2017/07/19

Horrible Peasant NPC Generator

Partially inspired by this post, and partially by just how many peasants the PCs are likely to encounter on their travels (if they're traveling through civilized areas)

Other useful articles:

1d100 Peasant Grievances
1d50 Reasons the Peasants are Revolting
If you want a more refined sort of person, from a different age, try the Dickensian NPC Generator
You could also use this table to vastly improve the quality of your Camp Followers and hirelings.

Peasants don't get last names because nobody really cares. They get smells instead. Peasants usually smell like unwashed people, but underneath the body odour there are other scents.


Name Odour Appearance Demeanour
1 John stale beer sweats profusely devout
2 John rotten vegetables permanent grimace devout
3 John dried herbs fidgets with anything in hands devout
4 John frying oil dribbles devout
5 John fecal sweat bulbous goiter devout
6 John peat smoke youthful, unsmiling face  devout
7 John bitter sweat whistling voice devout
8 John ice-cold water deep, booming voice devout
9 John goose blood one dense eyebrow devout
10 John wood shavings extraordinarily crooked nose devout
11 William raw sulphur almost bald stoic
12 William urine splayed, wide-nostrilled nose stoic
13 William chalk dust slouching stoic
14 William rotting fish sheds clouds of dust stoic
15 William flour lumpen stoic
16 Robert salt missing limb stoic
17 Robert soggy paper narrow face stoic
18 Robert rotten fruit blind in one eye stoic
19 Thomas acidic sweat sunken head and short limbs stoic
20 Thomas oysters deep-sunk, lidded eyes  stoic
21 Thomas cat hair prominent, sail-like ears passive
22 Richard onions one tooth passive
23 Richard garlic concave forehead passive
24 Richard battery acid hooked, dribbling nose passive
25 Henry olives dotted with warts  passive
26 Roger pond scum prominent, angular chin passive
27 Walter butter mouth-breathing passive
28 Adam dry, well-rubbed leather smiling, open face passive
29 Nicholas sour milk coated head to toe in muck passive
30 Hugh ozone has a silent partner passive
31 Peter molten rubber speckled with sores  hopeless
32 Geoggrey wet dog wiry-haired  hopeless
33 Ralph mushroom old burn scars hopeless
34 Simon mashed earthworms ferocious squint hopeless
35 Gilbert dry, very fine dust deaf in one ear hopeless
36 Edmund charcoal furious eyes hopeless
37 Phillip soil rheumy, raw eyes  hopeless
38 Stephen hot blood feverish movements hopeless
39 Alan pine carbuncle hopeless
40 Lawrence burnt pork fleas and lice hopeless
41 Andrew musk bandy-legged lazy
42 Reginald dry straw slow-witted lazy
43 James stale bread bafflingly beautiful lazy
44 Bartholemew roses long, winding scar lazy
45 Eli violets lopsided body lazy
46 Giles burnt leather stiff as a board gluttonous
47 Jordan wine stump teeth lustful
48 Matthew damp mouldy bread large mouth, like a fish greedy
49 Michael cottage cheese facial abscess prideful
50 David compost pale, cracked skin slothful
51 Alice rye bread vein-coated neck wrathful
52 Alice horse sweat thin, pale lips  envious
53 Alice freshly cut grass back bent like a hoop incompetent
54 Alice camel haggard and hunted blasphemous
55 Alice wet horse pig-like nose petty
56 Alice ash cross-eyed ignorant
57 Alice rotting flowers long, skeletal fingers  ignorant
58 Alice sun-baked egg blubber lips ignorant
59 Alice vinegar mismatched arms ignorant
60 Alice mouldy bread vaguely suggestive comments ignorant
61 Joan porridge long-necked  ignorant
62 Joan metal shavings wipes nose constantly ignorant
63 Joan flax dust dented head ignorant
64 Joan wood smoke unusually large head  ignorant
65 Joan wet wool flicking tongue, cracked lips ignorant
66 Agnes pickled cabbage irregular, yellow teeth diseased
67 Agnes rotten meat phlegm-spraying cough diseased
68 Agnes freshly baked bread bird sits on shoulder diseased
69 Margery grease flat, pancake face diseased
70 Margery asparagus tufts of irregular hair diseased
71 Margery urine and blood slab-faced skeptical
72 Isabel skin flakes extraordinary compressed  skeptical
73 Isabel lavender hissing, raspy voice skeptical
74 Isabel wet clay sunken head and short limbs skeptical
75 Margaret tar twitches and jerks skeptical
76 Emma blackberries thunderous flatulence frantic
77 Juliana sharp raw sewage stump-fingered frantic
78 Christine cedar small, tightly pursed mouth  frantic
79 Katherine cloves cannot make eye contact frantic
80 Beatrice mothballs crooked back frantic
81 Elizabeth roast chicken loose skin frantic
82 Ellen old spinach remarkably small head frantic
83 Mary wax  little goggling eyes frantic
84 Amice rotten eggs spindly, knob-jointed limbs  frantic
85 Sibilla wet cereal no chin at all frantic
86 Cecily pungent blue cheese bloated stomach  surly
87 Sara damp straw languid, calm speech surly
88 Avice lye terrifying laugh surly
89 Isolda pus widely set eyes surly
90 Lucy wet mortar potato-shaped nose surly
91 Mariota mouse urine astonishingly old surly
92 Ann yeast hideous grin and winking eyes surly
93 Annabel pig shit oddly effeminate, or masculine surly
94 Anastasia horse shit half-asleep  surly
95 Avelina goat shit missing fingers surly
96 Letitia dog shit waddling gait rebellious
97 Agatha cow shit stutter rebellious
98 Eustacia ten different kinds of shit sagging lips rebellious
99 Sabrina no odour wild, tangled hair rebellious
100 Susanna eye-wateringly strong (reroll) prominent mole or boil  rebellious


Names collected from here.

3 comments:

  1. This is a fun list. Because 4 x d100 is kinda awkward to roll: https://codepen.io/isaacwilliams/full/MoMNVK/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rad Dude aptly describes you!

      Delete
    2. Well that's neat as heck!

      Delete