2017/12/12

1d100 Seduction Side Effects

If your character successfully seduces someone, roll on the table below to see what happens. The table below is system-less, setting-less, and timeless. If you play a Goliard, you can avoid skill tests and other impediments and skip straight to the seduction bit. It's one of the major perks of the class.
Seduction of Lancelot Le livre de Lancelot du Lac, 1401-1425


1d100
1 Duel. At dawn. To the death, or at least the maiming. Could be fair, could be mob justice.
2 A Horrible Scheme. You were somehow drawn into a criminal act. You are complicit. There is a conspiracy.
3 Things Got Out of Hand. Roll again twice on this table with a -20 penalty.
4 Eternal Shame. The family of your target wants you dead and disgraced. They have surprising resources.
5 Dire Revelation. You accidentally said something that puts you, your friends, or your target in danger.
6 Major Lie. You made a promise you can't keep. If you fail it, people might die.
7 Regret. Save vs. Fear (Shame) if you ever see your target again. 
8 Robbed Blind. Lose all but 1d6 of each type of coin you were carrying, plus any other obvious valuables.
9 Caught in the Act. By someone embarrassing; your parents, the bishop, the entire village, etc.
10 Stalker. The person you seduced won't leave you alone. They keep staring at you.
11 Inconvenienced. You are trapped, tied up, or otherwise stuck somewhere. You might need help.
12 Deception. Target was not who they seemed to be. They are important, supernatural, married, etc.
13 Wrung Out. You exhausted yourself and your target. You are both at half HP for 1d4 days.
14 Traitor! Your target's partner or former lover discovers you. They want revenge on everyone involved.
15 Embarrassing Revelation. The secret you revealed will hurt your pride and reputation if it gets out.
16 Lost Something. An important item you own goes missing. It wasn't stolen by your target.
17 Accidental Injury. Something went wrong. Everyone involved takes 1d4 damage and breaks furniture.
18 Unfortunate Rash. It will clear up in 1d10 weeks. It itches and keeps you up at night. It is contagious.
19 Framed. A jealous partner or friend of your target has accused you of a serious crime.
20 Illegitimate Pregnancy. Either you're pregnant or they're pregnant. You won't find out for months.
21 Minor Lie. You'll need to maintain an accent or a harmless habit around your target from now on.
22 Lost Pants. Can't find your underwear or pants/skirt/dress. Armour is not affected but will chafe.
23 Chain Reaction. You taught the target a new technique; they want to try it out on someone new (not you).
24 Bruises and Scratches. Nothing serious, but they are obvious and hard to cover up.
25 Lovelorn. You are expected to pine and sigh. Target is pleased if you do, very offended if you don't.
26 Emotional Baggage. You and your target fill 1d6 inventory slots with Emotional Baggage. Removed by crying.
27 A Pleasant Memory. Target will always think of you fondly provided they never see you again.
28 Perfection. One part of the target's body becomes the new standard by which you judge all others.
29 I Did The Butler? By a trick of the light, a disguise, or magic you harmlessly seduced the wrong target.
30 Gird Your Soul. Target refuses to see you again. If they do, they instantly give in to temptation.
31 Hasty Packing. You accidentally took an item (Unlabeled Package worth 1sp) from your target.
32 All Is Revealed. Target learns 1 of your shameful secrets; you learn one of the target's. Yours must be worse.
33 My Dear Friend… You will not remember your target's name unless you write it down.
34 Mysterious Reputation. In 1d10 days, everyone in the social circle of your target knows your name.
35 Fluster. Save. Passed: target must Save or be flustered if you make eye contact. Failed: they may target you.
36 New Thing. You tried something new and liked it: whips, carrots, the smell of butter, etc.
37 Pillow Talk. Name 1 skill the target probably has. You can roll that skill once.
38 Next! You may roll again on this table with a +5 bonus if you immediately seduce another target.
39 Amusing. You can attract and maintain an audience by telling the story. Your target may not like this.
40 Whirl of Passion. All breakable objects and clothing in the area is destroyed, dented, or knocked around.
41 Uncertainty. You've never been entirely sure what your preferences are. Go from Straight -> Bi -> Gay ->…
42 New Venue. Target will try and lead you (and only you, probably) to a new area (an attic, a shed, a lane, etc.)
43 Food. Your target provides you with a decent meal.
44 Quick! In the Closet! Your target will conceal you (and only you, probably) if asked.
45 Cuddly. For the next 24hrs you smile a lot and want to snuggle people. Your hugs last a little too long.
46 Wardrobe Upgrade. You steal, borrow, or are given a mundane item of clothing that belongs to your target.
47 Have You Met My Friend? Target's friend will meet with you and ask to be seduced at a future date.
48 Pleasant Haze. Target forget the details of the 1d6 hours before they were seduced. Save or you do too.
49 Inspired. You write a poem to your lover. Roll a d100. On a 100, it becomes popular. Otherwise, obscurity.
50 Bamboozled. Target's family or lover is taken in by whatever lies you tell; they suspect nothing.
51 Wardrobe Swap. You accidentally put on one of your target's items of clothing; they have one of yours.
52 Funny Walk. You'll need to sit down very carefully for the next 2 days.
53 Queasy. For the next 24hrs, Save vs Nausea against disgusting smells/sights, but gain +2 to Save vs Fear.
54 Changing Tastes. The next target you seduce must be unusual if this target was normal, or vice-versa.
55 Love Token. Gain a lock of hair, an old shirt, a letter sealed with a kiss, etc.
56 Oh Madeline… A particular food item will cause you to drift into pleasant memories of your target.
57 Drink! Somehow, no matter how improbable it might be, you ended up with a full wineskin.
