIx8Aapq7xwzAcgKNqq4WhTeuYha0ToAd12_7gL9tkiZivcNcTMzfLK13EZuI9H2rn96fIFSwJ1P5gzL0-yxZ6Ksbl7qTr37okh4/s2029/Ghastly%20Tomb%20Tinies%20Title.png" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="965" data-original-width="2029" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOSCTX0xRS_O4AeRq1UCi_vj5ALIaq5Tx5n5QxSmXidAMFBH7Kqey7nqP-_ouIMNGxu5hcKw-3oUFyAQ7Cta_ungddIx8Aapq7xwzAcgKNqq4WhTeuYha0ToAd12_7gL9tkiZivcNcTMzfLK13EZuI9H2rn96fIFSwJ1P5gzL0-yxZ6Ksbl7qTr37okh4/w640-h304/Ghastly%20Tomb%20Tinies%20Title.png" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><p></p>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-8057912868862479822024-01-25T11:22:00.001-07:002024-01-25T11:22:30.943-07:00OSR: The Treasure Overhaul (?) <p><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://old.reddit.com/r/osr/comments/191oydk/in_2024_what_osr_products_would_you_like_to_see/kgx03tb/">Some people</a> have asked for a "<i><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/02/osr-monster-overhaul-megapost.html">Monster Overhaul</a></i> but for treasure and spells." Here's a very early six-page draft attempt at compressing a lot of classic D&D items into an immediately usable format.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">1. Magic Weapons<br />2. Magic Armour<br />3. Potions<br />4. Tools<br />5. Transport<br />6. Helms<br /></span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BGiOsV4vjE5i4bXMxPhwugEr2fVrY0fm/view?usp=sharing" style="font-family: arial;">PDF</a><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BGiOsV4vjE5i4bXMxPhwugEr2fVrY0fm/view?usp=sharing" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3072" data-original-width="2127" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirsLFg0y_7UIOskvNLlkPnnYbuRjNlrthwLIXOQKHK5lTekuSYiIskGSxLw-vBHSaZgmkCl_QUJCLGCrB9AH0CttmeM3XBNrBe0hzOFKytdwjwAm8LDC6XKtoDM282FfMklmD5IrehS6XpFA6PjGrOkTwMRtP0kB21F3-YDWG9p45B6ojRDa-kwymcmlY/w444-h640/Magic%20Weapons%20Page.png" width="444" /></a></div><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Design Challenges<br /></span></h2><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Organization</span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2019/10/osr-monster-overhaul-planning.html">The plan for the Monster Overhaul</a> eventually crystallized into 20 themed chapters of 10 monsters, an introduction, and indexes.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">With magic items, the themes are more clear, but also less interesting. The draft PDF has six sections. The plan is to add themed section, such as: </span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Holy Items (holy avenger, holy symbols, <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2020/02/osr-iconodules-iconoclasts-and-1d50.html">icons</a>...)<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Wizardly Items (hats, orbs, staffs...)<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Roguish Tricks (skeleton key, disguise kits...)<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Elf, Dwarf, Gnome, Fey, Elemental, Dragonic, etc. Items (Boots/cloaks of elvenkind...)<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Magitech / Sci-Fi (blasters, laser swords...)<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Horror</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Aquatic (harpoons...)</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Mundane treasure (artwork, furniture, gems...)</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Intelligent Items (talking swords, magic mirrors...)<br /></span></li><li><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2019/04/osr-ad-artifact-generation.html" style="font-family: arial;">Artifacts </a><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></li></ul><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I would also like to expand the current sections with "weird" followup tables. The current pages cover basic, standard, in-common-use items, but the real fun (for me) is weird items with highly situational uses. The compressed Magic Weapon page in the draft PDF could be followed by 1d100 (or more) specific magic weapons. They'll probably be less useful than +2 lightning greatsword, but that's part of the fun. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">This is why some sections repeat the Element d8 table; in the final project, they'll be separated by multiple pages from the next Element d8 table.</span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Duplicated Effort</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>The Monster Overhaul </i>has a lot of items in it, and they're placed in a useful context. So does <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2019/10/osr-magical-industrial-revolution.html"><i>Magical Industrial Revolution</i></a>, articles on this blog, and the rest of the internet. A book of magic items needs to rely on utility, density, and editorial choice to stand out. <br /></span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Layers of Flavour</span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The monster entries in <i>The Monster Overhaul </i>follow a consistent pattern. Think of them as the sponge of the sponge cake. The generic locations are the icing or custard. The really weird tools, like Generic Life Cycle chart, are little bits of flavourful fruit. This isn't the best metaphor, but it will do.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">With a book of items, there's a very real risk that the entire book is sponge, an endless series of unremarkable tables. Items do not have agency. They don't <i>want </i>anything.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">(Well, intelligent swords might want things, but that's an edge case.)<br /></span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Signposts</span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The chapter title pages of the Monster Overhaul serve as landmarks. They break up the text into manageable and <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2021/09/osr-book-entrances-and-exits.html">navigable</a> chunks. With a book of treasure, the chapters feel either too long (all magic items, all spells) or too short (magic weapons, potions, etc.). This might be alleviated as the project continues.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Readers should be directed to important information on a page. The trouble with tables is that they can blend together. A crucial table that should be used frequently looks, at a glance, like a table that's just for specific situations or optional flavour. In a book of tables, how do you maintain at-table utility while still providing high density? <br /></span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Power Level</span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">With I like to divide </span><span style="font-family: arial;">non-weapon and non-armour </span><span style="font-family: arial;">items into two categories:<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">1. An item a PC will use all the time, in all situations.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></p><blockquote>E.g. a Belt of Giant Strength. If a PC gets a Belt of Giant Strength, and it improves their Strength, there's no reason to ever take it off. It's pure enhancement. </blockquote><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">2. An item a PC will use situationally. Ideally, in situations not envisioned by the designer.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></p><blockquote>E.g. a Portable Hole. It might allow for some cool and unexpected solutions to a problem, but it can't assist with every problem.</blockquote><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">This is why classic items like a Belt of Giant Strength and Gauntlets of Ogre Power don't appear on these treasure tables. They will appear <i>somewhere</i>, but I'd like to place them with items that enhance a PC in equally permanent most-situations zero-downside ways. Some items from the Tools section might make their way to this proposed section eventually.<br /></span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Description and Variants</span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Magic items should feel special. They should have an aura of mystery and wonder about them. This can be difficult to evoke in a game about small integer math and dying in a hole for treasure. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I also want to balance utility with density. Yes, I could make a full-page magic armour description with dozens of adjective prompts and historical references, but is that actually <i>helpful? </i><br /></span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Useful Articles</span></h2><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="http://udan-adan.blogspot.com/2018/02/when-all-you-have-is-hammer-item-based.html" style="font-family: arial;">Item Based Problem Solving - Against The Wicked City, Joseph Manola</a></li><li><a href="https://goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2016/05/the-glog-alchemy-and-oozes.html" style="font-family: arial;">Alchemy and Oozes - Arnold Kemp</a></li><li><a href="https://goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2015/01/d100-minor-magical-items.html" style="font-family: arial;">1d100 Minor Magic Items - Goblinpunch, Arnold Kemp</a></li><li><a href="https://www.bastionland.com/2016/01/d100-oddities-for-new-characters.html" style="font-family: arial;">100 Oddities for New Characters - Bastionland, Chris McDowall</a><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></li></ul><p><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></p>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-75266544608755400422024-01-05T20:09:00.003-07:002024-01-05T20:09:40.221-07:00OSR: Clerics of Pegāna<p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Here are some spells for Lord Dunsany's <a href="https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Gods_of_Peg%C4%81na"><i>Gods of Pegāna</i></a> (1905). If you need a ready-made public domain pantheon for your games and you don't want the standard Law vs. Chaos dualism of Anderson and Tolkien. It was a fun writing exercise, even if I chose to stick with the unfortunately gendered language of the original text. <br /><br /></span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO7DAkMoF8-M9TtvhuCKBPK150AHuABnPamRuEBjsGcYMFbjIB-vSvYTrPXTxLeOvrM395kIadzJFngyyxfhKu1YHVIPOI7at8dyamA0EBy_OSslE55SL3Q3KL5qkd8YQEFrXwmxZAqX_NY4hkv34yaVvQiGCEeMCn0svWq2did1jCGlmEd-x52JwRDd4/s1600/1476619778071.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1576" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO7DAkMoF8-M9TtvhuCKBPK150AHuABnPamRuEBjsGcYMFbjIB-vSvYTrPXTxLeOvrM395kIadzJFngyyxfhKu1YHVIPOI7at8dyamA0EBy_OSslE55SL3Q3KL5qkd8YQEFrXwmxZAqX_NY4hkv34yaVvQiGCEeMCn0svWq2did1jCGlmEd-x52JwRDd4/w630-h640/1476619778071.jpg" width="630" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div class="sub-title"><a href="https://www.michaelwhelan.com/" style="font-family: arial;">Michael Whelan</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Testament of the Prophet Zoz</span></h2><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In the Temple in Aradec of All the gods save One, the High Priests of all the lands came to dispute and examine the matters of the gods. And a great debate arose touching on the games of the gods. Some said the gods play their games with dice, and some say they play their games with cards, and some said they use neither dice nor cards but only words and deeds. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">And the Prophet Zoz, who was the least of all the prophets, said that the gods play their games with dice, <a href="https://forums.giantitp.com/showthread.php?59022-quot-A-DM-only-rolls-the-dice-because-of-the-noise-they-make-quot-Gary-Gygax">but rolled them only for the pleasing sound they make</a>.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">That night did the Prophet Zoz dream of a world where the gods attended to the prayers of men, and walked the Earth, and where the rattling of the dice of the gods could be heard on cold and still nights. Benisons and curses fell like rain upon the people, and they cried out: "Would that the gods did not attend to our prayers!"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">When Zoz awoke, he wrote of this world, and would rebuke those who complained that the gods heeded not their prayers, saying: "Such a world have I seen in a dream, and it was not a pleasing world, for the prayers of men are foolish. Praise the gods, for they play their games in secret."<br /></span> <span style="font-family: arial;"><br />This is the testament of the Prophet Zoz, the least of all the prophets.</span></p><p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfZ9tCvJuut2ibbL5HxYqjgs_AYIPAtEpdZkSEEX9U3eeAd4wFmZ25EhyphenhyphenkKo1MjzBaFC5GIa0_iyouKFir1gTpTxjEGiSXhFcahwYx729Uj1bIVIs9-LtcBbWRqcOn2sc4GMtjc7qqJvmOU0V8Y8h8aSvb0eRVB22C-taRW5pFcLMmX1kGX_Zv1Cctsjw/s1920/raphael-lacoste-desert-pillars-raph.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1152" data-original-width="1920" height="384" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfZ9tCvJuut2ibbL5HxYqjgs_AYIPAtEpdZkSEEX9U3eeAd4wFmZ25EhyphenhyphenkKo1MjzBaFC5GIa0_iyouKFir1gTpTxjEGiSXhFcahwYx729Uj1bIVIs9-LtcBbWRqcOn2sc4GMtjc7qqJvmOU0V8Y8h8aSvb0eRVB22C-taRW5pFcLMmX1kGX_Zv1Cctsjw/w640-h384/raphael-lacoste-desert-pillars-raph.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.artstation.com/raphael-lacoste" style="font-family: arial;">Raphael Lacoste</a></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Clerics of the Gods of Pegāna</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Priests attend to the temples of the gods, but Clerics go among the people and do the will of the gods. One man may be a Cleric of Kib and a Cleric of Sish and a Cleric of Mung, if he thinketh he may please Kib and Sish and Mung and all other gods besides. For if he displeaseth the gods, they will set their faces against him, and his prayers shall go unheeded, and his hopes shall turn to ash.</span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">These are the Workings of the Clerics of Kib </span></h2><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Kib, Sender of Life in all the Worlds </span></h2><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Best-loved of Clerics are the Clerics of Kib. They cut not their hair, nor their nails, nor wash, and yet they are welcome in every home. The aspect of the beast is evident in them.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The touch of a Cleric of Kib healeth the sick and restoreth life to the dying, if it be the will of Kib. <br /><br />Kib may awaken the mind of a beast, likening it to the mind of a Man, so that the Cleric of Kib may converse with it or command it in the name of Kib. And thereafter the beast may again be a beast, or it may be a Man, if such is the will of Kib. <br /><br />Kib, who made all beasts, may make another beast to answer the prayers of a Cleric of Kib, but whether it be a sheep or a bird or a serpent of the deep is according to the will of Kib. <br /><br />The Cleric may look at a stick and say: “This is like unto a serpent,” and behold, Kib maketh the Sign of Kib, and the stick is a serpent. Or the Cleric may: “This stone is like unto a tortoise,” and behold, it is a tortoise. But the Cleric may not gaze upon a statue and say: “This is like unto a Man,” for Kib, who made Man, liketh not the presumption of sculptors, and will surely abandon his Cleric. <br /><br />And the Cleric of Kib may speak all the tongues of men, for Kib was the first broke the Silence of Pegāna. <br /><br /></span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">These are the Workings of the Clerics of Sish </span></h2><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Sish, the Destroyer of Hours. </span></h2><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Clerics of Sish are aged before their years, and wear rent garments or ashen rags, for the breath of Time is upon them, and the teeth of Time pass near their flesh. And they are burdened by sad knowledge of days long past, or strange thoughts of days to come. <br /><br />The Cleric of Sish may petition Sish to hold back Time, which is the hound of Sish, from harrying a beast or a stone or any other thing, and, if Sish wills it, the thing may stand untouched, while all around falls to ruin. And a thing untouched by Time may not move or speak or think or do any other thing, but may only be, and remain so until Sish lets loose his hound once more. <br /><br />Sish may also let Time fall upon a thing with ravenous hunger and unconstrained strength. And a thousand, ten thousand, ten million years may fall upon the object of the wrath of Sish. <br /><br />And Sish may turn his head to the right, and then the Cleric of Sish may walk as swiftly as an arrow. And Sish may turn his head to the left, and then the Cleric of Sish may walk as slowly as a tortoise or fall as a gentle leaf. But Sish easily tires of such prayers. <br /><br /> Secrets hath Sish, but not Desires, for these are the domain of Yoharneth-Lahai, and not Causes, for these are the domain of Dorozhand.</span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhO-yuwIOS4utbBPXm89e08xZ0Wb4dh6iNhkvPLZ58U4xTXev53Sfiui_AXc4jqPhHuaeNCEADOW0xdauDJkfHgNpOspq3pjVgH1MtH6Zs84knrFuxWUjmYwiQkVIdBnQPvP6aFiMXd_Sb5_paJQmLT6WcYcR9o6whnGNBl0F4H7Qtz-8LPdjKXaXbl5E/s1600/slid-by-sidney-sime.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1148" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhO-yuwIOS4utbBPXm89e08xZ0Wb4dh6iNhkvPLZ58U4xTXev53Sfiui_AXc4jqPhHuaeNCEADOW0xdauDJkfHgNpOspq3pjVgH1MtH6Zs84knrFuxWUjmYwiQkVIdBnQPvP6aFiMXd_Sb5_paJQmLT6WcYcR9o6whnGNBl0F4H7Qtz-8LPdjKXaXbl5E/w460-h640/slid-by-sidney-sime.jpg" width="460" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Slid - Sidney Sime</span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">These are the Workings of the Clerics of Slid </span></h2><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Slid, Whose Soul is by the Sea</span></h2><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Clerics of Slid are fickle and restless, for the Song of Slid resounds in their ears and dances through their limbs. They find no rest in Slid, for the moods of Slid are felt in his Clerics, and Slid is never still. They that go down to the sea in ships offer gifts to the Clerics of Slid.<br /><br />The chill of the deep is in the hands of the Clerics of Slid, and the warmth of the gentle sand. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Slid may turn his Cleric to sea-foam and water for a time, so his will may be carried into dark and secret places. Or he may raise his Cleric on a column of spray, or preserve him from drowning, if that be the will of Slid. <br /><br />And should the Cleric sing the Song of Slid, just as rivers and streams sing, it may pleaseth Slid, and beasts and men who hear the song may dance in joy, as waves dance upon the shore. <br /><br />Slid may command the waters of the sea and the courses of rivers, calling them or forestalling them. Slid may call a spring from the rock and watereth the hills with his blessings.</span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMt4nc5I8HsfKBlitTrIz-v8kC-EkRT7tNaiPAJ26rTJMIYq5T3bwUlEk17V_FqBVph7MB_i04vlCw2Jb_ib2Uhvy1gaNrG2BUi8noQyhK65rFg90UE8RHHOLInp7V9svbSnn5VsmVZHZB1XAmt8z2uBXhFi56csA-I0e2Z9C18B8kWuGMqEfFnOuFEDA/s1600/mung-by-sidney-sime.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1222" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMt4nc5I8HsfKBlitTrIz-v8kC-EkRT7tNaiPAJ26rTJMIYq5T3bwUlEk17V_FqBVph7MB_i04vlCw2Jb_ib2Uhvy1gaNrG2BUi8noQyhK65rFg90UE8RHHOLInp7V9svbSnn5VsmVZHZB1XAmt8z2uBXhFi56csA-I0e2Z9C18B8kWuGMqEfFnOuFEDA/w488-h640/mung-by-sidney-sime.jpg" width="488" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Mung - Sidney Sime<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">These are the Workings of the Clerics of Mung </span></h2><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Mung, Lord of All Deaths between Pegāna and the Rim </span></h2><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Mung walketh behind the Clerics of Mung, and his hand resteth upon them. It is an awful thing to know the presence of Mung. For men forget that one day they shall meet with Mung, but the Clerics of Mung know this to be true always, and neither sleep nor drunkenness nor age will remove the dread of Mung from their hearts. Thus, whatsoever garment a Cleric of Mung dons, and whatsoever their practices, the knowledge and dread of Mung is plain upon their features. <br /><br />Beasts and men mark the approach of a Cleric of Mung and know that Mung walketh behind, and know Fear in their hearts, and Terror at the Shadow of Mung. And the Fear and Terror of the Shadow of Mung maketh men blind, so that they flee heedlessly into the darkness, and may there meet with Mung. <br /><br />And sometimes Mung maketh the Sign of Mung, and those before the Cleric know Death. And sometimes he maketh not the Sign of Mung. It is a hard thing, and terrible, to be a Cleric of Mung. <br /><br />Yet the touch of a Cleric of Mung banishes Pain and Sorrow, for they flee when Mung appeareth. And also Pestilence, for where Mung is, Pestilence hath gone before. <br /><br />It may happen that Mung maketh the Sign of Mung before a Man, and the Life of the Man goes forth among the Worlds, but the body of the Man persisteth in movement and speech, as if it were a beast. This is an abomination unto Mung. <br /> </span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">There are no Workings of the Clerics of Limpang-Tung </span></h2><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Limpang-Tung, The God of Mirth and Melodious Minstrels</span></h2><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">There are no Clerics of Limpang-Tung, or perhaps every minstrel is his Cleric, and every joyful heart does his will. When darkness falls upon the heart of Man, and he is troubled, the playing of the harp may sooth and refresh him.</span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm6Xb1A9X74EJhp5QZsMFvmR93Y4a93uE_aFSsAOLElQ8LKeMy6SqXFtFaWV_giock8J7cYqh4AbhzXdtDlQlNLFuw3dboEEYmo_jNwF-ZkuQYOCqRzUo6IIKvf8JvqOYFkypDaZCln1tmmygxKqoXR1JCz-nu-jYmxY_GNT0QNG2M2jguVh5VYBaVPVU/s1920/5806313980_66d05a5445_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1920" data-original-width="1680" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm6Xb1A9X74EJhp5QZsMFvmR93Y4a93uE_aFSsAOLElQ8LKeMy6SqXFtFaWV_giock8J7cYqh4AbhzXdtDlQlNLFuw3dboEEYmo_jNwF-ZkuQYOCqRzUo6IIKvf8JvqOYFkypDaZCln1tmmygxKqoXR1JCz-nu-jYmxY_GNT0QNG2M2jguVh5VYBaVPVU/w560-h640/5806313980_66d05a5445_o.jpg" width="560" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Yoharneth-Lahai - Sidney Sime<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">These are the Workings of the Clerics of Yoharneth-Lahai </span></h2><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Yoharneth-Lahai, The God of Little Dreams and Fancies </span></h2><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />The Clerics of Yoharneth-Lahai are full of gladness, and their rest is untroubled. Soft are their robes and soft are their feet, and soft too are their words, for sleep is the field wherein Yoharneth-Lahai sports. <br /><br />The Cleric of Yoharneth-Lahai pray to direct the dreams of men, to send them pleasant repose or the Terror of the Shadow of Mung. Many secrets of the heart are known to the Clerics of Yoharneth-Lahai. <br /><br />Yoharneth-Lahai may set a veil before the eyes of Man, such that they may wonder whether they dream or wake. For in the desert, the Mirage is the dwelling-place of Yoharneth-Lahai. And some men are not troubled for long, for they say “This vision is but a passing fancy.” But some men grow quiet, and wonder if they live or dream, or if aught before their eyes has substance or mere appearance. <br /><br />Yoharneth-Lahai knows the desires of men, and may tell his Cleric if a man be just or unjust, wise or foolish. A lying tongue shall not avail a man before a Cleric of Yoharneth-Lahai. <br /><br />A Cleric of Yoharneth-Lahai may cry “Rest!” And the Man will rest, if it be the will of Yoharneth-Lahai. <br /><br /></span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">These are the Workings of the Clerics of Roon</span></h2><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Roon, the God of Going</span></h2><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Footsore are the Clerics of Roon, and strangers in any land, for they never cease to wander. Loath are they to return to a place or cross a threshold twice, save by a strange and winding road. Yet weariness is not in their limbs, nor the agony of toil, for Roon walks with them. <br /><br />Before the face of Man a Cleric of Roon may cry “Go!” And, if Roon so wills it, then shall go, and walk the Earth without rest, until they meet with Mung. And some may become Clerics of Roon on this journey, for the ways of Roon are long and arduous. <br /><br />Knowledge of paths and roads hath Roon, and of far-off lands and distant deeds. No lock may bar a Cleric of Roon, nor rope bind him, nor snare entrap him unless it is the will of Roon. <br /><br />The winds are subject to the word of Roon, and may be called up or sent away at the will or Roon. <br /><br />And the Cleric of Roon may walk upon the water as if it were land, or the air as if it were stone, should it please Roon. <br /><br /></span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">These are the Workings of the Clerics of Dorozhand</span></h2><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Dorozhand, Whose Eyes Regard the End</span></h2><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">All men are slaves of Dorozhand, but some are chosen for purposes known only to Dorozhand. A man may be a shepherd one day and a Cleric of Dorozhand the next, and knoweth it not. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">While Yoharneth-Lahai knoweth the secret of dreams and vain ambition, Dorozhand knoweth the secrets of times yet to come and times gone before, and the causes of things. Nothing save the secrets of MĀNA-YOOD-SUSHA̅I̅ is kept from Dorozhand. <br /><br />The knowledge of Dorozhand is terrible and true, and the Clerics of Dorozhand see much that they do not understand, or tremble to know. Great engines and the rustling of paper trouble the sleep of the Clerics of Dorozhand, and the Doom of Man, and the Last Fires, and the Slaying Mists, and other prophecies which the Clerics of Dorozhand keep from the ears of men lest they grow restless with foreknowledge. The fall of the dice of the gods sounds like thunder in the ears of a Cleric of Dorozhand, and they see what is writ thereon.<br /><br />Dorozhand may whisper in the ear of his Cleric, saying what will happen, whether it be the outcome of a great battle or the fall of a die. Or he may withhold his knowledge, for the schemes of Dorozhand are subtle. <br /><br />Dorozhand may make the Sign of Dorozhand before a man, that he may know both his beginning and his end, and all things between, and for what purpose he was made, and from whence sprang his joys and sorrows. And this knowledge crushes the Life of Man, as a millstone grinds meal. For Knowledge is the gift of Dorozhand, but never Hope. <br /><br />And it may come to pass that a Cleric of Dorozhand enters a new city in a foreign land and finds a table prepared for him, and knows that it is the will of Dorozhand. For when the Prophet Ṣalmu-āru walked in the desert, he found a stick to aid him in his weariness, and he gave praise to Dorozhand, who planted the seed that became the tree that grew the branch that fell to the ground in the path of the Prophet Ṣalmu-āru. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">But when the Prophet Ṣalmu-āru fell into a pit, he did not praise Dorozhand, though Dorozhand had stirred up the men to dig for riches in that place, and set clouds before the face of the moon. And Dorozhand waxed wroth, and the Prophet Ṣalmu-āru swiftly perished.</span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvIk9GG4bxMbixg9juok9ZE3bcJO1uM5MNnC4nUenoA0rKJB60kaD-O75YTCkyuXEeKeoYuFr8tvJWhSXKIqULaHINMjbIXDc0wZ6-vTATTQBaaGc5qgpzjsWFx_jyUeAhA1yQ47HRoxu6VKi-lZ-0omdqw_tQ_GUG_abnBgJ1xU2f8lz6WMJZvxu32Lw/s1920/5805754287_de047b6808_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1920" data-original-width="1419" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvIk9GG4bxMbixg9juok9ZE3bcJO1uM5MNnC4nUenoA0rKJB60kaD-O75YTCkyuXEeKeoYuFr8tvJWhSXKIqULaHINMjbIXDc0wZ6-vTATTQBaaGc5qgpzjsWFx_jyUeAhA1yQ47HRoxu6VKi-lZ-0omdqw_tQ_GUG_abnBgJ1xU2f8lz6WMJZvxu32Lw/w474-h640/5805754287_de047b6808_o.jpg" width="474" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">MĀNA-YOOD-SUSHA̅I̅ - Sidney Sime<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />And whether there be Clerics of Hish and Jabim and Bofa and Triboogie and all the other gods save one, Zoz saw not, but he knew that there were no clerics of MĀNA-YOOD-SUSHA̅I̅.</span></p>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-2469925603737764052024-01-03T14:20:00.000-07:002024-01-03T14:20:26.900-07:00 Tank Scratchbuild: Painting the Schneider FA <p><span style="font-family: arial;">In the previous posts (<a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/10/tank-scratchbuild-caterpillar-crawl.html">1</a>,<a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/11/tank-scratchbuild-schneider-fa.html">2</a>) I designed and scratchbuilt an alt-history interwar tank, the Scheider FA. Now, I've painted and weathered the tank. </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2kOn3ZjC6labl1EVcEEfZ3GgkOkhmU1xwHJgK-XeGgxNjkiEvz9VkA0WOPFq7z-rW5inHXZ3JJx2jysxeySkxfKIlVNPpuB6P6-ErnMS7V7fyv7NbTzLlisIX7-aQh9i6qjw0h4cPWvIe6vMEYhenl5ii_tfMZ-GoInruLaejVBpOpTgYSxhxM35AUTI/s2795/IMG_4076.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1311" data-original-width="2795" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2kOn3ZjC6labl1EVcEEfZ3GgkOkhmU1xwHJgK-XeGgxNjkiEvz9VkA0WOPFq7z-rW5inHXZ3JJx2jysxeySkxfKIlVNPpuB6P6-ErnMS7V7fyv7NbTzLlisIX7-aQh9i6qjw0h4cPWvIe6vMEYhenl5ii_tfMZ-GoInruLaejVBpOpTgYSxhxM35AUTI/w640-h300/IMG_4076.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I used the <a href="https://acrylicosvallejo.com/en/product/hobby/sets/afv-color-series/french-camo-colors-pre-war-and-wwii-71644/">French WWI and Interwar Camo set of airbrush paints from Vallejo</a> for the base colours. I marked out the camo areas with putty, put down a colour, waited for the putty to dry, then <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I wanted to use a canonical Schneider scheme for this tank, but interwar French camo schemes are not consistent or well-documented. After many hours of research, I decided to go with a made-up scheme, vaguely based on a <a href="https://tank-afv.com/ww1/fr/ww1-tank_schneider_CA.php">Schneider CA1 scheme</a> from 1918.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The black crosshatches near vision slits were meant to disguise their location from enemy snipers and anti-tank rifles.<br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimKnLZf_s4KTUCF6YdBriynnGyjiA0DUTrfenCyv1FHp7WKrNzEgwIF87Zcy1GfoY7mLYBwmY_C_WYnJGYaPDvQzd8KYmpx-cNPHfi6HAbBKIp-0S4p21tGQZtuveEMhjXJ60G1k0q_du0fqYES9w1T6bRcaRpSmohuwdXpzcPhNGmNdO61m9E9hk7Dos/s3357/IMG_4071.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1817" data-original-width="3357" height="346" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimKnLZf_s4KTUCF6YdBriynnGyjiA0DUTrfenCyv1FHp7WKrNzEgwIF87Zcy1GfoY7mLYBwmY_C_WYnJGYaPDvQzd8KYmpx-cNPHfi6HAbBKIp-0S4p21tGQZtuveEMhjXJ60G1k0q_du0fqYES9w1T6bRcaRpSmohuwdXpzcPhNGmNdO61m9E9hk7Dos/w640-h346/IMG_4071.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />The interior of the engine bay was primed with a dark red oxide primer, while the fighting compartment started with black primer, followed by a white layer, to create a few false shadows.</span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiau4Zd_aFlTuV3vhM0Zg5Yeg3Q4pw_qarTPMHcL4nhzRemdayZsTpeEutK_wGB_JIsXGEFI1rphqyFW4BUDbnqukaGmMCEYIVJScFL68kLKA9hv8bMAqE9T5Ok6Hjh2oBfBIXn5LXZ0JuyIDCNVEtXmtJAARIkNwysdP3XEPDMr3-GkHL7ir3Xe72J8GM/s3407/IMG_4073.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2024" data-original-width="3407" height="381" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiau4Zd_aFlTuV3vhM0Zg5Yeg3Q4pw_qarTPMHcL4nhzRemdayZsTpeEutK_wGB_JIsXGEFI1rphqyFW4BUDbnqukaGmMCEYIVJScFL68kLKA9hv8bMAqE9T5Ok6Hjh2oBfBIXn5LXZ0JuyIDCNVEtXmtJAARIkNwysdP3XEPDMr3-GkHL7ir3Xe72J8GM/w640-h381/IMG_4073.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The crew models fit inside perfectly. I'm glad the sculpted uniforms and helmets turned out. I need to touch up a few interior details, but I wanted to get the bulk of the tank assembled first.<br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWe4easMAFHZf7eCFXkkNOkydWCAc3gaiiNKkMipoXqyBOUA1-G8o1XMgv_BUwy0BD6Hw_nXqQHIcLYItlSQQWTPO-twEIVvWC66cGpc92ow6ZCtPzjOjKQZ26hheMazAjQAcT9BKyuV4HCEORamkQ_ye-rvMrFKo2ygu3GtJbQuhOdk6OuMs5nPkDuik/s2293/IMG_4074.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1876" data-original-width="2293" height="524" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWe4easMAFHZf7eCFXkkNOkydWCAc3gaiiNKkMipoXqyBOUA1-G8o1XMgv_BUwy0BD6Hw_nXqQHIcLYItlSQQWTPO-twEIVvWC66cGpc92ow6ZCtPzjOjKQZ26hheMazAjQAcT9BKyuV4HCEORamkQ_ye-rvMrFKo2ygu3GtJbQuhOdk6OuMs5nPkDuik/w640-h524/IMG_4074.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />Loader, commander, and gunner in the turret, driver, backup driver/radio operator, and backup loader/mechanic in the hull.</span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJyr4JutMgQIpxx_9zQrdxVfRzL31Fl7Y9WRLobUogzRAoER05IzPtbhJPNLyQhl6gomwhVvAkbMjbEVAsekn_wLkq95OiU9Q_gA42vcZljkhiZlD16T1GkymBk05cKVmdO-k24UjqrXqJIWyJNyl5_Ju_vEcDZifC855Jb2Ss9pD9JgkLKnJMjmBYrqw/s3446/IMG_4078.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1970" data-original-width="3446" height="366" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJyr4JutMgQIpxx_9zQrdxVfRzL31Fl7Y9WRLobUogzRAoER05IzPtbhJPNLyQhl6gomwhVvAkbMjbEVAsekn_wLkq95OiU9Q_gA42vcZljkhiZlD16T1GkymBk05cKVmdO-k24UjqrXqJIWyJNyl5_Ju_vEcDZifC855Jb2Ss9pD9JgkLKnJMjmBYrqw/w640-h366/IMG_4078.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Here's how the tank compares to two other classic French interwar tanks: the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Char_B1">Char B1</a> and the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Renault_FT">Renault FT</a>. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Char B1 was converted from the Tamiya B1 Bis kit to resemble the <a href="http://www.chars-francais.net/2015/index.php/liste-chronologique/de-1930-a-1940?task=view&id=6">Char B1 101 prototype</a> created as a partnership between Schneider and Renault. The twin machine turret seems to be a Schneider specialty, as it (or derivatives) crop up a few times in the literature. </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcyo_zWQjSjjDdTSyNVTosd2-Ee3vZb59A6FpKmjyHH-Rx1zaaEnvv55YTkfp16SsA4OaqSjSPLGcUdgjYFTiGMEkpLUHjpbQRMZAAB1W9dtqEyF4cA6apZqdNx-I70NONeFI9C91jp0CxI99Lc5po9eq5EY1tY-Td-0wxbyB-8VcTodUC8Uo2GwvMzaQ/s800/Screenshot%202023-11-02%20at%2001-54-40%20101%20ILE%20DE%20FRANCE.png" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="483" data-original-width="800" height="386" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcyo_zWQjSjjDdTSyNVTosd2-Ee3vZb59A6FpKmjyHH-Rx1zaaEnvv55YTkfp16SsA4OaqSjSPLGcUdgjYFTiGMEkpLUHjpbQRMZAAB1W9dtqEyF4cA6apZqdNx-I70NONeFI9C91jp0CxI99Lc5po9eq5EY1tY-Td-0wxbyB-8VcTodUC8Uo2GwvMzaQ/w640-h386/Screenshot%202023-11-02%20at%2001-54-40%20101%20ILE%20DE%20FRANCE.png" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7pt-OkzklQ8PrBiY6UmYWYhBIogt6rbMmNnSWONpUR_tF0Meh1BdV-mfqWggKbyykhqFG4pgYaOxuDeqatQ9NOVJ0kQP0F7ImzaK5b4XS2Qog1iuFUQDNKUrHac-DuhwpX6i4Ic5yu1Vq8W2v83YlZvGrlGUW7OnG4htLpAHHXPcDG7VJ-Mzg1CHty78/s800/Screenshot%202023-11-02%20at%2001-54-34%20101%20ILE%20DE%20FRANCE.png" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="574" data-original-width="800" height="460" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7pt-OkzklQ8PrBiY6UmYWYhBIogt6rbMmNnSWONpUR_tF0Meh1BdV-mfqWggKbyykhqFG4pgYaOxuDeqatQ9NOVJ0kQP0F7ImzaK5b4XS2Qog1iuFUQDNKUrHac-DuhwpX6i4Ic5yu1Vq8W2v83YlZvGrlGUW7OnG4htLpAHHXPcDG7VJ-Mzg1CHty78/w640-h460/Screenshot%202023-11-02%20at%2001-54-34%20101%20ILE%20DE%20FRANCE.png" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">The conversion involved replacing the engine deck, towing hook, and turret, as well as a few minor adjustments to the hull. <a href="http://panzerserra.blogspot.com/search/label/Char%20B1%20French%20heavy%20tank">This article from Panzerserra</a> was very helpful. You can see how a <i>good</i> modeler would tackle the project, instead of my ambitious but somewhat eccentric approach. </span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5n7CqH4wZ_N1Xm3F-4T2I_NMWaPJociTdbLwqDLLaifE6hXKsayA-FkXt0o2SrJ-ZCPhDodIDuhAorIEzK3G2Dn-i8x9zbYmwc1ioFaxxnvYR8H9f8_qml4szNLEP9W_Sjfe5FhtEhTBC1u4-suFlGcnqAIXDCO4uK7Cf-lQsfFzkfS6-74qf_JA8X7Y/s2804/IMG_4079.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2142" data-original-width="2804" height="488" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5n7CqH4wZ_N1Xm3F-4T2I_NMWaPJociTdbLwqDLLaifE6hXKsayA-FkXt0o2SrJ-ZCPhDodIDuhAorIEzK3G2Dn-i8x9zbYmwc1ioFaxxnvYR8H9f8_qml4szNLEP9W_Sjfe5FhtEhTBC1u4-suFlGcnqAIXDCO4uK7Cf-lQsfFzkfS6-74qf_JA8X7Y/w640-h488/IMG_4079.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">The turret was sculpted using apoxie sculpt over a bottle cap, then detailed with plasticard and wire.<br /></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzPfXr2jWR4WsGlZ-iAYoJa1msECtjvK8mNmreJyyXY-UK8ntkbqZRHJ0__CrSufvaf2521a82YINElthnKrfE7hEWmrC3Hncxi0enQBaqU7lZBfAc0NEPyeqOJGNB3VGKbo75ewv0O3JvXnvBUjtdwk2srwXVesEdn0JWpAJZmr4-GLE2eOD8eaN2XtE/s1820/IMG_4080.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1759" data-original-width="1820" height="618" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzPfXr2jWR4WsGlZ-iAYoJa1msECtjvK8mNmreJyyXY-UK8ntkbqZRHJ0__CrSufvaf2521a82YINElthnKrfE7hEWmrC3Hncxi0enQBaqU7lZBfAc0NEPyeqOJGNB3VGKbo75ewv0O3JvXnvBUjtdwk2srwXVesEdn0JWpAJZmr4-GLE2eOD8eaN2XtE/w640-h618/IMG_4080.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">The towing hook was built from wire, plasticard, and spare bits of photoetch brass.</span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibM9v2S0_-MnOP4uTNLDdpL6vYYs9jIBCJ-5LwI9VuaxgIXR-kzMSqrjqdj9m8icFojDfyOj69wdD-hp9_IbGkeLjUHg68wC-X49LZsrn52rN9YrGINoBElEmxLqQQtvWEl_vXvlzH1UwWjH1oIZ-C_8jWghDJN4h5ehUDjyA6QDkL6FAd4mBSokkfCW0/s1804/IMG_4082.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1804" data-original-width="1633" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibM9v2S0_-MnOP4uTNLDdpL6vYYs9jIBCJ-5LwI9VuaxgIXR-kzMSqrjqdj9m8icFojDfyOj69wdD-hp9_IbGkeLjUHg68wC-X49LZsrn52rN9YrGINoBElEmxLqQQtvWEl_vXvlzH1UwWjH1oIZ-C_8jWghDJN4h5ehUDjyA6QDkL6FAd4mBSokkfCW0/w580-h640/IMG_4082.JPG" width="580" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">The Renault FT is a superb kit from Meng. I didn't convert it at all, except to add some more stowage to the trench-crossing rail.</span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9Zce6ZKkklgjpT22464xgEbDJMoBzQfONSmR-cctZ7pbSVgepdsOoefjDxIx8EOhc77IuC2utj-zGHCPc6Ft3VZQ_RXM5yM4AhRMO1KG1005fgIWeaofUGY7nUZhAIaJ3hs_HW6wRcH7pENW9LS9uOHv1beAHsyZY5zHp4T3TSqOilwoQWXG9FAx8h9E/s3497/IMG_4083.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1801" data-original-width="3497" height="330" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9Zce6ZKkklgjpT22464xgEbDJMoBzQfONSmR-cctZ7pbSVgepdsOoefjDxIx8EOhc77IuC2utj-zGHCPc6Ft3VZQ_RXM5yM4AhRMO1KG1005fgIWeaofUGY7nUZhAIaJ3hs_HW6wRcH7pENW9LS9uOHv1beAHsyZY5zHp4T3TSqOilwoQWXG9FAx8h9E/w640-h330/IMG_4083.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"What's with the crudely painted yellow stars?" I hear you ask. You thought this post was just going to be tank pictures? Wrong! Time to learn. <br /></span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The European Civil War, Continued </span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Alternate history is a good excuse to learn about actual history, provided you start with a plausible end goal and don't take shortcuts. If you want to answer the question "Why Didn't X Happen?" you need to be able to explain "What Did Happen And Why." Since no historian has ever successfully managed this feat, you're in for a delightful exercise.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">To briefly summarize this alternate history (and to avoid overloading this post with citations and quotes), the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paris_Peace_Conference_(1919%E2%80%931920)">Paris Peace Conference</a> collapses in early 1919, partially due to the sudden death of President Wilson after the <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/11/kidnap-kaiser.html">kidnapping of Kaiser Wilhelm</a>. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_R._Marshall">President Marshall</a> is unwilling to enforce Wilson's vaguely explained <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourteen_Points#Text">Fourteen Points</a> by force, and even less willing to keep American troops in Europe. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_M._House">Colonel House</a> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Lansing">Secretary of State Lansing</a> are left to salvage the Peace Conference with only their economic and logistic support cards to play.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The prospect of renewed total war, on (as the public sees it) flimsy and bloodthirsty grounds, leads to mass desertion, unrest, and rebellion. The UK tries to extract her army from the continent to fight the spectre of Communism at home <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Russia_intervention">and abroad</a> (and very real uprisings in her colonies). France and Belgium attempt to <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occupation_of_the_Rhineland#Occupying_forces">garrison the Rhineland</a> with insufficient and demoralized troops. Grasping for an unambiguous victory to offset the moral opprobrium of the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blockade_of_Germany_(1914%E2%80%931919)">blockade</a>, the Kaiser's kidnapping, and the tragic muddle of the Conference, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Lloyd_George">Lloyd George</a> commits to "<a href="https://history.state.gov/historicaldocuments/frus1919Parisv03/d59">expelling the Turk from Europe,"</a> with catastrophic consequences in India, Syria, and elsewhere.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">These alternate 1920s are <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aftermath_of_World_War_I">at least as tumultuous</a> <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revolutions_of_1917%E2%80%931923">as the real world</a>, but with the added chaos of a divided France. Communist uprisings (including the Three Day Soviet of Paris), the militant National Front created by <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippe_P%C3%A9tain#End_of_WW1">Marshal Pétain</a> in the Rhineland, the battered <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_Third_Republic#Interwar_period">Third Republic</a>, and a variety of industrial/technocratic corporate states vie for control of France.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Western Europe becomes a mirror of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mexican_Revolution#">Mexico</a> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warlord_Era">China</a>, prompting <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Gunther">John Gunther</a> to write, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revolt_of_the_Czechoslovak_Legion">with some exaggeration</a>, that "An unbroken belt of warlordism stretches from Lisbon to Shanghai." </span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syndicalisme_jaune">Yellow Socialism</a>, <a href="https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eug%C3%A8ne_II_Schneider#">Eugene Schneider II</a>, and <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/files/57481/57481-h/57481-h.htm">The War That Will End Peace</a><br /></span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syndicalisme_jaune">Yellow Socialism</a>, or Syndicalisme Jaune, sought to avoid dreaded Communism, <a href="https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Histoire_industrielle_des_Schneider#Les_conflits_sociaux">or any form of collective bargaining</a>,
by the creation of corporate-funded (and essentially domesticated)
unions. The movement (if it can be called that) was created and largely funded by <a href="https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eug%C3%A8ne_II_Schneider#">Eugene Schneider II</a>. Incidentally, you may notice <i>very </i>different tones in the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellow_socialism">English</a> and <a href="https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syndicalisme_jaune">French</a> Wikipedia articles on the topic. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Eugene Scheider II was also interested in <a href="https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Histoire_industrielle_des_Schneider#Entre-deux-guerres">empire-building</a>. In this alt history, he makes the leap from building with capital backed by state power to building with capital backed by borrowed state power. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_Creusot">Le Creusot</a> and <span><span class="wEvh0b"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rh%C3%B4ne">Rhône</a> basin </span></span>pay lip-service to whatever central government is currently recognized. A shadow-state,<a href="https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ch%C3%A2teau_de_la_Verrerie_(Sa%C3%B4ne-et-Loire)#/media/Fichier:Le_Creusot_-_musee_verrerie_panorama.jpg"> more flamboyant than most</a>.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Total_war">Total war</a> proved to be <a href="https://acoup.blog/2021/08/20/collections-teaching-paradox-victoria-ii-part-ii-the-ruin-of-war/">unprofitable</a> for everyone; almost as unprofitable as total peace.<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Excess_profits_tax"> Laws capturing excess profit </a>(and were) circumvented by investing in capital, which was not taxed. All that built-up capital in factories, machine tools, raw goods, and skilled labour would go to waste (or require costly readjustments, or be sold below its war-inflated purchase price) if the threat of war vanished completely. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">There is a limit on what the consumer will pay for a refrigerator, even if it is stuffed with features. It's a big box that makes things cold. Diminishing returns kick in. But if there is a development limit on a "kill-someone-waaaay-over-there-machine" we have yet to reach it.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The most desirable state, from the perspective of post-WW1 industrial conglomerates, seems to be peace at home (the circumscribed model factory-home, where wages pass through a worker like rented beer), a lopsided peace with major trading partners, war scares on the borders, and a few wars in unprofitable and unsympathetic parts of the world to serve as testbeds, advertisements, training, and cautionary tales. That this system, in this alt-history thought experiment, accidentally slipped into warlordism cannot be surprising.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Eugene Schneider II seemed to want to create a model community to match his ideology, like Henry Ford's <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fordl%C3%A2ndia#History">Fordlandia</a> or Pullman's <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pullman,_Chicago">Pullman</a>. In this alt-history, he added an army to defend it.<br /></span></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">These
two hundred men, the cream of financial France, are an amazing
plutocracy. They are as snobbish as a vintage sardine or a Rue de la
Paix hat. Mere wealth cannot buy its way into this velvety inner
circle. The two most flagrantly conspicuous of modern French
millionaires, Coty the perfume man, Citroen the automobile manufacturer,
were not members of what is customarily called merely the ‘oligarchy’.
The chosen insiders combine the 6hereditary distinction of family as
well as the contemporary command of wealth. They rise straight from
pre-Revolutionary times; they were the upper bourgeoisie during
Napoleon; they worked together, consolidated their power under Louis
Philippe and Napoleon III. The last person really ‘taken in’ by the
oligarchy is supposed to have been Eugene Schneider, the steel and arms
merchant, about thirty years ago. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-<a href=" https://archive.org/details/in.ernet.dli.2015.186570/page/n189/mode/2up"><i>John Gunther, Inside Europe, 1940, pg. 167</i></a>.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The
root of the munitions problem is the fact that only highly
industrialized countries can profitably manufacture appreciable
quantities of arms. These countries sell to those less industrialized.
Ninety eight per cent of the total arms exports of the world comes from
ten countries; about sixty-five per cent comes from Great Britain, the
United States, France, and Sweden, the four greatest exporting
countries. France, typified by Schneider-Creusot, supplied in 1932 no
less than 27.9 per cent of the world’s total output of arms.<br /><br />Schneider-Creusot,
like all great arms companies, is several things — an arms firm, a
myth, a steel works, a microcosm of the munitions industry, a national
institution, a nightmare to pacifists, an idol to patriots, a military
necessity to more than one country, and a whale of a good business. The
directors of Schneider and the other firms in the Comite des Forges
which do munitions business are quite mild-mannered gentlemen. They do
not seem ferocious; but their business is the invention, manufacture,
and sale of implements of death.<br /><br />The arms companies are as
incestuous as white mice. They play together and breed. This is because
they are in a signal sense noncompetitive; good business for one means
good business for the others; obviously if Schneider, say, gets a big
order from Country X, other companies will have a better chance of
business from Country Y, which is X’s unfriendly neighbor. As soon as
one country buys a new military invention, other countries must buy it
also. Arms firms may underbid one another for a contract in a single
state; but internationally they all stand to gain.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Extraordinarily
interrelated and intertwined, the arms firms lace the whole world in
their net. Schneider and Vickers were connected through <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basil_Zaharoff">Sir Basil Zaharoff</a>, munitions salesman extraordinary. Schneider controls <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C5%A0koda_Works">Skoda</a>,
the great Czechoslovak munitions firm, through a French holding
company, the Union Européenne. An allied bank finances a big Hungarian
bank, which provides loans for Schneider sales. The Schneider interests
are believed to control an Austrian bank also, which is interested in
the chief Austrian steel company, the Alpine Montangesellschaft. But
the Alpine concern is ‘owned’ by the German Steel Trust! And through a
Dusseldorff firm, Rheinmetall, Schneider is believed to be linked to
Krupp. <br /><br />It is, of course, an old story that arms firms maintain
an extreme political impartiality in their business. They sell to each
side in any war. They sell to friend and foe alike. Pluck a bullet out
of the heart of a British boy shot on the North-west Frontier, and
like as not you will find it of British make. <a href="https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Faure">Paul Faure</a>,
deputy in the French chamber, is in possession of photographs showing
representatives of Turkey and Bulgaria buying arms at Creusot before the
War which during the War were used against French troops; he has also a
precious picture of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eug%C3%A8ne_Schneider_II">Eugene Schneider</a>
on a yachting party with the Ex-Kaiser Wilhelm. French munition
traffickers helped arm Abdel-Krim in his Morocco campaign against the
French. The Turks used British cannon to beat the British at the
Dardanelles; British battleships were sunk by British mines. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-<a href="https://archive.org/details/in.ernet.dli.2015.186570/page/n193/mode/2up ">John Gunther, <i>Inside Europe</i>, 1940, pp. 172-173</a></span></p></blockquote><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjDaBJ9WMzyz3ECvje34KOGifZ8sQN1YbUHdUcAYGLp_DtwjgUQl7fooaOH1pu5xsHwBzAEvl9qOfyzVweLQYYttb9asvUSvXDDavwCtHL7WnyyyKqzpfDgxLqy22pT5yjnhPd5_qL8diz_ddydB8_KNsRIZP3ZgV61FNIw_VEcVyhGcaGxN6Ux1Uzmi8/s2398/IMG_4084.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2398" data-original-width="1944" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjDaBJ9WMzyz3ECvje34KOGifZ8sQN1YbUHdUcAYGLp_DtwjgUQl7fooaOH1pu5xsHwBzAEvl9qOfyzVweLQYYttb9asvUSvXDDavwCtHL7WnyyyKqzpfDgxLqy22pT5yjnhPd5_qL8diz_ddydB8_KNsRIZP3ZgV61FNIw_VEcVyhGcaGxN6Ux1Uzmi8/w518-h640/IMG_4084.JPG" width="518" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Management and paternalism<br /><br />Whilst
capitalising on technical innovations and diversifying the productions
(steel, iron ships military machine guns, tanks and artillery, then
electricity and civil nuclear power), each generation of Schneider
contributed to extending the factories and improving the town’s urban
development.<br /><br />In addition to their economic achievements, the
Schneiders developed Le Creusot into a model industrial community by
introducing a paternalistic policy and enforcing it in all aspects of
the workers daily lives: housing, education, recreation, healthcare.
Their visionary, philanthropic business model was paternalistic in the
sense that the Schneiders provided employees decent and affordable
houses, amenities, welfare provisions and overall improved living
conditions. They shaped the town’s architecture and at the same time,
ruled the economic and social life of Le Creusot. . Within a few years,
they acquired a worldwide reputation and hosted many visits from
customers and Heads of States from France and around the world.<br /><br />Until
today, Le Creusot celebrates the memory of the Schneider family, the
paternalistic leadership and culture they left behind. Doted around
town, a series of statues immortalize each of the iron masters, while
streets and working-class districts echo their names. Boulevard
Henri-Paul Schneider for example is named after a tragically lost family
child, or the miners’ district called Jean and Françoise Schneider.
Throughout town, you will find evocative street names that plunge us
back to industrial times.<br /><br />To get a deeper insight into this
charismatic family of iron masters and understand the scale of their
impact on Le Creusot, a visit to the Chateau de la Verrerie, their
former residence, is highly recommended!</span></blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">-<a href=" https://www.creusotmontceautourisme.fr/en/discover/le-creusot/a-rich-industrial-past/history-of-le-creusot/the-schneider-family">Creusot Montceau Tourisme</a> (accessed 2024/01/02)<br /></span></blockquote><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5ZWtDA0GIegGinfD835kBy8Jf3HDryMVa5Qkje1PXwycpL4oh4iBASCPhsbHqTX2ZoT5ghVqulBLnAmY9eudE44RrzW-tTRtM1d5rR8IeS5iB-E4b5n9bKYvDkvJFGQslK3E55d205GXVsRAWtNKLsWbh5-tcIVvGBwa4lCgUVOXt7HeQLP_6g74UTsI/s1668/flammenwerfer.png" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1668" data-original-width="1182" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5ZWtDA0GIegGinfD835kBy8Jf3HDryMVa5Qkje1PXwycpL4oh4iBASCPhsbHqTX2ZoT5ghVqulBLnAmY9eudE44RrzW-tTRtM1d5rR8IeS5iB-E4b5n9bKYvDkvJFGQslK3E55d205GXVsRAWtNKLsWbh5-tcIVvGBwa4lCgUVOXt7HeQLP_6g74UTsI/w454-h640/flammenwerfer.png" width="454" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wipers_Times">The Wipers Times<br /></a>aka<br />Tumblr Shitposts (1916 edition)<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Further Reading:</b><br /></span><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>'European Diplomacy Between Two Wars, 1919-1939'</i>, (1972), Quadrangle.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="'The Secret International: Armament Firms At Work' (1932), "><i>'The Secret International: Armament Firms At Work' </i>(1932), The Union of Democratic Control.</a><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: top;"><br /></span></span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: arial; vertical-align: top;">Fredrick Manning, '</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: arial; vertical-align: top;"><i>Her Privates We',</i> 1930, Serpent's Tail Classics. (Which, as an aside, contains the first appearance of the phrase <a href="https://greensdictofslang.com/entry/6n5vxuq">"fucked up"</a> in print.)</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Harold Nicholson, <i>'Peacemaking 1919'</i>, (1933), Constable.</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: arial; vertical-align: top;">Papers Relating to the Foreign Relations of the United States, The Paris Peace Conference, 1919 (1942), particularly <a href="https://history.state.gov/historicaldocuments/frus1919Parisv03">Vol. 3</a>.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Jamie Camplin, <i>'The Rise of the Plutocrats: Wealth and Power in Edwardian England'</i>, (1978), Constable. <br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://archive.org/details/in.ernet.dli.2015.186570/page/n1/mode/2up">John Gunther, <i>'Inside Europe</i>', (1940), Harper & Brothers</a>.</span></li><li><a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/10444" style="font-family: arial;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: top;">Robert Lansing, 'The Peace Negotiations', (1921), </span><span class="publisher">Houghton, Mifflin Co.</span></a> </li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">William A. Schabas, <i>'The Trial of the Kaiser'</i> (2018), Oxford. <br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Samuel Kalman, <i>'The Extreme Right in Interwar France: The Faisceau and the Croix de Feu',</i> (2008), Routledge. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Modris Eksteins, 'Rites of Spring: The Great War and the Birth of the Modern Age', (1989), Lester, & Orpen Dennys. <br /></span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: arial; vertical-align: top;">James E. Sheridan, <i>China in Disintegration</i>: <i>The Republican Era in Chinese History, 1912-1949</i>, (1975), Macmillan.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://archive.org/details/in.ernet.dli.2015.126376/page/n3/mode/2up">John Gunther, <i>'Inside Asia</i>', (1939), Harper & Brothers</a>.<span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: top;"> <br /></span></span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: arial; vertical-align: top;">Edward A. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: arial; vertical-align: top;">McCord, <i>'</i></span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: arial; vertical-align: top;"><i>The Power of the Gun: The Emergence of Modern Chinese Warlordism'</i> (1993), University of California Press.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Carol Willcox Melton, <i>'Between War and Peace: Woodrow Wilson and the American Expeditionary Force in Siberia, 1918-1921</i><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: top;"><i>'</i>, (2001), Mercer University Press.</span></span></li></ul><p><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: arial; vertical-align: top;">I am also working through:<br /></span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://archive.org/details/isbn_9782246725312/mode/2up"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: top;">Elvire de </span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: top;"><a href="https://archive.org/details/isbn_9782246725312/mode/2up">Brissac, <i>'Il était une fois les Schneider : 1871-1942'</i>, (2007), Grasset.</a></span><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: top;"> </span></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://archive.org/details/lespatronsetlapo0000garr/mode/2up"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: top;">Jean </span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: top;"><a href="https://archive.org/details/lespatronsetlapo0000garr/mode/2up">Garrigues, 'Les patrons et la politique : de Schneider à Seillière', (2002), Perrin</a>.</span></span></li></ul><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: arial; vertical-align: top;">And knocking billowing clouds of rust off my French in the process. </span></p>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-23623745978037717962023-12-20T10:33:00.000-07:002023-12-20T10:33:20.322-07:00OSR: The Monster Overhaul is the Best RPG of 2023 (according to some people)<p><span style="font-family: arial;">According to <a href="https://www.geeknative.com/163491/the-best-selling-fantasy-rpgs-published-on-drivethrurpg-in-2023/">this list from GeekNative</a>, <b><i><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/02/osr-monster-overhaul-megapost.html">The Monster Overhaul</a> </i></b>was the 6th bestselling fantasy RPG on DriveThruRPG in 2023.<br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9_rhzLddFGoE9Q0CNAKmVZPgWtJHHDzaQtlqvamY491dGIRoIcw7X4X-Sxp4lr4TPcNjh3hJnhmlIJH8LukqVp6KXH_E7rB0Hd0YJ5VUMHCf48QqsXRtUjJjGzqI_8htT24jnrbWVVD5dkXs42tdgO_lQ_bBDek7JoHJmitcfmScsmwJpiLygUOH3inw/s709/Screenshot%202023-12-19%20at%2018-40-09%20The%20best%20selling%20fantasy%20RPGs%20published%20on%20DriveThruRPG%20in%202023.png" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="589" data-original-width="709" height="533" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9_rhzLddFGoE9Q0CNAKmVZPgWtJHHDzaQtlqvamY491dGIRoIcw7X4X-Sxp4lr4TPcNjh3hJnhmlIJH8LukqVp6KXH_E7rB0Hd0YJ5VUMHCf48QqsXRtUjJjGzqI_8htT24jnrbWVVD5dkXs42tdgO_lQ_bBDek7JoHJmitcfmScsmwJpiLygUOH3inw/w640-h533/Screenshot%202023-12-19%20at%2018-40-09%20The%20best%20selling%20fantasy%20RPGs%20published%20on%20DriveThruRPG%20in%202023.png" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">That's astonishing, considering the other works on the list! I'm delighted that people are enjoying the book. <br /></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I don't run advertisements or manage a marketing campaign for my books. <i>The Monster Overhaul</i> relies on word-of-mouth recommendations and unsolicited reviews. I'm grateful to everyone who's taken the time to recommend the book, talk about it on a podcast, review it on youtube, post about it on whatever forms of social media remain, order it at their local game store, or shout about it from the rooftops. </span><span style="font-family: arial;">After many years of work, it's amazing to see the book out in the real world, helping GMs everywhere.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKryvG_y_J5Y3yJ8ClQQRZkB1AbgQjeIqYGEaeJgbp6J2jqQ6HyKHGXJXyBoSuB2tKqNp510Hw1kvbGv7Z96pLImYxbqguJJ48sX0RcIe5A5X0sEg1BKArb41WktS7gRphFOJhWzYP8QLwGpQd7ILasxHFPVvke1AmXKoV-ol61TgM-DS7oCUowiwxWnA/s757/Monster%20Overhaul%20Cover%20Small.png" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="757" data-original-width="680" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKryvG_y_J5Y3yJ8ClQQRZkB1AbgQjeIqYGEaeJgbp6J2jqQ6HyKHGXJXyBoSuB2tKqNp510Hw1kvbGv7Z96pLImYxbqguJJ48sX0RcIe5A5X0sEg1BKArb41WktS7gRphFOJhWzYP8QLwGpQd7ILasxHFPVvke1AmXKoV-ol61TgM-DS7oCUowiwxWnA/w574-h640/Monster%20Overhaul%20Cover%20Small.png" width="574" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><p></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://www.polygon.com/23989775/best-tabletop-rpgs-2023">Polygon</a>: The best tabletop RPGs we played in 2023
</span></h2><p id="kVKjsu"><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/07/osr-monster-overhaul-is-now-available.html" style="font-family: arial;"><em></em></a></p><blockquote><p id="kVKjsu"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/07/osr-monster-overhaul-is-now-available.html"><em>The Monster Overhaul</em></a>, by <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/">Skerples</a>,
reimagines not just the monsters, but the very notion of what a
bestiary can and should be. The book is divided into 20 categories, each
containing 10 critters that hew to a theme. The categories are unusual:
There is “Dragons,” of course, but also “Summer” and “A Wizard Did It.”
“Summer” monsters include the Froghemoth and Pyromancers. Some of these
may sound similar to classic D&D monsters, others are entirely new.
