Books I Sell

2017/09/28

OSR: 1d100 Barbarian Delicacies

Barbarians get to eat a special ration to restore HP. Here are 1d100 delicacies for people from Foreign Parts, where they'll eat anything

Items on this list cost 1gp per serving and are only available in major trading cities. People from Foreign Parts buy them to remind themselves of home; everyone else think the items listed are disgusting, confusing, or a complete waste of time.


De Materia Medica, 1300s

1d100
Meat
1 Hanging meat. Salt it, flatten it, leave it to air-dry until it falls apart. Really tough, a little green around the edges.
2 Pickled eyeballs. Mostly flavorless, slightly greasy, hard to explain to visitors.
3 Dried eel.  Leathery. Smells like wet dog.
4 Weird bit.  The tendon from the left leg. The wattle. The gizzard. Something you wouldn't normally eat.
5 Blended organ sack. A stomach filled with other bits of animal and special spices, left to ferment. 
6 Rotting fish.  Has to be a very specific kind of fish. Carried in glass bottles. Smells like death.
7 Dried crickets.  Served in honey. Well attested in holy books; less appealing these days.
8 Fermented crab. PC swears it's an aphrodisiac; everyone else thinks the smell is off-putting.
9 Dried meat. Mashed with fat and berries and dried in strips. Tastes like the bottom of a gardener's boot.
10 Mashed stoat. Minty fresh for some reason.
More Meat
11 Baked rat. Except it's not a local rat. It's some kind of smug-looking foreign rat.
12 Pig grease. The leftovers from a thousand plates of fried pork. Crunchy. Kept in a jar.
13 Mashed ants. Lured out by the PC and cooked in a pot, then mixed with grain. Terrifyingly awful.
14 Whole songbird. Would be fine, but it's coated in some sort of black foul-smelling paste. 
15 Fermented bird. Store it in a sack then drink whatever drips out. Absolutely awful.
16 Dried lizards. Tiny. Eat a handful at a time. Crunchy but extremely dry. 
17 Rabbit ears. Why the ears? And why eat them with the fur still on?
18 Sea thing. Horrible little sea insect. Too many legs, bright pink, baked then preserved in red sauce. 
19 Tiny flat fish. Smoked, and then kept in a sack. Eaten whole. Pungent smell and scales everywhere.
20 Teeth. Handfuls of broken teeth from all sorts of animals. Swallowed whole.
Eggs
21 Eggs, cooked. Boiled in something unpleasant, left to dry in the sun. Tastes like battery acid.
22 Eggs, fermented. Buried in clay for a month. Sulphrous, crumbly.
23 Eggs, mashed. Mixed with some horrible root. Smells like burnt meat.
24 Eggs, candied. Put in an urn with weird roots. Crystallized, snaps like glass, tastes like hair.
25 Eggs, fish. Lots of little tiny ones, black like stones. Briny, unpleasant aftertaste. 
26 Eggs, insect. White, the size of a thumb, taste like soap.
27 Eggs, lumpy. From a bird with the hiccoughs, maybe. Bulges. Tastes like milk.
28 Eggs, snail. Pickled in brine. Thin shell, tastes like mushrooms, slight worries of snails hatching inside you.
29 Eggs, sea. Not sure if they are from a plant or a fish. Large, green, briny pouches.
30 Eggs, exotic. Blue and green with stripes. From somewhere in the mountains. Watery and sulphrous.
Strong Drink
31 Horrible herbal liquor.  Sold in tiny glass bottles, vaguely greasy taste.
32 Blessed water. Blessed by a particular saint or god. The PC can taste the difference.
33 Green infusion.  Apparently made by monks. These monks must be real sick bastards.
34 Brown liquor. Very strong, made by alchemists, dries out your throat.
35 Honey beer.  Comes in clay pots. Delicious but distinctly foreign. 
36 Fermented cloves.  More of a mash than a drink. Will make your earwax run.
37 Red liquor. Thick like treacle, tastes like fruit, but makes everyone but the PC throw up 10 mins later.
38 Bitter leaves. Make a horrible medicinal drink if soaked in boiling water. The PC eats them raw in emergencies.
