1d50 |
50 Mercenary Missions |
1 |
There's a legend about that
castle. They say, on the summer solstice, a fifth tower of pure gold appears
at noon. And it's the summer solstice tomorrow... |
2 |
For diplomatic reasons, you need
to sack and burn this monastery while dressed as mercenaries from a rival
company. Make sure you leave survivors. And don't loot anything too obvious. |
3 |
See if you can find a path
through that swamp. Map it or use markers. You may need to find a local
guide. |
4 |
This convent of nuns has a very
important relic. Go steal it for the greater glory of the mercenary company.
If the saint doesn't want to be stolen, you'll get smitten by lightning or
something equally unpleasant. |
5 |
The emperor of some foreign land
is sending wax copies of his legs to a nearby city for custom-fitted armour.
You're going to steal them and we're going to hold them for ransom. |
6 |
The emperor of some foreign land
wants to add a local beast to his menagerie. Go capture something magical and
dangerous. Here's 50' of rope and a wooden mallet. |
7 |
Our leader's favorite lover is
very sick. A famous elderly physician resides two towns away, but refuses to
travel to the camp despite offers of vast wealth. Go kidnap the physician...
politely. |
8 |
One of the Archpriest's legates
is carrying secret letters to a nearby city. Insert this sealed letter among
them. |
9 |
We need you to paint insulting
slogans on these dead and diseased cows before we launch them over the walls. |
10 |
There's a small castle along our
line of march. It would be convenient if it was occupied before the bulk of
our forces pass by. Bribe, fight, or bluff your way in. |
11 |
Here's a laugh. Go ride out to
this castle and tell the owner to surrender or we'll burn it at dawn. We
won't of course. Too much trouble and it's too far away. But the owner might
fall for it. |
12 |
Apparently the queen of this
town has a magic mirror that identifies pretty women for her. Weird, I know,
but think of what we could do with that mirror! Go steal it. |
13 |
There was a silver mine in the
hills before the war. See if any of the locals remember where it was. It
might still be operating. |
14 |
The court poet from a local city
has written some very satirical verses about our leader. It'd be unfortunate
if the poet met with a tragic accident on the road. |
15 |
The enemy army has camped on a
plain just below a dam. If someone breaks that dam, the river will burst its
banks and sweep them away. Of course, it's behind enemy lines... |
16 |
One of the Archpriest's legates
is carrying vital letters. You need to steal them, copy them, and return them
without the legate noticing. |
17 |
Feint a night attack on this
town, just to annoy them. Don't get killed, just make them raise the alarm. |
18 |
The captain says he needs a
tutor for his children. Go find someone suitable. A literate priest or
something. They may need some persuading to work in a mercenary camp. |
19 |
We've tried undermining the
town's walls, but something keeps eating the miners. I mean the miners keep
disappearing. Anyway, if you sort it out you'll get a nice bonus. |
20 |
It's vitally important, for
diplomatic purposes, this convent of nuns is protected. Make sure nobody
bothers the nuns. That includes you. And keep your hands of their relics. |
21 |
The enemy town has hired
unbribeable killer mercenaries from Foreign Parts. They don't speak the local
language so we can't corrupt them. Find someone who speaks their language,
and quickly! |
22 |
Our leader is hosting a banquet.
Ride down to the coast, buy fresh fish, and get them back here before they
start to smell. |
23 |
Our leader's astrologer-wizard
started gibbering about "moondrops" and "beams of silver"
and ran off into the night. Go find them and drag them back. |
24 |
We need to bulk up our numbers
before the assault. Go see if any of the local villagers can hold a sword or
a spellbook. If they can and they want to fight, sign them up. |
25 |
Our leader is getting married.
You lot need to get him a gift. Go steal something nice off the registry. |
26 |
Remember that old manor house we
took in the spring? Apparently there are tunnels below it. Some of the guards
went in; only one of them made it out. Died in a tavern three days later, but
his pockets were full of gold. |
27 |
Go scout the enemy army and
count their cannons. Don't get caught. |
28 |
This fog isn't natural. It's a
wizard business. Or a druid. Or worse. Head that-a-way and see if you find
anything. We'll light a signal fire to guide scouting parties back home. |
29 |
Here's the plan. You pose as
deserters, sneak into the town, and spread the word that it will be violently
sacked tomorrow. The nobles sneak their valuables out. We ambush them and
share the proceeds. |
30 |
Someone massacred a village and
it wasn't us. Go take a look. |
31 |
The wizard's tower is supposed
to be empty, but something in there keeps lobbing spells at our troops. Fix
it. |
32 |
You look like clever people.