Tables galore help build and flesh out encounters. “Summer” has a set
of generic swamp hexes; other entries have lairs and dungeons. There is
an entire flowchart table for populating a megadungeon. Every page of
this book is designed to make the reader think about monsters, how to
make them feel new, or to recontextualize them, or to simply subvert
player expectations. Like all great RPG supplements, <em>The Monster Overhaul</em>
not only offers answers for these questions and more, it also teaches
the reader how to continue answering them long after these published
tables and suggestions are exhausted. A monstrous achievement that
should be on every GM’s shelf.</span></p><div id="XfKa47" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: arial;"><b>-<a href="https://www.instagram.com/vintagerpg/">Stu Horvath</a>,</b> founder and publisher of <a href="https://unwinnable.com/">Unwinnable</a>, author of <a href="https://mitpress.mit.edu/9780262048224/monsters-aliens-and-holes-in-the-ground/">Monsters, Aliens, and Holes in the Ground</a></span></div></blockquote><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://player.fm/series/cockatrice-nuggets-a-dd-podcast/cn230-best-rpg-books-of-2023">Cockatrice Nuggets CN230</a>: Best RPG Books of 2023<br /></span></h2><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">This might be my favorite release for 2023. I have gotten more use out of this book than most of the things I have bought this year. I have gotten more use out of this book than probably the 5E Monster Manual, and I ran 5E for a long time. This book is not just monsters. [...] The way this book is put together makes a lot of sense to me. The stuff that's in here! Most of these monsters have a lair attached with them. If they don't have a lair they have something else. [...] There is so much good stuff in this book that I keep coming back to it. This is my new monster manual. When I want a monster, I come here first. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-Rich Fraser</span></p></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;"> If you're not sure what this book is all about, check out the <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/02/osr-monster-overhaul-megapost.html">megapost</a>.<br /></span></p><h3 id="XfKa47"><a href="https://mitpress.mit.edu/9780262048224/monsters-aliens-and-holes-in-the-ground/" style="font-family: arial;"><em></em></a>
</h3>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-56699750308587310022023-12-11T17:17:00.002-07:002023-12-20T10:41:51.324-07:00OSR: Rereading OD&D: Normal Men, Hobbitouison, and the Orcian Way<p><span style="font-family: arial;">If you want a cleaned-up modernized one-volume OD&D rules set, <a href="https://thefantasticisfact.blogspot.com/2023/12/getting-started-with-od.html">you have a lot of options these days</a>, but the original texts, without the benefits of decades of polish and revision, are well worth analyzing. <br /></span></p><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/11/osr-rereading-od-back-to-start.html">The previous post</a> has been described as full of "<a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/za/podcast/582-willful-misreadings-of-d-d/id1494636468?i=1000637308097">wilful misunderstandings and wilful misreadings</a>" of OD&D. It's not. Well, not completely. It's textual analysis; not what you <i>think </i>the text says, or what you think the text <i>should </i>say, but what it <i>does </i>say. (What the text <i>means </i>is an entirely different and equally perilous question.) It's an analysis that wilfully ignores <i>Chainmail, The Strategic Review, </i>other publications, and decades of analysis, and concentrates solely on <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dungeons_%26_Dragons_(1974)">the three LBBs</a>.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuqMOs2K2bunqo9yy04tMTvfYYL3NXW2jZ3Gwt4_p0VEqisjrAw65ofGOEAgS7AtjDvw2kirJzdXAbyBJxsBHatSGsXwmCUqfB4qrGEwOCidHwMAHmUIsKn68uv1RkdLb_0Lbh54EVDPhoQYDy7u0v8zjzwP_jqDM1bmpyaOwkzBOsSk8MjKocy6ojNcE/s1313/stepan-alekseev-03.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1313" data-original-width="1024" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuqMOs2K2bunqo9yy04tMTvfYYL3NXW2jZ3Gwt4_p0VEqisjrAw65ofGOEAgS7AtjDvw2kirJzdXAbyBJxsBHatSGsXwmCUqfB4qrGEwOCidHwMAHmUIsKn68uv1RkdLb_0Lbh54EVDPhoQYDy7u0v8zjzwP_jqDM1bmpyaOwkzBOsSk8MjKocy6ojNcE/w500-h640/stepan-alekseev-03.jpg" width="500" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.artstation.com/chosac">Stepan Alekseev</a></td></tr></tbody></table><br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">Take the issue of magic-users wearing non-magical armour from the <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/11/osr-rereading-od-back-to-start.html">previous post</a>. A GM familiar with the <a href="https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArmorAndMagicDontMix">fantasy trope</a> of a robed, bearded, and unarmoured wizard might say, "Obviously OD&D Magic-Users shouldn't wear armour." </span></div><div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">A GM who's skimmed the rules might say, "The rules say Magic-Users can't wear mundane armour" and not worry about the grammatical details.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">But a close reading of the text suggest that yes, in the rules, <a href="http://www.thefantasygame.org/2011/05/research-od-magic-users-in-arms-and.html">Magic-Users<i> </i>in OD&D <i>can</i> wear non-magical armour</a>. Was this intentional or an oversight? Who knows. But it's in the text. And now a GM who's read the rules can say, "That's silly. Magic-Users can't wear armour" or "Perhaps there's a reason the rules let Magic-Users wear mundane armour?" <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The rules are not the game. They are tools to create the game. They are not laws or proscriptions. You can (and should!) adjust, interpret, or ignore them. These OD&D examination posts are not advocating for blindly following a non-traditional and/or nonsensical interpretation of the rules; they're an exploration of possible interpretations, overlooked aspects, or amusing incongruities. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">If the LBBs were religious texts, there would be wars over whether or not Hobbits could be resurrected. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homoiousian ">Hobbitiouisian</a> vs <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homoousion">Hobbitouison</a>.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Yes, interpreting the ambiguous units in OD&D to allow Magic-Users to create <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/11/osr-rereading-od-back-to-start.html">a titanic <span>10'x100'x240'</span> Wall of Stone</a> is unusual... but it is, just barely, an interpretation supported by the text. Of course, most GMs would
entertain the idea for a few seconds, decide "that's silly", and choose
the equally supported, probably intended, and far more sensible units, but it's still a
valid interpretation that might lead to a very interesting campaign and setting. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Finally, these articles are not advice, in the same way that saying, "<a href="https://nordicfoodlab.wordpress.com/2014/01/07/2013-9-blood-and-egg/">Blood can be used as a substitute for eggs</a>" does not mean, "You should make blood-flavoured cupcakes for your next office party." <br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMMelIGMiGXOc6mSghWXqNSHqgnPMmChCqfCS2-qt7CjcqOV-GLJ0T2w569Q_mRBcHvosbPwvQrZ81UL2yhUYpgVgs4PlHDCkCTrplFi3-Br4p0aEiYBnhZaYCksSMt8ec9x_9XKGAPy1qzR-Z_eJkb-Y0k2A13ID5T0dJhOKY2VtECI-Q69P8VzzZCr4/s911/Turn%20Undead%20(2).png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="797" data-original-width="911" height="560" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMMelIGMiGXOc6mSghWXqNSHqgnPMmChCqfCS2-qt7CjcqOV-GLJ0T2w569Q_mRBcHvosbPwvQrZ81UL2yhUYpgVgs4PlHDCkCTrplFi3-Br4p0aEiYBnhZaYCksSMt8ec9x_9XKGAPy1qzR-Z_eJkb-Y0k2A13ID5T0dJhOKY2VtECI-Q69P8VzzZCr4/w640-h560/Turn%20Undead%20(2).png" width="640" /></a></div><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Reading Turn Undead</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">There's not much to read. The image above is everything presented in OD&D. It's one of the most notoriously confusing rules in the booklets. (<a href="https://thealexandrian.net/wordpress/7849/roleplaying-games/reactions-to-odd-turns-rounds-and-segments-oh-my">The most confusing is, of course, what a "turn" is</a>, but that's a different sort of turn.)</span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">The general belief is that the Turn Undead ability arose in the Blackmoor campaign, <a href="http://boggswood.blogspot.com/2015/07/clerics-of-blackmoor.html">where we known the cleric was created</a>, so priests could function as vampire hunters. If it is true the turn undead ability was a Twin Cities thing, it would explain why the normally verbose Mr. Gygax said virtually nothing about turn undead in the 3lbb’s. <br />-<a href="http://boggswood.blogspot.com/2014/08/turn-undead-are-we-getting-it-wrong.html">DHBoggs, Hidden in the Shadows </a></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The general consensus is that "turned away" was intended by Arneson to mean "held at a set distance from the Cleric" rather than "compelled to flee."</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIfeSXJXTSvOAKzjKWoThCe7glv4pJlNgljRoRoTZU4jUrNWJYQmQwaeH7P8xNM5xsN8gmq3Vx2SsE-D0pMGhFvqAkrhlpp-xSdWzV2tG-uLfbmkVYaDkl1n-CImFbdtebLCq3chNDbBn6TnOQefIegHwtILyvR4rIOoTpTFXLeHwDNrSLhHBa3DTrYjI/s640/tumblr_84d3c475421d3e75f2ecaf184d3a6659_10986ef3_640.gif" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIfeSXJXTSvOAKzjKWoThCe7glv4pJlNgljRoRoTZU4jUrNWJYQmQwaeH7P8xNM5xsN8gmq3Vx2SsE-D0pMGhFvqAkrhlpp-xSdWzV2tG-uLfbmkVYaDkl1n-CImFbdtebLCq3chNDbBn6TnOQefIegHwtILyvR4rIOoTpTFXLeHwDNrSLhHBa3DTrYjI/w400-h300/tumblr_84d3c475421d3e75f2ecaf184d3a6659_10986ef3_640.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viy_(1967_film)" style="font-family: arial;">Viy (1967)</a><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;">By that interpretation, Arneson's Turn Undead functions a bit like Gygax's spell "Protection from Evil". <br /></span><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Protection from Evil: This spell hedges the conjurer round with a magic circle to keep out attacks from enchanted monsters. <i>-Men & Magic</i><br /></span></p></blockquote><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: arial;">How often it can be used, and what it the ability requires, are up to the GM, as the books provide no guidance. "Once per round..." or "Once per set of undead..." and "Instead of attacking, while brandishing a holy symbol..." are traditional, but they're not suggested by the text (except, arguably, in the Vampire monster entry.)<br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: arial;">It is also possible to interpret "Clerics vs. Undead Monsters" and its proximity to the spell tables to mean that whenever a Cleric casts a spell (and at no other time), they make a roll on the table and turn away/destroy nearby undead. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: arial;"></span><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: arial;">The rules <a href="http://www.oddwiring.com/projects/FredsWorld/Circa1989/ClericSupplement_1989.pdf">proposed by Fred Funk</a> make a lot of sense to me, if you're looking to expand OD&D. At low levels, Turn Undead protects the Cleric, not the party.<span><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Additionally, beginning at 7th level, the creatures that are affected, either by a successful roll, or natural talent, give ground at the rate of 5 ft./level of cleric, a radius on the cleric. As an example, when Macduff reaches 7th level, the Skeletons and Zombies that he turns will stay at least 35 ft away from him at all times, and so would a Specter, on a roll of 16 or better. This enables him to extend protection to members of his party. -<i>Fred's World: the Clerical Companion</i><br /></span></blockquote></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: large;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8u9z1hEEkS3yYcssI2VJ__4bq5WbOSmD4GX9HCVU2Zcvi62Z5pvdpzcT3Bv-FTRPa-Hr2sCeaCHuXO1X61zbBCLBcXKoIaYDxX1HfzE6ATIso7HsbE-Yl3dSr8e1LN63PkTNp3lDWlP-u4jOkwjLD8IK0GbY6utZ69elpLAUJupC1JW0gxet9S7IkkkE/s1953/bogdan-rezunenko-ktrryfqn.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1953" data-original-width="1920" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8u9z1hEEkS3yYcssI2VJ__4bq5WbOSmD4GX9HCVU2Zcvi62Z5pvdpzcT3Bv-FTRPa-Hr2sCeaCHuXO1X61zbBCLBcXKoIaYDxX1HfzE6ATIso7HsbE-Yl3dSr8e1LN63PkTNp3lDWlP-u4jOkwjLD8IK0GbY6utZ69elpLAUJupC1JW0gxet9S7IkkkE/w630-h640/bogdan-rezunenko-ktrryfqn.jpg" width="630" /></a></div><br /></span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><h2><span style="font-family: arial;">Misreading "Turn Undead"</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It's possible to misread "turn undead" as "turn <i>into </i>an undead creature." This interpretation is<b> </b><i>not<b> </b></i>supported by the text, which clearly states "monster turned away," among other clues. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It still happened (though I think it was in AD&D...). It's very silly, but hand-on-heart, it happened. I can't find other stories mentioning it on the internet, but I'm sure it was a relatively common misinterpretation, especially among young and enthusiastic gamers who only read their character sheets and not the rulebooks. "Turn" as in "turned to stone" is more common than the LBB usage of "turn" as "deflect", as in "turn aside" or "<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ezekiel+33%3A10-12&version=KJV">turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways</a>."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">There's a table of monsters and hit dice corresponding to your Cleric's level. Lycanthropes are in the game. Clerics could be... Thanatothropes? <br /></span></p><span style="font-family: arial;">So a level 6 Cleric (a Bishop) could turn into a Vampire on an 11+, a Spectre on a 9+, a Mummy on a 7+, and Wight or a Wraith automatically, but they'd be destroyed if they tried to transform into a weak undead like a Ghoul, Zombie, or Skeleton. <br /><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Below level 7, Clerics don't have to pick an Alignment (see below). Undead are aligned with Chaos, so presumably a Law or Neutrality Cleric who turns into an Undead creature (by this method, by vampirism, etc.) also changes their alignment to Chaos, but below level 7 this does not necessarily make them an evil Cleric. <br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Is this a one-time effect, for a set
number of rounds, an at-will ability like the Vampire's gaseous/bat
form, or until sunrise? Who knows. It's <i>very </i>silly. In OD&D,
Lycanthropes don't have any folkloric guidance on when, or even if, they
change shape (in contrast with the Vampire entry's detailed rules), so
we can't use that as a guide.<br /><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Evil Minions and Chaotic Leaders<span><br /></span></span></h2></div><blockquote><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Note that Clerics of 7th level and greater are either "Law" or "Chaos",
and there is a sharp distinction between them. If a Patriarch receiving
the above benefits changes sides, all the benefits will immediately be
removed! <i>-Men & Magic </i></span><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></div></blockquote><div style="text-align: left;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Anti-Clerics: Evil Acolyte, Evil Adept, Shaman, Evil Priest, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxL2ATsXg6A">Evil Curate</a>, Evil<br />Bishop, Evil Lama, Evil High Priest. <i>-Men & Magic</i></span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;"></span><span style="font-family: arial;"><blockquote>Character Alignment, Including Various Monsters and Creatures: Before the game begins it is not only necessary to select a role, but it is also necessary to determine what stance the character will take - Law, Netrality, or Chaos. Character types are limited as follows by this alignment [...] Chaos: Evil High Priest. <i>-Men & Magic</i></blockquote></span></div></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Evil and Chaos are not equivalent in OD&D. Chaos seems to be a theological upgrade to lowercase-e-evil. Presumably you learn about it at a training seminar. Either <i>at</i> 7th level (Lama or Evil Lama) <i>above </i>7th level (Patriarch or Evil High Priest) (the rules </span><span style="font-family: arial;">above </span><span style="font-family: arial;">disagree), a Cleric must pick Law or Chaos, but before then, merely being evil is not a firm commitment to Chaos. Clerics are the only class with built-in alignment-altering moments.<br /></span></p><p></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Finger of Death: [...] A Cleric-type may use this spell in a life-or-death situation, but misuse will immediately turn him into an Anti-Cleric.) -<i>Men & Magic</i></span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;"></span><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Evil is a very nebulous concept in OD&D. At its core, it seems to be about intent. The GM needs to make a ruling every time.<br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Detect Evil: A spell to detect evil thought or intent in any creature or evilly enchanted object. Note that poison, for example, is neither good nor evil. -<i>Men & Magic</i></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">So Detect Evil wouldn't detect poison in a chalice, but would detect the poisoner. <a href="https://www.futilitycloset.com/2011/06/21/thought-experiment/">But what if the poisoner was poisoning someone who was going to blow up an orphanage? Discuss. </a></span><br /></p><i></i><p></p><div style="text-align: left;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh1hwMVwqKPKaSWk1uaKyoSH4WXGkNFgd7qRtUWMQgHDSggKZCGnxqYLUBmuYigqa_tMf4tfE6i9lgVm_hF2bOp_c-TFOu5EG3Ve5Uxl1cE_qOu4esvzPMQqHGLIB4qR2gb6wMdb7u-k9BKo7KLzBQoj6sTyl87rrXcGSMDA5OOAYBIDrXrXreF97ILoc/s1920/stephen-oakley-dnd-group-lineup.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="958" data-original-width="1920" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh1hwMVwqKPKaSWk1uaKyoSH4WXGkNFgd7qRtUWMQgHDSggKZCGnxqYLUBmuYigqa_tMf4tfE6i9lgVm_hF2bOp_c-TFOu5EG3Ve5Uxl1cE_qOu4esvzPMQqHGLIB4qR2gb6wMdb7u-k9BKo7KLzBQoj6sTyl87rrXcGSMDA5OOAYBIDrXrXreF97ILoc/w640-h320/stephen-oakley-dnd-group-lineup.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div _ngcontent-vdt-c47="" class="mb0"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://www.artstation.com/artwork/gaJ9L">Stephen Oakley</a> (currently <a href="https://www.instagram.com/stephen.oakley/">here</a>).<br /></span></div></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><h1 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lr_vl62JblQ">Just Normal Men</a> <br /></span></h1><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Attack/Defense capabilities <b>versus normal men</b> are simply a matter of allowing one roll as a man-type for every hit die,
with any bonuses being given to only one of the attacks, i.e. a Troll
would attack six times, once with a +3 added to the die roll. (Combat is
detailed in Vol. III.) <i>-Monsters & Treasure</i></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">On discord, DymeNovelti noted: </span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Even without Chainmail we can see evidence that the 10th level Lord isn</span><span style="font-family: arial;">'t a </span><span style="font-family: arial;">"normal man</span><span style="font-family: arial;">" </span><span style="font-family: arial;">-</span><span style="font-family: arial;">- see Book 1 p 19</span><span style="font-family: arial;">'s table saying normal men are first level fighters</span><span style="font-family: arial;">, and Book 2 calling out leveled bandits etc</span><span style="font-family: arial;">. as </span><span style="font-family: arial;">"super</span><span style="font-family: arial;">-normal types</span><span style="font-family: arial;">.</span><span style="font-family: arial;">" So trolls would make 6 attacks versus bandits or soldiers</span><span style="font-family: arial;">, not against a Lord</span><span style="font-family: arial;">.</span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">This is a very good point. What qualifies as a "normal man" in OD&D?</span></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Normal men equal 1st level fighters. <i>-Men & Magic</i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">BANDITS: Although Bandits are normal men, they will have leaders who are<br />supernormal fighters, magical types or clerical types. For every 30 bandits there<br />will be one 4th level Fighting-Man; for every 50 bandits there will be in addition<br />one 5th or 6th level fighter...<i> -Monsters & Treasure </i></span></p></blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">BERSERKERS: Berserkers are simply men mad with battle-lust. They will have<br />only Fighting-Men with them as explained in the paragraphs above regarding Ban-<br />dits. They never check morale. When fighting normal men they add +2 to their<br />dice score when rolling due to their ferocity. <span><i>-Monsters & Treasure</i></span></span></blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">NOMADS: These raiders of the deserts or steppes are similar to Bandits as far as<br />super-normal types and most other characteristics go: <span><i>-Monsters & Treasure </i></span></span></blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">BUCCANEERS: Buccaneers are water-going Bandits in all respects except com-<br />position of their force. <span><i>-Monsters & Treasure </i></span><br /><br />PIRATES: Pirates are the same as Buccaneers except they are aligned with Chaos. <span><i>-Monsters & Treasure </i></span> <br /></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">By that logic, a 6+3 HD Troll fighting ten hirelings lead by a 5th-level Fighting-Man can either make one attack against the 5th-level Fighting-Man or make six attacks (one with a +3 bonus) against the hirelings. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">(The intention behind these rules becomes a lot clearer if you have access to <i>Chainmail</i>, but for the purposes of this experiment, we don't.)</span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">When Do You Stop Being Normal?<br /></span></h3><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv5OqVZxmgPyRwiX0bjZY8szGB1XjnclnRFaEEPVnvlXK-isGGhKILqFqqfPhnFu5Eb3XmAB1gVPTuD5ga3bHjmu3kVIF8RZMamtZi7_cFoMoi2DHV1r5NILUnFwzzorS0G4I8i9qWSKoamCGBDMxy8YNTymveO8LeOYZ8JYhXWcLwmTq4-fRmRMD4q-c/s867/Fighting%20Table.png" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="483" data-original-width="867" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv5OqVZxmgPyRwiX0bjZY8szGB1XjnclnRFaEEPVnvlXK-isGGhKILqFqqfPhnFu5Eb3XmAB1gVPTuD5ga3bHjmu3kVIF8RZMamtZi7_cFoMoi2DHV1r5NILUnFwzzorS0G4I8i9qWSKoamCGBDMxy8YNTymveO8LeOYZ8JYhXWcLwmTq4-fRmRMD4q-c/w640-h356/Fighting%20Table.png" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">This table, along with the Bandit entry in <i>Monsters & Treasure</i>, suggests that until a Fighter hits level 4 (Hero), they're still a Normal Man. "Hero", for both Bandits and PCs, marks the transition from "disposable meatshield in a uniform" to "character who gets lines in the screenplay or a separate figure in a massed battle wargame", and therefore from "gets shredded by a Troll" to "fights a Troll one-on-one."</span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">It's equally valid to treat the line "<span>Normal men equal 1st level fighters" as the end of the matter. By that logic, a 2nd level fighter is no longer a Normal Man.<br /><br /></span></span></div><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">One Attack Per Target?</span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It's possible to interpret the monster HD-based multi-attack rule, and OD&D's vague alternative combat system rules, to suggest that only one attack can be
assigned to each target in each round. It's "versus normal men" not
"versus a normal man." <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Under this interpretation, a Troll fighting four
normal men can attack each one once (with one attack getting a +3
bonus), and the two excess attacks being wasted. <br /></span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Cusp of Heroism</span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">This is probably crossing the line between analyzing the rules and wilfully misreading the rules, but if:<br /></span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Monsters get one attack roll for every hit die against Normal Men.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Monsters can only assign one attack to each Normal Man. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">A Swordsman (a level 3 Fighting Man) is equivalent to 3 Normal Men according to the table above.<br /></span></li></ul><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Then could a Troll assign three of its six attacks to a level 3 Fighting Man?<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It would create a very odd difficulty curve, where level 2 and 3 Fighting Men are increasingly vulnerable, but stop being squishy at Level 4. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It makes very little sense from a game design perspective, but OD&D isn't concerned with <a href="https://thealexandrian.net/wordpress/3883/roleplaying-games/reactions-to-odd-prime-requisites">fairness or balance</a> in the modern sense. Heroism must be earned. A Swordsman must leap into the fray, take disproportionate risks, stand out from the nameless rabble, and fight terrible foes in unequal combat to rise from the depths of minonhood to the safe plateau of Heroism. <br /></span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">PCs with Multiple Attacks?</span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Remember, we don't have access to <i>Chainmail, <a href=" https://www.rpgpub.com/threads/od-d-fighters-and-number-of-attacks.4437/">The Strategic Review</a></i>, etc. We're stuck with the 3 LBBs. Based on those books alone, do PCs get multiple attacks?<br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Attack/Defense capabilities versus normal men are simply a matter of allowing one roll as a man-type <b>for every hit die</b>,
with any bonuses being given to only one of the attacks, i.e. a Troll
would attack six times, once with a +3 added to the die roll. (Combat is
detailed in Vol. III.) <i>-Monsters & Treasure</i></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">This rule isn't limited to monsters<i>. </i>PCs get hit dice too. Yes, this rule appears in the Monster part of Monsters & Treasure, but so do humans, elves, dwarves, etc.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">By that logic, a 6th-level Fighting Man makes 6 attacks against Normal Men or 1 attack against anything else. A level 1 Fighting Man (with 1+1 HD) makes 1 attack with a +1 bonus. Ditto for Clerics, Magic-Users, etc. Do not underestimate a high-level wizard with a dagger!</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcap0ELbg9lsmk9f9yTh64eUfpVDnPIr8bYKfVL8YsYSXMCdEoh1zJbbOcgeA0b-gHElVtGd0BKBiJgROr-K_-dRv-RBqVplyHf0exSyJgztSFiJ2K0OhBF1Hkoh6YnTvUelVXYJlF3oQl-axT0R-4txUyAnxKPKVopkgz8SZNPnhZEIveWr7NZHE_oWU/s729/Magic%20table%202.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="558" data-original-width="729" height="490" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcap0ELbg9lsmk9f9yTh64eUfpVDnPIr8bYKfVL8YsYSXMCdEoh1zJbbOcgeA0b-gHElVtGd0BKBiJgROr-K_-dRv-RBqVplyHf0exSyJgztSFiJ2K0OhBF1Hkoh6YnTvUelVXYJlF3oQl-axT0R-4txUyAnxKPKVopkgz8SZNPnhZEIveWr7NZHE_oWU/w640-h490/Magic%20table%202.png" width="640" /></a></span></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">However,
this creates a small problem with the Fighting Capability column.<br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Fighting
Capability: This is a key to use in conjunction with the CHAINMAIL
fantasy rule, as modified in various places herein -Men & Magic</span><span style="font-family: arial;"><i> </i></span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Unlike the Fighting Man, the Magic-User
and Cleric Fighting Capability columns do not line up 1:1 with their Hit
Dice.</span><span style="font-family: arial;"> A 9th level-Magic User (a Sorcerer) has 6+1 Hit Dice, and therefore can
make 6 attacks against Normal Men (one with a +1 bonus). But the
Fighting Capability column doesn't list "6 men", it lists "Hero+1. From
the Fighting Man table, we know that a Hero is equal to four Normal
Men, so that's four attacks (one with a +1 bonus).<br /></span><p><span style="font-family: arial;">There is no easy solution. If they're not using <i>Chainmail</i>, the GM needs to decide which column to use (<a href="https://forum.immersiveink.com/viewtopic.php?t=891">if either</a>).</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In any case, </span><span style="font-family: arial;">Normal Men are in <i>trouble </i>in OD&D. I'm surprised there are any left!</span><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqufvQ-M2g_yleOQH2Dh8YWs9uaiS-Wh8b0iCgVwwcATXRIwqdaljVZEE6GX3ttF8Yc7C8wFYg5p4wkLaRdVohI4joh70d6Li_e-m2YvtWCI-Q2bVSTJyuiuvA_bqx5jshq72PPZ1mxwiJplES-LpYPjknXIszlBM46P2DtDbPy_c-s5jOAB7S1ltgc_8/s1500/alexander-mandradjiev-giant-head.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="730" data-original-width="1500" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqufvQ-M2g_yleOQH2Dh8YWs9uaiS-Wh8b0iCgVwwcATXRIwqdaljVZEE6GX3ttF8Yc7C8wFYg5p4wkLaRdVohI4joh70d6Li_e-m2YvtWCI-Q2bVSTJyuiuvA_bqx5jshq72PPZ1mxwiJplES-LpYPjknXIszlBM46P2DtDbPy_c-s5jOAB7S1ltgc_8/w640-h312/alexander-mandradjiev-giant-head.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://alexandermandradjiev.com/" style="font-family: arial;">Alexander Mandradjiev</a></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><h1 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Normal Ghoul Paralysis</span></h1><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">GHOULS: As stated in CHAINMAIL for Wights, Ghouls paralize any <b>normal figure</b> they touch, excluding Elves. <i>-Monsters & Treasure</i><br /></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Normal figure" is not defined anywhere in the LBBs, so it's less of a case of textual analysis and more a case of inventing a ruling. "Figure" is used sparingly in the books, but does crop up in one very relevant entry.<br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Charm Person: This spell applies to all two-legged, generally mammalian <b>figures </b>near to or less than man-size, excluding all monsters in the "Undead" class but including Sprites, Pixies, Nixies, Kobolds, Goblins, Orcs, Hobgoblins and Gnolls.<i> -Men & Magic</i></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">If you put the emphasis on "normal", then "super-normal types" (i.e. Fighting-Men of level 4 and above, Magic-Users, Clerics, Elves, Dwarves, Hobbits, and all monsters) are immune to Ghoul paralysis.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">If you put the emphasis on "figure", and note that the rule specifically point out that Elves are immune suggests that other creatures that might fall into the Elf category are not immune, then the Charm Person target restrictions make sense.</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuCupSNwQkJK2nM9z7b_E-QjRZLFCP3VopMrL9LjZg9Ts-du5XIoE2cazn45qNf5G28LtbAAimrinbr02lgwUSFq6jJQAjSolYaOOiOVBO5e04AQuKaEPwRJwKQel5m2hPBflLJV52DEfiU2BR2Bx3S6mBK4FPlZUvEDzNEk92unKJd2jQQ2L_hyphenhyphensEPIQ/s1481/81NI662-3hL._AC_SL1500_.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1095" data-original-width="1481" height="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuCupSNwQkJK2nM9z7b_E-QjRZLFCP3VopMrL9LjZg9Ts-du5XIoE2cazn45qNf5G28LtbAAimrinbr02lgwUSFq6jJQAjSolYaOOiOVBO5e04AQuKaEPwRJwKQel5m2hPBflLJV52DEfiU2BR2Bx3S6mBK4FPlZUvEDzNEk92unKJd2jQQ2L_hyphenhyphensEPIQ/w640-h474/81NI662-3hL._AC_SL1500_.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Kibri model No. 37304,<br />N-Gauge model of Branzoll Castle<br />a.k.a <a href="https://thealexandrian.net/wordpress/40839/roleplaying-games/running-castle-blackmoor-part-5-castle-background-features">Castle Blackmoor</a><br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><h1 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Primordial Silliness in <i>The First Fantasy Campaign</i><br /></span></h1><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Whimsy is one of the founding principles of D&D. Compared to <a href="https://forum.rpg.net/index.php?threads/we-made-up-some-shit-we-thought-would-be-fun-i-tease-you-more-part-2.692680/">early games</a>, giant stone walls are practically sensible. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Arneson">Dave Arneson's</a> <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_First_Fantasy_Campaign"><i>The First Fantasy Campaign</i></a> is a rich document for anyone trying to understand Blackmoor and pre-D&D. Here are two of my favourite silly stories. <br /></span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I: Super Berries</span></h2><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Due east on the road to Bramwald lies the Super Berry Woods wherein the
Berrium Maximus is found. It is a timeless place where all who enter
lose track of time. As with the Siren’s call and the island of the Lotus
Eaters, there is no desire to leave. If the proper spells are cast
ahead of time (each turn you are in the wood, you must make a saving
throw vs. Charm Person spells) you can enter and leave normally (even
with a saving throw vs. Charm Person each turn you are in the woods will
equate with 1-6 turns outside the woods). <br /></span></blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">The main fruit of these woods
is the great Super Berry which are as large as big pumpkins (the whole
creation was a result of using some HO/00 scale trees which had great
orange fruit on them; since these things were always infesting the board
by dropping off, they became Super Berries and were saved - that’s what
you do with imagination), and are endowed with Magical properties (the
exact nature of which changes with the season of the year, phase of the
moon, maturity of the berry, if it is cooked, boiled, dehydrated,
sliced, diced, made into juice, wine, soup, mush or eaten raw). Since my
players are far from figuring out the details, I will not reveal them
here. <i>-The First Fantasy Campaign</i><br /></span></blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/qnY_2qC1L34" width="320" youtube-src-id="qnY_2qC1L34"></iframe></span></div><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">There was a tree. It was off a railroad game and it was supposed to be an orange tree, but the oranges were about the size of basketballs in proportion to the people. So he called 'em "Super Berries." So I was able to take the Super Berry and, say you're a fourth-level Magic-User, and you could throw spells and stuff that are for higher people. A fourth-level Magic-User could throw first- or second-level spells, but with a Super Berry, you could go to fourth or fifth or sixth level.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">[And this just came out of Dave's head one day?]</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Well, part out of Dave's head, and everyone else put in their two cents in, you know that works.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-Pete Gaylord, interviewed in <i><a href="https://www.secretsofblackmoor.com/">Secrets of Blackmoor</a></i>.</span></p></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The <i>Blackmoor</i> magic-system was very different than OD&D's approach, <a href="https://osrgrimoire.blogspot.com/2020/11/the-first-fantasy-campaign-original.html">was not well documented, and is poorly understood, even today</a>. It was probably <a href="http://initiativeone.blogspot.com/2013/08/arnesonian-magic-system.html">impossible to systematize</a> for publication.</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTftwILemqmJorfm4LWkVZ0w8EM1ueDhKJjD6PcMjZeifQBGXhm1SMXjLD1Eh54izV43q1UDQOOTGB7W38QkdWqno1tu5cra_eP_wNdiweXWN0fDG5CSImjNjte69UBF7wiKLUjn4nB_zRAsvElEufZlNolDPrefqN8DXf5wxKUZsN_gwIQrUB2lJ-WCw/s1426/14-October-Two-Orcs.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1426" data-original-width="1047" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTftwILemqmJorfm4LWkVZ0w8EM1ueDhKJjD6PcMjZeifQBGXhm1SMXjLD1Eh54izV43q1UDQOOTGB7W38QkdWqno1tu5cra_eP_wNdiweXWN0fDG5CSImjNjte69UBF7wiKLUjn4nB_zRAsvElEufZlNolDPrefqN8DXf5wxKUZsN_gwIQrUB2lJ-WCw/w470-h640/14-October-Two-Orcs.jpg" width="470" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Kirk">Tim Kirk<br /></a></span></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">II: The Orcian Way</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">All spelling and grammar is original (in every sense). Append one big [sic]. <br /></span></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The first six levels of encounters were prepared in the last two years for convention games, and set up along "Official" D&D lines. The last (7th-9th and the Tunnel Cavern System) are originals used in our game. Additional crazy characters that got into the game over the years have been the Orcian Way and Sir Fang the Vampire. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The first is a great glowing stairway (with Orc Music, Rule Britannia played backwards!) that goes directly from the 1st level to the 10th level magically, although the players seem to be walking down an endless stairway. Upon entering the stairs, the Orcs, Ghouls, Wraiths, and Balrogs at the bottom are warned of the adventurers approach, and composition. If too strong, the expedition will descend the stairs forever with no apparent way out. If weak enough, the Orcs and Company, will attack and try to take them all prisoner, sacrificing them to a great feast. There are two Balrogs, six Wraiths, 200 Ghouls, 50 Ogres and 750 Orcs waiting at the bottom. They are all that is left of King Funk's Orcs' Grand Army that took Blackmoor.<br /><br />Should the players ascend the stairway. they will reach the top at about 250 feet where the stairs end in a small room (10' x 10'). In the ceiling of the room is a trap door. When you open the trapdoor, all you can see is sky and what is apparently a small platform 3' x 3' with a one foot wall around it. When the players reach this platform they seemingly (to those in the room) continue on through the trapdoor and vanish out of sight. Actually those that are passing through the trapdoor suddenly find the entire structure (trapdoor. platform. dungeon, etc.) vanishes and they fall towards Blackmoor Bay some 5-100 feet below them. Any rope that is holding them is broken and they hit the water. They must then avoid drowning (I ask them while they are falling what they are doing; if they are in Plate Armour, I give them a 1/10 chance of getting it off in time; other must make a throw less than their Dexterity rating when they are wearing some other Armour). When in the water, there is a one in six that the Great Kraken of the Bay will capture and eat them each turn as they are swimming (generally two throws) to shore. When they reach shore they are destitute by alive.</span></p></blockquote><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The entrance to the Orcian Way is marked by a great bronze tablet:</span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Orcian Way<br />Orc Public Works<br />#2734<br />Erected by Funk I<br />King of All the Orcs</span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">It too, glows in the dark and is inscribed in the Common Tongue. Once you are on the Orcian Way, the only way out is the trapdoor or fighting your way through the Orcs on the 10th level. It has nailed many a party. It's nature is now well known, but it still claims it's victims regularly.<br /><br /><i>-The First Fantasy Campaign</i><br /></span></blockquote><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP13C36xV88fRa06evzPB_BQen4vub2V-U8nRmz1iSCEZ0005Wma324XUzqJfY1v5jPhuSaPH13oOgzc24hvxBvh-0y3e4E6v-ehuGP_Gc7ZazPD1OeeoYeDs8qhwv8HQgrCrIm_wfBUeLxDk050URrJBogKXGmauX06BW6-EEOQoJBpl3GSpPlFC2VIE/s1250/13-September-The-Road-to-Minas-Tirith.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="829" data-original-width="1250" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP13C36xV88fRa06evzPB_BQen4vub2V-U8nRmz1iSCEZ0005Wma324XUzqJfY1v5jPhuSaPH13oOgzc24hvxBvh-0y3e4E6v-ehuGP_Gc7ZazPD1OeeoYeDs8qhwv8HQgrCrIm_wfBUeLxDk050URrJBogKXGmauX06BW6-EEOQoJBpl3GSpPlFC2VIE/w640-h424/13-September-The-Road-to-Minas-Tirith.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Kirk">Tim Kirk<br /></a></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Orc Music</span></h2><span style="font-family: arial;">For your listening pleasure,<b> <a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YAl9iwN4i9dlaQpWU3BqNCoc-qRuXiw4/view?usp=drive_link">Orc Music: Rule Britannia Played Backwards</a></b>. To make it more orcish, I've create <a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1dBzEN8rlGNrZgiD32MRFYabiPa2igMZw/view?usp=sharing">a second version pitch-shifted it one octave lower</a>. </span><p><span style="font-family: arial;">You may need to download the .mp3 files to get them to play; Google Drive doesn't always want to play them in browser. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The result had me in stitches. The presence of "Soron" (Sauron!?) in the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backmasking">reversed music</a> might explain the orcish connection (if Arenson used a reversed record/tape)... or it might be a coincidence. </span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Lyrics:<br />Sbyeen seebla<br />Schanamen namen namen urahsneep<br />Sneer galdoo vignats der<br />Vegnatsy groo<br /><br />Sbyeen seebla<br />Schanamen namen namen urahsneep<br />Sneer galdoo vignats der<br />Vegnatsy groo<br /><br />Gner snee ya<br />Shosneyverbraa ya-ah<br />La lachbromis gostop <br />La stromis gospe <br /><br />Veer brosnya<br />Iquemalock soron<br />Lamback soron<br /><br />Veer brosnya<br />Iquemalock so-o-o-o-ron<br />Lamback slemback sneegnasy bleh<br /></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It's unlikely to be a karaoke hit, but you can sing along at home. The original file, in case people are worried about copyright, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:%27Rule,_Britannia!%27_(United_States_Army_Strings).oga">is in the public domain</a>. The files I've created are also in the public domain (so feel free to distribute them), although you could make your own in any audio editing program in under a minute.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>How </i>did Arneson (or Fred Funk, the player who constructed the Orcian Way) produce this "Orc Music"? The gag doesn't work as well if you just <i>say </i>"Rule
Britannia played backwards". It needs the audio accompaniment. A tape
recorder or a record player would work... or perhaps, and this is an
alarming thought, Arneson learned to sing it backwards. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Does anyone know? Perhaps I should contact the crew at <i><a href="https://www.secretsofblackmoor.com/">Secrets of Blackmoor</a></i>.</span></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Finally we came to an open stairway with circular stairs down which we
heard music playing. Richard stumbled down the stairs immediately. The
rest of the group halted and tried to decide to follow him or not,
Tindell urging them on. As we walked down, we heard the orc national
anthem (don't blame me; it's Arneson's dungeon; how could orcs have one
nation?) played backwards. This brought a horde of orcs on us from in
front. <br /></span></p></blockquote><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-Bill Paley, <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alarums_and_Excursions">Alarums & Excursions</a> #15</i>, transcribed <a href=" https://blackmoor.mystara.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=1058">here</a>.</span></p></blockquote><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Obvious Traps<br /></span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I think that the best trap is usually a known trap, and I've said as much in print.<br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Some of the traps in classic funhouse dungeons seem like jokes designed for the module’s author and the GM to share, with the poor players left frustrated and baffled. I’ve tried to make <i>Magical Murder Mansion</i> entertaining for everyone; even the deathtraps and surprises should get an joyful “oh no, I can’t believe we walked into that one” from the players. The GM knows it’s a trap. The players know it’s a trap. But someone’s got to open that door. <i>- <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2019/06/osr-magical-murder-mansion-megapost.html">Magical Murder Mansion</a></i></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I suspect Arenson's players, when first confronted by a the glowing "Orcian Way" sign, felt the same way. Of <i>course</i> it's a trap. Horrible death is expected. The fun is finding out what sort of horrible death awaits and, if by luck, guile, a half-forgotten inventory item, or fleeing madly in all directions, it can be avoided. </span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Final Notes</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">If you have a favourite odd OD&D rule, ruling, or fact, feel free to leave it in the comments. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-87207516999098587632023-11-29T10:25:00.001-07:002023-11-29T18:19:38.453-07:00OSR: Rereading OD&D: Back to the Start<p><span style="font-family: arial;">Time to revisit the primordial ooze of the Old-School Renaissance, the original D&D booklets. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">While my usual long-term OSR campaigns use <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2019/10/osr-glog-based-homebrew-v2-many-rats-on.html">the GLOG</a>, for playtests and
one-shots I sometimes use a highly mutated version of AD&D. If
they were dog breeds, the version of AD&D I use would be a neurotic
greyhound with hip dysplasia, the GLOG is an <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argentine_black_and_white_tegu">Argentine tegu</a> in a dog
costume, and OD&D is a barely domesticated <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coydog">coyote/dog hybrid</a>. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I will
not explain further.</span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">No One Ever Said It Would Be This Hard</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Imagine it's 1974ish. All you have are <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dungeons_%26_Dragons_(1974)">the three Little Brown Books</a>: <i>Men and Magic</i>, <i>Monsters and Treasure</i>, and<i> Underworld and Wilderness Adventures</i>.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">You have no wargaming experience. You have no access to magazines, groups, or official answers. No Chainmail, no Dungeon, no Dragon, no Greyhawk, no Judges Guild, no internet, no <i>nothing</i>. A mysterious robed figure gave you three booklets and some polyhedral dice and vanished in a puff of <span class="ILfuVd" lang="en"><span class="hgKElc"><i>gedankenexperiment</i>.</span></span></span> </p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Can you run OD&D with the rules as written, without the benefit of errata, context, or decades of new rules?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Yes. <a href="https://thealexandrian.net/wordpress/2610/roleplaying-games/reactions-to-odd-the-ur-game">Yes you can.</a></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">But there are a few edge cases that you may need to resolve along the way.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Little Brown Books are probably the most thoroughly examined texts in RPG history. I can't claim any of the curious rules below are original discoveries, because they've almost certainly been debated half to death in long-forgotten forums or letters to the editor. They're still amusing, and might be new to a given reader.<br /></span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Original Intentions of What Later Became <i>Dungeons and Dragons</i>.</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">As I see it,<i> Dungeons and Dragons</i> was originally designed as an amusing diversion for the generals and leader-types of a wargaming-scale fantasy army. Imagine plucking a <i>Warhammer </i>character
model off the battlefield and sending them on a short excursion, where
they could potentially pick up an item to help them in a future battle.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Original D&D in many ways plays like a modern board game in the style of <i><a href="https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/10547/betrayal-house-hill">Betrayal at House on the Hill</a>,</i>
but where you randomly generate your character instead of picking a
card, and where there's a referee to handle situations like "Can I shoot
the door open with a shotgun?" or "Can I throw this item down the
stairs?"<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The moment someone asked "Can a torch burn cobwebs?"
or "Can I ask the Goblin about his past?", OD&D stopped being a formulaic exercise in micro-wargaming and became... well, OD&D. It
became a shared imaginary world, where the rules and logic of our world applied,
instead of a bloodless chess-like abstraction.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">As befits a first attempt, OD&D contains many rules oddities that are worth examining. <br /></span></p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGDc52E32OJWYKYoVqKTpqi72eLB1na8IGSZpQdDawDzAy3ZxfxiD_6k-6E1mF1e_g040PBTlC7x6FuQCmsrUAOTAhui1LxDTQs_yxID2JM5zoklu5BFRpJnCDiFff5O3J_CcT4GH-egyaxYs4x58D_Bez24MEhMgYK6uJeUT62yMSxDaHLdltJARANJE/s2999/ryan-van-dongen-unicorn2.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2999" data-original-width="1920" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGDc52E32OJWYKYoVqKTpqi72eLB1na8IGSZpQdDawDzAy3ZxfxiD_6k-6E1mF1e_g040PBTlC7x6FuQCmsrUAOTAhui1LxDTQs_yxID2JM5zoklu5BFRpJnCDiFff5O3J_CcT4GH-egyaxYs4x58D_Bez24MEhMgYK6uJeUT62yMSxDaHLdltJARANJE/w410-h640/ryan-van-dongen-unicorn2.jpg" width="410" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.artstation.com/ryan" style="font-family: arial;">Ryan van Dongen</a></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><p></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Strictly Orthodox Vampires</span></h2><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Vampires cannot abide the smell of garlic, the face of a mirror, or the sight of cross. They will fall back from these if strongly presented.<i> -Monsters & Treasure</i><br /></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Notably, "holy symbols" are not present in OD&D. You can buy wooden or silver crosses. 10 items (arguably) on the basic equipment list are specifically related to the undead. Your job, or at least the Cleric's job, is to fight Draculas.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Interestingly, while you can buy Belladonna, Wolfsbane, and Holy Water, they don't have specified mechanical effects. Garlic does; holy water doesn't.</span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Overpowered Elves & Dwarves</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Some of the advantages of playing an Elf or a Dwarf are not listed in <i>Men & Magic,</i> but hidden in the Monster section of <i>Monsters & Treasure</i>.<br /></span></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Elves have the ability of moving silently and are nearly invisible in their gray-green cloaks. Elves armed with magical weapons will add one pip to dice rolled to determine damage, i.e. when a hit is scored the possible number of damage points will be 2-7 per die. -<i>Monsters & Treasure</i><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Elven Cloak and Boots: Wearing the Cloak makes a person next to invisible, while<br />the Boots allow for totally silent movement. -<i>Monsters & Treasure</i></span></p></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">This <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/odnd/comments/11kb1tz/elven_boots_and_cloak/"><i>suggests</i></a>, but does not completely confirm, that an Elf PC starts with an Elven Cloak and Boots. The +1 damage when using a magical weapon seems to be clear. <br /></span></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">DWARVES: Because of their relatively small size, clumsy monsters like Ogres, Giants and the like will have a difficult time hitting Dwarves, so score only one-half the usual hit points when a hit is scored. -<i>Monsters & Treasure</i></span></p></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Note that this <i>only</i> applies to Dwarves, not Hobbits, Gnomes, etc. This is odd, because Gnomes are "slightly smaller than Dwarves." Perhaps their little Gnome legs are just too tiny to allow for quick dodges?<br /></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdUAuW6dxlYVP7eNbR9vGMQBVna-R0H8Frqj8lL-4FAJKcBHP-0rVpApw_Y_2p4K8oBZd-U-KbYYyVVf5L9wso3RYHNOVWOBBJSzjGKNYkyDdIxjIqD8DiLNnaTZg1BqkpBw9XdhWgf8xyAqL328TNYMstS1YDUxDX5dSkJ1Db8lR-76UAtDhSUYC7kw0/s1920/xiaoyu-wang-3-1.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1184" data-original-width="1920" height="394" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdUAuW6dxlYVP7eNbR9vGMQBVna-R0H8Frqj8lL-4FAJKcBHP-0rVpApw_Y_2p4K8oBZd-U-KbYYyVVf5L9wso3RYHNOVWOBBJSzjGKNYkyDdIxjIqD8DiLNnaTZg1BqkpBw9XdhWgf8xyAqL328TNYMstS1YDUxDX5dSkJ1Db8lR-76UAtDhSUYC7kw0/w640-h394/xiaoyu-wang-3-1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.artstation.com/wangxiaoyu" style="font-family: arial;">Xiaoyu Wang</a></td></tr></tbody></table><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">All Hobbits Go To Heaven</span></h2><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Raise Dead: The Cleric simply points his finger, utters the incantation, and the dead person is raised. This spell works with men, elves, and dwarves only.<i> -Men & Magic</i></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">What about Hobbits? <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">1. </span><span style="font-family: arial;">Hobbits don't have souls.<br />2. Hobbits automatically go to a better world and are reluctant to return.<br /> 3. Hobbits are already in heaven. <br />4. The moment a Hobbit dies, ethereal copyright lawyers from the Tolkien estate swoop in and destroy their soul.<br />5. Hobbits are a kind of monster that somehow, by tricksiness and cunning, snuck into the character creation rules. Since you can't use Raise Dead on monsters, you can't use it on Hobbits.<br />6. Anyone crazy enough to play a Hobbit doesn't deserve a second chance.<br /><br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg568j2SR2J4kyp9RwgL2YpomthJ7C7uQgJ31YXu6n-ZbCgFdjiQRHoms_lpgfmigvzLFRdx7HE2SHEosg0iWfEZgTBFBbxgMy8YbXWBQMoy5AFMbxi03XAuZWbJVE9xAVnlf10azAbv2WAD9Y6t1oUxI-VWGg6a7PLk-LD9UZ7umWcBnzS-e3SDsGoZFA/s1200/law%20wizard.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1105" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg568j2SR2J4kyp9RwgL2YpomthJ7C7uQgJ31YXu6n-ZbCgFdjiQRHoms_lpgfmigvzLFRdx7HE2SHEosg0iWfEZgTBFBbxgMy8YbXWBQMoy5AFMbxi03XAuZWbJVE9xAVnlf10azAbv2WAD9Y6t1oUxI-VWGg6a7PLk-LD9UZ7umWcBnzS-e3SDsGoZFA/w590-h640/law%20wizard.jpg" width="590" /></a></div><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Fully Armoured Wizards</span></h2><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Magic-Users can, <a href="http://www.thefantasygame.org/2011/05/research-od-magic-users-in-arms-and.html">arguably</a>, wear non-magical armour.</span></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Magic-Users: Top level magic-users are perhaps the most powerful characters in the game, but it is a long, hard road to the top, and to begin with they are weak, so survival is often the question, unless fighters protect the low-level magical types until they have worked up. The whole plethora of <b>enchanted </b>items lies at the magic-users beck and call, <b>save the arms and armor of the fighters</b> (see, however, Elves); Magic-Users may arm themselves with daggers only. -Men & Treasure</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Clerics: Clerics gain some of the advantages from both of the other two classes (Fighting-Men and Magic-Users) in that they have the use of <b>magic </b>armor and all non-edged magic weapons (no arrows!), plus they have numbers of their own spells.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Elves: Elves can begin as either Fighting-Men or Magic-Users and freely switch class whenever they choose, from adventure to adventure, but not during the course of a single game. Thus, they gain the benefits of both classes and may use both weaponry and spells. <b>They may use magic armor and still act as Magic-Users.</b></span></p></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The rules explicitly prevent the Magic-User from wearing <b>magic </b>armour, but non-magical armour seems to be fine. Kit out your wizard in a set of plate and give them a shield; they'll need it.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The difference between a human Fighting Man, Cleric, and a Magic-User at level 1 is negligible. The MU casts one spell and turns into a Fighting Man with a dagger, 1 fewer HP, and slightly worse saves. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The weapon-and-armour restriction makes more sense if you view OD&D as a board game with various item cards in a deck. The basic equipment list is your pre-dungeon boring stuff; the real goodies are drawn from the deck, and MUs can't use some of the cards.</span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span class="ReferentFragmentdesktop__Highlight-sc-110r0d9-1 jAzSMw" style="font-family: arial;">You're My Wonderwall</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Scale in OD&D is a <a href="http://deltasdnd.blogspot.com/2018/09/scales-through-ages.html">controversial</a> topic. Most of the time, the books use a tabletop scale of 1" = 10'. Mixing real-world scales and tabletop scales in the same text inevitably leads to confusion.</span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">In the underworld all distances are in feet, so <b>wherever distances are given in inches convert them to tens of feet.</b> -<i>Underworld & Wilderness Adventures</i> <br /></span></blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Wall of Stone: The creation of a stone wall <b>two feet thick </b>with a maximum length and height equalling 10 square inches. The wall will last until dispelled, broken down or battered through as a usual stone wall. Range: 6".<i> -Men & Magic</i><br /></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Is the Wall of Stone:<br /> a) 2' (24") thick in the real-world scale?<br />b) 2' (24") in tabletop scale, and therefore 240' thick in real-world scale?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Aha," you say, "when the book writes 'feet' it means 'real-world feet' and when it writes 'inches' it means 'tabletop scale inches'." </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Well read on!<br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Wall of Iron: Like a Wall of Stone, but the thickness of the wall is three inches and its maximum area 5 square inches. Duration: 12 turns. Range: 6". <i> -Men & Magic</i></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Is the Wall of Iron:<br /> a) 3" thick in the real-world scale?<br />b) 3" in tabletop scale, and therefore 30' thick in real-world scale?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Aha!" you say, "when the book writes a number out in words (e.g three) it means 'real world inches' and when it uses a numeral (e.g. 3) it means 'tabletop scale inches'."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">And that <i>might </i>make sense if that system was used in<u><i> </i></u><i>any of the other rules</i>, but no, it's arbitrary in the other books. Yes, there is a sensible and obvious answer. No, you are not obligated to pick the sensible answer.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">A Magic-User can, arguably, create a Wall of Stone that is:<br />Tabletop: 10" high, 1" wide, 24" thick. <br />Real World: 100' high, 10' wide, and 240' thick. </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhckC4eyRqkGk-WZN4C-C-Zewu2dgvu-U5P1rIkPLp6t66KEP0qTafE5OSGgnvaRSkKRGUv4Sc6WQdAwlK6F333pLNjhvLmAvbTQ1UjcwPq6n0-TwzMiJVFueDPvcVniK1LhdaYH8-8Jy4z78tX9Q3wivuguyyVtC26J21d-xUnJUbknksm6LCy5zBPlrs/s2624/Wall%20of%20Stone.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2624" data-original-width="2302" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhckC4eyRqkGk-WZN4C-C-Zewu2dgvu-U5P1rIkPLp6t66KEP0qTafE5OSGgnvaRSkKRGUv4Sc6WQdAwlK6F333pLNjhvLmAvbTQ1UjcwPq6n0-TwzMiJVFueDPvcVniK1LhdaYH8-8Jy4z78tX9Q3wivuguyyVtC26J21d-xUnJUbknksm6LCy5zBPlrs/w562-h640/Wall%20of%20Stone.jpg" width="562" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />Behold! I am a mighty wizard! </span><p><span style="font-family: arial;">And, arguably, the spell becomes even mightier outdoors, where 1" = 10 yards = 30'... if you use the variable indoor/outdoor scale (which nobody does, because it's too much trouble).<br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Sighting Monsters: Players will see monsters at from 40-240 yards (<b>inches convert to tens of yards for the wildernes</b>s) unless the monster has surprised the characters involved.<i> -Underworld & Wilderness Adventures</i></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Imagine such a world, covered in criss-crossing iron and stone walls, a labyrinth landscape scarred by wizard wars. Perhaps some small lakes from melting Walls of Ice (60'x20'x60' or 72,000 cubic feet, 538,000 gallons, or 2 million litres of water, or, amazingly,<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olympic-size_swimming_pool"> around 1 Olympic swimming pool</a>). <br /></span></p><span style="font-family: arial;"></span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN0-uZBcr07o7WV7n58jhdlv1YUzSxSUPx39rWWUeJvzFe2TXYc9IIKwsb5NRi4DAdahHS8Wfu7VJAX0Rtr8PvYjjI2FaH1fnYI0qBgpBReCSeDVwSQ1QB0Lk8SE3jFu33jw5Lt8NwRbrv3THeH3pLEvd3Fjoua7NIKOseS05Dq87jqGmk7BDwk5E9pYA/s1892/stepan-alekseev-09s.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1892" data-original-width="1280" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN0-uZBcr07o7WV7n58jhdlv1YUzSxSUPx39rWWUeJvzFe2TXYc9IIKwsb5NRi4DAdahHS8Wfu7VJAX0Rtr8PvYjjI2FaH1fnYI0qBgpBReCSeDVwSQ1QB0Lk8SE3jFu33jw5Lt8NwRbrv3THeH3pLEvd3Fjoua7NIKOseS05Dq87jqGmk7BDwk5E9pYA/w432-h640/stepan-alekseev-09s.jpg" width="432" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.artstation.com/chosac" style="font-family: arial;">Stepan Alekseev</a></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Periodic Undead</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The OD&D Wraith was invented solely to fill a gap on the HD chart. <br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw8JD2pGfdwp_0JeXuY-OJDKAWcDn5ezqcID-pAeePjcoZDnJHqAtYLjnSjMurOyua6MVCiImvHyAQOY6GB_Kw9Xq_F74YTyEyA6f350zqfjTxMWKcUI35LbKhtUj-H4AjcmwnJzfTObWL8xns1OM0DJRsMAE9xoSNg6foE0-10w-p-CC95kRIfD1Feww/s422/Undead.png" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="263" data-original-width="422" height="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw8JD2pGfdwp_0JeXuY-OJDKAWcDn5ezqcID-pAeePjcoZDnJHqAtYLjnSjMurOyua6MVCiImvHyAQOY6GB_Kw9Xq_F74YTyEyA6f350zqfjTxMWKcUI35LbKhtUj-H4AjcmwnJzfTObWL8xns1OM0DJRsMAE9xoSNg6foE0-10w-p-CC95kRIfD1Feww/w400-h249/Undead.png" width="400" /></a></div><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">WRAITHS: These monsters are simply high-class Wights with more mobility, hit dice, and treasure. Hits by silver-tipped arrows will score only 1/2 die of damage, and magic arrows only score 1 die of damage when they hit. -Monsters & Treasure<br /></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Clearly, it's not the most original monster. Why the book needed a strict 1:1 HD:Undead list is not entirely clear. Perhaps it has something to do with <a href="https://forum.rpg.net/index.php?threads/we-made-up-some-shit-we-thought-would-be-fun-i-tease-you-more-part-2.692680/#post-16891998">levelling up from a Skeleton to a Vampire</a>. Nothing else in OD&D follows this systematic progression.</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-FSeY84TSQoQK6DKJxZRA3a9NlQVf7TRGunm8LHIqri2k3EEoFiVMRR2ndnh_YzR03jvWtURvAq0ticIhvkrs6PZLjAMfjBVlebiHDpWuNR4zVqQuc2XExl7GZuwqvYAAULvX-14DVWR1aklH6_pejAQ6ZspTmJ912k3FoqHrjfBK-UJ-hQv10XTCn-Y/s734/the%20chart.png" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="734" data-original-width="572" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-FSeY84TSQoQK6DKJxZRA3a9NlQVf7TRGunm8LHIqri2k3EEoFiVMRR2ndnh_YzR03jvWtURvAq0ticIhvkrs6PZLjAMfjBVlebiHDpWuNR4zVqQuc2XExl7GZuwqvYAAULvX-14DVWR1aklH6_pejAQ6ZspTmJ912k3FoqHrjfBK-UJ-hQv10XTCn-Y/w498-h640/the%20chart.png" width="498" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">We'll be referring to these tables quite a bit.<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">HD-Based Combat Resolution </span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In most post-OD&D games with descending Armour Class, like Old School Essentials, a <a href="https://oldschoolessentials.necroticgnome.com/srd/index.php/Armour_and_Shields">Shield+1 is an extra -1 AC (-2 AC total)</a>. This makes intuitive sense and speeds up combat resolution.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In OD&D, it works slightly differently. A Shield+1 is -1 AC and subtracts 1 from the HD of the opponent. <br /></span></p><p style="margin-left: 40px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Armor proper subtracts its bonus from the hit dice of the opponents of its wearer. <i>-Monsters & Treasure </i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Examples:</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">A PC with <span style="color: #800180;">Chainmail</span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">+1</span> (AC 5) and a <span style="color: #ffa400;">Shield</span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">+1</span> (AC -1) is fighting an Orc (1+1 HD).</span></p><p style="margin-left: 40px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">AC subtraction (<span style="color: red;">incorrect</span>): PC has AC 2 (<span style="color: #800180;">5</span><span style="color: #ffa400;">-1</span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">-1-1</span>). The Orc, as a HD 1+1 creature, hits AC 2 on a 16.</span></p><p style="margin-left: 40px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">HD modification (<span style="color: #38761d;">correct</span>): PC has AC 4 (<span style="color: #800180;">5</span><span style="color: #ffa400;">-1</span>). The Orc's HD is reduced by <span style="color: #2b00fe;">2</span> (one from the <span style="color: #800180;">Chainmail+1</span>, one from the <span style="color: #ffa400;">Shield+1</span>). As a HD "up to 1" creature, it hits AC 4 on a 14.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">A PC with the best available armour in OD&D, <span style="color: #800180;">Plate Mail</span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">+2</span> (AC 3) <span style="color: #ffa400;">Shield</span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">+3</span> (AC -1) (AC 2 total) is fighting an Orc (1+1 HD). </span></p><p style="margin-left: 40px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">AC subtraction (<span style="color: red;">incorrect</span>): PC has AC -3, which is not on the table.</span></p><p style="margin-left: 40px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">HD modification (<span style="color: #38761d;">correct</span>): PC has AC 2 (<span style="color: #800180;">3</span><span style="color: #ffa400;">-1</span>). The Orc's HD is reduced by <span style="color: #2b00fe;">5</span>. As a HD "up to 1" creature, it hits AC 2 on a 17. </span></p><p style="margin-left: 40px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The same PC is fighting a Balrog (HD 10). The Balrog's HD is reduced by <span style="color: #2b00fe;">5</span>. As a HD 4-6 creature, it hits AC 2 on a 12.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The worst possible to-hit is a 17. You <i>always </i>have at least a 20% chance to hit. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">This whole HD-reduction scheme makes a lot more sense if you have access to Chainmail's combat system, but we don't.</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZDG9Jw2eNmvex-BFXJiiYztpUIVQxGvoAcO59qx8_zuK094njEm23HMOjLqcgf3YtyyNnZ7pBBv2CLcuVUwZJGrSIYu8mBoQG9cttkayWVjPZsHjaOGTJ1Xf96q5BT5_R4bJVIj7QRwA3vpZyrLvXokM3QcQTdcXHl6CpCwW7fgxcgip-m3eylaNqy8A/s1500/ariel-perez-im.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="1243" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZDG9Jw2eNmvex-BFXJiiYztpUIVQxGvoAcO59qx8_zuK094njEm23HMOjLqcgf3YtyyNnZ7pBBv2CLcuVUwZJGrSIYu8mBoQG9cttkayWVjPZsHjaOGTJ1Xf96q5BT5_R4bJVIj7QRwA3vpZyrLvXokM3QcQTdcXHl6CpCwW7fgxcgip-m3eylaNqy8A/w530-h640/ariel-perez-im.jpg" width="530" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.artstation.com/arielp" style="font-family: arial;">Ariel Perez</a><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Helmets, Shields, and Hit Probability</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In OD&D, there is a hidden pre-attack resolution step. Helmets are listed on the equipment list (<i>Men & Magic</i>), but do not have any rules provided. Their rules are implied.<br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Helm of Reading Magic and Languages: Wearing this helm allows the person to read any language or magical writing. It does not protect in the same way as Magic Armor, so if it is worn in combat <b>any hit upon its wearer should be given a 10% of striking the helm and smashing it</b>. <i>-Monsters & Treasure </i></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Shields also have separate rules.<br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">If the shield's bonus is greater than that of the armor there is <b>a one-third chance that the blow will be caught by the shield</b>, thus giving the additional subtraction. <i>-Monsters & Treasure </i></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Example:<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">A PC with non-magical <span style="color: #800180;">Chainmail </span>(AC 5), a <span style="color: #ffa400;">Shield</span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">+1</span> (AC-1), and no helmet (due to dripping green slime or thriftiness) is fighting an Orc (HD 1+1).</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Before making an attack roll, the GM rolls 1d10. <br />On a 1, the attack hits the unarmoured head (AC 9, so 9 to hit). <br />On a 2-4, the attack hits the Shield+1 (AC 4, but<span style="color: #2b00fe;"> -1 HD</span>, so 15 to hit).<br />On a 5-10, the attack hits the Chainmail. (Still AC 4, so 14 to hit).</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Combat is not swift, but it is amusing. <br /></span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Furious Combat<br /></span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">How many times do monsters attack in OD&D? <br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Attack/Defense capabilities versus normal men are simply a matter of allowing <b>one roll as a man-type for every hit die</b>, with any bonuses being given to only one of the attacks, i.e. a Troll would attack six times, once with a +3 added to the die roll. (Combat is detailed in Vol. III.) <i>-Monsters & Treasure</i></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">This suggest that a 6+3 HD troll attacks 6 times, with one attack getting a +3 bonus to the roll. This is (if we know about Chainmail) perfectly sensible, but we don't know about Chainmail.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Also, Combat is <i>not</i> detailed in Vol. III. At best, it's vaguely suggested in Vol. III. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Example:</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">A Troll (6+3 HD) attacks a Lord, 10th Level Fighting-Man with the best available armour in OD&D, <span style="color: #800180;">Plate Mail</span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">+2</span> (AC 3) <span style="color: #ffa400;">Shield</span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">+3</span> (AC -1) (AC 2 total).</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"> The Troll attacks as a HD 1+1 creature (6<span style="color: #2b00fe;">-5</span>) against AC 2, and needs a 16 to hit with 6 attacks, with one roll getting a +3 bonus, and with any hit dealing 1d6 damage. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">A Lord, 10th Level Fighting-Man has 10d6+1 HP. Trolls appear in groups of 2-12. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Clearly, something has gone awry here. All the other rules, and common sense, suggest that monsters attack once unless otherwise specified.</span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">In Melee the Centaur will attack twice, once as a man and once as a medium horse. - Monsters & Treasure</span></blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Giant Crabs: As these creatures cannot swim, they are a peril only near beaches and on land. They travel 6" per turn. They attack twice, once for each pincher, and can take from 3 - 18 points of damage. - Underworld & Wilderness Adventures</span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Still, it's amusing to imagine a non-Chainmail combat system using high-powered blender-like monsters. OD&D <a href="https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RocketTagGameplay">rocket tag</a>. A Wraith that makes four attacks, each one draining a level on a hit? Get me out of this dungeon!<br /></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn9dL3fJgWRChLNhyphenhyphen0tYm0sb1z5o46-B9nVGkMB8JRix_Inl7SkiEGMnQDuUh3LeMAKjrARSsvAK-uCI-UeTUrx0iR0ReEBzB_0nx-88aUVfGOJkEQOYjgDSMwunjuPBuoM-NIPCW3fKCt0DU6CwjbJ5OCsKHvGaCptKUb9t4x7JBcGbKo7k9WEU5BKJ0/s1362/adrian-smith-fump.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1362" data-original-width="1000" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn9dL3fJgWRChLNhyphenhyphen0tYm0sb1z5o46-B9nVGkMB8JRix_Inl7SkiEGMnQDuUh3LeMAKjrARSsvAK-uCI-UeTUrx0iR0ReEBzB_0nx-88aUVfGOJkEQOYjgDSMwunjuPBuoM-NIPCW3fKCt0DU6CwjbJ5OCsKHvGaCptKUb9t4x7JBcGbKo7k9WEU5BKJ0/w470-h640/adrian-smith-fump.jpg" width="470" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.artstation.com/adrian-smith" style="font-family: arial;">Adrian Smith</a><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Giant Strength and HD Modification</span></h2><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Gauntlets of Ogre Power: These gauntlets give the wearer the ability to strike as an Ogre and generally give his hands and arms the strength of an ogre. They do not necessarily increase hit probability however. -Monsters & Treasure<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Girdle of Giant Strength: Wearing this device bestows the strength and hit prob-<br />ability (if greater than the wearer's own) of Hill Giant <i>-Monsters & Treasure</i></span></p></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In OD&D, Strength (the characteristic) does not give any bonus to damage. <a href="https://thealexandrian.net/wordpress/3898/roleplaying-games/gary-gygaxs-house-rules-for-odd">Gygax houseruled this pretty early on</a>, but we don't have access to those rulings.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Gauntlets of Ogre Power let a PC act as a HD 4+1 creature (equivalent to a level 7-9 PC) for hit probability, unless their hit probability is higher. If you're a level 10 PC, then the gauntlets won't do you any good. Perhaps the GM could rule they're useful for cracking the necks off wine bottles or bending fireplace pokers into pretzels. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Girdle of Giant Strength lets the PC act as a 8 HD creature (which oddly doesn't have an equivalent on the PC hit table) for hit probability, unless their hit probability is higher. </span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">GIANTS: As stated in CHAINMAIL, Giants act as mobile light catapults with a 20' range. Due to their huge weapons all Giants will score two dice of damage when hitting an opponent.<i> -Monsters & Treasure</i></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">So, in OD&D, if you have a Girdle of Giant Strength, you are as strong as a Hill Giant. You can, presumably, act as a mobile light catapult with a 20' range, but in melee you don't deal 2d6 daamge instead of 1d6 unless you are wielding a huge weapon.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">How much does a huge weapon weigh in gold pieces? If we're being strict, a Girdle of Giant Strength doesn't increase a character's carrying capacity beyond the standard 1,500gp limit. After all, the Gauntlets of Ogre Power apply to the hands and arms, not the back, spine, and hamstrings.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">On the other hand, "Wandering Giants will carry from 1,000 to 6,000 Gold Pieces with them in their usual copious shoulder sack" (<i>Monsters & Treasure</i>), so maybe your carrying capacity is increased to 6,000gp.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv870N6h7hyphenhyphenPVcJHPQTTfOXptRw269wDTeOAT2GnFiFxh4BBmvMKSiv8dwYhQsTyo_CuHlAsPuEg02KO9Oq4Y0-X_B6JCOWGaAsqHtZgKtD4H8VIv3o-wFntIFSN31O5RAg8SeMEQcRgyuRamLEC72IFKgQ7GRBii1c3mXYsDwvPkM3wbmF8MDKnESBfw/s2238/filipe-pagliuso-brother-isidorus-art.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2238" data-original-width="1294" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv870N6h7hyphenhyphenPVcJHPQTTfOXptRw269wDTeOAT2GnFiFxh4BBmvMKSiv8dwYhQsTyo_CuHlAsPuEg02KO9Oq4Y0-X_B6JCOWGaAsqHtZgKtD4H8VIv3o-wFntIFSN31O5RAg8SeMEQcRgyuRamLEC72IFKgQ7GRBii1c3mXYsDwvPkM3wbmF8MDKnESBfw/w370-h640/filipe-pagliuso-brother-isidorus-art.jpg" width="370" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://filipe-pagliuso.artstation.com/">Filipe Pagliuso</a></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Hold It Right There</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">If you're used to <i>Hold Person</i> as a "lock in place"-type spell, OD&D's version might be a bit confusing. <i><br /></i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Hold Person: A spell similar to a Charm Person but which is of both limited duration and greater effect. It will effect from 1-4 persons. If it is cast at only a single person it has the effect of reducing the target's saving throw against magic by -2. Duration: 6 turns + level of the caster. Range: 12". </span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Charm Person and Charm Monster are two of the most powerful spells in OD&D, as they give you a permanent hireling (and a hilarious melee-range liability if the spell is ever dispelled). <br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Charm Person: This spell applies to all two-legged, generally mammalian figures near to or less than man-size, excluding all monsters in the "Undead" class but including Sprites, Pixies, Nixies, Kobolds, Goblins, Orcs, Hobgoblins and Gnolls. If the spell is successful it will cause the charmed entity to come completely under the influence of the Magic-User until such time as the "charm" is dispelled (Dispell Magic). Range: 12"</span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Charm Person: 1 target, permanent.<br />Hold Person: 1-4 targets, 6 turns + level of caster.</span></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Charm Monster: The counterpart of a Charm Person spell which is employable against all creatures. If animals or creatures with three or fewer hit dice are involved determine how many are effected by the spell by rolling three six-sided dice. It is otherwise identical to the Charm Person spell.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Hold Monster: Same as Hold Person but applicable to Monsters.</span></p></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Charm Monster: 1 monster or 3d6 total HD of monsters with 3 or fewer HD, permanent.<br />Hold Monster: 1-4 monsters, 6 turns + level of caster.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">You could argue that Hold Monster would work on 12d6 total HD of monsters with 3 or fewer HD<span>. </span></span><br /></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDKgmNuLFxPq9TUrxDDbVhiCGgCMA1-TsqeCa4WU62-stHJnn8JNsLeuKzXMs3kSq5zxZ2McH1DJ7CageI6vXJmv_dZgFfm2xZqQWo3zkNE-cAARXAKeA98LVEJumUNkwNZQ2baej_NFLMQvSFGoRWC0-Dp4hOTSjJoK7XZ2sYY77v7ujvR3002NRSykM/s1410/ville-sinkkonen-darkdrake.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="822" data-original-width="1410" height="374" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDKgmNuLFxPq9TUrxDDbVhiCGgCMA1-TsqeCa4WU62-stHJnn8JNsLeuKzXMs3kSq5zxZ2McH1DJ7CageI6vXJmv_dZgFfm2xZqQWo3zkNE-cAARXAKeA98LVEJumUNkwNZQ2baej_NFLMQvSFGoRWC0-Dp4hOTSjJoK7XZ2sYY77v7ujvR3002NRSykM/w640-h374/ville-sinkkonen-darkdrake.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Ville Sinkkonen</span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Final Notes</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Do you have a favourite weird OD&D rule? Have I made a terrible mistake in my interpretation of the sacred texts? Post your feedback in the comments.<br /></span></p>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-41616087304497670112023-11-13T03:20:00.000-07:002023-11-13T03:20:08.753-07:00OSR: The Monster Overhaul is back in stock!<p><span style="font-family: arial;"> Good news! After selling out the first print run in record time <b><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/02/osr-monster-overhaul-megapost.html">The Monster Overhaul: A Practical Bestiary</a></b> is back in stock.</span></p><ul><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>US </b>(and the rest of the world): <a href="https://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/The-Monster-Overhaul-Print-PDF.html">Indie Press Revolution</a></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Canada:</b> <a href="https://composedreamgames.com/marketplace/the-monster-overhaul">Compose Dream Games</a></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>UK/EU: </b><a href="https://soulmuppet-store.co.uk/products/the-monsters-overhaul">SoulMuppet</a></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>PDF</b>: <a href="https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/421868/The-Monster-Overhaul">DriveThruRPG</a></span></li></ul><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Check out <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/02/osr-monster-overhaul-megapost.html"><b>The Monster Overhaul Megapost</b></a> for reviews, links, and other information. </span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjFPeUpHuxu6okABUYPrBY_3-r3dp1CBT0Qj2mNWEIOe39YoEXgDpw0aJRcLQcs3uqemDc-55qwaKV6EA02MshfM8BFfcfVskHgrn8CFjO1dcvv4V7YcqvU41EIPyFS5ypBOcP9wUd1jyaXZOQ82YyD4kGnlIDNlJwN122btVahzIO6my3i_9eUlIDcCM/s757/Monster%20Overhaul%20Cover%20Small.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><img border="0" data-original-height="757" data-original-width="680" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjFPeUpHuxu6okABUYPrBY_3-r3dp1CBT0Qj2mNWEIOe39YoEXgDpw0aJRcLQcs3uqemDc-55qwaKV6EA02MshfM8BFfcfVskHgrn8CFjO1dcvv4V7YcqvU41EIPyFS5ypBOcP9wUd1jyaXZOQ82YyD4kGnlIDNlJwN122btVahzIO6my3i_9eUlIDcCM/w574-h640/Monster%20Overhaul%20Cover%20Small.png" width="574" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><p></p><div class="x1lliihq xjkvuk6 x1iorvi4"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x xudqn12 x3x7a5m x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u" dir="auto" lang="en"><div class="xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs"><span style="font-family: arial;"><div dir="auto"></div><blockquote><div dir="auto">This will be one of only 10 physical volumes on my gaming shelf ... worthy of being elevated beyond a PDF on my hard drive.</div><div dir="auto">-<span class="x3nfvp2"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x x4zkp8e x676frb x1nxh6w3 x1sibtaa x1s688f xzsf02u" dir="auto"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/oldschoolessentials/posts/1954283691653089/?comment_id=1954370591644399">Bill Littlefield</a></span></span> </div></blockquote><div dir="auto"><span class="x3nfvp2"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x x4zkp8e x676frb x1nxh6w3 x1sibtaa x1s688f xzsf02u" dir="auto"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/oldschoolessentials/posts/1954283691653089/?comment_id=1954370591644399"></a></span></span></div></span></div></span></div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/rtBZBlVhxdo" width="320" youtube-src-id="rtBZBlVhxdo"></iframe></span></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /><br /></span><p></p>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-5355163212656079942023-11-07T21:53:00.002-07:002023-11-07T22:00:05.256-07:00Kidnap the Kaiser!<p><span style="font-family: arial;">In January of 1919, eight men conspired to kidnap <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilhelm_II#">Wilhelm II</a>, the abdicated Kaiser. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">History is full of events that beggar belief. This is one of them. It's usually portrayed as an amusing footnote or a drunken prank that got out of hand. But it was, despite the silliness, a deadly serious, if not particularly well-thought-out, plan. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It is also the most American thing that has ever happened. </span></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"You will have to understand also that this kidnap attempt was engineered entirely by Tennesseans, whose history encourages them to treasure a tradition of direct and violent action."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-T. H. Alexander, <i>'They Tried to Capture the Kaiser,'</i> Saturday Evening Post, 23 October 1937</span></p></blockquote><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsnc9BPCsAmzM5XsSZYm6cCPONMu9NDl0Id7XowJ6puqNozb61A35iK2z7euGtwCrSh-uu4xdGdKvjmenoJhynAMN37mL74uD6oscz5H4DZHzYfvp_2MxYqcHFzWp8zHiTOde28Fcl0qMfrLJBBWfD0Vk1dZR_Lbtxbi26LIzPd-To6bs1dzecJdUhVXc/s640/66_10-MacPhail-Kaiser.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><img border="0" data-original-height="514" data-original-width="640" height="514" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsnc9BPCsAmzM5XsSZYm6cCPONMu9NDl0Id7XowJ6puqNozb61A35iK2z7euGtwCrSh-uu4xdGdKvjmenoJhynAMN37mL74uD6oscz5H4DZHzYfvp_2MxYqcHFzWp8zHiTOde28Fcl0qMfrLJBBWfD0Vk1dZR_Lbtxbi26LIzPd-To6bs1dzecJdUhVXc/w640-h514/66_10-MacPhail-Kaiser.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Front row: Capt. Leland S. MacPhail, Col. Luke Lea,<br />Cap. Thomas P. Henderson, 1st Lt. Ellsworth Brown<br />Back row: Sgt. Dan Reilly, Sgt. Egbert O. Hail,<br />Sgt. Owen Johnston, Cpl. Marmaduke P. Clokey<br /><a href="https://sharetngov.tnsosfiles.com/tsla/exhibits/veterans/ww1.htm">Source</a><br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><h1 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Part 1: Colonel Luke Lea and His Magnificent Seven</span></h1><p><span style="font-family: arial;">At first, I thought it was a tall tale. After twenty years or more, memories can be a bit fuzzy. If all I had to go on was <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luke_Lea_(American_politician,_born_1879)">Luke Lea</a>'s unpublished memoir notes and a few interviews in weekend papers, I probably wouldn't believe this story.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Luckily, the incomparable William Schabas went through the archives. As an amusing diversion in the middle of his book on early international law, <i><a href="https://academic.oup.com/book/26614">The Trial of the Kaiser</a></i>, he picked through the corroborating documents, diaries, official inquires, telegrams, and memoirs. <i>It all really happened</i>.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The first trip ended in failure.</span></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The first trip to capture the Kaiser took place from December 24 to 28, 1918. It met defeat under the handicaps of hunger, cold, five-dollars-per-gallon gasoline, and finally, lack of Dutch passports, ending before the barbed-wire entanglements of the Dutch border patrol.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-T. H. Alexander, <i>'They Tried to Capture the Kaiser,'</i> Saturday Evening Post, 23 October 1937</span></p></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">But the second trip came far closer to success than, on the face of it, it any right to. </span></p><p></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I had selected to accompany me on that trip three officers: Captains Thomas P. Henderson and Leland S. McPhail and Lieutenant Ellsworth Brown. Captain Henderson, commander of Battery "F" had been my life long friend. . . . Captain McPhail, a talented and brilliant officer, commander of Battery "B", was as resourceful as only an American can be, and an accomplished linguist. Lieutenant Ellsworth Brown, the communication officer of the regiment had become a radio expert. Three enlisted men were chosen. Marmaduke Clokey, who had been my motorcycle orderly throughout our service at the front, I knew from experience. Clokey was absolutely fearless and as cool under fire as he was sitting around a table staring into a full house with kings up. Sergeant Dan Reilly was the second. Reilly, my loyal soldier then and my devoted friend today, had been in charge of our telephone detail. He was naturally an expert radio, telephone and auto mechanic. Another loyal soldier, Sergeant Owen Johnston was the third. Johnston was not only a good soldier, but an unusual jack-of-all trades in that he was good at all.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I advised no member of the party the nature or destination of the trip. I told them I had a five day leave and asked if they wished to accompany me. The trip might be dangerous! It would certainly be exciting. All wished to join me. None asked any questions except the hour and place of departure</span></p></blockquote><p></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">-Luke Lea and William T. Alderson, '<i>The Attempt to Capture the Kaiser’</i> (1961) 20 Tennessee Historical Quarterly 222</span></blockquote><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Ordinarily, you'd expect a mad officer, a few friends along for the ride, and some cynical press-ganged NCOs who are keeping them out of trouble, but Lea had raised the all-volunteer 114th Field Artillery Regiment himself. These were his Good Old Boys, his praetorian guard.</span></p><p></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;"> Lea organized a volunteer regiment, later to become the 114th Field