58 Bed Hair. You just can't get it to comb flat. It sticks out at all angles for 24hrs.
59 Good Reputation. In 1d10 days, everyone in the intimate social circle of your target knows your name.
60 Hey There Gorgeous. Target will flatter your appearance at every opportunity. May cause jealousy.
61 Shouting and Tears. You have an excellent argument afterwards and both, happily, think you've won.
62 Passion. The next time you see the target, Save or meet them behind the nearest bush, in a closet, etc.
63 Shivers. If you touch the target they must Save or go all shivvery. They can do the same to you.
64 What A Night. You remember nothing of your time with the target unless you are drunk.
65 Misdirection. You can frame your target for a minor crime (theft, vandalism, blasphemy).
66 Effective But Alarming Costume. Either your outfit or your target's outfit will be forever exciting to you.
67 Pinches. At some point when you least expect it, target will sneak up on you and pinch your bottom/cheek/arm.
68 Hope and Charity. Target's morals become more strict and more chaste due to your (accidental) influence.
69 Panic. You think you've caught a rash. Turns out it was just a pimple. It fades in 24hrs.
70 A Scheme. You and your target have created a risky plan to meet again in 1d6 days, no matter where you end up.
71 Lavender and Cheese Rind. You can identify your target by just smell and/or touch, at any point in the future.
72 Cleanliness. You and your target bathed, or if implausible, beat the dust from your clothes and scrubbed.
73 Foul Language. Target taught you a new word, curse or euphemism. 
74 My Little Cabbage. Target gives you a demeaning yet endearing nickname. They will use it in public. 
75 A Head For Crime. Target's morals become less strict due to your (accidental) influence. 
76 Soiled! One item the target has on their person or could feasibly reach is forever tainted with strange memories.
77 Our Mutual Friend. Someone else you know gains +4 on their next skill check or roll made to seduce a target.
78 Careless Whispers. If you tell someone who knows the target the details of your seduction, they must Save vs Fear.
79 Lie Back And Relax. You and your target heal 1d6 HP.
80 Heh, Turnips. Pick a word. Whenever you say the chosen word to your target, you both must Save or giggle.
81 Fixed Your Back. Gain +1d6 temporary HP (it does not return if lost). You stand slightly taller.
82 Cash In Hand. Target loans you an appropriate amount for their station. Failure to repay will break their heart.
83 On Top of the World. You feel good! You feel great! Gain +2 to Save for 24hrs.
84 But Didn't You Say… Target gives you a hint regarding a current problem.
85 Tutoring. Name 1 skill the target probably has. You can roll that skill for the next 24hrs.
86 Minor Gift. 1d10sp in jewlery, coins, or other trinkets.
87 With Figs! Target teaches you something new. Gain a +5 bonus the next time you roll on this table.
88 Eureka! Struck by a sudden insight, you now pass a previously failed notice or discovery test.
89 Spring in Your Step. It went very well. You gain a +4 bonus to your next Save against anything.
90 Lie for Me. Target will tell and maintain one useful, complicated lie for you.
91 Significant Gift. 3d10gp in jewelry, coins, or other trinkets.
92 Useful Introduction. Your target introduces you to a helpful, learned, or important person.
93 Lust. Target tries to arrange 1 meeting every day. Target must Save or give up after a week without contact.
94 Permanent Friendship. Even if you move on you will always have a trusting friend.
95 Major Favour. Smuggle you out of a city, adopt an orphan, give you a key, etc.
96 Companion. Target wants to follow you on your adventures. 
97 Marriage. If possible, even if unlikely. You might need to push a few people out of windows first…
98 Valuable Secret. A treasure map, blackmail material, the location of a vitally important clue.
99 Improve Yourself. The experience changed you for the better. Gain +1 to a random Stat.
100 True Love. Oh dear. It's mutual (because it's capital-T-True capital-L-Love).
Marginal miniature of a couple embracing. (British Library Stowe 17 f. 143)
Side Note: Sex in D&D
My thoughts on the topic closely mirror this post from Paper & Pencils. Sex is described in as much detail as food and for the same reasons; local colour, immersion, and plot relevance.

In short, if you're playing D&D for the food descriptions, you should probably read a Redwall book or watch some Food Network instead.
  

 
Side Note: Consent

I tend to run medieval-ish games. Historically, the best case option for consent is close to "[employee] - [employer-who can fire you at any time]" in terms of power dynamic. The worst options tend towards the "war crime" end of the spectrum. Modern sensibilities run into medieval stories and go "yeeesh," in dismay. You should probably consider the acceptable standard of consent in your game or setting.

The Goliard class specifies that a seduction target must be
"a willing, interested, or corruptible person". Some people should just be straight-up immune. If their gender/species preferences don't match yours, you probably can't convince them otherwise.

If in doubt, err on the side of caution. You can't seduce someone who doesn't want to be seduced.



Side Note: Targets
I couldn't think of a better, shorter word. "Target" has some unfortunate connotations. So it goes.


Side Note: So you said "person..."
Generally, you can seduce any creature with an erogenous zone, a palatable degree of worldliness, and the ability to carry on a conversation. Dragons, living statues, Beholders, whatever - if you want to roll to seduce, roll to seduce. The table doesn't change.  There is only 1 option that assumes the gender of any of the participants (20: Illegitimate Pregnancy). If biology makes that option impossible, roll again.







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