2020/06/13

OSR: Arms and Armour: The Power of Plate

OSR-type-games traditionally use one number to represent how hard a character is to hit. For the purposes of this article, we're going to call that number Armour Class (AC).Dexterity (the stat) might increase* that AC. Wearing armour also increases AC*. The higher** the number, the less like a character is to take damage.

*Or decreases, if you're using descending armour class, but you get the idea.
**Or lower, see above.


And that's usually fine. It's just a game after all. It's not a game about armour or even (arguably) a game about fighting.

But it's also not very realistic. Armour doesn't work like that.
Desperta Ferro no 4

How Does Armour Work

I'm going to lean on this article by fairly heavily. It (and the entire blog) explains complex topics in a clear, pop-culture-accessible way. You can also look up hundreds of videos of reenactors and enthusiasts doing surprising things in armour.

Armour is good. Humans are squishy. Everyone who could afford to wear armour did. "Afford", in this case, means both financially and energetically. Armour is heavy; if you can't do your job while wearing it, you'll die anyway.
 

Why Realism?

Because the real world, particularly the past, is interesting, weird, and unintuitive. If you can make realistic things work in your games, they can add a layer of complexity and value.

If you can't, they can add a layer of tedious and pointless bookkeeping. There are a lot of systems out there that claim to "fix D&D" by emulating "realistic medieval combat". Nine times out of ten, they're enthusiastic and detailed but utterly tedious. Stances and guards and fifty different kinds of polearms. Rules for every helmet. There's a market for that kind of complexity, but I like simple rules to explain complex concepts.
  

Trade-Offs

Cost and Abundance: tend to only matter in the first few sessions. Once the PCs have money, they'll try to buy the best gear locally available.

Inventory Slots: a better trade. The more Inventory Slots you fill with Armour, the fewer you have for weapons, tools, and supplies. (Inventory Slots are equal to a PC's Strength score, or 10, or 12, or some other arbitrary but low number.)

Stat Penalties: a strange trade. The better your armour, the fewer roles you can perform. You are less likely to set up an ambush and more likely to be caught while running away.

Assumptions

It's the 14th century... ish, Europe... ish. Full plate armour exists, but is not particularly common. Firearms and cannons are primitive. Everything exists in a murky transition between feudal power and monarchical states. Mercenaries are becoming more common. Wizards are present, but not common and not apocalyptically powerful.
 

Damage Types

For clarity.

Slashing. The most common type. Animals with claws, swords wielded by untrained users, etc. If you can do it with a bread knife, it's Slashing damage. Makes a horrible mess of unarmoured flesh but is defeated by most armour.

Piercing. Pressure applied at a point. Daggers, arrows, crossbow bolts. Arrows are a borderline case in some ways, but I didn't want to give them a separate damage type. Piercing damage punches directly through armour or, more likely, hits a weak point like a joint or a gap.

Bludgeoning. Pressure applied broadly. Hammers, chair legs, trampling. Big bruises, concussions.

Crushing. Unstoppable pressure. A hippo's bite, falling off a cliff, a hammer trap, etc. Turns plate armour into a squashed tin can. Typically, not reduced by armour or spells. Firearms and cannons might deal Crushing damage.

Elemental. Acid, Ice, Fire, Ice, Lightning, Stone (maybe? Might be covered by other damage types), Void (Sonic), and Water. Stuff you can't avoid, even in armour. Hot sand or oil deals fire damage.

Magic. The darkest magic. Or just regular magic. Bypasses mere metal, leather, and flesh. Sometimes deals damage directly to a creature's soul.
Branca branca branca!

Rules

 
Leather Armour

"Leather Armour" is fictional; armour made of leather existed. This tier covers quilted fabric, fish leather, wood, hide, etc. It's cheap. It's abundant. Leather Armour occupies 2 Inventory Slots and reduces incoming Slashing damage by 3. It does not penalize Stealth or Movement.

Chain Armour
Chain armour is expensive. It occupies 4 Inventory Slots and reduces incoming Slashing damage by 6.

Plate Armour
Very expensive. It occupies 6 Inventory Slots and reduces incoming Slashing and Bludgeoning damage by 6, and Piercing damage by 4.

Shields
Common. A Shield occupies 1 Inventory Slot and must be wielded in 1 hand. It reduces incoming Slashing, Bludgeoning, and Piercing damage by 2. A shield can also be sundered, destroying it but reducing incoming damage from one source by 1d12.

Magic Armour
Very rare, possibly temporary, possibly cursed. Reduces incoming Magic damage by some amount. Enchanted shields, amulets, charms or caps are also viable. Magic Armour can also decrease or completely negate Elemental damage.

Bits of Armour
You can subdivide armour into pieces, granting fractional bonuses or using hit locations. That seems like a lot of effort to me. Yes, a steel helmet and breastplate with limited other armour is realistic, but it rarely seems to come up in play. Either a PC can afford a full suit and wants the full benefits, or they can't and don't.

Axel Sauerwald

Weapons

This list is not exhaustive, but should let a GM assign both damage and size to most weapons.

Improvised
Improvised weapons typically occupy either 1/3rd or 1 Inventory Slots. They deal 1d4 damage and can be thrown 10'. A shield can be used as an improvised weapon.

  • Broken Bottles: Slashing
  • Rocks, Chairs: Bludgeoning
     
Light
Light Weapons occupy 1/3rd of an Inventory Slot. They can be thrown 30'.
  • Daggers: Piercing

Medium
Medium weapons occupy 1 Inventory Slot. If wielded in 1 hand, they deal 1d8 damage. If wielded in 2 hands, they deal 1d10 damage.
  • Swords: Slashing or Piercing
  • Axes: Slashing
  • Hammers: Bludgeoning
     
Heavy
Heavy weapons occupy 2 Inventory Slots. They deal 1d12 damage and must be wielded in 2 hands.
Big Swords Slashing or Piercing damage.
  • Big Swords: Slashing or Piercing
  • Big Axes: Slashing
  • Big Hammers: Bludgeoning
     
Reach
Reach weapons occupy 2 Inventory slots. They deal 1d8 damage, but let the wielder fight from the second rank of a formation, where they can't be hit by anything but Reach or Ranged weapons. They must be wielded in 2 hands.
  • Spears: Piercing
  • Complicated Polearms: Pick a damage type pair. Slashing and Piercing. Slashing and Bludgeoning. Piercing and Bludgeoning. Though I'd suggest making Bludgeoning damage harder to find, or reducing its damage to a d6.
     