Artillery, and was commissioned a lieutenant-colonel and later a colonel
in command of the regiment. This Tennessee volunteer outfit served ten
months in France, and it fought in the Meuse-Argonne and St. Mihiel
drives that helped break the Hindenburg line. For his role in the war,
Lea was awarded the Distinguished Service Medal. <br /></span></blockquote><p></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">-<a href="https://sharetngov.tnsosfiles.com/tsla/exhibits/veterans/ww1.htm ">Tennessee State Library and Archives </a></span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://sharetngov.tnsosfiles.com/tsla/exhibits/veterans/ww1.htm "></a></span><p></p> <p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">And they knew exactly what they were getting into.</span></p><p></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Lea later claimed that the others in his team knew nothing of his plan to kidnap the Kaiser or even to visit <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amerongen">Amerongen</a>. In fact, before the army disciplinary inquiry into the mission, Lea suggested that he had not even contemplated visiting the Kaiser. The whole idea came to him after entering Holland a few days later, he lied. But in an interview with <i>The New Yorker</i> in 1941, Larry MacPhail confessed that all of them were in on the plot from the beginning. ‘We’ll nab the old gentleman, fellows, and we’ll turn him over to the United States Government’, said Lea in his briefing at the outset of the trip. ‘They’ll be legally obliged to string him up.’</span></blockquote><p></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;"> -<span class="contributors">William A. </span>Schabas,<span class="contributors"> '</span><span class="mainTitle"><i class="inner">The Trial of the Kaiser'</i></span> (<span class="print-publication-date">2018), Oxford.</span> See also Robert Lewis Taylor, <i>‘Profiles, Borough Defender—II’</i>, The New Yorker, 12 July 1941, p. 21</span></p></blockquote><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjjHKuCBc3FiGC74lq0Bn_BE3BRaQUSCGsHb29zXm2QXAi0t1Ieev9loo55_Wa70zhUYxZGi1zpPYBrjh0MhyzdoJOJcf30b1kLQGKivXFOUFyx3IscOkGfM8xsOjiLXxc9eht7u4WVVtbbBw1sFR3Or8Wj6MXrwYqKEcDIz2yBcm4DfaUEU0rr_vTzRc/s1880/Route%20Image%201.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1251" data-original-width="1880" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjjHKuCBc3FiGC74lq0Bn_BE3BRaQUSCGsHb29zXm2QXAi0t1Ieev9loo55_Wa70zhUYxZGi1zpPYBrjh0MhyzdoJOJcf30b1kLQGKivXFOUFyx3IscOkGfM8xsOjiLXxc9eht7u4WVVtbbBw1sFR3Or8Wj6MXrwYqKEcDIz2yBcm4DfaUEU0rr_vTzRc/w640-h426/Route%20Image%201.png" width="640" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">We started on a cold December afternoon from Luxemburg for Liege in Belgium where we expected to be able to secure passports to cross from a point near Liege, Belgium, into neutral Holland. Then I intended to drive directly to Amerongen. <br /></span></p></blockquote><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The seven of us were loaded with our blanket rolls and an extra supply of gasoline into a seven passenger Winton car. It was the regimental car. It had been the heel of an Achillean regiment throughout its service at the front. The Winton furnished variety. It always needed repairs but never twice in the same place until a complete cycle of repairs had been passed. It had sixteen punctures one night when it was transporting our regimental surgeon, Major Larkin Smith, the oldest man in the regiment from Wormbey to St. Reney on our march around Verdun to our new position in the Meuse Argonne.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Winton ran true to form the first evening of our trip to visit the Kaiser. It had not gone thirty kilometers until it blew up, both literally and figuratively speaking. Luckily, an American corp truck soon passed us and we put Clokey on it with instructions to bring us the regimental car of the 115th F.A. with whom we were brigaded. At that time the commanding officer of that regiment was my own Lieutenant Colonel James A. Gleason. A truer and abler soldier and a more typical Irishman never lived than Gleason. I told Clokey to tell Gleason that I wanted to use his car for five days and Gleason would give it to him. Gleason resembled Theodore Roosevelt in action as far as a friend was concerned. He always did what the friend wanted and then found a reason for doing it. About midnight Clokey, as I had confidently expected, returned with the 115th regimental car, a splendid eight cylinder Cadillac.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Clokey brought more than the car. With him was Egbert Hail, the son of one of the leading business men at home, the 115th regimental chauffeur, a good soldier and an absolutely fearless man. In the meantime Reilly and Johnston had succeeded in repairing the Winton until it was again in running condition. The trip was then resumed. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In the army during active service there was little, if any difference, between night and day. The Armistice had been of too recent a date to change our habits. We drove all night and about seven the next morning eight completely frozen American soldiers arrived at Liege.</span></p></blockquote><p></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">-Luke Lea and William T. Alderson, '<i>The Attempt to Capture the Kaiser’</i> (1961) 20 Tennessee Historical Quarterly 222 </span></blockquote><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Lea neglects to mention that the men carried pistols under their seats,
along with the usual array of blunt objects found in cars of that
period. (The Trial of the Kaiser, pg. 84).</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">No company has ever produced, as far as I can tell, a model of the Winton Six Limousine or the much more popular Cadillac Type 57. Such a shame. <a href="https://icm.com.ua">ICM</a>, <a href="https://miniart-models.com/">MiniArt</a>, or <a href="https://www.copperstatemodels.com/">Copper State Models</a> could <i>easily </i>make a bestselling diorama set from this story. There are plenty of reference photos online. While the Winton was a rare beast, the Cadillac Type 57 saw service with <a href="https://canadianarmsandarmour.ca/early-cadillac-cars-in-canadian-service/">everyone</a>.</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilYoYDUmcFWJHhQzS5fW88PkBrUY5LnL7CRxMb4O0DYttuepwl-cBQEHwN8O7Yhss-N-dm3sRwWdFznRQBkfSXKOgU6eFHNJoiVtMptx-cepggQv1wydb9Kx7JWENcoh4LKtREkrPfcq4xVxQgoKCP39hxhMEN3lxEvsBLqi4KnQTT5CneOW3i8HUhr-M/s1024/service-pnp-habshaer-wa-wa0900-wa0922-color-581731cv.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="819" data-original-width="1024" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilYoYDUmcFWJHhQzS5fW88PkBrUY5LnL7CRxMb4O0DYttuepwl-cBQEHwN8O7Yhss-N-dm3sRwWdFznRQBkfSXKOgU6eFHNJoiVtMptx-cepggQv1wydb9Kx7JWENcoh4LKtREkrPfcq4xVxQgoKCP39hxhMEN3lxEvsBLqi4KnQTT5CneOW3i8HUhr-M/w640-h512/service-pnp-habshaer-wa-wa0900-wa0922-color-581731cv.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.loc.gov/item/wa0922/">1918 Cadillac 57</a></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQensKW0_TJJuJUMmTGHVlXewzc2I3PyItv2DHfhAoCe4F2hpo7dnNvQpfoSvJhQDtLn0kCbJzJqENB2V4T7DGOlNQ31zGYVTWJ1REFkz5Mh92wteO-vfEq1FS92Mu2J7Fh1JmJyhswEEEAmw51i7h-uWJ24BnN9NLupuj3hVDygdiaQnDMNdReV4rP9E/s450/1917-winton-6-33-dsf.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="289" data-original-width="450" height="412" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQensKW0_TJJuJUMmTGHVlXewzc2I3PyItv2DHfhAoCe4F2hpo7dnNvQpfoSvJhQDtLn0kCbJzJqENB2V4T7DGOlNQ31zGYVTWJ1REFkz5Mh92wteO-vfEq1FS92Mu2J7Fh1JmJyhswEEEAmw51i7h-uWJ24BnN9NLupuj3hVDygdiaQnDMNdReV4rP9E/w640-h412/1917-winton-6-33-dsf.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">1917 Winton Six. The model used by the kidnappers may have had an <a href="https://www.alamy.com/stock-image-1919-winton-six-tourer-164119881.html?imageid=E18F3D5C-DB2C-4026-847E-356AE746140B&p=1480&pn=1&searchId=46fb7afd00f3bf628980921cddecb146&searchtype=0">enclosed cab</a>.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /></span><p></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">After breakfast an amusing incident occurred. We wanted to fill the gasoline tanks of both cars at Liege so as not to draw upon our reserve supply. McPhail was acting as interpreter. He spoke French fluently and Belgian haltingly. He therefore used French at the Belgian army post where we were seeking to buy gasoline. There was no American army station or post at Liege. The Belgian officer objected to selling us gas unless we followed a certain red tape routine which required the approval of at least ten Belgian officials high and low. The routine would have consumed all of our leave. McPhail's reply, delivered in both perfect French, and broken Belgian for emphasis, was that if Americans had used all that red tape in deciding whether to come to Belgian's aid, the Germans would still be occupying Liege that day instead of the Belgians being back home and haggling over the sale to the Americans of a few gallons of gas. The thrust accomplished its purpose. Not only did the Belgian officer fill the tanks of both cars, but he flatly refused to take pay for it. This refusal by a European to take money was the first of two such occurrences that ever happened to me on four trips abroad, including nine months spent in France during the World War. The other also occurred on this trip into Holland.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">After a substantial breakfast at Liege, we motored to Maastricht to secure passports for our trip into Holland. Red tape has always been thick in Washington. It completely wrapped up the army administration in the States. It absolutely embalmed the Consular service until it was what it then was and what it is today, - a mummy. We were politely told that we would be lucky if we could secure passports in six weeks. Our statement that we had fewer days of leave than the weeks it would take to secure the passports brought only a European shrug of the shoulders. The interview was at an end. All consuls are career men at least in their manner. All career men are proud of their knowledge of European habits and that they have forgotten raw, crude American ways. We were determined not to abandon our objective. Therefore, we started almost immediately for Brussels to see Minister, later Ambassador, Whitlock.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I had known Brand Whitlock when President Wilson nominated him for Minister to Belgium. There was some opposition to his confirmation in the Senate. I had always admired his liberalism and his sincerity in public life. It had been a real privilege as a Senator from Tennessee to assist in and give support to his confirmation. I knew Brand Whitlock, unless he had changed, - unless he had become a career diplomat since he was abroad, - would cut the red tape necessary to give us immediately the necessary passports.</span></p></blockquote><p></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">-Luke Lea and William T. Alderson, '<i>The Attempt to Capture the Kaiser’</i> (1961) 20 Tennessee Historical Quarterly 222 </span></blockquote><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Colonel Lea seems to have been one of those people who knows someone in every town and at every level of society. </span></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">We had a long and cold drive and were completely frozen on our arrival at Brussels. We were instantly thawed by the warmth of the welcome by Brand Whitlock. He said he would secure the passports and have them signed as quickly as we could have the necessary photographs taken, but he would issue them only on one condition that our party would have dinner with him that night. His condition was joyously met by men who had lived on food out of tins for nearly five months. The photographs, such as they were, were taken and finished that afternoon and four ravenously hungry officers met the Minister at dinner that night. All of us did more than justice to a splendid American meal. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-Luke Lea and William T. Alderson, '<i>The Attempt to Capture the Kaiser’</i> (1961) 20 Tennessee Historical Quarterly 222</span></p></blockquote><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The overcoats of the officers were worn after a winter of service in the mud with their field pieces, so each member of the party had his picture made in Colonel Lea's resplendent new Army overcoat, passing it from hand to hand as each faced the camera. While they waited for the pictures to be developed, they took a busman's holiday and, fresh from eight months of active service in France, they visited the Battlefield of Waterloo.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-T. H. Alexander, <i>'They Tried to Capture the Kaiser,'</i> Saturday Evening Post, 23 October 1937</span></p></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Fate had more gifts for Colonel Lea. Whitlock's guest, scheduled far in advance of the Colonel's visit, was probably the one person in Brussels who could not only speed their entry into Holland, but shield them in an aura of official glory.<br /></span></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Minister Whitlock had as another guest that evening the Holland Ambassador to Belgium. I was introduced as a United States Senator as well as a Colonel. The Holland Ambassador seemed much impressed and insisted that we wait until nine the next morning as he desired to present us with a <i>laissez passer </i>in the name of Her Majesty, the Queen of Holland. I tried to impress the ambassador with the fact that I was no longer a Senator so as not to sail under false colors. I stated emphatically to him that I was only a lowly American Colonel.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">His reply made in jest was, "Once a senator always a senator - My dear Herr Colonel - Senator or shall I say Herr Senator Colonel?" </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Minister Whitlock urged us to stay for the <i>laissez passer</i> as he said we would save by it many hours more than the ten hours it delayed our departure from Brussels. A good night in bed was also another inducement. We spent the night in Brussels. Promptly at nine we presented ourselves at the Holland Embassy. The Ambassador had the <i>laissez passer</i> ready. He said he had been authorized by Her Majesty's Government at the Hague to issue it and it was a great pleasure to give us this key which would open all the official gates in Holland to us.</span></p></blockquote><p></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">-Luke Lea and William T. Alderson, '<i>The Attempt to Capture the Kaiser’</i> (1961) 20 Tennessee Historical Quarterly 222</span></blockquote><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">How Lea kept a straight face while accepting this document is a mystery. Maurice van Vollenhoven published his memoirs in 1954. Based on a fairly quick skim, I do not believe this adventure features in his reminiscences.</span></p><p></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Both Minister Whitlock and the Holland Ambassador seemed to be curious about our wanting to go into Holland. I told both that the object of our trip was "Journalistic Investigations," adding "That phrase covers a multitude of sins of omission at least." This phrase was used in the application for the passports. The <i>laissez passer</i>, as translated, read as follows:<br /></span><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">"Legation of Holland in Belgium<br />Valid for temporary free entrance and exit by motorcar<br /><br />The Minister-Resident of H.M. the Queen of Holland has the honor of requesting the Custom and Excise Officers in Holland to give, when passing custom examination, all facilities permitted by the existing regulations, to the most honorable Senator Colonel Luke Lea, who is proceeding to Holland (and return by motorcar, on official duty from the U.S. Government accompanied by five other members of the mission in uniform.)<br /> Brussels, January 4th,1919<br /><br />The Minister-Resident<br />(signed) Van Nollshm."</span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">-Luke Lea and William T. Alderson, '<i>The Attempt to Capture the Kaiser’</i> (1961) 20 Tennessee Historical Quarterly 222</span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Note that the Saturday Evening Post has "Signed Von Nollehm." Evidently Maurice van Vollenhoven's signature was not particularly legible.<br /></span><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM9FEErNGY-FrBgbjcjGG0lM0VL2OqkdrkkTV4guHCsg9D4UuqGK905O_01CtaPQFfXQf4zudkgEMoeQwMcsSI7W43O8Sm8AZ7KgsD45NyTbCO7Nvot5ohzEuZRaQs0be3Paoy-DjvfMqGBobxAWAlIi02Y_QxiD3zoUOHhPClXjAWEGt8VfJn1brBza4/s1152/Route%20Image%202.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1152" data-original-width="1132" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM9FEErNGY-FrBgbjcjGG0lM0VL2OqkdrkkTV4guHCsg9D4UuqGK905O_01CtaPQFfXQf4zudkgEMoeQwMcsSI7W43O8Sm8AZ7KgsD45NyTbCO7Nvot5ohzEuZRaQs0be3Paoy-DjvfMqGBobxAWAlIi02Y_QxiD3zoUOHhPClXjAWEGt8VfJn1brBza4/w628-h640/Route%20Image%202.png" width="628" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><p></p><p></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">With a passport in his pocket describing him as a Senator of the United States who was on ‘official business’, and a<i> laissez-passe</i>r issued by the Dutch mission in Brussels authorising travel in uniform, Lea and his group returned to Liège, picking up the Winton along the way. A snowstorm had made the roads to the north impassable, and they spent the night in the Belgian city. Finally, on the morning of 5 January, they reached the Dutch border near Maastricht, not far from where the Kaiser himself had crossed not quite two months earlier.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">‘No American officers are wanted or permitted in Holland’, said the border guard to the seven uniformed men. Lea brandished the l<i>aissez- passer</i>. ‘No trick of Houdini’s ever created the astonishment my producing Her Majesty’s <i>laissez passer </i>did’, recalled Lea in his memoir. ‘Brusqueness, gruffness and rudeness gave place immediately to courtesy and consideration.’ The guard promptly saluted and waved them through.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">They proceeded north to Nijmegen, where one of the cars broke down in the public square. While it was being repaired, the Americans stopped at the Hotel de Kroon.There they encountered a Dutch teenager with a smattering of English who claimed to know the way to Amerongen. Constant Boetter, whom the Americans nicknamed ‘Hans’, was hired as a guide and interpreter.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><span class="contributors">-William A. </span>Schabas,<span class="contributors"> '</span><span class="mainTitle"><i class="inner">The Trial of the Kaiser'</i></span> (<span class="print-publication-date">2018), Oxford.</span> </span></p></blockquote><p></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">At about dusk we encountered the first major disappointment of the trip. A bridge over a branch of the Rhine had washed away. We had to secure passage on a ferry to cross it. This would also have been impossible except for our <i>laissez passer</i>. It opened the ferry gates but even it was not powerful enough to enable us to make the necessary trade with the management. We desired to have the ferry remain on the Northern side of the river from eight thirty until we returned. We had already made arrangements at a nearby town for the Belgian guard to pass both our cars into Germany without halting us.<br /><br />We tried in vain to bargain for the ferry to remain on the Northern side of the river from eight thirty P.M. until we returned. The failure to find a bridge across the river or to induce the ferry to wait on the Amerongen side of the river made a necessary change in plans.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I had hoped by a surprise visit to be able to place the Kaiser in the Cadillac. If we had succeeded in that nothing could have pre- vented our taking William Hohenzollern all the way to Paris and presenting him as a New Year's gift to President Wilson.</span></p></blockquote><p></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">-Luke Lea and William T. Alderson, '<i>The Attempt to Capture the Kaiser’</i> (1961) 20 Tennessee Historical Quarterly 222</span></blockquote><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Lea is not exaggerating the problem. Based on <a href="https://archive.org/details/belgiumhollan00karl/page/n7/mode/2up?view=theater">squinting at some old maps</a>, the absent road bridge at Nijmegen was probably the only proper road bridge along the Waal in 1919. They <i>could </i>have crossed the <a href="https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoorbrug_Nijmegen">railway bridge at Nijmegen</a> or diverted to <a href="https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._W._Hupkesbrug">the railway bridge at Zaltbommel</a>, but that's about it. The world was still a rail-dominated place. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Could a Cadillac Type 55 have survived a journey across a rail bridge? Probably (although the Smithsonian refuses to let me test this theory). The spaces between the sleepers might be packed with snow from the recent snowstorm. There were level crossings at both ends of the bridge. If they tried it during the day, they'd almost certainly be spotted and intercepted, but they'd be trying it at night, in tolerably poor weather.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Would President Wilson have appreciated his Christmas present? Almost certainly not. We'll get to that later.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMSMCYdg28XXxSoZ3touB6zGVfz5_uGrRNkzRDDjuFpG7mAPyJS_q8yRf_uoK9WbsxOk3qsTRTfI1xGJv6cJQMEhsfyZQho6v6nmlMpVSe7ucEqObM2Zazd3gAHDB4L8wV87VhGsridWZwuz59OoSZX9YF8v-Nvit41F0U_Qap79G6ZiHhEenvJkjhAAo/s2057/Route%20Image%203.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1150" data-original-width="2057" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMSMCYdg28XXxSoZ3touB6zGVfz5_uGrRNkzRDDjuFpG7mAPyJS_q8yRf_uoK9WbsxOk3qsTRTfI1xGJv6cJQMEhsfyZQho6v6nmlMpVSe7ucEqObM2Zazd3gAHDB4L8wV87VhGsridWZwuz59OoSZX9YF8v-Nvit41F0U_Qap79G6ZiHhEenvJkjhAAo/w640-h358/Route%20Image%203.png" width="640" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><h1 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Part 2: The King of the Castle</span></h1><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">At 8.30 in the evening on 5 January, the American soldiers arrived at Amerongen. Their pistols were concealed under the seats of the cars. They were given direction by a townsman on the way to Bentinck’s castle. A sentry awaited them at the entrance to the grounds. Lea thought him to be ‘unmis- takably’ a German soldier because of his military bearing, although the guard wore a Dutch uniform. Lea shone his flashlight not on the sentry, but on himself, so as to indicate his Sam Browne belt, ‘the insignia of the rank of an officer in all armies’. Lea had studied German at university and had some re- cent practice interrogating prisoners of war. He used the language to call the sentry to attention. The guard dutifully obliged, clicking his heels, and saluted. To the astonishment of the other Americans, in his workable German Lea successfully ordered the obedient sentry to take them to the castle. However, they were not escorted to the castle proper, but to the lodge of the manager of the estate. While Lieutenant Brown and the non-commissioned officers waited with the vehicles, Lea, Henderson, and MacPhail, accompanied by ‘Hans’ the interpreter, entered the lodge.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><span class="contributors">-William A. </span>Schabas,<span class="contributors"> '</span><span class="mainTitle"><i class="inner">The Trial of the Kaiser'</i></span> (<span class="print-publication-date">2018), Oxford.</span> </span></p></blockquote><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg8UIY6cJ3Uvua5ULSbMs755LgL2aRqbA8-pb7o3rN_SqZjUQhljuWYlGiR-Nc6f270Skg2ECmd_PQPAthRDYknSbIldPl_ZbxPhDowf2tujaOTgDFtUG0BCBY4f9GGHvBZVjgvfHGPsCy65wrJe5l_mY5aQlQ_ekfv8JcHBs2ETD_QLF87g2MI9tcjrA/s3500/NIMH_-_2011_-_0805_-_Aerial_photograph_of_Amerongen,_The_Netherlands_-_1920_-_1940.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2557" data-original-width="3500" height="468" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg8UIY6cJ3Uvua5ULSbMs755LgL2aRqbA8-pb7o3rN_SqZjUQhljuWYlGiR-Nc6f270Skg2ECmd_PQPAthRDYknSbIldPl_ZbxPhDowf2tujaOTgDFtUG0BCBY4f9GGHvBZVjgvfHGPsCy65wrJe5l_mY5aQlQ_ekfv8JcHBs2ETD_QLF87g2MI9tcjrA/w640-h468/NIMH_-_2011_-_0805_-_Aerial_photograph_of_Amerongen,_The_Netherlands_-_1920_-_1940.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amerongen#/media/File:NIMH_-_2011_-_0805_-_Aerial_photograph_of_Amerongen,_The_Netherlands_-_1920_-_1940.jpg"><span style="font-family: arial;">Source</span></a></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The only road is on the right side of the image. The "lodge" is one of the three buildings on the lower right.<br /></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2VjFAS1fXfJBqzhcZrScIqPrgc_kiA9qXcpIoP_pCYtbuIuLqyL72NsIuNTmTMEzo51voHDcuyQlbGsT5huOJ3wWk1i3oIgUseAGQQesMyxUrlGXGIX0sWThPY3OCKrCKixhVBGQ5rZeKfp7upFzaCQ5s17lm_4txDSxzk57Qr8Z8Ff5nqwn90G7LmdA/s1200/Koetshuis_en_bijgebouwen_-_Amerongen_-_20369880_-_RCE.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><img border="0" data-original-height="803" data-original-width="1200" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2VjFAS1fXfJBqzhcZrScIqPrgc_kiA9qXcpIoP_pCYtbuIuLqyL72NsIuNTmTMEzo51voHDcuyQlbGsT5huOJ3wWk1i3oIgUseAGQQesMyxUrlGXGIX0sWThPY3OCKrCKixhVBGQ5rZeKfp7upFzaCQ5s17lm_4txDSxzk57Qr8Z8Ff5nqwn90G7LmdA/w640-h428/Koetshuis_en_bijgebouwen_-_Amerongen_-_20369880_-_RCE.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Koetshuis_en_bijgebouwen_-_Amerongen_-_20369880_-_RCE.jpg"><span style="font-family: arial;">Source</span></a></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Apparently," said MacPhail, "Lea's original plan had been to get inside the castle as quickly as possible, without anyone's leave, grab the Kaiser, and make off with him. But all the 'official' stuff that the Minister had arranged made him pause and he decided on a slight change of plans."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Instead of cooling off the sentry we expected to find at Amerongen with a tyre iron and just barging in, and possibly having to hit other people over the head before we could snatch the Kaiser, Lea decided now to make things very formal. He would show all his wonderful papers, ask for an interview, with the Kaiser and then 'persuade' him to come along."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-<a href="https://trove.nla.gov.au/newspaper/article/18504243"><i>'He Tried to Kidnap the Kaiser', </i>The Sunday Herald, 26 June 1953</a>.</span></p></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">McPhail says that the group cut all the castle's telephone wires before confronting the sentry. Lea's biography makes no mention of this, just as he doesn't mention the group's weapons. </span></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Kaiser Wilhelm, Count Godard Bentinck, and his family and guests were just finishing dinner when a servant interrupted them to announce the arrival of a party of American officers on an official visit to see the former Emperor. Carlos Bentinck, one of the Count’s sons, in full dinner dress, a tailcoat and white tie, went to meet the Americans. Carlos Bentinck was a Dutch diplomat, recently ‘posted’ by the Foreign Ministry to Amerongen in order to help his father manage the distinguished houseguest. Throughout the encounters that evening, Bentinck sought to deal with the matter in such a way as to avoid conflict or provocation. He described Lea as a man of ‘large stature’ who introduced himself as ‘Colonel Senator Luke Lea’. The young Dutch interpreter swooned, awestruck by this encounter with nobility. Lea had him taken back to one of the cars. Lea himself was rather less impressed. He thought the young Count Bentinck affected mannerisms of the Kaiser, noting his upturned moustache</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Dutch aristocrat spoke to them in English. Lea introduced himself and the other American officers. He said they had come to meet the Kaiser, but that they would only explain the real purpose of the visit to the former Emperor himself. According to Lea, Bentinck appeared disturbed and excited. The young Count excused himself and returned to consult with the Kaiser<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">While they were waiting for Bentinck to return, a butler offered the Americans water to drink and cigars. Lea speculated that Bentinck was sensitive to American attitudes about alcoholic drinks and didn’t want to cause offence by serving liquor.When Henderson complained about the water, the butler fetched a bottle of champagne. Upon his return, Bentinck informed Lea that ‘His August Majesty’ was only prepared to meet with the American party if they first declared the purpose of their visit. He also told them that they could not enter the castle itself without the permission of the Governor of Utrecht. They were joined at this point by the mayor or burgemeester of Amerongen, Rudolf Everhard Willem van Weede, who was also dining with the Kaiser. To a few remarks in Lea’s rudimentary German, Van Weede responded in ‘beautiful, fluent, Bostonian English’. ‘Colonel Lea, I am sure we will progress more rapidly speaking in English’, he said in a patronising tone. ‘I am a graduate of Harvard University.’</span></p></blockquote><p></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;"><span class="contributors">-William A. </span>Schabas,<span class="contributors"> '</span><span class="mainTitle"><i class="inner">The Trial of the Kaiser'</i></span> (<span class="print-publication-date">2018), Oxford.</span> </span></blockquote><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">McPhail provides a different interpretation of the meeting.</span></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"The general was agreeable to arranging an interview with the Kaiser, at which ostensibly we were to transmit to him important information. But von Bentinck, more suspicious, excused himself to go and speak with his Majesty. Actually he left the room in order to telephone the Hague and check on us." </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"When he discovered that the line had been cut, he sent a runner out the back door to summon the burgomaster and the military commandant. Then he came back and parlayed with us, killing time."</span></p></blockquote><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-T. H. Alexander, <i>'They Tried to Capture the Kaiser,'</i> Saturday Evening Post, 23 October 1937</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Lea produced the <i>laissez-passer</i> that had been issued in Brussels. Carlos Bentinck later told a representative of the American embassy that when Lea brandished the <i>laissez-passer</i>, he said: ‘This will explain.’ At the inquiry following the visit, Lea contended that he knew nothing of the contents of the <i>laissez-passer</i>, which was written in Dutch, an explanation the Judge Advocate General accepted. But in his memoir, Lea claimed he produced the document in order to give ‘an official colour to our presence’. The <i>laissez-passer</i> made an immediate impression, ‘even upon the blasé Bentinck and the Harvardised burgomaster’, Lea recalled.</span></p></blockquote><p></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;"><span class="contributors">-William A. </span>Schabas,<span class="contributors"> '</span><span class="mainTitle"><i class="inner">The Trial of the Kaiser'</i></span> (<span class="print-publication-date">2018), Oxford.</span> </span></blockquote><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It was astonishing bit of bluff, but it did him no good. Negotiations broke down. </span></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Addressing me the Burgomaster continued. "His Majesty has been unwilling to refuse to meet you and your officers lest you be here officially. His Majesty has done me the honor to instruct me to say that if you, Colonel Lea, will make the statement on your word of honor as an American officerthat you are here as the representative of President Wilson, or of General Pershing, or 'even' of Colonel House, he will grant you a brief audience. Otherwise His Majesty will decline to grant any audience to any uninvited persons no matterin what form they seek it. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I was willing to go to any length within the bounds of truth,no matter what the consequences might be to see the Kaiser and accomplish the object of our mission. I was, of course, unwilling to make a false statement. We were not there officially. We represented no one. I replied that I was not in the Castle as a representative of President Wilson, General Pershing, or "even" Colonel House. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-Luke Lea and William T. Alderson, '<i>The Attempt to Capture the Kaiser’</i> (1961) 20 Tennessee Historical Quarterly 222</span></p></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">After a bit more verbal sparring, the group decided to leave. <br /></span></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Before we knew it, the castle was surrounded by Dutch troops headed by an officer and the burgomaster."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-<i>'He Tried to Kidnap the Kaiser', </i>The Sunday Herald, 26 June 1953.</span></p></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The group marched out, did not ask for permission to leave, and drove off.</span></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">As I had feared when we had found the ferry instead of a bridge over the Rhine river, the ferry was on the far side of the river. We had great difficulty in signaling it and arranging for it to come across and ferry us to the other side. A delay of nearly a half hour occurred. It was well past midnight when we were on the opposite side of the river from Amerongen. I thought it advisable here for the party to separate. I knew that one car could get across the border into Germany and return to Luxemburg that way because I had arranged for the passage, across the border into Germany when I had hoped to be host to the Kaiser on the return trip. The other was necessarily forced to return through Holland as we had promised to leave the Dutch interpreter at Maastrecht. It was part of our bargain.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-Luke Lea and William T. Alderson, '<i>The Attempt to Capture the Kaiser’</i> (1961) 20 Tennessee Historical Quarterly 222</span></p></blockquote><p></p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOGQyX7DBUk-FFCwWLbOfwUdTXa66rON5RT8TRk2vfFm58uAsY1sipR4d0CHW9exXVDarSBnv5ENOCr7Xw3YkmqU4_Mk4uT8rsaUaJWYrQfodPd5gy0PjA4fRpDRd1mOcInZQ3KH7h36U_DRyTvxgsFtxN_79LEu6wLcIjcPJx1X01H2KaMlZaRJ_bP_s/s1350/67_102.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1350" data-original-width="1088" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOGQyX7DBUk-FFCwWLbOfwUdTXa66rON5RT8TRk2vfFm58uAsY1sipR4d0CHW9exXVDarSBnv5ENOCr7Xw3YkmqU4_Mk4uT8rsaUaJWYrQfodPd5gy0PjA4fRpDRd1mOcInZQ3KH7h36U_DRyTvxgsFtxN_79LEu6wLcIjcPJx1X01H2KaMlZaRJ_bP_s/w516-h640/67_102.jpg" width="516" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">1st Sergeant J. C. “Dog” Ward, 114th Field Artillery, 1918<br />Sergeant Ward was not a member of the kidnapping party, but I think he captures the spirit of the114th Field Artillery.<br /><a href="https://sharetngov.tnsosfiles.com/tsla/exhibits/veterans/ww1.htm">Source</a>.</span></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The journey home was not entirely without incident.</span></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">As soon as I was in the back of the Winton I followed Hail's example before the Kaiser's castle and proceeded to take quite an extensive nap. I was rudely awakened by a loud noise and a terrific jolt. For a moment in a sleepy half-dazed condition I imagined we had run afoul of the entire Dutch army. Instead I found that Reilly had followed his commanding officer's suit. He had gone to sleep while driving.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Winton being somewhat of a steeple chaser had attempted to hurdle a two-story house just off the road. To our great surprise no damage was done to the car beyond a smashed fender and bumper. We found we were on the edge of a small Dutch village. In less time than it takes to tell it a Dutch head, crowned with an old fashioned night cap, was poked out of the window of every nearby<br />house. The night air was rendered hideous by various raucous Dutch exclamations none of which we were able to understand. The tones of the many voices in which they were uttered convinced us, even before our interpreter began to interpret, that we were again "unwelcome guests."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">[...]</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In a heavy fog which enveloped nearly every vale on the road Dan struck a young man riding a bicycle of ancient vintage. The man was knocked off the wheel but was on his feet before any member of our party reached him. All of us rushed back to render first aid if he was injured. He stated to our delight he was not hurt, his bicycle was only slightly damaged and the accident was his fault as he was on the wrong side of the highway. Nevertheless to avoid the possibility of our being delayed at the next town to be ques- tioned about the accident I pushed a twenty franc note into his hands. He looked hungrily at it a moment, blushed, and aped J. Ceasar. He refused the offer three times. Thus we saved both our manners and francs by encountering a new, hitherto unknown species of European man, - one probably completely extinct in these materialistic days.</span></p></blockquote><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-Luke Lea and William T. Alderson, '<i>The Attempt to Capture the Kaiser’</i> (1961) 20 Tennessee Historical Quarterly 222</span></p></blockquote><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">To celebrate these famous historical events, American tourists still crash into walls and cyclists all over the Netherlands.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">McPhail took the Cadillac and returned by a different route, through occupied Germany, and therefore took a different and more exciting border crossing. The Saturday Evening Post seems a bit confused on this point.<br /></span></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The cars crossed into Belgium (sic) without the formality of stopping. Lights were turned off and accelerators pressed hard down. Shots were fired by the frontier guards, but nobody was hit.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-T. H. Alexander, <i>'They Tried to Capture the Kaiser,'</i> Saturday Evening Post, 23 October 1937</span></p></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The rest of the tale is an anticlimax. The group returned to the Regiment, though Colonel Lea had a few adventures along the way, including bluffing his way into the Peace Conference. A court of inquiry let him off with less than a slap on the wrist, thanks to the lack of harm done, Lea's half-truths and outright lies, and a few clever legal arguments. The whole affair was a mild embarrassment. Just some drunken American souvenir-hunters with more daring than sense, who worried but amused the Kaiser and stole his ashtray. By March he was back in America, along with his regiment.</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2SHGszuHPyDwE-0xS05RtEaFGX7oIo8aJRwPtUGmBM6PHCfs-SZppOESYIEAwiRCswmMq_uUpEiVXKucPt8YZ_sttVJPGByyGPxLtCm4BwloNITijnRvpfbcJ9rQ9eFTop6wpM8Hg7I9hb0SyzQ1baa6qJGtCia9wuassHB7r-qpY4xLWeZ3ZDgafqs8/s1350/30583.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><img border="0" data-original-height="782" data-original-width="1350" height="370" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2SHGszuHPyDwE-0xS05RtEaFGX7oIo8aJRwPtUGmBM6PHCfs-SZppOESYIEAwiRCswmMq_uUpEiVXKucPt8YZ_sttVJPGByyGPxLtCm4BwloNITijnRvpfbcJ9rQ9eFTop6wpM8Hg7I9hb0SyzQ1baa6qJGtCia9wuassHB7r-qpY4xLWeZ3ZDgafqs8/w640-h370/30583.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">American troops, probably including the 114th Artillery Regiment, sailing home aboard the USS Finland, March of 1919<br /><a href="https://sharetngov.tnsosfiles.com/tsla/exhibits/veterans/ww1.htm">Source</a></span></td></tr></tbody></table><h1 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Part 3: What If?</span></h1><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The shambolic kidnap attempt by Luke Lea and his cohorts could have succeeded. Difficult as it is to imagine, the spectacle of the fallen Prussian monarch being delivered by an American army staff car to a hotel in Paris is not outside the realm of possibility.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><span class="contributors">-William A. </span>Schabas,<span class="contributors"> '</span><span class="mainTitle"><i class="inner">The Trial of the Kaiser'</i></span> (<span class="print-publication-date">2018), Oxford.</span> </span></p></blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Edmund: You see, there was a <i>tiny </i>flaw in the plan.<br />George: What was that, sir?<br />Edmund: It was bollocks. </span></blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">-Blackadder Goes Forth</span></blockquote><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Lea plays up the humourous aspect of his scheme, but it was, for all its faults, an operation undertaken with deadly seriousness. It <i>could </i>have worked. Sure, if it failed, eight uniformed pistol-wielding Americans would have assassinated the Kaiser on the soil of a neutral country... but they were going to hang him anyway, right? And nobody volunteers for the army expecting to live forever.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The ferry crossing over the Waal is a major obstacle. If the group had to wait half an hour on the bank for the ferry to cross and pick them up, the Dutch army would almost certainly catch them. If they used the rail bridge (and especially if their pursuit didn't know they'd used the rail bridge) they could easily cross into occupied Germany ahead of their pursuers. <br /></span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Same arrival time at <span class="mw-mmv-title">Amerongen Castle </span> (~8:30 pm). </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Fortifying drinks (as the group seems to have been sober for their actual attempt, which may have diminished their enthusiasm). For want of a bottle of brandy and a bridge, the Kaiser escaped.<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Knock the sentry over the head with a tire iron and tie him up (or tip the body into the moat; tire irons are no joke).</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Drive into the courtyard.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Leave the unreliable Winton near the lodge. Drive the Cadillac to the bridge connecting the courtyard to the castle.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">March up to the door (no weapons visible).</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Convince someone inside to open the door, probably with schoolboy German and the use of the official-looking<i> laissez-passer</i>. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Do not stop moving for any reason. Call the guards bluff (are they <i>really</i> going to shoot a high-ranking American carrying an official document and speaking in a calm tone?) </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Point revolvers at the Kaiser and his dinner guests. It's unclear from the various accounts where this dinner was taking place, but <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amerongen_Castle#/media/File:Interieur,_overzicht_eetkamer_-_Amerongen_-_20382279_-_RCE.jpg">the castle's dinner room</a> (as opposed to the lodge's) seems likely.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Get him out of the castle, into the Cadillac, and on the road before anyone can send a runner for the Dutch troops. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Cross the railroad bridge into Nijmegen.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Go through the border crossing at Kleve into occupied Germany. Lights out, accelerator down, duck to avoid the (alleged) bullets. This assumes that the border isn't defended with any greater force than it was during the actual attempt. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Get the nearest General out of bed and report to them (as actually delivering the Kaiser to Paris in one night, without anyone noticing, would be difficult.)<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Sit back and watch all hell break loose.</span></li></ul><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Dirty Rascals<br /></span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Paris Peace Conference was set to open on January 18th. News of the kidnapping would reach the world very late on Jan 5th, or more probably on Jan 6th.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">On Jan 6th, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1919/01/08/archives/president-tells-turin-victory-is-the-peoples-they-must-continue.html">President Wilson was in Turin</a>. <a href="https://history.state.gov/departmenthistory/travels/president/wilson-woodrow">He was due back in Paris on the 7th</a>. I don't think he would have rushed back to Paris. The phrase "President Wilson rushed" rarely occurs in the historical record, and only then as a figure of speech. He would have stuck to his program and, while thinking, left his advisors and subordinates without clear orders.</span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Hang the Kaiser</span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Great Powers and their fleets of experts had agreed, vaguely, on an international tribunal for the Kaiser and other war criminals, but had not, in January 1919, made any formal agreements or set a definitive plan.<br /></span></p><span style="font-family: arial;">Wilson's stance, as usual, put him at odds with the world.<br /></span><div><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Under Secretary of State, Frank L. Polk, expressed Wilson’s position more dramatically. He wrote that he had spoken to the President, who said that ‘under no circumstances was he prepared to commit himself at this time. The question of the punishment of the German Kaiser could be taken up when he reached France.’ Meanwhile, Wilson told journalists who were on board the ship with him, somewhere between New York City and Cherbourg, that he was not ‘wholly convinced that the Kaiser was personally responsible for the war or the prosecution of it .. . The Kaiser was probably a victim of circumstance and environment. In a case of this sort you can’t with certainty put your finger on the guilty party’.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><span class="contributors">-William A. </span>Schabas,<span class="contributors"> '</span><span class="mainTitle"><i class="inner">The Trial of the Kaiser'</i></span> (<span class="print-publication-date">2018), Oxford.</span> </span></p></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Europe had not yet had a chance to grow disillusioned with Wilson, or grasp the gulf between his ideals and his means. </span></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Had the Kaiser been surrendered in January 1920, the Allies would have found themselves woefully unprepared. British lawyers had assembled a mediocre and inadequate brief. They were a step ahead of the French, who seem to have assumed they could improvise the whole business. The charges them- selves were bewildering, leaving it uncertain whether and to what extent hey included responsibility for starting the war and for violations of the laws and customs of war. The organisation and administration of such an international criminal proceeding was uncharted territory.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><span class="contributors">-William A. </span>Schabas,<span class="contributors"> '</span><span class="mainTitle"><i class="inner">The Trial of the Kaiser'</i></span> (<span class="print-publication-date">2018), Oxford.</span> </span></p></blockquote><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Note that this is Schabas' summary of the position in January <b>1920<i>,</i></b> after a full year of debate. The sudden appearance of the Kaiser in January 1919 would have been even more catastrophic. The contrast between the well-meaning but badly directed bickering of the experts at the Conference and the wild Gordian solution of Colonel Lea could not be greater.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Kaiser's kidnapping would probably dominate the early days of the Paris Peace Conference. It would focus limited and fractious executive energies on a relatively minor matter, rather than the urgent task of making peace. The Kaiser's presence, the scandal of the kidnapping, his demands, threats, and revelations would keep the otherwise lightly employed journalists assigned to the Conference busy.<br /></span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Neutrality </span></h3><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Our plan did not violate the neutrality of
Holland in any way. It was to secure the person of William Hohenzollern,
still the proclaimed enemy of the United States and the Allies, to
place him in the Cadillac and to deliver him in Paris to President
Wilson. We knew full well the Dutch and German guards at Amerongen would
never dare to "shoot up" the car in which the Kaiser rode lest they
might kill their "All Highest." And finally,we knew once we had the
Kaiser in the Cadillac he would never have been taken from it alive. We
knew as only American soldiers can know what they can accomplish that if
we succeeded in putting the Kaiser in the car, we would deliver him in
Paris to President Wilson. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-Luke Lea and William T. Alderson, '<i>The Attempt to Capture the Kaiser’</i> (1961) 20 Tennessee Historical Quarterly 222</span></p></blockquote><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Despite Lea's claim, his adventure was a <i>blatant </i>violation
of neutrality. An armed party of Americans, in uniform, entering the
country under false pretences, lying to officials, and kidnapping a
guest?<br /></span></p><span style="font-family: arial;">The kidnapping would probably be the end of any hope of
charging the Kaiser with the violation of the rights of neutral
countries, even if the delegates at the Conference had the will to do so, which, even in early 1919, they didn't. </span></div><div><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Habeus Corpus</span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Would the kidnapped Kaiser be a prisoner of war, a mere prisoner, or a hostage? What was he charged with, and by whom? Could he give interviews? Ask for a lawyer? See his family? Was his detention in any way legal? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Various experts had come up with theoretical answers to these questions in January 1919. The concept of international law was "embryonic", as Schabas puts it. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">If the Kaiser cast doubts about the circumstances of his abdication... If the Kaiser pointed out the obvious hypocrisies and vague terms of Wilson's Fourteen Points in a louder voice than most...</span></p></div><blockquote><div><span style="font-family: arial;"> When the Entente became a fact, William’s wrath was tremendous. Beneath it, and even more galling, rankled Edward’s triumph in Paris. The <i>reise-Kaiser</i>, as he was known from the frequency of his travels, derived balm from ceremonial entries into foreign capitals, and the one above all he wished to visit was Paris, the unattainable. He had been everywhere, even to Jerusalem, where the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaffa_Gate#/media/File:Jerusalem_Jaffa_Gate-panorama.JPG">Jaffa Gate</a> had to be cut to permit his entry on horseback; but Paris, the center of all that was beautiful, all that was desirable, all that Berlin was not, remained closed to him. He wanted to receive the acclaim of Parisians and be awarded the Grand Cordon of the Legion of Honor, and twice let the imperial wish be known to the French. No invitation ever came. He could enter Alsace and make speeches glorifying the victory of 1870; he could lead parades through Metz in Lorraine; but it is perhaps the saddest story of the fate of kings that the Kaiser lived to be eighty-two and died without seeing Paris.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">-Barbara W. Tuchman, <i>'The Guns of August'</i>, (1962), Macmillan.</span></div></blockquote><div><span style="font-family: arial;">Instead of entering as Caesar, he'd enter as <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vercingetorix">Vercingetorix</a>. No doubt the comparison would occur to him, and possibly encourage theatrical exploitation and a few choice quotes. </span></div><div><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Press</span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">According to Harold Nicholson, "some 500 special newspaper
correspondents had been sent to Paris at very great expense" at the
start of the Conference. Some of them would probably gnaw off their own
legs for a chance at one of the Kaiser's <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daily_Telegraph_Affair">famously indiscreet interviews</a>. <br /></span></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Paris, gashed to her very soul, withdrew to lick her wounds. Her place was taken by the Compagnie des Grands Express Européens, or more accurately by the American Express Company. American military police stood side by side with the Policemen on the Champs Elysées. The uniforms of twenty-six foreign armies confused the monochrome of the streets. Paris, for those few weeks, lost her soul. The brain of Paris, that triumphant achievement of western civilization, ceased to function. The nerves of Paris jangled in the air.<br /><br />The French reacted to this barbarization of their own foyer in a most unhelpful manner. Almost from the first they turned against the Americans with embittered resentment. The constant clamour of their newspapers, the stridency of their personal attacks, increased in volume. The ineptitude of the newspapers published in Paris in the English language has seldom been surpassed. The cumulative effect of all this shouting outside the very doors of the Conference produced a nervous and as such unwholesome effect. Our breakfast tables became a succession of intemperate yells.<br /><br />The President himself was strangely sensitive to these forms of animosity. He did not mind so much when he was accused of theocracy, when he was abused for not visiting the devastated areas, or when he was openly arraigned as a pro-German or as a prophet obsessed by his Utopias. Alone with God and the People he could withstand, almost without wincing, these assaults upon him. What he minded were the funny little jokes which the French papers would make about him, the persistent cloud, not of incense, but of ridicule with which they perfumed his path. Every incident that occurred (and there were many incidents) was used by the French press to expose the President in a ridiculous light. To the presbyterian, persecution is a crown of glory, and opposition is an opportunity vouchsafed by God. It is the quiet of the constant smile which goads them to desperation. Mr. Wilson suffered most acutely under the gay lampoons of Paris. This addition to his many preoccupations, these bright shavings flaming around the slow fire of his despair, are not to be underestimated as factors in his final collapse. The President had come to Paris armed with power such as no man in history had possessed: he had come fired with high ideals such as have inspired no autocrat of the past: and Paris, instead of seeing in him the embodiment of the philosopher-king, saw in him a rather comic and highly irritating professor. The cumulative effect of these sharp little pin-pricks was far greater than has been supposed.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-<a href="Harold Nicholson, 'Peacemaking 1919' , (1933), Constable.">Harold Nicholson, <i>'Peacemaking 1919'</i> , (1933), Constable</a>.</span></p></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The <a href="https://gallica.bnf.fr/ark:/12148/bpt6k2920440/f1.image"><i>Figaro</i> archives of 1919 </a>are extremely interesting, if you have spare time. </span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Career of Colonel Lea</span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Colonel Lea's success could be seen as a license to adventure, to do
what is necessary while remote and sterile politicians bicker over
trivial matters in stuffy rooms. </span></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Conference wrote the terms of peace in the blood of the heroic dead of many nations. It was false to the dead and betrayed the living. It was in the main a Conference of slackers who had reaped the harvest of wealth fertilized by corpses of men who in the name of patriotism had given their lives in vain, not to protect mankind but to make those who stayed at home richer and richer, more powerful and more dominating than ever before.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-Luke Lea and William T. Alderson, '<i>The Attempt to Capture the Kaiser’</i> (1961) 20 Tennessee Historical Quarterly 222</span></p></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Lea was in an excellent position to leverage his
fame (or infamy). He could use a court-martial as a platform. Based on some anecdotes, General Pershing was probably sympathetic to this sort fo bold adventuring, as was any fan of the Teddy Roosevelt. Would Lea become an American <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gabriele_D%27Annunzio">Gabriele D'Annunzio</a>, with a Drive Through Holland instead of a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flight_over_Vienna">Flight Over Vienna</a>? </span></div><div><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The American Legion</span></h3><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">After his failed kidnapping attempt, Colonel Lea became one of the founders of the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Legion#List_of_founding_members">American Legion</a>. The American Legion could have easily taken even more of a paramilitary turn in 1919. It certainly had the appetite. <br /></span></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The audience, composed of members of the Legion and their guests and estimated at 10,000, responded enthusiastically that night of September 12, 1919, at Madison Square Garden to the principles of Americanism as outlined by Colonel Lea:<br /></span></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">First, a foreign policy that will maintain for the United States the proud position of the trustee of civilization; a policy that will regard rapine and rape at our doors on the Mexican borders as vile and unspeakable as when committed 4,000 miles distant in Belgium, and will treat and punish as murder the wanton killing of men, women and babes, whether it occurs on the high seas, or on the banks of the Rio Grande; a policy that will demand respect for the Stars and Stripes and protection for all within its shadows; a policy that will insure safety to our borders and protection to the people of Mexico, equally from organized lawlessness and German colonization, even at the cost and sacrifice of policing, and if necessary, of Americanizing devastated and divided Mexico and her neighbors to the Panama Canal.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Second, that the lessons of the war be learned; that squirrel hunters, no matter how brave and patriotic, cannot be mobilized overnight into an effective modern army; that an airplane without a trained pilot is as useless a bird in time of war as the dove of peace; that battleships, dreadnaughts and destroyers cannot spring fully equipped into being in answer to the call for volunteers, in even as patriotic a country as the United States, and that no self-respecting nation can for the second time pursue a policy of peace which will involve finally the choice either of submission to every national insult and indignity, or of humbly asking its allies to hold fast the enemy, while the country deliberately prepares to give him the licking that's coming to him.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Third, a larger participation by labor in the profits it produces, to the common end that the unthinkable and unlivable pre-war conditions of many phases of labor may not return, and that production, with its legitimate profits to the producer, may not be retarded by strikes, lockouts and industrial unrest. Conditions now must be set up that will make sanitary living, education of the young and recreation by the grown not only generally possible, but universally the rule.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Fourth, that America is for Americans. The gates of our ports must be closed to indiscriminate immigration and open for the deportation of undesirables, until there is not a single hyphenated halfbreed, draft dodging I.W.W., or bomb throwing Bolshevist left in this country to break the peace or to mar the perfect understanding between Americans. To live for, to fight for, and if necessary to die for the principles of Americanism, to keep faith with the traditions of the ages behind us, to immortalize the deeds of our glorious dead and to perpetuate permanent peace within and without America, the American Legion was conceived and born.</span></p></blockquote></blockquote><p></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">-Cromwell Tidwell, 'Luke Lea and the American Legion' (1969) 28 Tennessee Historical Quarterly 70</span></blockquote><p></p></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />Works Referenced (with links):</span></h3><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://archive.org/details/sim_saturday-evening-post_1937-10-23_210_17/page/n85/mode/1up?view=theater"><span style="font-family: arial;">T.H. Alexander, "They Tried to Capture the Kaiser." <i>Saturday Evening Post</i>, 23 October 1937</span></a></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/42621543">Luke Lea and William T. Alderson, ‘<i>The Attempt to Capture the Kaiser’</i> (1961) 20 Tennessee Historical</a> <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/42621543">Quarterly 222</a></span></li><li><a href="https://archive.org/details/peacemaking191900nico"><span style="font-family: arial;">Harold Nicholson, <i>'Peacemaking 1919'</i> , (1933), Constable.</span></a></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://trove.nla.gov.au/newspaper/article/18504243"><i>'He Tried to Kidnap the Kaiser', </i>The Sunday Herald, 26 June 1953</a>.</span></li><li><a href="https://sharetngov.tnsosfiles.com/tsla/exhibits/veterans/ww1.htm "><span style="font-family: arial;">Tennessee State Library and Archives</span></a></li><li><a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/42623059"><span style="font-family: arial;">Cromwell Tidwell, 'Luke Lea and the American Legion' (1969) 28 Tennessee Historical Quarterly 70</span></a></li><li><a href="https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1941/07/19/borough-defender-ii"><span style="font-family: arial;">Robert Lewis Taylor, <i>‘Profiles, Borough Defender—II’</i>, The New Yorker, 12 July</span></a></li><li><a href="https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1941/07/19/borough-defender-ii"><span style="font-family: arial;">1941, p. 21</span></a></li></ul></div>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-17575250930924274442023-11-01T19:17:00.001-06:002023-11-01T20:04:02.291-06:00Tank Scratchbuild: The Schneider FA<span style="font-family: arial;">With lessons learned from the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schneider_CA1" title="Schneider CA1">Schneider CA</a> and the Renault FT, the Schneider FA was <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/10/tank-scratchbuild-caterpillar-crawl.html">developed</a> in 1926 as a heavy breakthrough and infantry support tank. It was designed to counter <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soci%C3%A9t%C3%A9_Nouvelle_des_Forges_et_Chantiers_de_la_M%C3%A9diterran%C3%A9e">FCM</a>'s formidable <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Char_2C">Char 2C</a>, the heaviest tank deployed by the National Front and the Paris Guard, as well as any vehicle that might emerge from Italy or (in theory) the Free People's State of Württemberg.<br /></span><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The origin of the letters "FA" is uncertain, but they are probably a model code. Some sources suggest they stand for "Fourmi d'Assaut", after the tank's supposedly ant-like silhouette. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Schneider FA's thick frontal armour, three-man turret, and high-velocity gun made it the terror of any battlefield it could reach. <br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDnfwdBmdHHph1stXPtqBihSEyzNqrN0S6w9QjBC9xEnmNC79eElSbHSJMUgMBVOILZrxCenhO4VlAFRNsAxI5iIat-MuCOc-G-WNnHBE1yFaJzfNUojCinqr8lblosnZnQ59a5WMPGSbiVbShxZMKdCqtQXcvVNAhuG4otDrwYfJ7bXWlexbR6cayf84/s3018/IMG_4058.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1596" data-original-width="3018" height="338" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDnfwdBmdHHph1stXPtqBihSEyzNqrN0S6w9QjBC9xEnmNC79eElSbHSJMUgMBVOILZrxCenhO4VlAFRNsAxI5iIat-MuCOc-G-WNnHBE1yFaJzfNUojCinqr8lblosnZnQ59a5WMPGSbiVbShxZMKdCqtQXcvVNAhuG4otDrwYfJ7bXWlexbR6cayf84/w640-h338/IMG_4058.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Schneider FA is shown here next to a Renault FT (also known as the FT-17).</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Note that all models in this post are in subassemblies for painting, which is why they have armour gaps, wonky alignment, etc. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Mass: ?<br />Length (hull): 29'<br />Width: 16'<br />Height: 14.5'<br />Crew: 6 (Commander, gunner, two loaders, driver, backup driver/radio operator/machine gun operator).<br /><br />Armour: 4" maximum on the front hull.<br />Main Armament: 1x <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/8.8_cm_Flak_18/36/37/41">8.8cm high velocity gun</a> (modified, under license from Krupp). <br />Secondary Armament: Two <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reibel_machine_gun">Reibel machine guns</a> (one coaxial, one in a ball mount in the hull) and one pintle-mounted <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hotchkiss_Mle_1914_machine_gun">Hotchkiss machine gun</a>.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Engine: 6 cylinder marine diesel. <br />Suspension: caterpillar sway bar.<br />Top Speed: 8 mph (allegedly).<br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqnBCkj6gf_sRP8J4b4uSUpW1v-O-IeSpRggoELbrqEd9IV1BM2GwZFP4ut05ZHPh-gXPyGfRH0E890xmtfHA8agNpD3NAsBiMHzRIyS34GThfkCMYMHRTlt9xug_oBzdQSQ1cRzUSbPNWKSkeRn6TSHDpUbJNNEh9gvjAuRUVH95a9G9NO2YQyQ2IifM/s4000/IMG_4049.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3000" data-original-width="4000" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqnBCkj6gf_sRP8J4b4uSUpW1v-O-IeSpRggoELbrqEd9IV1BM2GwZFP4ut05ZHPh-gXPyGfRH0E890xmtfHA8agNpD3NAsBiMHzRIyS34GThfkCMYMHRTlt9xug_oBzdQSQ1cRzUSbPNWKSkeRn6TSHDpUbJNNEh9gvjAuRUVH95a9G9NO2YQyQ2IifM/w640-h480/IMG_4049.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />The <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/8.8_cm_Flak_18/36/37/41">8.8cm high-velocity gun</a> mounted in the turret was originally believed to be a copy (possibly based on stolen plans) of a Krupp weapon. In 1928, National Front newspapers reported that the design had been licensed (and paid for), and that Schieder had purchased several guns outright, possibly through the intervention of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basil_Zaharoff">Basil Zaharoff</a>. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">(It's <i>definitely </i>anachronistic to have a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/8.8_cm_Pak_43">Pak 43/3</a>) on a vehicle that's ostensibly from the 1920s, but I had the kit available.)<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The turret basket allows the commander to stand at full height and see out the cupola prisms and rangefinder periscope. The commander can also mount a folding step to stand or sit inside the cupola, or open the spring-assisted hatch. The cupola can be manually rotated.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The turret itself can be manually or electrically rotated, from both the gunner and the loader's position. The gunner has a seat with a top-mounted periscope and a mantlet-mounted sight. The loader does not have a seat. <br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_mO_4h3IUM_C0xC6VbNcqInJkIRW63dZqkxCq2sXGAq2-BUlZyxZTIO26ZviC5lSAEKsQLfURJDoL4Usbu5av5gLdUsadcQuLbB4mTh-dukxIErXxF1Jle7h-ejB_EWtT9Ab5f5AhKZ2XLEt_VeZ9ebPzQQj0hsqpenRw-3a3WO4KTTTh5jwB5SUUeg4/s4000/IMG_4050.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3000" data-original-width="4000" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_mO_4h3IUM_C0xC6VbNcqInJkIRW63dZqkxCq2sXGAq2-BUlZyxZTIO26ZviC5lSAEKsQLfURJDoL4Usbu5av5gLdUsadcQuLbB4mTh-dukxIErXxF1Jle7h-ejB_EWtT9Ab5f5AhKZ2XLEt_VeZ9ebPzQQj0hsqpenRw-3a3WO4KTTTh5jwB5SUUeg4/w640-h480/IMG_4050.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The shelves at the rear of the fighting compartment contains batteries, Hotchkiss machine gun ammo, spare rounds for the 8.8cm main gun, the fire suppression system, and general stowage. The driver of this Schneider FA has stowed a typewriter and some canned goods next to their position (front left). The backup driver has the radio set (front right).<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The tank has dual controls, with the radio operator's controls able to be locked out of the way when not in use. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">There is plenty of space below the turret basket for the secondary loader, who scuttles around, passing shells into the turret when the tank is in action. The fighting compartment has an escape hatch in the floor. <br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh31SU_Mt0jlz8fMLXsd9BEscKGtpP1Za3zhyRR5ZHvi8XNvh3hlgxIi56-i3Tc8I5V4Qtfzos18vFDWywSim8kTPs-HUctHRN6rnTr2_cTlaVpQl-Ud7aUNhscFD7qLn5WY947S-OB7kK1l6rrpV5ueKdbKv1ABjUAW5TwqsIu-5IWkgeGzT8cptMsc8Q/s3171/IMG_4051.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1390" data-original-width="3171" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh31SU_Mt0jlz8fMLXsd9BEscKGtpP1Za3zhyRR5ZHvi8XNvh3hlgxIi56-i3Tc8I5V4Qtfzos18vFDWywSim8kTPs-HUctHRN6rnTr2_cTlaVpQl-Ud7aUNhscFD7qLn5WY947S-OB7kK1l6rrpV5ueKdbKv1ABjUAW5TwqsIu-5IWkgeGzT8cptMsc8Q/w640-h280/IMG_4051.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Crew of 6. From left to right: commander (binoculars pending), loader, backup driver, backup loader, gunner, and driver.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz8RusKuvmc45t_segynvghoYW2TdnG1A-F5mOvVtjBd0LQ9LosPQSBhBslC6lB0D9Pzo68GJ7A1pH3DgW7LpVou5PDyxsGr02E55GFNQpUQIN_gwwSJ8uEtA-YUzUEIfd987mf_BlPebJc06FblZ-vcoGsBRfDHKiRatWMVSz61I2gsEF6w6SqdiVirc/s1411/Charb1%20crew.png" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="1411" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz8RusKuvmc45t_segynvghoYW2TdnG1A-F5mOvVtjBd0LQ9LosPQSBhBslC6lB0D9Pzo68GJ7A1pH3DgW7LpVou5PDyxsGr02E55GFNQpUQIN_gwwSJ8uEtA-YUzUEIfd987mf_BlPebJc06FblZ-vcoGsBRfDHKiRatWMVSz61I2gsEF6w6SqdiVirc/w640-h428/Charb1%20crew.png" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">Hats and overalls were sculpted (badly) to match interwar French designs.<br /></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizx8Kr-xHOzXEE_t9iUP_gZhCy20634ZDYxnOHv6rz8i22Roc0dKKlZ4WVig7Yz7KwNEN02ewniLj0Sj75pnhLRoNhz46Ttg_kDxdjJnszDmI-lRwV3BAZWuBJSlXFq7m2MeKv5FZzlCU-kMvaEcr4SLQHjEf0H0SLvAEYtjHr-55VzY-PO7pVnltkhAs/s2180/IMG_4056.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2180" data-original-width="1941" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizx8Kr-xHOzXEE_t9iUP_gZhCy20634ZDYxnOHv6rz8i22Roc0dKKlZ4WVig7Yz7KwNEN02ewniLj0Sj75pnhLRoNhz46Ttg_kDxdjJnszDmI-lRwV3BAZWuBJSlXFq7m2MeKv5FZzlCU-kMvaEcr4SLQHjEf0H0SLvAEYtjHr-55VzY-PO7pVnltkhAs/w570-h640/IMG_4056.JPG" width="570" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />The Schneider FA has front-facing hatch with a vision prism. The hatch is a single cast piece, as thick as the front armour, and has spring-assisted hinges and a geared jack to hold it open. It provides good forward visibility, but the tank relies on the commander for all-round awareness. </span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh96bXQwCtLO1NpxvV4MpwsUezUR76CafvrBE8HTkKNzvlo2i1cYwgHDc9lfa47GJHpiefGnaqXQ2QYELXbafJ1z1WsxdMpX54Y_GdCnFEtePaaR9uIPPsZ2ah_zo8HcwjZ_7tyN0g_zRLkserCawlZJoBabF-o0E2F-NJEeTmj4Tq6TuFWDUmrak0v1iY/s3347/IMG_4043.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2894" data-original-width="3347" height="554" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh96bXQwCtLO1NpxvV4MpwsUezUR76CafvrBE8HTkKNzvlo2i1cYwgHDc9lfa47GJHpiefGnaqXQ2QYELXbafJ1z1WsxdMpX54Y_GdCnFEtePaaR9uIPPsZ2ah_zo8HcwjZ_7tyN0g_zRLkserCawlZJoBabF-o0E2F-NJEeTmj4Tq6TuFWDUmrak0v1iY/w640-h554/IMG_4043.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Schneider built custom sixteen-wheel tank
overland transport wagons for the FA, but these could only be used on
high-quality roads. For long-distance travel by road or rail, the drive
wheel and suspension assemblies could be removed (without removing the
track), enabling the 10' wide hull to be transported by rail. Reassembling
the vehicle took several hours, but could (Schieder claimed) be
accomplished without specialized equipment. The FA was usually supported
by a pair of heavy trucks (usually American surplus <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mack_AC#">Mack AC</a>s).</span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Criticism</span></h3><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The driver's visibility was very poor. The driver could not have a top hatch or even a periscope due to the turret mantlet design. The heavy armoured hatch had a nasty habit of slamming shut if the jack was not carefully locked, which could crush a wayward limb or stun the driver. The hatch was designed to remain in place even if the hinges are damaged, which was some comfort.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The top speed was, allegedly, 8mph with a following wind, but 5mph was far more likely.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The commander's cupola was designed to be large enough to contain two crew members (to facilitate the passing of ammo for the Hotchkiss gun). While this made the space very comfortable for the commander, it meant rotating the cupola took considerable effort. The hatch also had a geared jack and spring system. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The electric turret traverse system was reliable, but painfully slow. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The caterpillar suspension provided a very rough ride. The tank had to stop to fire its main gun with any accuracy.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The turret was not particularly well balanced, and only contained eight shells in a ready rack behind and below the loader. With a well-trained secondary loader, the tank could still achieve a reasonable fire rate. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The length of the linkages between the transmission and the driver meant changing gear required a great deal of effort. Luckily, in most situations, rapid gear changes were not required.</span></li></ul><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Praise<br /></span></h3><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The tank's height, though a liability in some respects, gave the commander an unparalleled view of the battlefield. The main gun's elevation and depression were also exceptional.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The radio, once insulated from the tank's rattling, was very reliable, if limited in range. The internal communication system allowed for excellent crew coordination. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The main gun was sensibly feared. Reports of an armour-piercing round passing straight through a Char 2C "from prow to stern" or reducing a Renault FT to "fragments and dust" were typical. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The design of the tank emphasized reliability and simplicity. The rear had large hatches for engine access, and the large turret doors meant the gun could be removed on rails and replaced with ease. A simple field workshop could complete all but the most intensive repairs. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The hull was waterproof and gasproof. With its high body, the tank could easily ford streams up to 6' deep. The vehicle had excellent, possibly excessive, ground clearance. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Excellent temperature control. Hot water from the main radiator could be diverted into a radiator pipe in the fighting compartment. Electric fans could pull cool air into the fighting compartment from the rear.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The large armoured fuel tanks (2x 550L, to the left and right of the radiator) could be supplemented by additional external fuel drums. The tank could even be refuelled on the move, provided the refuelling vehicle had a pump and a hose. </span></li></ul><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy-cQPnnbJdyE7uc_FJ7F26mKbhpvSbzcF1x6chl1CFhEKsXMAEgAi_GybUOhVIJBj1RfLHsgO1sPsZmzpzfEmk0hcALLbmp_03jXcV5MRI6lhkB50s80DVpbyL1pDCRvVI1ItMlRyEILbSA1FL21hgP_1sOsnTV5bXUAgAXGQ5LRyYvAUTYKnRSkl3s4/s2355/IMG_4054.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1073" data-original-width="2355" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy-cQPnnbJdyE7uc_FJ7F26mKbhpvSbzcF1x6chl1CFhEKsXMAEgAi_GybUOhVIJBj1RfLHsgO1sPsZmzpzfEmk0hcALLbmp_03jXcV5MRI6lhkB50s80DVpbyL1pDCRvVI1ItMlRyEILbSA1FL21hgP_1sOsnTV5bXUAgAXGQ5LRyYvAUTYKnRSkl3s4/w640-h292/IMG_4054.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">To Do </span></h3><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></h3><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Reposition the current tools (as they'll be knocked off when the tank goes over bumps).</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Add the rest of the radiator louvres. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Add stowage, lights, a horn, exhausts, air intakes, tow hooks, etc.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Add a side hatch to empty the dust collectors. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Add a springloaded trench rail under the engine compartment. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Add bolts, rivets, etc.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">More stowage.</span></li></ul><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Kit List<br /></span></h3><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Treads, chassis, engine: 1/25 Caterpillar DH8 kit from AMT.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Interior details and gun: 1/35 Jadgpanther Interior kit from RFM. Great for greebling and scratchbuilding, if you're into that sort of thing.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Turret, turret ring: 1/16 Renault FT kit from Takom. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Crew: Leftover figures from the bits box. I think they're from a 1/35 scale Karl-Gerät kit by Trumpeter.</span></li></ul><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I made the cast armour texture using Tamiya putty, thin modelling cement, and a paintbrush. Rolled armour texture used a similar method, but with a lighter coat, streaking, and some sanding.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-25751724292834652052023-10-12T14:24:00.002-06:002023-10-12T14:24:30.276-06:00Tank Scratchbuild: The Caterpillar Crawl<p><span style="font-family: arial;">With a philosophical
flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; Ishmael quietly take to the ship; I go to the hobby store and buy a stack of scale model kits.</span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Good Intentions</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The original plan was to build a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dieselpunk">dieselpunk</a> tank kitbash, something like Miyazaki's <a href="https://www.scalemates.com/kits/asuka-model-tg-2-akuyaku-1--938107">Akuyaku #1</a>. As I sketched out a few ideas, I realized that the project would be a great way to put actual tank design into practice. Instead of a model that was merely aesthetic, I could make a tank that was as functional as possible. Not <i>good </i>by any means, but functional. The sort of thing that could, in the '30s and '40s, get funding for a prototype.<br /></span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Caterpillar Crawl<br /></span></h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/eh99b0a3hF0" width="320" youtube-src-id="eh99b0a3hF0"></iframe></span></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><p><span style="font-family: arial;"> I started with the venerable 1/25 Caterpillar DH8 kit from AMT.<br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV_zfS11aJKdeIm9NjJspbYaISSKoz4lVe9M8SF7QVcPGTney440WrpAmVgkDYXvNI4XJblb-HstxJkyUN1XM9EODvXoJuauE0N_gb0xoJLF_HMKU1d4Da6A-FGBMLw3_OEHxaUsR9k1-EGLaEwwBSH8N4TuQ3fP9cetOqMJebbRQYe-wtGRHWEDD-Tqg/s1280/AMT6670-1__43148.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="853" data-original-width="1280" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV_zfS11aJKdeIm9NjJspbYaISSKoz4lVe9M8SF7QVcPGTney440WrpAmVgkDYXvNI4XJblb-HstxJkyUN1XM9EODvXoJuauE0N_gb0xoJLF_HMKU1d4Da6A-FGBMLw3_OEHxaUsR9k1-EGLaEwwBSH8N4TuQ3fP9cetOqMJebbRQYe-wtGRHWEDD-Tqg/w640-h426/AMT6670-1__43148.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Since I'm converting it to a 1/35 tank, this means the final result will be ~30' long, which is long but not "<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Char_2C">you have made a terrible mistake</a>" long. Caterpillar created the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caterpillar_D9">D9</a> by scaling up the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caterpillar_D8">D8</a>, so scaling it up again should be fine. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Bolting armour to a bulldozer, sticking some machine guns through a few holes, and calling it a tank is a time-honoured tradition. The most famous (or infamous) is the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Semple_tank">Bob Semple tank</a> out of New Zealand, but there are other examples.</span></p><p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTBXzXRE8D8Zl25qjSupvGtGdXTFS23XXWsK5qhrOdgnLxi9wzI5mD8QVnzJK_mqC12Yu5PI1Ji51UOKKrvUkv5D545TVEAcFvtyCDndzYzekHi0ZS6BZlWNIXqg3RkZM8irDGVYtS5cboj720wEsB6krxf0fF9-eX1bQMpb71yBmWZb5vsRX4Lh-SLPA/s2707/Bob%20Semple%20and%20Disston.png" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="947" data-original-width="2707" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTBXzXRE8D8Zl25qjSupvGtGdXTFS23XXWsK5qhrOdgnLxi9wzI5mD8QVnzJK_mqC12Yu5PI1Ji51UOKKrvUkv5D545TVEAcFvtyCDndzYzekHi0ZS6BZlWNIXqg3RkZM8irDGVYtS5cboj720wEsB6krxf0fF9-eX1bQMpb71yBmWZb5vsRX4Lh-SLPA/w640-h224/Bob%20Semple%20and%20Disston.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Bob Semple Tank (left), Disston Tractor Tank (right).<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />A bulldozer is not a great platform for a tank. It has a simple linear powertrain. The radiator, engine, torque converter, transmission, and differential are all in a front-to-back straight line. There's no room for a driver or turret near the front of the vehicle. The Bob Semple Tank had a front machine gunner lying on a mattress on top of the engine, which is obviously a bad plan.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The engine of a bulldozer also sticks slightly forward of the treads, meaning the tank cannot climb steep obstacles without smashing the radiator into them first. The suspension creates a very rough ride and the engine isn't designed for speed. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">How can a bulldozer be converted into a "proper" tank? </span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgia8UlWij651T4ZQo9aEfj5wszQhQRNzzVocSsemtHYVf0VB2xp7lQQ05GtU_tI9Iyah_IK_eEVfT5BhscdQUwBBVe3qYJRyLaTqfA-G0JpPFjg80CQoQlx45vRsVeczawATp790SZ2rqDOuv6vX18OnxXbeJBdSpT4PGGer3V7VuqvLEfcgMOMCyARE4/s503/Suspension.png" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="317" data-original-width="503" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgia8UlWij651T4ZQo9aEfj5wszQhQRNzzVocSsemtHYVf0VB2xp7lQQ05GtU_tI9Iyah_IK_eEVfT5BhscdQUwBBVe3qYJRyLaTqfA-G0JpPFjg80CQoQlx45vRsVeczawATp790SZ2rqDOuv6vX18OnxXbeJBdSpT4PGGer3V7VuqvLEfcgMOMCyARE4/s16000/Suspension.png" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Screenshot from <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=l61YthTTl38">this video</a>. The front of the bulldozer is to the left.<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><b><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjwaCrrCAH3FuyjE1EkxoMSx0fCxnJc-mBDr5u0rpBbGgYCS5rG9V0lbx96vwcya38KdKTt17D0RHodinsPZwgNXTmCqyYthT8-M2KVbXvVvSpuZHXNCVokmwzlIrLaUgd_9EYRtbmmzHZ1xOpMGrTiuAF7YMNGRBehvnkS3v4pK84IyOuTEJRbC2gG_g/s611/caterpillar%20d8%20suspension.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="394" data-original-width="611" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjwaCrrCAH3FuyjE1EkxoMSx0fCxnJc-mBDr5u0rpBbGgYCS5rG9V0lbx96vwcya38KdKTt17D0RHodinsPZwgNXTmCqyYthT8-M2KVbXvVvSpuZHXNCVokmwzlIrLaUgd_9EYRtbmmzHZ1xOpMGrTiuAF7YMNGRBehvnkS3v4pK84IyOuTEJRbC2gG_g/w400-h258/caterpillar%20d8%20suspension.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://ccmodels.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/D8K-Track-Type-Tractor-specs.pdf">D8K brochure (pdf)</a><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /></b></span></p><p><b style="font-family: arial;">Reverse The Bulldozer?</b><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">An easy option, but this type of suspension doesn't work in reverse. When moving forward, each arm of the track can rise over a rock, pivoting vertically around the final drive and horizontally around the sway bar. In reverse, if you crunch into a rock, and all the force is transmitted to the drive sprocket, final drive, and differential. <br /></span></p><p><b style="font-family: arial;">Reverse the bulldozer and add more track in front of the drive sprocket?</b></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The drive sprocket has to be at the end of a loop of track. It can't be in the middle. Otherwise, any slackness in the track, or going over a ditch, would disconnect the drive sprocket from the track. A <a href="https://info.texasfinaldrive.com/shop-talk-blog/caterpillar-high-drive-and-final-drives">high-drive system</a>, like the modern D9s, has a sort of triangular loop of track, but dramatically increases the height of the vehicle. <br /></span></p><p><b style="font-family: arial;">Move the engine and rearrange the drivetrain?</b></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">This is the solution I chose. Instead of mounting the engine at the front of the vehicle, I moved it to the back. It's connected by a universal joint to the transmission, which then loops backwards to the differential and final drives.<br /></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgQAkQhPsOKqeQ93sHcZraeoYEGbKs7hCCItWMt2uyLywWOrPT4YfTJCPIyb2RqXZeN0nmKd5s4uzGuusEVrHQ0Caq1xBs5OSNtavBPtZlhA9inT18oiOStxZsGHFg0ZQN9hb6zMaQ2H5eWy3X614N1mMn9k-KIpSByJzQEV_M0k816eo2aCVI5wbe8YM/s3028/IMG_4030.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1625" data-original-width="3028" height="344" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgQAkQhPsOKqeQ93sHcZraeoYEGbKs7hCCItWMt2uyLywWOrPT4YfTJCPIyb2RqXZeN0nmKd5s4uzGuusEVrHQ0Caq1xBs5OSNtavBPtZlhA9inT18oiOStxZsGHFg0ZQN9hb6zMaQ2H5eWy3X614N1mMn9k-KIpSByJzQEV_M0k816eo2aCVI5wbe8YM/w640-h344/IMG_4030.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Front is still to the left.<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPbCefTWojPpJFEnDlYm03gjfgNjvN7B3iVvzOU5xhMJ1Ck3gcu6Hof4-RIWC9VK2Zn-9oy8oB36J9znzNKHsEmIZdWVl-DoGraJLRx0PzVYHbmSYJzEqn_IOBnoA_Hb4bRrxF-1iQPYEz6mhzUteXIA-5PWO9uKpFLoMj2M4WqMS06ars0tyAoNa-0Iw/s3000/IMG_4034.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2551" data-original-width="3000" height="544" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPbCefTWojPpJFEnDlYm03gjfgNjvN7B3iVvzOU5xhMJ1Ck3gcu6Hof4-RIWC9VK2Zn-9oy8oB36J9znzNKHsEmIZdWVl-DoGraJLRx0PzVYHbmSYJzEqn_IOBnoA_Hb4bRrxF-1iQPYEz6mhzUteXIA-5PWO9uKpFLoMj2M4WqMS06ars0tyAoNa-0Iw/w640-h544/IMG_4034.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The transmission is under the radiator fan. The engine connects to it by a universal joint (currently disconnected). Then the transmission connects to the differential (the black and white plastic bit, from an old truck kit) and to the final drives (the yellow bulges between the chassis and the chrome drive sprockets).<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Doctrine and Design<br /></span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Why would anyone pick a caterpillar chassis as the basis of a tank?<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The
three traditional factors in tank design are <b>Mobility</b>, <b>Armour</b>, and
<b>Firepower</b>. You need to balance all three to get a successful tank.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">There
are other major factors that the traditional triangle leaves out.
