2017/07/13

Monster Menu-All Part 1: Eating the AD&D Monster Manual

My players keep eating things they find in dungeons. I hope I'm not alone in this.

Here are all the monsters from the 1977 AD&D Monster Manual tabulated, sorted, and presented for your gustatory enjoyment. Bookmark this page and search for the latest creature your PCs decided to eat. Feel free to add comments explaining their mishaps.

Flavours are based on personal experience or best guesses. All creatures are the property of their respective trademark holders, etc, etc.


In the GLOG system, lunch heals you 1d6+your level HP, and a good night's sleep after dinner heals you fully. If you're prefer a more interesting and diverse system, check out these very good rules by Occultesque. You could use them, plus the table below, to run an entire campaign based around cooking and eating rare dungeon creatures.

Saves are listed in a general format, either as a general Save, against a Stat (vs. Constitution), or against an effect (vs. Fear). Adapt to your system as needed.

Dungeon Meshi

Normal Meat

Any minor magical creature. Even cows are just a little bit magical, but you can eat them without worrying. Add +1 to the roll if the meat was properly cooked and prepared, and -4 if the meat is rotten. Spices, side dishes, and skill might add further bonuses.

Normal Meat Effects (d6)
1. Save vs Constitution or lose any benefit from the meal, and spend the rest of the day queasy and gassy.
2-5. No Extra Effect
6. Delicious! Heal 1 HP, or 1 additional HP.

D30 Normal Meats
You could use this as a (very) random encounter table or to figure out what's on the menu at the local inn. 

d30 Creature Flavour or Effect
1 Barracuda or Gar, giant or Masher Fish
2 Beaver, giant Oily, fatty pork
3
Boar
Dense but faintly spiced pork
4 Buffalo Faintly spiced beef
5 Bull or Cattle, wild Beef
6 Camel, wild Stringy beef
7
Crocodile
Cross between chicken and fish
8 Dolphin Fishy. Next sailing voyage is cursed. 1-in-100 chance of being haunted by a vengeful dolphin ghost.
9 Eel Fishy
10
Frog, giant 
Buttery, faintly algal
11 Goat, giant Mutton
12
Herd animal
Varies, but probably beef or mutton
13 Horse or Mule Stringy mutton, lots of crunchy bits
14
Irishdeer or Stag
Venison
15 Lamprey Fish
16 Lizard Cross between chicken and fish, many bones
17 Otter, giant Oily, extremely fatty pork
18
Owl, giant
Depressing, horrible chicken
19
Pike, giant
Fish
20
Ram, giant
Mutton
21
Rat, giant
Very stringy pork, many bones
22
Ray
Fish, but crunchy and bitter
23 Sealion Oily, fatty pork
24
Shark
Fish, but crunchy, bland or slightly bitter
25
Snake, giant
Cross between chicken and fish, many bones 
26
Squid, giant or Octopus, giant
Fish, but rubbery and chewy
27
Turtle, giant
Absolutely delicious and unique
28 Toad, giant Buttery, faintly algal. More bitter than frog. 1-in-20 chance of mild hallucinations.
29
Weasel, giant
Oily, extremely fatty, but also stringy pork
30
Whale
Fatty, bland, and faintly acidic

D20 Rare Normal Meats

These meats aren't likely to be served often (except in Foreign Parts), but they could be the centerpiece of a magnificent feast.

d20 Creature Flavour or Effect
1
Ape or Baboon
Bitter pork
2 Axe beak Chicken
3 Baluchitherium Very dense, bitter beef, requires 12+hrs of boiling
4 Badger or Wolverine  Stringy pork
5 Bear Oily, extremely fatty, but also faintly bitter pork
6 Dog Stringy mutton
7 Dinosaur Cross between chicken and fish, very dense
8 Eagle, giant Acidic chicken
9 Elephant Very dense, bitter beef, requires 12+hrs of boiling
10 Flightless bird Chicken
11 Hippopotamus Fatty, dense, bitter beef.
12 Hyena or Jackal or Wolf Stringy pork
13
Jaguar or Leopard or Lion or Lynx, giant or Tiger
Very stringy, very bitter pork.
14
Mammoth or Mastodon
Very dense, bitter beef, requires 12+hrs of boiling
15
Porcupine, giant
Oily, extremely fatty, but also stringy pork that tastes like birch
16
Rhinoceros
Very dense, bitter beef, requires 12+hrs of boiling
17 Roc Chicken
18
Sea horse, giant
Like a deep fried shoelace
19
Skunk, giant
Oily, fatty pork
20
Titanothere
Very dense, bitter beef, requires 12+hrs of boiling

1d10 Normal Insects and Other Meats

These are unlikely to be served (except in Foreign Parts, where people eat anything).

d10 Creature Flavour or Effect
1 Anhkheg or Ant, giant or Beetle, giant Bitter and crunchy, with a sharp aftertaste of vinegar
2 Centipede, giant Faintly fishy, crunchy
3
Crab, giant or Crayfish, giant
Faintly fishy, rubbery
4 Larva, mundane Buttery
5 Leech, giant Very bitter, extremely rubbery, copper aftertaste
6 Portuguese man-o-war, giant Squishy. Instant horrible death unless very, very carefully prepared.
7 Scorpion, giant Bitter and crunchy
8 Slug, giant Bitter, extremely rubbery
9
Spider or Tick, giant
Bitter and crunchy, usually a chemical aftertaste
10
Wasp, giant
Bitter and crunchy, possibly salty
People
Eating most of the things on this list would be considered impolite or insufficiently rewarding. Adventurers will still try though. You could also roll to see what the trolls are roasting over the fire tonight. Intelligent creatures with significant magical effects are listed in the Special Creatures section. Eating fresh People might turn you into a wendigo. Eating rotten people might turn you into a ghoul.

d10 Creature Flavour or Effect
1 Brownie or Halfling Fatty pork
2 Bugbear Really bad mutton
3 Centaur or Minotaur  Fatty pork, blending into stringy mutton or beef
4 Dwarf or Gnome Fatty pork
5 Elf Pork, cures acne and dandruff
6 Giant Fatty, very dense pork, requires 12+hrs of boiling
7
Gnoll
Fatty, very acidic pork
8
Goblin or Hobgoblin
Fatty pork, acidic aftertaste
9
Halfling
Fatty pork, slightly tastier than usual
10
Harpy
Mix of pork and chicken, tastes absolutely foul, provides no healing. Save vs Nausea.
11
Ixitxachitl or Sea Hag
Fish, but crunchy and bitter
12
Jackalwere or Lycanthrope
Fatty pork or creature's flavour. Save vs intermittent partial lycanthropy
13
Kobold
Fatty pork, acidic aftertaste
14
Lamia or Naga
Mix of pork, chicken, and fish. Extremely delicious.
15 Leprechaun Stale marshmallows
16
Lizard man
Cross between chicken and fish
17
Locathah
Fish
18
Men
Fatty pork
19
Merman
Mix of fatty pork and fish
20 Nixie Fish
21
Nymph
The finest pork, and shame
22
Ogre
Fatty, dense pork, tastes faintly of beer
23
Orc
Fatty pork, acidic aftertaste
24
Pixie
Like a very dry piece of candied beef jerky. Explodes in a puff, Save or hallucinate.
25
Sahuagin
Fish
26
Satyr
Mix of pork and mutton. Delicious and slightly intoxicating.
27
Sprite
Candy, Save or hallucinate
28
Sylph
Sugar-free candy, guilty aftertaste
29
Triton
Fish
30
Troglodyte
Cross between chicken and fish

You Can't Eat That!