Ranged
Ranged weapons occupy 1 Inventory Slot and have a base 30' range. They must be wielded in 2 hands.
  • Bows: 1d6 Piercing
  • Crossbows: 1d12 Piercing. Takes 1 round to reload.
     
All melee weapons add the wielder's Strength bonus (usually 0, sometimes +1 or -1, occasionally +2 or -2) to their damage.

Magic weapons either add Magic damage to an attack, or turn all the attack's damage into Magic damage (or Elemental damage).

  • A +2 Dagger might deal 1d6 Piercing damage and 2 Magic damage, or it might deal 1d6+2 Magic damage. Depends on your system and preference.
  • A +2 Dagger of Fire might deal 1d6+2 Fire damage, 1d6 Fire damage and 2 Magic damage, or 1d6 Piercing damage and 2 Fire damage. Again, there are a few ways to divide damage.
 

Additional Rules Clarification

Attack rolls vary with system, class, level, etc, but should be somewhere between 50% and 90%, in ideal conditions. Critical Hits, (a 1-in-20 chance) deal double damage.

Being prone reduces damage reduction by half. Depending on the system, prone targets may also be easier to hit with melee attacks. "Prone" covers conditions where a target is easier to hit. The more you can do to imperil or impede your target, the better your chance to hit.


Osprey #155

Fearful Symmetry

You can start to see how it all fits together.

Wearing Plate armour and carrying a Shield (the best available mundane defense) reduces most incoming damage by at least 6... but at a cost. A PC's damage output is reduced (because they can't wield a 2-handed weapon). 7 of their very limited Inventory Slots are full of stuff that's only useful in combat, 8 if you include a weapon.

Plate without a Shield still fills up 6 slots. Piercing weapons can sneak through a few extra points of damage, but in return, a PC can wield a mighty two-handed weapon and deal some significant pain.

Chain is a decent compromise. Damage reduction against the most common form of damage, especially in a dungeon, but relative vulnerability to both Bludgeoning and Piercing damage. A shield helps cover those gaps.

Leather only occupies 2 Inventory Slots, so it's viable for low-capacity PCs, or PCs who need to carry a lot of other items. It doesn't penalize Steath or Movement, so sneaky-types can wear it without fear.

No armour is also viable. If you don't get hit, you don't need to worry about damage reduction, and there are a lot of ways to not get hit. And you've got all those sweet Inventory Slots to fill with items that can save your life, or get you rich, in non-combat situations.

Inventory switching becomes a critical issue. In the GLOG, the first 3 Inventory Slots are quick-draw, meaning a PC can access them immediately. They could be weapons, vital tools, spellbooks, a lantern, etc. Anything else requires 1 full round to access.

If a PC wants to focus all their resources on combat, they may want to pick Plate armour (in their general inventory), a Shield (in 1 quick-draw slot), a Sword (in 1 quick-draw slot), and... well, something else. With 9 Inventory Slots full of stuff, and with weapon and shield at the ready, they're in trouble if they get into a non-combat situation. Holding a lantern or torch will be difficult; they'll need to drop it to draw their sword and raise their shield.
Wheeeee...
Cavalry charges hurt.


Rock Paper Scissors... Lizard Spock

The discussion so far has focused on equivalent arms and armour: fights where both sides have the same tools and tactics. But typical dungeon inhabitants change the considerations.

Giant Spiders, Centipedes, etc.
Armour as leather (-2 Slashing damage) or unarmoured. You could also add bonus damage from bludgeoning sources. Chitin is fragile. They typically deal Piercing damage (bites), plus secondary effects (poison, paralysis, etc.)

Goblins, Kobolds, etc.
Unarmoured, or Leather (-2 Slashing damage). Some organized goblins might have shields (-2 Slashing, Bludgeoning, and Piercing damage). They typically deal Piercing damage (daggers,  spears, arrows).

Orcs, Hobgoblins, etc.

Leather (-2 Slashing damage) or Chain (-6 Slashing damage). Sometimes Shields (-2 Slashing, Bludgeoning, and Piercing damage). Rarely, Plate (-6 Slashing and Bludgeoning damage, -4 Piercing damage), but typically with two-handed weapons instead of with a shield.

Mimics, Giant Rats, Zombies, etc.

No armour. Typically deal Slashing or Bludgeoning damage.

Skeletons, Golems, etc.
Immune to Slashing and Piercing damage. Typically deal Slashing or Piercing damage.

Oozes
Typically immune to Piercing damage. Frequently have other immunities. Typically deal bludgeoning or acid damage.

Ghosts, Liches, Other Horrible Things, etc.
Immune to everything except Magic damage. May take some types of Elemental damage. Typically deal Magic damage.

The conclusion seems clear. Bring many damage types, switch between them, and try to either deal Elemental or Magic damage. But rarity, risk, cost, and lack of inventory space will by necessity limit these options. There's no optimal solution, but there are a lot of interesting solutions. And that's very appealing.
KILART (choe, heonhwa)

Dungeon Tactics


Dungeons are weird environments. Medieval warfare is not designed for 10' hallways, pit traps, and goblins who can see in the dark.

