5 More Stupid yet Robust Games for Video Calls

Back in 2020, I came up with a list of 10 games designed for socially distanced gatherings. Turns out that 2021 isn't much different. Oh well.

(And I doubt next year will be better, because it's 2020 too! Ah ha ha ha! Ah hah. Haaa.)

I used up most of my best concepts in 2020, but here are 5 more games to add to the list. They've all been tested.

Criteria

• Will work over video chat.
• Cannot require special items, applications, or elaborate preparation.
• Cannot rely on the physical fitness of any participants.
• Are not intellectually challenging.
• Are sufficiently ridiculous that anyone who gets overly competitive will feel a bit silly, yet still retain a degree of competition.
  

Items
Each Participant Will Need: Several sheets of paper, a marker, and a pen.
Each Household Will Need: A ruler or tape measure, and an umbrella, rolling pin, or walking stick.

A marker is easier to see when held  up to a camera. Pencils will not work; they're too hard to see. The ruler/tape measure and umbrella/rolling pin/walking stick keeps people guessing and promotes interest in the game. Ooh, what have they got planned?

Participants
The games work with up to 20 people, though anything past 10 results in moderate chaos from time to time.

The person organizing the games should commit to them knowing full well they'll look like a damn fool. The organizer can participate in most of the games.

If you've got one uncle who flipped a card table when they lost a particularly close card game, or an aunt who hasn't had fun since 1952 and has no intention of starting now, these games simply won't work. Arguments should be fun, self-aware and performative, not actual fights. As with any game, you need a certain type of relaxed group.

douglasbot

11. The Folded Creature Game
This game depends on 1. The Category Challenge from last year's list and a separate piece of paper. It should be played before the items on the list are revealed or compared.

Depict the second animal on your list using a piece of paper. You cannot draw on your piece of paper, but you can fold it, cut it, or tape it. You have 90 seconds starting now.

Taking it in turns, show your animal to the group. Everyone writes down their guess. You get 1 point for each person who correctly identifies your animal. Anyone who correctly identifies your animal also gets 1 point.

Notes
The joy of the category challenge is realizing you've put yourself in a terrible position. It wouldn't be as fun if the host gave everyone a list of animals. 

Moving your folded animal to assist the judge is technically cheating... but it also leads to lively debate and adds to the fun. Making noises is beyond the pale. You can also try this with the other categories (machines, foods, or musical instruments), though it will be more difficult.

 
12. The Hand Arrangement Game
This game also depends on 1. The Category Challenge from last year's list. 

Taking it in turns, arrange your hands so that they resemble the third animal on your list. You cannot move your hands once they are arranged. Everyone writes down their guess. You get 1 point for each person who correctly identifies your animal. Anyone who correctly identifies your animal also gets 1 point. 

Notes
This game works well with the other categories (machines, foods, or musical instruments). It's basically shadow-puppets, but without the shadow bit. Everyone cheats and wiggles their hands; it's inevitable.

 
13. The Most Comfortable Chair Game
Draw the most comfortable chair. You have 90 seconds. You cannot write letters. 

Taking it in turns, show off your chair. Players vote on the most comfortable chair. The winner gets 5 points.

Notes
Vaguely based on the prize task in Taskmaster S4E7. Soliciting votes (by extolling the chair's virtues, by threats, or by strategy) adds to the hilarity of the game.

14. The Modified Portrait Game
This is a variant of 4. The Portrait Game.

Using a marker and a piece of paper, draw a portrait of one person you can see on this video call. You cannot use your dominant hand. You cannot write letters.

You get 1 point for each person who correctly identifies the subject of your drawing. However, if everyone correctly identifies the subject of your drawing, you get no points.

You have 30 seconds starting now.

Notes
The same suggestions and drawbacks apply, but this variant adds a bit of bluffing and deliberately misleading details.
 

15. The Spaceship Game
This is a variant on 10. The Monster Drawing Game.  

Using a marker and a piece of paper, draw the spaceship I am going to describe. You have 2 minutes to draw the spaceship, starting from when I start describing the spaceship. I will not stop or repeat myself.