The creature evaporates, sublimates, reverts to its home dimension, or vanishes completely. Included for the sake of completeness. If my PCs decide to eat incorporeal creatures on a regular basis I'll write an appendix.

Aerial servant, Demons (all varieties), Devils (all varieties), Djinni, Efreet, Elemental, Ettin, Ghast, Ghost, Groaning spirit (Banshee), Hell hound, Imp, Invisible stalker, Night Hag, Nightmare, Quasit, Shadow. Spectre, Thought eater, Titan, Water weird, Will-o-(the)-wisp, Wind walker, Wraith



Special Creatures

Now we're getting to the really interesting stuff. This is what you tuned in to see. Many of these creatures are high-risk, high-reward meals. Apply the effects once per person per meal. The magic system listed (it's very rarely important) is the GLOG magic system. You can replace "magic dice" with "caster level".

Do not tell the players the exact or complete result of a roll on one of these tables. If an entry doesn't require you to roll on a table, consider rolling anyway and looking puzzled, just for effect.

Basilisk

Flavour: cross between chicken and fish
Notes: throat glands contain 1 to 4 (depending on size) potions of stone to flesh

d10 Result
1 Chip a Tooth. Save or lose 1 HP.
2-9 No extra effect.
10 Delicious Lizard-Flesh. Heal 1 HP and restore sensation to numbed limbs.
Can't find the source for this one, but according to internet wisdom, it's an oyster,

Beholder
Flavour: flesh crackles like dry french fries. Invisible ichor drips upwards from your chin. In the distance, howling, or music.
Notes: must be eaten raw, and quickly. 

d10 Result
1-2 Screaming Madness. Save or become permanently insane.
3-4 Outsider Flesh. Save vs Con. If you pass, gain 1 random mutation. If you fail, gain 1d6+1 random mutations.
5-7 Twisting Cells. Permanently gain +2 to a random stat and -2 to a different random stat.
8-9 Eye Rays. Gain a random spell. 1. Charm Person, 2-3. Eye Laser, 4. Fear, 5. Sleep 6. Telekinetic Shove. If you are not a spellcaster, Save or immediately cast the spell on a random target using d4 magic dice. If you pass your Save, you can cast the spell once per day using 1 MD, firing it from a random eye.
10 Nautral Magic. You gain 1 Magic Dice and 1 spell slot. If you were not one already, you become a spellcaster.

Black Pudding

Flavour: highly acidic, jelly-like, but dense
Notes: individual cells of the black pudding are perfectly capable of growing into new black puddings. If cooked in lye, becomes a delicious stew with no unusual properties (as cooked Normal Meat). If frozen solid (extreme cold required), becomes pudding popsicles (as Normal Meat).

d10 Result
1 Instant Death. A few cells got into your lungs. You die spewing blood.
2-8 Slightly Slower Death. You live for 1d6 days as the black pudding eats you from the inside out. You know something is wrong after 1 day.
9 Too Weak. Your stomach acid dissolves the ooze. No extra effect.
10 Pudding Symbiote. The black pudding finds a niche in your biology. You are immune to non-magical diseases. Your natural lifespan doubles. Your bodily fluids are acidic. When you die, a new black pudding will form.

Blink Dog

Flavour: stringy mutton, yellow and marbled with fat, and with a strange flickering taste.
Notes: if you eat only fresh blink dog for a month, you gain their the teleport ability below for the next month. If you do this for a full year, you gain the ability permanently. Very few people know this, and blink dogs are exceedingly rare.

d10 Result
1 Pop! You vanish and reappear 1d6' away, in a random direction. If this intersects you with a solid object, you will probably die.
2-9 No extra effect, save that your weight fluctuates slightly for a week.
10 Aha! For the next 1d6 minutes, once per round, you can instantly teleport to any location within 30' that you can see.

Brain Mole

Flavour: thin meat that hums like a spinning top, tastes like fat and grit. Shakes constantly.
Notes: One brain mole allows one person to roll on the table below. There's not enough meat to share. If pickled in brandy for a month or more, add +1 to the roll. You can buy pickled brain moles in strange shops for 5gp.


d10 Result
1 Anyeruism. Some dying twitch pops a vital part of your brain. You fall over mid-swallow, dead.
2-6 Splitting Headache. No extra effect.
7-9 The Scent. For the next 1d6 hours, you can smell any magic and any magical creatures in a 100' area, even through walls.
10 The Wailing. As the Scent, but for the next 1d6 hours any spellcasters targeting you must Save or take 1d10 damage. The spell they were trying to cast also fails.

Bulette

Flavour: beef that burns like a pepper. Uncultured people might think they are dying. Beneath the heat, there is a mild, smoky flavour that pairs nicely with yogurt or cheese.
Notes: as Normal Meat, but the spicy flavour might cause PCs to panic. Pretend to be quite concerned and roll some dice. The effects typically last 10 minutes.

Carrion Crawler

Flavour: old socks, mouldy bread, and rotten meat. Despite the flavour, the meat is surprisingly filling.
Notes: If dried or salted, rations of carrion crawler flesh count as 2 rations. They still smell awful.

d10 Result
1-5 Carrion. Save vs Con or lose any benefit from the meal, and spend the rest of the day queasy and gassy.
6-9 No extra effect.
10 Look, a penny! You discover 1d10cp or jewelry of the equivalent value in a cyst-like sack. If you roll 10cp, the value is 1d10gp instead.

Catoblepas

Flavour: off-cuts of beef dipped in motor oil and then rolled in chaff. The entire creature is made of off-cuts and trimmings.
Notes: cooking, salting, or even seasoning the meat gives you -1 to the roll. Your best bet is just to throw it away.

d10 Result
1-2 Heavy Head. Your skull turns to stone for 1d6 days. Save or it is permanent. You can still function but your neck becomes very, very sore. You can't swim and you spend most of your time staring at your boots.
3-5 Squishy. You bite into a pocket of unpleasant texture or flavour. Save or lose any benefit from the meal.
5-10 It's Just Awful. No extra effect.

Cerebral Parasite

Flavour: very faint, like eating a ball lightly salted of cotton wool.
Notes: these creatures are merely invisible, not immaterial. In my system, they apply a penalty to your Magic Dice rolls (-1 per parasite), but are otherwise harmless.

d10 Result
1-2 Parasite Eggs. Hatch in 1d6 days, producing 1d6 more parasites that you sneeze out in a shower of magic sparks. They flee your presence.
3-4 Strong Negative Emotion. Roll 1d6. 1. Rage, 2. Sorrow, 3. Fear, 4. Unnatural Lust, 5. Jealousy, 6. Greed. Lasts 1 minute.
5-7 Spellburst. Save. If you succeed, roll on the Spell Mutation table if you have a spell in your head. If you fail, take 1 damage.
8-10 Strong Positive Emotion. Roll 1d6. 1. Joy, 2. Hope, 3. Excitement, 4. Friendship, 5. True Love, 6. Charity. Lasts 1 minute.