Arms and armour adapt to the pressures faced by their users. Time lag exists, as it always has (and in some fields, always will), but it's worth examining what pressures medieval armour faces underground.
When history moved slowly, as it did before 1900, rulers were slow in learning realities in the exercise of government, and some, like the Bourbons, never learned at all. It took a very long time before rulers came to realize that armed service would have to be paid for or that they needed to concern themselves with the wants of the lower orders from whom their armies were drawn. We have been living since under Henry Adams’ law of the acceleration of changing times, which obscures for us the time lag that existed for our ancestors between the fact of change and the social and political understanding of what had happened.
-The First Salute: A View of the American Revolution

How the "fact of change" and the "understanding of change" will depend on your setting. Is crypt-robbing an established profession, with guilds and a long history? Arms and armour will reflect this. Is it new or sporadic? Arms and armour will be adapted, sometimes imperfectly, from battlefield use.

Maneuvering

Rolling, dodging, leaping, and climbing are all feasible in full plate.

Heat
Mines are warm, but so is the desert, and people wore full plate in the desert. Not worried.

Water
Evidence exists that it's possible, with effort, to tread water and swim along the surface for a few minutes in plate armour. I've yet to see anyone ascend from the depths in plate armour. Drowning is still a very real possibility if someone falls into water or is carrying other heavy items. Just because it's possible doesn't mean it's sensible.

Visibility and Awareness

Armour is noisy. A good helmet, by necessity, restricts vision and hearing. Both are flaws in a dungeon. Corridors echo. Pit traps and ambushes are obscured. I'd expect to see a lot of helmets with folding fronts or visors, so an armoured warrior could switch from scanning mode to combat mode immediately. Forgoing a helmet entirely is still silly, unless you're storing your brain elsewhere.

Training
Cavalry combat is useless underground. Horses are great on an open field. You can't joust, you can't practice a full-speed charge, and you can't rely on your fellow explorers. They're just in it for the gold, after all.

A wall of spears and pikes is still formidable... if you can get it to hold. A formation 30 across and 3 deep is sturdy. In a confined space, with no room to maneuver, wheel, or retreat in good order, that same formation in miniature is very vulnerable to disruption. One fireball, one panicking hireling, one lucky goblin, and the whole formation goes to hell. It doesn't have the width to fill gaps.

So I suspect most "realistic" dungeon fights would be two small groups encountering each other, sizing each other up, possibly charging to within 10' or so, and then, after some posturing, retreating.

Dungeon combat requires much more tactical finesse than most armies in the 14th century could manage. Groups need to coordinate and execute complex plans. They need to adapt to unprecedented situations.
 
Hirelings and Followers
Morale is crucial. People typically won't fight to the death. If they do, it's usually not for high ideals or promises of gold. It's because they want to protect themselves or the person next to them, or because they fear being shamed or outcast for their behavior. That's it.

A peasant hired to hold a torch will be quaking in their boots at every noise underground. At the first sign of combat, they're gone. Running is almost always a better answer than fighting.

A combat hireling will fight based on their leader's charisma; the personal bond between leader and follower, the expectation of a culture, the pressure of tradition. Better pay will help get your hirelings to combat but won't nessesarily hold them in line. A share, or a half-share, instead of wages binds the hireling to a group; they feel like they're part of a unit, not a disposable accessory. Morale tests and reaction rolls are critical.
 
Spare Shields and Weapons
It's definitely worth giving a shield or two to a hireling, but in a combat situation, retrieving a spare shield might not be viable. Access to a variety of weapons is also good.

Marching Order
For groups of 4 or more, marching order becomes critical. Who's in front? Who's watching for ambushes from behind? Where's the squishy wizard?

The most common plan seems to be to put your best fighters in front, your squishy support people in the middle, and backup fighters behind.

Ranged attacks in cramped quarters are tricky. Firing into melee is very dangerous (thought that might not stop a suitably motivated PC). In larger rooms, the ability to deal damage without putting yourself at risk is valuable.

Pedro Krüger Garcia

Downsides

This system can make some dice rolls meaningless.

Traditional One-Number Armour Class

  • It's your turn to act. You roll a dice. It's not a hit. Nothing happens. Boo.
  • It's your turn to act. You roll a dice. It's a hit. You roll and deal damage. Yay!

New Damage-Reducing Armour
  • It's your turn to act. You roll a dice. It's not a hit. Nothing happens. Boo.
  • It's your turn to act. You roll a dice. It's a hit. You roll and deal damage. Yay!
  • It's your turn to act. You roll a dice. You hit! Yay! You deal damage. Nothing happens. Boo.
Instead of a binary outcome (failure+no damage;success+damage), you've got 3 outcomes, 2 of which end in disappointment (failure+no damage;success+damage;success+no damage).

You could switch to an auto-hit system like Electric Bastionland. All attacks hit; armour reduces damage. Situational bonuses and penalties increase or decrease damage dice size or add extra dice.

But E.B.'s system doesn't really support leveling progression. You're as good as you're going to get when you start. Leveling (such as it is) improves your HP, but doesn't really change your effectiveness.

Bookkeeping
It require a bit more math. Modifying a standard character sheet to list all available damage reductions should save time. I'm not sure the tradeoff is worth it.

Testing
I'm still fiddling with these numbers, but that's the beauty of the concept. Once you've chosen your variables, you can change the values to suit individual tastes. If you think Leather Armour should provide more protection against Piercing weapons, add it.
 

Advantages

Arise My Minions
It makes mass combat math easier. The GM could roll all the attacks individually, but rounding methods save time.


40 goblins armed with daggers (1d6, piercing) attack a knight in plate armour and with a shield (reducing incoming piercing damage by 6). Goblins have a base 50% chance to hit, so 20 attacks hit. Of those, 1 is expected to be a critical hit, so the GM rolls 1d6x2. The Knight takes that much damage, -6 of course.

If the Knight is knocked prone, the goblins have a 70% chance to hit. 28 attacks hit. 1 is expected to be a critical hit, but all 27 other attacks deal 1d6-3 damage. Ouch.

Don't get knocked prone. Goblins will stick daggers in your eyes.

Rewards Versatility
Having a mix of damage types will almost always be rewarding. There's not one universal answer. Piercing damage is good. but some common dungeon creatures (skeletons and oozes) negate it completely. Ranged weapons are good, but you might not be able to use the. Etc. Again, it encourages interesting choices and compromises.