<br /></span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Feasibility</b>. Can you actually manufacture this tank in sufficient
numbers to make a difference? How complicated is it? <br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Reliability</b>. Once in the field, can the tank actually perform its function
without breaking down? Can an inexperienced crew maintain it? Is it <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overengineering">over-engineered</a>?<br /></span></li></ul><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Caterpillar-type bulldozers are cheap, commonly available, and legendarily reliable. You can park one in a muddy field for twenty years and start it up again with some fresh oil, fuel, and a new battery. You can repair major structural components in the field without disassembling the entire vehicle. New parts can be manufactured from stock or scrap. A scaled-up tractor would retain these features.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/YgAVTVhSJ9I" width="320" youtube-src-id="YgAVTVhSJ9I"></iframe></span></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_doctrine">doctrine</a>, an <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infantry_tank">infantry tank</a> was a relatively slow but heavily armoured tank designed to support the advance of massed infantry. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I'm not really interested in the alternative history aspect of this project, but some sort of justification seems necessary. What if a nation's doctrine stressed the idea of a continuous attack? That, after a breakthrough was achieved, the attacking force must continue a methodical attack, without giving the enemy time to respond. An attack designed to overwhelm the decision-making powers of its leaders. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methamphetamine#History,_society,_and_culture">Amphetamines</a> for everyone.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">A highly reliable tank might form part of that doctrine. A cruising speed of 6 miles per hour isn't much, but 6 miles per hour, day and night, rain or shine, might be appealing.</span></p><p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_B4oOEwQdbNFDT8mc-AlPbXUOvEDm07sLnCJSKT8ni54gQLVzzAtFUiDm2a10IBFfa2PXqp_zYYq2cV4xB0p6pEpz-13xnlzp9txQyA-q1lKGFJZm5gkhmvQCQqi88qFzygKuwA_pwjRZ5ZLwhp3uWh648p5Esx8bhNgIyqykEPa9Y0s8iwRxLb-8r3Y/s2073/Cat%20Engine%20Instructions.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2073" data-original-width="1437" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_B4oOEwQdbNFDT8mc-AlPbXUOvEDm07sLnCJSKT8ni54gQLVzzAtFUiDm2a10IBFfa2PXqp_zYYq2cV4xB0p6pEpz-13xnlzp9txQyA-q1lKGFJZm5gkhmvQCQqi88qFzygKuwA_pwjRZ5ZLwhp3uWh648p5Esx8bhNgIyqykEPa9Y0s8iwRxLb-8r3Y/w444-h640/Cat%20Engine%20Instructions.JPG" width="444" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Original instructions. Model kits have come a long way since 1972, but the loss of functional labels (what each part does) is a bit sad.<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Engine Alterations and Detailing<br /></span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Ideally, this tank would use a more compact engine. The six-cylinder turbocharged engine in the DH8, scaled up, is basically a marine diesel engine. A V6 engine would be half the length. A radial engine, even <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chrysler_A57_multibank">a hideously complex radial engine</a>, would be even shorter.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Still, the point is to use as much of the original kit as possible, so the huge inline six stays, with a few additions and changes. It's a very old kit, so the level of detail isn't great.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgolG156Xxh6B07w6pMhhAhv0QDFqbQKcOzbWZe0n4LRCaZdfT4hGYryZrw_NqDBWg5r53OzbCPxyrSDvSDUEgVQNcCBsuO5QJwxbleqaZe7aBt0dxKmf-f6FinFGMtnviTgR7y-XbZVsIxi16MwNjeQ0P1M2AOp1In2QZyI_m-ncIT6S6Bbo8qjaLYcFw/s1986/Engine%20Right%20Side.png" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1407" data-original-width="1986" height="454" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgolG156Xxh6B07w6pMhhAhv0QDFqbQKcOzbWZe0n4LRCaZdfT4hGYryZrw_NqDBWg5r53OzbCPxyrSDvSDUEgVQNcCBsuO5QJwxbleqaZe7aBt0dxKmf-f6FinFGMtnviTgR7y-XbZVsIxi16MwNjeQ0P1M2AOp1In2QZyI_m-ncIT6S6Bbo8qjaLYcFw/w640-h454/Engine%20Right%20Side.png" width="640" /></a></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The right side of the engine (the left side of the vehicle) features new fuel injector lines and cables.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAa5hME70Js5dXW2pMT8LHROLHATdylqfdFIIXDGjCr4TzkYvWb1MhWejzG7BHmxk84pxDopbG2G_376pXzu8bh0-_fv6HIK3bHSqh3XmV9nJdcL5gpZoYmjYwd7LrD4HIXpJn2AObMVIqmBIPeJumjPtJobZEuVy3i1bSsjm_OYHLmFd7Ngy9eDipjlw/s2308/Engine%20Left%20Side.png" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1547" data-original-width="2308" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAa5hME70Js5dXW2pMT8LHROLHATdylqfdFIIXDGjCr4TzkYvWb1MhWejzG7BHmxk84pxDopbG2G_376pXzu8bh0-_fv6HIK3bHSqh3XmV9nJdcL5gpZoYmjYwd7LrD4HIXpJn2AObMVIqmBIPeJumjPtJobZEuVy3i1bSsjm_OYHLmFd7Ngy9eDipjlw/w640-h428/Engine%20Left%20Side.png" width="640" /></a></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The left side (right side of the vehicle) features a re-positioned alternator, the start of the radiator fan drive, and a rearranged air filtration system. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Originally, the air system was mounted <a href="https://youtu.be/l61YthTTl38?t=354">above the engine</a>, but I moved it to the side to reduce the height. It should still function; there are some later-model caterpillar engines with similar adjustments. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I replaced the original paper canister air filter with a pair of scratchbuilt combined <a href="https://tiger1.info/EN/HL210-air-duct.html">air-oil separators</a> and <a href="https://tiger1.info/EN/Feifel-air-precleaners.html">cyclone dust collectors</a>. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Paper air filters are very efficient, but when they clog, they prevent air from entering the engine. This isn't a problem for a construction bulldozer. You can always open the filter, bang out the dust, and replace it. In the middle of a battle, leaving the tank to clean the air filter is not wise.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Oil-air separators continue to let air pass even after the oil becomes saturated with dust. This reduces the lifespan of the engine, but increases the lifespan of the crew. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The air intake and exhaust are not attached yet.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgLPdMaBhOL7Ne9kiZnlQBfrKDRn6SaLkSFX7HDd392OqyZFjNgnLayr1L8tg3EC-Qm4hnDKmuFr4kGF24sX5kYyu9wdK9-2b8QEO2fZRTNqibpklwx8OYMLqD2vrEh7Wg_NR6EPyEQQqkMlJp9MgSzmPVcVzhuP0z3GYhVbEO_H8VyutNWk3aFUr6wfw/s2302/IMG_4035.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2302" data-original-width="1861" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgLPdMaBhOL7Ne9kiZnlQBfrKDRn6SaLkSFX7HDd392OqyZFjNgnLayr1L8tg3EC-Qm4hnDKmuFr4kGF24sX5kYyu9wdK9-2b8QEO2fZRTNqibpklwx8OYMLqD2vrEh7Wg_NR6EPyEQQqkMlJp9MgSzmPVcVzhuP0z3GYhVbEO_H8VyutNWk3aFUr6wfw/w518-h640/IMG_4035.JPG" width="518" /></a></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Finding a position for the radiator was difficult.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Back of the tank? It's a huge vulnerability. Armoured louvres are still weaker than actual armour, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FCM_36">even if you angle them</a>.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Front of the tank? As <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GF0hRJ09Q-E&t=1233s">David Fletcher says</a>, "If you're designing a tank at home, don't for heaven's sake put the radiator at a different place than the engine. It's just not meant to go there."<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">On either side of the engine? Could work, but since I'm aiming for simplicity, one large fan and one large radiator seemed best.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Above the engine? Could work, but increases the vehicle's height, and you'd need to remove and drain the radiator before working on the engine. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Above the torque converter (further back from its current position?) Could work, but then you can't lift the engine and torque converter combination straight up to repair or replace it.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In the end, I put it at an angle above the transmission. This wastes a bit of space, but the fan can be driven by belt from the engine, and pulls air through the entire engine bay, which is nice. <br /></span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">To Do</span></h2><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Add steering clutch and brake assemblies to the differential.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Add a trench-crossing rail below the engine, probably with some sort of shock absorber.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Convert the drive sprockets to include modular sprocket rim segments. Instead of removing the entire wheel, you can just replace a worn segment. Handy!<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Build a turret.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Build a fighting compartment.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Convert 1/35 figurines for the inside of the compartment, because if you're fully detailing a tank, it makes sense to add crew. <br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Add weld lines where steel plates are welded, and rivets/bolts where they are joined. Most of the construction so far is welded. </span></li></ul><span style="font-family: arial;">If any readers are tank experts (internet or real life), or have experience with heavy construction vehicles, feel free to leave notes in the comments.<br /></span>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-3833475393622739452023-09-25T13:56:00.003-06:002023-09-25T17:52:46.854-06:00OSR: The Mystery of Uriah Shambledrake 23 & 24 - A Snap Election<p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"> I<span>n the <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/08/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">previous installment</a>, the PCs:</span></span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Killed a load-bearing vampire.<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Answered several longstanding questions.<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Participated in Endon's second and third car crashes.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Lost a friend. <br /></span></li></ul><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The PCs are:</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Tom Shambledrake</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2020/04/osr-class-electric-wizard.html">Electric Wizard</a> and heir to the bankrupt Shambledrake estate. Inventor of the Lightning
Accumulator, the Lightning Inverter, and the Iron Spike. <br /><br /><b>Jonty Earl</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2021/04/osr-4-glog-classes-for-loxdon-college.html">Dandy</a>. Assistant Professor at Loxdon College. Deeply enmeshed in stock-jobbery and financial chicanery.<br /></span></span></span><span><span><span><b><br />Dr. Augustus Hartwell</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2018/01/osr-class-biomancer.html">Biomancer</a>.
A foreign doctor and self-described "quack", currently employed at
Blumsworth Hospital. Ally of speaking rats, workers, and other vermin.<br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Doyle Wormsby</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/06/osr-alloy-wizard-civic-wizard-and.html">Civic Wizard</a>, Private Investigator. Broke his arm in Endon's first automobile accident.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgToHGO1lK9HP28ST4pQG2d4prGH-ILm72fM8wSZisdglX6ChufQWncqxwX1kVoPtna964l-wh7V2RbSPsp_SodCeEZclspN6c4OhkcM51SbtdAnDo3AUgDtrmgWZPHAz_i10IcN_HXKEIpGcCCJEojd53hdENgZca9os1-NXw3CMCm9Ri7pJMsjBc7EGs/s794/FXkzYRjXEBAPXUQ.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="794" data-original-width="778" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgToHGO1lK9HP28ST4pQG2d4prGH-ILm72fM8wSZisdglX6ChufQWncqxwX1kVoPtna964l-wh7V2RbSPsp_SodCeEZclspN6c4OhkcM51SbtdAnDo3AUgDtrmgWZPHAz_i10IcN_HXKEIpGcCCJEojd53hdENgZca9os1-NXw3CMCm9Ri7pJMsjBc7EGs/w628-h640/FXkzYRjXEBAPXUQ.jpg" width="628" /></a> </div><p style="text-align: left;"></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Lizzy's Funeral</span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Lizzy didn't leave a will, and as far as the group knew she didn't have any living relatives. After some debate, they decided not to bury her in the vampire-haunted cemetery, and instead tipped her mortal remains into Ooze Vat #6. "It was what she would have wanted," Jonty said, without much conviction.</span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Revolution Revolves<br /></span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A revolution may be judged by two things; its transfer of political power and its transfer of economic power. In Endon, the Revolution granted political power to a segment of society that had previously sat outside the traditional parliamentary structure. High office was suddenly opened to the bulk of the Middle Class, and even the Lower Class... in theory. In practice, the leaders of post-Revolution political thought tended to be upper Middle Class citizens with a background in law, publishing, or rabble-rousing. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The class structure of Endon remained largely intact. A thoroughly titled noble of an ancient family might surly glances instead of obedient hat-doffing, lament the loss of a few vestigial privileges, and have to pay their servants and tradesmen, but mass executions and confiscation of property failed to materialize. The slower members of the Upper Class are waiting for the Monarch to return and the Army to march on Endon. The quicker ones, hedging their bets, quietly support Revolution-adjacent causes, perform public charity, or retreat to their country estates.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Economic power is almost entirely unchanged. Citizens who were rich before the Revolution are, despite threats, strikes, and better pay, rich after it. Wages rose by a few percent, but rents in the increasingly crowded city rose faster. Thanks to the Leonine Cartel, even beggars could eat (polymorphed) steak. Thanks to the constant thunderstorm orbiting Endon, vegetables were becoming a rare delicacy, and bread less and less affordable. <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/02/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">Arcadia-Brand Ooze Milk (and Ooze Cheese)</a>, Lizzy's invention for turning waste whale guts into nutritious fluids, could supplement an all-meat diet.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jonty debated "nationalize" the Iron Spike Company, but, when Tom proved reluctant, decided it was easier to "Iron-Spike-ize" the New Parliament. Jonty Earl, assistant professor of law at Loxdon College, also controlled Endon's central bank. The Bank of the Realm, and the Grim Baliol, were under mild siege. The last Coppers and a few die-hard royalists were trapped inside, surrounded by Benjamin Fits' revolutionaries and a network of barricades. With the Royal Mint inoperable, and the city's gold reserves inaccessible, no new bills could be printed. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Endon's more cautious citizens hoarded gold and silver. No matter who ended up in charge, and no matter how quickly they had to flee the city, Endon's citizens knew a sock full of coins would be more valuable than a chest full of paper, whether printed by the old Royal Mint or a revolutionary replacement. Iron Spike Thaumaturgy stock certificates became, temporarily, one of Endon's mediums of exchange. Everyone agreed they were valuable, would only increase in value (but not enough to encourage hoarding in these uncertain times), and could be stored in a wallet or vest. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">As long as the value of Iron Spike Thaumaturgy stock remained stable, or increased at its steady post-debut rate, everything was fine. If the value of the stock suddenly plunged, it could take Endon's entire economy with it, from high finance to basic commerce.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Such a realization might keep a lesser man up at night, but Jonty no longer slept. Six days in seven, he drank <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/09/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake_16.html">SpaceBeans Coffee</a> and used an exhaustion transfer wand to move his need for sleep onto a very well paid servant hired specifically for this purpose. He'd tested both the coffee and the wand for weeks, found no significant side-effects, and adopted the system... despite Dr. Hartwell's vocal skepticism. While the lack of sleep would play havoc with a wizard's brain, it gave the un-magical Jonty a significant advantage in all his affairs. He could lecture in the morning, campaign in the afternoon, write letters and newspaper columns in the evening, balance the books at night, dispatch fresh orders before dawn, and repeat the whole process indefinitely. The enemies of the Iron Spike Company might get up early in the morning, but Jonty was awake all night.</span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Mary and Lamb<br /></span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Mary Berger, apprentice, had just been expelled from the Guild of Alchemists for insubordination, low test scores, political agitation, and a tendency to fall asleep on duty. She hadn't written to her family. They'd hoped the Guild would provide a stable future for their third eldest child. Mary wasn't interested in a stable future. She wanted a revolution.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">She'd left the Guild with nothing but the robes on her back, a handful of coins, and a creature that Should Not Be. One of her final projects at the guild involved assisting in the creation of a <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2020/04/osr-homunculi-and-bears-class.html">homunculus</a>. </span></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimi1AZYpp4suCKW0j5idMNFcRCN0emOP9tdta-SNE9ru2gy2HHLxMe5BR9Fb0dx0EEOsqNdXK4IC39MLODTSi4E2P6xbaPIgWfIXriSIJVKX76izStN3GYkkOcyEl1cDofZzJ4SW_HAtOhKHsFdIEyPcrwggE4ipjUFC-7jRjU_XCjZwX3AL7ddAAYZ3g/s1920/sherbakov-stanislav-7smallc%20-%20Alchemist.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1627" data-original-width="1920" height="542" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimi1AZYpp4suCKW0j5idMNFcRCN0emOP9tdta-SNE9ru2gy2HHLxMe5BR9Fb0dx0EEOsqNdXK4IC39MLODTSi4E2P6xbaPIgWfIXriSIJVKX76izStN3GYkkOcyEl1cDofZzJ4SW_HAtOhKHsFdIEyPcrwggE4ipjUFC-7jRjU_XCjZwX3AL7ddAAYZ3g/w640-h542/sherbakov-stanislav-7smallc%20-%20Alchemist.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.artstation.com/sherbakov"> Sherbakov Stanislav </a><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />She hadn't invented the process, or contributed most of the work, but as the only surviving apprentice of the group (and the main contributor of blood), she felt entitled to walk out of the Guild with Lamb, a 6' tall humanoid tumour, behind her. She needed steady employment, and she knew where to find it. The famous Dr. Hartwell, foreigner, doctor, revolutionary, and friend of the labouring masses, would surely hire her.</span><p style="margin-left: 40px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Side Note:</b> Mary has an Int of 8. Lamb, <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2020/04/osr-homunculi-and-bears-class.html">her homunculus</a>, has an Int of 10. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom was recovering from de-trollification surgery in Blumsworth Hospital. With a sharpened spoon, strong acid, a paintbrush, and opium, Dr. Hartwell cut away Tom's trollish eye, arm, and a chunk of his skull, then acidified his blood to prevent reinfection. Without Lizzy's guiding hand, her experimental troll centrifuge was deemed too dangerous. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">After surgery, Dr. Hartwell left Blumsworth Hospital to get some rest, while Doyle took over monitoring Tom's convalescence (and warding off Snedge-type assassins). As the good doctor walked through the hospital's gates, he was accosted by a tiny apprentice in rubberized alchemist robes and a gigantic nurse.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Hello hello!" Mary said. "I am Mary Berger and this is Nurse Lamb."</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Ghuh," Lamb said, staring at Dr. Hartwell with watery makeup-caked eyes. Mary had done her best, but even a mask, cap, and robe couldn't disguise Lamb's unnatural nature. Lamb wasn't the weirdest thing walking the streets of Endon these days (thanks to the Leonine Cartel's ability to polymorph strange pets), but the towering figure was still noteworthy.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Ah, hello," Dr. Hartwell said. "Wait. You're an alchemist." Doyle had been ranting about the Alchemists for days. He suspected they were up to something. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">On the third floor of the hospital, Doyle could see the conversation. "That's an alchemist," he muttered. "Stay here," he said to his heavily sedated friend, then walked to the window, opened it, and fell out. He activated his amulet of <i>featherfall</i>, opened his umbrella, and landed on his feet in the hospital's courtyard. He lit a cigarette and sauntered forward, ignoring the astonished bystanders.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Alchemists <i>are</i> up to something," Mary explained. "The exploitation of the labouring masses!"</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Anything beside that?" Doyle asked. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Well, I wasn't very high up in the Guild. Apprentice 4th class. So I don't know all their secrets... or any of their secrets."</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"And that... thing?" Doyle regarded Lamb with trepidation.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"This is Lamb, my very best friend. My parents told me to make friends at school, so I..."</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Yes, oh dear," Dr. Hartwell interrupted. "Well, I don't think she's a spy for the Alchemists," he said to Doyle. "They wouldn't be this obvious."</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Unless..." Doyle countered.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"But I'm <i>not</i> a spy!" Mary said indignantly. "I'm trained in alchemy. I can do all the fiddly glassware bits and get the flasks bubbling, no problem at all. And I'm also trained in basic field medicine, on account of all the explosions and burns. Please can I have a job?"</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"You made that?" Dr. Hartwell said, pointing at Lamb. Lamb stared at the doctor's finger. "Very well, you are hired as an apprentice. Talk to Professor Earl about the rates. Don't touch anything without permission."<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Yes!" Mary said, punching the air. <br /></span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">General Brockton <br /></span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Two weeks later, rumours that the Army (or some of it, at least) was returning from Foreign Parts to crush the Revolution sparked panic in Endon. The rumours were confirmed two days later when a proclamation from General Brockton was posted by monarchist loyalists on prominent street corners. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The General informed Endon that he would restore Parliament, place a temporary Monarch on the throne until Harold II could be located, undo the excesses (unstated) of the Revolution, execute a few traitors, and generally return Endon to a nostalgic golden age of prosperity, peace, and good government.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">He asked wizards to "respect their traditional role and not interfere in civil matters." This was a cunning political manoeuvre; wizards <i>had</i>, traditionally, kept out of politics. It gave hesitant wizards a way out of the dilemma they faced. They could simply let soldiers fight citizens, then join the winning side. If partisan wizards fought with full intensity, the results would be catastrophic; there wouldn't be an Endon to conqueror.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The PCs called a meeting at the Iron Spike. Tom, still in bed and wrapped in bandages, spent the conference leafing through a catalogue of prosthetic arms. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Option one," Doyle said. "We help the Army."</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Vetoed," Dr. Hartwell said. Tom grunted in agreement. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Option two," Doyle said. "We stay out of it. Let Benjamin Fits and the other revolutionaries fight the Army."</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Result: massacre," Dr. Hartwell added.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"If the army wins, we'll be fine... probably. If the revolution wins, we'll be traitors," Doyle continued. "Option three, we help the revolution. Result..."<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"I think I could blast an army," Tom said. "Run the lightning accumulator in reverse, or throw a magic battery at them, or maybe summon a series of iron golems..."</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Result: massacre," Dr. Hartwell said again.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"But of the wrong side!" Tom said plaintively.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Do you think the average soldier in Endon's army has the vaguest idea of the political aims of the Revolution? They are just annoyed they haven't been paid. And once you and every other wizard in Endon has blasted the army into smithereens, who will defend Endon?"</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"What does the Army do, anyway? I didn't think we were at war?" Tom said.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"The Army protects Endon's interests. In particular, the eight and a half percent minimum interest we charge on loans. They help maintain the balance of trade, open new markets, and defend the rights of commerce," Jonty said, from the other side of the room. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Well that's fine then," Tom said naively. Dr. Hartwell tried not to snap at him.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"In any case," Jonty said, "we have a fourth option. We tell the Army to go away."</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Go away or we'll blast ya!" Tom said. "Bang, zap, boom!"</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"No, we tell them to go away in an official letter signed by the Minister of War," Jonty said patiently.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"But the Minister of War exploded with Parliament."<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"We'll elect a new one. Show the Army that the Revolution is not a disorganized group of bickering wizards, opportunistic plutocrats, pamphlet-addled revolutionaries, drunkards, and thieves, but a legitimate government. Please hold your comments for the time being, Doyle."</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"But the General says he's going to attack in two days. Do we have <i>time</i> to have an election?," Tom asked.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"We do," Jonty said confidently. "I'll propose it at the Royal Palace immediately. Doyle and Dr. Hartwell, come with me. Tom, you should stay in bed. <br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOj6qdHWC9JCEzsqPJpBo5TdS5gHWs30AFp84nUoSW8rfVi0Ei8kq69tuIDWIbkICJIyUGgqsZGS7SCz8jro1tkG920qTn-UhPs6U4CAC0dSNsHLwPCNKd75LWx8a5VOfLDRjCPulQLU2XHdBmGpXL__Gtb2bGfff9-BUjvOfPlC3Q-z9tkGXnqAlUoz0/s1241/1496033788040.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1241" data-original-width="474" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOj6qdHWC9JCEzsqPJpBo5TdS5gHWs30AFp84nUoSW8rfVi0Ei8kq69tuIDWIbkICJIyUGgqsZGS7SCz8jro1tkG920qTn-UhPs6U4CAC0dSNsHLwPCNKd75LWx8a5VOfLDRjCPulQLU2XHdBmGpXL__Gtb2bGfff9-BUjvOfPlC3Q-z9tkGXnqAlUoz0/w244-h640/1496033788040.jpg" width="244" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A Snap Election</span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The old Royal Palace had become a meeting hall for the Revolution, neutral ground where anyone with a loud voice and a strong opinion could be heard. The building smelled of sawdust and sweat, as unpainted wood panels divided stately chambers into workrooms, barracks, and meeting halls. Benjamin Fits and some of the other dedicated revolutionaries lived in the palace full-time. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">At Jonty's subtle urging, the <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/05/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake_8.html">second Constitutional Congress </a>met that night and, with input from various groups,
adjusted <a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1DM5pb9r6E3h33nNqKkeRgvbhhkjEZqvS/view">Endon's draft constitution, the Magna Costermonger</a>, to a final and controversial form.
Some issues required hours of furious debate; others were slipped into
drafts and quietly accepted without anyone noticing. Single women got
the vote. Married women didn't. Instead, married men got two votes. <i>Nobody </i>is happy with this, and the demographic and social consequences will be immense, but it's currently the law. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Doyle
requested that "affordable speech" be changed to "cheap speech." He was
aware that Endon's merchants and landlords considered "affordable" to
be "exactly what the market will bear and then a little bit more", and
also recognized that Endon's press treated facts like exotic
curiosities.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The unwieldy 512 elected representatives of the
original draft were reduced to 64, creating a Parliament that was far
cozier and, coincidentally, easier to control."Getting 33 votes is far
easier than two hundred and fif... sixt..." Tom said later, trailing off as
his powers of mental arithmetic failed. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom, via Jonty, tried to
get the "regulate the use of magic" clause struck out, but failed to
convince enough delegates. "Wizards can police themselves!" he said.
"Why should Parliament get to decide what constitutes 'harm to another
person'?"</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Loxdon College refused to be included in any district map. Eligible students can still vote if they reside off-campus. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Other powerful wizards district around their main workshop or residence. Smacks of magical corporate feudalism, or Magiocracy-by-Proxy, to Dr. Hartwell. Instead of Members representing districts, they instead represent the major business in that district. Unless truly revolutionary or otherwise affiliated. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Parties and factions go against the spirit of the Revolution. Everyone is, in theory, united in a common cause. Parties are a symptom of a decadent and paralyzed oligarchy. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The parties Endon does not have include:<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>The Iron Spike Party.</b> With their slogan "Workers and Wizards", their symbol of the crossed wand and hammer (or a big beefy arm clutching a robed skinny arm), the Iron Spike Party is Tom's creation. Social programs include an ambitious rent-and-partially-construct-to-own housing scheme, urban beautification, and magic put into the service of ordinary people. There's more than a touch of Tower Madness in Tom's proposals </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Benjamin Fits and the Mechanics Societies.</b> The organized core of the Revolution, still reeling from its success. With their main goal accomplished (in theory), the subfactions within the working-class core of the Revolution are starting to bicker, splinter, and plot.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>The Guild of Alchemists</b>. Their candidates ran independently, or with the appearance of independence, but share alchemical leanings, training, or financing. A reservoir of anti-wizard sentiment. Doyle suspected the Alchemists were a major power behind the Revolution; the Oil of Azide that destroyed Parliament didn't fall off the back of a milk cart.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>The Leonine Cartel. </b>The polymorphers, producers of whale oil, cheap steaks by the cartload, and rare delicacies for anyone who can afford their prices. A nervous alliance of old capital and experimental wizardry, the Leonine Cartel has few proactive policies, but wants to avoid further instability in Endon. Free food is a powerful draw for the newly enfranchised or unemployed. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>George Miles</b>, inventor of the flying <i>Mira</i>, seemed to lack the
charisma and focus to meddle in city-wide politics, but ran a few
candidates for the districts around his workshops and factories, and
seemed to be on good terms with most wizards. <br /></span></p><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Earnest Perrin</b>,
a leader in teleportation magic, was far more active. His slowly
expanding network of stone teleportation circles, and his well-funded
legion of excavators, surveyors, and real estate agents, gave him a
solid political base. His views tended towards direct Magiocracy,
foreign trade, and an "obedient" police force. Paradoxically, despite
being arguably the only wizard in Endon whose ambitions rivalled Tom
Shambledrake's, Perrin was a major customer of Iron Spike Thaumaturgy.
His teleportation circles drained magic batteries at a ferocious rate.</span><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Snedge. </b>Running in the wealthy [area]. Old money, but the subtle kind. His policies appeal to both the wealthy and the merely affluent, while containing a mix of patriotism, revolutionary rhetoric, and good old-fashioned flattery that could easily carry him (horror of horrors!) into the New Parliament.<br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhriLsrkffIKrdhKVKVtND3-ve0FTaSfzEEjNUHWxKJzbZeDzs5bODxDb7gdQMpXyJGDvo6H23y02pFXhDr320Ci37I5zOzhlaWdgPz1-kl311p3iOEFT4WCJZEf7Ijy5gkuFsLsTCVdtnUvhzWrfAeUczwxTWVs5DD6JTtZPHIU4wtjKqfwvVWjhKqey0/s3310/Snedge%20Poster%201.png" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3310" data-original-width="1988" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhriLsrkffIKrdhKVKVtND3-ve0FTaSfzEEjNUHWxKJzbZeDzs5bODxDb7gdQMpXyJGDvo6H23y02pFXhDr320Ci37I5zOzhlaWdgPz1-kl311p3iOEFT4WCJZEf7Ijy5gkuFsLsTCVdtnUvhzWrfAeUczwxTWVs5DD6JTtZPHIU4wtjKqfwvVWjhKqey0/w384-h640/Snedge%20Poster%201.png" width="384" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Wizards
can vote, but cannot be elected to Parliament. Wizards do not
de-escalate well. There's always a risk of a heated debate turning into a
superheated debate, an expanding cloud of plasma, and mass casualties.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Dr. Hartwell is a wizard <i>and </i>a doctor. He argued that Doctor trumps Wizard (and both trump Foreigner), an argument that Endon silently accepted (or failed to hear). No <i>real</i> Wizard would ever call themselves anything but a Wizard. Under the banner of the Iron Spike Party, but with one foot in the caucus of the Leonine Cartel, he ran for a seat in the New Parliament with the explicit goal of creating and leading a novel Ministry of Health. Nobody else seemed to want the job. Dr. Hartwell recognized that some basic improvements, such as a sewer system, water treatment, a diet that included more vegetables, and not dumping magical waste over the fence and into the nearest alley, could significantly improve the quality of life for most Endoners. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Alan Dard had risen from gambler to mobster, from mobster to real estate investor, and from real estate investor to slightly shady Public Citizen of Means. He lamented, from his sumptuous and well-funded campaign office, that most of his time was spent doing paperwork. He was so corrupt that he'd accidentally stumbled into legitimate politics. He loved the Iron Spike Party like a dog loves lunch, and worked tirelessly among the people of Needle Circus.</span></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC1aFxicSL1VTjsYZdfRlwi9IUplWfBv8pH_egLHi_mr05d5hnJp-3OqU95En4dDrNBiFiB_nJrhCTup2Vi_O49N_4isLG_EWAzcX2BhGVAeknt5V2-N8lmN8zd0bjAiTF40pvZja9HpGBgiprWTjWt0hXdqJ0PvbX0WEsYaLz5pluLlEYvRyYsooKGks/s1460/alexey-egorov-evening-giants.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1460" data-original-width="1100" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC1aFxicSL1VTjsYZdfRlwi9IUplWfBv8pH_egLHi_mr05d5hnJp-3OqU95En4dDrNBiFiB_nJrhCTup2Vi_O49N_4isLG_EWAzcX2BhGVAeknt5V2-N8lmN8zd0bjAiTF40pvZja9HpGBgiprWTjWt0hXdqJ0PvbX0WEsYaLz5pluLlEYvRyYsooKGks/w482-h640/alexey-egorov-evening-giants.jpg" width="482" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.artstation.com/air-66">Alexey Egorov</a></td></tr></tbody></table><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Night Before The Election </span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Thanks to the finest and most expensive magical healing in Endon, Tom felt great. His new prosthetic arm, made of polished steel and bright ceramic, worked almost as well as his old one. It could transform into a sword, a shield, or a three-slot wand holster. His new eye, a perfect tourmaline crystal, should allow him to see invisible creatures and illusions. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Sure, he'd lost some of his conventional good looks, but his <i>unconventional </i>good looks were off the chart. With one tourmaline eye and one fire eye, with a magnificent hat and embroidered robes, and the confidence of owing the tallest tower in history, Tom felt invincible. He decided to investigate the reports of the a glowing light in the Great Crater at night. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"I'm going to investigate those reports of lights in the Great Crater," Tom said one evening. "There has to be a reason tours close at night."</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">On his twin brother's broomstick, Tom corkscrewed through the dark skies of Endon, heading for the earthen cone of the <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/05/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">Great Crater</a>, the former site of Parliament. Doyle, Dr. Hartwell, Mary, and Lamb waited in a cab on the edge of the crater.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom cast <i>invisibility,</i> then descended into the crater. The soft golden glow around the central spire resolved itself into the fuzzy outline of a dragon, a glowing sketch of the <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/05/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">exploded</a> <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/04/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">Balchezazar the Azure</a>. It raised an incandescent head and stared at Tom with unmistakeable malice. <i>Shambledrake, </i>it said, speaking directly to his mind.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Oh bugger</i>, Tom thought, and swung his broomstick upwards. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">From the ground, Tom was invisible, and the dragon-wraith pursuing him was just a suggestion of lights and fog. Parts of it flashed into visibility whenever it collided with a building or flared its wings to make a tight turn.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Follow that... glowing thing," Doyle said to the cabby.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">In a panic, Tom decided to head for Loxdon College. After the last dragon attack on Endon (just before Parliament exploded), the College had invested considerable energy in fortifying its ancient boundaries. If those wards couldn't stop a ghost dragon, Tom didn't know anything that could. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A few inches off the pavement, Tom passed through the wards with a faint flare of magic as his invisibility spell failed. The magic keeping his broomstick in the air also seemed to falter, sending him tumbling onto the pavement. The dragon, ethereal jaws snappng, pursued, slammed into the wards, and stopped. It coiled its body, dug its claws into the invisible barrier, and started to pry the wards apart. Octaire fire burst into the night sky, illuminating the dragon, Tom, and the speeding cab.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The dragon lunged forwards, teeth burning, and caught Tom in its jaws. The wounds were both physical and spiritual. Tom seemed to age before the group's eyes. His youthful chin sprouted a grey beard, his skin wrinkled, and his back bent under the weight of unnatural years and sapped vitality.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Hit it with everything you've got," Doyle said, leaping from the cab and pulling out his wand of <i>scorching ray</i>. Dr. Hartwell fired off <i>wave of mutilation</i>, while Mary and Lamb, lacking magic of any sort, ran forward to try and help Tom.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom, in a panic, called out for Uriah Shambledrake Junior, using his full and enchanted name in the hopes it would summon his time-cloned twin brother. It worked, and a moment later Uriah stepped through a nearby door using his <i><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/06/osr-alloy-wizard-civic-wizard-and.html">triple doorway</a></i> spell. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Doyle cast <i>knock</i> on the dragon, forcing it to vomit up the contents of its ethereal stomach, which included bits of Tom's soul. Tom de-aged as the torrent of ectoplasm washed over him... and over his soul-twin Uriah. Though Tom found the effect unnervingly revitalizing, Uriah seemed to be in agony, as his soul experienced an unprecedented crisis.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Instead of helping Tom, Mary scooped ectoplasm, wizard blood, and the groundwater of Loxdon College into a syringe, then injected it into Lamb. "Get it!" she said, pointing at the looming dragon. Lamb's body twitched and convulsed. Its jaw opening wider and wider as the homunculus dug its hands and feet into the ground. A moment later, it belched a column of coruscating blue-white flame into the dragon's face.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Good job Lamb!" Mary said, as the rest of the party stared in horror.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The ethereal dragon roared, aimed, and breathed a wave of white fog towards Lamb. Uriah quickly cast <i>wall of force</i> behind the Homunculus, protecting himself, Tom, and Mary but leaving the unnatural creature exposed. Lamb was smeared over the street.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"There should have been more bones," Doyle said, trying to keep his lunch down. "A thing like that should've had bones in it."</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Keep blasting," Dr. Hartwell said as he dug through his bag for another wand.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"I'm out of spells," Doyle replied. "I don't think weapons will work on this thing."</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Hit it with your magic sword then," Dr. Hartwell said, irritated.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"<a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/08/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">The magic sword you said came from a vampire in a floating evil castle?</a> No thanks," Doyle said. He'd secretly had the sword's enchantments examined, and while the "decaptiation" one was appealing, the "trap and revive the corpses of those you slay" spell worried him.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"I'll get it," Tom said feebly. He sat up, cast <i>lighting bolt, </i>and fell over. The blast illuminated the College and, as far as anyone could tell, scattered the remains of the etheral dragon.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"What the hell was that," Uriah said.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"What?!" Mary replied, as she tried to scoop Lamb's remains into a large pile.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Damnation, we're all deaf. Good work Tom," Uriah said. "You, detective. Help me drag my idiot brother through the portal."</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Dr. Hartwell cast <i>fix flesh</i> on Lamb's remains, returning the homunculus to life... or something close to it. Mary was overjoyed. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"At least we avoided the press," Doyle said, as he took one last look across Loxdon College. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">What new surprises would election day bring? Can a dragon ever truly die? What are the Alchemists planning? What does Uriah Shambledrake Jr. really want? </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Find out next time.<br /></span></p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-53104876659007275822023-08-18T12:09:00.003-06:002023-08-18T12:19:40.771-06:00OSR: Iron Gates Draft Content: The Arena of Rhen<p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2018/06/osr-iron-gates-mythic-itinerary.html">Iron Gates</a> is an Alexander Romance / Dark Souls setting guide. After years of (vague and unfocused) development, it's finally reached the point where I can start writing actual content.</span><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">If you want to see <a href="https://www.patreon.com/posts/87899983">six pages of very early Iron Gates content</a> focused on the Arena of Rhen, sign up to my <a href="https://www.patreon.com/coinsandscrolls">Patreon</a>.</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrgTG8C8AOoItwde5EvIdUel7fEf97ETNq_WxFR_3CYpvdzSxSIfAKTJ9YclGdfkB6jsgyGOnrPuLy8sRTjeefnYb8rD0GHfrE714SFa5xmOiDEGSPco7GmsJz__4_mRN6h2kWS6ypkmwCVefxP68EOfVu8Aa7rybsQFfZ3rTUPYZmLjZcjSoRQ1d2Hgs/s2401/The%20Iron%20Gates%20-%20Map%20of%20Rhen.png" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2329" data-original-width="2401" height="620" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrgTG8C8AOoItwde5EvIdUel7fEf97ETNq_WxFR_3CYpvdzSxSIfAKTJ9YclGdfkB6jsgyGOnrPuLy8sRTjeefnYb8rD0GHfrE714SFa5xmOiDEGSPco7GmsJz__4_mRN6h2kWS6ypkmwCVefxP68EOfVu8Aa7rybsQFfZ3rTUPYZmLjZcjSoRQ1d2Hgs/w640-h620/The%20Iron%20Gates%20-%20Map%20of%20Rhen.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">This map is a placeholder, as is all the art in the PDF. It's an edited version of <a href="https://arachne.dainst.org/entity/15904">these maps</a> from 1532. Names are currently real-world references to help me design the locations, but will be switched to in-setting references.<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Layout and Writing</span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/02/osr-monster-overhaul-megapost.html"><i>The Monster Overhaul</i></a> (which is now available, in case you missed it) was written and designed entirely in a layout program. Since monsters followed a standard template, this let me cram every page full of content without worrying about splitting a paragraph over two pages or cutting content. I could choose my words to fit the rows of a table or the width of a column, and design spreads and tools without worrying they'd be mangled in the transition from raw text to final PDF.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">This approach had a few downsides. <a href="https://daidesignworks.com/">Dai Shugars</a> can produce astonishing and skilful layouts like <a href="https://r-rook.itch.io/moonlight-on-roseville-beach"><i>Moonlight on Roseville Beach</i></a> and <i><a href="https://soulmuppet-store.co.uk/products/gangs-of-titan-city-1">Gangs of Titan City</a></i>. Forcing Dai to work with my spartan requirements for the <i>Monster Overhaul'</i>s layout was like demanding an award-winning chef cook plain rice. Sure, it's possible to screw up plain rice, and if you do you'll <i>really </i>notice, but it doesn't allow much in the way of showing off.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKiR_rlfZkaYZBZJ4i1EpQyU-EP4xEDlfbtPTeY6Gz5v7-3IqBrVez9luJoFwMsxz93diUKBRJc45ATln0H3RDTEZMaL2scEWHb3Pki6ZLcFbGwlIuakXeE0i0KqUujbkJtXFNGHlJvR8QNgp39NCdft6Xd2ZpO1VUFzukYcvcPEsNT0_iuPvTCkxOSIg/s1280/tumblr_04cf0385b315efb52b592cb57997ffda_e5e4f054_1280.png" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="1280" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKiR_rlfZkaYZBZJ4i1EpQyU-EP4xEDlfbtPTeY6Gz5v7-3IqBrVez9luJoFwMsxz93diUKBRJc45ATln0H3RDTEZMaL2scEWHb3Pki6ZLcFbGwlIuakXeE0i0KqUujbkJtXFNGHlJvR8QNgp39NCdft6Xd2ZpO1VUFzukYcvcPEsNT0_iuPvTCkxOSIg/w640-h512/tumblr_04cf0385b315efb52b592cb57997ffda_e5e4f054_1280.png" width="640" /></a><span style="font-family: arial;"> <br /></span></div><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">For <i>The Iron Gates</i>, while I'm still creating the book in a layout program, I am not sticking to strict templates. I'm deliberately leaving lots and lots of room for graphic design, art, and revisions. The layout program is a map, saying "I want this information on this page", but the how, the where, and the format will all be left to an expert. This means the current draft pages are hideous. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">While the book will still be aggressively utility-focused, I feel that a setting like this requires evocative layout. It can't present the world in a crisp manual-like manner. It needs to ooze secrecy and decay, evoke grandeur and wonder, and generally get the GM into the correct mindset. <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2018/02/osr-3-types-of-modules.html">Washing machine manual layout</a> will not do! </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I can also put zone and theme coding in the background. The pages for Rhen could have a different theme than the pages for Meridia, etc.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDuDEkKLOP2E5t7N8x4qeUxNN70xNorzAAlp0N_hhdYrl1G-MPxFyeuyO1lEdcNB8HaT7QMsezDSUfJImrAzCa_d5zGnDTt1ZE5ARecK9KZLfOu-8_zARTwrGBpn7mmchziBqHt0SfBYX2BJDjnwxZCWR8jQiQ8svM-YAMLv9_eEHvbo0AgNX4Jlzg6WI/s1600/Map%20of%20Iron%20Gates.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1223" data-original-width="1600" height="490" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDuDEkKLOP2E5t7N8x4qeUxNN70xNorzAAlp0N_hhdYrl1G-MPxFyeuyO1lEdcNB8HaT7QMsezDSUfJImrAzCa_d5zGnDTt1ZE5ARecK9KZLfOu-8_zARTwrGBpn7mmchziBqHt0SfBYX2BJDjnwxZCWR8jQiQ8svM-YAMLv9_eEHvbo0AgNX4Jlzg6WI/w640-h490/Map%20of%20Iron%20Gates.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2018/06/the-iron-gates-maps-clues-and-speeches.html">Very early world map from 2018</a>.<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /><br /></span><p></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Structure</span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I'm designing the Iron Gates as a series of nested pointcrawls. There's a continent-scale city/landmark based pointcrawl, but each city is a pointcrawl, and some locations within each city will be pointcrawls or 1-2 page dungeons. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Currently, the plan is to embed unique creatures within their chapters, instead of putting them in a catch-all bestiary chapter. Gladiators, for example, appear only in the Arena of Rhen. To minimize page flipping, it makes sense to put their stats near the Arena map, in the Rhen chapter.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">This choice does run the risk of creating duplicated statblocks. Elephants, for example, show up in the [Carthage] section and/or [India] section in happier circumstances. Where this occurs, the plan is to include a smaller local statblock, with a reference to larger half/full page spread elsewhere for cultural details, extra tables, etc.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Putting the monsters in the middle of location chapters does limit the number of monsters I can use in any one location. I can squeeze 4 monster statblocks onto one page, but two or three gives me more flexibility in layout. The Arena, as one of the major combat-based locations in Rhen, has four monsters and two boss fights.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Obviously, not every location can have 6+ pages of content, or the book would be 700 pages long and hopelessly unwieldy. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">In the draft pages, some words or items are placeholders for <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/04/osr-iron-gates-and-information-gating.html">thematic links</a> that don't yet exist. I know I want to do <i>something</i> with this concept/item/location, but the other end of the link hasn't been fully developed. <br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-RhvzF4uhwN9itVmDH6uhV32Bp4cpjjk0ebUsPXV_IadyagjVdAZHobJGEk29qFDLKNLGLwbmIpg2oIgrpw0385FlGG4j7NdZgfL5CBhHD6tYudZZUFQ_sLJ8Xs5W0dUhx5J5CE5jrsZyuc8XyD2Wz4uaWOWNKbpPJMsYpj5tsNnIbahvD5wEsaWQ8Po/s650/Griffon%20Helm.png" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="650" data-original-width="506" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-RhvzF4uhwN9itVmDH6uhV32Bp4cpjjk0ebUsPXV_IadyagjVdAZHobJGEk29qFDLKNLGLwbmIpg2oIgrpw0385FlGG4j7NdZgfL5CBhHD6tYudZZUFQ_sLJ8Xs5W0dUhx5J5CE5jrsZyuc8XyD2Wz4uaWOWNKbpPJMsYpj5tsNnIbahvD5wEsaWQ8Po/w311-h400/Griffon%20Helm.png" width="311" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Loot <br /></span></h3><span style="font-family: arial;">I'm testing a new format for items. <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2018/07/osr-iron-gates-dark-souls-armour-in.html">Loot is important in a Soulslike game</a>. Every item has to have some symbolic weight, some purpose or hint at the nature of the world.<br /></span><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I'm planning to embed loot within a bestiary entries. Some enemies, but not all, drop capital-L-Loot. Some only drop gold. Some drop nothing of value.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Items have a:</span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Material (Gold, Iron, etc.). If it just adds 1 to that character, it's not numbered. If it adds more than one, it's numbered. E.g. Iron II adds 2 Iron to the PC's total. Gold and Iron totals have mechanical effects.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Slot / Function (Head, Arms, etc.)</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">AC or Damage.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Extra rules.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Flavour text.</span></li></ul><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Items can have a set bonus. You can mix and match Gladiator items and still get the set bonus. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">In a perfect world with an unlimited art budget, every item will get a
unique non-public-domain illustration. In the real world, we'll see. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Ideally, the items will be printable on cards, like Dave Arneson's original magic swords in Blackmoor.</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl_2y4wI_J7caXzAxJRB1Ce975fCbKfI97pczoBOSiNkeySsMEk5XmJHJ-YwY1EV7i819Zo92_BL3micAnWrjU903KGx6ltL4ZlH_uX5QMv40MVZPVl2R8u6VLvjZ-V-pdE-tPOqUwqCffUvNgzSoyB_o5r3CVDWui4EeANCwP-wVTkuiDkKOSGneO4q4/s1920/bogdan-rezunenko-alcanost-aaaa.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1920" data-original-width="1798" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl_2y4wI_J7caXzAxJRB1Ce975fCbKfI97pczoBOSiNkeySsMEk5XmJHJ-YwY1EV7i819Zo92_BL3micAnWrjU903KGx6ltL4ZlH_uX5QMv40MVZPVl2R8u6VLvjZ-V-pdE-tPOqUwqCffUvNgzSoyB_o5r3CVDWui4EeANCwP-wVTkuiDkKOSGneO4q4/w600-h640/bogdan-rezunenko-alcanost-aaaa.jpg" width="600" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.artstation.com/pumpkinpie">Bogdan Rezunenko</a></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Minimal Text, Maximum Lore<br /></span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">It's easy to churn out page after page of setting lore. It's much more difficult to get anyone to read and digest your work. The Iron Gates will have as few paragraphs or pages of lore as possible. I intend to ruthless edit the book down to a bare minimum. Can this paragraph be a sentence? Can this sentence be an entry in a table? Can this table be thrown out entirely? </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I may also include real-world quotes, provided they don't contain any information that contradicts the setting. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">"Closing his eyes, he forbade his spirit to participate in those evils. And would that he had blunted his hearing! For when he was smacked by the whole crowd's huge shout at some fall in a fight, he was overcome with curiosity and as if prepared to despise and overcome whatever was going on, he opened his eyes and received a more severe wound in his soul than the gladiator received in his body, and fell more miserably than the man at whose fall the shouting happened.... For when he saw that blood, at once he drank up the savagery and did not turn away, but fixed upon the sight and sucked up the madness and lost his senses and was delighted with the crime of the contest and grew drunk on gory delight. He was no longer the man who had come, but one of the crowd, and a true companion of those who had brought him. In short, he spectated, he shouted, he blazed with emotion, and took away with him an insanity by which he was incited not only to return with those who had brought him, but even taking along others in their place." - <a href="https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Confessions_of_Saint_Augustine_(Outler)/Book_VI">St. Augustine</a></span></blockquote><p></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Details and Accuracy</span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Iron Gates is not a historically accurate setting. It can't be. It's based on the <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2018/06/osr-iron-gates-quotes-from-greek.html"><i>Alexander Romance</i></a> and <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2021/07/osr-iron-gates-in-cath-catharda.html"><i>In Cath Catharda</i></a>, and both texts bear only a slight resemblance to reality. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">You know what the Colosseum looks like, but the author of <i>In Cath Catharda</i> doesn't, or when it was built, or why. While writing the setting, I try to imagine what a poorly travelled and mildly credulous 14th century Irish monk would picture Rome or Byzantium, based on the available texts, and work from there. </span></p>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-31246088900515364092023-08-12T21:30:00.004-06:002023-08-12T21:32:31.452-06:00 OSR: The Mystery of Uriah Shambledrake Session 21 & 22 - A Castle in the Air<p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I<span>n the <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/06/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">previous installment</a>, the PCs:</span></span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Exploded a photograph.<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Experienced horrible sobriety.<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Participated in Endon's first ever car crash.</span></li></ul><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The PCs are:</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Tom Shambledrake</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2020/04/osr-class-electric-wizard.html">Electric Wizard</a>
and heir to the bankrupt Shambledrake estate. Inventor of the Lightning
Accumulator, the Lightning Inverter, and the Iron Spike. Currently afflicted with a troll arm and eye thanks to emergency trollblood healing.<br /><br /><b>Jonty Earl</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2021/04/osr-4-glog-classes-for-loxdon-college.html">Dandy</a>. Assistant Professor at Loxdon College. Deeply enmeshed in stock-jobbery and financial chicanery.<br /></span></span></span><span><span><span><b><br />Dr. Augustus Hartwell</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2018/01/osr-class-biomancer.html">Biomancer</a>.