My magnificent spaceship has a spherical crew module and three windows. It has a hydrogen fuel tank and an oxygen fuel tank, and two rectangular solar panels, and one more window, and two round solar panels, and a long truss made of triangles. 

It has one big engine and two smaller engines. And it has a spare oxygen tank. And it has a spider-shaped antenna. And an escape pod that looks a bit like an ice cream cone. And the escape pod has a round solar panel. And it has a cube-shaped cargo pod on the end of the truss.

And it has a really cool name, painted on the side. It was sponsored by the USA and Russia and China and Australia, and it is leaking air, and it is crashing into the moon.

Hand your drawing to someone else to mark. You get 1 point for each criteria your spaceship meets. Arguing is permitted. Maximum of 20 points.

Criteria (1 point each):
[Read out loud and get people to put a checkmark for each criteria met, then collate the totals.]

Spherical crew module?
1 Hydrogen tank?
2 Oxygen tanks?
2 rectangular solar panels?
3 round solar panels?
1 triangular truss?
Cube-shaped cargo module on the end of the truss?
1 big engine?
2 small engines?
Spider-shaped antenna?
Escape pod that looks like an ice cream cone?
Total of # windows?
Really cool name?
USA flag?
Russia flag?
China flag?
Australia flag?
Leaking air?
Crashing into the moon?
Sufficiently magnificent?

Notes
Taskmaster task reference (UK S10E09). Pause while describing the spaceship to let people catch up. Really relish each word.

Final Notes

Designing games for video calls is tricky. The constraints make a lot of traditional games impossible. It's a fun challenge, and I'm sorry this year's list aren't quite as good as last year's. Still, more games means more options. Enjoy!

Minigame: "In 1973, President Nixon..."

I've invented a party game called "In 1973, President Nixon...". Feel free to nick it, adapt it, test it, and improve upon it. Letters of complaint should be sent to the Richard Nixon Presidential Library, 18001 Yorba Linda Blvd, Yorba Linda, CA 92886.

Premise

In every piece of conspiracy-based media, there's That Scene. Our viewpoint character is inducted into the into the Mysterious Secret Agency (MSA), introduced to the Senior Agency Manipulator (SAM) and given a badge, sunglasses, and an Arsenal of Surprising Malevolence (ASM).

The part where the real history of the world is revealed. Where D. B. Cooper went, who's behind triangular UFOs, why Southwyck House in Brixton is that shape, who killed the electric car (and why!), and all the other mysteries of life. You were helpless, powerless, befuddled, directionless. Now you have a higher purpose, knowledge of the true nature of reality, power without conventional restraints, and intriguing colleagues. Social-focused lizard-brain releases all the good chemicals.

Everything after That Scene is a bit of a letdown. For a few glorious moments, an entire universe of possibilities dangles in the air, before instantly collapsing into tropes, lazy writing, grappling rules, limited special effects budgets, price lists, and other soul-draining minutiae.

But what if there was a game that was only reveals?

Jacob Samuel, New Yorker

The Rules

This is a game in the same way that hoop-stick is a game, or "who can make the best bird noise" is a game.

You will need:

• some players
• a stack of notecards or scrap paper for each player
• a pen for each player
  
• a pair of sunglasses (optional)
  
• a clip-on tie (optional)
  

Select a random player (or the person who suggested this foolish enterprise in the first place). That player is the first Agency Manifestation Supervisor (AMS). 

The AMS:

1. Stands up, facing the other players, in a somber posture.

1a. Dons the sunglasses (optional).

1b. Dons the clip-on tie (optional).

2. Clears their throat to signal silence, then says: "In 1973, President Nixon..."

3. Improvises one or two sentences about this Mysterious Secret Agency (MSA), as if they were addressing a crowd of new recruits. This must include a Mission Assessment Statement (MAS). 

E.g. "In 1973, President Nixon authorized the creation of a secret organization. Its mission: to protect the United States from the perfidious influence of Martian Skinwalkers."

4. The non-recruit players write a letter on a card, then hold the cards up. They can do this at any point during the initial speech. Ideally, the letters spell out a 3-letter acronym. This is the Mysterious Secret Agency (MSA)'s Purported Name. 