Alters Expectations

It's easy to tell a story about the past that fits our current notions. Just a big pile of tropes, reinforced by other bits of media that are also made of tropes, until any relation to reality vanishes.

Armour is good. Wear it if you can.

2020/06/11

40k: Baneblade Details & Restoration

Time for some Warhammer 40k minutiae!
 

Early Baneblades

In the early '90s, a sculptor named Mike Biasi sculpted the first Warhammer 40k scale Baneblade tank. The model was eventually produced by a number of companies. If you want more information, the Citadel Miniatures wiki has a complete writeup.
The tanks match the aesthetic of the Rogue Trader era. They're not particularly realistic; a scale modeler in the '90s would clearly classify them as "toys", not the more dignified "models." It's still a glorious hodge-podge of sci-fi tropes, knockoff monsters, and confused lore.

But in 1993, Warhammer 40k gets a second edition. The aesthetic shifts. The Imperial Army becomes the Imperial Guard. Real-world military units, though exaggerated and altered, become the main inspiration. Guns get bigger. Sunglasses disappear.

To keep up with shifting sensibilities, Armorcast released an upgraded "Super Detailed" Baneblade model around 1997.
This kit is interesting for a few reasons. The original kit has a few enormous rivets. The detailed kit has lines of thin rivets, a built-in ladder, and a sort of fleur-del-lis armour texture along the skirts and turret. Realistic features, like spare tracks, smoke launchers, communications aerials, muzzle brakes, and hatches. The Super Detailed Baneblade is clearly meant to evoke the newly released plastic Leman Russ kit. It also makes full use of resin's capacity to hold detail.

The sponsons still feature the "guns in all directions" design, like the Whippet tank or other WW1 or interwar designs. The main hull has become a twin of the turret weapon. The tiny domed weapon on the front hull has disappeared, never to return.

In the early 2000s, GW started to become more aggressive about copyright and licensing. All existing licenses were pulled and concentrated one one local company; Forgeworld.

Warhammer 40k 3rd Edition, 1998 to 2004, encompassed an enormous range of aesthetic changes. By late 2003, Forgeworld had fully shifted to kits that tickle the interest of military modelers, or are at least inspired by "models" instead of "toys." Imperial Armour: Volume 1 is a sort of Jane's Guide to a fictional universe. It presents vehicles, aircraft, tactics, and formations as if they were real, as if actual logistics and camoflauge might apply to a universe with flying space cathedrals.

And the tyrant king of this new aesthetic is the revised Baneblade.

The Lucius-pattern baneblade has a hull-mounted cannon has a round pivot hinge. The turret has a curved plate. The side of each hull has an extra triangular armor plate near the front.
The Mars pattern has a smooth armour block around the hull cannon. The gun mount is also smooth. Just a slight difference.

The Rebuild

A very kind friend decided to brighten up my social isolation by mailing over a very beat up old Mars-pattern Baneblade. Most of the bits were intact, but needed some work. I tossed it in Simple Green for 2 weeks, scrubbed off most of the paint, and started to fix it.

If you want to see every grimy step, this rebuild thread from 2013 should satisfy your curiosity. I'm going to focus on some oddly specific weird bits. And I do mean oddly specific.



Baneblade Treads

Oh lord, the treads. These are the instructions Forgeworld provides. Not exactly Ikea-quality.

That's it. The back side of the page contains assembly instructions for the rest of the tank. Don't want to waste paper, after all. Around 50% of people seem to put the treads on backwards. This tank had one set correctly assembled, one set completely reversed. Luckily Simple Green weakens superglue, so it wasn't too difficult to pop it apart and rebuilt it.

Here are the rebuilt treads. The original designers must have cast a set of 4 tracks (3 blanks and 1 with a skull), then built up the full tread set from sets of 4. It's a clever way to do it, but it does lead to misalignments and errors. The gaps in red are mine (and inevitable, even with plenty of hot water resin bending.). The gaps and misalignments between the two red arrows are the kit's. That long straight segment is one piece. It's more obvious in person, but it's  in no way from straight and even. Even hot water bending can't help; it's literally cast crooked.

Oh well. Mud covereth a multitude of sins.
 

Baneblade Turret

Greebling is an art. The detail on the FW kits is, by the standards of later kits, a bit primitive, but it's still a leap forward from even the "Super Detailed" Armorcast model.

The coaxial autocannon is a FW original, identical to the Chimera turret model produced at the same time.

The "targeter" on the turret comes straight from a Leman Russ kit, but with a new custom-built front plate. The hatch is also from a Russ. There's a greeble on there that's clearly a heavy flamer cut up, but I'm not sure exactly which heavy flamer was used. It might be one from the FW Chimera heavy flamer turret model, but I can't find a clear picture to confirm.

The turret also includes spare track mounting brackets. I'm not sure if the original kit came with spare tracks or not. I don't plan on adding them, but it's a nice detail.
 

Hull Details

The front hatch is from the plastic Chimera kit. Two side door above the Baneblade's engine are from the Chimera's top access door (and the little triangular door below it is from the Leman Russ targeter). The rear engine access hatch is a side hatch from the Chimera kit. There's another hull vent (not pictured) from the Leman Russ kit. The two hatches on the rear of the hull (also not pictured) are the engine hatch and 2 side hatches from the same Leman Russ kit.

The hull is fairly basic, but you can see that some pieces have sculpted weld lines; a little detail that shows the sculptor was familiar with military model kits and actual tanks.

The three small turrets (two on the sponsons, one on the main hull) have identical bodies but different weapons. Just a handy little way to reduce casting effort. The main hull-mounted cannon is just a plasticard tube with holes drilled in it. The spare road wheels and external fuel drums are nice details not present on the older kits.
The hull also has false flame-cut marks for added realism, as if the top and sides of the mail hull were assembled interlocking slabs instead of being one cast piece. The engine vents or air filters on the top of the hull are charmingly slapdash; they're just bits of straight cut plasticard arranged in lines with highly variable spacing. The many, many hinges on the hull are plasticard rods and dots. It must have been tedious work getting them lined up by hand.