A foreign doctor and self-described "quack", currently employed at
Blumsworth Hospital. Ally of speaking rats, workers, and other vermin.<br /><br /><b>Lizzy Ramchander</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/06/osr-alloy-wizard-civic-wizard-and.html">Potion Wizard</a>, former cook, former brewer, and current secretary to Doyle Wormsby. Can duplicate herself. Currently part troll as well.<br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Doyle Wormsby</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/06/osr-alloy-wizard-civic-wizard-and.html">Civic Wizard</a>, Private Investigator. Broke his arm in Endon's first automobile accident.<br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU5-8Q-Jj1F5FodW8K8SD6bLdn3m_4z94OberaES9hV7URST7z_mcOxkYBMkZJPDQO9lzEBswFt9e80LEihya87_IPrcLaqFx0Ry9B-qIi3PshhzlJ0u74Qvpc3oe7rkgHvK685vpyuoMYi_59d_RFutPMFEIqtSspK5bsoRM6BxKihXGZ1YPQh-ZF7z0/s1659/conor%20nolan%20wizard.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1659" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU5-8Q-Jj1F5FodW8K8SD6bLdn3m_4z94OberaES9hV7URST7z_mcOxkYBMkZJPDQO9lzEBswFt9e80LEihya87_IPrcLaqFx0Ry9B-qIi3PshhzlJ0u74Qvpc3oe7rkgHvK685vpyuoMYi_59d_RFutPMFEIqtSspK5bsoRM6BxKihXGZ1YPQh-ZF7z0/w556-h640/conor%20nolan%20wizard.jpg" width="556" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.conornolan.com/">Conor Nolan</a><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span>Tom rushed off to visit George Miles, creator of the flying Mira, and member of the defunct <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/06/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">Amateur Aeronautics Society</a>. Miles, terrified by Tom's appearance and vague threats, told him all he knew. It wasn't much. The Society was a club of ambitious wizards. At the dawn of the <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2019/10/osr-magical-industrial-revolution.html">Magical Indstrial Revolution</a>, they'd seen a future for systematized magic beyond textiles and waterwheels. </span></span></span></span><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Though intially united by a vision of a utopian magical future, the Society splintered immediately. Miles suspected the Shambledrakes were merely using the Society for their own unstated ends. He didn't know what Tom was, exactly, but knew that the three Shambledrakes had used some sort of time magic in the Society's last tumultuous days. <br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Edward Konivov</span><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> and Professort Tallerand left to create The Project. Miles remained noncomittal. His goal was flight and reaching the moon, not immortality, but he appreciated The Project's goals... if not their methods. <br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Lord Tarrigan-on-Burl had provided most of the funding. He was the mysterious figure who'd <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2019/10/osr-magical-industrial-revolution.html">vanished from the thaumograph</a>. Miles hinted at some form of truce. Lord T-on-B was opposed to The Project and their goal of universal immortality through time travel and memory extraction. Miles hinted that Lord T-on-B was no longer entirely human. He was the Society's first attempt at world-changing magic... and the experiment, whatever it was, worked too well. The truce let the Project pursue their goals, with only mild interference, because Lord T-on-B expected The Project to fail.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Tom, by investigating the thaumograph and targeting Lord T-on-B's origins, had activated some sort of defensive countermeasures. The truce was over. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>"What sort of countermeasures?" Tom asked, as a seven-foot-tall steel golem on a column of flame smashed through the window of Miles' office.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>After an eventful chase and some hasty spellcasting, the two wizards managed to dispatch the fire-filled golem while piloting a Mira over Endon's streets. The damage the golem managed to inflict resulted in Endon's second ever car crash, on the same day as the first.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>"Some sort of fire elemental in a suit, like a Gel Knight but on fire," was Lizzy's professional assessment. Tom, scorched, battered, and windblown, was not comforted.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /><br />After retrieving three amulets of <i>featherfall </i>from George Miles and calling him a cab, Tom set off for Loxdon College. The eclipse had thrown the faculty into a state of almost frenzied apathy. Leading theories included "cloud moths", "a new moon or minor planet", and "an optical illusion", but the leading theory was that the eclipse was a thaumic lens. A precursor to the magic accumulator, a thaumic lens was a spell that focused raw magic from sunlight into a condensed and useful form. Most were the size of tea saucers and similarly fragile. A lens thing large could accumulate a megathaum an hour, or more, and Tom thought he knew where all that magic was going.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>The iron sarcophagus he'd created to trap the body and soul of his twin, Uriah Shambledrake Junior, was a perfect magic barrier. Nothing could get in or out... in theory. But if Uriah Shambledrake Jr. had cast a titanic thaumic lens before fighting Tom, the lens could still be dumping magic into him. <i>Gentle repose</i> and the sarcophagus kept Uriah Shambledrake Jr.'s soul tethered to his body, so any spells he cast in life might still be working.The sarcophagus could contain several megathaums of raw magic, enough to turn most of Endon into a smoking crater.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Tom asked Professor Bazzard, a specialist in abjuration, to come to the Iron Spike and consult on the problem. Prof. Bazzard agreed, but was unable to determine what was happening inside the structure. She suggested Tom move the whole thing outside the city as fast as possible, but that teleportation magic would be a bad idea. While Jonty rounded up every geomancer and elementalist he could find, Tom, Lizzy, and Dr. Hartwell prepared for a high-altitude excursion. Doyle declined, pointing out that his arm was still broken.<br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br />If they couldn't defuse the bomb, they could at least prevent it from getting stronger, and bring some peace of mind to Endon's citizens at the same time. Chastity Flintwich had modified the group's remaining Mira, as part of a plan to escape Endon with her loot and back pay before the explosion. She reluctantly agreed to turn the vehicle over to Tom, but quit the Iron Spike company, bought a fast horse, and left town.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Chastity had modified the Mira with a sphere of gravity snail shells. By rapidly spinning the sphere, the direction of local gravity could be changed from "down" to "forwards". Properly aimed, the Mira could "fall" forward, or nose-first into the sky. Tom, Dr. Hartwell, and Lizzy launched themselves at the eclipse, stopping only to retrieve Uriah Shambledrake Jr.'s broomstick.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>The faculty of Loxdon College estimated the disc of the eclipse was "somewhere in the upper air" and could be destroyed by "a solid blow or strong magic." Bundled in warm clothes, the three wizards fell upwards. At the last possible moment, Tom realized the eclipse wasn't a thin disc of magic, but a solid stone structure, hanging impossibly in the air. He pulled Chastity's emergency brake, which spun the gravity snail shell device even faster, and converted it into what wizards call a "gravity oops" and causing the third Mira accident of the day. The imploding singularity spun the Mira around and sheared the bottom off the vehicle, including the soles of Dr. Hartwell's boots. The three wizards bailed out of the vehicle, clinging to the broomstick like deranged sloths, before landing in a shadowy stone courtyard.<br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifhCNujc1EG_EtQ8LRf6P71kG6Qil_kKfN-a1UoeK64U4dJ_1REPgLFEKqGYX7QZM2CGIpd35YtLou3rCpgzqC_CDvKkHcwbrUhOcg0tP2kaEbondQjBaX21xbWFmcEr1ptzKQ9lBMaMxXm8KLe-su5P7PC_Gmetx0BMJ0Ot7e2z_JCCOfG4o31Bql0tE/s1500/1558165421682.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="875" data-original-width="1500" height="374" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifhCNujc1EG_EtQ8LRf6P71kG6Qil_kKfN-a1UoeK64U4dJ_1REPgLFEKqGYX7QZM2CGIpd35YtLou3rCpgzqC_CDvKkHcwbrUhOcg0tP2kaEbondQjBaX21xbWFmcEr1ptzKQ9lBMaMxXm8KLe-su5P7PC_Gmetx0BMJ0Ot7e2z_JCCOfG4o31Bql0tE/w640-h374/1558165421682.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Order: 1886 concept art<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span></span></span></span></span></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><br />The eclipse wasn't caused by a thaumic disc. It was caused by a gigantic gothic castle floating in the air, with its own gravity, currently at around 90 degrees to the world below. Skulls, bats, hooded statues, and other morbid decorations covered every available surface, in defiance of logic and taste. </span></span></span></span><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Tom assumed the castle was the lair of his twin brother Uriah, pulled into this reality or perhaps created from scratch; an inverted tower to match the Iron Spike. Tom assumed he could pass for Uriah in dim light, and set off to explore "his" castle.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Behind a pair of stone doors, inside a great hall, Tom discovered six animated skeletons in servant livery setting a table. They beckoned the group inside. Tom introduced himself as Uriah, said that Dr. Hartwell and Lizzy were his guests, but did not sit at the table. Lizzy opened a cloche to discover her own severed head on a platter. The illusion screamed at her. Lizzy screamed back, slammed the cloche shut... then stuffed the whole thing in her handbag. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>"Take me to the Inner Sanctum," Tom commanded, and a liveried skeleton dutifully lead the party up a flight of stairs and into a shadowy study. Huge windows gave them a view of Endon's distant lights from above. A claw-footed stone desk and a high-backed chair faced the windows. Lizzy flicked back the drapes to bring a bit more light into the room, turned to see what was in the chair, screamed, stumbled, and fell through the window.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Tom leapt onto the broomstick, charged through the falling glass, snagged Lizzy by the coat, hauled her onto the stick, managed to aim back towards the window, and crashed into the room, all without pausing for breath. Dr. Hartwell tore down a curtain to try and cushion the impact. It didn't help.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>"What was that!?" Tom asked, trying to unbend the point of his wizard hat.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>"There's a man in that chair!" Lizzy said, pointing. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>The other two wizards slowly turned. There was indeed a man in the chair, rising slowly and graciously to greet his guests, despite their window-breaking and curtain-shredding shenanagins.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>"Good evening," the figure said, bowing slighly. "Welcome to my castle."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Tom suddenly realized that this was not Uriah Shambledake Jr.'s castle. The figure resembled the mysterious disappearing figure in the thaumograph of the Amateur Aeronautics Society, the ellusive Lord Tarrigan-on-Burl, the group's nemesis from the very beginning. <br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>"<span style="font-size: x-small;">Fangs,</span>" Lizzy whispered to Dr. Hartwell, holding up two fingers in front of her canines. "<span style="font-size: x-small;">Oily hair. Evening dress. Evil castle.</span>"</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"I was expecting the other Shambledrake," Lord Tarrrigan-on-Burl continued, "but you will suffice." He drew a glowing green sword and swung it at Tom's neck.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Lizzy cast <i>grease</i> before the vampire's swing reached its apex. The sword slipped from his hands and sailed out the window.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">From the Iron Spike, Doyle spotted the green flash on the eclipse, and the subsequent sparkling green comet. He decided to investigate on the ground, eventually locating and retrieving the sword.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Meanwhile, in the castle, Tom, Dr. Hartwell, Lizzy, and the vampire all watched the sword receed into the distance for a beat, then started fighting properly. Tom attacked with Uriah Shambledrake Jr's axe of black glass. Dr. Hartwell threw his lantern at the vampire, setting it on fire, and then covered the dapper undead in a curtain.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"You would use fire against me?" Lord T-on-B said, flinging the burning curtain aside and casting <i>summon fire elemental</i>. Lizzy cast <i>cone of dense foam</i>, soaking everything, including the rising flames, in a cloud of beer-scented liquid. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The resulting confusion gave Tom enough time to retreat, dig out his spellbook, and cast <i>light</i>, dumping enough magic into it to ensure the spell had all the properties of natural sunlight. The vampire screamed, sizzled, and collapsed into ash. Lizzy prodded the remains with her foot. "Ooh look, a fang!" she said, and put it in a sealed vial.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Do you hear that?" Dr. Hartwell asked. "I think this castle is collapsing."<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Must have been a load-bearing vampire," Lizzy said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"All these books are fake!" Tom cried from the other side of the room. "They're just props! There's no forbidden lore here."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">With a prop book stuffed in his pocket, Tom remounted his broomstick, helped the other two wizards clamber aboard, and flew out the window, aiming for the Iron Spike and safety. The castle crumbled and faded behind them, revealing, briefly, a complex magical instrument the size of a cottage, which also vanished in the light of the newly revealed sun.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Could that have been a light-to-stone engine? Similar to the lightning inverter, perhaps, but instead of lighting to magic, magic to stone? Ingenious!" Tom said, squinting over his shoulder.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Less talking more steering!" Dr. Hartwell cried.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Once on the ground, the group immediately started to move the iron sarcophagus out of the city. According to Prof. Bazzard, whatever magic was happening inside it was still happening, eclipse or no eclipse. The group's hired elementalists cast <i>control earth </i>under the sarcophagus, and, with a great wailing and gnashing of teeth from the residents who lived along the route, sent it out of the city on a tidal wave of soil and stone. The PCs followed behind in a hired carraige. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Half a mile from Endon's newest suburb, the sarcophagus started to smoke and crackle. "Bury it!" Tom yelled, pointing down, and the elementalists dutifully tried to sink the strucutre into the earth.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The sarcophagus disintegrated in a burst of light and sizzling droplets of iron. A pair of draconic wings of golden light emerged from the wreck, carrying Uriah Shambledrake Junior upwards. He was alive and, even at a distance, visibly furious. "Finally free!" he roared.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom sighed, hopped on the broomstick, and flew closer. "Hello," he said politely. "Look, this is all a bit silly can we talk?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Talk?! Pah! You trapped me in this fiendish device! Do you know how difficult it was to return to life?" </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I didn't know you<i> could </i>return to life!" Tom said. "How did you manage it?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"How did you manage to end the eclipse?" Uriah replied.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Oh, that? Went up, fought a vampire, blew up a castle," Tom said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"You... fought Lord Tarrigan-on-Burl? And won?" Uriah said, shocked.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I am a very powerful wizard, you know," Tom said. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"You shouldn't be. By all rights, you shouldn't be."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"What do you know about my, err, our origin? Because I am very confused, and a bit worried, and things are clearly spiralling out of control. Now we should either fight this out," Tom bluffed, as he had no spells remaining, "or establish a truce. I vote for a truce."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In the distance, Lizzy shouted that she also voted for a truce.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Uriah sighed, climbed down the heap of stone and rust flakes, and accepted. "But I want my axe back," he said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"The axe... will be discussed soon," Tom said, clutching the weapon protectively. Wizards rarely give up magic items willingly.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisJFPSopkDiFvr2oGFXQKiiqTHchVuc4swMVdIF9FvTeZ68ImNHwM_QPG7FU5cIoRhIzkWPyuHS1LBIQh4FnHXHZBcOMhFk5DAQ7ybGc1kDY9SFYGqBWqapwg5EG3doRqVeTg_VjZgIB66zIf2mARdM0BgE0DcL5mrK1JxV0G3I0s-v3_BOgpLamrXKc8/s1918/yuri-hill-mars106-4.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1069" data-original-width="1918" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisJFPSopkDiFvr2oGFXQKiiqTHchVuc4swMVdIF9FvTeZ68ImNHwM_QPG7FU5cIoRhIzkWPyuHS1LBIQh4FnHXHZBcOMhFk5DAQ7ybGc1kDY9SFYGqBWqapwg5EG3doRqVeTg_VjZgIB66zIf2mARdM0BgE0DcL5mrK1JxV0G3I0s-v3_BOgpLamrXKc8/w640-h356/yuri-hill-mars106-4.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.artstation.com/hill" style="font-family: arial;">Yuri Hill</a><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />Over a very tense and unusual dinner, Uriah Shambledrake Jr. revealed that he and Tom were, as suspected, time clones. Since time immemorial, the Shambledrake family owed fealty to The Shambledrake, a diseased or misbegotten dragon that lurked beneath Shambledrake Manor. It claimed the firstborn child of each generation as its champion and mouthpiece. Uncle Uriah was one, and so, currently is Uriah Shambledrake Junior.</span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom's parents did not want to give up their only child, and used Edward Konivov's time magic and an eighfold mirror to create two children, and raised them on opposite sides of a mirror. When The Shambledrake realized it had been duped, it arranged for an accident to claim Tom's parents on both sides of the mirror, the famous hot air balloon disaster that initiated Tom's fascination with lightning. Konivov's time magic allowed both parents to spend a bit of time with their children, but could not avert their fate.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">But before that, filled with zeal and ambition, the Society had tried to circumvent the limitations of the human body. Magic is taxing; spells that could be attempted, in theory, will, in practice, explode a wizard's soul or shred their flesh. But a creature that is already dead, a soul empowering a corpse, can avoid some of the side-effects. The Society attempted to "perfect" vampirism, usign an ancestor of Lord Tarrigan-on-Burl kept in the family vault as a test subject. This was blatant necromancy, but, according to Uriah Shambledrake Junior, they hoped to turn Lord T-on-B into a <i>living </i>vampire, or something even stranger. He wasn't sure if the experiment was a success or not, but in any case, Lord T-on-B was a potent foe.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Time wizards, dragon wizards, death wizards," Dr. Hartwelll said, "Fucking around and finding out." It was an apt summary of the Amateur Aeronautics Society.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"So the vampire in that castle wasn't the real Lord T-on-B, but his distant ancestor?" Lizzy asked.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Possibly. You destroyed it, correct?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Yup!" Lizzy said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"And you tracked it to its coffin, staked it in the heart, and cut off its head, preventing it from rising again?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Y... maybe," Lizzy said. Dr. Hartwell sighed. "Oh wait," she said. "We have his fang! We can use that to track him. It's been rattling inside this vial for the last hour. I bet it wants to join up with the rest of him. I can make a vampire compass!"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"That is a distressing thought, but yes, please do," Tom said. "In the morning, we'll hunt a vampire."</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"When I said to pack stakes, Lizzy, I meant the wooden ones, not..."</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Oh I know," Lizzy said, opening the second compartment of the picnic hamper. "But I thought to myself, 'Steak sandwiches would make this expedition much more fun.'" </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"This is a vampire hunt," Uriah said humourlessly, "not a picnic."</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"It can be both."</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jonty took one look at the vampire fang compass and suddenly remembered he had an urgent appointment elsewhere in the city. The clattering fang lead the rest of the PCs to Old Endon Cemetery. The warden took one look at the group's assorted weapons, shovels, lanterns, mallets, stakes, and silverware (as they hadn't had time to locate proper silver weapons) and refused to let them enter.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom correctly pointed out that Dread Necromancy was afoot, and that as a distinguished wizard of Endon, it was his duty to destroy it. He also provided a generous donation to the upkeep fund. Shovels in hand, the group approached the mausoleum of the Tarrigan-on-Burl family. Doyle cast <i>knock</i> to smash the iron gate open and the group piled down the stairs and into the small stone room. Four lacqured coffins, their copper labels corroded beyond legibility, rested in alcoves in the walls.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"I bet if we pull this wall sconce a secret door will open," Lizzy said.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"That sort of thing only happens in penny dreadfuls," Doyle said dismissively, but Lizzy pulled the sconce anyway and a secret door dutifully creaked open. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"I think this vampire reads penny dreadfuls," she said. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Inside the secret room, a suitably gothic coffin stood alone in a small room. The group gathered around it, miming their actions and nodding in silence. Tom pushed the stone lid off the casket, revealing an awake, alert, and very murderous vampire. As the lid crashed to the floor, the iron door to the mausoleum began to rattle and flow, slowly sealing the only exit. All four of the other coffins started to rattle. And the entire structure began, slowly, to sink into the earth.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The next few minutes were filled with confusion, spellcasting, and terror. While Uriah fought the vampire with the axe Tom had generously returned to him, the other wizards fought the creatures that emerged from the coffins. They were hideous necromantic creations, wire-bound ghouls with ticking clockwork hearts, and their grasp not only paralyzed victims but seemed to drain their vitality. In the cramped mausoleum, Tom couldn't deploy his lightning spells, Lizzy couldn't use <i>cloudkill</i>, and Doyle couldn't use his drain-cleaning Thomas Gun.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">While Dr. Hartwell's <i>wave of mutilation</i> spell, Doyle's dueling pistol, and Tom's <i>rubberize</i> spell helped a bit, Lizzy was badly wounded by a ghoul before the last monster was slain. Uriah sawed off the vampire's head, noticed a strange crystal object embedded in its neck, and began messily disassembling its head.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Priorities!" Tom said angrily. "We're sinking!"</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Uriah sighed and cast <i><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/06/osr-alloy-wizard-civic-wizard-and.html">triple doorway</a></i>, binding the secret door to a workshop door in the Iron Spike. "Run!" he said. Dr. Hartwell dragged Lizzy through. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> "We'll cast gentle repose," Tom said, examing Lizzy's body. "We've gone back in time to save her once. I guess we'll do it again. Or maybe we can use a golem body to..."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>"No," Dr. Hartwell said. "No more necromancy. Lizzy is dead and she is going to stay dead."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Doyle took off his hat. "I agree. I don't like it, but necromancy is what started this mess. We have to do better. And I don't mean come up with a magical solution that's not technically necromancy," he continued, catching the glint in Tom's mismatched eyes.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>"The Project will save her," Uriah Shambledrake Jr. said, though with a hint of doubt. "Paradise cannot be reserved for the elect. It must be for everyone."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>"At least she died fighting our nemesis," Tom said. "And with Lord Tarrigan-on-Burl dead..."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>"Is he though?" Doyle said.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>"Stake, decapitation..."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>"But was that vampire the real Lord Tarrigan-on-Burl? I think Lizzy was right. This felt theatrical. A distraction, a stage show, or what?"</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>"I'm sure we'll find out," Tom said bitterly.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Who, or what, is Lord Tarrigan-on-Burl? Is Uriah Shambledrake Junior a trustworthy ally? What is a Shambledrake? Who is really behind the Revolution? And, after all this time, who killed Uriah Shambledrake Sr?<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></p>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-75707654380547369762023-07-27T02:37:00.001-06:002023-08-04T07:54:42.644-06:00OSR: The Monster Overhaul Is Now Available<p><span style="font-family: arial;"><b><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/02/osr-monster-overhaul-megapost.html">The Monster Overhaul: A Practical Bestiary</a></b> is now available for general sale! <br /></span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>US </b>(and the rest of the world): <a href="https://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/The-Monster-Overhaul-Print-PDF.html">Indie Press Revolution</a></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Canada:</b> <a href="https://composedreamgames.com/marketplace/the-monster-overhaul">Compose Dream Games</a></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>UK/EU: </b><a href="https://soulmuppet-store.co.uk/products/the-monsters-overhaul">SoulMuppet</a>.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>PDF</b>: <a href="https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/421868/The-Monster-Overhaul">DriveThruRPG</a>.</span></li></ul><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Check out <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/02/osr-monster-overhaul-megapost.html"><b>The Monster Overhaul Megapost</b></a> for reviews, links, and other information. <br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-po5IYfCItpvTEa2C3S0xB_CM3tduxgbr51tCjm6Hb0NXPL3qS-j0ekDncDOyPNEmwHdzFbmxxK7DDvALvBqRCyn68oGsiGqdp33ZaJ2q9chPbfFnnwRlvl7ExRCoZz9vjwKalh--SN5E-FasjE_lPfEztF9poZ8rBVIoXtT87IRWWYk2I3n616rZPrA/s1645/F1POqbuXgAMlx_v.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1645" data-original-width="1375" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-po5IYfCItpvTEa2C3S0xB_CM3tduxgbr51tCjm6Hb0NXPL3qS-j0ekDncDOyPNEmwHdzFbmxxK7DDvALvBqRCyn68oGsiGqdp33ZaJ2q9chPbfFnnwRlvl7ExRCoZz9vjwKalh--SN5E-FasjE_lPfEztF9poZ8rBVIoXtT87IRWWYk2I3n616rZPrA/w534-h640/F1POqbuXgAMlx_v.jpg" width="534" /></a></div><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I'm
at the stage of my DMing career -- in the neighborhood of 40 years,
yikes -- where I want things to be immediately useful at the table. (I
have inspiration for days at this point, thanks.) A book that instantly
gives me a list of names for NPCs when my players would rather talk than
fight, a random table of colorful descriptions, other things that
answer the needs of an actual DM playing the actual game? Yes, please.<br /><br />Too
many books seem to have never been playtested and, moreover, have
little to no connection to how they will be used in actual play. This is
the exact opposite of that, and I love it. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-<a href="https://www.enworld.org/threads/the-monster-overhaul.691534/">Whizbang Dustyboots</a></span></p></blockquote>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-69878896452941334322023-07-11T19:40:00.006-06:002023-07-11T20:27:17.211-06:00Narracio de Mirabilibus Urbis Romae - More Wonders of Rome<p><span style="font-family: arial;">In <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/07/mirabilia-urbis-romae-wonders-of-rome.html">the previous post</a>, I examined the anonymous 12th century guide to the city of Rome, the <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirabilia_Urbis_Romae">Mirabilia Urbis Romae</a></i>. In this post, I'm going to examine two related but less widely distributed texts, the <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_mirabilibus_urbis_Romae">Narracio de Mirabilibus Urbis Romae</a></i> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_mirabilibus_urbis_Romae"><i>De Septem Mundi Miraculis</i></a>.<br /><br />Finding the Latin text of Gregorius' <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_mirabilibus_urbis_Romae">Narracio de Mirabilibus Urbis Romae</a> </i>wasn't difficult, and there's a good modern English translation from <a href="https://carleton.ca/aah/people/osborne-john/">John Osborne</a>. He's tried to preserve the register switches and grammatical... peculiarities of the original. As the traslation is not in the public domain, I'm going to quote selected portions rather than comment on the whole text<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />The <i>Narracio </i>is a personal account, not a collection of tales or a collaborative legendarium/guidebook. It still contains magic and wonders, but they're either firsthand accounts or plausible borrowings from known sources.<br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">I do not, then, think of Gregorius as merely a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandeville%27s_Travels">Sir John Mandeville</a>. I believe he had visited Rome. In the sections which are peculiar to his work he does seem to show an actual knowledge of what he describes,—of the spinario, the statue of Venus, the bath of Apollonius, the brazen tablet, and other things. He cites the authority of the Roman clerics for various stories, and refuses to believe all that the ordinary pilgrims have to tell. In short, though far from an intelligent observer, he is not an absolute and wilful liar. <br /><br />-<a href="https://academic.oup.com/ehr/article-abstract/XXXII/CXXVIII/531/408050?redirectedFrom=fulltext"><i>Magister Gregorius de Mirabilibus Urbis Romae</i>, M.R.James, 1917</a><br /></span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Gregorius is curious, but inexperienced. He starts off with a structure and a plan, but rapidly gives up. The text cuts off abruptly without explanation. Perhaps he ran out of time, content, or patience. He begins with a standard apologetic prologue, but with more sincerity than usual. <br /></span><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">At the special request of my comrades, specifically Master Martin, Lord Thomas, and several others whom I greatly respect, I have been constrained to set down on paper those things which I have seen in Rome that are most worthy of admiration. I fear however that my poorly-composed report may disturb your sacred study and interrupt the delights of holy scripture, [1] and I blush to offend ears accustomed to the lectures of the foremost scholars with my unpolished prose. After all, who wouldn’t think twice about inviting to a plain and frugal repast guests who are accustomed to delicacies? That explains why my lazy hand has had to be prodded to take up my promised task, for often, just as I was about to pick up my pen, my mind would shrink from the subject when I considered the poverty of my disordered discourse. However, the wishes of my colleagues have finally overcome my bashfulness. In order not to delay the promised truth I have taken up my pen in my awkward and clumsy hand, and I have set for the work, as best I can, in the following manner.</span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">[1] This could be ironic, as Gregorius’ report is largely secular and completely free of the usual biblical quotations and references, he doesn’t seem to like Pope Gregory, and he is heartily sick of pilgrims. <br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Here begins the account of the wonders of the city of Rome, which have been fashioned either by magic craft or by human labour…</span></blockquote><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinv32BEEXKkr4S5ngipKZYIX__HEkqfPreN-lwhxGLrmleSMhAYFIAHIkUjJWSfYEVcuJbiXiRlXtOME7R-bPID4L7mAPkXIc8Pdw_2ZYAKeaxzsiGSQnaWymb2I-YAgJVi0U87xNjcQoebAd3-5wd34pey3FwP4Q0aMSF7LVuRtsobaHneDJanKZvYXY/s2500/image.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1896" data-original-width="2500" height="486" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinv32BEEXKkr4S5ngipKZYIX__HEkqfPreN-lwhxGLrmleSMhAYFIAHIkUjJWSfYEVcuJbiXiRlXtOME7R-bPID4L7mAPkXIc8Pdw_2ZYAKeaxzsiGSQnaWymb2I-YAgJVi0U87xNjcQoebAd3-5wd34pey3FwP4Q0aMSF7LVuRtsobaHneDJanKZvYXY/w640-h486/image.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://arachne.dainst.org/entity/15904">Antiquae urbis Romae cum regionibus simulachrum</a><br />Marco Fabio Calvo, 1532</span></td></tr></tbody></table><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The City of Rome</span></h3><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">I believe this ruin teaches us clearly that all temporal things will soon pass away, especially as Rome, the epitome of earthly glory, languished and declines so much every day. <br /><br />[…] <br /><br />The horse, the rider, and the columns were lavishly gilded, but in many places the gold has fallen victim to Roman avarice, and time has also taken its toll. The rider raises his right hand, as if to address the people or to give orders; his left hand holds a reign, which turns the horse’s head aside to the right, as if he were about to ride away in another direction. A little bird, which they call a cuckoo, sits between the ears of the horse, and under the hoofs there is a sort of dwarf, who is being trodden upon. He makes a wonderful image of the agonies of death. <br /><br />Just as this admirable work has been assigned different names, so too have a variety of reasons been proposed for its manufacture. I shall give a wide berth to the worthless stories of the pilgrims and the Romans in this regard, and shall record what I’ve been told by the elders, the cardinals, and the men of greatest learning. </span></blockquote><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">This is the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equestrian_Statue_of_Marcus_Aurelius">statue of Marcus Aurelius</a>. We've read one story in the <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/07/mirabilia-urbis-romae-wonders-of-rome.html">previous post</a>. Gregorius offers two more.<br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Those who call him Marcus give this account of its origin. There was a certain king of the Miseni, a dwarf, who was more skillful than any other man in the perverse arts of magic. After he had subjugated the neighboring kings, he attacked the Romans, whom he easily defeated in several encounters. For his magic so blunted his enemy’s strength and the keenness of their weapons that they completely lost the will to fight, and their weapons the power to inflict wounds. Because he defeated the Romans easily in every engagement, they were reluctant to leave their fortifications, and eventually found themselves surrounded by a tight blockade. Penned up in this way, they were unable to obtain any reinforcements. <br /><br />Every day before dawn this magician would come out of his camp alone, and while the loud cry of a bird could be heard coming from the camp, he would practice his magic arts alone in a field. By certain secret words and powerful spells he made it impossible for the Romans to muster their strength and defeat him. </span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">The rest of the plan can be easily surmised, especially if you’ve read the version in the Mirabila. <br /></span><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Marcus was to go out by night, and when he discovered that the king of the Miseni had left his camp, he was not to attack him with his weapons, since these had no power to hurt the king, but to seize him and carry him back inside the walls. Marcus gave his complete assent, and in middle of the night passed through the wall. <br /><br />[…] <br /><br />Captured in a manner he had not foreseen, the magician was then carried back inside the wall, and fearing that any delay might allow their captive to free himself by his magic craft, Marcus trampled him to death beneath the hoofs of his horse as everyone looked on, for the king could not be harmed by weapons.</span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Gregorius follows this story with an alternative explanation based on a story from Livy. Just for fun, here's the original tale from Livy.<br /></span></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In this year, owing either to an earthquake or the action of some other force, the middle of the Forum fell in to an immense depth, presenting the appearance of an enormous cavern. Though all worked their hardest at throwing earth in, they were unable to fill up the gulf, until at the bidding of the gods inquiry was made as to what that was in which the strength of Rome lay. For this, the seers declared, must be sacrificed on that spot if men wished the Roman republic to be eternal. The story goes on that M. Curtius, a youth distinguished in war, indignantly asked those who were in doubt what answer to give, whether anything that Rome possessed was more precious than the arms and valour of her sons. As those around stood silent, he looked up to the Capitol and to the temples of the immortal gods which looked down on the Forum, and stretching out his hands first towards heaven and then to the yawning chasm beneath, devoted himself to the gods below. Then mounting his horse, which had been caparisoned as magnificently as possible, he leaped in full armour into the cavern. Gifts and offerings of fruits of the earth were flung in after him by crowds of men and women. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-<a href="https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/From_the_Founding_of_the_City/Book_7#5">Livy, <i>Ab Urbe Condita</i>, Book 7 Ch 5</a></span></p></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Gregorius’ tale is... slightly different, both in detail and in theme. <br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Another explanation of this statue… A great chasm opened in the ground at the Palace of Sallust, spewing forth sulphurous fire and foul air. This caused a terrible plague which killed a great many Romans. When the daily death toll from this pestilence began to mount, the citizens consulted Phoebus and discovered that it would only abate if some Roman were to set the well-being of the populace ahead of personal consideration and willingly throw himself into the chasm. Accordingly a certain Roman citizen, of good family but getting on in years and leading an inactive life which brought no benefit to either himself or to his city, was implored to sacrifice himself for the common good, in return for which his family would be showered with wealth and raised to the ranks of the ruling class. </span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Having read the story in Livy, how do you expect this tale to end? Wrong! <br /></span><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">He refused categorically, replying that the recognition of posterity was of little use to him if he had to enter the underworld alive. <br /><br />When no one could be found in the whole city who would consent to perform this act of self-sacrifice, Quintus Quirinius addressed an assembly of the entire population. […] Undaunted and in high spirits, as if on his way to a party, he mounted his horse and in full view of everyone hurled himself at great speed into the opening. Immediately a cuckoo flew out, the chasm closed its jaws, and the plague departed. <br /><br />Thus freed from this great curse, the Romans erect an eternal memorial in his honour, because of this supreme act of service. To this they added the horse, because Quntius had made his sacrifice while mounted on it, Between the ears of the horse they placed the bird which had flown out of the chasm, and beneath the horse’s hoofs they put the dwarf who lay with his wife. </span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">This dwarf was not previously mentioned. <a href="https://academic.oup.com/ehr/article-abstract/XXXII/CXXVIII/531/408050?redirectedFrom=fulltext">M.R. James</a> says, “The explanation of the nanus at the end is very awkward. The figure ought surely to have represented the lazy citizen who refused to sacrifice himself” I like the editorial critique six centuries after publication. The cuckolding dwarf is absolutely consistent with the prevailing sense of humour at the time and tourist stories since time immemorial. </span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjChcDaRPAOUCdiXnLZG7WBXwsFilC1myfcF3WsnaEQAEarROvnPjMXSJ_HNWaAHrhVvrSFiqV-RENwHzkHS8fX3kcU4L-LCjFWhEgYrvqY0G3uneiraBrmVL4PVgT-LaODi7TVluX-j7inQE4ZfFMwoqWfMbUrBjtq2IVljecrRgedTRPrSgTH8BlUHvM/s1000/71Z57R2R5VL._AC_SL1000_.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="586" data-original-width="1000" height="376" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjChcDaRPAOUCdiXnLZG7WBXwsFilC1myfcF3WsnaEQAEarROvnPjMXSJ_HNWaAHrhVvrSFiqV-RENwHzkHS8fX3kcU4L-LCjFWhEgYrvqY0G3uneiraBrmVL4PVgT-LaODi7TVluX-j7inQE4ZfFMwoqWfMbUrBjtq2IVljecrRgedTRPrSgTH8BlUHvM/w640-h376/71Z57R2R5VL._AC_SL1000_.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Italian engraving, 1831<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">The third statue is that of the Colossus, which
some think to be a statue of the sun, while others call it the image of
Rome. What is particularly astounding about this piece is how so great a
mass could have been cast, how it was raised and how it could stand.
For its height, as I have discovered it written, was 126 feet. This
enormous monument stood on the island of Herodius, at the Colosseum,
fifteen feet higher than the loftiest points in the city. It held a
sphere in its right hand, and a sword in its left, the sphere
representing the world, and the sword military prowess. The Romans
entrusted the sphere to the right hand because it is more virtuous to
rule than to conquer. <br /><br />[…] <br /><br />The bronze image was
completely gilded with imperial gold and it shone in the darkness. The
strangest thing of all about it was that it turned continuously in a
motion equal to that of the sun, which it therefore always face, and
because of this many believed that it was the image of the sun. <br /><br />[…] <br /><br />Although
of horrific size, one can nonetheless admire in them the great skill of
their maker, and indeed nothing of the perfect beauty of the human head
or hand is lacking in any part. It’s quite amazing how the fluid
craftsmanship can simulate soft hairs in solid bronze, and, if you look
at intently, transfixed by its splendour, it gives the appearance of
being about to move and speak. They say that no other statue was ever
made in the city with such care or expense. </span></blockquote><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A Very Long Practical Joke?<br /></span></h3><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">There is another bronze statue, a rather laughable one, which they call Priapus. He looks as though he is in severe pain, with his head bent down as if to remove from his foot a thorn that he had stepped on. If you lean forward and look up to see what he's doing, you discover genitals of extraordinary size. </span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Genitals of extraordinary size?<a href="https://princessbride.fandom.com/wiki/R.O.U.S."> I don't think they exist</a>. <br /><br />Just to confirm, in Latin. <br /></span><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Est etiam aliud eneum simulacrum ualde ridiculosum quod Priapum dicunt. Qui demisso capite uelud spinam calcatam educturus de pede, asperamlesionem pacientis speciem representat. Cui si demisso capite uelut quid agat exploraturus suspexeris, mire magnitudinis uirilia uidebis. <br /></span></blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">-<i>Magister Gregorius de Mirabilibus Urbis Romae: A New Description of Rome in the Twelfth Century</i>, G. McN. Rushforth, 1919 <br /></span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">The statue in question is the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boy_with_Thorn">Spinario</a>, which does not, as far as I can tell, have the... attribute described by Magister Gregorius. I've spent more time than I think is wise (i.e. any time at all) trying to find <a href="https://www.the-low-countries.com/uploads/_detail900/0_Spinaro_-_Palazzo_dei_Conservatori_Musei_Capitolini_1.jpeg">low-angle shots</a>. Perhaps it was <a href="https://youtu.be/ldUZvxjKMGs?t=79">very cold in 12th century England?</a> Perhaps there’s an angle where it looks bigger? Perhaps it's a little joke to mislead future statue-ogglers; a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rickrolling">rickroll</a>, but with one letter changed? "Ha ha, made you look?" <br /></span> <span style="font-family: arial;"><br />It's a pretty good joke, actually. Someone in the 12th century reads the manuscript, travels all the way to Rome, finds the statue, looks up at it, realizes the description is inaccurate, travels all the way back to England, and complains. "Why were you looking anyway, Stephanos?," comes the reply. "Eh? Eeeeh?" <br /><br /></span><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"> Additional Wonders</span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Gregorius then describes the Salvatio Romae and the Iron Statue of Belerophon, closely following the text of <i>De Septem Mundi Miraculis</i>. See the discussion of that text below. But the next wonder has a personal touch. <br /><br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Also much to be admired is the bath of Apollo Bianeus, which still exists in Rome. This bath was made with great skill in a bronze vat from a certain formula of sulphur, black salt, and tartar. When it had been prepared, Apollo Bianeus lit it with one consecrated candle, and it was thereafter kept hot by a continuous fire. I saw this bath myself and I dipped my hand into it, but although I had paid the fee I declined to bath because of the foul stench of the sulphur. </span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">"Apollo Bianeus" is a corruption of the reference text, scribal error, or just poor memory, as the refernce should be to <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollonius_of_Tyana">Apollonius of Tyana</a>. <br /><br /></span><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Digression: Apollonius of Tyana and<i> 7 Faces of Dr. Lao</i></span></h2><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/7_Faces_of_Dr._Lao"><i>7 Faces of Dr. Lao</i> (1964)</a> influenced early Dungeons and Dragons. According to <a href="http://lordofthegreendragons.blogspot.com/2009/03/movie-time-garys-house.html ">Rob Kuntz</a>, <br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">As a young chap I was part of the Gygax family, virtually adopted at one point, and always in attendance at their house on a daily basis. I ate, drank. and sometimes slept there, gamed (of course) helped with the garden, adopted their religion, and most definitely watched movies there! <br /><br />That I was influenced by EGG's tastes is to say the least. He would later comment upon several that held deep fascination for him and inspired him in writing many of D&D's spells, particularly, <i>7 Faces of Dr. Lao</i>; and of course, <i>The Raven</i>, a Roger Corman film. </span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;"><i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Raven_(1963_film)">The Raven</a></i> is not a great film by any means, but <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/7_Faces_of_Dr._Lao">7 Faces of Dr. Lao</a></i> is better than it has any right to be. I wouldn't say it's aged well, or that it's a brillaint film, but it has some redeeming qualities. It's gloomy, philosophical piece disguised as a special-effects heavy kids film. You don't get scenes like this in your standard Disney production:<br /><br /></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hta0ndC7Dqw" width="320" youtube-src-id="hta0ndC7Dqw"></iframe></span></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The character, by the way, doesn't get a redemption arc or change their ways. Apollonius of Tyre predicts the future.<br /><br />Judging by comments on youtube and elsewhere, the film was highly influential and memorable to young minds, for reasons they may not have understood at the time. The book is considerably weirder. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Anyway, back to the <i>Narracio</i>. <br /></span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Marble Statues</span></h3><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Now I shall turn my attention to the marble statues, almost all of which were destroyed or toppled by blessed Gregory. I shall begin with one in particular because of its exceptional beauty. <br /><br />[…] <br /><br /><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capitoline_Venus">The image</a> is made from Parian marble with such wonderful and intricate skill, that she seems more like a living creature than a statue; indeed she seems to blush in her nakedness, a reddish tinge colouring her face, and it appears to those who take a close look that blood flows in her snowy complexion. Because of this wonderful image, and perhaps some magic spell that I’m unaware of, I was drawn back three times to look at it despite the fact that it was two stades distant from my inn. </span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">I love Gregorius. In an endnote, Osborne speculates he also had tiny feet. I think he's just great.<br /></span><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Close by there are two marble horses of incredible size and skillful composition. It is said that they represent the first mathematicians, to whom horses were assigned because of the quickness of their intellects. </span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">These are the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horse_Tamers">Horse Tamers</a>, who get a much longer tale in the <i><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/07/mirabilia-urbis-romae-wonders-of-rome.html">Mirabila</a>.</i><br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">In this account of the city’s monuments, I mustn’t forget to mention the Palace of Diocletian, although words are not adequate to describe its vast size and most skillful and admirable construction. It’s so large in fact that I couldn’t get an accurate impression of the whole structure despite spending the best part of a day there. I discovered columns so large that no one can throw a pebble as high as their capitals, and the cardinals say that a hundred men could scarcely cut, polish, and finish one of these in the space of a year. I shan’t say any more about it, since if I tell you the truth you won’t believe me. </span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Gregorius 100% threw pebbles at these columns. You cannot convince me otherwise. <br /></span><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">But who really cares whether I describe at length all the palaces in the city of Rome, since I’m sure that no one could ever see them all? Therefore I shall skip the enormous structure which was the palace of Tiberius, and leave aside the palace of Nero, the wonderful building of the divine Nerva, and the palace of Octavian. I shall not even speak of the seven thrones, skillfully constructed at great height, about which, they say, Ovid wrote: <br /></span><blockquote><a href="https://ovid.lib.virginia.edu/trans/Metamorph2.htm#476707488" style="font-family: arial;">“The palace of the sun towered on lofty columns, made bright by gleaming gold and flame-like bronze.” </a></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Concerning the palace of the sixty emperors: Who could describe the palace of the sixty emperors? Although much of it has crumbled, they still say that all the Romans of this day and age couldn’t destroy what’s left. <br /><br />Now I shall add a few words about the pyramids, the tombs of the mighty, of enormous size and height, rising to a point in the manner of a cone. The first of these which I encountered was the tomb of Romulus, which stands by the castle of Cresentius near the church of St. Peter’s. The pilgrims erroneously claim that this is the grain heap of the apostle Peter, which was transformed into a stone hill of the same size when Nero confiscated it. It’s an utterly worthless tale, typical of those told by pilgrims. Hidden inside every pyramid is a marble sarcophagus, with carved reliefs on all sides, in which the body of the deceased was placed.</span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The pyramids in question are the <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meta_Romuli">Meta Romuli</a></i> and the <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyramid_of_Cestius ">Meta Remi</a><u>.</u></i> According to Osborne, this tale is not known from any other sources. <br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7Pggh6VbqHUbrAujDHwRSIlm7P6hX5s-Df0kBf12ThxFCRnIskvEN0YlUBeIhEY8tGjeVC-P4jGGj-4byYSwGPEmp7TtQtLl2TnSRzhsyCS5ySk8WbOLp5bVvoui5Br7rA5oJh3Z09uml9LQWar7NtxGF9OVAvAC0KBKh1wxP-NAfW6FbX9vm9aAZc0I/s6016/Base_of_the_Vatican_obelisk.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="6016" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7Pggh6VbqHUbrAujDHwRSIlm7P6hX5s-Df0kBf12ThxFCRnIskvEN0YlUBeIhEY8tGjeVC-P4jGGj-4byYSwGPEmp7TtQtLl2TnSRzhsyCS5ySk8WbOLp5bVvoui5Br7rA5oJh3Z09uml9LQWar7NtxGF9OVAvAC0KBKh1wxP-NAfW6FbX9vm9aAZc0I/w640-h426/Base_of_the_Vatican_obelisk.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Gregorius then relates some facts about Julius Caesar’s tomb / St. Peter's needle, now known better as the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Peter%27s_Square#Obelisk">Vatican Obelisk</a>.<br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">The pilgrims call this pyramid “St. Peter’s needle” and they make great efforts to crawl underneath it, where the stone rests on four bronze lions, claiming falsely that those who manage to do so are cleansed from their sins for having made a true penance. </span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Osborne relates that this is an “interesting insight into the mentality of the medieval pilgrim”. <br /><br />Looking at the Vatican Obelisk, it’s obviously supported by lions. But these are not the original lions. These are 16th century lions. <br /></span><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Gregory reports that the space between the obelisk and its base was created by four bronze lions. This is also curious, because the original bronze support pieces, or astragals, which are still in use today, are clearly not in the form of lions nor of any animal. The error is by no means unique to Gregory. It may be found in the writings of no less worthy an observer than Petrarch, who refers to the bronze lions in a letter written to cardinal Giovanmi Colonna in 1377, and two lions actually appear in <a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Saint_Peter%27s_stories_in_San_Piero_a_Grado#/media/File:Basilica_di_san_piero_a_grado,_storie_di_san_pietro,_san_paolo,_costantino_e_papa_silvestro_10.JPG">a thirteenth century mural illustrating the Crucifixtion of St. Peter in the Church of S. Piero a Grado (near Pisa).</a> <br /><br />-Osborne <br /></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The internet is amazing. It only took me a few minutes to find the mural. </span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">There can be no question of a switch having been made at some point between the fourteenth century and 1586, as this would have involved lifting the obelisk from its base. Moreover, the original curved astragals are shown in illustrations contained in the Modena and Princeton manuscripts of <a href="http://bibliodyssey.blogspot.com/2006_10_22_archive.html">Johannes Marcanova’s <i>Quaedam antiquitatum fragmenta</i> of 1465</a>, and again in a sixteenth-century drawing of the obelisk by Guiliano di Sangallo. <br /><br />-<i>The Marvels of Rome</i>, John Osborne, 1987.<br /></span></blockquote><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheDOXcIZI7RsbyCCmZTKVH91HKbkdHhHZz2nqG11HVm-S-OGvU-yt1Jmq2uspwayyI5d2AV2bre2agnwR_R6p_gmgxg0rY9pjylaKiRG8F24Mg9UN8neneOz6oQINqw_8rm7LdXuULV9ZY527awq1XyLVxyMkPhiXIzTZq3VAc7w8IGHZOkFI5K14Bf6w/s1024/Obelisk%20on%20sandbags.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="738" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheDOXcIZI7RsbyCCmZTKVH91HKbkdHhHZz2nqG11HVm-S-OGvU-yt1Jmq2uspwayyI5d2AV2bre2agnwR_R6p_gmgxg0rY9pjylaKiRG8F24Mg9UN8neneOz6oQINqw_8rm7LdXuULV9ZY527awq1XyLVxyMkPhiXIzTZq3VAc7w8IGHZOkFI5K14Bf6w/w462-h640/Obelisk%20on%20sandbags.jpg" width="462" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://bibliodyssey.blogspot.com/2006_10_22_archive.html" style="font-family: arial;">Johannes Marcanova</a></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><p></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">It is possible their shape suggested an animal foot to medieval observers, who were accustomed to the sight of lions supporting monuments and furnishings of all sorts, and that they simply assumed that the astragals were meant to represent lions. <br /><br />As the Vatican obelisk stands today, there are indeed four lions at the corners, concealing the original astragals which are still in place), but these were added in the time of Pope Sixtus V and are the work of the artist Prospero Bresciano. <br /><br />-<i>The Marvels of Rome</i>, John Osborne, 1987.</span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I vaguely recognized the name "Prospero Bresciano" as <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fontana_dell%27Acqua_Felice">“the sculptor who made a Moses so bad that he died"</a>, so I did some digging.</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlEiHAViLnBPMvatXlOWjAw5N-Q_2cgLru5pU_86Lpk5bYiGOtr7uPgWCsB9Uu7WqBD3KABoX2IACoLa4IXy4vghygRJzdCZZOLV9ZgM_XOvjZ5cq9-am1liCq_ZH5wBJbcldQdN8wBo6lXQL8jrn5BcwSxoCFwUOGoxHyhe_rpnvEbBNFgnSVsR_cnnI/s5511/fontana_dell27acqua_felice2c_statue_of_moses.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3994" data-original-width="5511" height="464" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlEiHAViLnBPMvatXlOWjAw5N-Q_2cgLru5pU_86Lpk5bYiGOtr7uPgWCsB9Uu7WqBD3KABoX2IACoLa4IXy4vghygRJzdCZZOLV9ZgM_XOvjZ5cq9-am1liCq_ZH5wBJbcldQdN8wBo6lXQL8jrn5BcwSxoCFwUOGoxHyhe_rpnvEbBNFgnSVsR_cnnI/w640-h464/fontana_dell27acqua_felice2c_statue_of_moses.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://romefountains2016.wordpress.com/2016/03/18/the-fountain-of-moses/ " style="font-family: arial;">The Fountain of Moses</a><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />But looking into the story, I was surprised to learn that it’s an “utterly worthless tale”. While it’s true that the statue was widely criticized after its unveiling, and over the intervening centuries, it did not lead to the poetic death of the sculptor from a broken heart. I was duped by the tales of credulous guides and pilgrims, just like Gregorius!<br /></span><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">However appealing this story is, it simply is not true. In early 1591, almost two and one-half years after the final payment for the Moses, Bresciano was still very much alive, collaborating with Pietro Bordone on a copper angel and the stemma (coat of arms) of Gregory XIV for the Castel Sant'Angelo.124 He was still alive in August 1591, when he modeled the figures of the Virtues for the catafalque of Sixtus V erected in S. Maria Maggiore. Five months after the catafalque was erected, in January 1592, Bresciano filed a legal suit against Orlando Landi, his procurer of materials, for stealing <a href="https://grammarist.com/idiom/whole-ball-of-wax/">a large quantity of wax</a> from his home. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-<a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/25067245">Steven F. Ostrow, <i>The Discourse of Failure in Seventeenth-Century Rome: Prospero Bresciano's "Moses"</i></a></span></p></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Which is charmingly mundane. Back to the Narracio (again). </span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Historically Accurate Giant Crabs</span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Osborne proposes that the lions of the obelisk suggested, to the mind of Gregory, the crabs supporting the lighthouse of Alexandria. Gregory uses “cancros / cancri”, and Osborne chose to translate this literally, as “crabs”, rather than architecturally, as “arches”. It’s possible that Gregory used the “crab” as architectural jargon, understood to him and to his colleagues. It’s also possible he envisioned giant crabs supporting the structure, as lions support the obelisk. <br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Another great wonder is the Alexandrian lighthouse, which stands in the sea on four crabs made of glass. One wonders how such enormous crabs could have been manufactured of glass, how they could be placed in the sea without being broken, and how the cement foundations supported by the crabs could survive underwater. It is also puzzling how the cement hardened underwater, why the crabs are not broken in the sea, and why the foundation doesn’t slip under the great weight of cement. Isidore describes a type of sand which had this property: if it is mixed with water, subjected to sun or to fire, reduced to its original sandy state, and then plunged into water, it solidifies and turns to stone. But it’s not my task to explain miracles. </span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">This sort of thing could easily confuse later illustrators. <br /></span><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGOI06GpAY4hxVUwKn4iV3QXzhl14oGi-ZFYtr7htOnq_tuZcLrpWq9dW-sNLaD_oomXDG-5gFqPXFdzJojeQAIkiUwzsyh26cVq3yhJeNXFmZHuQZqSndL6G1JRPVc_ReBW66lNw4W7SgEs0iRaqDtdp1Pxb3ffG26hSDTgGsxswfexu6_yruj60htw0/s1960/D9wVQdYXYAAgOUD.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1960" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGOI06GpAY4hxVUwKn4iV3QXzhl14oGi-ZFYtr7htOnq_tuZcLrpWq9dW-sNLaD_oomXDG-5gFqPXFdzJojeQAIkiUwzsyh26cVq3yhJeNXFmZHuQZqSndL6G1JRPVc_ReBW66lNw4W7SgEs0iRaqDtdp1Pxb3ffG26hSDTgGsxswfexu6_yruj60htw0/w502-h640/D9wVQdYXYAAgOUD.jpg" width="502" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Death of Handwriting</span></h3><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">In front of [the statue] there is a bronze tablet, which is called the tablet “prohibiting sin”, on which are written the principal statutes of the law. On this tablet I read much, but understood little, for they were aphorisms, and the reader has to supply most of the words. </span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Osborne explains:<br /></span><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">It seems strange to us in the twentieth century that these elegant capital letters can have posed any difficulty to a medieval viewer, but such was evidently indeed the case. An interesting parallel is provided by <a href="https://www.leidenspecialcollectionsblog.nl/articles/the-leiden-aratea ">a Carolingian <i>Aratea </i>manuscript (Leiden, University Library, Cod. lat. Voss. 79)</a>, where the rustic capitals of the ninth century were transliterated into readable script by a thirteenth-century scribe. Erwin Panofsky, noting this odd occurrence, suggests that it can only have been done “because he evidently thought that the Carolingian ‘Rustic Capital’ would stump his contemporaries, as well as future generations.” One can also compare the comment of the fourteenth-century humanist physician, Giovanni Dondi, on the inscription carved on the Arch of Constantine; “<i>multe litere sculpte, sed difficiliter leguntur.</i>” <br /></span></blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">-<i>The Marvels of Rome</i>, John Osborne, 1987.</span></blockquote> <p style="text-align: left;"></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKUkI7UFRXOD_jnePF2EOwQt5s3RY2OhGnBYJ3iLYyLhr0OLqP7F7oaf34tPQjmlQJxegLn2kPtEy_L4qWWk8XDjWXXLIdC64HIFTl0cK4U1AFUSJMIq9VCNh46xP9EM2AikqHfnrgBJioy_YpJZ9_W4PxHZS4U-_Q57Ze-J4OrGGN6NtnKY4-TZd6UDE/s8559/Maerten_van_Heemskerck_-_Panorama_with_the_Abduction_of_Helen_Amidst_the_Wonders_of_the_Ancient_World_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3135" data-original-width="8559" height="234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKUkI7UFRXOD_jnePF2EOwQt5s3RY2OhGnBYJ3iLYyLhr0OLqP7F7oaf34tPQjmlQJxegLn2kPtEy_L4qWWk8XDjWXXLIdC64HIFTl0cK4U1AFUSJMIq9VCNh46xP9EM2AikqHfnrgBJioy_YpJZ9_W4PxHZS4U-_Q57Ze-J4OrGGN6NtnKY4-TZd6UDE/w640-h234/Maerten_van_Heemskerck_-_Panorama_with_the_Abduction_of_Helen_Amidst_the_Wonders_of_the_Ancient_World_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://artsandculture.google.com/asset/panorama-with-the-abduction-of-helen-amidst-the-wonders-of-the-ancient-world/GAH7fweqSmKL4w" style="font-family: arial;">Martin
van Heemskerck</a></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Some interesting light has been shed on Gregory’s use of this medieval
account of the seven wonders of the world as a result of Margarete
Demus-Quatember’s recent study of a sixteenth century painting by Martin
van Heemskerck. The work in question, now in the collection of the
Walters Art Gallery in Baltimore, consists principally of a fantastic
view of the city of Rome, in which a number of these seven wonders can
be identified. Since it seems unlikely that Heemskerck can have based
his painting on Gregory’s Narracio, it would appear that there must have
existed a version of the <i>De septem miraculus mundi</i> in which the wonders
were associated with the city of Rome. If such a version did exist, and
it is otherwise rather difficult to account for the Baltimore
painting), and if Gregory knew it, then his inclusion in the Narracio of
six of the seven wonders is more readily explained.</span></blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">-<i>The Marvels of Rome</i>, John Osborne, 1987. <br /></span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">I’d like to
read the citation (<a href="https://www.oehirom.it/rhm/rhm-21-30/rhm-25-1983">Margarete Demus-Quatember, Ricordo di Roma. <i>Mirabilia urbis Romae und Miracula mundi auf einem Gemälde von Martin van Heemskerck</i> … 203-223</a>). Unfortunately, it’s paywalled. But the painting is worth examining. It's a mishmash of wonders, artifacts, and characters. It's the <i>Narracio </i>in a nutshell. It's a mytho-historical <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Where%27s_Wally%3F"><i>Where's Wally?</i></a><br /><br /></span><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Of the Seven Wonders of the World from The Complete Works of the Venerable Bede, trans. Rev. J.A. Giles </span></h2><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://oll.libertyfund.org/title/giles-the-complete-works-of-venerable-bede-vol-4-historical-tracts-english-and-latin">This text is in the public domain.</a> As one of Gregorius' main sources, it's worth quoting in full.<br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />The first of the seven wonders of the world, made by the hand of man, is the Capitol at Rome, the very salvation of the inhabitants, and greater than a whole city. In it were statues of the nations subdued by the Romans, or images of their gods, and on the breasts of the statues were inscribed the names of the nations which had been conquered, with bells hanging from their necks. Priests or watchmen attended on these by turns, day and night, and showed much care in watching them. If either of them should move, the bell made a noise, and so they knew what nation was rebelling against the Romans. When they knew this, they communicated the information by word of mouth or by writing to the Roman princes, that they might know against what nation they were next to turn the Roman arms. <br /><br />The second is the Light-house of Alexandria, which was founded on four glass arches, twenty paces deep beneath the sea. The wonder is, how such large arches could be made, or how they could be conveyed without breaking; how the foundations, which are cemented together above, could adhere to them, or how the cement could stand firm under the water; and why the arches are not broken, and why the foundations cast in above do not slip off. <br /><br />The third is the figure of the Colossus in the island of Rhodes, a hundred and thirty-six feet long, and cast of melted metal. The wonder is how such an immense mass could be cast, or how it could be set up and not fall. <br /><br />The fourth wonder is the iron figure of Bellerophon on horseback, which hangs suspended in the air over the city, and has neither chains nor any thing else to support it; but great magnetic stones are placed in vaults, and so it is retained in assumption (position), and remains in balanced measure. Now the calculation of its weight is about five thousand pounds of iron. <br /><br />The fifth wonder is the Theatre of Heraclea, carved out of one piece of marble, so that all the cells and rooms of the wall, and the dens of the beasts, are made out of one solid stone. It is supported on four arches carved out of the same stone; and no one can whisper in the whole circle so low, either to himself or to another, without being heard by every one who is in the circle of the building. <br /><br />The sixth wonder is the Bath, which is such, that when Apollotaneus has lighted it with one candle of consecration, it keeps the hot baths continually burning without being attended to. <br /><br />The seventh wonder is the Temple of Diana, on four pillars. Its first foundations are arched drains; then it increases gradually, upper stones being placed on the former arches. Thus: upon these four are placed eight pillars and eight arches; then in the third row it increases in a like proportion, and stones still higher are placed thereon. On the eight are placed sixteen, and on the sixteen thirty-two; the fourth row of stones is on the fifth row of arches, and sixty-four pillars complete the plan of this remarkable building. </span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">It must have been a thrill for Gregorius to see one of these wonders firsthand.</span><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-28827493921934649222023-07-07T11:21:00.003-06:002023-07-08T18:28:03.593-06:00 40k: HamWarmer 24.5 - Imperial Guard<p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2020/11/40k-towards-better-rules-hamwarmer-245.html">HamWarmer 24.5</a> is my cobbled-together 40k homebrew. Here's the Imperial Guard faction.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyfi0l0KA7wZgRVUO-SSE5cam-VGqhaXxXGfmcukdlKatq_7VarQI4hA2FDP_KkMM-uKjpOdjJfcfG67Ebu0FWL0SZeCw_xHAurKI3h16JqnvaJchuHxmwkChsHdHYdWL01GsJX0qMnsbGYHQgt7x-cPRTiqlEpNApOQM7aavWii_47c7QD8hsnrykVms/s1500/imperials.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1011" data-original-width="1500" height="432" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyfi0l0KA7wZgRVUO-SSE5cam-VGqhaXxXGfmcukdlKatq_7VarQI4hA2FDP_KkMM-uKjpOdjJfcfG67Ebu0FWL0SZeCw_xHAurKI3h16JqnvaJchuHxmwkChsHdHYdWL01GsJX0qMnsbGYHQgt7x-cPRTiqlEpNApOQM7aavWii_47c7QD8hsnrykVms/w640-h432/imperials.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><h2 style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1tLR1m92QmjxLTev0OgqRuX44MpNtBBmb/view?usp=sharing" style="font-family: arial;">Imperial Guard PDF v 0.1</a></h2><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">After 5th edition, every official Imperial Guard rulesset included some type of Orders system, where, on a squad or army level, a player selects an Order each turn that grants units a situational bonus. This design choice was never really appealed. It adds a new subsystem (something HamWarmer 24.5 tries to avoid), it requires balancing (ditto), and there's usually one optimal choice in any given scenario.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">These rules rely on simple mechanical benefits granted by the core rules. Instead of a complicated faction-only leadership system, the Imperial Guard use the standard Morale rules, modified slightly by vox casters. Vehicle facing and screening is critical. </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv_vHhLcC2RKDaw1T6rrZfj4NFVPQqqGUb9v9dJzMA0ue57UqReQPz8lIHnfhIwfy3SayxlS-MUXVimypUfiHShHmwv9nHImT1DoZkvkyeFIO198VHJLEmaB1niZQD9AUXUM-_Lk7m8QbqT6nmLOigLp0n7kxjI9889VanbIDazjNB-aDKO4Xp6GMivds/s800/18828_md-WD187REVIEW34.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="346" data-original-width="800" height="276" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv_vHhLcC2RKDaw1T6rrZfj4NFVPQqqGUb9v9dJzMA0ue57UqReQPz8lIHnfhIwfy3SayxlS-MUXVimypUfiHShHmwv9nHImT1DoZkvkyeFIO198VHJLEmaB1niZQD9AUXUM-_Lk7m8QbqT6nmLOigLp0n7kxjI9889VanbIDazjNB-aDKO4Xp6GMivds/w640-h276/18828_md-WD187REVIEW34.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In other 40k news, here are a few recent conversions from the Leviathan boxed set.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPU8NAQRdmP4_LfQdTiyVa3Xz01vLKsNIKZg6H93LcoTicQZq8Bp8LrjAqqlLvUfjS7nwx6nhRsTLCwfNYml5SqFB6FqdCD7eVO3a5aXuP4cl3G7rG_GyS7DNTdTD2Z0aL5LB5r0H6xgtaD8gS6NsFjmBv0uxWN25z5F9mHcrIwvI8wpDR9AoF7s0vQ_E/s2356/Neurotyrant%20Scale.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2356" data-original-width="2280" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPU8NAQRdmP4_LfQdTiyVa3Xz01vLKsNIKZg6H93LcoTicQZq8Bp8LrjAqqlLvUfjS7nwx6nhRsTLCwfNYml5SqFB6FqdCD7eVO3a5aXuP4cl3G7rG_GyS7DNTdTD2Z0aL5LB5r0H6xgtaD8gS6NsFjmBv0uxWN25z5F9mHcrIwvI8wpDR9AoF7s0vQ_E/w621-h640/Neurotyrant%20Scale.JPG" width="621" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A neurotyrant with a helmet. Always remember to wear your helmet.<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiPidv5vwC4fyibTPaneKMgXW3VQaPTdETOS9KGlIf_cSQYosZ2VPQJ6DfkY3RfeFyJryY_c2qL78jaJUyQXbX20MrgX18TU8VIHi1Q86cMrMKoYh-6cUW1eDAeVOQVPxV4VTblbFER2ZLYlnDuXMMc2Nti817nUOynRbGBZ0rR9Qggg_q4ESdDdspsPg/s1684/Screamer-Killer.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1292" data-original-width="1684" height="492" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiPidv5vwC4fyibTPaneKMgXW3VQaPTdETOS9KGlIf_cSQYosZ2VPQJ6DfkY3RfeFyJryY_c2qL78jaJUyQXbX20MrgX18TU8VIHi1Q86cMrMKoYh-6cUW1eDAeVOQVPxV4VTblbFER2ZLYlnDuXMMc2Nti817nUOynRbGBZ0rR9Qggg_q4ESdDdspsPg/w640-h492/Screamer-Killer.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A Screamer-Killer with a reposed neck and no eyes. All non-syapse creatures in my <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/01/40k-tyranid-swarm-completed.html">Tyranid swarm</a> are eyeless.<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsNFwGv3T5p-t3_ZPNu0A9Y8UGek3wiByJD-RTR_ZmW6Vd24KUk1ybUvT-l6tStsGLKlSAiRRWMdLOvyWNH82qnXxN9nrzgSl4SvK4fMBAEsBF32JGIs9wIaqnlZZk7dHFE4LVS15TnuBJqpUN14Uzk3E29ihInsKgsie4zE4jN9WApaWscUXygzbda_c/s2796/Winged%20Tyranid%20Prime.JPG" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1892" data-original-width="2796" height="434" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsNFwGv3T5p-t3_ZPNu0A9Y8UGek3wiByJD-RTR_ZmW6Vd24KUk1ybUvT-l6tStsGLKlSAiRRWMdLOvyWNH82qnXxN9nrzgSl4SvK4fMBAEsBF32JGIs9wIaqnlZZk7dHFE4LVS15TnuBJqpUN14Uzk3E29ihInsKgsie4zE4jN9WApaWscUXygzbda_c/w640-h434/Winged%20Tyranid%20Prime.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A winged Tyranid Prime converted to match my other winged Tyranid Warriors with their old Forgeworld wings. I swapped the order of wings and talons and replaced the feet with Genestealer claws. <br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><p></p>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-85107679618100757982023-07-05T12:31:00.004-06:002023-07-05T12:37:08.000-06:00Mirabilia Urbis Romae - The Wonders of Rome<p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">While tracking down a quotation for a post on <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virgil#Middle_Ages">Virgil's reputation as a sorcerer</a>, I fell down a footnote rabbithole.<br /></span></p><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"> From Italy generally, Higden proceeds to a description of Rome in particular, which is made up of a strange assemblage of absurdities. A large part of these are derived from a small tract, whose author is generally considered to be unknown, though styled by Higden Magister Gregorius. Its title is <i>Mirabilia Urbis Romae</i>, and so popular did it become, that it went through more than 30 editions in the fifteenth century, apart from the translations into German and into Italian which were printed in the same period. Other marvels are transcribed from the <i>Polycraticon </i>of John of Salisbury. <br /><br />The reader who has any taste for the investigation of such matters, may consult the recent work of Dr. Gregorovius<u>,</u><i> Geschichte der Stadt Rom im Mittelalter </i>(of which the first volume appeared at Stuttgard in 1859), in which the medieval legends are recounted with a patience and diligence rarely to be found except in a German. Willingly passing over these, I have only further to observe that Higden... <br /><br />-Introduction to the <i>Polychronicon </i>of Ranulph Higden, Churchill Babington, 1865, <a href="https://archive.org/details/polychroniconra00lumbgoog/page/n36/mode/2up">pg. xxx</a>.</span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">After chuckling at the scorn of 19th century academics, I immediately* realized that Babington had confused two similar texts. The first text,<i> <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_mirabilibus_urbis_Romae">De Mirabilibus Urbis Romae</a></i> of Magister Gregorius, is a source Higden's used extensively for his <i>Polychronicon</i>, but was never popular or widely translated. The full text was rediscovered in 1917, and will be featured in a future post. For clarity, I'm going to refer to it by the title the translator John Osborne uses, <i>Narracio de Mirabilibus Urbis Romae</i>.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">*well, after a few hours of confusion. </span><br /><br />The second text, the anonymous<i> <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirabilia_Urbis_Romae ">Mirabilia Urbis Romae</a></i>, was widely translated and very popular.<br /></span><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">In this curious composition, written by an unknown scholar, concerning The wonders of the City of Rome, Roman archaeology, which has now attained such appalling proportions, puts forth its earliest shoots in a naive and barbarous form and in a Latin as ruinous as its subject. The good sense and absurdity, the accurate knowledge and pardonable mistakes therein mingled, are not wholly put to shame by the pretentious learning of later and present-day archaeologists, whose opinions, if united, would reduce Rome to a labyrinth utterly offensive to the historian. <br /><br />-Ferdinand Gregorovius, <i>History of the City of Rome in the Middle Ages</i>, 1859, trans. Annie Hamilton, <a href=" https://archive.org/details/p2historyofcityo04greguoft/page/654/mode/2up">Vol. 4, Book VIII, Ch. VII</a>.</span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">This is the sort of massy ore I am smelting to forge my<a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/search/label/Iron%20Gates"> Iron Gates</a> setting. </span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio9Wp9Ij8lTxKuNzSf2GDMFusDeh-hl6E8qCzBBrAi6H-qMVzB6Y7AiDexxG-D6jxqWsvHjzC7RMdbzQKNz-4Fw3oIawP5ZRvMmpd3JoOrUkOV8j38qCfqotxjRm4wnPY66mmsDyphETwBFU4fGWDA1p51f89FeN2v3egta9Ey5UWm-CjzSBz3yJ-JHPE/s3356/1520205788053.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2461" data-original-width="3356" height="470" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio9Wp9Ij8lTxKuNzSf2GDMFusDeh-hl6E8qCzBBrAi6H-qMVzB6Y7AiDexxG-D6jxqWsvHjzC7RMdbzQKNz-4Fw3oIawP5ZRvMmpd3JoOrUkOV8j38qCfqotxjRm4wnPY66mmsDyphETwBFU4fGWDA1p51f89FeN2v3egta9Ey5UWm-CjzSBz3yJ-JHPE/w640-h470/1520205788053.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Unfortunately, Francis Morgan Nichols' <a href="https://archive.org/details/marvelsromeorap00nichgoog/page/n8/mode/2up">1889 translation</a> of the <i>Mirabilia Urbis Romae</i> has a few issues. It's pointlessly stylized and uses the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long_s">long s</a>, which can ſuck right off. It's <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1889">1889!</a> You should have known better! You didn't use it in your 1877 book<i> The Roman Forum: a Topographical Study</i>. It's not even a manuscript convention; you used it in the introduciton and the footnotes too! <br /><br />There's a <a href="http://www.italicapress.com/index065.html">1986 reissue</a> of the text with modern typesetting and better maps. Unfortunately, it does not include any of Nichol's useful footnotes, and it makes several significant and vexing errors in transcription and modernization. I started using it, gave up, and decided to manually modernize the interesting parts of Nichols' original public domain text. Different manuscripts are noted by square brackets. Please refer back to the <a href="https://archive.org/details/marvelsromeorap00nichgoog/page/n8/mode/2up">original text</a> for academic purposes. <br /></span></p><h2 class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Marvels of Rome<br />or<br />A Picture of the Golden City<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span></h2><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Part I. Of the Foundation of Rome, and her chief places.<br /></span></h2><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">1. Of the Foundation of the City of Rome </span></h3><span style="font-family: arial;">After the Sons of Noah built the <a href="https://isthatinthebible.wordpress.com/2015/04/04/the-tower-of-babel-did-it-exist-and-what-does-the-story-mean/">Tower of Confusion</a>, Noah with his sons entered into a ship, as Hescodius [1] writes, and came to Italy. Not far from the place where Rome is now he founded a city of his own name where he brought his travail and his life to an end. Then his son <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Janus">Janus</a>,[2] with Janus his son, [3] Japhet [4] his grandson, and Camese [5], a man of the country, built a city, Janiculum in the Palatine mountain [6], and succeeded to the kingdom. When Camese had gone the way of all flesh, kingdom passed to Janus alone. He, with the aforesaid Camese, built a palace in <i>Transtiberim</i> (<i>Trastevere</i>), which he called Janiculum, where the Church of Saint John at Janiculum now stands. But he had the seat of his kingdom in the palace that he built in the mountain Palatine, where all the Emperors and Caesars of later times gloriously dwelt. <br /></span><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">[1] The 1989 reissue has "Hescondius" not the correct "Hescodius". That's not a good sign, and it made tracking down the identity of this source more difficult than it needed to be. C.J. Verduin has an excellent writeup on the potential source <a href="https://web.universiteitleiden.nl/fsw/verduin/jonitus/jonitus.htm#VI3.">here</a>. Did Hescodius exist, or was he a convenient vaguely historical figure (like Josephus in <i><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/06/osr-perlesvaus-and-iron-gates.html">Perlesvaus</a></i>) that the author of <i>Mirabilia Urbis Romae</i> borrowed to lend an air of plausibility to his collected tales? I secretly suspect he's a Greek philosopher of the same school as Hypocrisies and Appendices, but who knows. <br /><br />[2] <a href="https://mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt0110.htm#2">Genesis 10</a> is very clear that Noah's three sons are Shem, Ham, and Japeth (or Shem, Ham, and Green Eggs if you want to fail your theology exam). Janus is not mentioned. <br /><br />[3] Janus' son, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Au1He0_eCkw">also named Janus</a>, is also not mentioned in Genesis. <br /><br />[4] Japhet is Noah's son, not his grandson or great grandson, but that's OK. <br /><br />[5] <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Janus#Myths">Camese</a> also invented the loose flowing shirt that bears his name. <br /><br />[6] I'm not sure if "mountain" instead of the more traditional "hill" is Nichols' choice or the intention of the original author. Either way, it's better for RPG purposes. The palaces are <i>in </i>the mountain (in Nichols' version), not on it.</span></blockquote></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Moreover at that time <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nimrod">Nembroth</a>, who is the same as <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturn_(mythology)">Saturnus</a> that was shamefully treated by his son <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jupiter_(mythology)">Jupiter</a>, came to the realm of Janus and, with his aid, founded a city in the Capitol, which he called Saturnia after himself. [7] In those days king Italus with the Syracusans, coming to Janus and Saturnus, built a city by the river Albula, and named it after himself, and they named the river Albula the Tiber, after the likeness of the dyke of Syracuse.[8] After this, Hercules came to the realm of Janus with the Argives, as Varro tells, and made a city called Valentia under the Capitol. And afterwards, Tibris, king of the Aborigines, came with his nation and built a city by the Tiber, where he was slain by Italus in a fight. And Evander, king of Arcady, with his men made a city in the Palatine mountain. Likewise Corbias, with a host of Sicanians, built a city nearby in the valley. And Glaucus, the younger son of Jupiter, came with his men, raised a city, and built walls. After him Roma, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aeneas">Aeneas</a>' daughter, with a multitude of Trojans, built a city in the palace of the town. Aventinus Silvius, king of the Albans, raised a palace and mausoleum in the mountain Aventinus. <br /><br />Four hundred and thirty-three years after the destruction of the town of Troy,<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romulus"> Romulus</a> was born of the blood of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priam">Priam</a>, king of the Trojans. When he was twenty-second years old, in the fifteenth day of the Calends of May, he encompassed all these cities with a wall, and he called the city Rome after himself. And in her Etrurians, Sabines, Albans, Tusculans, Politanes, Telenes, Ficanians, Janiculans, Camerians, Capentates, Faliscans, Lucanians, Italians, and all the noble folk of the whole earth, with their wives and children, came there to dwell. <br /></span><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">[7] The appearance of Saturn and Jupiter as historical figures might be a bit confusing. Christian luminaries suggested that the pagan gods were merely elevated humans, whose myths grew larger over the years. Ambiguous figures like the Dioscuri and Hercules probably helped. Combining Saturn and <a href="https://isthatinthebible.wordpress.com/2021/10/13/nimrod-and-other-legendary-city-founders/">Nimrod</a> into one figure is a novel choice. It's origin stories all the way down.<br /></span></blockquote><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">[8] I'm not sure if this is a reference I should know automatically, or if it's something the author invented on the spot. I know of the famous dykes of Semiramis mentioned in Herodotus (<a href="http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.01.0126%3Abook%3D1%3Achapter%3D184">1.184</a>), but not the dyke of Syracuse.<br /></span></blockquote></blockquote><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">2. Of the Town Wall </span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The wall of the city of Rome has three hundred and sixty one towers, forty-nine castles, seven chief arches, six thousand nine hundred battlements, twelve gates, and five posterns. The compass of the walls is twenty two miles without including the <i>Transtiberim </i>and the Leonine City [Saint Peter's Porch].</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7jJz6gLRqlwjUqWIT7UyL3Hw3ZIDy-NR_B4rnvK5velhf8ZBRygYJaAzXgr8Pp5h-nuvBs3TbW1L2MlUxBtWpSMq964r8VtjSVdhJV9CXI99hpLqB_-iT6aRD0Q1pskR4V6B3gsMv3S7kEaVK-jZSICC60hyFWnLaHNK63XOAAEbNkfRIDJxalfhiJJ0/s1648/c42862d0-0d1d-474a-8556-fcc2c517126a_2070.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1073" data-original-width="1648" height="416" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7jJz6gLRqlwjUqWIT7UyL3Hw3ZIDy-NR_B4rnvK5velhf8ZBRygYJaAzXgr8Pp5h-nuvBs3TbW1L2MlUxBtWpSMq964r8VtjSVdhJV9CXI99hpLqB_-iT6aRD0Q1pskR4V6B3gsMv3S7kEaVK-jZSICC60hyFWnLaHNK63XOAAEbNkfRIDJxalfhiJJ0/w640-h416/c42862d0-0d1d-474a-8556-fcc2c517126a_2070.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div class="o-object-profile--portrait__object-number"><a href="https://www.getty.edu/art/collection/object/103S2K" style="font-family: arial;"> Ms. Ludwig III 1 (83.MC.72), fol. 1 </a></div></td></tr></tbody></table><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">3. Of the Gates</span></h3><span style="font-family: arial;">The gates of the famous city are these: <br /></span><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Porta Capena</i>, called Saint Paul’s Gate, by the Temple of Remus. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Porta Appia</i> [where is the church that is named <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Maria_in_Palmis"><i>Domine quo vadis</i></a>, where are seen the footsteps of Jesus Christ]. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Porta Latina </i>[because the Latins and Apulians used it]. There is the vessel that was filled with boiling oil and in which the blessed <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_the_Evangelist">John the Evangelist</a> was set. [8] </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Porta Metrovia</i>. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Porta Asinaria</i>, called the Lateran Gate. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Porta Lavicana</i>, called the Greater.</span></li><li> <span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Porta Taurina</i>, called Saint Laurence’s Gate, or the gate of Tivoli, [and it is called Taurina, or the Bull Gate, because there are two heads of bulls carved on it, on lean and the other fat. The lean head is without signifies that those of slender substance come into the city, while the fat and full head within signifies that they go forth rich]. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Porta Numentana</i> [that leads to the city of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mentana">Nomentum</a>]. [9] </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Porta Salaria</i>, [which has two Ways: the old Salarian way that leads to the Milvian Bridge, and the new way that goes to the Salarian Bridge]. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Porta Pinciana</i>, [because king Pincius had palace there]. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Porta Flaminia</i> [called Saint Valentine’s]. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Porta Collina</i>, at [the castle that is by Saint Peter’s bridge, which is called the emperor] Hadrian’s castle, [who made Saint Peter’s bridge]. </span></li></ul><span style="font-family: arial;">Beyond the Tiber there are three gates: <br /></span><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Porta Septimiana</i>, seven Naiads joined with Janus. [10] </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Porta Aurelia</i> or <i>aurea</i>, the Golden, [which is now called Saint Pancras’ Gate.]</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Porta Portuensis</i>. </span></li></ul><span style="font-family: arial;">[There are two gates in Saint Peter’s Porch; the Gate of the Castle of the Holy Angel and the <i>Porta Virdaria</i>, the gate at the Garden]. <br /></span><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">[8] See the illustration above. <br /><br />[9] The gate to Nomentum is described by the equation p=mv, porta equals [holy] mass [in the] Vatican. <br /><br />[10] Nichols adds “<i>Septem Naiades iunctae Iano</i>. These words, which were suggested by Ovid (<a href="https://ovid.lib.virginia.edu/trans/Metamorph14.htm#487618621">Metam. xiv. 785</a>), appear to be introduced to supply an etymology for the name <i>Septimiana</i>. The later copies substitute the words <i>ubi septem laudes fureunt factae Octavino.</i>"</span></blockquote></blockquote><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">4. Of Triumphal Arches </span></h3><span style="font-family: arial;">The Triumphal Arches are the following [which were made for an Emperor returning from a triumph, and where they were lead with worship by the senators, and his victory was graven thereon for a remembrance to posterity]. </span><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Alexander’s Golden Arch at Saint Celsus. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The arch of the Emperors Theodosius, Valentinian, and Gratian at Saint Ursus. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The triumphal arch [of marble that the Senate decreed be adorned with trophies in honour of Drusus, father of Claudius Caesar, on account of his victories in the Rhaetic and German wars, where the vestiges barely remain] outside the Appian Gate at the temple of Mars. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The arch of Titus and Vespasian in the Circus. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The arch of Constantine by the Ampitheatre. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The arch of the Seven Lamps of Titus and Vespasian [<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arch_of_Titus#/media/File:The_Arch_of_Titus,_Upper_Via_Sacra,_Rome_(31862188061).jpg">where Moses’ candlestick with seven branches, with the Ark, at the foot of the Cartulary Tower</a>] at New Saint Mary’s between the Greater Palace and the Temple of Romulus. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The arch of Julius Caesar and the Senators between the Aedes Concordiae and the Fatal Temple, [11] [before Saint Martina, where now stands the Breeches Towers]. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The triumphal arch of Octavian, near Saint Laurence in Lucina. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Antoninus’ arch, near his pillar [where now stands the tower of the Tofetti].</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">There is an arch at Saint Mark's that is called the Hand of Flesh, for once, in this city of Rome, Lucy, a holy matron, was tormented for the faith of Christ by the emperor Diocletian. He commanded that she should be laid down and beaten to death. And behold! He that smote her was made stone, but his hand remained flesh, unto the seventh day, which is why the name of that place is called Hand of Flesh to this day. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The <a href="https://www.hisour.com/main-staircase-palazzo-dei-conservatori-capitoline-museums-55886/">Arch of Gold Bread</a> is in the Capitol, [12] [and in the Aventine the arch of Faustinus is near to Saint Sabina].</span></li></ul><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">[11] “The Fatal Temple” = the Temple of the Three Fates. A useful bit of wordplay to inflict on your players. <br /><br />[12] Nichols adds “<i>Arcus panis aurei.</i> The Graphia has <i>arcus aureus</i>.” Mmm…delicious <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pandoro">pandoro</a>… </span></blockquote></blockquote><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">There are also other arches, which are not triumphal but memorial arches, as is the arch of Piety before <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Maria_in_Aquiro">Round Saint Mary’s</a>. [13] Once upon a time, when an emperor was ready in his chariot to go forth to war, a poor widow fell at his feet, weeping and crying, “Oh my lord, let me have justice before you go.” And he promised her that on his return he would hear her suit, but she said, “Perhaps you will die first.” Considering this,[14] the emperor leapt from his chariot and held court on the spot. <br /><br />The woman said, “I had only one son, and a young man has slain him.” The emperor pronounced sentence. “The murderer,” said he, “shall die. He shall not live." </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“Then your son,” the woman said, “shall die, for it is he that playing with my son has slain him.” But when the emperor’s son was lead to death, the woman sighed aloud and said, “Let the young man that is to die be given to me in place of my son, so I shall be recompensed, else I shall never confess that I have had justice.” This was done, and the woman departed with rich gifts from the emperor. [15] <br /></span></p><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">[13] See the carol <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_Night">Silent Night</a>. </i>“Silent night. Holy night. / All is calm, all is bright. / Round yon virgin mother and child...” <br /><br />[14] And being genre aware. <br /><br />[15] Nichols adds, “The legend of the Justice of Trajan, and of St. Gregory being moved by the sculpture to obtain the admission of the heathen emperor into Paradise, is as old as the eighth century.” This version adds several details. See also Dante, <a href="https://www.poetryintranslation.com/PITBR/Italian/DantPurg8to14.php#anchor_Toc64099584"><i>Purgatorio </i>X.73</a>.</span></blockquote></blockquote><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 12pt;">5</span><span style="font-family: arial;">. Of the Hills</span></h3><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The hills within the city are these. <br /></span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Janiculus [that is commonly called Janarian, where the church of Saint Sabba is]. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Aventine, that is also called Quirinal [because the Quirites were there, where the church of Saint Alexius is]. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Caelian [where the church of Saint Stephen <i>in monte Caelio</i> is]. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Capitol [or Tarpeian hill, where the Senator’s palace is].[16] </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Pallanteum [where the Greater Palace is]. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Exquiline [that is above the others, where the basilica of Saint Mary the Greater is]. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Viminal [where Saint Agatha’s church is, and where Virgil, being taken by the Romans, escaped invisibly and went to Naples, hence the phrase <i>vado ad Napulim</i>. [17] </span></li></ul><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">[16] The palace of the restored Senate of 1143. <br /><br />[17] This series of posts started because I needed to track down a footnote for a post on Virgil and sorcery. Beware the footnotes! Bewaaaare! </span></blockquote></blockquote><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">6. Of <i>Thermae</i></span></h3><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">[There are great palaces called <i>thermae</i>, with great crypts underground. In the winter, a fire was kindled throughout, and in summer they were filled with fresh water, so that the court dwelt in the upper chambers in much delight, as may be seen in the thermae of Diocletian, before Saint Sufana]. <br /><br />Now there are the Antonian Thermae, the Domitian Thermae, the Maximian, those of Licinius, the Diocletian, the Tiberian [behind Saint Sufana], the Novatian, those of Olympias [at Saint Laurence in panisperna], those of Agrippa [behind Round Saint Mary’s], and the Alexandrine [where the hospital of the Thermae is].<br /></span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">7. Of Palaces</span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Palaces in the city are these.</span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The Greater Palace of the Monarchy of the Earth, which contains the capital seat of the whole world.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The Caesearian palace in the Pallantean hill. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The palace of Romulus near the hut of Faustulus. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The palace of Severus [by Saint Sixtus]. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The palace of Claudius [between the Colosseum and Saint Peter in vincula]. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The
palace of Constantine [in the Lateran, where my lord the Pope dwells].