4a. This works really well if there are 4 players total, and less well if there are fewer or more players. With 3 players, you could go for the Ministry of [A] [B], and 4-letter acronyms can work.

5. The AMS must then explain the purported acronym, to the best of their ability. "We are the X...Q...J...: the Exotic Quest... Jentlemen..."

6. The AMS must begin to explain the agency's Arsenal of Surprising Malevolence (ASM). "To combat this threat, you will be issued with..."

7. The AMS then reaches out and selects a card at random from a player. The card has an object on it, both named and (ideally), drawn (comically badly).

7a. In a cluttered environment, and with a suitably disorganized group, the players can hand the AMS a physical object instead. It helps with gesticulation. Or fill a grocery bag with objects and have the AMS reach in and pick one. 

7b. To save time, players may wish to fill out a whole stack of cards (letter on one side, object on the other) before the game starts, but frantically filling out cards does look like studious note-taking, and gives players a chance to tailor their sabotage for the peculiar foibles of the current AMS.

 8. The AMS explains how this object aids the agency in their mission. "...a small concrete sculpture of a pelican. It is well known that Martian Skinwalkers cannot abide the sight of a pelican. Treasure it. Guard it well. In an emergency, the concrete pelican can be used as an anti-flotation device."

9. The AMS then asks "Any questions?", and selects one player. That player must ask a question, and the AMS must provide an answer. Since this is the end of the round, maintaining composure is less critical, but this is a great chance for the AMS to show off (or collapse in a fit of giggles when asked, "Sir, are the Martian Skinwalkers affiliated with International Communism?"). 

10. After answering at least 1 question, the AMS sits down to polite applause. They become a player, and the next player becomes the ASM, restarting the process.

Oh right!

Rule 0. If, at any point, the AMS breaks composure, they must immediately give up their tie and sunglasses and sit down. 

Rule 0a. If you play this game with properly trained actors, you may need to introduce chemicals / brain damage / extra challenges to get them to break composure. "In 1973, President Nixon..." isn't a drinking game, but it could easily become one.

Victory Conditions

Euro Rules: each successfully completed AMS round earns the player 1 Victory Point. First to, oh, I don't know, 3 Victory Points wins. 1 Victory Point can be exchanged for 3 Wood Tokens.

American Rules: each successfully completed AMS round gives the player 6 Battle Dice (tm). Battle Dice are proprietary d6s with the 6 replaced by a 8 and the 2 replaced with a 1.75, which are rolled at the end of the game. Highest total wins. 

Scandinavian Rules: at the end of the game, players rank all other players from most to least entertaining. The ballots are then tabulated by a third party and probably ignored, because let's face it, this game doesn't have a victory condition. It's barely even a game.

Optional Rules

I: While President Nixon can be blamed for all manner of secret organizations, it might be more fun to have each player introduce a new historical figure and date, plausible or implausible, local or international. "In 802, the Emperor Charlemagne...". Feel free to adjust the time period of the briefing as well.

I'd make a convenient d100 table of Important Figures and Plausible Dates, but no table could possibly work for all groups. Example. See what I mean? It's better if the AMS picks the figure and supplies (or guesses) at the date.

II: If all non-AMS players break composure while the AMS maintains composure, the AMS can declare, "There is one final test you must pass," and declare some trivial but immediately possible action, such as, "Drop and give me 20! Now now now!" or "You! Recite poetry! Now now now!". Players who fail are "dis-quahlifiahed!" and must leave the room (and immediately return).

Derek Jones

Final Notes

This game isn't really designed for pick-up play. While the 10 Stupid Yet Robust Games for Video Calls are tested and sensible, this game... isn't. It's designed (and I use the word "designed" with trepidation) for groups of relatively close-knit friends who can - and will - call out someone who crosses a line. Ideally, the results of "In 1973, President Nixon..." should fall closer to "speaking truth to power, but in a post-ironic way" or "grappling with existential dread" or "pure absurdity" than than whatever the group considers scathing political satire. Listing an actual existent and influential conspiracy theory is not a good plan. The boundary between "improv exercise" and "group therapy" is dangerously thin. The more outlandish the mission of the MSA, the better.