Chimera

Flavour: varies depending on the part you are eating, but always crackles with magic. 
Notes: you have to eat the heart, or a large piece of all composited creatures, to roll on the table below. You will instinctively know to eat the heart if you eat any other part of a chimera.

d10 Result
1-3 Magic Dragon Fire. Save or Die. If you Save, your can spit fire puffs of fire once per hour (enough to light a candle, but not enough to deal damage). If you sneeze, you use up the fire charge.
4-6 Magic Goat Sense. Gain +1 Wisdom. Your pupils become rectangular.
7-9 Magic Lion Rage. Gain +1 Strength. You must Save vs Wisdom to retreat from any fight. You can Save once per round.
10 Chimerical Form. Gain 2 additional heads and a massive ego. Each one is from (1d4): 1. Normal Meats, 2. Rare Normal Meats, 3. Insects or Other Meats, 4. People. The heads like you as much as siblings do, are intelligent, and have the abilities of their base creature. Your HP and mass increase by 50%

Cockatrice
Flavour: chicken
Notes: throat glands contain 1 potion of stone to fleshThe cockatrice's contact petrification ability lasts 1 hour after it is killed. You can tie it to a stick and beat people with it, or shred it and create a very deadly meat-mist. After 1 hour, the meat becomes Normal Meat. The only way to roll on the table below is to immediately cook the cockatrice over a pure coal fire and eat it within the hour.

d10 Result
1 Not Cooked All the Way Through. You are automatically petrified for 1d20 hours.
2-9 Marvelous! It's so juicy! Heal fully and gain +1 permanent HP.
10 A Meal Fit For a King. As Marvelous, but also Save or pass out for 10 minutes from sheer gustatory delight.

Couatl

Flavour: cross between fish and chicken, chased with octarine fat. The meat is so magical your eyes water and your hair stands on end. Any spells you have in your brain flee and return at sunrise the next day.
Notes: fleeing spells may damage your hat.


d10 Result
1-2 Horrible Roiling Change. Save vs Con. If you pass, gain 1 random mutation. If you fail, gain 1d6+1 random mutations.
3-4 Brain Fireworks. Sparks of magical fire shoot from your ears and nose. It's not painful, but it is asusing to watch.
5-7 Egomania. Permanently gain +2 Charisma and an insufferable swagger.
8-9 Polymorph. For the next 1d6 hours, you can change your form as per the polymorph self spell. When the effect ends, you must Save to revert to your natural form (if you aren't already in that form).
10 Nautral Magic. You gain 1 Magic Dice and 1 spell slot. If you were not one already, you become a spellcaster.

Displacer Beast
Flavour: rubbery, buzzing mutton. Displacer beast meat appears 3' away from its actual position, but slowly slides back to its actual position, losing all unusual properties within 1 hour. 
Notes: the easiest way to eat a displacer beast is to close your eyes. Until the meal dissolves or an hour passes, the apparent position of your chewed food might be outside your body.

d10 Result
1-9 It's Just OK. No extra effect.
10 Displaced. You permanently appear to 2 inches away from your current position at all times. You know where you are; observers do not. 

Doppleganger
Flavour: extremely unpleasant, like biting into a bag of frozen peas, except warm. Tastes of ammonia and straw.
Notes: dopplegangers are extremely magical and, if killed, extremely hideous. 

d10 Result
1-5 Doppleganger Takeover. The doppleganger's cells convert you into a doppleganger. In 1d10 days, your mind will be erased. You have terrible nightmares until then.
6-8 Shifting Features. For the next 10 minutes, you can alter your form and body as if it were made out of clay. Any changes after 10 minutes become permanent. If you remove anything vital (your head, your heart, etc.), you will still die, but limbs can be adjusted, blemishes can be removed, and wounds healed. You are restored to full HP.
10 Doppleganger Symbiosis. Once per day, you can alter your appearance to match that of any other humanoid creature you have observed. 

Dragon

Flavour: powerful, raw magic. The meat feels heavy but flakes like fish. You'll never have cavities again. Your breath smells better. Your bald spot vanishes and your eyesight improves. You feel like the "after" picture in a thousand internet ads.
Notes: this might be a bad idea. If you don't meet the dragon's unique death condition, you will sicken and wither a year and a day from the dragon's death. And then it will hunt you and kill you. Most people don't know about this. Dragon parts are so valuable to wizards and alchemists that eating them, raw or cooked, is almost sacrilegious. If you consume the dragon's heart (a suitable meal for one person), roll 3 times on the table.

d10 Result
1-2 Shattered Frame. Save or die. If you die, you explode (10' radius, d6 damage). If you Save, you gain 1 random mutation, edited to make it dragon-themed.
3-5 Dragon Revitalization. You heal fully, are cured any non-magical diseases, and regrow any missing limbs or features with a loud popping sound.
6-7 Raw Power. Save. If you fail, take sufficient damage to reduce you to 0HP. If you succeed, gain +1 to two random characteristics.
8 Hoard. Whatever the dragon hoarded - coins, de-limbed knights, paintings - now smells unique and distinct to you. You covet it.
9 Scaleskin. Your skin becomes tough and segmented. You cannot wear armour, but your AC or Defense is now as good as chainmail.
10 Dragon Vision. Save. If you succeed, gain Wizard Vision, the ability to see in the dark, and the ability to hypnotize small mammals by staring at them.

Dragonne
Flavour: tastes like mashed apples for some reason. Looks like meat, cuts like meat, tastes like applesauce.
Notes: the unique death condition for the draggone will be met as long as nobody says the words "apples", "dead", or "carry" (in any language) within 100' of the corpse. If they do, at noon the next day, the dragonne will burst out of the left ear of the person who said the word (dealing no damage but probably scaring the hell out of everyone) and fly off. It doesn't want to be near people who killed it last time. If nobody says the 3 words listed, the dragonne will stay dead. These three words might be unique to a particular draggone.

d10 Result
1-5 Strong Taste. You can't get the taste of apples out of your mouth. No extra effect.
6-8 Strength of the Draggone. Permanently gain +1 Strength
10 Hair. Your hair becomes luxurious and rich, by your culture and species standards of beauty. If you have no hair you grow a red-orange mane.

Dragon Turtle

Flavour: utterly delicious. Beyond description. Rapturous. Entire warbands have died trying to capture, cook, and eat a dragon turtle. 
Notes: dragon turtles are Normal Meat. A soup made from a dragon turtle bonds everyone who eats it together in friendship. For 1 week, no serious arguments can possibly occur between people who shared the meal. Compromises abound. Some near-mythical kings and emperors served dragon turtle soup before truce negotiations and conclaves. Even after the week has passed, all who enjoyed the meal together remember it fondly.

Dryad

Flavour: woody. What did you expect? Imagine sitting down to a nice meal of steamed log. Depending on the tree the dryad spawned from, there may also be sap. 
Notes: Dryad wood can be used to make potent magical items. Orthodox wizards in particular love dryad-wood staffs (+1 MD if properly tuned). Cooking a dryad requires very thin slices and very hot water. 

d10 Result
1-2 Stomach Seed. Save. If you succeed, you are bedridden for 1d4 days but survive. If you fail, a large plant will sprout from your stomach in 1d4 days. You feel nauseous.
3-5 Curse of the Dryad. Fruit rots in your hands. Crops wither around you. Trees drop branches on your head. The curse lasts until you stay in a church overnight.
6-9 Bloodsap. Your blood becomes thick and heavy. You cannot suffer from the Blood Loss condition. You may reroll any Save against spells or effects that target your blood. Vampires find you intriuging and will let you live, but they may imprison you to ensure a proper supply is maintained.
10 Plant Life. You count as a plant for the purposes of all spells. You can lie in the sun for 6hrs to gain the benefit of a meal. Plants think you are a weird goatberry bush or some other quick-moving species.