I wonder who sculpted the original model? They probably have some stories to tell.

There are a few casting issues and mold slips. The original assembler tried to fix some of them, but I'll need to do a lot of filing and gap filling to get the tank into shape.
 

Design

The Baneblade is a ludicrous tank in many ways. It's supposed to weigh 300 tons. 13.6m long, 8.5m wide, 6.3m tall. It's the size of a house. Some internal diagrams show separate rooms; it's more like a submarine than a tank. Top speed of 25kph.
 
But it fits the setting. It's a gothic land-fortress. Rail or road transport presumably isn't a concern; in the Grim Darkness of the Far Future, railways might be built on a scale designed to accommodate a Baneblade or two on a single car. Anti-gravity transport vehicles exist. Presumably a Baneblade is just skycraned from location to location.
 
This Baneblade is going to be the secondary command vehicle of my little army. It's like an archeological dig; I'm cleaning off remaining paint chips carefully to avoid damaging the venerable resin details. But that's all I've got for now. Hopefully it'll be painted by the next post. In the meantime, have a distant look at the rest of the army on a bright sunny day.



2020/06/08

Film Notes: Conspiracy (2001)

Conspiracy is a film about an hour-and-a-half meeting.

In this time of social isolation, watching a film about an hour-and-a-half catered meeting might actually have some appeal, if only on nostalgic grounds.

Conspiracy is not a documentary. It's fictionalized, but based on as many facts as possible. The original German version, Die Wannseekonferenz (available online here) is very good, but loses something in subtitles, and possibly in subtlety of language (though the camera work, lighting, and pacing in Die Wannseekonferenz are superb). They're different films.

I don't intend to summarize Conspiracy. If you can, watch it, then read this post. If not, read a summary and try to keep up, but please don't comment until you've seen the film.


"Fridge Logic" is the term for continuity errors and leaps of logic that only occur to an audience after the film is over, and when they're at home staring at the fridge. It worked in the theater, but an hour or so later it stopped making sense. J. J. Abrams is a master of fridge logic. Most GMs are the same; as long as the players nodded along and rolled some dice, internal inconsistencies are unimportant.

Conspiracy has reverse fridge logic. Instead of staring at your fridge thinking of inconsistencies, you'll be thinking of parallels. A turn of phrase. An implication. An eye movement. The way a character lurks just outside a conversation. A moment you recognize from real life.
 

Terror and Horror

  • Terror: feeling of dread and anticipation. The tell-tale heart, the looming presence, the slow walk up the stairs. Your heart pounds
  • Horror: feeling of shock and fright. The jump scare, the crash of lightning, the scream. Adrenaline surges.
There are no moments of horror in Conspiracy. No special effects. Barely any tension, as conventionally shown in films. It's just a meeting. Artillery and barbed wire fences are imagined, not shown, and that makes it all the more terrifying. The coldest possible dread.

I am fascinated by stories that aren't stories. Conspiracy is a superb example. I've been trying to cite it properly for years; instead, I merged all the notes into this article.

 

The Devil and the Law

"And when the last law was down and the Devil turned 'round on you, where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat?"
There are two theories about what the Law, with a capital L, is for.

The first theory says the Law should apply to everyone, without bias and without prejudice. The king and the peasant, devil and the deep blue sea. The fact that it does not is a failure of society and a failure of the Law. 

The second theory is that there must be in-groups whom the Law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the Law binds but does not protect.1

The second proposition is, in a world without divinely appointed kings, indefensible. It's also remarkably useful as a predictive tool. If people subscribe to the second theory - and many people do, often without realizing it - any apparent inconsistencies between their goals and their actions disappear when this axiom is applied. Choice here, but not there? Freedom for us, but not them? Who gets human rights? What speech is free? It's not hypocrisy, it's the oldest possible belief system. For us, not for them.

Conspiracy has everyone behaving as if they subscribed to the first option while transparently following the second. Sometimes willingly, sometimes accidentally. "Any legal code worthy of the name restricts the enforces of the law as well as its subjects; there are some things you cannot do." So says... Wilhelm Stuckart, in the film at least.

Believing you follow the first theory while secretly cleaving to the second is extremely dangerous.
 

The Law and the law

One of the supreme ironies of humanity is that virtually every awful event has been perfectly legal. The law is a tool, and like a hammer it can be used to drive a nail or split a skull. Almost every positive change, in the modern world at least, has been due to illegal action.

The recognition that the law is not just is ancient. Consider the story of Noah (not that Noah, the other one).

Then the daughters of Zelophehad came forward. Zelophehad was son of Hepher son of Gilead son of Machir son of Manasseh son of Joseph, a member of the Manassite clans. The names of his daughters were: Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah. They stood before Moses, Eleazar the priest, the leaders, and all the congregation, at the entrance of the tent of meeting, and they said, “Our father died in the wilderness; he was not among the company of those who gathered themselves together against the Lord in the company of Korah, but died for his own sin; and he had no sons. Why should the name of our father be taken away from his clan because he had no son? Give to us a possession among our father’s brothers.” 
Moses brought their case before the Lord. 

And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying: The daughters of Zelophehad are right in what they are saying; you shall indeed let them possess an inheritance among their father’s brothers and pass the inheritance of their father on to them.
-Numbers 27 or Numbers 36 or Joshua 17. 2
The Book of Numbers, with all respect, can be really fucking boring. But this story is important. It's so important it was included three times. Five women said the law was not just. And God, the wrathful Old-Testament God if you're into that sort of thing, who not 11 chapters earlier dropped Korah and his followers down the express elevator to Sheol, changed the law. Even if it's just a story, it shows it was important to the authors.

Or if you'd prefer a more modern interpretation, consider Sir Robert Peel's Principles of Policing.

7. To maintain at all times a relationship with the public that gives reality to the historic tradition that the police are the public and that the public are the police, the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full-time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence.

Or everything Terry Pratchett wrote.

The Law, with a capital L, lives in peoples' heads. And when the law, as written, with a lowercase l, or the implementation of the law, clashes with the Law in people's heads, people will seek redress.
 