Oglaf (NSFW)

Unrelated Side Note: Paranormal Investigative Sprawl

Most settings with paranormal investigative characters (e.g. Delta Green, Esoteric Enterprises, the SCP wiki, Scooby Doo if every episode ended before the villain was unmasked) tend to fit in all the paranormal stuff.  Everyone is invited to the masquerade. If the setting posits that one group can secretly exist alongside the real world, then there's no reason more groups can't secretly exist. It seems like you can't just have Vampires. You must have Vampires, Werewolves, Ghosts, Angels, Devils, Ghouls, the Fair Folk, etc, etc. You can't just have the Deep Ones. You must have Shoggoths, the Great Race of Yith, etc, etc. While you're add it, add in the Jersey Devil, Sewer Crocodiles, and Yetis.

You can get away with Aliens alone if they're a particularly subtle and creepy, and the characters are part of some underfunded resistance movement, but there's a strong pressure to add more factions or form diversity in ongoing media. People sometimes get away with just Vampires or just Ghosts, but the desire to sprawl is always around the corner. There's more than one kind of Ghost. The Zombies have mutated.

It's possible that "maybe this exists" nessesarily raises the question "why doesn't this other thing exist?" If the evidence/folkloric history/thematic weight of both ideas is about the same, not including it can feel weird. People who believe in the Loch Ness Monster are unlikely to dismiss the existence of the Sasquatch. This is also the age of media soup. It seems natural for every property/franchise/concept to slowly bleed into every other property/franchise/concept.

On the other hand, paranormal investigations aren't simple whodunits. They're also, often, whatdoneits? In a police procedural, the answer is usually "a person". In an esoteric game, the "what" could be a shapeshifting spider, an escaped military drone, a time traveling monk, a set of sentient gumboots, Actual Dracula, or, sometimes, a person. Speculation is part of the fun. If there's only one supernatural element in a game, extraordinary elements quickly become ordinary or predictable.

Multiple layers of supernatural cruft also preserves a sense of mystery. There's always a deeper layer. What do the Chainsaw Blood Cultists know about the Sly Venusians? Why was this obscure text about Atlantis in the library of the Evil Vicar?

Anyway, I'm not sure what the best approach is. Should a supernatural investigation setting include everything the creator can think of (exposed as needed, or with a twist or two), or should the creator focus on a single element and elaborate one that theme?

10 Stupid yet Robust Games for Video Calls

2020 is a weird year. A lot of people are relying on video calls for holiday gatherings.

This is fine, but it does limit the type of holiday games that can be played. For some participants, setting up a video call might push their technical skills to the limit. Asking them to also download an application, share a screen, learn a video game, or install something would lead to disaster.

I've come up with (or, more accurately, adapted, stolen, or lightly improved) 10 stupid robust games for video calls. They've all been tested.

Criteria

• Will work over video chat.
• Cannot require special items, applications, or elaborate preparation.
• Cannot rely on the physical fitness of any participants.
• Are not intellectually challenging.
• Are sufficiently ridiculous that anyone who gets overly competitive will feel a bit silly, yet still retain a degree of competition.
  

Items
Each Participant Will Need: Several sheets of paper, a marker, and a pen.
Each Household Will Need: A ruler or tape measure, and an umbrella, rolling pin, or walking stick.

A marker is easier to see when held  up to a camera. Pencils will not work; they're too hard to see. The ruler/tape measure and umbrella/rolling pin/walking stick keeps people guessing and promotes interest in the game. Ooh, what have they got planned?

Participants
The games work with up to 20 people, though anything past 10 results in moderate chaos from time to time.

The person organizing the games should commit to them knowing full well they'll look like a damn fool. The organizer can participate in most of the games.

If you've got one uncle who flipped a card table when they lost a particularly close card game, or an aunt who hasn't had fun since 1952 and has no intention of starting now, these games simply won't work. Arguments should be fun, self-aware and performative, not actual fights. As with any game, you need a certain type of relaxed group.