Ear Seeker

Flavour: crunchy, slightly acidic, faint hints of citrus
Notes: if you cook them well, ear seekers are merely Normal Meat. If you don't, you are infested with ear seekers (hatch in d20+4 hours, burrow inwards, kill you horribly unless cured or removed). Animist Wizards, whose spells can target ear seekers without damaging their hosts, sometimes serve ear seeker stew to unsuspecting guests.

Eye, Floating
Flavour: fish, but cool and mild, like menthol
Notes: The body of a floating eye fish is typically stewed in a sauce made from the fish's eye-jelly. There are no significant magical effects, but anyone eating a properly prepared stew will enjoy a deep, restful sleep with pleasant, hypnotic, fishy dreams. 

Eye of the Deep

Flavour: flesh bubbles like fried eggs. Invisible ichor drips upwards from your chin. In the distance, screams, and the sound of drums.
Notes: must be eaten raw, and quickly. 
d10Result
1-2Screaming Madness. Save or become permanently insane.
3-4Outsider Flesh. Save vs Con. If you pass, gain 1 random mutation. If you fail, gain 1d6+1 random mutations.
5-7Twisting Cells. Permanently gain +2 to a random stat and -2 to a different random stat.
8-9Eye Rays. Gain a random spell. 1. light, 2. illusion, 3. hold person, 4. hold monster. If you are not a spellcaster, Save or immediately cast the spell on a random target using d4 magic dice. If you pass your Save, you can cast the spell once per day using 1 MD, firing it from a random eye.
10Nautral Magic. You gain 1 Magic Dice and 1 spell slot. If you were not one already, you become a spellcaster.

Fungi, Violet

Flavour: rots your tongue on contact, so no one knows.
Notes: there might be a way to prepare violet fungi to avoid the flesh-rotting effects of their excretions, but to date, no one has discovered it. Soaking in water, boiling in lye, cooking thoroughly, and even magical purification have no effect. If you eat any part of a violet fungus, Save or die. Even if you Save, your tongue, teeth, and nose rot off immediately. Take 1d6 permanent Constitution damage and permanently lose the same amount of HP. A mixture of violet fungi squeezing and alcohol will cure petrification but must immediately be washed off with vinegar.


Koninklijke Bibliotheek, KB, KA 16, Folio 101r
Gargoyle
Flavour: gritty pork
Notes: the AD&D gargoyle is strange. Based on the art and the description, it's some sort of morlock-creature, fully made of flesh, fully rational, and utterly evil. Despite being "of a magical nature", they have no magic abilities at all. Eating them does nothing unusual. In my setting, gargoyles are stone elementals, and you can't really eat them.

Gas Spore
Flavour: texture of finely marbled beef, flavor of spinach and sage 
Notes: gas spores are delicious dungeon treats for savvy adventurers. The spores revert to a passive form within 1hr and can be carefully cleaned using water. The gas spore's meat is wonderfully rich. Boiled, baked, fried, or even eaten raw, it is a welcome treat. Gain +1 to the roll for each time you have personally prepared this dish before.
d10 Result
1 Not Cleaned Properly. A single spore embeds itself in your throat. Your throat constricts and your eyes bulge. You will die in 24hrs unless the spore is removed.
2-10 Delicious! Heal 1 HP, or 1 additional HP.

Gelatinous Cube

Flavour: battery acid and slowly spreading numbness. A handful of goop will remove the sting of any wound, and a small bite will numb an aching tooth. 
Notes: only roll on the table below if you eat the ooze raw. If used as a soup base, the ooze pre-digests tough meats and vegetables, making them more palatable.

d10 Result
1-3
Painful Death. The ooze, revitalized by your stomach acid, melts you from the inside out. Save or die in agony. If you Save, permanently lose 1d6 Constitution and HP.
4-5
Ooze Parasite. The ooze decides to stay in your stomach. It will eventually (1d6 weeks) grow so large you will burst or starve. Until then, it does you no harm. You may not even know you still have it inside you.
6-7
Too Weak. Your stomach dissolves the ooze. No extra effect.
8
Ooze Symbiote. The ooze infiltrates your digestive tract and organs, becoming a part of you. Gain +1 Constitution and +4 to Save vs Poison. Your skin becomes waxy and slightly tacky.
9
Ooze Integration.  As Ooze Symbiote. Also, the ooze consumes your organs and replaces their functions. You are mostly hollow inside. Only your bones and nerves remain. You Regenerate 1 HP per round but permanently lose 2 Strength.
10
Ooze Apotheosis. As Ooze Integration. Also, once per day, you can cast command with 2 magic dice on an ooze or slime you see. The dice do not return to your pool. You can give the ooze any command you could give a dog. Oozes will not harm you unless you attack them first.

Ghoul

Flavour: dry, faintly bitter. Smells a little like cooking oil.
Notes: if cooked, has a 10% chance of being Normal Meat (with a -4 penalty). Most of the time, cooking it simply makes it unpleasant and inedible. If eaten raw, Save or begin to crave the flesh of the dead. You become a ghoul in 24hrs. There is no cure, but some Animist Wizards, Necromancers, and other outcasts know secret methods for delaying the inevitable descent into madness.

Golem, Clay

Flavour: heavy clay, very squishy if soaked in water, otherwise hard enough to crack your molars. tastes of dust and residual magic.
Notes: for the ambitious and the deranged. Golem clay can be used to make walking ovens (for the traveling gourmand) or smeared on the face to remove wrinkles. If 2lbs or more are ingested, you must Save vs Con or become bedridden for 1 week. If you Save, you are fully healed and gain +2 permanent HP. If you attempt a second meal, Save or die. If you Save, permanently gain +2 Strength and +2 Constitution. Your weight triples and you can no longer swim or run.

Golem, Flesh

Flavour: pork, but oily and unpleasant. Sutures get stuck in your teeth.
Notes: made of Normal Flesh, but deeply unpleasant to eat. Take a -4 penalty to all Saves vs Dex for the next 8 hours as your flesh twitches unnervingly.

Golem, Iron or Stone
Flavour: metal or stone. You can't chew it, so you have to carve off a piece and swallow it whole.
Notes: provides a new Save against poison or disease. The residual magic lasts for 1 month after the golem has been killed. Stones the size of a marble are worth 5sp in town, assuming you can convince people that they work.

Gorgon

Flavour: high-quality beef with opalescent fat
Notes:  Despite their noxious breath and bad temper, gorgons can be farmed. A butchered gorgon is worth as much as 30 ordinary cows on the open market. Serving gorgon steaks (Normal Meat) is a rare treat, but not an unprecedented one. Gorgon milk is very nutritious and provides total immunity to poison for 1hr after ingestion.


Gray Ooze
See: Black Pudding

Green Slime
Flavour: mashed celery soaked in bleach
Notes: if eaten raw, causes instant, horribly painful, and deeply shameful death. If properly cooked (requires a cast iron pot, but is not difficult to do, even for amateurs), it becomes a nutritious green soup (as cooked Normal Meat). Chicken in Green Slime Soup is a dungeon staple. 


Griffon
Flavour: chicken rolled in flour or fine sand. It also whitens your teeth.
Notes: griffons are not particularly magical, so eating them has the same effects as Normal Meat. The only major bonus is that their finely gritted flesh can be used to polish armour, swords, and teeth. It's an acquired taste.