This Lateran palace was Nero's, and named from the side of northern
region where it stands, or from the frog which Nero secretly produced.
[18] In that palace there is now a great church.</span></li></ul><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">[18] Nichols helpfully supplies the original Latin. "<i>Dictum a latere septentrionalis plagae in quo situm est, vel a rana quam Nero latenter peperit.</i>" See? <i>latenter </i>(<i>lateo</i>), to hide. <i>Rana</i>, frog. <br /><br />If you don't know the legend of Nero's frog, you're in for a treat! </span></blockquote></blockquote><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">The
same apocryphal history tells us that Nero, obsessed by an evil
madness, ordered his mother killed and cut open so that he could see how
it had been for him in her womb. The physicians, calling him to task
over his mother’s death, said: “Our laws prohibit it, and divine law
forbids a son to kill his mother, who gave birth to him with such pain
and nurtured him with so much toil and trouble.” Nero said to them:
“Make me pregnant with a child and then make me give birth, so that I
may know how much pain it cost my mother!” He had conceived the notion
of bearing a child because on his way through the city he had heard the
cries of a woman in labor. They said to him: “That is not possible
because it is contrary to nature, nor is it thinkable because it is
contrary to reason.” At this Nero said to them: “Make me pregnant and
make me give birth, or I will have every one of you die a cruel death!”<br /></span> <span style="font-family: arial;"><br />
So the doctors made up a potion in which they put a frog and gave it to
the emperor to drink. Then they used their skills to make the frog grow
in his belly, and his belly, rebelling against this unnatural invasion,
swelled up so that Nero thought he was carrying a child. They also put
him on a diet of foods they knew would be suitable for the frog, and
told him that, having conceived, he had to follow the diet. At length,
unable to stand the pain, he told the doctors: “Hasten the delivery,
because I am so exhausted with this childbearing that I can hardly get
my breath!” So they gave him a drink that made him vomit, and out came
the frog horrible to see, full of vile humors and covered with blood.
Nero, looking at what he had brought forth, shrank from it and wondered
why it was such a monster, but the physicians told him that he had
produced a deformed fetus because he had not been willing to wait the
full term. He said: “Is this what I looked like when I came out from my
mother’s womb?” “Yes!” they answered. So he commanded that the fetus be
fed and kept in a domed chamber with stones in it. All this, however, is
not considered in the chronicles and is apocryphal. <br /><br />-<a href="https://www.blogger.com/">The Golden Legend</a>, trans. William Granger Ryan. Vol 1 p.347. <br /></span></blockquote></blockquote><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Is
this frog and chamber going in the <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/search/label/Iron%20Gates">Iron Gates</a> setting? Absolutely.
Hidden Frog, Golden Mice. We’ll get to the golden mice later. </span></blockquote></blockquote><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhRSKnDMARx_r0OHCUPsNbbR2-iufiikjdKLeU12hLmNWlUIwgTiLBwZ7gaastIhoW2yzYBWUCFg7qbBt78VF1oYOUJs2SRv8PZHFRUc3-th7RTKVH1IUfnYAQlyb3Vhg7NVr-z8xdTdVXcXctQ1JtBAwO69vtQoRV5v0TtdyY-I-73vskDXLHCoIDjzs/s1203/945eac24-8a96-4f93-a38c-385defae8e9d_2010.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="884" data-original-width="1203" height="470" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhRSKnDMARx_r0OHCUPsNbbR2-iufiikjdKLeU12hLmNWlUIwgTiLBwZ7gaastIhoW2yzYBWUCFg7qbBt78VF1oYOUJs2SRv8PZHFRUc3-th7RTKVH1IUfnYAQlyb3Vhg7NVr-z8xdTdVXcXctQ1JtBAwO69vtQoRV5v0TtdyY-I-73vskDXLHCoIDjzs/w640-h470/945eac24-8a96-4f93-a38c-385defae8e9d_2010.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div class="o-object-profile--portrait__object-number"><a href="https://www.getty.edu/art/collection/object/105TAH" style="font-family: arial;"> Ms. 33 (88.MP.70), fol. 226 </a></div></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The Sufurrian palace, where the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Croce_in_Gerusalemme">church of Saint Cross</a> is now. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The Volusian palace. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The Palace of Romulus [between New Saint Mary and Saint Cosmas], where are the two temples of Piety and Concord, and where Romulus set his golden image, saying, “It shall not fall until a virgin bears a child.” And as soon as the Virgin bore a son, the image fell down. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The palace of Trajan and Hadrian, where the pillar [twenty pace in height] is.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"> Constantine’s palace. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Sallust’s palace.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Camillus’ palace. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Antonine’s palace, where his pillar [twenty-seven paces high] is. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Nero’s palace [where Saint Peter’s Needle is] and where rest the bodies of the Apostles Peter and Paul, Simon and Jude. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Julius Caesar’s palace, where the sepulchure of Julius Caesar is. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Chromatius’ palace. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Eusimianus’ palace. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The palace of Titus and Vespasian outside Rome at the catacombs.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"> Domitian’s palace beyond the Tiber at the Golden Morsel. [19] </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Octavian’s palace [at Saint Laurence in Lucina].</span></li></ul><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">[19] Nichols provides "<i>Palatium Domitiani in transtiberim ad micam auream.</i>" “<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mica#Paints_and_cosmetics">Golden sands</a>” seem like a better translation than “golden morsel”, but who am I to judge?<br /><br /></span></blockquote></blockquote><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">8. Of Theatres </span></h3><span style="font-family: arial;">The theatres are these. The Theatre of Titus and Vespasian at the catacombs. The theatre of Tarquin and the Emperors at the Seven Floors. Pompey’s theater at Saint Laurence [in Damaso]. Antonius’ theatre by Antonius’ bridge. Alexander’s theatre near Round Saint Mary’s. Nero’s theatre near Crescentius’ castle. The Flamian theatre. <br /><br /></span><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">9. Of Bridges </span></h3><span style="font-family: arial;">The bridges are these. The Milvian bridge. The Hadrian bridge. The Neronian bridge [at Saffa]. The Antonine bridge [in arenula]. The Fabrican bridge [which is called the Jews’ bridge, because Jews dwell there.] Gratian’s bridge between the island and the <i>transtiberim</i>. The Senator’s bridge [of Saint Mary]. The marble bridge of Theodosius [at the Riparmea]. The Valentinian bridge.<br /><br /></span><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">10. Of the Pillars of Antonine and of Trajan, and of the Images that were of old time in Rome. </span></h3><span style="font-family: arial;">The winding pillar of Antonine is one hundred and seventy-five feet high. It has two hundred and three steps and forty-five windows. The winding pillar of Trajan is one hundred and thirty-eight feet high. It has one hundred and eighty five steps and forty-five windows. The colossean Ampitheatre is one hundred and eight submissal feet in height. [20] <br /><br />In Rome were once twenty two great horses of gilded brass, eighty horses of gold, eight-four horses of ivory [21], one hundred and eighty-four common jakes, fifty great sewers, bulls, griffons, peacocks, and a multitude of other images, the costliness of which seemed beyond measure, and men coming to the city had good cause to marvel at her beauty. <br /></span><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">[20]. No idea what “submissal feet” are in this context and I deeply regret googling it. Nichols adds “The word <i>submissales </i>(for which I do not know that any meaning has been suggested) seems to have arisen from the <i>semis </i>of the Noitia. <br /><br />[21]. Nichols adds, “In the Notitia it is<i> De aurei LXXX eburnei LXXXIIII</i>. By careless transcription the gods have been changed to horses.”</span></blockquote></blockquote><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />11. Of Cemeteries</span></h3><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The cemeteries are these. The cemetery of Calepodius at Saint Pancras. The Cemetery of Saint Agatha at the Ring. Ursus’ cemetery at Portesa. Saint Felix’s cemetery. Calixtus’ cemetery by the catacombs [at the church of Saint Fabian and Saint Sebastian]. Praetextatus’ cemetery near the Appian gate at Saint Apollinaris. Gordian’s cemetery outside the Latin gate. The cemetery between Two Bays at Saint Helen’s. The cemetery of the Capped Bear at Saint Viviana. The cemetery of the <i>ager Veranus</i> at Saint Laurence [without the walls]. The cemetery of Saint Agnes. The cemetery of Saint Peter’s well. Priscilla’s cemetery at the Salarian Bridge. The cemetery at the Cucumber Hill. Trafo’s cemetery at Saint Saturninus. The cemetery of Saint Felicity near that of Calixtus. [The cemetery of Saint Marcellus on the old Salarian Way. The cemetery of Balbina on the Ardeatine Way. The cemetery of the Innocents at Saint Paul.] The Pontian cemetery. The cemetery of Saint Hermes and Domitilla. The cemetery of Saint Cyriac on the Ostian way. [These cemeteries were chambers underground that sometimes stretched for three miles, and in which the holy martyrs were hidden.<br /><br /></span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">12. Of places where Saints suffered. </span></h3><span style="font-family: arial;">These are the places that are found in the passion of Saints. <br /></span><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Outside the Appian gate, the place where the blessed Sixtus was beheaded, and the place where the Lord appeared to Peter (where he said “Lord, whither goeth thou?”), and the temple of Mars. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Within the gate, the Dripping Arch, then, the region of the Fasciola at Saint Nereus.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The <i>Vicus Canarius</i> at Saint George, which was Lucilla’s house, and where the Golden Vail is. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The <i>aqua Salvia</i> at Saint Anastasius, where the blessed Paul was beheaded [and the head thrice uttered the word Jesus, as it bounded, and where there are still three wells, which spring up diverse in taste.]</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The garden of Lucina, the where the church of the blessed Paul is, and where he lies.</span></li><li> <span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Interlude</i>, that is, between two Games. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The hill of Scaurus, between the Amphitheatre and the Racecourse, before the Seven Floors, where the sewer is where Saint Sebastian was cast, who revealed his body to Saint Lucina, saying “Thou shall find my body hanging on a nail.” </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The <i>via Cornelia</i> by the Milvian bridge, and, going forth into the street, the <i>via Aurelia</i> near the Ring.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The steps of Eliogabalus in the entry of the palace. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The chained island behind Saint Trinity. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The Dripping arch before the Seven Floors. [22] </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The Roman arch between the Aventine and the Albiston, where the blessed Silvester and Constantine kissed and departed from one another.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"> In Tellure, that is the Canapara, where the house of Tellus stood. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The prison of Mamertinus before the Mars under the Capitol. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The Vicus Latericii at Saint Praxede. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The Vicus Latericii at Saint Praxede. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The Vicus Patricii at Saint Pudentiana. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The basilica of Jupiter at Saint Quiricus. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The <i>thermae </i>of Olympias, where the blessed Laurence was broiled, in Panisperna.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;"> The Tiberian palace of Trajan, where Decius and Valerian withdrew after Saint Laurence’s death. [The place is called the Baths of the Cornuti.] The Circus Flaminius at the Jews’ bridge. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">In the transtiberim, the temple of the Ravennates, pouring forth oil, where Saint Mary’s is.</span></li></ul><span style="font-family: arial;"><blockquote><blockquote>[22]. This whole section is both obscure and confused, possibly owing to multiple authors and copying errors.</blockquote></blockquote></span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9egNm2rmQ32_Ii2yaXWeaHQ6DKXxS4yeZS28E6nIii5aIbnNN5vsr0w6FRYwTGhrx9dJhTZ-HIWb4Q0yVgkSLXDX3tyWorphTkZUTcHKnkGOhPlkjczFoT_f4MdJJGO2gCdZnt0mUyl1yEHtAZiOpRdMywxojxA8agVifuqb3DWc3qpEhhJvzPfMkaAs/s861/what%20the%20fuck%20is%20going%20on%20in%20this%20thread.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="861" data-original-width="627" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9egNm2rmQ32_Ii2yaXWeaHQ6DKXxS4yeZS28E6nIii5aIbnNN5vsr0w6FRYwTGhrx9dJhTZ-HIWb4Q0yVgkSLXDX3tyWorphTkZUTcHKnkGOhPlkjczFoT_f4MdJJGO2gCdZnt0mUyl1yEHtAZiOpRdMywxojxA8agVifuqb3DWc3qpEhhJvzPfMkaAs/w466-h640/what%20the%20fuck%20is%20going%20on%20in%20this%20thread.jpg" width="466" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://discardingimages.tumblr.com/post/168942948583/surprised-luttrell-psalter-england-ca-1325-1340">Luttrell Psalter, England ca. 1325-1340<br />British Library, Add 42130, fol. 104r</a></span></p></td></tr></tbody></table><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Part II. The Second Part containing diverse Histories touching certain famous Places and Images in Rome. </span></h2><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">1. Of the Vision of Octavian the Emperor and of the Sybil’s Answer. </span></h3><span style="font-family: arial;">In the time of the emperor Octavian, the Senators, seeing him to be of such great beauty that none could look into his eyes [23], and of such great prosperity and peace that he had made all the world render tribute him tribute, said to him, “We desire to worship thee, because the godhead is in thee, for if it were not so, all things would not prosper with thee as they do.” <br /><br />But he, being reluctant, demanded a delay, and called for the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiburtine_Sibyl">Sibyl of Tibur</a>, to whom he repeated all the Senators had said. She asked for three days space, in which she kept a strict fast, and made an answer to him on the third day. “These things, sir emperor, shall surely come to pass: <br /></span><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Token of doom: the Earth shall drip with sweat; <br />From Heaven shall come the King forevermore, <br />And present in the flesh shall judge the world. </span></blockquote><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">And other verses that follow. [24] While Octavian diligently hearkened to the Sibyl, the heavens opened, and a great brightness lighted upon him, and he saw in heaven a virgin, passing fair, standing upon an altar, and holding a man-child in her arms.[25] He marvelled exceedingly at this. He heard a voice from heaven say, “This is the Virgin that shall conceive the Saviour of the World.” And he heard another voice from heaven say, “This is the altar of the Son of God.” The emperor fell to the ground and worshipped the Christ that should come. He showed this vision to the Senators, and they also marvelled exceedingly. The vision took place in the chamber of the emperor Octavian, which is now the church of Saint Mary in the Capitol [where the Friars Minors are.] Therefore it is called <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Maria_in_Ara_Coeli">Saint Mary in <i>ara coeli</i>. </a></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Upon another day, when the people had decreed to call him Lord, he
stayed them with his hand and look, and did not suffer himself to be
called Lord even by his sons, saying, “Mortal I am, and will not call me
Lord.” <br /></span></p><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">[23] Suetonius, <a href="https://penelope.uchicago.edu/Thayer/E/Roman/Texts/Suetonius/12Caesars/Augustus*.html"><i>Life of Augustus</i>, c.79</a>. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">[24] For the rest, see Augustine, <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/files/45305/45305-h/45305-h.htm#Page_217"><i>The City of God</i>, 1. xviii c.23</a>. <br /><br />[25] Nichols does not provide the Latin here, but I also marvel exceedingly at this mental image. </span></p></blockquote></blockquote><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">2. Of the Marble Horses, and of the Woman encompassed with Serpents. </span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Hear now why the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horse_Tamers">Horses of marble</a> were made bare, and the men beside them naked, and what story they tell, and what is the reason why there sits before the horses a certain woman encompassed with serpents, with a shell before her. <br /><br />In the time of the emperor Tiberius, two young men came to Rome. They were philosophers named Praxiteles and Phidias. They emperor, observing them to be full of wisdom, called them to his palace and said to them, “Why do you go about naked?”[26]<br /><br />They answered “Because all things are naked and open to us, and we hold the world of no account, and therefore we go naked and possess nothing. Whatever thou, most mighty emperor, shall devise in thy chamber by day or night, although we are absent, we will tell thee every word. “If ye shall do that ye say,” said the emperor, “I will give you whatever you desire.” They answered, “We ask no money, but only a memorial of us.” The next day, they showed the emperor what he had thought of in the night. Therefore he made them the memorial he had promised, namely, the naked horses, which trample on the earth, that is upon the might princes of the world that rule over the men of this world. And there shall come a mighty king, who shall mount the horse, that is upon the might of the princes of this world. Meanwhile there are the two men half naked, which stand by the horses, and with arms raised on high and bent fingers they tell the things that are to come. As they are naked, so is all worldly knowledge naked and open to their minds. The woman encompassed with serpents, that sits with a shell before her, [signifies the Church, encompassed with many rolls of scripture], to whom he that desires to go, may not, unless he is first washed in that shell [that is to say, unless he is baptized.]</span></p><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">[26] A valid question. This story is the inverse of the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Emperor%27s_New_Clothes">Emperor's new clothes</a>. </span></blockquote></blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6s0Ed7pX__7_8m7ubI9yXG0b4BQjyKl40swFrjJrQNpOdUXZoZco4EWmbASky_7wpxaPeUB2nJuRuSP9TyFdTtE8x_SPcfhaqs-Ue-rO5QTVB91eY49x9--rR34uS8DgMrni9YScW1ZChGasLQidqOexmUXWedyH9D3JgooysTZnHTJ03BYTAl8P6oXo/s965/Marcus_Aurelius_auf_dem_Pferd.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="965" data-original-width="800" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6s0Ed7pX__7_8m7ubI9yXG0b4BQjyKl40swFrjJrQNpOdUXZoZco4EWmbASky_7wpxaPeUB2nJuRuSP9TyFdTtE8x_SPcfhaqs-Ue-rO5QTVB91eY49x9--rR34uS8DgMrni9YScW1ZChGasLQidqOexmUXWedyH9D3JgooysTZnHTJ03BYTAl8P6oXo/w530-h640/Marcus_Aurelius_auf_dem_Pferd.jpg" width="530" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">3. Where the Horse was made that is called Constantine’s.</span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">At the Lateran there is a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equestrian_Statue_of_Marcus_Aurelius#">bronze horse that is called Constantine’s horse</a>, but it is not so. If you wish to know the truth, read it here. [27]<br /><br />In the time of the Consuls and Senators, a certain mighty king from the East came to Italy, and besieged Rome on the side of the Lateran, and afflicted the Roman people with much slaughter and war. Then a certain squire of great beauty and virtue, bold and subtle, arose and said to the Consuls and Senators, “If there were one that should deliver you from this tribulation, what would he deserve from the Senate?” And they answered, “Whatever he asks for, he shall presently obtain.” “Give me,” he said, “thirty thousand sesterces, and make a memorial of the victory when the fight is done, a horse in gilded brass.” They promised to do all they asked. Then he said, “Arise at midnight and arm yourselves, and stand watch within the walls, and whatsoever I say to you, that ye shall do.” And they did as he asked. Then he mounted a horse without a saddle, and took a sickle. For he had seen many nights the king come to the foot of a certain tree for his bodily need, at whose coming an owlet that sat in the tree always hooted. The squire went out of the city and made forage, which he carried before him tied in a truss in the fashion of a groom. And as soon as he heard the hooting of the owlet, he drew near, and saw that the king had come to the tree. He therefore went straightaway towards him. <br /><br />The lords that were with the king thought that he was one of their own people, and cried that he should take himself out of the way before the king. But he, not leaving is purpose for their shouting, while he feigned to go from the place, bore down upon the king, and such was his hardiness that in despite of them all he seized the king by force and carried him away. <br /><br />When he came to the walls of the city he began to cry, “Go forth and slay all the king’s army, for I have taken him captive.” And they, going forth, slew some and put the others to flighty, and the Romans had from that field an untold weight of gold and silver. So they returned glorious to the city, and all that they had promised the squire they paid and performed: thirty thousand sesterces, and a horse of gilded brass without a saddle for a memorial, with the man himself riding and having his right hand stretched forth, that he took the king with, and on the horse’s head a memorial of the owelet, upon whose hooting he had won the victory. [28] The king, who was of little stature, with his hands bound behind him as he had been taken away, was also figured, by way of remembrance, under the hoof of the horse.</span></p><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">[27] The noise I made when I read this sentence is difficult to describe. Imagine a very old steam engine softly collapsing. Also, the version given in the <i>Narracio de Mirabilibus Urbis Romae </i>is better.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">[28] The forelock of the horse does, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equestrian_Statue_of_Marcus_Aurelius#/media/File:Statua_Marco_Aurelio_Musei_Capitolini_Fronte.JPG">from some angles</a>, resemble an owlet or cuckoo. The statue of the bound king disappeared at some point.<br /></span></p></blockquote></blockquote><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">4. Of the making of the Pantheon, and of its Consecration. </span></h3><span style="font-family: arial;">In the time of the Consuls and Senators, the prefect <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agrippa">Agrippa</a>, with four legions of soldiers, subjugated to the Roman senate the Suevians, Saxons, and other western nations. Upon his return the bell of the image of the kingdom of the Persians, that was in the Capitol, rang. For in the temple of Jupiter and Moneta in the Capitol was an image of every kingdom of the world, with a bell about his neck, and as soon as the bell sounded, they knew that the country was rebellious. The priest that was on watch, hearing the sound of the bell, informed the Senators, and the Senators laid the ordering of the war upon the prefect Agrippa. [26] <br /><br />He denied that he had the ability to undertake so great a charge, but was at length constrained, and asked leave to take counsel for three days. One night, out of too much thinking he fell asleep, and a woman appeared to him who said, “What does thou, Agrippa? Thou art greatly troubled in thought.” and he answered, “Madam, I am.” <br /><br />She said, “Take comfort, and promise me, if thou shalt win the victory, to make me a temple such as I show unto thee.” And he said, “I will make it.” And she showed him in the vision a temple made after that fashion. And he said, “Madam, who art thou?” And she said, “I am Cybele, the mother of the gods. Bear libations to Neptune, who is a mighty god, that he help thee, and dedicate this temple to my worship and to Neptune’s, because we will be with thee, and thou shalt prevail.” <br /><br />Agrippa then arose with gladness, and rehearsed in the Senate all these sayings, and he went, with a great array of ships and with five legions, and overcame the Persians, and put them under a yearly tribute to the Roman Senate. And when he returned to Rome, he built this temple, and dedicated it to the honour of Cybele, mother of the gods, and of Neptune, god of the sea, and of all the gods, and he gave to this temple the name of Pantheon. And in honour of the famed Cybele he made a gilded image, which he set upon the top of the temple above the opening, and covered it with a magnificent roof of gilded brass. <br /><br />After many ages pope Boniface, in the time of Phocas, a Christian emperor, feeling that so marvellous a temple, dedicated in honour of Cybele, mother of the gods, before which Christian men were often stricken with devils, asked the emperor to grant him this temple. As it was consecrated to Cybele, mother of the gods, in the Calends of November, so he wished in the Calends of November to consecrate it to the blessed Mary, ever-virgin, that is the mother of all saints. This Caesar granted him, and the pope, with the whole Roman people, in the day of the Calends of November dedicated it, and ordained that upon that day the Roman pontiff should sign mass there, and the people take the body and blood of our lord as on Christmas day, and that on the same day all saints with their mother, Mary ever-virgin, and the heavenly spirits, should have a festival, and the dead have, throughout the churches of the whole world, a sacrifice for the ransom of their souls.</span><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">[26] This instrument is the Salvatio Civium or Salvatio Romae, which will be covered in the next post. <br /><br /></span></blockquote></blockquote><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">5. A Homily of the Passions of the Holy Abdon and Sennen, Sixtus and Laurence. </span></h3><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">I can’t be bothered to transcribe this part, as it’s not relevant to the topic at hand. <br /><br /></span></blockquote></blockquote><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">6. Why Octavian was called Augustus, and the dedication of the Church of Saint Peter at the Chains. </span></h3><blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Ditto. This section includes this cautionary tale on the use of the long s.</span></blockquote></blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD0f94B3RZWOgd1hYt-0xL-c6d8WDR27FQaOqx0IzpUoq7h35oEbb3cjy2Q-0a1YL8IlaLNtj4Bvf9rqGzELcFFwM0EOpsjLoSJ5KSsTxGVS9uWfuBCAmDve7QP1IXnuKiHARjqQtH_A_WQ4D0vcidwaftBTP4aah4ki910Ma5_enLWM7IrKw_7yz9A-E/s623/bitten%20in%20the%20asp.png" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="270" data-original-width="623" height="174" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD0f94B3RZWOgd1hYt-0xL-c6d8WDR27FQaOqx0IzpUoq7h35oEbb3cjy2Q-0a1YL8IlaLNtj4Bvf9rqGzELcFFwM0EOpsjLoSJ5KSsTxGVS9uWfuBCAmDve7QP1IXnuKiHARjqQtH_A_WQ4D0vcidwaftBTP4aah4ki910Ma5_enLWM7IrKw_7yz9A-E/w400-h174/bitten%20in%20the%20asp.png" width="400" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">7. Of the Colosseum, and of Saint Silvester. [27]</span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">[The Colosseum was the temple of the Sun, of marvellous greatness and beauty, disposed with many diverse vaulted chambers, and all covered with a heaven of gilded brass, where thunders and lightnings and glittering fires were made, and where rain was shed through slender tubes. Besides this there were the Signs supercelestial and the planets Sol and Luna, that were drawn along in their proper chariots. And in the midst stood Phoebus, that is the god of the Sun, who had his feet on the earth and reached unto heaven with his head, and held in his hand an orb, signifying that Rome ruled over the world. <br /><br />But after a space of time the blessed Silvester wished to destroy that temple, and other palaces, to the intent that the orators which came to Rome should not wander through profane buildings, but pass with devotion through the churches. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronze_colossus_of_Constantine">But the head and the hand</a> of the aforesaid idol he caused to be laid before his Palace of the Lateran in remembrance, and the same is now called by the vulgar Samson’s Ball. And before the Colosseum was a temple, where ceremonies were done to the aforementioned image.] </span></p><blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">[27] With all the long s-es in Nichols’ translation, I started to read the text in <a href="https://www.blogger.com/">Sylvester the Cat's</a> voice. “Thuffering succotash! The thepulchure of Conthanthine!”</span></blockquote></blockquote><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">8. Of the Foundation of the three great Churches of Rome by the Emperor Constantine, and of his Parting from Pope Silvester.</span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In the days of Pope Silvester, Constantine Augustus made and adorned the Lateran Basilica. And he put the Ark of the Covenant there, that Titus had carried away from Jerusalem with many thousands of Jews, and the golden candlestick having seven lamps with vessels for oil. <br /><br />In the ark are: the golden emerods, the mice of gold, [28] the Tables of the Covenant, the rod of Aaron, manna, the barley loaves, the golden urn, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seamless_robe_of_Jesus">the coat without seam</a>, the reed and garment of Saint John the Baptist, and the tongs with which Saint John the Evangelist was shorn. He put in the same basilica a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ciborium_(architecture)">civory</a> with pillars of porphyry. And he set there four pillars of gilded brass, which the Consuls of old brought into the Capitol from Mars’ Field, and set in the temple of Jupiter. [29] <br /><br /></span></p><blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">[28] What, you don’t remember the golden emerods and the mice of gold? From Samuel 5 and 6? The plague of haemorrhoids? <br /><br />[29] Other sources, including <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/06/the-travels-of-rabban-bar-sauma.html">Rabban Bar Sawma</a>, say these columns were brought from Jerusalem. </span></blockquote></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">He made also, in the time of the said pope and at his request, a basilica for the Apostle Peter before Apollo’s temple in the Vatican. The emperor first dung the foundation, and in reverence of the Apostles carried out twelve baskets full of earth. The said Apostle’s body is thus bestowed. He made a chest closed on all sides with brass and copper, which may not be moved, five feet in length at the head, five at the foot, on the right side five feet, and on the left side five feet, five feet above, and five feet below, and so he enclosed the body of the blessed Peter, and the altar above in the fashion of an arch he adorned with bright gold. <br /><br />And he made a civory with pillars of porphyry and purest gold. And he set there before the altar twelve pillars of glass that he had brought out of Grecia, and which were of Apollo’s temple at Troy. He set above the blessed Apostle Peter’s body a cross of pure gold, a hundred and fifty pounds in weight, on which was written Constantinus Augustus et Helena Augusta. <br /><br />He also made a basilica for the blessed Apostle Paul in the Oftian Way, and bestowed his body in brass and copper, in the same fashion as the body of the blessed Peter. <br /><br />The same emperor, after he became a Christian nad made these churches, also gave the blessed Silvester a <i>Phrygium</i>, and white horses, and all the imperialia that pertained to the dignity of the Roman empire, and he went away to Byzantium, with whom the pope, decked in the same, went as far as the Roman Arch, where they embraced, and kissed one another, and so departed.</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgicwrRctVHgyeIsY5OfjmRrrSSYQ1P283bNBrN46mjTuGiGkn_j8wwYcn5HiQBQE20uAn8OwG2ihqdqxoNtufOCvl-6IXyuSd7uK4BeBeJYsbCbpuZCsOPXPyLyag17b93FXSoblUyX0NJF6dP9_8jWXjTGpPyLHxZc5YvXOTdMw0S2No2F9iBunCzip0/s1024/99142316_2942410799183859_308862089076670464_n.png" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="515" data-original-width="1024" height="322" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgicwrRctVHgyeIsY5OfjmRrrSSYQ1P283bNBrN46mjTuGiGkn_j8wwYcn5HiQBQE20uAn8OwG2ihqdqxoNtufOCvl-6IXyuSd7uK4BeBeJYsbCbpuZCsOPXPyLyag17b93FXSoblUyX0NJF6dP9_8jWXjTGpPyLHxZc5YvXOTdMw0S2No2F9iBunCzip0/w640-h322/99142316_2942410799183859_308862089076670464_n.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="css-901oao css-16my406 r-poiln3 r-bcqeeo r-qvutc0" style="font-family: arial;">Pieter Jansz Saenredam</span></td></tr></tbody></table><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Part III. The Third Part contains a Perambulation of the City.</span></h2><blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Rather than rewrite this entire section, I'm going to quote the parts that are relevant to this project. </span></blockquote></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Near that is the memorial of Caesar, that is <a href="https://www.thebyzantinelegacy.com/vatican-obelisk">the Needle</a>, where his ashes nobly rest in his <i>sarcophagus</i>, to the intent that, as in his lifetime the whole world lay subdued to him, even so in his death the same may lie beneath him forever. The memorial was adorned in the lower part with tables of gilded brass, and engraved with Latin letters, and above at the ball, where he rests, it is deck with gold and precious stones, and there it is written: <br /><br /><i>Caesar, tantus eras quantus et orbis / Sed nunc in modico clauderis antro. </i><br /><br />And this memorial was consecrated after their fashion, as still appears and may be read. And below in Greek letters these verses are written. <br /><br />If one, tell how this stone was set on high. / If many stones, show where their joints lie. <br /><br />[...]</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Capitol [is so called, because it] was the head of the world, where the consuls and senators dwelled to govern the Earth. The face was covered with high walls and strong, rising above the top of the hill, and covered all over with glass and gold and marvelous carved work. [And in the Capitol were molten images of all the Trojan kings and of the emperors. Within the fortress was a palace all adorned with marvelous works in gold and silver and brass and costly stones, to be a mirror to all nations, [which was said to be worth the third part of the world]. <br /><br />[...]<br /><br />Near this house was the palace of Catiline, where the Church of Saint Anthony stood. Near that is a place that is called Hell, because in ancient times it burst forth there, and brought great mischief upon Rome, until a certain noble knight, to the intent that the city should be delivered after the responses of their gods, donned his harness and cast himself into the pit, and the earth closed, and the city was delivered. <br /><br />There is the temple of the Vesta, where it is said that a dragon crouches below, as we read in the life of Saint Silvester. [30]<br /><br /></span></p><blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">[30] Nichols adds, in two separate footnotes. <br /><br />"<i>Locus qui dicitur inferno, eo quod antiquo tempore ibi eructabat</i>. This name is still preserved in the Church of S. Maria <i>Libera nos a poenis Inferni</i>. The hollow vaults under the towering ruins of the Palatine seemed to have suggested fearful associations, which recalled at the same time the yawning pit of Curtius and the legendary cave of St. Silvester. <br /><br />The legend of St. Silvester and the dragon was associated with various localities in Rome. The ancient legendaries place it in the Capitol, the Ordo Romanus of Benedict ner St. Lucia in Orpheo. Among the pilgrims of the Infernus, by the temple of Vesta was believed to be the spot. In later medieval legendary not specific locality is mentioned, but the saint descends into the pit by a hundred and fifty-two steps, binds the mouth of the dragon, and shuts him there until the day of doom.” </span></blockquote></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">There was a candlestick made of stone Albiston, which, once kindled and set in the open air, was never by any means quenched. There, moreover, is the image of our Lord behind the altar, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acheiropoieta#Lateran_Palace_image_in_Rome">painted by no human hand</a>, after the fashion of our Lord in the flesh. <br /><br />[...]<br /><br />At Saint Mary in Fontana, the temple of Faunus, was the idol that spoke to Julian and beguiled him. [31]<br /></span><blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">[31] Nichols adds, “The legend, that <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julian_(emperor)">Julian</a> was lead astray by the speech of an idol in the temple of Faunus, is not found elsewhere. There is another legend, that he took an idol of Mercury out of the Tiber, and the demon within it induced him to renounce Christianity and gave him an empire.” </span></blockquote></blockquote><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Conclusion</span></h2><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">These and many more temples and palaces of emperors, consuls, senators, and prefects were in the time of the heathen within this Roman city, as we have read in old chronicles, seen with our eyes, and have heard tell of ancient men. And moreover, how great was their beauty in gold, and silver, and brass, and ivory, and precious stones, we have endeavoured in writing, as well as we could, to bring back to the remembrance of mankind.</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHsRHRuK9yMLydyCKPSp8gC6Ind_BWXBqgFPKcC_WTk4Xmif6epD-4hu73sJraWxAHkVTNJIaY5jPgicuW96mHvaOdi2cnp9wzF_sIS5L5u9nhCIQVWuWRkg3WLgXaDjOI9LuLWkBb8YzJymB0-y6wFd9ZUr7tdOr_L7kZsrqU_9KPdw0cnncrdB1SRJ8/s2250/Hubert_Robert_-_The_Old_Temple_-_1900.382_-_Art_Institute_of_Chicago.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2250" data-original-width="1947" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHsRHRuK9yMLydyCKPSp8gC6Ind_BWXBqgFPKcC_WTk4Xmif6epD-4hu73sJraWxAHkVTNJIaY5jPgicuW96mHvaOdi2cnp9wzF_sIS5L5u9nhCIQVWuWRkg3WLgXaDjOI9LuLWkBb8YzJymB0-y6wFd9ZUr7tdOr_L7kZsrqU_9KPdw0cnncrdB1SRJ8/w554-h640/Hubert_Robert_-_The_Old_Temple_-_1900.382_-_Art_Institute_of_Chicago.jpg" width="554" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hubert_Robert_-_The_Old_Temple_-_1900.382_-_Art_Institute_of_Chicago.jpg" style="font-family: arial;">Hubert Robert</a><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Final Notes</span></h2><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The <i>Mirabilia Urbis Romae</i> is supririsngly competent. Sure, there are errors and tall tales, but it's also a practical guidebook. It's far more grounded than <i><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2021/07/osr-iron-gates-in-cath-catharda.html">In Cath Catharda</a></i> or the travels of John Mandeville. The nomenclature is speculative at best, but it's a work of practical sense over entertaining fantasy... most of the time.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-65103098941543321952023-06-30T13:21:00.004-06:002023-06-30T13:21:42.625-06:00The Travels of Rabban Bar Sauma<p></p><p>In the 13th century, two monks from China, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabban_Bar_Sauma">Rabban Bar Sawma</a> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yahballaha_III">Rabban Mark</a>, embarked on a pilgrimage. Their journey is sometimes describe as "reverse Marco Polo", but this isn't a useful comparison. The text is a chronicle or a biography, not a detailed travelogue. It's darkly comic. They seem to arrive at locations just in time for a funeral. All joy is temporary. Power is a curse. The story does not have a happy ending. It's an insightful political document. </p><p>The quotes below are taken from <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E._A._Wallis_Budge">E. A. Wallis Budge</a>'s 1928 Public domain translation. <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20070928031354/http://www.nestorian.org/history_of_rabban_bar_sawma_1.html">Full text here</a> or <a href="https://www.yorku.ca/inpar/sawma_budge.pdf">here (PDF)</a>. </p><p>There's a significantly more reliable 2021 translation from Pier Giorgio Borbone, but it's not in the public domain. </p><p>The chronicle lacks the ludicrous wonders and mythic resonance of the <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2018/06/osr-iron-gates-quotes-from-greek.html">Alexander Romance</a>, but some aspects are still useful for the <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2018/06/osr-iron-gates-mythic-itinerary.html">Iron Gates</a> setting.<br /></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS9-1Xu_uJDsFM3F_r5Cg-geQSxkDLY5bAH6WUdN2YiPAzQecSDmAH3gDUtB67NCHSvnTA1S88YoH8UMktkdIvgP0R_77NUapcXQXevXtutEvpWMAjC3YI82hn0hP7LPIc2Eq-qnxKg5IMRsv-kxrliaRA8RNqd4MTozu42f7GUF6s8okp8UuVuy60Ulk/s1920/1920px-VoyagesOfRabbanBarSauma.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="882" data-original-width="1920" height="294" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS9-1Xu_uJDsFM3F_r5Cg-geQSxkDLY5bAH6WUdN2YiPAzQecSDmAH3gDUtB67NCHSvnTA1S88YoH8UMktkdIvgP0R_77NUapcXQXevXtutEvpWMAjC3YI82hn0hP7LPIc2Eq-qnxKg5IMRsv-kxrliaRA8RNqd4MTozu42f7GUF6s8okp8UuVuy60Ulk/w640-h294/1920px-VoyagesOfRabbanBarSauma.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabban_Bar_Sauma#/media/File:VoyagesOfRabbanBarSauma.jpg">Wikipedia</a></td></tr></tbody></table><h2 style="text-align: left;">Backstory</h2><blockquote>One day they meditated, saying, "It would be exceedingly helpful to us if we were to leave this region and set out for the West, for we could then [visit] the tombs of the holy martyrs and Catholic Fathers and be blessed [by them]. And if Christ, the Lord of the Universe, prolonged our lives, and sustained us by His grace, we could go to Jerusalem, so that we might receive complete pardon for our offences, and absolution for our sins of foolishness. Now although <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabban_Bar_Sauma">RABBAN SAWMA</a> opposed <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yahballaha_III">RABBAN MARK</a>, and [tried to] frighten him with the toil of the journey, and the fatigue of travelling, and the terror of the ways, and the tribulations that would beset him in a foreign country, RABBAN MARK burned to set out on the road. His mind seemed to reveal to him that there were treasures laid up for him in the West, and he pressed RABBAN SAWMA with his words, and importuned him to depart. And the two of them having agreed together that neither of them should be separated from his companion, even if one of them might have to submit to what was evil for his sake, they rose up and distributed their furniture, and the objects which they used in everyday life, among the poor, and they went to that city (i.e. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beijing">Pekin</a>) so that they might take companions for the journey [i.e. join a caravan] and provide themselves with food for the way.<br /> <br /> Now when the Christians who were living there became acquainted with them, and knew their intention, they gathered together about them so that they might make them abandon their plan. And they said [unto them}, "Peradventure ye do not know how very far off that region is to which ye would go? Or, perhaps ye have not the least idea in your minds, or have forgotten, how difficult it will be for you to travel over the roads, and that ye will never reach there? Nay, sit ye down here, and strive to perform the works whereunto ye have been called. For it is said, 'The kingdom of heaven is within you'" (Luke xvii. 21). And RABBAN SAWMA and RABBAN MARK replied, "It is a long time since we put on the garb of the monastic life, and we have renounced the world; we consider ourselves to be dead men in respect of it. Toil doth not terrify us, neither doth fear disturb us. There is, however, one thing which we ask of you: for the love of Christ pray for us."<br /><br /> [...]<br /><br /> And the report of the arrival of the two monks reached the lords of that city, KONBOGHA (i.e. Sun-worshipper) and IFOGHA (or IBOGHA) (i.e. Moon-worshipper), the sons-in-law of the King of Kings, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kublai_Khan">KUBLAI KHAN</a>, and as soon as they heard the report they sent messengers and had the two monks brought to the Camp. And they received them with gladness, and the fire of love for them burned in their breasts. And when the Lords knew that they were "going to flee from us," they began to say unto them, "Why are ye leaving this country of ours and going to the West? For we have taken very great trouble to draw hither monks and fathers from the West. How can we allow you to go away?" </blockquote><h2 style="text-align: left;">Inventory Management</h2><p></p><blockquote>And when the Lords of the city saw that their words had no effect upon them, and that they would not yield to their persuasion, they selected for them gifts, namely, beasts on which to ride, and gold, and silver, and wearing apparel [and rugs]. Then the two monks said, "We have no need of any [of these things]. For what can we do with these possessions? And how can we possibly carry such a weight [as] this?" <br /></blockquote><blockquote>And the kings mentioned above replied, "Ye have no knowledge of the length of this journey, and the expenses which it demands. We, however, do know, and we advise you not to set out empty [handed]; if ye do ye will be unable to arrive at the place which ye have decided to be your destination. </blockquote><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguJwg5icBTkfi7O0tHbsbqxJjgNlVBqRHt7_hIx6GQzZ_jj4e-1fe1YeN-iyNqdKpoQ_oNOBJX7XiBviSyuISpFOAbq6NK5X8M3WxpDU_QyzbOp35j7ggbCdQtwDCDp4BGEQEJuhVEhO9h6BX5S-0krRyj5aODu9K_J3UFDYQvRraUzozHsKi8r8PayCc/s1738/Battle_of_Mohi_1241.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1055" data-original-width="1738" height="388" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguJwg5icBTkfi7O0tHbsbqxJjgNlVBqRHt7_hIx6GQzZ_jj4e-1fe1YeN-iyNqdKpoQ_oNOBJX7XiBviSyuISpFOAbq6NK5X8M3WxpDU_QyzbOp35j7ggbCdQtwDCDp4BGEQEJuhVEhO9h6BX5S-0krRyj5aODu9K_J3UFDYQvRraUzozHsKi8r8PayCc/w640-h388/Battle_of_Mohi_1241.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Mohi">The Battle of Mohi</a><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><h2 style="text-align: left;">Hexcrawling and Random Encounters</h2><blockquote>And from there they went to the country of LOTON [? KHOTAN, or HO-THIAN, or YUTHIAN, a city between TANGOTH and KASHGAR], a toilsome and fatiguing journey of two months; the region was a bare and barren desert and it was without inhabitants, because its waters were bitter, and no crops are sown there. And on the whole journey there were only eight days when, with the greatest difficulty, was sweet water found which the travellers could carry with them. And in the days when they arrived at LOTON it happened that a war was raging between the King of Kings KUBLAI KHAN and King OKO ['O-'ho, Commander-in-chief of the army of Mien?].<br /> <br /> And OKO had fled from him and had entered [this] country, and destroyed thousands of men therein. The caravan roads and ways had been cut, and grain (?) was scarce and could not be found; and many died of hunger and perished through want.<br /> <br /> And after six months the two monks went forth from that place and came to the country of KASHKAR [or KASHGAR, a city on the frontiers of CHINA and TURKESTAN]. And they saw that the city was empty of its inhabitants, because it had been already plundered by the enemy. And because the aim of the monks was right, and they pleased God with all their hearts, He delivered them from every affliction, and no suffering attacked them, and He saved them from obstructions by highway robbers and thieves.<br /><br />[...]<br /><br />And with the greatest difficulty (20) and in a state of exhaustion whereto fear was added, they arrived at KHORASAN, [a province of north-eastern Persia, which lay between Persian 'Irak and Afghanistan]. Having lost the greater part of what they had on the road, they went to the monastery of Saint MAR SEHYON, which was in the neighbourhood of the city of TUS [the capital of KHORASAN], and they were blessed by the bishop who lived therein and by the monks.</blockquote><h2 style="text-align: left;">Prophetic Dreams </h2><p></p><blockquote>And again, on another night, MAR YAHBH ALLAHA saw another vision. It seemed him as if he were sitting upon a high throne and that many people were gathered together round about him, and he was teaching [them] And as he was speaking his tongue became long and longer until the greater part of it went forth from his mouth; and then it became divided into three portions, and there appeared on the tip of each portion something which was like unto fire. And the people who were there marvelled and glorified God. <br /><br />[...]<br /><br />One night, before he had heard of what had happened to AHMAD the king, MAR YAHBH-ALLAHA had a dream. And it seemed to him that a young man of handsome appearance came to him carrying a dish, which was covered over with a napkin, in his hands, and he said unto the Catholicus, "Stand up, and eat what is laid on the dish." And when he drew back the cloth he found a boiled head [of a man] in the dish, and he ate the whole head leaving nothing except he bones of the jaw. And the young man said unto him, "Dost thou know what thou hast eaten?" And the Catholicus said unto him, "No." And the young man said unto him, "This was the head of King AHMAD"; and the Catholicus awoke straightway and was frightened. And a few days later the report of the murder of the king, which hath already been mentioned, arrived, and the news that King ARGHON was reigning. And the joy of the Catholicus was great, not because of the death of Ahmad, but because ARGHON had become king.<br /><br />[...]<br /><br />And the king passed the night in the monastery. And that night, whilst he was sleeping, he saw in his dream three angels standing above him, the apparel of one of them was red, and the two others were clad in shining green garments. And they spake words of consolation to him, and gave him reason to hope that the disease in his toes would be healed. And on the following morning, the king brought out a splendid cross made of fine gold, wherein (145) rare stones of very great price were set, and in it was a fragment of the adorable wood of the Cross of our Vivifier which had been sent to the king as a mark of honour by MAR PAPA of the Romans, and he gave it as a gift to Mar Catholicus. And the king related his dream before all those who were seated there, and confessed (or declared), saying "Through the blessings of this holy hothouse I have got healing."</blockquote><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixDcJ8KpJRJNxD6wvkdZJP5CVIF6zUJ3hzww95a3B-a0CIOq7Y1dMpAqKKC-SaBrrLozsxGg0QyklCR7MnrPelXNmoX6uHGFtUWNgsUmJlMv3mAqs26oJiv9b5ua6XrKr9QRshHbQ9ZtM_b0xlgPUNzUICCDyII8m90MHUBiPpASNF_Y4K2-DidEDFsLU/s1073/800px-GhazanConversionToIslam.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1073" data-original-width="800" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixDcJ8KpJRJNxD6wvkdZJP5CVIF6zUJ3hzww95a3B-a0CIOq7Y1dMpAqKKC-SaBrrLozsxGg0QyklCR7MnrPelXNmoX6uHGFtUWNgsUmJlMv3mAqs26oJiv9b5ua6XrKr9QRshHbQ9ZtM_b0xlgPUNzUICCDyII8m90MHUBiPpASNF_Y4K2-DidEDFsLU/w478-h640/800px-GhazanConversionToIslam.JPG" width="478" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kublai_Khan#/media/File:GhazanConversionToIslam.JPG">Wikipedia</a></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><h2 style="text-align: left;">Political Realities</h2><p style="text-align: left;"></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><blockquote>The reason for his election was this: The kings who held the steering poles of the government of the whole world were MUGLAYE (Mongols), and there was no man except MAR YAHBH-ALLAHA who was acquainted with their manners and customs, and their policy of government, and their language. <br /> <br />And when [the nobles of Baghdad] said these things to him he made excuses and demurred to their statements, saying, "I am deficient in education and in ecclesiastical doctrine, and the member of my tongue halteth. How can I possibly become your Patriarch? And moreover, I am wholly ignorant of your language, Syriac, which it is absolutely necessary for the Patriarch to know." And having pressed upon him their quest, he agreed to their opinion and accepted [the office]. And all the aged men, and priests, and nobles, and scribes, and also the physicians, gave their support to him.</blockquote>The election of the Pope is portrayed as divinely inspired and deeply mysterious. This election, on the other hand, is practical. <br /><p></p><p style="text-align: left;">Mark had recently received the name "Mar Yahb-Allah" from the late Catholicus, via a divine lottery (i.e. choosing a Syriac name from a hat). Imagine the scene:<br /></p><p style="margin-left: 40px; text-align: left;">Sawma: Congratulations to the new Catholicus, Mar Yahb-Allah!<br />Mark: Yes, congratulations to Mar Yahb-Allah.<br />Sawma: Mark.. <i>you're Mar Yahb-Allah.</i><br />Mark: <a href="https://www.aramaic.rocks/2021/05/cussing-in-aramaic.html">גירא בעיני</a> (Lit. "An arrow in my eye!" or "Aww FUCK!")<br /></p><h2 style="text-align: left;">Touching Moments</h2><p style="text-align: left;"></p><blockquote>The Catholicus gave his permission to depart, but when the time for his departure arrived, it did not please the Catholicus to permit him to go. For he said [unto Rabban Sawma], "How can this possibly take place? Thou hast been the governor of my cell, and thou knowest that through thy departure my affairs will fall into a state of utter confusion." And having said such words as these they said farewell to each other, weeping as they did so. And the Catholicus sent with him letters, and gifts which were suitable for presentation to Mar Papa (the Pope), and gifts [i.e. offerings] according to his ability.</blockquote><p></p><p style="text-align: left;">Despite abridgement, multiple translations, and centuries of distance, there are touches of real friendship in this text. Little human moments, like King Phillip II's showmanship in relics, King Kazan's sore toes, and, of course, the friendship between Rabban Sawma and Mark.<br /></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho7-HGfp29bsbZc5GVsMYCiOWtCQVTQq3NDf0WkVWndOiRC8muLmjfAKEJfHBrZvIJECU-j4Sd6IbbVlwKHBlKVaXa-IwBEr6QZ88UIBA5Unw6KmzSqYJkIUNtyL2wYPmQIQ-9asnH-F4AY_dtBI8ue7hC7DeQr634RNzgTA5EvyelmVPq4yJJRPNmRe8/s1136/Crown%20of%20Thorns.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="852" data-original-width="1136" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho7-HGfp29bsbZc5GVsMYCiOWtCQVTQq3NDf0WkVWndOiRC8muLmjfAKEJfHBrZvIJECU-j4Sd6IbbVlwKHBlKVaXa-IwBEr6QZ88UIBA5Unw6KmzSqYJkIUNtyL2wYPmQIQ-9asnH-F4AY_dtBI8ue7hC7DeQr634RNzgTA5EvyelmVPq4yJJRPNmRe8/w640-h480/Crown%20of%20Thorns.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Crown of Thorns. Note that this is not the medieval reliquary mentioned below. This crystal ring <a href="https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sainte_Couronne">dates to 1896</a>. The medieval reqliquary may have vanished during the Revolution.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><h2 style="text-align: left;">Wondrous Objects</h2><p style="text-align: left;"></p><blockquote>Now MARY wept on that stone, and the place hereon her tears fell is wet even at the present time; and however often this moisture is wiped away the place becometh wet again. [...] And also the BETH KAWMA (resting place) of the Three Hundred and Eighteen [orthodox] Bishops who were all laid in one great church; and their bodies have not suffered corruption because they had confirmed the [True] Faith. And he saw also many shrines of the holy Fathers, and many amulets of a magical character (talismata) and image[s] in bodily form made of bronze and stone (Eikons?).<br /><br />[...]<br /><br />And from that place they went to the spot where PAUL the Apostle, was crowned [with martyrdom]. They say that when his head was cut off it leaped up thrice into the air, and at each time cried out CHRIST! CHRIST! And that from each of the three places on which his head fell there came forth waters which were useful for healing purposes, and for giving help to all those who were afflicted. <br /><br />[...]<br /><br />And MAR PAPA said, "If we had been in the habit of giving away these relics to the people [who come] in myriads, even though the relics were as large as the mountains, they would have come to an end long ago. But since thou hast come from a far country, we will give thee a few." And he gave to RABBAN SAWMA a small piece of the apparel of our Lord Christ, and a piece of the cape (. . .) that is to say, kerchief of my LADY MARY, and some small fragments of the bodies of the saints that were there. And he sent to MARR YAHBH-ALLAHA a crown for his head which was of fine gold and was inlaid with precious stones; and sacred vestments made of red cloth through which ran threads of gold; and socks and sandals on which real pearls were sewn; and the ring from his finger; and a "Pethikha" or Bull which authorized him to exercise Patriarchal dominion over all the Children of the East. And he gave to RABBAN SAWMA a "Pethikha" which authorized him to act as Visitor-General over all Christians. And Mar Papa blessed him and he caused to be assigned to him for expenses on the road one thousand, five hundred mathkale of red gold. And to King Arghon he sent certain gifts. And he embraced RABBAN SAWMA and kissed him and dismissed him. And RABBAN SAWMA thanked our Lord who had held him to be worthy of such blessings as these.</blockquote><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWhzUFsCZ78itJqrazC_81NF_HsVnWc6n9UzEYWYQiAddv_N3hSQyJO54SqklGgHRUHwYmCFUwMNlINo6GRxg0FCwf1WlhmB0V-87FEthKOoaenGDW5i4GSCdJqHRwWXpR3SULWNw2rM5OnxnLwDkzhYOPVxHmsE6iP2uKWcLe7EpfINXs0zQB4nuQ3Lo/s800/Etna_1669fresco.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="608" data-original-width="800" height="486" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWhzUFsCZ78itJqrazC_81NF_HsVnWc6n9UzEYWYQiAddv_N3hSQyJO54SqklGgHRUHwYmCFUwMNlINo6GRxg0FCwf1WlhmB0V-87FEthKOoaenGDW5i4GSCdJqHRwWXpR3SULWNw2rM5OnxnLwDkzhYOPVxHmsE6iP2uKWcLe7EpfINXs0zQB4nuQ3Lo/w640-h486/Etna_1669fresco.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.italysvolcanoes.com/ETNA_1669.html"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="font-size: small;">1669 eruption
of Mt. Etna</span></a></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p></p><h2 style="text-align: left;">Firey Serpents</h2><p style="text-align: left;"></p><blockquote>And he went down to the sea [i.e. embarked on a ship] and came to the middle thereof, where he saw a mountain from which smoke ascended all the day long and in the night time fire showed itself on it. And no man is able to approach the neighbourhood of it because of the stench of sulphur [proceeding therefrom]. Some people say that there is a great serpent there. This sea is called the "Sea of Italy." Now it is a terrible sea, and very many thousands of people have perished therein. </blockquote><p></p><h2 style="text-align: left;">Damn You, Anonymous Transcriber!</h2><p style="text-align: left;"></p><blockquote>Now because it was not our intention to relate and set out in order all the unimportant things which RABBAN SAWMA did and saw, we have abridged very much of what he himself wrote in his narrative in Persian. And even the things which are mentioned here have been abridged or amplified, according to necessity. </blockquote>Of course, the original Persian text is lost.<br /><br />Unlike some<a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2018/07/a-12th-century-tour-part-7-egypt-north.html"> contemporary accounts</a>, it seems reasonably certain that Babban Bar Sauma went where he says he went and saw what he says he saw. The political background of some events might be lightly edited to present the truth in the best possible light, and omit inconvenient factional intrigues, but it's a clear-eyed record.<br /><p></p><h2 style="text-align: left;">The Circle of Loot<br /></h2><p style="text-align: left;">I don't think it's intentional, but there's a theme of looting and counterlooting in this text. Rich gifts are given and stolen. Rabban Sawma glorifies items looted from Jerusalem but, in later chapters, laments when his monastery is looted, and then rejoices when he receives fresh loot from Palestine and Syria.<br /><br /></p><blockquote>There are in that church four pillars of copper [or brass], each of which is six cubits in thickness; these, they say, the kings brought from Jerusalem.<br /><br />[...] <br /><br />And RABBAN SAWMA and his companions saw also a six-sided paten, made of emerald, and the people there told them that it was off this paten from which our Lord ate the Passover with His disciples, and that it was brought there when Jerusalem was captured. </blockquote>You'd think the gospels would mention a six-sided paten made of emerald, but no...<br /><blockquote>[...]<br /><br />Forthwith he went up with the king into an upper chamber of gold, which the king opened, and he brought forth from it a coffer of beryl wherein was laid the Crown of Thorns which the Jews placed upon the head of our Lord when they crucified Him. Now the Crown was visible in the coffer, which, thanks to the transparency of the beryl, remained unopened. And there was also in the coffer a piece of the wood of the Cross. And the king said to RABBAN SAWMA and his companions, "When our fathers took Constantinople, and sacked Jerusalem, they brought these blessed objects from it." <br /><br />[...]<br /><br />And when the story went forth that this impudent fellow had done this without any royal command, and had acted solely because of the evil of his disposition, and the intensity of is wickedness, the Amirs and the governors who were in MARAGHAH gathered together, and took counsel, and decided to perform judgement on a following Sunday and to restore to the Cell the various valuable objects which those impudent men had carried off from it. Now these objects were of very great price, among them being the gold seal which the King of Kings MANGU KHAN [the eldest son of TULUI KHAN and grandson of GENGHIS KHAN]--May our Lord give rest to his soul, and make his portion to be with the saints!--had given to the Patriarchal Cell, and that crown which Mar Papa (the Pope) had given to the Cell, and another seal, made of silver, which the deceased King Arghon had given to Catholicus.<br /><br />[...]<br /><br />And the treasury of the holy church of MAR GEORGE, which RABBAN SAWMA had built, was broken open and everything that was in the Cell, the vessels of copper and iron, the carpets, and the chests of stores, which had escaped a previous looting, were all taken and carried off at the same time. But by the looting of those things the church itself was saved and delivered from pulling down and destruction. Those impudent men had fully intended to destroy the church, but God in His mercy on that church prevented them from doing this by means of the objects which they looted. <br /><br /> [...]<br /><br />Now the object of the victorious king was to conquer the countries of PALESTINE and SYRIA. And the Catholicus wintered in the Fortress of ARBIL, and during the whole of that winter, he devoted himself to getting ready the money for [the building of the monastery of which he was laying the foundations. And when the victorious king returned from PALESTINE [and SYRIA], having conquered and broken their armies, and plundered them, and scattered, and slain and carried of the inhabitants into captivity--for he hd actually carried out what he had determined to do--the Catholicus went up again with him to ADHORBIJAN. And he began to build the monastery, and he devoted his whole care and energy to the work until he completed it.<br /><br />And in the month of 'Ilul (September) of the year [A.D. 1300], KAZAN, the victorious king came to Mar Catholicus at Maraghah, and he remained with him for three days. And the joy of the Christians waxed great, and the kin (134) showed great love towards them, for he knew well that they were simple and guileless, and innocent of wickedness. And he departed with a joyful heart from the Catholicus, who had ministered unto him exceedingly well. <br /><br />[...]<br /><br />Later in this year, in the month of Abh, the victorious king sent to Mar Catholicus vases of crystal, and vases of glazed porcelain (kashani, in Persian djini) with (146) designs on them in gold. [The king] had brought handicraftsmen from the city of DARMASUK (DAMASCUS) and from KASHAN [on the Tehran road]. By the dispatch of these vessels [the king] showed great love for [MAR CATHOLICUS.]. </blockquote><p></p><h2 style="text-align: left;">Additional Themes and Notes</h2><ul style="text-align: left;"><li style="text-align: left;">The importance of letters and seals of authority.</li><li style="text-align: left;">A slightly baffled authority trying to keep the lid on a multifaith empire. "Why are you fighting again? I said stop!" And then finally throwing up its hands and saying "Oh fine, have a massacre. At least it'll solve the dispute."</li><li style="text-align: left;">Bargaining from a position of weakness. Trying to emphasize the similarities of doctrine with practical acts (holding mass in front of witnesses so they can see the similarity in rites) to form a political alliance. <br /></li><li style="text-align: left;">Dealing with volatile rulers. You think the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Plantagenet">Plantagenets</a> were feisty? Try working with the Mongols.</li></ul>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-16273493864802490182023-06-24T08:13:00.001-06:002023-06-24T08:13:46.448-06:00OSR: Perlesvaus and the Iron Gates<span style="font-family: arial;">The <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2018/06/osr-iron-gates-mythic-itinerary.html">Iron Gates</a> setting is the successor age to Alexander the Great. What if the <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2018/06/osr-iron-gates-quotes-from-greek.html">Alexander Romance</a>, <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2021/07/osr-iron-gates-in-cath-catharda.html"><i>In Cath Catharda</i></a>, and the weirder bits of<a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2018/07/a-12th-century-tour-part-7-egypt-north.html"> Benjamin of Tudela's travels</a> were true? What if this mythic history was real history, and the world - the iron successor age to Alexander's bronze, just as Alexander's age of bronze was the successor to <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sesostris">Sesonchosis</a>' age of stone - was falling apart?</span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5rkldnZRzikclm7-h1ZVlo_IuMAWCIf1u_cQ5LTksRb-cziOIVWNUOJbAaB9K8mFjXSa6qAij4vjaVVLulICzvdDYKxlGSYrvktKd_h7-0x2YAv83gooliJKkbenNSZ3lyQ5M-w1_k6N6ugOz4cqEu-fstwLBblOqdgb3dr5AZFW0VjfklBw70ANTYBU/s2762/artem-demura-tree-of-painf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2762" data-original-width="1920" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5rkldnZRzikclm7-h1ZVlo_IuMAWCIf1u_cQ5LTksRb-cziOIVWNUOJbAaB9K8mFjXSa6qAij4vjaVVLulICzvdDYKxlGSYrvktKd_h7-0x2YAv83gooliJKkbenNSZ3lyQ5M-w1_k6N6ugOz4cqEu-fstwLBblOqdgb3dr5AZFW0VjfklBw70ANTYBU/w444-h640/artem-demura-tree-of-painf.jpg" width="444" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.artstation.com/stargrave" style="font-family: arial;">Artem Demura</a></td></tr></tbody></table><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Perlesvaus</span></h2><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Or</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">How To Get Ahead In Life</span></div><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Arthuriana heavily influences the Dark Souls series, so using Arthurian canon as the basis for the Iron Gates would be counterproductive. We already <i>have</i> that. You can play it now. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">But some obscure bits are well worth mining for RPG elements. Luckily, there's a team already on the project. The folks at the <a href="https://www.themaniculumpodcast.com/blog">Maniculum Podcast</a> take medieval texts and examine them with a contemporary dorky lens. It's very fun. I'd be interested to see their take on <a href="https://celt.ucc.ie//published/T305001/index.html"><i>In Cath Catharda</i></a>, if they want a medieval Irish text of dubious quality.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perlesvaus"><i>Perlesvaus</i> </a>is a 13th century sequel to <span class="B2EFF public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr"><span>Chrétien de Troyes <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Percival#Perceval"><i>Percival</i></a>. It's very, very weird. The podcasters compare it to bad internet fanfiction.<br /></span></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVdm_A-KVXBkxjddyPMqstCaDO-2StTrhZSpfud_vYwyo4A1cJliawNwl22GlmAmihvriD8yn84R7msSUY_AqPbXERPXTM6t9Z5kXR92h00w4koKf--_UoWDxJRUKWHJVTjeUoDZbr1uRET20S2tbP3cOe3UdYxjr6o6TPHtj1ZTicVwg_MA01z_RZZVA/s382/Loomis%E2%80%99s%20The%20Grail.png" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="161" data-original-width="382" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVdm_A-KVXBkxjddyPMqstCaDO-2StTrhZSpfud_vYwyo4A1cJliawNwl22GlmAmihvriD8yn84R7msSUY_AqPbXERPXTM6t9Z5kXR92h00w4koKf--_UoWDxJRUKWHJVTjeUoDZbr1uRET20S2tbP3cOe3UdYxjr6o6TPHtj1ZTicVwg_MA01z_RZZVA/w400-h169/Loomis%E2%80%99s%20The%20Grail.png" width="400" /></a></div><p style="margin-left: 40px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;">" 'Is this macabre obsession with decapitated heads another symptom of an abnormal mentality?' "</span></p><p style="margin-left: 80px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;">"Ok but there's a lot of decapitated heads in medieval literature."</span></p><p style="margin-left: 40px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;">"I know. Imagine how many there have to be in this text to make it stand out."</span></p><p style="margin-left: 80px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;">"oh no" <br /></span></p><p style="margin-left: 40px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"> -The Maniculum Podcast, Perlesvaus Ep 1.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I vaguely remember reading a few pages of <i>Perlesvaus </i>many years ago. <a href="https://archive.org/details/highhistoryofhol00perliala/page/2/mode/2up">Evans' 1889 translation</a> is... not great, so I doubt I got past the introduction. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">While I wait for a copy of Nigel Bryant's 1977 translation to arrive, here are a few notes from the Maniculum's reading. For convenience (my own, mostly), here are the Maniculum blog posts on Perlesvaus: <a href="https://www.themaniculumpodcast.com/post/episode-31-perlesvaus-pt-1">1</a>, <a href="https://www.themaniculumpodcast.com/post/episode-33-perlesvaus-part-two">2</a>, <a href="https://www.themaniculumpodcast.com/post/episode-36-perlesvaus-pt-3">3</a>, <a href="https://www.themaniculumpodcast.com/post/episode-38-perlesvaus-pt-4">4</a>, <a href="https://www.themaniculumpodcast.com/post/episode-41-perlesvaus-part-five">5</a>, <a href="https://www.themaniculumpodcast.com/post/episode-45-perlesvaus-part-6">6</a>, <a href="https://www.themaniculumpodcast.com/post/perlesvaus-part-7">7</a>, <a href="https://www.themaniculumpodcast.com/post/perlesvaus-pt-viii">8</a>, <a href="https://www.themaniculumpodcast.com/post/perlesvaus-pt-ix">9</a>. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">-The text is attributed to "Josephus", who could be <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josephus">Flavius Josephus</a>, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josephus_of_Arimathea">Josephus of Aramathea</a>, or some other Josephus.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">-There are more timeline and continuity issues than CW's <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riverdale_(American_TV_series)">Riverdale</a></i> series. <i>When </i>is any of this happening? The past. Don't worry about it.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">-A major quest item it the sword that beheaded John the Baptist. This is a strange enough item that there's <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2912409">a whole paper on the subject</a>. It's not the <a href="http://falsemachine.blogspot.com/2015/08/the-sword-you-never-heard-of.html">Sword of Strange Girdles</a>, but it's still weird. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">-Traps!<br /></span></p><p class="xVISr Y9Dpf bCMSCT OZy-3 lnyWN yMZv8w bCMSCT public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 fixed-tab-size public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr" id="viewer-5eb4t" style="text-align: left;"><span class="B2EFF public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" style="font-family: arial;"><span></span></span></p><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><p class="xVISr Y9Dpf bCMSCT OZy-3 lnyWN yMZv8w bCMSCT public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 fixed-tab-size public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr" id="viewer-5eb4t"><span class="B2EFF public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" style="font-family: arial;"><span>
</span></span><span class="B2EFF public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" style="font-family: times;"><span>The Haughty Maiden invites Gawain in and gives him a tour of the local chapel. Within there are four empty tombs and three recesses within the wall, filled with shrines and gems. The Maiden explains that three of the tombs are for the best knights in the land, Gawain, Lancelot of the Lake, and Percival, while the fourth one is for her. She plans to lure them into each of their respective shrines and displays the guillotine-type blades that will behead them once they kneel in the recesses, to collect their heads and keep them forever. She even has knights constantly roaming, looking for them. Talk about a superfan. </span></span></p><p class="xVISr Y9Dpf bCMSCT OZy-3 lnyWN yMZv8w bCMSCT public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 fixed-tab-size public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr" id="viewer-5upg"><span class="B2EFF public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" style="font-family: times;"><span>
Gawain excuses himself after mass the next morning and flees from the castle, but runs into one of the roving knights on his way out. He makes a daring escape, and the tale briefly returns to the Maiden as she realizes just who Gawain really was. </span></span></p><span class="B2EFF public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" style="font-family: arial;"><span></span></span><p><span style="font-family: arial;">-<a href="https://www.themaniculumpodcast.com/post/episode-33-perlesvaus-part-two">The Maniculum Blog, Ep 2</a></span></p></blockquote><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">-Arthurian Dwarves! <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">-Reactive scenery!<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="B2EFF public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" style="font-family: arial;"><span></span></span></p><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><p><span class="B2EFF public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" style="font-family: arial;"><span> </span></span><span class="B2EFF public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" style="font-family: times;"><span>As they travel, the narrator explains that the land around them changes according to the will of God, because the local knights in England get bored with normal life and always seek new adventures. </span></span></p><p><span class="B2EFF public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" style="font-family: arial;"><span></span></span><span style="font-family: arial;">-<a href="https://www.themaniculumpodcast.com/post/perlesvaus-pt-viii">The Maniculum Blog, Ep 8</a></span></p></blockquote><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="B2EFF public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" style="font-family: arial;"><span>Ever wondered how a knight can go through a forest in Wales, find an island, land on it, then end up in Albania? That's how. God did it. Now roll for initiative.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="B2EFF public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" style="font-family: arial;"><span></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyBT_XHT5BuSEEa2Vx-_-49ksrdxGOWlP8kPPeQ7tQDCFT9K1CBXYopOAVCrmmX0xNI165QPmUzo165gotN8wwi2xjEpGuUYPfmC6uSAeyHPCknC9ropQRJ_r1stWhqh_FudhxGvnp3wAYgDIaCE7mK6qf9oEExhd9O0FoKvdAquylKBVznr4BF1XRrHQ/s800/1686665892045.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="449" data-original-width="800" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyBT_XHT5BuSEEa2Vx-_-49ksrdxGOWlP8kPPeQ7tQDCFT9K1CBXYopOAVCrmmX0xNI165QPmUzo165gotN8wwi2xjEpGuUYPfmC6uSAeyHPCknC9ropQRJ_r1stWhqh_FudhxGvnp3wAYgDIaCE7mK6qf9oEExhd9O0FoKvdAquylKBVznr4BF1XRrHQ/w400-h225/1686665892045.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"> And yes, it's all allegorical and very, very Christian. <a href="https://irh.wisc.edu/staff/mcclure-adrian/">The author might be working through trauma from the Albigensian Crusade</a>. There's <a href="https://yiddishknights.tumblr.com/post/714440837761744896/yiddishknights-even-though-its-not-explicitly">a lot going on in</a> <i>Perlesvaus</i>... and I get to ignore all of it. Turn the tables on the author. You want to appropriate<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judas_Maccabeus"> Judas Maccabeus</a> for your own purposes. Well I get to appropriate <i>your </i>characters. See how <i>you</i> like it. <br /></span><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Schemes and the Iron Gates</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Old-school dungeon crawling naturally generates schemes. It is
possible to run an RPG as a tournament-style on-rails board/war game
with strictly defined mechanics, but it's a waste of the medium's
potential. The first time someone threw lamp oil at a flammable mummy,
or used an inventory item in an unexpected way, RPGs left the wargaming
world and became their own thing. <br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Schemes are a major selling point. Schemes are also inherently ridiculous. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Perhaps it's dramatic irony. Everyone is waiting for the other shoe to drop.. Even the most serious scheme, when exposed to the light, tends to have an element of farce in it. Secret names, disguise, last-minute oversights, folly, ambition, and venality.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">It is difficult to create a serious, grim, fallen world Dark Souls setting when players have freedom of action.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">On the other hand, in the source texts, silly things happen all the time. <i>In Cath Catharda</i> is fairly serious (or, at least, not intentionally funny), but the Alexander Romances are full of PC shenanigans, as is <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/27869938">Perlesvaus</a>.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Using Medusa's severed head as a weapon. Using a glowing gem found in a fish's belly as a light in your lantern. Sleeping in your armour because this castle is obviously a trap. Not sleeping with fair maidens because you are on a Holy Quest and are Sufficiently Genre Aware. Etc.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">In a normal RPG book, I try to write tools to generate schemes, often with a humorous twist. Gaming should be fun.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">For the Iron Gates, I need to write tools to generate schemes with a more somber tone, but the game still needs to be fun. Nobody's going to turn up week after week to be miserable. They can get misery at home.</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioqQ6jlwnXFgyTeeTpq7ZMheKFehXxWV9O234n2hzWyumDa3G3iWma2j3KJBxYusv8e9ZKgDEFswi_DxUx-YRetarUnZ56S5BwHI8bjPPXHLYJmLxrVXe-nd5ImUvOH-odKQZpkSx5a1u7_-PnhRRnpbWKBY8Y14OVr38mLmVlqOizyeuntRRsyM0cJOg/s1920/artem-demura-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="747" data-original-width="1920" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioqQ6jlwnXFgyTeeTpq7ZMheKFehXxWV9O234n2hzWyumDa3G3iWma2j3KJBxYusv8e9ZKgDEFswi_DxUx-YRetarUnZ56S5BwHI8bjPPXHLYJmLxrVXe-nd5ImUvOH-odKQZpkSx5a1u7_-PnhRRnpbWKBY8Y14OVr38mLmVlqOizyeuntRRsyM0cJOg/w640-h250/artem-demura-4.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.artstation.com/stargrave" style="font-family: arial;">Artem Demura</a></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">What Do The PCs Do?</span></h2><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">In <i>Perlesvaus</i>, the world is falling apart because King Arthur stopped having adventures. That's his job. He's supposed to get out there, meet hermits, rescue maidens, receive ambiguous prophecies, and escape from perilous situations. He's not being a good king, so a variety of poorly explained curses have fallen on the land.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">OSR-type games often use wealth as a motivation. Get rich or die trying.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">5E-type games often use saving the world as a motivation, but tend to rely on a clear villain, an easily explained plot, and unambiguous (or at least unexamined) morality. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">But what is the motivation of the PCs in the Iron Gates? What do they do? Get rich? <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2018/06/osr-iron-gates-quotes-from-greek.html">Gold has supernatural power.</a> They can become the rulers of a doomed world, the latest in a chain of warlords to occupy a throne. Break down the Iron Gates? Even if that's possible, it means the end of the world as they know it. It's easy to create a setting. It's trickier to create a setting that can tell more than one story.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Exploration seems like a sensible goal, but in some games, "exploration" is just another way of saying "listen to the GM read about imaginary places." Novels do that better.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Perhaps a bit of subterfuge? The game starts out with players operating on one layer (getting rich), transitions to a second layer (getting powerful), and then a third (realizing that wealth and power are illusions and the world is doomed, unless...).</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Or perhaps a more explicit Holy Grail type quest at the start? Find X item to avoid Doom Y. Oh no, while finding Item X, you discovered meta-Doom Z.<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-42989848780073574812023-06-19T21:22:00.001-06:002023-06-19T21:30:00.068-06:00 OSR: The Mystery of Uriah Shambledrake Session 20 - Colliding Fates<p><span style="font-family: arial;">In the <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/05/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake_8.html">previous installment</a>, the PCs:</span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Critiqued a constitution.<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Plotted civic improvements.<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Performed, and then fought, an environmental cleanup operation.<br /></span></li></ul><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The PCs are:</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Tom Shambledrake</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2020/04/osr-class-electric-wizard.html">Electric Wizard</a>
and heir to the bankrupt Shambledrake estate. Inventor of the Lightning
Accumulator, the Lightning Inverter, and the Iron Spike.<br /><br /><b>Jonty Earl</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2021/04/osr-4-glog-classes-for-loxdon-college.html">Dandy</a>. Assistant Professor at Loxdon College. Deeply enmeshed in stock-jobbery and financial chicanery.<br /></span></span></span><span><span><span><b><br />Dr. Augustus Hartwell</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2018/01/osr-class-biomancer.html">Biomancer</a>.
