OSR: Poem of Peasant Grievances

The last post was more of a tabulated beat poem. This one is a little more conventional. It makes for a good litany for any oppressed peasant in any time and in any system. Many apologies to John Cooper Clarke

You Can't Spell "Feudal" without "Futile"

Our fucking lord is fucking grand
A fucking twat with fucking land
His fucking son's a fucking arse

His fucking court's a fucking farce
With fucking costs and fucking fees
With fucking lords like fucking these
It's no surprise we're fucking down
Here in fucking Peasant-town

The fucking soil's fucking bad
The fucking priest is fucking sad
The fucking wind and fucking rain
Are fucking up the fucking grain
The fucking wheat is fucking chaff
Don't even try to make me laugh
It fucking hurts to look around
Everywhere in Peasant-town

The fucking cost of fucking war
Is fucking us for fucking more
You're fucking starved and fucking drowned
In feudalistic Peasant-town

The fucking babies fucking cry
The fucking livestock fucking dies
The fucking roads are fucking muck
Our fucking huts are fucking fucked
The fucking view is fucking vile
For mile after fucking mile

But to the land we're fucking bound
Loyal serfs of Peasant-town

Our fucking fields are fucking bogs
Our fucking lord's a fucking hog
With fucking swords and fucking knights
To exercise his fucking rights
Of fucking with our fucking lives
And leering at our fucking wives
And fucking hunting fucking game
I fucking die of fucking shame
To tell my friends I can be found
Here in fucking Peasant-town

The fucking church is fucking lax
They fucking charge a fucking tax
To put you in the fucking ground
Burial in Peasant-town

The fucking wind is fucking cold
The fucking rye has fucking mold
The fucking monks have fucking feasts
The fucking knights are fucking beasts
The fucking plough is fucking bent
The fucking cost of fucking rent
Is never going fucking down
In god-forsaken Peasant-town.


  1. My basement is flooding, my raise was denied, and my car broke down. But this. This made everything alright. I want to fucking frame this.

    1. The fucking cleric's fucking dead
      He fucking lost his fucking head
      The fucking bard is fucking gone
      My spells return at fucking dawn
      The fucking fighter fucking fought
      A fucking thing he should have not
      The fucking thief just fucking dropped
      Our fucking loot and fucking stopped
      To fucking check his fucking pack
      The warlock stabbed his fucking back
      This dungeon crawl has really sucked

      I think, in short, our party's fucked

    2. Your beautiful bastard. Speaking of such, a friend of mine just recently started one of these and I thought you might like it. He's still kinda finding his footing but damn if he doesn't have some tasty ideas. http://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/

  2. I fucking love this fucking post
    It's fucking great, I love it the most
    My fucking poetrys fucking pits
    Apologies for this comment of shit

    Seriously I love this

  3. Oh wow, didn't expect to find Chickentown in your archives.