Hippocampus
Flavour: fishy, but the grain of the meat is unusual, more like beef than fish.
Notes: hippocampi are creatures fused by magic, and eating their flesh can be disastrous for anyone who is exposed to sunlight or spellcasting. Their flesh is Normal Meat, but exposure to octarine light, direct sunlight (not underwater), or spellcasting within an hour of eating a hippocampus requires you to roll on the table below.

d10 Result
1-5 Spliced. Your bottom half swaps with the nearest adjacent living creature larger than a mouse. If you have incompatible biologies (lizard + insect), Save or die in 5 minutes.
6-8 Squelched. Save or gain a random mutation. It will either be horse-based or fish-based.
10 Bolstered. Permanently gain +1 Strength.

Hippogriff

Flavour: chicken with little pockets of gelatin and burnt-smelling sauce.
Notes: a pale attempt to breed griffons with horses, to remove their lion-like nature and replace it with a more tractable horse nature. Needless to say, the attempts failed. The delicate flavour of the griffon was also spoiled in the process, although the magical fusion is stable. Their meat is Normal Meat.

Homunculus 
Flavour: blood-soaked clay, with the crackle of raw magic
Notes: homunculi evaporate within half an hour of death. There is only enough edible material for 2 people to eat a single homunculus.

d10 Result
1-2 Switched. With a horrific rending sound, you shrink to the size of a homonuclus, and a larger homonculus emerges from your shorn flesh. It is belligerent, intelligent, and fierce. Your stats, including HP, Attack, and Defense, are now 2.
3-4 Two Heads. A tiny homonculus head grows from your d4. 1. throat, 2. forehead, 3.belly, 4. shoulder. It constantly jabbers useless advice, nonsense, and half-formed spells. 
5-6 Wonderful Sleep. Save or fall asleep for 8 hours. You can choose to intentionally fail this Save. You dream deeply and peacefully.
7-8 Magically Delicious. Gain a random spell. If you are not a spellcaster, or if you have no spell slots currently free, Save or immediately cast the spell on a random target using d4 magic dice. If you cannot move the spell from your brain to your spellbook, it will not return.
9-10 Stolen Power. If the creator of the homonculus still lives, and you possess equal or higher MD, you can roll opposed Charisma to permanently steal one of their MD and make it your own. They will know about this, and a few details about your life and appearance.

Hydra
Flavour: acidic, fish-like, and greasy. The thick black blood of the hydra coats everything.
Notes: unless the hydra regrows its heads, its meat is Normal Meat (with a -4 penalty). If the hydra regenerates, roll on the table below with a -2 penalty. If the hydra's heart is soaked in saltwater and then cooked almost to the point of dryness, no penalty applies.

d10 Result
1-2 Horribly Painful Death. The hydra's vigorous desire to live overwhelms you. You burst in 1 round, spraying blood everywhere, and releasing 1d6 hydra larvae.
3-4 Delayed Horribly Painful Death. As above, except in 1d6 days
5-6 Burst of Regeneration. You heal fully, are cured any non-magical diseases, and regrow any missing limbs or features with a loud popping sound. Missing limbs have a 1-in-10 chance of ending in mouths instead of hands or feet.
7-8 Hydra's Venom. You grow 2 deadly poisonous fangs (d6). 
9 Hydra's Power. As Hydra's Venom, except you also gain permanently gain +1 Strength and Dexterity.
10 Hydra's Blessing. As Hydra's Power, except you also regenerate 1d6 HP per round. If you lose a limb, you regrow it in 1d6 days. Regrown limbs have a 1-in-10 chance of ending in mouths instead of hands or feet. If you are decapitated, you can Save to grow two new heads.

Intellect Devourer

Flavour: fat, greasy worms in chicken soup. Not much flavour and no real texture.
Notes: the brain of the intellect devourer must be eaten warm and raw. The creature's blood slowly turns to deadly poison within an hour of its death.
d10 Result
1-4 Madness. You are insane for 1d6 days.
5-6 Duel for Control. Save vs Intelligence. If you fail, the intellect devourer possesses you. If you succeed, no extra effect.
7-8 Mind's Eye. For the next 24hrs,  you can read the surface thoughts of anyone within 30'.
9-10 Mind Feeder. Permanently gain +2 Intelligence. You desire the souls of powerful spellcasters and scholars. You can inhale a dying person's soul to fully heal and gain +2 Intelligence for 24hrs. If the person was particularly stupid you gain no benefits.

Ki-rin
Flavour: an entirely unique meat, unlike anything else in Creation. Tastes faintly of cloves and earwax.
Notes: while the skin of a ki-rin is the most valuable component, the flesh beneath is prized by alchemists, for it acts as a filter to remove impurities from any liquid.
d10 Result
1-2 Pocket of Fire. Save or take d6 fire damage.
3-8 Celestial Lightness. For the next d6 hours, you float. You can walk on grass without disturbing a single blade. You cannot set off pressure-based traps. You sink very, very slowly in water.
9 Lightning's Friend. You are immune to lightning damage. If you would take more than 12 damage,  you are instead stunned for d6 rounds as lightning elementals hop through your brain.
10 Stormcaller. Strong emotions cause weather to manifest above you. Your rage calls thunderstorms, your fear calls wind, and your joy calls gentle rain and the sun. You may not know this. The weather shifts on a 6hr basis.

Lammasu
Flavour: bitter mutton with streaks of grey fat.
Notes: lammasu meat cannot be eaten by evil creatures, and since killing a lammasu is most likely an evil act, those who murder it, or know of its murder, cannot enjoy the spoils. The meat simply slides away as if repelled by a magnet. It can only be eaten by someone who has no idea of its origins. Even speculation is enough. If eaten by an animal it has no extra effects.
d10 Result
1-5 Lammasu Transformation. In 1d6 hours, you transform into a lammasu and fly away. Your goals and past life are utterly forgotten.
6-10 Fully Healed. You heal fully, are cured any non-magical diseases, and regrow any missing limbs or features. Your Charisma also permanently increases by +2.

Leucrotta 
Flavour: shockingly awful, like leather soaked in sour wine
Notes: leucrotta meat is Normal Meat, but anyone eating it must Save or believe that they have been cursed with the leucrotta's ugliness. This effect lasts for 1d10 days.

Lich
Flavour: dry, dead flesh with a hint of residual magic
Notes: a lich's body is infused with dark magic. Necromancers grind the bones to make tea and gain visions of the lich's ancient spells. Eating the flesh directly is much more dangerous.

Roll
Result
1-4
Lich Visions. Save or lose 1d6 Wisdom permanently. If you pass, you spend the next 1d6 minutes in a swirling vision of the ancient past. Treasure and secrets may be revealed to you.
5-8
Necromantic Drain. Save or take 1d6 damage. If you take 6 damage, you must Save or die. You appear to age 10 years.
9
Ancient Spells. Gain a random spell. If you are not a spellcaster, or if you have no spell slots currently free, Save or immediately cast the spell on a random target using d4 magic dice. If you cannot move the spell from your brain to your spellbook, it will not return.
10
Fossilized Brain. Gain +1 Wisdom and +1 HP permanently. Your flesh shrinks to your skin and becomes as thin as parchment.