Invent a terrifying weapon to impress our employers. It only needs to work
once, during the demonstration. You've got a week. |
33 |
You're our last hope. Get inside
the town somehow and open the gates. |
34 |
To prevent the enemy from
marching against us, set fire to all the grassland from here to the mountains
It's been a dry month. Their horses will starve. |
35 |
Some moron says he found
"giant bones" down by the riverbed. There haven't been giants in
these parts for centuries, but I hear a powder made from their bones makes
your... well nevermind. Just go find them. |
36 |
We're running low on horses. Go
into the hills, find a village, and see if they've got any horses. |
37 |
Go check on the condition of
this road. Rumour has it goblins were seen in the trees, and where there's
some goblins there's always more goblins. |
38 |
See that hill? There are
standing stones on the top with strange markings on them. Might be nothing,
but you should check them for wizard business. |
39 |
Our leader's worthless bastard
son turned up. Take him on a "hunting trip" in the hills. I hope
nothing conveniently tragic happens to the poor lad. |
40 |
Your job is to deliver this
letter to the leader of a rival mercenary company. Don't stick around for a
reply. No seriously, it's best if you hand the letter to their leader and
run. |
41 |
We're running low on food. Go
into the hills, find a village, and get as much food as you can. Take these
two carts. |
42 |
They say a tunnel went through
that mountain in ancient times. Go see if you can find the entrance. It's not
likely-smarter people have tried-but if you do you'll be legends. |
43 |
They say there's a hidden
village in the hills, inaccessible unless you know the path... or you're very
smart. And you're very clever, right? Go find it and see what they're up to. |
44 |
So we might have accidentally
killed a bishop and his retinue. You could have been his twin. Put on this
hat and robe, go where he was going, pretend to have a fever, and die of
natural causes as soon as possible. |
45 |
You need to fake a troop
movement away from the camp. Convince any observers watching by night that
we're sending a detachment to flank them. No, there's no budget. Figure it
out. |
46 |
The people paying us say we can
only claim territory up to the border. The border stones are moveable if
you've got a pickaxe, three oxen, and a cart. You only need to move... oh,
two dozen. A mile or two will help. |
47 |
An ambassador from a distant
kingdom was kidnapped by some bandits. They're hiding in a small looted
castle. The local nobles want the castle back but can't pay. The ambassador's
ransom is unlikely to arrive. |
48 |
A rival mercenary company just
purchased a huge stock of gunpowder in preparation for a predicted siege.
It'd be a real shame if someone set fire to it. |
49 |
Old Simpkins, who sells us
onions and those funny woodcuts, says bandits have been bothering him near
the pass. Go sort them out. We like Old Simpkins. |
50 |
A noble in a local town is
stirring up trouble. Go assassinate him. Quietly, publicly, doesn't matter. |
Great fun, and by the end of this list I've got a fairly clear mental image of the sergeant giving out these assignments. :D
ReplyDeleteUndeniable proof that dubiously-moral characters deal out the best quests!
ReplyDeleteHow long did you take to come up with these? What sources did you borrow from?
ReplyDeleteAbout 2 weeks of jotting down notes. Too many sources to list directly, but "The Devil's Broker" and "Captains of Fortune" were already covered on this blog. I'd also recommend "Mercenaries and their Masters" by Michael Mallett.
DeleteThese are disgustingly good.
ReplyDeleteIt took a while, but my party has just decided to turn mercenary and help out in The War. These missions will come in handy! I've actually shown them this post so they know the level of whimsy I'm aiming for and they seemed really enthousiastic.
Delete(Will need extra charts to figure out how the actual war is progressing. Hm. Can I turn Carcassonne or some other land grab game into a generator?)
How about these charts: https://coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2017/05/osr-medieval-stalemate-simulator-or-six.html
DeleteThis is essentially a campaign in a post. You do 5-10 of these and some narrative will emerge. Great work.
ReplyDeleteThat's the plan. Why plot a campaign when a few good tables can do it for you?
DeleteHere we are, a year later, and that's *exactly* what I am going to do :D
DeleteIn case you are curious, here is one of said sessions inspired by this post! It's a sort of combo between 4 and 20 :) https://slugsandsilver.blogspot.com/2022/05/the-defence-of-san-floria-short-glog.html
DeleteReally great list!
ReplyDelete"We need [X], go get it, there's no budget but we don't care how" is the perfect problem-solving quest. Horses, food, spectacle for the employers, whatever it is, we just need it. Although "pretend to be a bishop and then die of natural causes" is an absolute treat!
ReplyDeleteI love the bishop one, I laughed out loud a few times while reading this list :)
DeleteThis is good!
ReplyDeleteThese are wonderful.
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