I'm cynical enough to believe that the Law in people's heads is just as subject to propaganda, pressure, time, and trickery as anything else. It runs on the same meat; it evolved from the same lizards. Fascist rhetoric often seeks to divide the world into people who listen to the (i.e. our) Law and people who don't, and it usually works. But for good or for ill, the law and the Law match, or face the consequences.
 

A Chain of Inevitability

Wooden-headedness, the source of self-deception, is a factor that plays a remarkably large role in government. It consists in assessing a situation in terms of preconceived fixed notions while ignoring or rejecting any contrary signs. It is acting according to wish while not allowing oneself to be deflected by the facts. It is epitomized in a historian’s statement about Philip II of Spain, the surpassing wooden-head of all sovereigns: “No experience of the failure of his policy could shake his belief in its essential excellence.” 
-Tuchman, The March of Folly

If you work, you have been at a meeting where something was presented as inevitable. And perhaps it was. In the grand scheme of things, very few events are actually inevitable, but it is often convenient to frame them that way. Starting from a position of inevitability allows focus. We are opening a new branch office in Omaha; how should we go about it? Climate change is a threat facing humanity; how should we combat it? Etc.


But for every useful application of inevitability, there is a dark application. X is a threat to our security, therefore we must. X meets our criteria, therefore we must. X is vital to our interests. And so the chain of inevitability proceeds, marching towards terror and disaster, because if the first cause if inevitable, no one wants to break the chain. No one wants to force a fundamental reevaluation of priorities, a complete rewrite, a total overhaul. Just sign your name on the dotted line, do your part, and move on.

It is difficult to combat self-deception in an organization if people in the organization are willing to be deceived. Since self-deception can lead to success - as gamblers know all too well - it can be difficult to step out of line. It's still a useful principle to keep in mind.
 

I Could Have Sworn This Was An RPG Blog

Yeah yeah yeah. It's not like your monitor is running out of ink.

Watching a film with actors displaying the peak of their skill is valuable. Watching a story that isn't a story is valuable. Grappling with an idea that defies acceptance is valuable. Watching superbly crafted language - nobody actually spoke the way people in the film speak, but nobody spoke the way Shakespeare had them speak either - is valuable.

Knowing is not the same as acting. Woe unto you, etc.

1. As formulated by Frank Wilhoit here, and cited by Fred Clark here. You don't need to agree with the conclusions Wilhoit draws to appreciate the succinct formula.

2. Or Sesame Street, 1983, if you'd prefer.

2020/05/16

OSR: Extra Ultraviolet Grasslands Vehicle Upgrades

Here are some extra vehicle rules for Ultraviolet Grasslands. Fuel costs are here. Normally I try to provide attribution for images, but in this case there are just too many. If you want to track down sources you're on your own.

Guzzolene-powered vehicles are sturdy, simple, and easy to maintain. A self-driving golem needs a Golemmafex. A biomechanical beast needs a Fleshcrafter. But a simple vehicle that drinks distilled hydrocarbons and spits out fire and speed can be maintained with a hammer, some wire, and a some luck, provided you don't care about safety or environmental standards. In the Ultraviolet Grasslands smog is the least of your worries.
Side Note: I think everyone should try to own a truly terrible gasoline vehicle built between 1940 (when people figured out how to make vehicles that worked) and 1977 (when people figured out how to make vehicles fancy). You'll learn a lot. Find something that sort-of runs or could potentially run, fix it just enough so that it does run, and drive it until it doesn't run anymore and is too expensive to fix.
Remember, anything built before the invention of safety is intrinsically safe.
OC, based on the wisdom of the ancients.
Any upgrade for a smaller vehicle can be purchased for a larger vehicle at double the cost (so putting a Gun Mount on a Road Yacht costs €100, etc.). Some upgrades might not make sense, so talk to your GM.

Upgrades are a great way for a group to sink extra cash into a shared project.

The mechanical logic is simple. Everything is expensive. If it takes up space in a vehicle, it reduces the vehicle's capacity by the number of Sacks listed. A Sack is 10 inventory slots, 1 person, 1 person's inventory, or 1 week of food and water for 1 person.

I haven't put any vehicle combat rules here. If you need them, try Gaslands or something, or just make a bunch of rulings on the fly. Vehicle-on-vehicle fights are more about mobile terrain anyway.

Metal Steeds - One-Way Ticket To Organ Donation

Capacity: 2 Sacks
Cost: €1,200
If it's 90% engine, 8% wheels, and 2% seat, it's a Metal Steed. No space for supplies, no room for error. Goes like the absolutely clappers. The best are air-breathing, like wicker autogolems, and require no fuel. Most need 1 Supply of fuel every 2 weeks.

Metal Steed Addons:

Gun Mount: €50
Lets the rider fire 1 weapon while riding at full speed. The weapon must fit in the rider's inventory (part of the 2-sack capacity). Attaching or detaching it takes 2 rounds.

Sidecar: €500
Increases capacity by 1 Sack, but loses the Fast trait.

Aquatic: €1,000
Sometimes, all the good loot is buried at the bottom of a lake. The vehicle can no longer operate on the surface, but it can move underwater. It's not a proper submarine, with rooms and torpedo tubes and all of that. It's just a pressurized pod with an engines on it, a diving suit with attitude. The driver can wiggle their arms through thick diving gloves. Only works on Metal Steeds.

Gyrocoptic! €1,000
Flying in the Ultraviolet Grasslands is a bad idea. Bits of invisible stuckforce shred aircraft. Purple haze rots your brain. Dormant anti-missile defense systems wake up, think "oh, that looks interesting" and blows you out of the sky. Still it beats walking. A caravan with a flying vehicle gains 30 minute advanced warning against most encounters. Flying vehicles ignore terrain. Only works on Metal Steeds.

Wicker Autowagon - Witness Me!