Lurker Above 
Flavour: dense rubbery flesh with pockets of glue
Notes: meat from a lurker above is Normal Meat, but anyone who eats it finds that they are more flexible for the next 3 days. The glue dissolves slowly and can cause toothaches.
 

Manticore
Flavour: greasy beef with hints of liquorice and pepper
Notes: manticores are surly, hateful creatures, full of secrets and spite. Unless their meat is boiled in a silver pot, roll on the table below. Otherwise, the meat is Normal Meat.

d10 Result
1-3 Rumours. Make up 1 rumour about each other player. Players secretly vote on 1 rumour. That rumour becomes believed, although it is not necessarily true.
4-7 Spite. Save or hate a random nearby person for the next 7 days. You won't kill them, but you wouldn't mind seeing them die.
8-10 Lies. You cannot tell the truth, unless the truth would be more devastating than a lie or omission. This effect only ends if you spend a night in a church.

Medusa

Flavour: pork with flecks of gristle or cartilage
Notes: the body of the medusa is Normal Meat, but the head-snakes are slightly more magical (and much tastier), and require a roll on the table below. They are delicious fried or baked with lemon slices (+2 bonus to the roll). Each medusa has 10 snakes available.
d10 Result
1-3 Snake Poison. Turns out the snakes are both poisonous and venomous. Save vs Poison (d6).
4-8 Delicious! Heal 1 HP, or 1 additional HP.
9-10 Revitalized. You are immune to petrification and most poisons for the next 7 days. You gain a new Save against any ongoing poisons.

Mimic

Flavour: delicious, rubbery fish inside a hard shell
Notes: mimics are crustacean-like and revert to their true forms if killed. The meat of a mimic is Normal Meat with a +4 bonus if cooked or steamed. Most seasoned dungeon explorers know this and are delighted to discover a mimic. A large mimic served with butter is a true feast. 

Mind Flayer

Flavour: extremely rubbery, faint hints of wine and sulphur
Notes: mind flayer tentacles are an acquired taste, but some people consider them a delicacy. Roll on the table below if you eat the mind flayer's brain raw. All other parts of the creature are Normal Meat.
d10 Result
1-3 Parasites. The back of your head bursts open in 1d6 days, releasing d20 mind flayer larvae.
4-6 Flayer. You remember 1d6 things the Mind Flayer has seen or done. Save or permanently lose 2 Wisdom.
7-8 Mind Boost. Gain +2 Intelligence for the next 48 hours.
9-10 Mind over Matter. As Mind Boost, but permanent. Also permanently gain +2 Wisdom.

Mold, Brown
Flavour: mushrooms cooked in menthol and grease
Notes: brown mold cannot be cooked over a fire (for obvious reasons). Cold will only cause it to go dormant, unless the cold is intense and sustained. If frozen completely, it can be made into a soup broth, but this so dangerous very few people attempt it. If even a single spore remains, the heat will cause it to rapidly colonize the cooking pot, the campsite, or the lungs of anyone foolish enough to eat the soup. Coming across the remains of an adventuring party who mistook brown mold for yellow mold is not uncommon.

Mold, Yellow

Flavour: mushrooms cooked in butter and turmeric
Notes: yellow mold must be harvested and boiled immediately. Traditionally, squares of mold are illuminated, carefully cut, and then immediately plunged into boiling salted water. The resulting broth is extremely nutritious (as Normal Meat with a +2 bonus).

Morkoth
Flavour: bitter fish
Notes: morkoth meat is Normal Meat, but it has a soporific effect. Creatures eating it must Save or fall into a dream-like hypnotic trance for 1d10 hours. You can choose to intentionally fail this Save. When you awake, you have a 50% chance to gain the morkoth's spell reflection ability for the next 1d10 hours.

Mummy
Flavour: tar-like, black, and sticky. Hints of embalming spices and decay.
Notes: A surprisingly traditional practice. If you consume alchemically prepared mummy (10gp per dose), you have a 3-in-6 chance of curing any disease currently afflicting you. On a 6, or if you eat bits of mummy you found in a dungeon, roll on the table below.
d10 Result
1-2
Painful Lesions. Take 1d6 damage and lose any benefit from the meal.
3-4
Mummy Visions. Save or permanently lose 1d6 Wisdom. If you pass, spend the next 1d6 minutes in a swirling vision of the ancient past. Treasure and secrets may be revealed to you.
5-8
Mummy Rot. You contract the disease.
9
Ancient Spells. Gain a random spell. If you are not a spellcaster, or if you have no spell slots currently free, Save or immediately cast the spell on a random target using d4 magic dice. If you cannot move the spell from your brain to your spellbook, it will not return.
10
Necrotic Vigour. Gain +1 Constitution and +1 HP permanently. Your flesh becomes slightly grey and smells of incense and dust.

Neo-otyugh
See: Carrion Crawler

Ochre Jelly
Flavour: butterscotch
See: Gelatinous Cube

Otyugh
See: Carrion Crawler

Owlbear
Flavour: sticky black flesh, like treacle with tendons, tinged with octarine fat deposits.
Notes: if cooked over a pure coal fire, gain +2 to the roll on the table below.

d10 Roll
1-2
Eggs. Save vs Poison (d6) You can Save vs Con to take 1d6 permanent Con damage and vomit up a huge clot of black tar and owlbear eggs. Otherwise, you take d6 poison damage per minute until you are cured or you die in agony.
3-4
Sticky Meat. Save vs Con or lose any benefit from the meal, and spend the rest of the day coughing up black tar.
5-6
Black Teeth. Your teeth are permanently stained.
7
Delicious! Heal 1 HP, or 1 additional HP.
8
Owlbear’s Sight. You can see 50’ in near-total darkness for the next 1d6 hours. Save vs Fear against bright lights.
9
Owlbear’s Strength. Gain +2 Strength for the next 1d6 hours.
10
Fortified. Permanently gain +1 Strength and +1 HP. You grow a few feathers or quills.


Pegasus
Flavour: chicken 
Notes: Normal Meat, but it glows in the dark with faint white light. 

Peryton
Flavour: venison, but very dry
Notes: if cooked over a pure coal fire, gain +2 to the roll on the table below. The peryton's heart must be burned to meet the creature's unique death condition. If the heart is eaten, roll 3 times on the table below, with no bonus for cooking over a coal fire.
d10 Roll
1-4
Hideous Rebirth. Save or die of a heart attack. In 1d6 rounds, a newborn peryton bursts from your chest and flies away. 
5-7
Delicious! Heal 1 HP, or 1 additional HP.
8-10
Parasitic Antlers. Two antlers grow from the top of your head. They can be used as improvised weapons.

Piercer
Flavour: rich and delicious fish, with a slight alkali aftertaste
Notes: piercers are a dungeon delicacy. These "dungeon oysters" can be sealed and cooked in their stony shells and cracked to reveal Normal Meat with a +2 bonus. They need to be rinsed first to remove any undigested bats, goblins, or cave spiders.

Pseudo-dragon
Flavour: cross between chicken and fish, many bones, meat changes colour
Notes: pseudo-dragons are valuable companions, but if negotiations take a turn for the worse, they are also excellent meals.
d10 Roll
1-3 Chameleon Skin. For the next 1d10 hours, you can change your skin colour and texture at will.
4-6 Magic Resistance. For the next 1d10 hours, gain a +4 bonus to Save vs Magic.
7-9
Delicious! Heal 1 HP, or 1 additional HP.
10 Ego Boost. As Delicious, but you firmly believe you are invulnerable to damage for the next 1d10 hours. This is not true.