1. The Category Challenge

Using your pen, on one sheet of paper, write down:
5 Animals larger than a golf ball.
5 Machines
5 Foods
5 Musical Instruments

Do not let anyone else see your sheet of paper.

If the thing you write down is unique, you get 1 point.
If exactly one other person writes down the same thing as you, you get 2 points.
If two or more people write down the same thing as you, you get 0 points.

So you want to be clever, but not too clever. Animals should be general: "Spider" not "Black Widow Spider".
 
You have 2 minutes starting now.
 
Notes
You can adjust the number of items required. Use 3 if you actually intend to cross-reference and mark the results. 5 is a decent middle-of-the-road value. 10 keeps everyone very busy.

The scoring system for this task is a bluff; it's a bit painful to actually mark it. The idea is to promote some animals that aren't just "dog, cat" etc, and get categories for other games without having to email out a secret list of animals. It's very cunning.

If you do want to assign points, after you have played all the other games here and no longer need the secret list, have one person list their animals, then see if anyone has the same one, then have them write down the points next to it.
 

2. The Noise Game

Holding the umbrella/rolling pin/walking stick in both hands, one person will make the noise of the first animal listed on their sheet of paper. They may only make noises. They cannot use actions or gestures, or make any noise that sounds like a word.

They will make the noise for 10 seconds, then everyone will get a chance to guess.

If your animal doesn't make a noise, make the noise of a person seeing your animal, or a noise associated with your animal.

The person who correctly guesses the animal gets 1 point. If no one guesses your noise, you get -2 points.

[You can repeat this game, immediately or later, with machines, foods, and musical instruments. In a large group, it might be a good idea to have the first few people do one category, then switch it up.]

Notes
Taskmaster task for reference (UK S10E07). Any attempt at controlled sequential guessing usually (OK, immediately) devolves into everyone shouting guesses as the poor person valiantly struggles to make noises, so there's no point in trying to structure it.
 

3. The Third Largest Duck Game

Using a marker and a piece of paper, draw the third largest duck. There must be 2 ducks larger than your duck. You have 30 seconds to draw your duck. Then, hand your duck to someone else to measure.

Winner gets 5 points.

Notes
Taskmaster task for reference (UK S04E08). Duck measurements are controversial. Some people measure beak to tail, some people scalp to foot, some people insisted the duck they were asked to measure wasn't a duck but a sort of mutant potato and therefore should be disqualified, etc. It's all great fun. Though yes, it is a blatant duck measuring contest, and you may need to keep a straight face when discussing it.

You can't use "the average duck" because that requires math and you can't use "the median duck" because you might have an even number of participants.
 

4. The Portrait Game

Using a marker and a piece of paper, draw a portrait of one person you can see on this video call. You cannot use your dominant hand. You cannot write letters.

You get 1 point for each person who correctly identifies the subject of your drawing.

You have 30 seconds starting now.

[Ask people to write down their guesses as each drawing is held up to the camera... or just let everyone shout answers and award maximum points all 'round.]

Notes
In theory, very competitive people will deliberately fail to recognize the subject of any drawing. In practice, everyone gets caught up in the hilarity (or tragedy) of the results.
 

5. The Ten Word Fact Game

Using a pen and a piece of paper, write down a ten word fact. There is a bonus point for the best fact. You have 1 minute starting now.

Silently mouth your ten word fact to the judge. You get 1 point for each word the judge gets correct. The judge gets the average of all points assigned.

Notes
Taskmaster task for reference (UK S07E03). Ideally, you'll want to select a fairly competitive and confident person to be the judge. Averaging points does require math, but there's no easy way around it. In testing, it's much easier to mouth facts when the judge is physically in the same room, so you may need to rotate or swap judges. You can also rotate judges for each fact (the judge and the fact-mouther getting the same points).
   

6. The Straight Line Game

Using a marker and a piece of paper, one person will draw the second animal listed on their sheet of paper. They can only three straight lines at a time.

After drawing three lines, everyone will get a chance to guess.

The person who correctly guesses the animal gets 1 point. If someone correctly identifies your animal after 3 lines, you get 5 points. After 6 lines, 4 points. 9 lines, 3 points, etc.