A foreign doctor and self-described "quack", currently employed at
Blumsworth Hospital. Ally of speaking rats, workers, and other vermin.<br /><br /><b>Lizzy Ramchander</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/06/osr-alloy-wizard-civic-wizard-and.html">Potion Wizard</a>, former cook, former brewer, and current secretary to Doyle Wormsby. Can duplicate herself. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Doyle Wormsby</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/06/osr-alloy-wizard-civic-wizard-and.html">Civic Wizard</a>, Private Investigator. Truth before politics, payment before a case.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9gDnlstSmwOvXvvEVlfJz3J2epzr5qC87iXwvQfk2s8XaY_h_Y55XcE347wd5MTu8m_z53OIedWODC8I4lR2SUprHzJDNYuCzFBaEcXxIX3xrHjCLxdTExy9JTf3DlTPuzE-SRS2ExoqW9BFg27SZdpsIvHuoTTgRCz_vmth3d4MEbrjtRROalUmGtNM/s960/1554689555166.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="864" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9gDnlstSmwOvXvvEVlfJz3J2epzr5qC87iXwvQfk2s8XaY_h_Y55XcE347wd5MTu8m_z53OIedWODC8I4lR2SUprHzJDNYuCzFBaEcXxIX3xrHjCLxdTExy9JTf3DlTPuzE-SRS2ExoqW9BFg27SZdpsIvHuoTTgRCz_vmth3d4MEbrjtRROalUmGtNM/w576-h640/1554689555166.jpg" width="576" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.artstation.com/burda">Alejandro Burdisio</a></td></tr></tbody></table><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Amateur Aeronautics Society <br /></span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">George Miles had gifted two Miras to the Iron Spike Thaumaturgy Company to secure their support for his flying vehicle. One Mira was a new off-the-shelf model, but the second was George's personal vehicle, donated on short notice. Doyle checked the glovebox, reasoning that George Miles may have left secret documents inside. He stacked receipts, invoices, and discarded toffee wrappers in a pile for Jonty. At the very back of the compartment, Doyle discovered an old iconograph.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Judging by its faded texture and blurry edges, it was taken at least ten years ago. Its contents staggered Doyle. He dropped a lit cigarette onto the upholstery and stared. Eight wizards in a formal line stared back. They were:<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">1. George Miles. The "Mira", a shortened form of "Miles' Moving Miracle" or a "car" short for "careening wildly through the sky" promised to revolutionize transport in Endon. Perhaps Miles had another revolution in mind.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">2. Uriah Shambledrake Senior. Tom's late uncle. <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/08/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">Possibly involved in necromancy</a>, possibly involved in The Project, possibly not dead at all. His corpse wasn't in the family mausoleum at Shambledrake Manor, his signet ring was missing, and he'd died under extremely mysterious circumstances. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">3. & 4. Doyle didn't recognize the next two people, but from family resemblance, age, and dress, reasoned were Tom's late lamented parents Clarence and Dorothy Shambledrake. They'd died in two separate lightning-related hot air balloon accidents in Tom's early teens, allegedly, steering Tom towards a life of lightning wizardry as a form of revenge. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">5. Professor Tallerand. <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/09/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">Disgraced biomancer</a>, confirmed necromancer and orphan-harvester, and one of the leaders of <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/12/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">The Project</a>. Probably involved in the revolution, or at least the Mechanics' Societies.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">6. Edward Konivov. Time wizard. Workshop sealed in a stasis sphere. <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/05/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">Left other stasis spheres with dates inside in the catacombs all over Endon</a>. Definitely involved in The Project and the revolution, definitely knows about Uriah Shambledrake Junior. Madder than a crate of ferrets.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">7. A well dressed young man Doyle did not recognize. He squinted at the face, trying to extract details from its blurry wry smile. Expensive clothes and a hint of hereditary authority suggested nobility.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">8. The final figure was slightly shabbily dressed in the manner of wizards in the middle of hard work. Scuffed boots, a waterproof hat. Doyle recognized the compass and stone charms on the wizard's belt as the charms of a geomancer.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The background, as far as Doyle could tell, featured a hill and some sort of ruined stone building. "Countryside," he muttered. He didn't trust it. The country was full of hedges and sheep and people with novelty accents. No pavement, no dark alleys, and no informants. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Tom," Doyle said, handing him the iconograph. "Explain."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom stared and spluttered. "I... I don't think I can! Those are my parents, there's Uncle Uriah... but they <i>knew</i> Tallerand and Konivov? And <i>George Miles!?</i>"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"So it would seem. The back of the photograph says this is the 'Amateur Aeronautics Society of Endon'."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I vaguely remember my parents talking about that," Tom said morosely.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Do you remember anything else? 'Hello son, just popping down to visit the Society of Evil Wizards, be back shortly.' That sort of thing?" Doyle said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom searched his memory, revisiting his happy and unremarkable childhood, and the somber scenes of his parents' deaths, with growing concern. "I think there's something wrong with my brain," he said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"You can't remember your childhood?" Doyle replied.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"No, I can, but it's all... strange."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Strange how?" Doyle said, frustrated by Tom's lack of introspection.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Ton flailed wildly. "Strange as in strange!" he said. "I can't explain it!"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Damn. Another dead end." Doyle lit his fourth pre-breakfast cigarette and concentrated on the iconograph. "I bet the illusionists can do something with this. If an icongraph is the image of reality fixed in time by magical means, they should be able to make it more... more big. Like using the hair of a suspect to <i>scry</i> for them."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Do you think so?" Tom asked, wishing <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/08/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake_10.html">Haze Palewolf</a>, his childhood friend, was still alive.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Doyle shrugged. "Probably. It's worth a try."</span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The Thaumograph Exploder<br /></span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It is possible," Professor Galbraith (Illusions and Figments) mumbled, examining the iconograph. "Experimental, of course. And slightly dangerous. Did anyone in this image die a violent and unnatural death? Apart from Professor Tallerand, I mean. Assassinated by some of his own students, I heard. Something about necromancy. Any others?" </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom grimaced. "Ah. Well. At least three others. Fire, lightning, and lightning."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Relatives?" the professor said blandly. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"All three."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"This may be an indelicate question, but did you... facilitate any of those deaths? I ask only to ensure your safety."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Of course not!" Tom said. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I had to ask. You see, some primitive foreigners, present company excepted," he said, looking at Dr. Hartwell, "believe that an iconograph captures the soul of its subject. This is nonsense of course."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Of course," Tom said reflexively. "Ha ha."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"But it does capture an echo, the faintest possible echo, of the soul. It can hardly do otherwise. Thaumic field theory, you see. As light passes through the soul's resonant envelope, it... well, never mind."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Yes, never mind."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"In case of violent death and, err, murder," Professor Galbraith said, "we sometimes find that the enhanced icongraphic view creates disturbing images for the viewer. Words like 'haunting' and 'nightmare' are loaded terms. If you experience a... visitation, try to remember that it is not your dead relatives speaking, but only their thaumic echo. Any exhortations towards revenge, complaints about your lifestyle, et cetera, can be safely ignored."<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Doyle interrupted. "Alright professor, set up your highly dangerous experimental iconograph exploder. Tick tock, we're on the clock."<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Remember, whatever you see is almost certainty not physically present," the assistant said. "Keep your limbs inside the designated area. Try not to move quickly, unless there is an emergency, in which case move as quickly as possible towards the exit."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"How will we know if there's an emergency?" Dr. Hartwell asked.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"You'll know," the assistant said, closing the door. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"How does this thing work again?" Lizzy asked.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Professor Galbraith said it passes eight colours of very strong light through the icongraph while it's in a high magic field, and then projects the resulting image at us. That's the glowing prism down there," Tom said, pointing at one wall.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Why are the walls covered in lead foil?" </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Shielding," Tom said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Why did Professor Galbraith leave the building and walk briskly to the other side of campus?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"He said he had an urgent appointment." <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"And why is there a drain in the floor?" </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The rest of the group looked at the floor for the first time, noticing the scorch marks, drain, and chalked warding sigils.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It's... awfully damp in Endon?" Tom said. "Oh bother."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Spectrumation in three, two, one..." a muffled voice said through the door.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Planes of burning light slammed through the assembled PCs, revealing, after a few moments of flickering and buzzing, the iconographic image, expanded to fill the room. It was as if they were <i>in </i>the scene, seeing it as the iconographer would have seen it... on a very foggy day and after a few glasses of brandy.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Are they moving?" Dr. Hartwell said, pointing at the flickering figures of the eight wizards.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Very slowly, I think. It's like we're seeing the instant the iconograph was taken, expanded in time and space," Tom mused aloud. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Your parents appear to be in some distress," Dr. Hartwell said. "And oh look, your uncle Uriah has caught fire." </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"As expected," Tom shrugged.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Look at the building behind the menacing figure and burning ghosts," Dr. Hartwell said. "It's much clearer now. Doyle?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It's some sort of abbey or monastery," the detective said, squinting.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"That man is moving much faster than the others," Lizzy said, pointing at the unidentified nobleman. "Oh look, he's speeding up."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I think he can see us," Doyle said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"That's impossible!" Tom said, without much conviction.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I do not like the way he is smiling," Dr. Hartwell said. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"He is <i>definitely </i>looking at us. And he's gone all fizzy around the edges." Lizzy whispered.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Stop the machine!" Tom yelled. "I want to get off!"</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigiS2Gha1gDbg-WwYmjcdJI0hitHcDzq8_3LncQ4PTubWdGQxDwQfTl8kKsl2vCdFmZEhgj1qJKeX41IMaXzXMn_TTgamONF3xiumy_EpWJMvIDLjol1I55_raAi_wlsEH76y4iN4jUvVoLUQxHYapNu1OnFO4tCRi4d2P6QS5Z0TVoJuL5YiO9XrgDgA/s915/1413769773347.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="915" data-original-width="640" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigiS2Gha1gDbg-WwYmjcdJI0hitHcDzq8_3LncQ4PTubWdGQxDwQfTl8kKsl2vCdFmZEhgj1qJKeX41IMaXzXMn_TTgamONF3xiumy_EpWJMvIDLjol1I55_raAi_wlsEH76y4iN4jUvVoLUQxHYapNu1OnFO4tCRi4d2P6QS5Z0TVoJuL5YiO9XrgDgA/w448-h640/1413769773347.jpg" width="448" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Horrible Sobriety <br /></span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"So what have we learned?" Lizzy asked excitedly.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Almost nothing," Doyle replied. "That toff vanished from the iconograph. He's gone. Evaporated. So we can't even show people his face and ask 'have you seen this man' because he's not there."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I heard of a wizard who painted a magic portrait of himself," Lizzy
said conspiratorially. "As he got older and older the portrait stayed
the same age! Oooh! Spooky!" <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Didn't you make a copy?" Tom said, ignoring Lizzy's inane prattle.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I did. And he's vanished from the copies too."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"That's... not comforting," Dr. Hartwell said. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I fear we're meddling with things we shouldn't be meddling with," Tom said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"You've only just noticed?" Dr. Hartwell said, aghast.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Well, more than usual, I mean."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"But do you remember anything else? Anything about the Amateur Aeronautics Society? That building? The unknown figures?" Doyle pressed.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"No! Nothing! If only I could sort out these tangled threads of memory!" Tom cried. "If only there was some way to..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Significantly boost your intelligence, insight, and problem-solving ability?" Lizzy said, her eyes shining. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"That, yes."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Lizzy..." Dr. Hartwell cautioned, but it was too late.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"<b>Because I can!</b> I've been working on a potion... well it's more of a spell turned into a potion... that, I think, if I get it right, will let you do..." she said, gesticulating wildly, "all the brain things. You know."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It's not that SpaceBeans coffee, is it?" Dr. Hartwell said. Lizzy was showing signs of Tower Madness, or something like it.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Not even close!" Lizzy said excitedly. "It's much better!"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Lizzy's explained that she had a spell called <i><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/06/osr-alloy-wizard-civic-wizard-and.html">horrible sobriety</a>. </i>When cast normally, the spell provided a legendarily sharp-edged view of reality. Sobriety was a spectrum, Lizzy explained. Most people are a little bit drunk all the time, even without alcohol, but <i>horrible sobriety</i> pushed a neutral or positive value deep into the negatives. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">But this alone didn't justify Lizzy's dramatic hand gestures. She planned to <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/06/osr-alloy-wizard-civic-wizard-and.html"><i>potionify</i></a> the spell, turning it into a drinkable liquid, then enhance that potion with herbs, spices... and a jolt of raw magic. "Normally this only works on potions I drink," Lizzy said, "but I <i>think</i> I can get it to work on anyone." Lizzy didn't mention that ooze-based abuse of the <i>duplicate self</i> spell had left her with a fluid definition of "self". All the best artists put a little of themselves into their work.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I want no part in this," Dr. Hartwell said. "I am going to a nice quiet library to investigate that building."<br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Side Note: "Abbeys of Endon, Volume One AA-AB, Volume Two AC-Z" is possibly my
favourite ever player-created off-the-cuff joke. I'm <i>proud </i>of this
group.</span></blockquote><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRfaIIUkIgT_wl2p6d49SwFBxNt-ApmL0PPR7hVfsKSaLct5Fe6lQbp3Rj_IwR5bextasCaZGix9tjGoH9aspRe6V9L7epV2vWxPqRWGgowYRE1VnCoaLhbPSDH5R3MMN6F_R6IEXPSkTs9YDpQFl6YQslvmfxCmUS-DXF7aT0A3W3sQkfYzWlWFv_/s1275/mingchen-shen-greek-dolorouseidolonshow1.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1275" data-original-width="1080" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRfaIIUkIgT_wl2p6d49SwFBxNt-ApmL0PPR7hVfsKSaLct5Fe6lQbp3Rj_IwR5bextasCaZGix9tjGoH9aspRe6V9L7epV2vWxPqRWGgowYRE1VnCoaLhbPSDH5R3MMN6F_R6IEXPSkTs9YDpQFl6YQslvmfxCmUS-DXF7aT0A3W3sQkfYzWlWFv_/w542-h640/mingchen-shen-greek-dolorouseidolonshow1.jpg" width="542" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mingchen Shen</td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The next morning, the group assembled in one of the Iron Spike's workshops.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I have discovered the identity of the building in the background of the iconograph," Dr. Hartwell said, with dark circles under his eyes.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Is it Scythrop Abbey?" Doyle replied, equally tired.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"How did you figure it out?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Went to the Auld Grey Cathedral and asked Deacon Prutt, who handles the records and land transfers. He didn't want to talk about it until I mentioned the whole parliament exploding teleportation thing. Then he became <i>very </i>talkative."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"So you discovered the identities of the other people in the image?" Tom said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"No. Well, yes and no. Maybe. Our vanishing friend also has an evaporating signature, which caught fire when we did the experiment with the iconograph. The other wizard might be Professor Morwent, a geomancer and 'dimensional analyst', whatever that is, who vanished some years ago. Also, Scythrop Abbey is allegedly haunted. And another thing, we should definitely investigate the alchemists. They're up to something."<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Wonderful," Dr. Hartwell said. "And now Tom, against all medical advice, is going to drink <i>that</i>."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It's fine!" Lizzy said. The potion glowed the ominous purple-blue of extremely strong magical radiation hitting water and trying to turn it into plasma. Ingredients included, but were not limited to, coca leaf, toad glands, kerosene, essence of tea, and a pinch of hideously expensive monoatomic saffron powder. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It's in an ice bath and it's capped with lead solder."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It's full of nutrients!"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Oh just give me the damn potion," Tom said, putting on asbestos gloves. "If I die... try to figure all this out. It's a terrible mess." <br /></span></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Side Note: </b>the Potion Wizard has a cantrip that lets them "Spend 1 MD to double the duration of a potion you drink, or double its numerical effects (HP healed, damage reduce, etc.)" Foolishly, or perhaps wisely, I did not cap this doubling. And Lizzy has access to a Gargantuan Magic Battery and nearly unlimited MD. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Thankfully, she decided two doublings was enough. <i>Horrible sobriety</i> merely gave Tom a +16 to Intelligence and Wisdom for the potion's duration. While stats in the GLOG are capped at 20, bonuses are not capped. Imagine how much alcohol someone would have to drink to be to get a -16 to Int and Wis. Then, imagine the opposite of that. <br /></span></p></blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi835aBfrBaPIjVccIqoeGKSK-1OFlxve_FRzQf4toqMdYcThasiK6MhMQYYuT8v787YNYxZI4eVNxdjj9kVNQ5vXZwN6egSHo8QO3mpSpb1VCAgq_jVGtW32r67kJW2AprKDzGk9YZLQgs-WRn6sSUILbDpm5pNfzL595f_pdga1CKphDL0B5j_b8W/s640/cat-transcendance.gif" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi835aBfrBaPIjVccIqoeGKSK-1OFlxve_FRzQf4toqMdYcThasiK6MhMQYYuT8v787YNYxZI4eVNxdjj9kVNQ5vXZwN6egSHo8QO3mpSpb1VCAgq_jVGtW32r67kJW2AprKDzGk9YZLQgs-WRn6sSUILbDpm5pNfzL595f_pdga1CKphDL0B5j_b8W/w400-h400/cat-transcendance.gif" width="400" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom shot past sober, shattered the <a href="https://wiki.lspace.org/Knurd">knurd barrier</a>, caught a gravity assist off the <a href="https://hitchhikers.fandom.com/wiki/Total_Perspective_Vortex">total perspective vortex</a>, went mad, went sane, felt every cell in his body fizz and boil, and, for the first time, saw the true nature of the universe. He didn't like it. Wizards are trained to resist ego death, and Tom's ego was the equivalent of a neutron star. He stared into the abyss, saw it stare back, poked it in the eye, and turned his attention to more pressing matters.</span><p><span style="font-family: arial;">For a few long seconds, all he could do was suffer. This wasn't a hangover. It was worse. It was a perpetual hang-<span><span class="AraNOb">somersault</span></span>. He felt like he'd aged a thousand years. Every sound was discordant agony. Every heartbeat tore him apart. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Tom?" Dr. Hartwell said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom tried to say, <i>"Gods and devils, Augustus! I have two sets of memories! I remember being raised by my mother and, separately, by my father. And Uriah Shambledrake moves between these two sets of memories like an instrument in a fugue, bouncing between two voices, never at home in either. What am I? Who am I? Was I copied, cloned? From what evil mixture was I compounded? And why? I remember their deaths, separately, and being comforted by the other parent, separately! When did I merge? Are any of these memories real? </i><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>The crossover date can't be the only date of the balloon accident that I remember, the nineteenth of Malbrogia, or I wouldn't have memories of either parent after that date, and I do. What happened then? Was it really two separate balloon accidents, one accident doubled, or a balloon accident at all?<br /></i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Does it have something to do with time travel? </i><i>Who is Uriah Shambledrake Junior? Is he Uncle Uriah travelling backwards in
time? Is he the origin of my doubled memories? Is he me travelling back in
time to undo my current mistakes? </i><i>Did Konivov travel back in time before we met him for the first time? He didn't recognize me when we met but he could have lied. Why didn't George Miles recognize me, or the name Shamebledrake? Or did he? Was he hoping for a sign, a clue, an invitation? Damn damn damn, I don't have enough information. I can see the edges of the puzzle pieces I have and they don't fit together."</i><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Unfortunately, Tom's mind was moving far, far faster than his mouth and vocal cords, so instead he made a high-pitched keening noise while staring straight ahead. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I think it worked," Lizzy said. "His hat's on fire."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Dr. Hartwell gave her a withering look.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Octarine discharge," she explained. "He's thinking so many thoughts at once that he's creating a massive thaumic differential. It's why wizards wear pointy hats. Acts like the wick in a candle," Lizzy said, grinning. "Sends the heat from a brainstorm upwards."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The good doctor had seen the phenomenon before, and even experienced it during particularly intense periods of study, but usually it was a faint glow of fragmented light. The top of Tom's head looked like a blowtorch made of diamond fireworks, and the light it shed cast unnatural and writhing shadows. "You consider that a <i>good </i>sign?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It sure beats exploding," Lizzy said. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"</span><span style="font-family: courier;">NeedtoseeGeorgeMiles</span><span style="font-family: arial;">," Tom buzzed, standing up suddenly and more-or-less flinging himself towards the door.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Miles? Oh damn, he's going for the Moving Miracle!" Doyle said. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"</span><span style="font-family: courier;">GetinthebackoftheMira!</span><span style="font-family: arial;">" Tom shrieked.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"You don't know how to fly this thing!" Doyle yelled. Tom glared at him briefly, swatted open the glovebox, extracted the manual, flipped through it, and tossed it over his shoulder. Doyle reached out, grabbed it, and started reading frantically. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"</span><span style="font-family: courier;">Donowhangonthreetwoone,</span><span style="font-family: arial;">" he said, and firmly grasped the control levers.<br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh_tjvgUgC4yHtwERJHCjkFGQQ6prXqyQW4Rt9XmA3XDtFYqS0TIeDYBDxdGIN-M4kaHpn7gww4lGD7_RlUMSiDTEgcVuYleAOVS81RHtQ0CXGEekbc91EX0-UXDwNOEi2_M_F-aCOECu3Kp_l12V7F4vVfYpiCNTCYf6Td9LqAiiphtptQvOr-liF/s720/car-chase-gang.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="524" data-original-width="720" height="466" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh_tjvgUgC4yHtwERJHCjkFGQQ6prXqyQW4Rt9XmA3XDtFYqS0TIeDYBDxdGIN-M4kaHpn7gww4lGD7_RlUMSiDTEgcVuYleAOVS81RHtQ0CXGEekbc91EX0-UXDwNOEi2_M_F-aCOECu3Kp_l12V7F4vVfYpiCNTCYf6Td9LqAiiphtptQvOr-liF/w640-h466/car-chase-gang.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Endon's First Car Chase <br /></span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Mira leapt upwards. Lizzy whooped with delight. Dr. Hartwell felt his breakfast drop towards his knees, then rebound to what felt like the top of his head. Doyle closed his eyes and braced for death.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"We're flying!" Lizzy said. "You can see the whole city from up here! We must be a hundred feet in the air!"<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I don't <i>want</i> to see the whole city from up here," Dr. Hartwell moaned. "If I wanted to see the whole city I can look from the Iron Spike."<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"</span><span style="font-family: courier;">Adjustangleandincination,</span><span style="font-family: arial;">" Tom said, pulling a few more levers. The Mira gently wobbled and began to glide forward. "</span><span style="font-family: courier;">Ccelerting.</span><span style="font-family: arial;">" </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"No accelerating!" Dr. Hartwell yelled, but it was too late. Confident in his newfound potion-induced omniscience, Tom pulled another lever and sent the Mira rocketing forward. Dr. Hartwell's breakfast, which had just returned to its accustomed abode, tried to escape through his spine. Doyle's hat nearly escaped, but he rammed it onto his head with one hand while gripping the Mira's wooden trim with the other.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"What is that?" Lizzy said, pointing over the plush leather seat of the ungainly vehicle. "It's an eclipse of the sun!"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"<i>Not good," </i>Doyle muttered. Dr. Hartwell thought darkly of <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/05/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake_8.html">the rat in his basement</a>, the polymorphed Monarch of Endon kidnapped and anointed by the sapient rats of Endon. Eclipses were said to herald the death of kings.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"And what's that!?" Lizzy said, pointing at a spreading wedge of darkness rising from the north. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The wizards not currently steering an experimental magical flying contraption peered at the apparition. It was a dark shadow, a wedge cut in the fading sunlight, as if a giant tower was rising over Endon, and yet nothing appeared to cast the shadow. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It's a man on a broomstick!" Doyle said. "And he's got an axe."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"</span><span style="font-family: courier;">Blackglass?</span><span style="font-family: arial;">" Tom said, turning to look. Uriah Shambledrake Junior, it was said, carried an axe of black glass.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The figure speeding towards the car was not straddling the broomstick, but standing atop it, feet apart. It carried an axe of black glass, an axe that trailed darkness like a cloak. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It's Uriah Shambledrake..." Lizzy started to say. Dr. Hartwell made an anguished noise before she could say "Junior." The name of this mysterious figure seemed to conjure thunder, and the Mira felt dreadfully exposed.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Accelerate!" Dr. Hartwell said, as the figure drew closer. Tom slammed the lever forward. Eight moveable rods at the back of the Mira fired at once, launching the vehicle forward with an eyeball-compressing jolt.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"We must be going twenty miles an hour!" Lizzy said breathlessly. "Or even <i>thirty.</i>"<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"And <i>he! Is going! Faster!" </i>Dr. Hartwell said. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Aaa!" Lizzy said, and cast <i>inebriate</i>. Her mutated version of the spell was predatory, and Uriah Shambledrake Jr's layed of mage armour detonated like glass flower petals. Moments later, his broomstick slammed
into the side of the Mira. All Doyle could look at was his eyes, his
burning red eyes... identical in every way to Tom's. Uriah swung his axe
at Tom's neck, burying the blade nine inches into the back of the seat and slicing a chunk off Tom's shoulder.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"One or none!" he screamed, in a voice full of otherworldly rage.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom's thoughts moved at a hundred times normal speed. He was arguably most intelligent human being in the city, and possibly in history. Unfortunately, Tom's metabolism moved at normal speed. His overheating brain had sucked his reserves dry, and now, in a moment of mortal crisis, it simply gave up. Tom slumped forward. His vice-like grip on the controls fell away.<br /></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Side Note: <i>Horrible sobriety</i> has a cost: 1 non-lethal damage per Int or Wis roll. And Initiative, rolled each round, uses Wisdom. I could have ruled that Lizzy's doubling effect also doubled the non-lethal damage, but I didn't think of it at the time. Tom started the day with 20 HP. He is a beefy wizard.<br /></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Tom!" Dr. Hartwell shouted, slapping the back of the wizard's head and digging in his bag for smelling salts. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Doyle swore, drew his umbrella, hooked the curved end Uriah's axe, and yanked it out of the cloaked figure's hand. Then, with a flourish, he drew his <i>truncheon of locking</i>. He struck Uriah on the ankle and the truncheon transformed into a pair of manacles... with a gravity-based enchantment added by Chastity Flintwich. Uriah looked briefly surprised. Then the enchantment caught and yanked him downwards with the force of a falling anvil. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Uriah's sudden departure swung the rear of the Mira down, pointing its nose at the sky. The vehicle began to gain altitude rapidly. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Assisted by Dr. Hartwell's smelling salts and medical slaps, Tom lurched back into consciousness, accelerated directly into hyperconciousness, and swung the Mira around in a wild roll. "</span><span style="font-family: courier;">Gottolosealtitude,</span><span style="font-family: arial;">" Tom said. "</span><span style="font-family: courier;">I'll try to put us... down... a street,</span><span style="font-family: arial;">" he muttered, as he passed out again.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Dr. Hartwell groaned. The maneuver put the car on the same course as Uriah Shambledrake's plummeting body. He cast <i>cure wounds</i> to haul Tom back into the waking world, even though he knew it was only temporary. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Black bats, or things that resembled bats, burst from Uriah Shambledrake Junior. Some gripped his cloak and arms. With his legs still locked in the Doyle's gravity shackles, he landed upright on Gaumdart Ave. Endon's citizens scattered like mice before the thresher. Uriah raised his hands and the bats flew towards the Mira.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Up close, they were clearly not bats. They were bags of black flesh, tar, and teeth, and they latched onto the car's inhabitants with ravenous hunger. Doyle and Lizzy caught mild bites, but Tom, who couldn't cower behind the windscreen, caught a bat on the arm. It chewed into him with a noise like a sausage grinder, sending flakes of bone and spurts of blood across Doyle's coat. Tom screamed and passed out again.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Get off you bastard!" Doyle said, hitting the bat with his umbrella until it burst.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Can you land this thing?" Dr. Hartwell shouted.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I'll try!" Doyle examined the forest of unlabelled levers, found one he vaguely remembered from the manual, and yanked it. The Mira pitched downward. The front skids hit the rough cobbles of Gaumdart Avenue and sent up a spray of sparks before one jutting stone caught the skid and flipped the vehicle like a tossed toy.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Dr. Hartwell found himself, still in a sitting position, flying through the air about ten feet off the ground. He sighed, cast <i>polymorph</i>, and selected a combat-capable flying humanoid creature to minimize the risk of systemic shock. Dr. Hartwell turned into a Harpy. Thanks to a casting mishap, he left his shed skin, clothes, and tools behind, but he didn't need them. He had <i>claws</i>. He tucked in his wings, extended his natural weapons, and performed a diving fly-by attack on Uriah Shambledrake Junior.... though he spent the next few seconds trying to figure out how to reverse.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Lizzy was also flung from the Mira, but elected to hit the ground and roll instead of turning into a "nude woman of the feathered persuasion" as the papers later described the creature seen on Gaumdart Ave. She dislocated her shoulder and acquired more bruises than a crate of wiggled pears, but she stood up in a fighting mood. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Doyle clung to his seat, upside-down, as the Mira hurtled towards Uriah Shambledrake Junior. <i>The bastard is smiling</i>, he thought. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">With a wave of his hand, Uriah created a <i>wall of force</i> on Gaumdart Ave. The Mira, flying upside-down and sideways, hurled towards it at the unbelievable speed of twenty miles an hour. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Doyle sighed. "Fuck you and the broomstick you rode in on," he said, and cast <i>reciprocal teleport. </i>He swapped Tom for Uriah, then closed his eyes and braced for the crash.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom, still unconscious, landed gently on the street, surrounded by bits of the Mira's control system.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Uriah didn't have time to react before the Mira pancaked itself against the invisible<i> wall of force </i>blocking the avenue. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Doyle!" Lizzy screamed as she sprinted towards Endon's first automobile wreck. She drew her magical kitchen knife just in case.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Dr. Hartwell, after figuring out how his wings worked, landed next to the tangled mass of wood, metal, and flesh. Lizzy hurled aside bits of bonnet and upholstery to reveal the body of Uriah Shambledrake Junior. She stabbed it discreetly a few times, then turned to search for Doyle. She found him under the remains of the back seat.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Had it," he gurgled. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It's not so bad," Lizzy said reassuringly. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Can't be fixed," the detective said soothingly. "You'd never get the ribs right."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I'm sure Dr. Hartwell can get you nice new ribs," she said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"What does Dr. Hartwell know about mending umbrellas?" Doyle coughed.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Umbrellas?" </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Doyle shifted in the wreckage and produced the tragic remains of his rapier-umbrella combo. "It's past hope," he said morosely. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Lizzy spluttered in agitation. "But are <i>you </i>alright?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I'll live. Nothing a few plasters can't mend." Doyle crawled out of the wreck, </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Dr. Hartwell examined the detective's leg, gave an avian shrug, and hopped over to Tom. The lightning wizard's condition was much more serious. The bat had chewed off his arm, and, Dr. Hartwell was surprised to discover, a fair portion of his face. Tom was bleeding freely and still breathing, which was a good sign. On the other hand, Dr. Hartwell didn't have opposable thumbs. He tried to communicate this to Lizzy with a few croaked words.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Trollblood? Trollblood." Lizzy said, nodding, and pulled a vial of the black viscous liquid from her handbag. "I'll just pour some on this... stump area." Dr. Hartwell sighed and covered his eyes. At least Lizzy had a demonstration model of the Troll Centrifuge back at the lab.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom sprouted a new, muscular, and significantly larger troll-like arm, and also grew an grim yellow troll-like eye. His hair turned black and quill-like, and warts spread from the wounds like lichens on old stone. He sat up, the auroral cone of intense wizard thought erupted from his skull. Dr. Hartwell honked in dismay and flapped off.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"</span><span style="font-family: courier;">Xplain,</span><span style="font-family: arial;">" Tom buzzed.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Trollblood fixed you. Uriah's dead. The eclipse is still on," Lizzy said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"</span><span style="font-family: courier;">Repose,</span><span style="font-family: arial;">" Tom said, pointing at Uriah's body, "</span><span style="font-family: courier;">then backSpike.</span><span style="font-family: arial;">"<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Lizzy thought about it, flipped open her spellbook/cookbook, peeled open the secret page at the back, and cast <i>gentle repose</i> on Uriah Shambledrake Jr.'s corpse. <i>It's not necromancy, </i>she thought, <i>it's Fourth Aid. Or what comes before Fourth Aid."</i><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"That ought to hold his soul," she said smugly. "Oh bugger, I'm melting! I'm meeeelting!" Whether from ooze-based <i>duplicate self</i> experiments or a Potion Wizard mishap, Lizzy liquefied.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Well don't just stand there," she gurgled at a bystander. "Get a bucket."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In retrospect, Lizzy admitted that keeping three cakes of raw opium and an the mostly empty vial of trollblood in her apron was a mistake. Her liquefied body absorbed the lightly wrapped narcotics and the dregs of the trollblood, as well as a healthy pint of Endon's street sweepings. The effects mostly cancelled each other out. "I don't feel so good," she murmured. "I think I will have a little sleep." Gurgling snores echoed across the avenue.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Doyle constructed a crutch out of a fender and hobbled over to the crowd of bystanders. "A cab," he shouted, and, with the unerring luck of a Civic Wizard, a cab appeared.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Everybody in," he said, gesturing vaguely at the debris and mayhem. "To the Iron Spike. One private investigator, one Tom Shambledrake, one liquid secretary, one Harpy, one corpse. No stops, no questions. Big tip."</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnMHYz9mjHOVA7BL_vLdIGdck68CThwNAS7bZnbS-DOe80M9X4mg7xcDaAU5PyTaxf1xL-WNwG-3Tj9b3psKEhRE8ADim4eOJjWrU_a0lf2XMbDfDHudPNkVpTWN9fyfZK0sWqwAyZGQ_90wUMYZo3VW_af8CHpwNPVDAGD4RKowDLUy-tqHG3woL5quc/s1280/tumblr_e3625c639ecec0ffeb05a6788acd2e99_34b5f219_1280.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="790" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnMHYz9mjHOVA7BL_vLdIGdck68CThwNAS7bZnbS-DOe80M9X4mg7xcDaAU5PyTaxf1xL-WNwG-3Tj9b3psKEhRE8ADim4eOJjWrU_a0lf2XMbDfDHudPNkVpTWN9fyfZK0sWqwAyZGQ_90wUMYZo3VW_af8CHpwNPVDAGD4RKowDLUy-tqHG3woL5quc/w396-h640/tumblr_e3625c639ecec0ffeb05a6788acd2e99_34b5f219_1280.jpg" width="396" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://newjackcole.tumblr.com/about">Jack T. Cole</a><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><h3><span style="font-family: arial;">The Sarcophagus</span></h3><h3><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Before the potion wore off, Tom grabbed his spellbook, aimed <i>control metal</i> at a pile of scrap iron in the yard of the Iron Spike, and constructed an iron mauseoleum for the body of Uriah Shambledrake Junior. His magic-addled mind could see the flow of energy and calculate thaumic vertices with inhuman precision. The inside of the building resembled the outside of a sea urchin or an archaic torture device, but it would, Tom assured the group later, create an impenetrable magical barrier. Nothing could get in and nothing, souls included, could get out.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"But <i>why?</i>" Dr. Hartwell asked.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom thought for a moment. It had all seemed so clear at the time. He'd felt like a god. Now, his brain felt like soggy bread. "It seemed very important at the time. I'm sure I had a good reason."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Why did Uriah Shambledrake Junior attack? Who is he, and who is Tom? What was the Amateur Aeronautics Society? Who is the vanishing figure, and why did he vanish? Who killed Uriah Shambledrake Senior?</span></p>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-59110593279286651462023-05-24T08:28:00.003-06:002023-05-24T08:31:35.450-06:00OSR: Class: Speed Demon<p><span style="font-family: arial;">Some people think devils turn up in cool cars. They are complete wrong. Cool cars create devils. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It doesn't start immediately with the invention of the motorized carriage, or your setting's equivalent. Uncomfortable, slow, rattling machines simply won't do. They need to reach a certain level of development. The moment someone adds chrome to a car, or uses one to flee the scene of a crime, the gate opens, and the devils creep in.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhx5V5IlNXo9z_lbqm1whM0m9IPNSHyTh0lkXQcBAE9tJffWpxR_1QuMsf3FlYmVxrsMlDnanonrVozDekCWowXTHSNA8vX6UayNQXfHmtgEVea9YmoinAeEWCT51zxRo8MUK3XHDgwBwdy5aEEzIqkuWi-09DacttDLc8n_rQVfni6631uIjG8H8J/s1024/8Dae.gif" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="432" data-original-width="1024" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhx5V5IlNXo9z_lbqm1whM0m9IPNSHyTh0lkXQcBAE9tJffWpxR_1QuMsf3FlYmVxrsMlDnanonrVozDekCWowXTHSNA8vX6UayNQXfHmtgEVea9YmoinAeEWCT51zxRo8MUK3XHDgwBwdy5aEEzIqkuWi-09DacttDLc8n_rQVfni6631uIjG8H8J/w640-h270/8Dae.gif" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">They whisper in the dreams of city planners, saying "just one more lane" and "expressway." They smell of gasoline and expensive hair oil and an unsustainably exciting lifestyle. They're actually as cool as middle-aged balding dentists and pimply teenagers imagine they could be, in the right car.<br /></span><p><span style="font-family: arial;">They are young (always older than the local kids, always younger than the people in power). They are cool in a way that's vaguely threatening. They act like they will never grow old and never die, because they never will.<br /></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOFfErCeMos5-h0mWgLLKZMBSdSNXvWl0GtY_VGl1IGm8Ts-jMu1WTwKMI0FkQlCxpEoMAb30AG3ND6H6Yc6IH6PQ2cPNCwNe_3A5kDU55w2BP1cZ5EjDYlOAGYhoabtLiV2Katf-mD9ToXAOugVTqO6gqt2Sao7t6iMIAjgE9IBwt1cW-BxHvmhjZ/s2321/1663036268.8197.5683_source.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1620" data-original-width="2321" height="446" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOFfErCeMos5-h0mWgLLKZMBSdSNXvWl0GtY_VGl1IGm8Ts-jMu1WTwKMI0FkQlCxpEoMAb30AG3ND6H6Yc6IH6PQ2cPNCwNe_3A5kDU55w2BP1cZ5EjDYlOAGYhoabtLiV2Katf-mD9ToXAOugVTqO6gqt2Sao7t6iMIAjgE9IBwt1cW-BxHvmhjZ/w640-h446/1663036268.8197.5683_source.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.oneletterwords.com/weblog/?id=81994" style="font-family: arial;">Oneletterwords</a><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Devils want to tempt you into sin (<a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2017/10/osr-only-good-demon-is-good-demon.html">allegedly</a>). That's their job. But these devils, when they can be bothered to talk, claim they're not that sort of devil. They aren't allegorical. They just <i>are</i>. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">And yet, when a car smashes into a lamppost, it's never a devil behind the wheel. Sure, the devil suggested the race.. or agreed to it... or at least gave you a significant look at the intersection... but that's just a coincidence. They didn't suggest you steal the car. They took that corner at the same speed as you; it's not their fault you lost control.</span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">Next moment, hardly knowing how it came
about, he found he had hold of the handle and
was turning it. As the familiar sound broke
forth, the old passion seized on Toad and completely
mastered him, body and soul. As if in
a dream he found himself, somehow, seated in
the driver's seat; as if in a dream, he pulled the
lever and swung the car round the yard and
out through the archway; and, as if in a dream,
all sense of right and wrong, all fear of obvious
consequences, seemed temporarily suspended.
He increased his pace, and as the car devoured
the street and leapt forth on the high road
through the open country, he was only conscious
that he was Toad once more, Toad at
his best and highest, Toad the terror, the traffic-queller,
the Lord of the lone trail, before whom
all must give way or be smitten into nothingness
and everlasting night. He chanted as he flew,
and the car responded with sonorous drone; the
miles were eaten up under him as he sped he
knew not whither, fulfilling his instincts, living
his hour, reckless of what might come to him.</span></blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">-<i>The Wind in the Willows</i>, Kenneth Grahame</span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><p><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQQza17YiciOOfhglnxX4IS1l_J-ET0KLVsqPln7Fzl11UyKWr2JMM9ZXfRy3_1zszzjkFBADjjDC6WN9Jr0OioFcduatALA8dQfT7ALe8e9jgtjWT3v8PMGy-QeA8M0at5G7tRNVSUw4uQhj3BEbXLEvNU1qD4KFr298UNgLEwCzTqHXe_GNwBp1t/s2614/tumblr_96fdab442d3fc5f38516a7affa64b5cc_6d1d2450_2048.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2614" data-original-width="1550" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQQza17YiciOOfhglnxX4IS1l_J-ET0KLVsqPln7Fzl11UyKWr2JMM9ZXfRy3_1zszzjkFBADjjDC6WN9Jr0OioFcduatALA8dQfT7ALe8e9jgtjWT3v8PMGy-QeA8M0at5G7tRNVSUw4uQhj3BEbXLEvNU1qD4KFr298UNgLEwCzTqHXe_GNwBp1t/w380-h640/tumblr_96fdab442d3fc5f38516a7affa64b5cc_6d1d2450_2048.jpg" width="380" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.tumblr.com/nyrafernvale/710165897812312064/another-tiefling-to-add-to-my-roster-3-her-name" style="font-family: arial;">nyrafernvale.tumblr.com</a></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2018/05/osr-revised-table-of-races-10-neural.html">Race</a>: Motor Car Devil</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">You have horns, and your skin is a shade normally associated with fruit, stone, or silk. You do not have a past.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Reroll:</b> DEX or CHA<br /><b>Bonus:</b> You take no damage from motor vehicle accidents. Your vehicle and passengers are still affected. You do not age.<br /><b>Weakness</b>: You must Save not to break a minor law (littering, smoking indoors, etc.) if the opportunity presents itself. You cannot harm the innocent (but you can allow them to come to harm). You cannot heal or rest on hallowed ground.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCZRTXwYE1_KoFxG03XXSK-Wk4cl3bPjOav7T1j--bqKymqRYrcndS2YtGJ7PKFsXmMwKSaXoUswisgbkxaiEbGmGXQltZOwtzSuSzVkzySGnwB8h4qBuh5fh-DNZ8G5pht6Csm_EM6DOgmT086E8mDAj6K4w3SxmZapu3sAuyGOo5z3Heykg2PxCT/s800/6300905vi-vi.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="530" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCZRTXwYE1_KoFxG03XXSK-Wk4cl3bPjOav7T1j--bqKymqRYrcndS2YtGJ7PKFsXmMwKSaXoUswisgbkxaiEbGmGXQltZOwtzSuSzVkzySGnwB8h4qBuh5fh-DNZ8G5pht6Csm_EM6DOgmT086E8mDAj6K4w3SxmZapu3sAuyGOo5z3Heykg2PxCT/w424-h640/6300905vi-vi.jpg" width="424" /></a></div><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Class: Speed Demon<br /></span></h2><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">By your nature or by choice, you've cut a deal with otherworldly powers for mastery of the road.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Starting Skill:</b> Lockpick<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">, Drive<br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: arial;">You gain +2 Save against mind-altering effects for each Speed Demon template you possess </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A: The Car, Dangerous Aura<br />B: Lit Fuse, Guilty Bystander<br />C: Redline, Hotwire</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">D: Immortal Engine, The Mercy Seat<br /></span></div><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A: The Car</span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">A sportier, sleeker, more dangerous version of the original vehicle. The exhaust makes a spectacular noise and, if you'd like, spits fire. The windows are tinted. You can turn any car into <i>The </i>Car by driving it at top speed. Ideally, you need to pass through a tunnel or shadowed area. A normal car goes in. The Car, lightly touched by the infernal powers, comes out (usually sideways, in a cloud of smoke).<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Car cannot be driven casually or safely. It has to push the limits of local traffic laws. Anyone can drive The Car, but it is clearly <i>yours</i>. You can only have one Car at a time. It's not mandatory to wreck the old one before you get a new one.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Car doesn't run on gasoline, coal, warpstone, or magic. It runs on souls. Gain 1 soul when you:</span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Kill a sufficiently wicked person.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Tempt a person into wickedness just before they die.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Win a wager for a person's soul. Races are traditional. <br /></span></li></ul><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Spend 1 soul to instantly:</span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Fix a flat tire, broken belt, or other fault. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Restore 25% of your The Car's HP.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Boost The Car's top speed by 10% for 30 minutes.</span></li></ul><p><span style="font-family: arial;">This ability works on motorcycles (of course) but not buses, vans, trains, or bicycles. It might work on helicopters and speedboats. It has to be <i>cool</i>. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">You can, in theory, buy souls from your local necromancer or other grisly source. They never burn as cleanly though.<br /></span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A: Dangerous Aura</span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">You generate a vague aura that threatens relationships, makes people question their sexuality, and gets blamed for the decline of civilization. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">If you maintain eye contact with a person, they must Save to remind you of a mundane duty (late rent, not smoking in the library, not walking on the grass). If they fail, they stutter and stop. This can get you out of a traffic ticket, but not off a murder charge.<br /></span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">B: Lit Fuse</span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">You are immune to fire damage. You can snap your fingers to create a candle-sized flame. You can choose to have The Car deal fire damage.<br /></span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">B: Guilty Bystander</span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">In the first round of combat, instead of rolling Initiative, you can choose to act last. If you do (after stubbing out a cigarette, removing your sunglasses, etc.) your first attack gets +2 to hit and deals +2 damage.</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW7VcF7KuRBO9oo3jWiaYpgjEGIDkFMfXxAPn7vJ-QH9IkrjsuMYcOE9dn-nlxRmSsZT3U1957CyBoz9MNZXP6gJH4T63yyww9Q00LL4D5fedTsbIvsc83xNNNJe_DigjwGZpDwJlVvP90o1PM4cbX-e7jp97ib2wg9vhmTCrq2pUDqNzV-uLyDXtn/s900/lea-bichlmaier-vave-val-phone-wallpaper-ratio.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="874" data-original-width="900" height="622" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW7VcF7KuRBO9oo3jWiaYpgjEGIDkFMfXxAPn7vJ-QH9IkrjsuMYcOE9dn-nlxRmSsZT3U1957CyBoz9MNZXP6gJH4T63yyww9Q00LL4D5fedTsbIvsc83xNNNJe_DigjwGZpDwJlVvP90o1PM4cbX-e7jp97ib2wg9vhmTCrq2pUDqNzV-uLyDXtn/w640-h622/lea-bichlmaier-vave-val-phone-wallpaper-ratio.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.artstation.com/jeleynai">Jeleynai</a></td></tr></tbody></table><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">C: Redline</span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Spend 1 soul to let The Car do something impossible. Make that corner. Drive through three lanes of bumper-to-bumper oncoming traffic. Smash through a concrete wall without cracking a headlamp.</span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">C: Hotwire</span></h3><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Vehicles are never locked for you, and you can start them by connecting two convenient wires. This includes implausible vehicles, like bucketwheel excavators and UFOs. <br /></span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">D: Immortal Engine<br /></span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Car cannot be reduced below 1 HP as long as it is moving at a dangerous speed. It might be mostly smoke, sparks, and splinters, but it <i>will</i> keep going. Track excess damage. The moment it stops, all excess damage is applied to The Car (usually causing it to disintegrate). </span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">D: The Mercy Seat</span></h3><p><span style="font-family: arial;">If you can see The Car, Fatal Wounds do not knock you unconscious. If you are in the driver's seat of The Car, you can spend 1 soul to remove 1d3 Fatal Wounds, remove 3 negative HP, or heal 6 HP.<br /></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_Y0LDmF7Fykx_hP50w0JaefomiTewYs46SbyyKz5rUZFyzynwl9tpICcTWtl76ZxHkKXnveTcuAjYbqPJ2JFO_ANrwpv34cY8sydvi67JYVNku6Djnn_fzYG__LgS6O3NiRrtQ08uCJBZo7IM-QdW3_iz33jIOY-5A4CJr-RqFUgGHjocYz45cldq/s2000/1954BuickWildcatII_2000.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1331" data-original-width="2000" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_Y0LDmF7Fykx_hP50w0JaefomiTewYs46SbyyKz5rUZFyzynwl9tpICcTWtl76ZxHkKXnveTcuAjYbqPJ2JFO_ANrwpv34cY8sydvi67JYVNku6Djnn_fzYG__LgS6O3NiRrtQ08uCJBZo7IM-QdW3_iz33jIOY-5A4CJr-RqFUgGHjocYz45cldq/w640-h426/1954BuickWildcatII_2000.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">1954 Buick Wildcat<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Mechanical Notes on the Speed Demon</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Cavalier-type classes have trouble getting their horses into a dungeon. A car is even more difficult. But in an urban campaign, or a caravan crawl, having a class dedicated to the exuberance of velocity could be very useful. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">You don't start with a car (let alone The Car). </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Multiclassing into <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2021/04/osr-4-glog-classes-for-loxdon-college.html">Dandy or Brawler</a> could be interesting. Both this class and race suggest a certain kind of taciturn play style. If you want to rant and rave, play a <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2018/03/osr-class-sorcerer.html">sorcerer</a> or a <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2017/07/osr-class-wizards.html">wizard</a>. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I haven't included vehicle rules in this post. This class should work with whatever set of vehicle rules you're using. See also: UVG Vehicle Upgrades <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2020/05/osr-extra-ultraviolet-grasslands.html">1</a>, <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/10/osr-even-more-ultraviolet-grasslands.html">2</a>. Mechanical upgrades to The Car still function. The Car isn't magic, it's just lightly possessed. If you turn a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citro%C3%ABn_2CV">Citroën 2CV</a> into The Car, it'll be a Citroën 2CV hot rod... which is more of a tepid rod. <br /></span></p><p></p>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-67905413331320438952023-05-10T05:33:00.000-06:002023-05-10T05:33:14.001-06:00Film Notes: An Eclectic Film Festival<p><span style="font-family: arial;">Over the last few years, I've had the opportunity to watch a lot of films. Here are some of the best that you may not have seen. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It's difficult to judge the obscurity of films these days. People who are really into films say things like "What!? You haven't seen the classic film <i>Doprdele</i> by Jan Nevyslovitelné? It won the Bismuth Medal at the 1975 Northern Lativan Film Awards and has four positive reviews on Rotten Tomatoes!" <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Hopefully a few of these films will be <a href="https://xkcd.com/1053/">delightful revelations</a>. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I haven't provided detailed reviews. There's not much I can say that someone else hasn't said. If you want to read a plot summary, go find one. I typically don't read summaries before I watch a film. If you trust my judgement, go watch the films without further research, then report back. Imagine you've won a ticket to a very odd film festival.<br /></span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">1: Hungarian Films of the '60s<br /></span></h2><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fifth_Seal">Az ötödik pecsét</a> - The Fifth Seal - 1963</span></h3><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS9CYPh_igzLhEwR2-hxRJKkDhcF4bVn_heDd6RSiSYeGP5yIqwqoAmYY8YnK2ckSET67tkS_sPctuSZzMeo32z62-a9hXihRIkMoUBmJtBj1EnwWlnPhzdrMXkcVMcmy9AZqVk5yN5_z7VYHx2ECyxR4-mj8kZwrGVJqVbY2mEIAMYYuKCBNrimwg/s983/MV5BZjNmOThlNDQtMWQzNC00YTU1LWFlNDgtZjE0OTdjYzAxNmE2XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTc5MDI5NjE@._V1_.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="983" height="468" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS9CYPh_igzLhEwR2-hxRJKkDhcF4bVn_heDd6RSiSYeGP5yIqwqoAmYY8YnK2ckSET67tkS_sPctuSZzMeo32z62-a9hXihRIkMoUBmJtBj1EnwWlnPhzdrMXkcVMcmy9AZqVk5yN5_z7VYHx2ECyxR4-mj8kZwrGVJqVbY2mEIAMYYuKCBNrimwg/w640-h468/MV5BZjNmOThlNDQtMWQzNC00YTU1LWFlNDgtZjE0OTdjYzAxNmE2XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTc5MDI5NjE@._V1_.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">I cannot adequately describe this film. Some films make you forget that you're watching a film. Some films make you forget that you exist at all.</span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Film_Institute_Hungary">NFI</a> had a beautiful restored print of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXNaVsxNi50"><i>Az ötödik pecsét</i> on youtube</a>... which is now, for some reason, private. Oh well.</span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Witness_(1969_Hungarian_film)">A tanú</a> - The Witness - 1969</span></h3><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvM0SQMcuqWEaI23fRVcRyEyqCUmpKb5EKEwtBTqHOBL65CKBK2tX6lPh4ZeQZ1lty50wta4HCwwYMa62wdzMi6wOTvu6D3lpC3dcWEooAYCzI9UReeBKq7PUfma9A3gyc7XddBZbdVo1Oc9Sib6kfgKZJPCzTmH0QdNS-_6y_dD0auMe_rWKWfggh/s780/The-Witness-1969-Hungarian-film-images-cede68f0-6523-4c1e-8ccc-e78d61377fc.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="439" data-original-width="780" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvM0SQMcuqWEaI23fRVcRyEyqCUmpKb5EKEwtBTqHOBL65CKBK2tX6lPh4ZeQZ1lty50wta4HCwwYMa62wdzMi6wOTvu6D3lpC3dcWEooAYCzI9UReeBKq7PUfma9A3gyc7XddBZbdVo1Oc9Sib6kfgKZJPCzTmH0QdNS-_6y_dD0auMe_rWKWfggh/w640-h360/The-Witness-1969-Hungarian-film-images-cede68f0-6523-4c1e-8ccc-e78d61377fc.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Possibly the greatest example of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Good_Soldier_%C5%A0vejk">svejking</a> ever committed to film. The first time I saw the Socialist Ghost Train scene I laughed so hard I pulled a muscle in my neck.<br /></span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Corporal_and_the_Others">A tizedes meg a többiek</a> - The Corporal and the Others - 1965<br /></span></h3><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge0c0slrA3jdw6NV1NqRX_kLCgrg8E5bsOCPL05EFFImyJtU-ktd25muf52JiHDL3Dr82tvL5e9FxejZhLpocR_38dAQvqIfGsNtYAYRhXKTajGtc4xduF3RhSmgmL1gtNjw54wiqifHDqrE_kf6mOSesDKPNzl66-SPZYcJlvOGjNfO6zSS6DR5pD/s800/691.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="601" data-original-width="800" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge0c0slrA3jdw6NV1NqRX_kLCgrg8E5bsOCPL05EFFImyJtU-ktd25muf52JiHDL3Dr82tvL5e9FxejZhLpocR_38dAQvqIfGsNtYAYRhXKTajGtc4xduF3RhSmgmL1gtNjw54wiqifHDqrE_kf6mOSesDKPNzl66-SPZYcJlvOGjNfO6zSS6DR5pD/w640-h480/691.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">Available <a href="https://vimeo.com/groups/641529/videos/244172172">here</a>. A philosophical war comedy. So many half-baked schemes. So many unintended consequences. <br /><br /></span><p></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">2: Extremely Good Mid-Budget Sci-Fi<br /></span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It's easy to make a terrible low-budget sci-fi film. Oddly, it's even easier to make a terrible sci-fi film with a few million dollars. With a student film budget, creators don't have enough rope to hang themselves. With a massive budget, they can afford to both make and correct mistakes. With a few million dollars, an inexperienced filmmaker can get ambitious... and create a truly appalling mess. When that doesn't happen, it's worth noting.<br /></span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incident_at_Raven%27s_Gate">Incident At Raven's Gate</a> - 1988<br /></span></h3><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RUNB8cCAPPQ" width="320" youtube-src-id="RUNB8cCAPPQ"></iframe></span></div><span style="font-family: arial;">A great example of how to achieve unsettling effects on a tight budget, backed up by solid writing and casting. Some films are frustrating to watch because you can see the missed opportunities. With <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incident_at_Raven%27s_Gate">Incident At Raven's Gate</a>,</i> you can marvel at the missed failures. Every time you expect the film to go wrong, to break immersion, botch a scene, or feel cheap and rushed, it<i> doesn't,</i> and that's something special.<br /></span><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prospect_(film)">Prospect</a> - 2018</span></h3><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7EOVzQWv2-JjxlqXlvDk5nr3KadggPHxaSimR1MH45rA5vk-PD6MR0YQjOyPlPk-ETcqLBBBBgmcLoiu3pNyt1UiO09uOYV_a38aTVj9m794d4fMCm95HGsCPiAL-71qrngusdMNxJTY3977xFjDf76qPrN7ygsK8wtvPm2WJLReGAVT7tOz2ZCWh/s4096/MV5BODQxYWRiNzktMzE2MC00NmQyLTk1MDYtYzYxNTRkNTY0NDRjXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTMwNjQ3Nzg@._V1_.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="4096" height="338" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7EOVzQWv2-JjxlqXlvDk5nr3KadggPHxaSimR1MH45rA5vk-PD6MR0YQjOyPlPk-ETcqLBBBBgmcLoiu3pNyt1UiO09uOYV_a38aTVj9m794d4fMCm95HGsCPiAL-71qrngusdMNxJTY3977xFjDf76qPrN7ygsK8wtvPm2WJLReGAVT7tOz2ZCWh/w640-h338/MV5BODQxYWRiNzktMzE2MC00NmQyLTk1MDYtYzYxNTRkNTY0NDRjXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTMwNjQ3Nzg@._V1_.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Sci-fi films often try to create the illusion of a deep and convincing world. They often fail, or their attempts are clumsy and obvious. <i>Prospect </i>succeeds. I <i>do</i> want to know more. I <i>can </i>imagine other stories, other possibilities. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The film is <a href="https://nofilmschool.com/2018/10/thoughts-production-design-team-behind-prospect">a love letter to props</a> without being self-indulgent. It's also the first film in a new genre: "fatherly Pedro Pascal helps a youth navigate a hostile world." See: the <i>Mandalorian </i>(2019) and<i> The Last of Us</i> (2023). It all started with <i>Prospect</i>. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The sound mixing is the film's only major flaw. Dialogue is difficult to understand. It's frustrating to create a deep world with its own vocabulary and idioms and then exclude the audience. But Pascal's mumbled homespun patter is also part of the film's charm.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I hope Zeek Earl and Matt Acosta<i> </i>make another feature film one day, but even if they don't, they should be proud that <i>Prospect </i>will be remembered extremely fondly.<i> </i>You can feel the care and effort that went into the film.<i> </i>An algorithm didn't demand this film. A CGI sweatshop didn't churn out the effects. </span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">3: Historical French Language Films I Thought I Would Never Rewatch And Yet Have Rewatched Several Times</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I wouldn't say I recommend the films in this category, or that
you'll enjoy watching them. Is it possible for a film to travel so far
into boredom that it approaches brilliance? Perhaps it's a different kind of highly refined boredom.