Capacity: 3 Sacks
Cost: €2,000
A little bit bigger, a little bit sturdier, and a whole lot dryer in the rain. Some are literally made of wicker, some just look like they are. If you can fit 2 people in the front seats and some cold snacks in the back, you've got a Wicker Autowagon. Some are small enough that air-powered engines can haul them, but if you can't afford one, or you want a little more oomph, fuelled engines are the way to go. A non-air-powered Wicker Autowagon sips 1 Supply of fuel every 2 weeks.
 
Wicker Autowagon Addons:
 
Nitro:
€50 per use

For up to 1 minute, the vehicle moves at Ludicrous Speed.

Snazzy Paintjob: €100
Shiny and polished. Options include, if normal colours aren't good enough for you: Scarabeo, Pearl-Tone, Fordite Swirl Supreme, Vantablack, Gibbon, Taupeamarine, and Splunge.

Jet Booster: €1,000
Occupies 1 Sack. About the dumbest idea imaginable, but the first thing anyone tries when they find a jet engine from a bunker. For up to 10 minutes, the vehicle moves at Ludicrous Speed. Gaps smaller than 30' can be safely ignored. Uses up almost all the vehicle's stored fuel. After firing, the vehicle has 30 minutes of safe driving left. Proper Oldtech Jet Fuel lets the vehicle can use this ability twice on one Supply of fuel.

Dropper: €300
Occupies 1 Sack. The back of the vehicle opens up and drops something. Could be a mine, some trained assassin-skeletons on rollerskates, a bunch of oil, some skulls stuffed with hornets, or just a whole bunch of scrap metal. The Sack occupied by the Dropper includes whatever you load into it. For an extra €100, the Dropper can launch stuff forward or sideways instead, becoming an ejector seat or a compressed air cannon.

Hover Wheels: €1,000
The vehicle floats on billowing air-jets, stuckforce discs, or dozens of spinning propeller blades. It's not practical but it is cool. Ignores mildly difficult terrain.

Hood Ornament: €100
Shiny, chrome, and, in emergencies, a good thing to cling on to.
 


Road Yacht - Justified and Ancient

Capacity: 6 Sacks
Cost: €4,000
Back in the old days these used to be everywhere. All the blackthumbs know their names, and the names of their vital gubbins: sparkulator, lightning-whirler, juicebox, caboxylator. Parts are as good as currency in some parts of the Grasslands. While some warriors prefer swift Metal Steeds or sprightly Wicker Autogolems, the greatest Knights of the Road pilot their mighty Road Yachts. A Road Yacht drinks 1 Supply of fuel every week.
 
Road Yatch Addons:
 
Luxury Seats:
€300
Made of genuine imitation leather (from genuine imitation cattle) and stuffed with the finest springs. The back seats even fold down to make a bed. Fuzzy dice optional.


Air Conditioning: €500
There's a magic box and by making part of it warmer, somehow the air inside the Road Yatch gets colder. There's probably a bound demon involved. Air Conditioning has no mechanical benefit but it's very impressive.


Fridgermerator: €1,000
Occupies 1 Sack. Can cool up to 6 sacks of storage space to a chilly, supply-maintaining temperature. Excellent for transporting perishable fruit, bodies, etc.

Para-Radio Set: €500
Most of what's broadcast these days isn't fit to be heard by mortal ears, but you can get echoes of tunes long past (or yet to come), coordinate with other vehicles or settlements (weather permitting), and

Loudspeaker: €100
Broadcasts music or speech really loud, to help block out those negative waves.

Big Gun
: €1,500

Occupies 2 Sacks, typically 1 for the gun and 1 for the ammo, maintenance equipment, and blast shields. Options include:
-Flammenwerfer. 3d6 fire damage, Far, Reload 6. Sets everything on fire.
-Rotary Rattlecannon: 2d12, Far, Reload 3. Can actually be used to propel a car backwards.

Turret: €500
Occupies 1 Sack. Lets a Gun Mount or a Big Gun fire in all directions instead of a fixed direction. Also makes a vehicle look properly intimidating.

Safe:
200
Occupies 1 Sack. Can contain 1 additional Sack of vitally important material in a gene-locked steel enclosure. Proof against anyone without serious tools and know-how.

Smoke Launchers:
50 per use
Fills a 100' cube with opaque smoke. For an additional
€10, you can pick the colour of the smoke. Makes shooting or boarding a caravan difficult, but tends to attract attention.



Generic Vech, Porcelain or Prismatic Walker - Fight the Hurricane

Capacity: 12 Sacks
Cost: €6,000
Walkers are great in the Grasslands because they are tall and all the cool factions use them. That's about it, really. Legs have a lot of moving parts to maintain and powering one on guzzolene is silly. Still, some people have an unhealthy obsession with giant mechanical spiders. Upgrading bio-mechanical or fancy golem walkers is significantly more expensive (and beyond the scope of this post). A fuel-powered Walker slurps 1 Supply of fuel every week.

Escape Pod: €600
Occupies 1 Sack. Lets 4 Sacks of capacity (2 people and their inventories) escape a wreck in the event of a catastrophic failure.

Chainsaw Arm
: €1,000

Occupies 3 Sacks. Deals 4d8 melee damage and ignores armour. Ponderous and inaccurate against small targets.

Boarding Ramp: €500
Occupies 1 Sack. Folds out to allow people from one vehicle to board another, or cross a wall, or generally get into trouble.

Bouncer: €1,000
Rocket-packs, nozzles, and springs let the vehicle leap up to 10' in the air while maintaining its current speed. Bouncing more than once per day will inflict structural damage.
 


Autowagon - 12 Yards Long, 2 Lanes Wide, 65 Tons of American Pride

Capacity: 24 sacks
Cost: €10,000
Could be an old Wreckreational Vehicle, a Desert Bus, or something even stranger. Whatever it is, it's big enough to have separate rooms or compartments, a door with a step, and a comically large turning radius. The flagship of a trading caravan, a little slice of home-away-from-home... or a big slice. An Autowagon guzzles 1 Supply of fuel every week.
 
Water Closet: €500
Occupies 4 Sacks. Toilet, sink, and shower. Ludicrously luxurious for the deep grasslands.
 