[You can repeat this game, immediately or later, with machines, foods, and musical instruments, though they're much harder than animals.]

Notes
Taskmaster task for reference (UK S10E06). All the notes from the Noise Game apply here.
 

7. The National Pride Game

Using a marker and a piece of paper, draw a map of this country/region/continent/etc.

The most accurate drawing, by popular vote, will get 5 points. You cannot vote for yourself.

You have 30 seconds starting now.

Notes
You could also have a judge (the person with the worst drawing) pick a first, second, and third place drawing. 30 seconds isn't a lot of time, particularly if you're looking for complex internal borders or geographical features.
 

8. The Hand Drawing Game

Using a marker and a piece of paper, draw the outline of your dominant hand. You cannot use your dominant hand to draw, and you cannot trace your hand or touch the paper with anything other than the marker.

You get 1 point for each finger that has an outline all the way around it, but where the outline is not more than 1cm away at any point from the finger. Someone else will judge your drawing.

You have 30 seconds starting now.

Notes
People tried using the shadows of their hands, or drawing a huge circle and arguing that the fingers were all inside it, etc. It was very fun.
 

9. The 45 Second Game

Close your eyes. Put your hand on your head closest to 45 seconds from when I start the timer. The person who puts their hand on their head closest to 30 seconds, but without going over 45 seconds, will get 5 points. Do not open your eyes or make any noise until the game is over.

I am starting the timer now.

Notes
Taskmaster task reference (NZ S01E06). The organizer can't participate in this game and should be fairly vigilant, but it's a fun one. You can use a toaster instead of a timer, but that requires effort. The longer the time, the greater the spread of results, but the more bored everyone will be.
  

10. The Monster Drawing Game

Using a marker and a piece of paper, draw the monster I am going to describe. You have 2 minutes to draw your monster, starting from when I start describing the monster. I will not stop or repeat myself.

The happy monster has two arms and three legs. Two of its legs are spiky.

It has two wings on the top of its head. The wings are like bat wings.

It has three eyes and two more eyes. And sharp fangs. And two more eyes.

It has scales on its arms and it has claws on one hand. Its tongue is very long and it has a tooth on the end of it. It is holding a curvy sword in one hand.

It has big round dots all over its body, but none on its face. And it has two more legs. And it is riding a bicycle. And it has one more withered arm. And it has chains around two of its ankles.

And it has a scarf made of fur. And one more very big eye. And it has a ring shaped like a skull. And it is drunk and cross-eyed and very sleepy.

Hand your monster to someone else to mark. You get 1 point for each criteria your monster meets. Arguing is permitted. Maximum of 20 points.

Criteria (1 point each):
[Read out loud and get people to put a checkmark for each criteria met, then collate the totals.]

• Arms: 3
• Legs: 5
• Eyes: 8
• Two spiky legs?
• Bat wings on head?
• Fangs?
• Scales on arms?
• Claw on one hand?
• Very long tongue?
• Tooth on tongue?
• Holding a curvy sword?
• Dots on body but not on face?
• Riding bicycle?
• One withered arm?
• Scarf made of fur?
• One very big eye?
• Ring shaped like a skull?
• Drunk?
• Cross-eyed?
• Very sleepy?
  

Notes
Taskmaster task reference (UK S10E09). Feel free to write your own monsters (and/or post them in the comments). The description should be convoluted, but each individual element should be clear, brief, and distinct. Most of them should be easy to draw (the bicycle is just pure evil). Pause while describing the monster to let people catch up. Really relish each word.

This game leads to some truly hilarious mock-arguments over the number of legs, what constitutes a fang, etc. It's good fun.
 

Final Notes

 A lot of old game books have truly terrible party games in them. Classics like charades, impressions, Who Am I?, Pictionary, etc. can work over video calls, but it's good to try new games or introduce arbitrary twists. Programmed party games, like Jackbox Games, are great but feel really sterile and soulless to me. It's like enforced, optimized, normalized fun. Everyone is looking at a screen instead of at each other.

If you try these games, let me know how they go. I will not accept responsibility for any disasters that might result.

Goodbye 2020. You won't be missed.