Purple Worm

Flavour: rubbery beef with an acidic aftertaste. Pale, purple-white, pulses slowly until cooked.
Notes: Normal meat, but way too much of  it. A typical purple worm could feed a village. A dead worm will inevitably attract carrion-feeders of all kinds. The segments can be rolled like barrels. In some areas, a fire is built in the middle of a segment, like roasting a tire from the inside out. The meat's flavour is vastly improved by pairing it with cheese or yogurt


Rakshasa
Flavour: stringy pork, tastes of evil and intrusive thoughts, and soot
Notes: rakshasa meat is difficult to cook. The fire will go out. The pot will crack. It will rain on your campsite. Your fork will snap in half and your onions will turn out to be mouldy. It's cursed meat. A team of 3 people working diligently can still cook a meal, but anything less and the disasters become overwhelming. Roll on the Wandering Monster table just before the meal is served.
d10 Roll
1-3 Cackling Madness. Save or go monomanically insane. You desire temples, worshipers, and giant statues. This effect is permanent.
4-6 Taste of Evil. Gain a +4 bonus to resist any spells or persuasion attempts for the next 12 hours.
7-8 Deeper Taste of Evil. As Taste of Evil, except permanent. Your eyes become cat-like. You become cruel and callous.
10 Helleportation. You are briefly teleported to Hell, where a horrific, disgusting, and apathetic group of clerks examine you and try to sort out your paperwork. You are sent back to the world in 1d6 hours later, arriving with 0 HP and a very interesting story.

Remorhaz

Flavour: delicate, extremely warm fish
Notes: r
emorhaz meat is heat-resistant Normal Meat. You can't cook it, but you can freeze it in long slices to make a sort of jerky. A slain remorhaz's spine will glow red-hot for days. Some barbarian tribes use them as cooking surfaces or impromptu forges. They will track and feed a remorhaz for years while stockpiling ore.


Roper
Flavour: gritty beef with strange crunchy lumps
Notes: dungeon explorers familiar with the delicious meat of the piercer might assume the roper has a similar flavour. They are sadly mistaken.
d10 Roll
1-3 Permanent Sleep. You instantly collapse and fall asleep. Save. If you pass, you wake up in 1d6 hours. If you fail, you cannot be woken.
4-6 Numb Tongue. You sound ridiculous for 1d6 hours.
7 Golden Centre. You discover coins worth 1d10 gp in a cyst.
8 Gemstone Centre. You discover a gem worth 2d10gp in a cyst.
9 Wakefulness. You are immune to paralyzing toxins or sleep-inducing effects for the next 24hrs. You do not sleep for the next 2 days.
10 Permanent Wakefulness. You never need to sleep again, although you can force yourself to sleep for 1 hour by making a difficult Save. You are permanently immune to paralyzing toxins or sleep-inducing effects. Once per month, Save vs Insanity.


Can't find the source for this one either. I think they're eels.
Rot Grub
Flavour: savory pockets of buttered pork
Notes: rot grubs are Normal Meat. You need to eat at least 6 to gain the benefits of a meal. Gain a +4 bonus if they are fried with butter and vegetables. In some very rich cities, you can buy paper bags full of fried rot grubs from street vendors.

Rust Monster
Flavour: awful, coppery, and bitter. Scrapes your teeth.
Notes: cooking does not improve the flavour or texture of rust monster meat. Add +2 to the roll if you soak the meat in bonemeal or lime for a night and a day. While this may leach some of the poisons out, it does nothing to diminish the harsh and acrid taste. 
Roll
Result
1-2
Metal Blood. You are poisoned by the metallic blood of the rust monster. Save or die immediately. If you pass, lose 1d6 Con per day, for 1d6 days, or until you are cured. Most antidotes and treatments will not cure heavy metal poisoning. 
3-6
Broken Teeth. You crack a molar on a particularly ferrous bit of flesh. Save vs. Constitution or lose any benefit from the meal.
7-8
Fortified. Permanently gain 1 HD (1d8 HP). Your flesh becomes slightly coppery.
9
Metal Sense. You can sense the presence of ferrous metals, as well as their approximate amounts, within 50’. Thick walls block this effect, but invisibility does not. The effect lasts for 1d10+1 days.
10
Rust Touch. Any ferrous metals that touch your bare skin or bodily fluids have a 25% chance to rust instantly. Metal tarnishes at your touch. Your blood has a 90% chance to rust ferrous metals instantly. This effect is permanent.

Salamander
Flavour: very bitter, greasy pork. Very warm. Has to be cooled to room temperature quickly, by plunging it into icewater or snow, or it will dissolve into slime before it can be safety eaten. 
Notes: You can't cook Salamander meat. You must cool the meat quickly and then devour it raw.
Roll Result
1-3 Pocket of Fire. Save or take d6 fire damage.
4-8 Warming Glow. For the next 1d6 days, your body temperature rises 30 degrees, without any negative effects. You reduce all fire damage by 2 and you gain a +4 bonus to Save against fire, heat, and dehydration.
9-10 Hyperglow. As Warming Glow, but permanent. Also, your body temperature increases by 10 degrees per day. After 11 days, your touch boils water. After 15 days, your touch inflicts 1d6 fire damage, and you cannot handle wood, paper, or leather without scorching it. Each day past the 15th, the you must Save vs Constitution or die. You do not need to Save if you are in an environment with an air temperature of 500 degrees. Your temperature stops rising after the 20th day. This effect can be removed as a curse.

Shambling Mound
Flavour: rotting lettuce, bad spinach, soggy carrots, grass, vinegar, and slime.
Notes: the core of a shambling mound contains enough fermented or pickled vegetables to feed 1d6+5 people. The meal counts as Normal Meat with a +2 bonus, but the flavour is an acquired taste. 

Shedu
Flavour: powerful, crunchy beef with a faint floral aftertaste
Notes: shedu meat cries out for justice. Pious people within 1d10 miles hear the cry as an incoherent call to action. Disputes break out in churches. Seers have wild visions. Stormclouds race from horizon to horizon.
Roll Result
1-3 Accursed Mark. Unless you ate the shedu to avoid starvation, or against your will, a black curse-mark appears on your forehead. All those who see it know what you did to the shedu, and why. You can cover the mark, but it will glow in holy places.
4-8 Ancient Spells. Gain a random spell. If you are not a spellcaster, or if you have no spell slots currently free, Save or immediately cast the spell on a random target using d4 magic dice. If you cannot move the spell from your brain to your spellbook, it will not return.
9-10 Ethereal Flicker. For the next 1d6 days, you can become intangible and invisible at will, or change back to your usual form, once per round.
Shrieker
Flavour: delicious mushrooms, delicate savory veins
Notes: shriekers are Normal Meat with a +2 bonus. They are a staple in most dungeon recipes.

Skeleton
Flavour: chalk and dust
Notes: eating the bones of a skeleton provides no benefit. Rumour has it that sucking on a finger-bone cures toothache, so some adventurers will keep a bone or two in their packs.

Slithering Tracker
Flavour: salt and vinegar, dries you out as you eat it
See: Gelatinous Cube

Sphinx
Flavour: sour pork
Notes: sphinx meat is Normal Meat, but anyone eating it has a 50% chance to understand any language they hear for the next 1d6 days

Stirge
Flavour: coppery, but crunchy exterior
Notes: stirges are traditionally held by the proboscis, dipped in batter and fried. The wings are removed. A stirge cooked in this way is Normal Meat with a +5 bonus. Some brave farmers deliberately feed the stirges strange blood to induce potion-like effects.