Observation Deck: €200
Completely useless, wildly impractical, and likely to take out an eye if you hit deep grit. But if you're going to sail across the grasslands, a chrome-railed balcony is the place to be on a calm Orangemonth night.
 
Hydraulic Throne: €1,000
Occupies 1 Sack. Gold-plated, halogen-lit, extendable flexible automechanical seat of grandeur. Deploys from the front, or from the back on a crane. Could also be a giant holographic face with optional flame cannons.
 
Ram: €200
Occupies 2 Sacks. Might of way makes right of way, and being able to bulldoze smaller vehicles off the road could be handy.
 
Winch, Jacks, and Shovels: €100
Occupies 1 Sack. Look, if you're going pretend an Autowagon is an off-road vehicle, you might as well be prepared to deal with the consequences. Gets a vehicle un-stuck in most conditions.
 
Luxury Pod: €500
Occupies 2 Sacks. 1 person and gear can ride in elegant comfort in their own private suite, with a folding bed-chair, hanging lamp, and adorable cupboards for sundries and snacks. This upgrade can be purchased multiple times.
   
Debauchery Pod: €600
Occupies 2 Sacks. The same as a Luxury Pod, but with a meter, drugs cabinet (drugs not included), and additional horizontal surfaces.
 
Medical Pod: €3,000
Occupies 4 Sacks. Room for 2 patients and a doctor. Proper medical equipment, drains, ominous lights, and sterile plastic sheeting. Lets patients heal on the road.
 


War Engine - Tankity Tank Tank Tank

Capacity: 36 Sacks
Cost: €20,000Impractical, cumbersome, huge, and obvious. Might as well slather yourself in barbecue sauce and wait for the vultures. But still, if you've got one, anyone without serious gumption will think twice before crossing your path. Filling up the vehicle's capacity with weapons and armour is strongly encouraged. Otherwise, it's just a long-haul truck. A War Engine slurps 2 Supply of fuel every week, or 3 Supply if run at top speed (still Slow).
 
War Engine Addons:
 
  
Armour Plating: €1,000
Occupies 4 Sacks. The vehicle reduces incoming damage by 8 (or, effectively, ignores small arms, medium arms, and glancing hits from heavier weapons). This upgrade can be purchased multiple times, but at some point you're better off calling it a town.
   
Big Treads: Free
Replaces wheels or centipede legs or whatever. The War Engine now moves Incredibly Slowly, but can ignore terrain, smaller vehicles, or anti-personnel mines. It leaves an obvious track through the landscape.
 
 Really Big Gun: €3,000
Occupies 4 Sacks, typically 2 for the gun and 2 for the ammo, fire prevention equipment, and earplugs. Seriously, what are you expecting to fight out here?
-Artillery Tube: 2d10x1d10, Very Very Far, Reload 20, blast. Ignores armour, intervening terrain, and common sense. Makes a hell of a noise. If it hits anything smaller than a Road Yatch, target must Save or evaporate instead.
-Doom Laser: 3d20, Very Very Far, Reload 10, requires 1 round to charge before firing.





1d10 What's Broken? How Do We Fix It? How Long Until It's Fixed?
1 Sparkulators are clogged. Take them out and file them. 1 hour.
2 Lightning whirler isn't whirling right. Squint at it, twiddle some screws. 30 minutes.
3 Fuel tube's busted. Run a new one. 1 hour.
4 No brakes. It'll probably be fine. Don't worry about it.
5 Flat tire. Get out the tools, patch it, swap it. 30 minutes
6 Radumilator is blown. Keep adding liquid as we go. Ongoing issue.
7 Fuel pump is seized. Probably need a new one. 12 hours.
8 Won't hold any pressure. Bit of bubblegum welding. 1d20 hours.
9 Carboxymlator's stuck or something. Hit it with the backside of a wrench. 10 minutes.
10 Wheel bearing has locked up. Grease and a hammer. 2 hours.
11 Threw a belt. Find something long and stretchy. 30 minutes.
12 Lightning hoses are broken. String together some new ones. 30 minutes.
13 Confuser unit gives an error code. Get the diagnosticator, push buttons. 1d20 hours.
14 Transmission goes "clunk". Take the whole thing off. 2 days.
15 Transmisison goes "grrrrntktktktkt" Just don't use that gear. It'll be fine.
16 Zeusbox won't charge the battery. Replace it, ideally with a better one. 1 hour.
17 Battery won't hold a charge. Fancy chemicals and a short ritual. 6 hours.
18 Burned all the dead dinosaur juice. Stop and add some more. 30 minutes.
19 Hole in the metal-fragment-catcher. Patch it, add more liquid, pray. 1d6 hours.
20 Piston went on a space vacation. Needs a full rebuild. How far is it to town?


1d20 Brands of the Long Long Ago Dubious Features
1 Insoggle Self-Threading Caps
2 Golemkraftwagen Anti-Tampering Engine Configuration
3 Ober-Kastell Synchrotronic Gearbox
4 Chuft Electric Transix Variator
5 Adlertz Lycoming Compressors
6 Rocksfall Rulings Oulianov Propulsion Unit
7 Tuker-Simplex-Ransommmer Microhydraulic Control Lines
8 Atomic Coachwerks Inhalator Body Air-Scoops
9 Ultracta Anti-Kidnapping Heartbeat Sensor
10 Nevada Systems Nine-Axis Suspension Struts
11 Sord Swivel Bucket Seats
12 Kurdish Wheyland Gyroscopic Autoleveller
13 Revochelle Automatic Anti-Crash Foam Nozzles
14 Prangwalter K 90 Extruded Bismuth Trim
15 Sklorch Enginefabber Telepathic Key System
16 Omniversal Hydroid Corporation Extensible Omniadaptors
17 Vulcan Trained Underbody Rust Slimes
18 Silverkammerung United Mercuric Chrome Bearings
19 Capricorn Extra-Dry Clutch
20 Offroad Indolence Syndicate Hydrophobic Seatcovers