Not the predictable action of paint drying. Not the trivial manipulation of emotions
with stirring music and clumsy dialogue and people in rubber monster masks. But craft, like watching a woodworker or a sculptor. </span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malmkrog">Malmkrog</a> - 2020</span></h3><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuxY3QD35XHQbh0B0CiAa-uWnXNHvA5SBgFviA0dPRNX9yHXNBhSSAl3zCVGJGIk5CCMch7tU3qoRnM7MhXH8TNjdlTf2_qPApl3HWnLz4TMBEFYKgqCZnGNewa-_3Kq75FCM99Nng14Y5jae9BpkC2qcgQ4DMDEPJszBUcn_jSANIYYsA1FfaLk3j/s1000/1582300563106_1000x0702_0x0x0x0_1679269393673.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="702" data-original-width="1000" height="450" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuxY3QD35XHQbh0B0CiAa-uWnXNHvA5SBgFviA0dPRNX9yHXNBhSSAl3zCVGJGIk5CCMch7tU3qoRnM7MhXH8TNjdlTf2_qPApl3HWnLz4TMBEFYKgqCZnGNewa-_3Kq75FCM99Nng14Y5jae9BpkC2qcgQ4DMDEPJszBUcn_jSANIYYsA1FfaLk3j/w640-h450/1582300563106_1000x0702_0x0x0x0_1679269393673.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">A turn-of-the-century dinner party film where everyone has a sword hanging over their heads. The futility of drawing-room philosophy. The splitting of dead hairs.<br /></span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Death_of_Louis_XIV">La mort de Louis XIV</a> - The Death of Louis XIV - 2016</span></h3><h3 style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRq-8N5qyBUP7iVb3I-PyjbADK-E9HyBZaZIADPCoe5AKqjmbgh8Rta5qEnKgMvAULmHC3xHU_yfw4kCMTTibsO5GPfFpNREClNqBQSeUeVmIHtUZmyCMD-XF-vGxn13DcY7ZJhsF0g9sqtGPVRRpXUNLIExJchAOR1aKQsjUEHnXmUKc1OfJULUki/s980/MV5BYWRmMzhkMTItMDQ3Yi00MWU4LThmOGEtYzRhOTMzZTdkYWRhXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTczNTExMDE@._V1_.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="552" data-original-width="980" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRq-8N5qyBUP7iVb3I-PyjbADK-E9HyBZaZIADPCoe5AKqjmbgh8Rta5qEnKgMvAULmHC3xHU_yfw4kCMTTibsO5GPfFpNREClNqBQSeUeVmIHtUZmyCMD-XF-vGxn13DcY7ZJhsF0g9sqtGPVRRpXUNLIExJchAOR1aKQsjUEHnXmUKc1OfJULUki/w640-h360/MV5BYWRmMzhkMTItMDQ3Yi00MWU4LThmOGEtYzRhOTMzZTdkYWRhXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTczNTExMDE@._V1_.jpg" width="640" /></a></div></h3><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">In contrast, <i> La mort de Louis XIV</i>
has minimal dialogue, and relies on lighting, costuming, texture, and
pacing to achieve... whatever it set out to achieve. It's a film
about death, and death is rarely exciting.</span></div><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">4: Moderately Surrealist Films Set Indoors</span></h2><div style="text-align: left;"><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bunker_Palace_H%C3%B4tel">Bunker Palace Hôtel</a> - 1989</span></h3></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXGAYVyBoNY_7ShsI7XQNxlulra2w0CZJmi59OzO-qjwkyZ9pMTvscMBR5a5_6uw0cy0x0n_Ml0eR0Nqih6Y3a2JVk14FqjFYK8dQd3FGi6_1OdZ3bP_RGi35_4TngZfEUD72KOZF2Usnfv0wXUnMxZf5PJJLJQClnEBKxyQxo2Y9nn8PtvA1qWULg/s1280/BunkerPalaceHotel_4.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="826" data-original-width="1280" height="414" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXGAYVyBoNY_7ShsI7XQNxlulra2w0CZJmi59OzO-qjwkyZ9pMTvscMBR5a5_6uw0cy0x0n_Ml0eR0Nqih6Y3a2JVk14FqjFYK8dQd3FGi6_1OdZ3bP_RGi35_4TngZfEUD72KOZF2Usnfv0wXUnMxZf5PJJLJQClnEBKxyQxo2Y9nn8PtvA1qWULg/w640-h414/BunkerPalaceHotel_4.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">A film that does almost everything well, from lighting to props to rapid characterization to its overarching concept. <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bunker_Palace_H%C3%B4tel">Bunker Palace Hôtel</a></i> has pacing issues, but it's still well worth watching. </span><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waydowntown">waydowntown</a> - 2000</span></h3><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/nT1cNFDzPt0" width="320" youtube-src-id="nT1cNFDzPt0"></iframe></span></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>waydowtown</i> and <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primer_(film)">Primer</a> </i>(2004) would make a good double feature. You could even bill them as early 2000s costume dramas. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">If you want more films in this category, see <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-Rise_(film)">High-Rise</a> </i>(2015) or<i> </i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Exterminating_Angel"><i>The Exterminating Angel</i></a> (1962).</span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">5: Pre Code Films Where The Endings Are the Most Memorable Part (But You Have To Watch The Whole Film)<br /></span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Code" refers to the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hays_Code">Hollywood Production Code</a>, which banned anything vaguely suggestive, interesting, or controversial. For a more thorough list, see<a href="https://the-toast.net/2014/04/17/pre-code-movies-worth-watching/"> this post from The Toast </a>(RIP).</span></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Am_a_Fugitive_from_a_Chain_Gang">I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang</a> - 1932</span></h3><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx6ZjkdbRteCfuptyPtv4k2vlJXP2k5ydix1B2IbV5GAoTVxEjnGklrmW9ALYnNHBwcE2d49XJeLbypPL5ufA3rF4FI6Vc-ViIxv5drqqviP1rlmAn-j1CVcsN8DLEP17gplTkYc2T6P5_afzFK0Hwr96pClY914Tua5xN0wef3ovY-V8yoRbRasiK/s500/Chain%20Gang.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="352" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx6ZjkdbRteCfuptyPtv4k2vlJXP2k5ydix1B2IbV5GAoTVxEjnGklrmW9ALYnNHBwcE2d49XJeLbypPL5ufA3rF4FI6Vc-ViIxv5drqqviP1rlmAn-j1CVcsN8DLEP17gplTkYc2T6P5_afzFK0Hwr96pClY914Tua5xN0wef3ovY-V8yoRbRasiK/s16000/Chain%20Gang.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">If you've seen it, you <i>know</i>. If you haven't, you must see it. <br /></span></div><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gold_Diggers_of_1933">Gold Diggers of 1933</a> - 1933<br /></span></h3><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgl3knjruMkfoPkugmBzb0yCQAxeUyOuBVuY3ojwv9BvkNCsJQCnJ9G30sCIrueZaU_DGsbBDxrf7weTVIqp_p0GYia3CbGlphaUW8vnP_rTdRT9OnZA27z7dffLjSlBJWyiNvXV2_xLQC36WOPdHWFIn-ITElO2mdwJ-KWX0sT1nb0lJmmqOou2r1/s1024/tumblr_mweec1EK5K1re1poeo1_1280.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1024" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgl3knjruMkfoPkugmBzb0yCQAxeUyOuBVuY3ojwv9BvkNCsJQCnJ9G30sCIrueZaU_DGsbBDxrf7weTVIqp_p0GYia3CbGlphaUW8vnP_rTdRT9OnZA27z7dffLjSlBJWyiNvXV2_xLQC36WOPdHWFIn-ITElO2mdwJ-KWX0sT1nb0lJmmqOou2r1/w640-h480/tumblr_mweec1EK5K1re1poeo1_1280.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />Lavish musical numbers, a plot to support them, and some snappy dialogue. <br /></span><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_X_(film)">Doctor X</a> - 1932</span></h3><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPKH-wKd461hu3v-S9k1Jay8ET8DNfrB0IslBrddYXzlUFGvtLP_xgB7yE-WY_D-0DdHSe3W-i5hnhiGiwrp8wuZTo0CAqhj9M6WIuNbEEtJctc1u60CgoUEHUFtK0ZR47OVOHu4I4OQrswfFbaASKLXEH191UrCu9uC0sDKDbF7OGvMIuwymvGAVi/s728/23204_1.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="410" data-original-width="728" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPKH-wKd461hu3v-S9k1Jay8ET8DNfrB0IslBrddYXzlUFGvtLP_xgB7yE-WY_D-0DdHSe3W-i5hnhiGiwrp8wuZTo0CAqhj9M6WIuNbEEtJctc1u60CgoUEHUFtK0ZR47OVOHu4I4OQrswfFbaASKLXEH191UrCu9uC0sDKDbF7OGvMIuwymvGAVi/w640-h360/23204_1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">The 2021 restored tinted print, with its brilliant emerald and orange-pink hues, is amazing. You might need time to acclimatize to the comic relief subplot. Just think of it as Shakespeare.</span><p></p>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-78578645877572899122023-05-08T06:58:00.001-06:002023-05-08T06:58:18.380-06:00OSR: The Mystery of Uriah Shambledrake Session Session 19 - A Tale of One City<p><span style="font-family: arial;">In the <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/05/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">previous installment</a>, the PCs:</span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Witnessed a revolution.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Discovered the secret of basement lumps.<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Accidentally facilitated the destruction of Parliament.</span><span style="font-family: arial;"> <br /></span></li></ul><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The PCs are:</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Tom Shambledrake</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2020/04/osr-class-electric-wizard.html">Electric Wizard</a>
and heir to the bankrupt Shambledrake estate. Inventor of the Lightning
Accumulator, the Lightning Inverter, and the Iron Spike.<br /><br /><b>Jonty Earl</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2021/04/osr-4-glog-classes-for-loxdon-college.html">Dandy</a>. Assistant Professor at Loxdon College. Deeply enmeshed in stock-jobbery and financial chicanery.<br /></span></span></span><span><span><span><b><br />Dr. Augustus Hartwell</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2018/01/osr-class-biomancer.html">Biomancer</a>.
A foreign doctor and self-described "quack", currently employed at
Blumsworth Hospital. Ally of speaking rats, workers, and other vermin.<br /><br /><b>Lizzy Ramchander</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/06/osr-alloy-wizard-civic-wizard-and.html">Potion Wizard</a>, former cook, former brewer, and current secretary to Doyle Wormsby. Can duplicate herself. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Doyle Wormsby</b><br /><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/06/osr-alloy-wizard-civic-wizard-and.html">Civic Wizard</a>, Private Investigator. Truth before politics, payment before a case.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgewlqPNqSdgsNI7ZkVwXYqyfVsMpWw8opohtOoaUY79q31hBqPFGlKHk1dEKHh-XB_S1I86j1NfIfuFFsnWWewwiUz1VOQtrzVl4-HCyn8s3Ax4eHVsSNOaAijhcg6NM5opSq8MXWs0ydzKoRnZv_qpHYIC63igLhdKW9mmjzdvMOmF-TtCtmt3MBp/s10071/Endon%20Poster%20Map%202%20With%20Crater%20and%20Labels_2.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="10071" data-original-width="6376" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgewlqPNqSdgsNI7ZkVwXYqyfVsMpWw8opohtOoaUY79q31hBqPFGlKHk1dEKHh-XB_S1I86j1NfIfuFFsnWWewwiUz1VOQtrzVl4-HCyn8s3Ax4eHVsSNOaAijhcg6NM5opSq8MXWs0ydzKoRnZv_qpHYIC63igLhdKW9mmjzdvMOmF-TtCtmt3MBp/w406-h640/Endon%20Poster%20Map%202%20With%20Crater%20and%20Labels_2.jpg" width="406" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Revised map of Endon, featuring recent developments.<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Those maniacs! They blew it up!" Tom said, pointing at column of smoke rising from the former site of the Parliament of Endon.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Who is <i>they</i> anyway?" Doyle asked aloud. "The Mechanics' Society and the Project? That teleportation magic seemed like powerful stuff."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"<i>Someone</i> blew it up, and it wasn't us," Tom said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It was the dragon," Lizzy said. Everyone looked at her. "Well, that's what people are going to say. Big dragon flies over the city blowing stuff up. Then it lands on Parliament and whoops, boom, there goes the neighbourhood."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I'm surprised more of the neighbourhood did not go," Dr. Hartwell said, peering through a telescope at the river. "An explosion of such power..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Ah, oil of azide both explodes and implodes," Tom said. "Terribly flammable, terrifically destructive, but it doesn't produce a blast wave like gunpowder."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"A great comfort to the hundreds of dead and dying, I am sure," Dr. Hartwell said acidly. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Sunlight filtered through the smoke. Tom had called another storm, but the unnatural rainclouds wouldn't arrive for hours. Chains of citizens passed buckets of water towards burning buildings, while passing valuable property the other way. Endon had no organized fire brigade; self-interest, civic duty, light bribery, and the knowledge that burned goods aren't worth looting usually kept fires from spreading.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">From shouted messages and hastily printed posters, it seemed that the revolutionaries were unprepared for the appearance of a dragon and the sudden disappearance of Parliament, but were making acid from lemons (as the alchemists say). As Lizzy predicted, "a dragon destroyed Parliament" seemed to be the dominant narrative. Reports of riots, clashes with the Coppers, collapsing prisons, and other civic misadventures filtered into the Iron Spike compound. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">By early afternoon, the Coppers had been pushed back to the Grim Baliol, most of fires were out, and the attitude on the street seemed to shift from confusion to cautious optimism. Without the Coppers on patrol, the citizens of Endon resorted to their traditional method of keeping order, "a bunch of local lads with clubs." This didn't reduce crime so much as spread it around. In Needle Circus, local "sports enthusiast," "improvised housing consultant," and "lender of last resort" Alan Dard was, to no one's surprise, the public face of the revolution. With his new red handkerchief, waistcoat, and retinue of large bald men with no necks, he seemed to be everywhere at once, shaking hands, kissing babies, and making vague promises.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Urchins on bicycles occasionally stuffed leaflets through the door of the Iron Spike. "Listen to this," Dr. Hartwell read from a pamphlet, "Gel Knights, the Scourge of the Working Class. The depraved aristocracy unable to find soldiers, citizens, or even human beings to fight for its moribund and doomed cause, turns to mindless and merciless gelatinous constructs..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"That's not true!" Tom said reflexively.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"They've got a point," Lizzy said. "We do sell Gel Knights to rich people."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"They're the only ones who can afford them! It's not a class issue. It's..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"And we <i>did </i><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/04/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">trade Gel Knights for the iron you needed to make this tower</a>, and we pretty much knew that they'd be used for, 'anonymous acts of violence' like this pamphlet says," Lizzy continued.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"That's..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"But it's not our fault people use them for violence," Lizzy added soothingly. "They just do what they're told."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Do you think the revolutionaries will attack our Gel Knight works?" Tom said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Oh, probably not. Too well defended. They'll probably smash up any Gel Knights on the street or smaller shops. Like Nero's shop in Grenville Court. Oh no! Nero's shop in Grenville Court! We have to rescue him!" Lizzy said, leaping to her feet.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I'll hail a cab," Doyle said, as he rose and put on his battered hat.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"A cab? At this time of day? In this part of the city? In the middle of a revolution?" Dr. Hartwell said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Cabbies have to make a living too."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I don't know why I stopped for you lot," the cabby said, spitting for emphasis. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Because we look like we tip generously," Doyle said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"<i>Do </i>you tip generously?" the cabby replied, giving Doyle the famous Endon squint.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"We do," Doyle said, handing over a small heap of gold. "Now drive!"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Nero Kralhammer's handsome two-story shop was under siege. The front window was smashed, but every piece of furniture in the building was piled against the window, door, and staircase. Three trolls clad in rags and troll-sized overalls clashed with two of Nero Krahlhammer's display Gel Knights.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Stop it!" Lizzy said authoritatively as the cab slid to a stop.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Grah?" one of the trolls said, and hit the cab with a length of window casing.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Blast 'em!" Tom said, hopping out of the cab and firing a <i>lightning bolt</i> at the trolls. Dr. Hartwell added his wand of <i>scorching ray, </i>Lizzy cast<i> grease</i>, and Doyle pulled out his <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/05/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">new "drain-cleaning" Toby Gun</a> and shot a length of chain at one of the trolls, spattering the pavement with blood as the rattling loop dug deeper and deeper. <br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgLtCAle13d_G83P3D9wC7OdspJCCgDugZ1rpNOoCDNHo4SFdwxUt1X63ITGSeuMxoX16fHWMwxoWY8FKzEkb8cSWJ6EmUPlxQVvWdL8yEyu1w05NUPKDBG4z3ojJTlmxGzIG_mbjYgCW7nAIsKcKeg0qPG1RvPY66MWrUYkl7nr_WTQgzdAaBaw7M/s768/Wizard%20With%20A%20Machine%20Gun.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="512" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgLtCAle13d_G83P3D9wC7OdspJCCgDugZ1rpNOoCDNHo4SFdwxUt1X63ITGSeuMxoX16fHWMwxoWY8FKzEkb8cSWJ6EmUPlxQVvWdL8yEyu1w05NUPKDBG4z3ojJTlmxGzIG_mbjYgCW7nAIsKcKeg0qPG1RvPY66MWrUYkl7nr_WTQgzdAaBaw7M/w426-h640/Wizard%20With%20A%20Machine%20Gun.jpg" width="426" /></a></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"What did we learn, Mr. Shambledrake?" Dr. Hartwell said, as he extracted the last of the troll blood from Tom's wounds.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Not to stand in front of Doyle when he's using that thing," Tom mumbled.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"And?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"And not to get into a fistfight with a troll <span style="font-size: x-small;">even if I think I can win.</span>"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Good!"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"What are we going to do with these trolls?" Lizzy asked, prodding one with her boot. "They're not dead and my trollblood reversal machine isn't ready."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Stick them in the coal cellar," Tom suggested. "And put some furniture on top of them."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Oh my furniture," Nero moaned, loading another carpet bag of papers into the waiting cab. "Some of it was almost paid for!"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">After loading Nero, his long-suffering clerk, and two Gel Knights into one cab, the group returned to Needle Circus and the Iron Spike.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Any news?" Tom asked Chastity Flintwich, the group's cantankerous hired metallurgist.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"The Monarch has disappeared," she said. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"What!? Was he at Parliament? I thought..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Nope. Disappeared from the Royal Palace. Some people say he's escaped to rally forces elsewhere but nobody went with him, and you'd think <i>someone</i> in the palace would have seen him go, or at least try to publish a convincing story. Even the die-hard monarchists are worried."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I assume the Royal Palace is warded?" Dr. Hartwell said. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"The finest wards in Endon... so who knows. It's a mystery." </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom rubbed his eyes, accepted a mug of tea from Lizzy without looking, and stared up at his tower. "We need more information. Tomorrow, I'll go to Loxdon College and see what the students and faculty think of all this. Dr. Hartwell, can you talk to the rats? Lizzy and Doyle, I'm sure you've got leads to investigate. Jonty, can you see what Alan Dard is up to? Who are these 'revolutionary committees' anyway? Did any Members of Parliament survive? Who's in charge?"</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZr92UvGmToBasuYdsOEqmJQSFbwmwWE2VTaspsJGp7RgDO0IoB5dNu-dufaGVZT2B7XSzpUWXYW6WflrSHQnomJwhlJBJrkCBwcy5VyoUDt31OR1xHx_0b0lm1za_YOj7K74nfwM5QSnh2NDhJf66jnIPvHUyLLg06RRpTDruKpI59tIE2taz6YNc/s1500/reza-afshar-img-9775dsdd.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="1435" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZr92UvGmToBasuYdsOEqmJQSFbwmwWE2VTaspsJGp7RgDO0IoB5dNu-dufaGVZT2B7XSzpUWXYW6WflrSHQnomJwhlJBJrkCBwcy5VyoUDt31OR1xHx_0b0lm1za_YOj7K74nfwM5QSnh2NDhJf66jnIPvHUyLLg06RRpTDruKpI59tIE2taz6YNc/w612-h640/reza-afshar-img-9775dsdd.jpg" width="612" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.artstation.com/rezaafshar" style="font-family: arial;">Reza Afshar</a></td></tr></tbody></table><p><span style="font-family: arial;">One week later, Tom asked the entire group to attend an "important council meeting" below the Iron Spike. Like many wizard workshops, the room designated on the plans as the "conference room" was cluttered with old glassware, unlabelled boxes, stacks of paper, and forgotten mugs and spoons. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Lord Tarrigan-on-Burl was not in Parliament, of course. Excuses ranged from an attack of gout to a collapsed carriage wheel, but the upshot was the same. A handful of other MPs were still alive, but they didn't have the will or the numbers to reform Parliament. Endon was not a bureaucratic state. Most government offices consisted of
a minister and one or two clerks. In their absence, life temporarily
continued more-or-less as normal. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Coppers were under siege at the Grim Baliol, but most people expected some form of peaceful resolution in a week or two.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Most of the students at Loxdon College were in favour of the revolution, and used sentences with lots of capitalized words like Truth and Justice and Rights. Women, traditionally banned from studying wizardry unless they wore a beard, burned their false beards in the yard outside Nedalward Hall. Great deeds were discussed, great vows were sworn and later recanted, great drinks were invented, drunk, and regurgitated in alleys.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Most of the faculty thought the revolution was a catastrophe and expected the students would rally behind their wise leadership should the situation call for action. The situation currently seemed to call for six course dinners, long speeches, and discreetly stockpiling magic weaponry. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom wasn't sure if the idea of a Magocracy was his, or if someone had suggested it to him, but it was darkly appealing. Yes, rule by wizards traditionally ended in tragedy, but those were old, pre-industrial wizards, fighting over scraps of magic and living in drafty stone towers. With the Iron Spike and the Lightning Inverter, there was more than enough raw magic to go around. The wizard in charge would, of course, need a council of wise, tenured, well-fed advisors... But then he'd have to actually <i>rule</i>, and that seemed tedious. Tom's dreams evaporated under the glare of imaginary committee meetings, rebellions, pardons, trials, and endless decisions. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Invasion from Foreign Parts, though the topic of many newspaper columns, seemed unlikely. Like the Greater Spined Wartfish, Endon was simply too difficult to swallow. Why fight a city-state that could, if angered, deploy a legion of wizards when you could fight your neighbours, who usually fought fairly and predictably? Even if you conquered Endon, could you keep it? Despite the implausibility of invasion, many Endoners lived in fear of foreign spies and agitators. Conveniently, these foreign spies and agitators were usually foreigners with movable property, no means of defence, and no powerful friends. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Army was a concern. It was currently deployed in Foreign Parts, doing vital tasks like Defending the Realm and Righting the Injustices of the Last War. What did the Army think of the revolution? The cavalry were almost certainly monarchists. If the Army marched on Endon, would wizards turn against them or join them? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Harold II of Eidelberg, the vanished Monarch, had no heirs but several medicore siblings, who were unlikely to rally public confidence, or even finish a sentence without prompting. Despite pamphlets portraying Harold II as a tyrant, nobody could remember any particularly tyrannical acts. His unexplained disappearance had given the revolution plenty of room to court both moderate monarchists and fanatical republicans. With revolution in the air, most young Endoners don't want another Eidelberger on the throne.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">After the 27th, every district sprouted "revolutionary committees" like weeds. They seemed to consist of the leaders of the Mechanics' Societies, plus any members of the Lower and Middle classes who could speak convincingly and organize supporters. They didn't claim to be in charge, but they were trying to figure out who was in charge, and why. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Of course Snedge got himself elected to one," Doyle said. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"If people like Alan Dard and Snedge are on these committees," Jonty said, "the city is doomed." <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Two days ago they formed something called a 'Constitutional Congress'," Doyle reported.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"That means 'Walking About Because It's Good For You'," Lizzy helpfully translated.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Apparently it was chaos," Doyle continued. "Fighting, swearing, arguing in front of chalkboards. At the end of it they realized that the only document all the delegates had signed was this heavily amended draft."<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It's called the 'Magna Costermonger'," Lizzy said. "That means 'The Big Trucking Deal'."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The group read Endon's <a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1DM5pb9r6E3h33nNqKkeRgvbhhkjEZqvS/view?usp=share_link">new constitution</a> with concern. </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1DM5pb9r6E3h33nNqKkeRgvbhhkjEZqvS/view?usp=share_link" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3508" data-original-width="2481" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwJShLncvo0TNbf552lUIOEedkU_T5rg_d5Q52-12mkDGKTJbXV2sBh_e5dYknohURRP2GyzCjbfkhuWZIC-V8ZNLT8Oa6b6IVHBrOXqCgVpVIIApiRrMI0oL-HPs1962Rdqbe10LR5vfbrbUIZHK7T9naPLrA2C152UfGbaGET0bGD-FRvov3R2Dj/w452-h640/Declaration%20of%20Assorted%20Rights_1.jpg" width="452" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1DM5pb9r6E3h33nNqKkeRgvbhhkjEZqvS/view?usp=share_link" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3508" data-original-width="2481" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQIGnm9cf-Agx6hzOudq8ZURI1nHgTeHbxL382qAUCcj62UR40IGZoRQ9x19UIDg6RhJgBJpl97CSEsC_iNjSfU_hfCHYUkcwBdv-rPhLUuoENHj52BX0DbVnWZBfkLd_4pXKUwX6d7HPeZEAHovTxhDdP49D2GMb-Hl9FF05MpZhPyhJsVoHacqXT/w452-h640/Declaration%20of%20Assorted%20Rights_2.jpg" width="452" /></a></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Restricting magic?" Tom said. "We can't have that."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"512 members of Parliament seems unwieldy," Jonty added. "Even if most of them don't turn up."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Most countries would have 511 members of parliament and a Prime Minister," Dr. Hartwell said, "but Endon will have 512 Prime Ministers."<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"At least Lord Tarrigan-on-Burl won't be in this New Parliament," Lizzy said, "unless he gives up his title. I wonder if he even has a real name?" </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"How are they going to pay for all this?" Dr. Hartwell asked.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Are they holding another Constitutional Whatsit?" Tom said. "If they are, we should be there. I can't imagine why they didn't invite me in the first place."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Doyle shrugged. "Probably. But what are you going to say? 'I have a very big tower so you should listen to me.'?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"No," Tom said, glaring at the detective and cursing in his head. "Something clever and inspiring. I don't know. We should form a political party of our own."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I think the revolutionaries are trying to avoid parties and factionalism. See, this pamphlet says they're 'a sign of a decayed and feeble oligarchy' and that 'all true members of the revolution are united by a common cause.'," Lizzy said, holding out a handful of paper.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom gave her a look of withering pity. "If Snedge is on a revolutionary committee, then they've got parties. We're just trying to catch up." <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"What are your party's policies?" Dr. Hartwell asked serenely.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Policies?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"You'll need some sort of policy. And remember, for every policy there is at least one equal and opposite counterpolicy. If we are for X, we are against Y, and the opposition will use that against us."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"How dare they!" Tom said reflexively, eyes blazing.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"> <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Four hours and many urns of tea later, Tom, unshaven but excited, looked around the conference room and summarized the Iron Spike Party's plan.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"First, we get Alan Dard on our side. He has support on the ground, and he seems to be reinventing himself as a fine upstanding citizen of Endon with an amusing but harmless past. If he has any principles, which I very much doubt, we can probably alter them. Second, we use Iron Spike Thaumaturgy as a model company and Needle Circus as a model district, to show what the powers of magic and labour..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Wizards and workers," Lizzy added, with her knack for slogan-making.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Workers and wizards," Tom said diplomatically, "combined, can accomplish. Show that magic can create prosperity and not just destroy jobs."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Do your really want to put one worker and one wizard on <i>every </i>magic battery delivery cart?" Jonty said. Iron Spike Thaumaturgy currently delivered magic to business across Endon using horse-drawn carts with magic batteries inside. The drivers collected empty batteries and brought them to the Iron Spike for recharging. Tom and Chastity were trying to develop a way of conducting magic to nearby businesses with cables or pipes. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Yes. It'll provide jobs for young wizards and out-of-work miners. The miners will learn basic magical safety. The wizards will learn," </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Six new words for..." Lizzy chortled.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Learn valuable and practical life lessons and develop empathy for their fellow citizens," Tom said, reading from his notes.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I have a question about your housing proposal," Dr. Hartwell said, pointing at the map. "You want this political party, or this company, or both, to buy land and build modern housing by magical means."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Partially magical. We'll raise the frame with <i>control metal</i>, but all the interior work will be done by people, not by magic. It'll provide employment. And then, the workers who built the structures will move in. They'll pay a small amount of rent, and part of it will be in labour, to maintain the building."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"But we will own the buildings," Dr. Hartwell said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Ah, yes," Tom said.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"And if someone living in the buildings does something we dislike? Fails to pay rent? Refuses to perform their weekly building maintenance task, or performs poorly? Becomes drunk and starts a fight?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"We'll, err, we'll deal with that later."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Maybe we can make the buildings half for rats and half for people," Lizzy suggested, derailing the conversation. "Rats and humans, living together, working together. Little tiny apartments with little streets!"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I'm not sure the rats would like that," Dr. Hartwell said.<br /></span></p><p style="margin-left: 40px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Side Note: Since my players might be engaging in an ambitious ideologically-motivated urban planning project, I've suggested that my players read "Chapter II: The Ringstrasse, Its Critics, and the Birth of Urban Modernism" of Carl E. Schorske's 1979 classic<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fin-de-si%C3%A8cle_Vienna"> <i>Fin-De-Siècle Vienna</i></a>. In response, they've suggested I do some anatomically implausible things. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Third," Tom said, "we print posters. We write letters to every newspaper. We invite architects to submit proposals, since they <i>apparently </i>don't like my tower."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"We should make it a contest," Lizzy suggested.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"A contest, sure. Angelical Hopewell wants to open her own paper, correct? We'll fund it. The contest can be her first exclusive story. No editorial obligations of course," Tom said. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"And we'll need posters," Lizzy said, sketching furiously. "Like this one." She held up a muscular arm clasping a skinny robe-wearing arm in friendly embrace. "Workers and Wizards! Or how about this one? A crossed wand and hammer beneath an eight-pointed star. Or this one!" </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It's you, holding a distressed newt, and saying 'We Can Do It?' We can do what? Squeeze newts until their eyes bulge?" Doyle said.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It's only a sketch," Lizzy huffed.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Fourth, we improve the roads and drainage system in Needle Circus," Tom said desperately.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"You can't make roads out of iron," Chastity said, waking up briefly. "They'll rust."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"We'll make them out of stone," Tom said. "Cut and mortared by humans but moved by magic."<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Miners and menhirs!" Lizzy suggested. Chastity tried to throw a biscuit at her.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"How are you going to pay for all this?" Dr. Hartwell asked.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"That's a question for the Chief Financial Officer," Tom said, pointing at Jonty, who went pale and started to object. "Jonty is in charge of finances. Perhaps we can pay the workers in Iron Spike Thaumaturgy stock, if people are worried about the stability of the Bank of Endon's notes?" The objections in Jonty's mind collided, lodged in his throat, and temporarily rendered him speechless.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"We can also suggest that businesses that use our magic battery delivery service pay to improve the roads," Tom said. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It's not as though they can refuse," Doyle said. "If they've sold off their magic accumulators, they're dependant on us for their supply."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Oh, and that reminds me, we should buy up those obsolete magic accumulators," Tom said. "To keep them off the market, and so we can reuse their valuable metals for other projects. Oh, and while we're on the subject, Dr. Hartwell is now Chief Officer of Health."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"What does that mean?" Dr. Hartwell asked, raising an eyebrow.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It means you're in charge of the health of the, err, the company. And the local area. You know how you keep saying that all this mercury in the ground is bad for people?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I do!" Dr. Hartwelll said. "It is very bad! You can't just pour mercury onto the street when it becomes thaumically contaminated."<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Well I'm going to do something about it," Tom said. Dr. Hartwell nodded in satisfaction. "And I think we should do something about the drains."<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Do I get to be an officer?" Lizzy asked hopefully.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"You can be... the Chief Officer of Labour Relations," Tom said, in a flash of brilliance. "The bridge between the worker and the wizard."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Corr," Lizzy said, forgetting to put on her middle-class accent for a moment. "Do you think they'll listen to me?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom shrugged. "Doyle, you can be Chief Security Officer. Chastity, you..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Fuck off," Chastity grunted, without looking up.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Ah, well, you just keep doing whatever it is you're doing," Tom said meekly. "Fifth, we ring Endon with seven other Iron Spikes to evenly distribute magic to all areas of the city, and then we link them with a huge ring of lightning in times of war, so that our enemies..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I'm not sure that's feasible right now, Tom," Jonty said gently.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Sixth, we submit a proposal for the New Parliament building, using iron..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Perhaps we should combine that with the architecture contest?" Lizzy suggested. "Also, I think we should offer free food to people in Needle Circus."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Free food?" Jonty said, aghast.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Well, free <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/02/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">Ooze Milk</a> and Ooze Cheese," Lizzy said. "It costs next to nothing to make. Offal and leftovers go into the tank, milk comes out. The bottles cost ten times as much as the contents."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"What is Ooze <i>Cheese?</i>" Jonty asked.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"You know Ooze Milk? That, but I've discovered a way to make it less runny."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Is it safe to eat?" </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Dr. Hartwell says it contains all the ingredients necessary for life," Lizzy said proudly.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"But not life as we know it," Dr. Harwell mumbled. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"With free Ooze Milk, Ooze Cheese, and moderately priced gin," Lizzy continued, "we'll show our commitment to the, ah, where's the constitution? The 'continuance of health and material security' of the populace."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It's worth considering. Seventh, we suggest that the New Parliament John Huffman's new Personal Calculating Golems as, err, as vote tabulating machines. They're infallible, apparently," Tom said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I don't think Parliament will go for it," Doyle said. "First, they'll think you're trying to corrupt the voting process. Second, you <i>are </i>trying to corrupt the voting process. Third, we don't know if the golems can tabulate votes. Fourth, John Huffman has built exactly three working Personal Calculating Golems."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"We'll move that to Future Business," Jonty said deftly.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"What about the rats?" Lizzy said. "I don't think they get to vote, but I think they might be counted as people when districts are assigned. See here," she said, pointing to the well-thumbed copy of the Magna Costermonger, "it just says 'Parliament shall divide the population of Endon' because everything else was crossed out. And there are a <i>lot</i> of rats in the city."<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Do trolls count?" Doyle asked. "Some of them talk."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Gods and devils," Jonty said, holding his head in his hands. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"What if we use a thaumograph to determine how many rat souls are equal to one human soul?" Doyle said. "And divide votes that way?" </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"If rats get the vote, then I think women should also get to vote," Tom said, with what he thought was a gallant turn of phrase.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"What if married men get <i>two </i>votes?" Lizzy suggested. "That solves the problem."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"We don't even know if there will <i>be</i> a New Parliament," Jonty said in despair.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I wonder if Nero Krahlhammer is willing to put his name forward for election?" Tom asked.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"On the one hand, will mean a great deal of extra labour for no tangible benefit," Dr. Hartwell said. "On the other hand, if the Monarch returns, or the revolution fails, he'll be executed."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Oh we'll all be executed," Tom said breezily.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"No," Dr. Hartwell said, scowling. "You and Jonty will manage, somehow. Nobody will care about Lizzy and Doyle. Alan Dard, Benjamin Fits, and anyone else clearly in the revolution, will die. And I may be executed in any case because I am a foreigner."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"But you're Dr. Hartwell the famous doctor of medicine!" Lizzy objected. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"And for now, "Doctor" trumps "Foreigner"... but tomorrow?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"The Iron Spike Party will not permit foreigners to be persecuted," Tom said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Really? And how, I wonder, will you enforce this?" Dr. Hartwell said bitterly. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Future business," Jonty said, before Tom could mention lightning bolts. "We are all very tired. Tomorrow, we announce the Iron Spike Party to the world."<br /></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLYQc2svdEBAAn6GdaHaE4py9WsGXUcHOwku1mrmTzApp9Aq5XY3mprXf_W5GLsHQNk5Z-6SwRO-zAysT7yK3ouG5TsWVrXjtxzkRHQymBOGRDhBrdKOqp4vUZWO6be3FveQVb3Zp7CqvtHWj_Q_2HpEbW9SfamqRKhHFgXRLwr9vKKR9jf2x9oFdj/s3300/Iron%20Spike%20Poster%202_1.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3300" data-original-width="2550" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLYQc2svdEBAAn6GdaHaE4py9WsGXUcHOwku1mrmTzApp9Aq5XY3mprXf_W5GLsHQNk5Z-6SwRO-zAysT7yK3ouG5TsWVrXjtxzkRHQymBOGRDhBrdKOqp4vUZWO6be3FveQVb3Zp7CqvtHWj_Q_2HpEbW9SfamqRKhHFgXRLwr9vKKR9jf2x9oFdj/w494-h640/Iron%20Spike%20Poster%202_1.jpg" width="494" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFXXzL-ebo8">This fanfare</a>, but scored for traditional Endon instruments such as the kazoo, the slide windbreaker, the tromboon, the broken bottle, and night chanters (assorted). <br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /><br /></span><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Angelica Hopewell's paper, the <i>Daily Inquisitor</i>, was an immediate success. The idea of "revolutionary architecture" spread through Endon. Facing an uncertain political future, many citizens of Endon found comfort in the charmingly vitriolic letters between competing architects, designers, and wizards. No scheme was too wild for the back pages of the <i>Daily Inquisitor</i>. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Two days later, a mysterious machine arrived at the gates of Iron Spike Thaumaturgy. It looked a bit like a carriage, a bit like a sledge, and a bit like a perambulator. Clusters of black rods protruded from the machine's undercarriage. Its occupant, clad in emerald cloth and leather, emerged, removed his goggles and scarf, and waved at the gates.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Ahoy hoy," he cried. "I am George Miles. May I enter?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Doyle gave the wizard a critical glance. "You may," he said. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Thank you," Miles said, and turned to the crowd of young men who'd gathered around his vehicle, examining it with obvious delight. "See that this machine comes to no harm."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"> "I am George Miles, and this fabulous machine is one of my Moving Miracles," the wizard said, after shaking Doyle's hand. "I wish to discuss a business proposition with Mr. Shambledrake, the greatest wizard in Endon." He winked at the crowd. Doyle did not react.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">A few minutes later, in a hastily cleaned conference room, George Miles laid out his proposal.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"My Moving Miracles," he said, "are the future of personal transportation in Endon. More comfortable than a broomstick, more affordable than a carriage - yes! - and, dare I say, far more elegant, they will allow the average citizen to safely fly above Endon's traffic, odours, and insalubrious characters."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"We can't use them," Tom said bluntly. "I'm not putting a magic battery in that thing, even if it does have an emergency <i>featherfall </i>enchantment."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Of course not. Heavy industry will still, of course, need to use the streets, but for <i>personal</i> transportation, nothing will exceed the Moving Miracle. As you aim to design new streets for Needle Circus, streets built with the future in mind, I ask you to consider building with the Moving Miracle in mind."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Why?" Tom said. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It will make Needle Circus the most appealing and modern district in Endon," Miles replied. "Isn't that sufficient?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"If your machine becomes popular," Doyle said. "If not..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It <i>will</i> be popular," Miles grunted. "You saw the crowd outside. They all want one. The joy, the convenience..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"And the cost. What do your machines require? They... bounce from place to place?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">George Miles described the flight of the Moving Miracle using a teacup. <i>Moveable rods</i> launched the vehicle upward, propelled it in level flight, and lowered it safely to the ground. The driver used levers instead of reigns to command the machine. "It requires no special training and no particular aptitude," the wizard explained.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"What about collisions," Dr. Hartwell said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"A with a simple adjustment of a lever, a driver can easily..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"But not automatically?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Ah, no, but..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"What if several people wish to return to the ground at the same time?" Dr. Hartwell said. "Will they wait in the sky forever?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Some sort of signalling system could be arranged," Miles muttered. "Perhaps a coloured firework or flare launched over the city every few minutes..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"The landing platforms look simple enough," Doyle said encouragingly. "They're just metal plates on springs." The thought of a large iron platform outside his office, rattling constantly with arriving and departing vehicles, caused deep stirrings in the detective's soul. It felt right, just as the Toby Gun felt right. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I suppose we could build elevated platforms on every street," Tom said. "And run a subsidized transport service along regular routes, like the omnibuses."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">George Miles clutched his heart. "<i>Public </i>transport! But my..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Only a suggestion."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"We could use such a vehicle to transport the very ill to Blumsworth Hospital," Dr. Hartwell said. "If a worker is injured and cannot be treated on site, this vehicle can cross Endon in..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"In minutes," Miles said brightly. "Mere minutes."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"If the platforms are elevated," Lizzy suggested from the sideboard, "people will look up ladies' dresses." Her deportment guides suggested this was a constant risk for middle-class women.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Perhaps some sort of floating platform?" Tom suggested. "The details can be resolved later."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"In any case, I also wish to speak to you of future plans. You see, I have a dream. My Moving Miracles are merely one step along a path that leads us up, up, up!" he said, gesturing out the window. "To the moon! I will construct a great tower of <i>moveable rods</i>, though perhaps not as great as this tower. Within this decade, we will go to the moon and do some other things, not because they are easy, but because they are extremely cool."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Tower madness</i>, Doyle thought. <i>It's spreading.</i> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"To accomplish this feat, I will require - and pay for, in due time - a great quantity of raw magic, which I hope you will one day be in a position to provide. I am telling you this now so that you will not be astonished when the request comes."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Ah, well," Tom said politely. "We will do our best, of course."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"In the meantime, to convince you of the supreme joy of owning a Moving Miracle, the vehicle outside your gates is yours... if you agree to adjust your plans for Needle Circus to accommodate my creation."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"And what of your plans for Monk's Garden?" Doyle said. He'd kept a discreet eye on "Mr. Miles" <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/12/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">ever since Jonty had trouble buying a broomstick on the east side of Endon</a>, but had gained no insight into the wizard's allegiances. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"We are all adapting to this new political, ah, climate in our own way," Miles said blandly, "but I see no points on which our interests conflict."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Good enough for me," Doyle said, nodding to Tom. "Oh, also, we want two vehicles. The one parked outside, and the other one you parked nearby." The detective tried not to gloat as Miles flinched.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"But how?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"You weren't going to <i>walk</i> home," Doyle explained.<br /></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrJkhVIh2ieQ0xeqg3vi1CDQNvNRPLp0CdfQNuChkk_GzrJWef_tKZutqHAfJiD0-j81cqHxwEqIA135TWkOwQpDBLOTaIKqk4Be5q9F4RXTvWb7ZTNT6dX0GQZNsHCfoMuaBDWLiaY1FXO-D9Ezl1vuc0aZ06WCvGwgWNhZCvmWVUEkO7F2JXiZUz/s1558/mira%20resized.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="867" data-original-width="1558" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrJkhVIh2ieQ0xeqg3vi1CDQNvNRPLp0CdfQNuChkk_GzrJWef_tKZutqHAfJiD0-j81cqHxwEqIA135TWkOwQpDBLOTaIKqk4Be5q9F4RXTvWb7ZTNT6dX0GQZNsHCfoMuaBDWLiaY1FXO-D9Ezl1vuc0aZ06WCvGwgWNhZCvmWVUEkO7F2JXiZUz/w640-h356/mira%20resized.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lil-tachyon.tumblr.com/" style="font-family: arial;">Logan Stahl</a><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><p><span style="font-family: arial;"> "Tom," Lizzy said the next morning, as she delivered Tom's tea, newspapers, and the latest revolutionary leaflets, "you know the experimental machine you and Chastity made to draw mercury out of the soil?'</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Yes?" Tom said blearily.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It's gone awry."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom sighed, put on his robe, and began the long descent of the Iron Spike, grumbling all the way.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I think it's an ooze," Lizzy explained, pointing to the shimmering puddle of mercury slowly crawling across the floor of the Gel Knight works. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"How?" was all Tom could say.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Well, mercury soaks up magic," Lizzy said, "so maybe if it soaks up enough magic, and eats some bits of ooze, or some ooze eats it... I don't know."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It's going for tank #6," Dr. Hartwell said, dabbing shaving foam from his chin. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Oh dear! We need to stop it."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Elementary!" Tom said raising both hands and casting <i>control metal</i>. He glared at the ooze and waggled his fingers. "Hrm, that's odd."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Tom," Lizzy said, "you're making the wall go all bendy. Did you miss?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom looked at the ooze, then looked at the iron beams supporting the Gel Knight works. One of them was slowly sagging, like soft clay. He pulled back his spell, dragging it along the iron structure until it reached one of the heaps of spare iron bars he'd positioned throughout the compound. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Damn thing reflected my spell!" he said. "Well I can still capture it. Just let me get this iron in position..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Dr. Hartwell and Doyle exchanged a look across the factory floor, then, sighing, reached for a set of ooze-steering paddles. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Lizzy cast <i>inebriate</i> on the ooze. To her dismay, the spell rebounded, struck her in the head, and knocked her flat on her back. All her magic charge dissipated at once, leaving her drunk, but not pleasantly drunk. She was experiencing a sensation similar to waking up in the morning after a wild party
and realizing you're still drunk but have to be at a job you hate in twenty minutes. "Oooh my head," she groaned.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I <i>said</i> it reflected my spell," Tom yelled, as he struggled to put a wall of iron between vat #6 and the mercury ooze.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The ooze boiled upwards, forming a humanoid figure, then, with a flicker of magic, resolving into a mirror-bright duplicate of Tom Shambledrake. "Izaid i zflected spel", the ooze buzzed.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom felt unpleasantly cold. His magically enhanced vision confirmed the awful truth. The ooze hadn't just duplicated his form. It had, somehow, cast <i>duplicate self</i> on him. The double that faced him had half his soul and half his magic! </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"It's duplicated me!" he cried. "Don't harm it!"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Dr. Hartwell realized that Tom's duplicate would probably cast some sort of lightning spell at the first opportunity, so he dropped his paddle and raced to a column. He'd repurposed <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/04/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">the lightning-attracting posters put up by Snedge during the cancelled tower-raising ceremony</a> as lightning traps. He feverishly tore off the protective layer of lead and threw himself flat on the floor.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The ooze raised two metallic arms and cast <i>lightning bolt</i>. The blast tore across the factory, struck the column, lightly zapped Tom in the process, and dissipated harmlessly. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Lizzy sat up, threw a vial of <i>hypergin </i>at the ooze, and lay back down just in time to see a wall of fire roll over her head. "Oh right," she said. "Sorry Tom! I forgot your eyeballs are made of fire."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"No harm done," Tom said, extinguishing his eyebrows. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Speak for yourself," Doyle said, as he tried to put out his smouldering umbrella. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"What do we do now?" Dr. Hartwell yelled.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I know what I must do," Tom said. "I must wrestle it."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"You fool! It'll cast <i>shocking grasp </i>or something," Dr. Hartwell protested.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tom smiled and cast <i>rubberize </i>on himself. "Let it try. Oh, let it try. Come here you malformed metallic mimic," he said, stomping towards the ooze.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The workers of the Gel Knight factory applauded as their employer, aided by Dr. Hartwell and Doyle and their ooze paddles, forced the mercury into a glass container and locked the lid. "Not a bad bit of ooze-handling, for amateurs," one said respectfully. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Ah, Lizzy," Tom said. "Terribly sorry to bother you, but which duplicate is the, err, the surviving one, when the spell ends?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"The strongest and healthiest," Lizzy replied from the floor. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"You see, I was injured in the fight, and I'm concerned that the ooze will, ah, well..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Get Dr. Hartwell to heal you," Lizzy said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"He has, and he's out of healing for the day," Tom said. "Do you have any suggestions?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"You want me to improvise a healing potion in under three minutes, while drunk, using only ingredients in this laboratory, in case the ooze eats your soul and becomes the new Tom Shambledake?" Lizzy said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"That's the essence of the matter," Tom said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Lizzy sprung to her feet. "Get me four ccs of mouse blood, stat! You, with the moustache! I need powdered wormwood! You, a reciprocating funnel with an extra hose clamp! Go! We're doing potion wizardry, people!" Lizzy sprinted towards a workbench, collided with it, rebounded, flung open a drawer, and started mixing ingredients. "Oil of coca, essence of lodestone, eye of newt... damn, no time for the newt centrifuge, I'll have to do this the old fashioned way," she said, spinning the newt over her head like a lariat. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Drink this," she said, handing Tom a bubbling blue flask. It wobbled in her hand, as if something in its milky depths was trying to break free. Tom sighed and downed the liquid. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"You may feel a slight tingling in the left side of your body, or the right side if you were born in a month with two or more vowels," Lizzy said. "Also, your toenails will grow at a ferocious rate for the next few weeks."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Ghnerg," Tom said. He felt extremely healthy, and yet, simultaneously, like someone was pressing him through a fine mesh sieve.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"You know," Dr. Hartwell said from the sidelines, "we could have damaged the ooze instead. Made sure Tom was the healthiest one."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"I thought of that," said Doyle, "but imagine if we'd killed the ooze by accident. This seemed safer."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"As a medical professional," Dr. Hartwell started to say, but thought better of it.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"> <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The ooze's <i>duplicate self</i> spell wore off and Tom felt half his soul return. "Is this what it's like for you every time?" he asked Lizzy.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"You get used to it," she said. "And you get so much done when there's two of you."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"This," Dr. Hartwell said, "is why we need to put First Aid kits with healing potions and other useful items in prominent locations."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"What is a 'First Aid?'" Tom asked.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"First Aid is medical assistance from the nearest trained person," Dr. Hartwell said, counting on his fingers. "Second Aid is the surgeon at the hospital. Third Aid is the priest and the gravedigger."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"And Fourth Aid is the necromancer," Lizzy said cheerfully.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Fourth Aid is <i>not </i>the necromancer, Lizzy," Dr. Hartwell hissed.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"Well it <i>could</i> be. I died and you brought me back, remember?" she said.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">"That was not necromancy. <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/12/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">It was time travel.</a> It was completely different and we are never doing it again."</span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwCTuB-Vwm97QiQd1ZwroO9DQcbEdE2Vjv7HPMJOXCD4l9dD5VmqWqwsN2UMJ2sSU17e4Hk7nEVs0Q4BKNVK1GGStlCfkLFpuiasEGvuP1HlesqTd9azvpvld3wMpqnTIwB2GN_5qpBntlvOp20nT2xxWUmew9TKS6aVAvnByHN1nfPHaaTOmCGgJI/s2728/transatlantic-balloon-rawscan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2728" data-original-width="2072" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwCTuB-Vwm97QiQd1ZwroO9DQcbEdE2Vjv7HPMJOXCD4l9dD5VmqWqwsN2UMJ2sSU17e4Hk7nEVs0Q4BKNVK1GGStlCfkLFpuiasEGvuP1HlesqTd9azvpvld3wMpqnTIwB2GN_5qpBntlvOp20nT2xxWUmew9TKS6aVAvnByHN1nfPHaaTOmCGgJI/w486-h640/transatlantic-balloon-rawscan.jpg" width="486" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://OldBookIllustrations.com" style="font-family: arial;">OldBookIllustrations.com</a></td></tr></tbody></table><p><span style="font-family: arial;">After examining Tom for any particularly interesting side-effects of the potion, Dr. Hartwell, wearing his "definitely not a foreigner" disguise, slipped out of the Gel Knight Works and caught a cab for the group's townhouse near West Cross.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">He let himself in through the back door, locked it behind him, then opened the locked door to the basement. Cautiously, but with fixed intent, he descended. Dozens of beady eyes watched him from purpose-built shelves. This was neutral ground for the Speaking Rats, a place where Dr. Hartwell could talk to them, walk among them in rat form, and try to mutate them into more survivable forms.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It also contained a secret that haunted Dr. Hartwell day and night. On one shelf, next to a jar of pickles, sat a serene opalescent unicorn rat. And next to the unicorn rat sat a beweildered golden-haired rat with a tiny gold crown. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Alone among the humans of Endon, Dr. Hartwell knew the location and fate of the Monarch, Harold II of the house of Eidelberg. His Majesty was married to a unicorn rat and living in comfort and profound confusion in the basement of a middle-class two-story townhome on the west side of Endon.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>They had every chance to avoid a monarchy</i>, Dr. Hartwell thought as he examined the Monarch. <i>And yet, here we are. What am I going to do? </i><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">What is Dr. Hartwell going to do? What are any of the PCs going to do? And why? And, more importantly, will they get away with it? Find out next time.<br /></span></p>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1958522416503442248.post-4198299678086098192023-05-04T19:08:00.007-06:002023-05-04T19:09:37.238-06:00OSR: Eight Diseases of Wizards<div style="text-align: left;"><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Wizards get sick in unusual ways. <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2017/07/osr-condensed-spellcasting-rules.html">Dooms and Mishaps</a> are, arguably, wizard diseases, but they're not the only afflictions unique to spellcasters. <a href=" https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/11/osr-magical-medicine-in-endon.html">Applied magic can cure an illness</a>, but inadvisably applied magic can cause one.<br /></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSHL4QUDNohdB_tmTmEZM2SOuhtb86xvtnojWovs9FCcazvmUKFtb01_7lPJXl-Mbk4J_Ovgp1J4WdzwLU9UwehnB2GVXy_fQpaXRirbm36COimTNfQSjnGS3AUwHg_jg2WQw34KOoMNvUnSW2p6cjnQ3yzocmu9OuBJBGtXTHypaf4aA4z1Ou76Ea/s1600/Babel.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1032" data-original-width="1600" height="412" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSHL4QUDNohdB_tmTmEZM2SOuhtb86xvtnojWovs9FCcazvmUKFtb01_7lPJXl-Mbk4J_Ovgp1J4WdzwLU9UwehnB2GVXy_fQpaXRirbm36COimTNfQSjnGS3AUwHg_jg2WQw34KOoMNvUnSW2p6cjnQ3yzocmu9OuBJBGtXTHypaf4aA4z1Ou76Ea/w640-h412/Babel.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Martin_(painter)">John Martin</a></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">1. Tower Madness</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Also known as Pre-Traumatic Euphoria, Tower Madness is the combination of agoraphobia, megalomania, and <i>l’appel du vide </i>that strikes a wizard with a tower. From the top of a tower, <a href="http://throneofsalt.blogspot.com/2020/09/miniposts.html">all problems appear inconsequential</a>. The landscape is painted scenery, the people merely ants. What can a wizard in a tower not do? Anything displeasing in their view rankles like a bloom of mold on a painted wall or a stain on a carpet. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It is not clear whether Tower Madness precedes or follows the creation of a tower. Some wizards obsess over the plans for their towers, raving and capering before a single stone is placed. Some build towers for entirely sensible reasons, only to lose all sense of proportion when they first ascend the stairs.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Most dangerous of all is the wizard who carries a tower in their mind,
not as a dream but as a waking vision, a permanent personal
hallucination. Such a wizard has all the confidence of a tower-dweller
without any of the restrictions. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2019/10/osr-magical-industrial-revolution.html">The city of Endon</a>, and Loxdon College, succeeded by making towers
unfashionable. No modern, industrial wizard would potter around some
dingy owl-infested stump when they could own a bright and well-lit
workshop, employ smocked assistants instead of dribbly homunculi and chimeras, and enjoy
all the benefits of urban life. A wizard sensitive to public
opinion won't even buy home with a bay window or a turret, lest they be
mocked as a one-toothed tower-dwelling hermit.</span></p><span style="font-family: arial;">All that changed when <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2023/04/osr-mystery-of-uriah-shambledrake.html">Tom Shambledrake raised the Iron Spike over Endon</a>. Suddenly, the possibility
of a modern industrial tower, the fusion of systematized magic and ancient
psychosis, flooded through Endon. Young wizards ulcerate for towers of
their own. Deans and professors look at the Iron Spike with awe and
envy. Architects write vitriolic letters, for wizards are the only people with worse architectural taste than architects. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Plot Seeds:<br /></b></span><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Arthur Grenouvelle's "Rant Type Index" lists and cross-references common Tower Madness rants. E.g. "44. I Shall Show Them All", "81. Mad They Called Me", "114. They Said It Could Not Be Done". Reading the index, unfortunately, is liable to cause Tower Madness in susceptible wizards.<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">The taller the tower, the more powerful the wizard (or so say wizards with tall towers). Attempts to circumvent the limits of stone include The Tower Asymptotic (which traded compression failure for tension failure), assorted flying towers/cities, and the Perspective Spire of Enrique Lazaro (which only appeared to be remarkably tall).</span></li></ul></div><div style="text-align: left;"><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">2. Boggy Pox </span></h2><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A decade ago (a decade! Good lord), <a href="https://goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2013/06/frog-pox.html">Arnold K invented the Boggy Pox</a>. It's worth reminding the world. Boggy Pox, or Drimwick's Final Blunder, infects a wizard's spells, turning them into copies of Drimwick's Final Blunder and slowly turning the wizard in to a <a href="https://goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2017/02/boggies.html">Boggie</a>.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Wizards in Endon have a sure-fire Boggy cure. All you need is a kiln, thirty kilograms of salt, and a willingness to accept some permanent skin damage.</span></p><p><b style="font-family: arial;">Plot Seeds:</b><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">See the <a href="https://goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2017/02/boggies.html">linked post</a>.</span></li></ul><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgEoqoZ2SzcUqPsNZc_4fgGXRDpTaEbnIUlYJkTU6ikbQnJY__cLvVpj-4k1ZTGLz_ALE76EJ_TfYzdiM3fIxR87wN9ALiXDlWIdvjP9uMIeFrIeKX6ORuy17bpf4b_Z5O9jol-yEDL8qYtuletf1cxXgByEgdHGXv764hNV1DfQ46aA9k3BnwD-h-/s3015/Wonder-Stories-April-1931.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3015" data-original-width="2080" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgEoqoZ2SzcUqPsNZc_4fgGXRDpTaEbnIUlYJkTU6ikbQnJY__cLvVpj-4k1ZTGLz_ALE76EJ_TfYzdiM3fIxR87wN9ALiXDlWIdvjP9uMIeFrIeKX6ORuy17bpf4b_Z5O9jol-yEDL8qYtuletf1cxXgByEgdHGXv764hNV1DfQ46aA9k3BnwD-h-/w442-h640/Wonder-Stories-April-1931.jpg" width="442" /></a></div><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">3. <span>Hypercephaly </span></span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">A wizard's brain is a strange organ, altered by training and chance to hold spells and direct the flow of magic. Learning too many spells too quickly, or trying to cram more spells into a mind than tradition and common sense suggest is wise, may result in hypercephaly. In mild cases, it manifests as a bulging forehead, sudden baldness, and a tendency to wear hats indoors. In severe cases, the wizard's body atrophies until it dangles below a bulbous head like the string on a balloon. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Hypercephalic wizards suffer from poor eyesight (as their altered skulls squish their eyes), constant headaches (sometimes transmitted to nearby people's heads) and shortened lifespans (as the weakened digestive system cannot support the brain). Biomancy can solve a few of these issues, but siphoning nutrients from litres of blood or draining the life force out of orphans may earn a wizard a dark reputation.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2017/07/osr-condensed-spellcasting-rules.html">GLOG terms</a>, Hypercephaly gives a wizard an additional spell slot and MD, but reduces their physical stats and HP by half and prevents non-magical healing.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Hypercephaly is not directly contagious, but it can spread through papers, research notes, and cautionary tales. Some wizards suggest Eye Tyrants are <span>Hypercephalic </span>wizards driven mad by the spells required to support their new bodies. They're completely wrong, but it's a comforting thought.</span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Herbert Numps wanted to conceal his swelling spherical head with a <i>shrink </i>spell. This was a bad idea. Herbert's head is the size of a cue ball attached to a doll-like body. He can hover, but he's worried about the local cats.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Is that lump on the top of your head incipient hypercephaly, Cavorting Sinus Syndrome, or baldness caused by reading too many books? </span></li></ul><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">4. Demon of the Flesh<br /></span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">A memetic disease. Sensible wizards learn of the Demon and forget about it, but wizards are prone to obsession and contemplation.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Demon of the Flesh is magic cancer. Don't think about a tumour growing in your head. Don't think of a tumour with teeth and hair, buried in your skull, slowly gestating, destroying your life with its blind biochemical need. Don't think of it feeding on your magic, growing stronger day by day as you grow weaker, older, more fallible. Is that headache the beginning of the end? Are those spots before your eyes a sign the tumor has reached your optic nerve? Wizards imagine things into existence; what have you foolishly called up?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Biomancy struggles with cancer. Some spells can accelerate, steer, or tame a tumour, but few can reverse its progress without spreading or empowering it. Cancers of the mind, especially ones infected with a wizard's thoughts and soaked in ambient magic, may fight back. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Demon of the Flesh is not to be confused with Leaping Bone Syndrome<span class="ILfuVd" lang="en"><span class="hgKElc">, Carcinization</span></span> (where a wizard suddenly evolves into a crab), or Migrating Glands.</span></p><p><b style="font-family: arial;">Plot Seeds:</b></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">When a wizard dies, any memorized spells are engraved on the inside of their skull. Tradition and good taste caution against raiding the skulls of the recently dead, but <i>someone</i> cracked open the skull of this wizard. Careful inspection, possibly much later, might suggest that the skull was opened from the inside.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">By night, a biomancer stalks the alleys of Endon, navigating by the face growing from the back of their skull. They're vaguely aware of their other half's crimes, but also want a way to peel the two minds apart. Biomancy is about making friends, after all. </span></li></ul><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrqKQlvKQ0P93B420ySeJ4zNYnOOJHJJWG6qdFfpe3d5jnmEoC8zA8feTyodqD_h2RFyZx9kfBLXrlVb-guo1BkSD-bZBCNCZQ2u--E1858CPJf-frHmp5neqC4zyqld92mZDyL05kwT6yugrpKX9zos3lY2o4P2ZUs3InftApb6YQGzJqpgSpKIqA/s1299/aaron-griffin-traingle-mask-3.jpg" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1299" data-original-width="800" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrqKQlvKQ0P93B420ySeJ4zNYnOOJHJJWG6qdFfpe3d5jnmEoC8zA8feTyodqD_h2RFyZx9kfBLXrlVb-guo1BkSD-bZBCNCZQ2u--E1858CPJf-frHmp5neqC4zyqld92mZDyL05kwT6yugrpKX9zos3lY2o4P2ZUs3InftApb6YQGzJqpgSpKIqA/w394-h640/aaron-griffin-traingle-mask-3.jpg" width="394" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.artstation.com/aaron-griffin">Aaron Griffin</a></td></tr></tbody></table><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">5. Prognobsfucation</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Predicting the future is a difficult art. Few wizards put their faith in prophecies, but paranoia may lead a wizard to replace the lenses in their eyes with crystals or surround their head with predictive magic. Osman's First Uncertainty Principle ("You may already be in the future.") suggests that sufficiently powerful magic can accurately predict a few seconds of local futures.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The human mind was not meant to see all possibilities at once. Victims of Prognobsfucation cannot tell what is happening from what might happen. Osman's Second Uncertainty Principle ("The future is catching.") means Prognobsfucation can spread from one wizard to another like the common cold.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In mechanical terms, a wizard suffering from Prognobsfucation reduces their Wisdom by 1 for each unpredictable thing they can see. A clock, a boulder, and a bucket of water are predictable. A person, a dog, and a flame are not predictable. If this reduces a wizard's Wisdom below 1, they are paralyzed with confusion. A wizard suffering from Prognobsfucation can also act in surprise rounds.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Curing Prognobsfucation requires extremely strong hallucinogens (in the hope that, when they wear off, one reality will dominate), daily use of a <i>stasis </i>spell, or the rare semi-precious stone conundorum. </span></p><p><b style="font-family: arial;">Plot Seeds: </b></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Chlort McDoonigal claimed she could predict the outcome of any dice-based game of chance provided she was bankrolled and at precisely the right level of inebriation. In retrospect, this was a terrible plan. Now you, Chlort, and your friends need to get out of the gambling den alive.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Chaos Frogs are attracted to Prognobsfucated wizards like flies to honey, with comparable amounts of licking.<br /></span></li></ul><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">6. Dybuk Syndrome</span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Spells aren't the only thing that can occupy a spell slot. Wizards are prone to possession. Channelling ghosts and summoning devils are quick and perilous paths to knowledge. Dybuk possession typically occurs when a wizard dies of natural causes without taking the proper precautions. A dead wizard is like an abandoned fighter jet. All a spirit needs to do is climb inside, restart some biology, and take their new home for a test drive. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">A living wizard can still fall victim to a Dybuk, particularly if the wizard has multiple empty spell slots and a weak personality. The result is Dybuk Syndrome, where the wizard and the Dybuk fight for control. An amoral, curious, and sadistic spirit is rarely an improvement over the original wizard.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Dybuks can be identified by a variety of folkloric methods. They rarely blink, are too warm or too cold, have a new personality, etc. In most people, these would be obvious signs, but in a wizard, particularly an aged and powerful wizard, they might be perfectly normal. A clever dybuk can explain their host's apparent death as a temporary malady, an illusion, or a setback overcome by powerful contingency spells.</span></p><p><b style="font-family: arial;">Plot Seeds:</b></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Your professor has gone mad. Loxdon College wants it covered up, quickly, and ideally with the professor's mind intact. Can you identify the root cause, lure the Dybuk into a new host (possibly via fake academic credentials), or bribe the Dybuk to sign your term papers?</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">This Dybuk has claimed legal sanctuary and, somehow, hired a lawyer. They might not win their case but the proceedings could take years.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">A spirit contacts you, claiming to be the original soul of a possessed wizard. Should you help the wizard get their body back, or is this a Dybuk's trick?<br /></span></li></ul><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid06yJcncGI9CX_y4hx8YAtsUYz1SLWiTDN4cyX8zPXtLoHGVmCvExxbxjWYwGYF1MA6_gKyIDrwHcHp1Gx4cjAMqrs222SuWe-FUPjjD8ZDlc77norCcqFi_SvMIANIYEthWWLFfngyb9mJlWn_puIk_l8opaFnkIbJwcy18JWFsypvENS5qzsKJJ/s500/tumblr_08c1b44386e904abe841de0edfb34de2_ee8edcf6_500.gif" style="font-family: arial; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid06yJcncGI9CX_y4hx8YAtsUYz1SLWiTDN4cyX8zPXtLoHGVmCvExxbxjWYwGYF1MA6_gKyIDrwHcHp1Gx4cjAMqrs222SuWe-FUPjjD8ZDlc77norCcqFi_SvMIANIYEthWWLFfngyb9mJlWn_puIk_l8opaFnkIbJwcy18JWFsypvENS5qzsKJJ/w400-h225/tumblr_08c1b44386e904abe841de0edfb34de2_ee8edcf6_500.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Good Omens<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><h2><span style="font-family: arial;">7. Deadly Finger</span></h2></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Most wizards are pleased (secretly or openly) if they accidentally acquire the so-called "Evil Eye". Squinting at someone and wishing them harm, then having that harm take place, requires effort and intent. It's hard to accidentally give someone the evil eye.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">But it is tragically easy for a wizard infected with the Deadly Finger to cause unwanted damage. Wizards are trained not to point at things, lest spare thaumic charge slosh out the end of their fingers, but Deadly Finger disease can turn <i>any </i>gesture into a catastrophe. Pushing a button, picking your nose, or trying to find change in a purse can trigger the invisible dart of the Deadly Finger.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In mechanical terms, any action that cannot be completed with a balled fist has a 50% chance to trigger the Deadly Finger, which counts as a crossbow that ignores armour. The Deadly Finger strikes a random reasonable target (i.e. if the wizard takes something out of their pocket, they are the only valid target. If they gesture broadly in a crowded concert hall, someone in the crowd is the target). The Deadly Finger leaves octagonal wounds. Any wizard struck by the Deadly Finger has a 50% chance to be infected.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The simplest cure for the Deadly Finger is amputation, but wizards are sometimes dismayed to discover the ghost of their fingers possess the same undesirable properties, even when shorn of flesh. <i>Remove curse</i> is effective. Warded gloves or tattoos impede both the Deadly Finger and spellcasting. </span></p><p><b style="font-family: arial;">Plot Seeds: </b><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Decapod Daryl, the Handiest Wizard in the West (side of the river) has deliberately infected himself with Deadly Fingers.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Was this wizard killed by their own Deadly Finger or by a rival's? Perhaps their rival was framed. Don't go around pointing fingers. </span></li></ul><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">8. Extensibility </span></h2><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Also known as Purford's Extrusion, this condition usually results from abuse of Seven League Boots, <a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2019/05/osr-elsewhere-creatures-and-elsewhere.html">false teleportation</a>, or spells like <i><a href="https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2022/06/osr-alloy-wizard-civic-wizard-and.html">mercury's haste</a></i>. The afflicted wizard leaves a trail of wizard behind them, like a solid afterimage. Wizards who touch the trail have a 10% chance to be infected with Extensibility.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In its initial stages, Extensibility leaves a ~6" trail for less than a second. Attacks against an infected wizard gain +4 to hit.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In its active stage, typically a week after initial infection, Extensibility instead leaves a 10' trail per round of movement at normal speed. One segment vanishes per round. Every 1d4 days, the trail grows by 1 10' segment. The length of a trail doubles if the wizard sprints and halves if the wizard walks very slowly. The infected wizard cannot save to dodge, and attacks made against them gain +8 to hit. Each 10' segment counts as an additional target for the purposes of area-of-effect spells. As the wizard's soul is diffused over a large area, the wizard gains a +4 bonus against single-target save-based effects.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The trail is solid. A wizard can stop, but cannot walk backwards without running into themselves. It's a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snake_(video_game_genre)">game of Snake</a>. Crossing legs while walking may lead to a horrible tangle. The "active" end of the trail doesn't have any unusual mass-based properties (so the wizard can still jump normally), but the rest of the trail is as heavy as a conga line of very intimate wizards. Damage dealt to the trail propagates forward until it strikes the infected wizard. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Curing Extensibility requires a Vorpal Blade (and a <i>very </i>steady hand) or a Thaumic Clamp, a vacuum pump, and earplugs. </span></p><p><b style="font-family: arial;">Plot Seeds:</b></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Dringbell the Elder had a magical nap for six months to avoid seeing his relatives. Unfortunately, he contracted Extensibility just before he went to sleep. He is six and a half blocks long and very annoyed. Healing spells and quick footwork have kept lethal damage from catching up with the active end... for now.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">According to a new paper, a wizard infected with Extensibility could theoretically use a <i>fuse flesh </i>spell to connect to their own trailing end, forming a "soul ouroboros" of "infinite majik potential". Any volunteers?</span></li></ul>Skerpleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06393779599461560431noreply@blogger.com1