Strangle Weed
Flavour: seaweed. Salty spinach. Rubbery if wet, flaky if dried.
Notes: strangle weed can be used as a standard ingredient, but it can also be used to tightly wrap provisions, if fresh cuttings are taken. The air-tight wrapper preserves food very well. It can also be used to squeeze water out of boiled cabbage.

Su-Monster
Flavour: gritty grey pork
Notes: su-monster meat is Normal Meat, but anyone eating it must Save or roll on the table below. Anyone eating the brain automatically rolls.
Roll Result
1-4 Crush. Take 1d6 damage and develop a splitting headache.
5-7 Blast. Flung 1d4x10' in a random direction, taking 1d6 damage per 10' traveled.
8-10 Burst. Swap Intelligence characteristics with the nearest adjacent living creature larger than a dog. The effect lasts 1d6 days. When the effect is about to end, Save, or it is permanent.

Trapper
See: Lurker Above

Treant
See: Dryad

Troll
Flavour: stringly, greasy pork with lumps. It squirms as you eat it.
Notes: troll meat becomes Normal Meat with a -4 penalty if cooked. If a 1 is rolled, roll on the table below anyway.

Roll Result
1-3 Internal Conflict. Some part of the troll refuses to die. You feel full but queasy and lose any benefit from the meal. In 1d6 hours, a hideous fetal troll will crawl up your throat. Save or die.
4-6 Regeneration. You heal fully, are cured any non-magical diseases, and regrow any missing limbs or features with a loud popping sound.
7 Troll Cast. As Regeneration, but any healed areas take on a distinctly troll-like appearance.
8 Fortified. Gain +1 Strength and +1 HP permanently. You grow a green-grey patches.
9 Troll Sprouts. As Fortified, but your hair falls out and is replaced by repulsive black bristles. If you lose a limb, there is a 1-in-6 chance it will crawl away and grow into a troll-like version of you.
10 Troll Ascendance. As Fortified and Regeneration, but you will slowly become a ravenous troll over the next 1d6 days. This effect can be cured as a curse.

Umber Hulk
Flavour: smooth, mottled fish with an acidic aftertaste
Notes: umber hulks are another dungeon delicacy. Roasted in their shells, they are traditionally served with cabbage and wine. Their meat is Normal Meat with a +2 bonus. Anyone eating the eyes must Save or permanently lose 1d6 Intelligence.


Aberdeen Bestiary
Unicorn
Flavour: delicious, slightly crunchy beef with sparkling octarine veins.
Notes: unicorn meat can be cooked, boiled, fried, or dried. Always roll on the table below.

Roll Result
1-4 Cursed. Permanently reduce your maximum HP by 1d6. Any morally good or innocent creature (slugs, children, sweet but stupid dogs) will treat you with suspicion and fear, although they will not know why.
5-8 Healed. You heal fully and are cured any magical or non-magical diseases. Missing limbs or features do not regrow.
9-10 Unlimited Power. As Cursed, but also gain +1 to any 2 characteristics of your choice. You also gain 1 Magic Dice and 1 spell slot. If you were not one already, you become a spellcaster.

Vampire
Flavour: dry pork, faintly spiced
Notes: vampire meat is often served by truly decadent nobles or fearless killers. If cooked in holy water or sacred oils it becomes Normal Meat with a -4 penalty. Otherwise, roll on the table below.
Roll Result
1-2 Life Drain. Permanently reduce your maximum HP by 1d6. Age 2d10 years.
3-4 Dark Thoughts. Save or go slightly insane for 1d6 days. You brood on morbid things, prefer lonely walks, isolated moors, and decrepit castles. You might stab someone in a half-hearted way, just to alleviate the boredom.
5-6 Curse of the Vampire. Save or desire blood. The thirst will never leave you. Save again, with a -1 penalty per blood-drinking incident, or become a vampire when you die. 
9 Ancient Spells. Gain a random spell. If you are not a spellcaster, or if you have no spell slots currently free, Save or immediately cast the spell on a random target using d4 magic dice. If you cannot move the spell from your brain to your spellbook, it will not return.
10 Necrotic Vigour. Gain +1 Constitution and +1 HP permanently. Your flesh becomes ghostly pale and your eyes become dark and malevolent.

Wight
Flavour: cold, grey pork. No matter how you cook it, it will always be cold.
Notes: while the dark spirit of the wight has fled, their home retains echoes of their power
Roll Result
1-2 Level Drain. Lose d10x10% of a level in XP. Your skin becomes cold and your heartbeat slows for 1d6 days.
3-4 Life Drain. Permanently reduce your maximum HP by 1d6. Age 2d10 years.
5-10 Memory Cleanse. Forget 1d10 painful memories. Permanently gain +1 Charisma, -1 Wisdom.

Wyvern
Flavour: fish, tinged with very faint magic. Impressively opalescent.
Notes: wyvern meat is a poor substitute for the awesome power of dragon meat, but might fool the credulous. It is Normal Meat, with a 1% chance of rolling on the Dragon table.

Xorn

Flavour: stone
Notes: xorn have no conventionally edible parts. However, if killed, they are very useful as a double-boiler or stove. Any magical meat cooked in a Xorn furnace allows a player to reroll a Save against the meat's effects. If the effects do not request the player to Save, there is no benefit.

Yeti
Flavour: thin pork with a glistening, fatty sheen

Notes: yeti meat is Normal Meat, but it also provides a +2 bonus to Save vs cold, ice, blizzards, etc. for 2 hours after the meal.

Zombie
Flavour: disgusting, rotting pork
Notes: zombie flesh is Normal Meat (with a -4 penalty). You may need to Save to avoid becoming a ghoul if you eat several meals of zombie flesh.

9 comments:

  1. God Damn! This is a fantastic post and now I'm going to have to resist the urge to go back to my bestiary and add the tastes and effects of eating meat of everything. Seeing there is an entry for what the flesh of man tastes like is there anything like a Wendigo, or a monster born from someone eating the flesh of man in your setting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah hell! I forgot to include an image I wanted to include! One second. Also, yes. Many ghouls and wendigos.

      Delete
  2. Very cool stuff! Very thorough. I have had at least one or two players who I could have used this material on/for.

    Thanks also for the link to Occultesque.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Some of those art pieces look like they're from dead folks, but some are still active and making neat content, so credit, links, or acknowledgement would be a neat thing.

    In particular, if folks like food, I think it's worthy to just give them to the link to Dungeon Meshi on amazon, both to help them out and to help out that amazing mangaka.

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    1. Pretty sure all but the 2 comics are from people so dead they qualify as historical. Links added. And Dungeon Meshi already has a link in paragraph 4. :)

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    2. Good note! I should be more diligent in my perusal of bluetext.

      The amount of work done here is quite incredible. It's a pity there's no market for this sort of thing in mainstream, only OSR. I'd love to see mainstream-fueled artwork of all the delicious options you've clearly got arrayed here, alongside artwork of people belching flames because of an unexpected dietary complication.

      Oh well. One day maybe it will happen.

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  4. Whelp, this gave my Stewscape game a major boost.

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  5. The DragonHalf RPG is the only other place I know of where eating monsters is in the rules...

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