OSR: Megoosa (or Gorgoose)

Art by Teal Sather
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Maybe we'll get more gooses.
HD: 6 (25 HP)
Number Appearing: 1

Appearance: a human woman with geese heads and necks for hair. Charming, outgoing, and amusing, but surrounded by avian assholes with vengeful minds and toothed beaks.
Voice: charming, fluttery. Occasionally drowned out by sustained honking.
Wants: to go to parties, mingle with nobility, dance, and enjoy life. To do good. The geese want all sorts of horrible, random, and merciless things.
Morality: decent, but completely unwilling to accept full blame for the activities of her hair.
Intelligence: reasonably smart. The geese display bursts of malicious brilliance.

Armour: None. Cannot be harmed by non-magical weapons.
Move: normal.
Morale: 7
Damage: 1d4 punch. See Honking Frenzy below.

Every few minutes, or whenever something interesting happens, roll to see What The Geese Want To Do. Always roll at least twice (4 d10s). The geese are fractious and may sabotage each other.

1d10 The Geese Want To...
1 Viciously bite (1d4 damage)... all adjacent people.
2 Tug and pull (no damage) at... one nearby person.
3 Entrap, entangle, or hide... one distant person the geese can see.
4 Drag into a body of water... a valuable or shiny object.
5 Protect... the nearest plant.
6 Flail wildly at... anything delicate or precarious.
7 Steal and drag away... the nearest finger, digit, or appendage.
8 Hiss aggressively at... the nearest visible writing.
9 Honk incredibly loudly at... anyone not paying attention to them.
10 Nap while gazing longingly at... the sun or moon.

If the Gorgoose (or Megoosa) is attacked or threatened, the geese will start to screech and hiss and enter a Honking Frenzy. If the Megoosa (or Gorgoose) is not in combat, there's a 1-in-6 chance per round she can coax them into a Honking Frenzy.

While in a Honking Frenzy, all creatures who can hear the Gorgoose (or Megoosa) must Save each round or suffer one effect from the list below. Plugged ears, either with cotton or fingers, negate this effect. The geese will specifically try to target fingers or cotton (if visible and adjacent). The Megoosa (or Gorgoose) will apologize and try to move away from combat.

1d10 Honking Frenzy Effects
1 Stunned for 1 round (can either move or attack but not both).
2 Enraged for 1 round (must attack the Gorgoose (or Megoosa)).
3 Confused for 1 round (cannot do anything cunning or tactical).
4 Deafened (to all but the honking) for 10 rounds.
5 Fear for 1d10 rounds (must flee the honking).
6 Enfeebled for 1d10 rounds (Strength becomes 2).
7 Fascinated for 1 round (must stare at the Megoosa (or Gorgoose)).
8 Shaken for 1d10 rounds (significant penalty to all rolls).
9 Unconscious for 1d10 rounds.
10 Exploded (not really) for 1d10 rounds (target believes their head has exploded and that they are now dead and a ghost).

Gorgoose (or Megoosa Encounters)

1. At a formal banquet, trying to assemble a plate and hold a conversation while the geese-heads fiddle with trays and guests.

2. Hiring the PCs (sight unseen) to assist with a perfectly ordinary shopping trip. Does she need protection, they might ask? No, but the shopkeepers do.

3. In trouble. A cabal of deaf magicians has kidnapped a Megoosa (or Gorgoose) and piped her honking through a system of pipes in their lair. Other sonic traps abound.

4. A villain hired a gorgon for his lair; got a Gorgoose (or Megoosa) instead. The villain is apologetic, but would like the PCs to be the ones to deliver the bad news and deal with the aftermath.

5. The Gosling Sisters have taken to the stage. Opening night is tomorrow. The PCs were invited, hired as bouncers, or hired to spoil the show at the behest of a jealous rival group of acrobatic mermaids.

6. In a cave, offering dubious oracles for cash. Legend says a Megoosa (or Gorgoose) knows all the secrets geese know, which is presumably quite a few. Actually just uses cold reading and flattery. Spends most of the money on hard-wearing dresses (with pockets) and bread for her hair.

Thanks to Nolano from the Day[9] discord for the prompt and the core of the Honking Frenzy idea.


  1. Shouldn't this be the untitled goose monster >.> :p

  2. One of the funniest things I've seen in a while - yes, I'm using her.

  3. This is going to be used in a Troika! game for sure.

  4. Yes. Evil geese. For years I thought I was alone in realizing the evil of geese. I've recently been contemplating replacing the goat in Andrew K's witch coven with a goose, or having farmer Fud from Goodberry's Cowpie Mushrooms tell the pcs about a demon-possessed goose, in great detail, and perhaps make it real... I live in a fairly rural area, and I KNOW geese are pure evil. I've seen things, man... Terrible things...