39 Pale brown liquor. Made from trees, somehow. Tastes like pine needles, sap, and splinters.
40 Buttery wine. Not made from grapes, that's for sure. Strong, but kind of slimy. Starchy flavour.
Root Vegetables
41 Fat purple turnips.  Kind of tasty if cooked, but the PC insists on eating them raw.
42 Long grey carrots.  Very very spicy.
43 Rock-like vegetable. Devoured raw, leaks milk. Utterly disgusting.
44 Round green lumps. Some kind of nut? No one is sure. Incredibly bitter aftertaste.
45 Thin white roots.  Served by the handful. Faint smell of cut hay.
46 Corkscrew turnips. Worse than regular turnips in every way, from appearance to texture to cost.
47 Fat white root. Like an obsese carrot, but it tastes like sweat. When dried it starts to fall apart.
48 Horrible onion. Red, not yellow, and sharply acidic. The devil's onions.
49 Lumpy root. Shaped like a deformed person or a sick animal. Orange and fibrous, strong flavour. Chewed.
50 Hairy yellow root. From a flower. Tastes like vinegar, but it keeps away insects.
Leafy Vegetables
51 Broad green leaves.  Opens the pupils, increases the heart rate, makes the PC talk very quickly.
52 Diamond leaves.  Tingly, stains the teeth green, fairly mild flavour.
53 Small grey leaves. Ashy. Sold by apothecaries. Strong hallucinogen, PC is immune.
54 Stringy frayed leaves. Tastes like soap. PC insists it does not taste like soap.
55 Flat green leaves. Bitter, watery. Slowly rot into a dripping mass that is still, somehow, edible.
56 Fern leaves. Taste like grass, but with runny sap. Stains the teeth green.
57 Orange leaves. Dried and crispy. Crushed up and held under the tongue. Makes the PC sleepy an hour later.
58 Little round leaves. Tastes like copper and makes everyone but the PC sneeze uncontrollably. 
59 Veiny lumpy leaves. Bitter and horribly chewy. Like eating a sheet of lead. 
60 Curled-up leaves. Little balls of green, swallowed whole. Gives everyone but the PC gas.
Bread
61 Hard cakes. Why would anyone do that to bread? So dense they hurt your teeth.
62 Drip cakes. Bread thrown into boiling fat. Extremely weird.
63 Spice bread. A pinch of spice from Foreign Parts. Tastes like leather.
64 Rolled bread. Layered meat and cheese inside bread. Looks appetizing, but the spices used are very unusual.
65 Yellow bread. Made from some some grain from Foreign Parts. Gritty. 
66 Corpse bread. Like bread that's been left to die. So stale, so crunchy. Squeaks when you eat it.
67 Hole bread. The baker must be mad because it's full of air and holes! 
68 Stack bread. Tiny round loaves, hammered flat, then layered with some powdered spice. 
69 Incompetent bread. Strange flour and water cooked in a pan. Makes a round puffy thing. Goes stale immediately.
70 Round bread. Spheres of dough with meat and yellow spices inside. The spices are very strong.
Cheese
71 Blue-black cheese. Wrapped in the stomach lining of a goat. Smells awful, causes birds to fall from the sky.
72 White lumpy cheese. In a wineskin. Acidic, but fairly tasty on bread. PC insists it pairs well with fruit.
73 Grey runny cheese. Tastes like salt and sand. 
74 Yellow hard cheese. Looks fine but tastes appalling. Chalky, pungent, almost dusty.
75 Purple cheese. Made with blood or something. Veinier than usual.
76 Grey hard cheese. Thick rind, smells like a cow dying of starvation. Kept coated in wax.
77 Monk cheese. Made with milk from blessed cows and covered in the remains of holy candles. No real taste.
78 Travel cheese. Cheese with all the water squeezed out and replaced with an unpleasant thin oil.
79 Soft white cheese. Served in clay jars. Sweet, but causes gastric disasters in anyone but the PC.
80 Meat cheese. The PC insists on making it with things from the ocean and not pork or beef trimmings.
Mushrooms
81 Folded mushroom. Moist and curled like a calf's brain. Tastes like pine needles.
82 Black mushroom. Looks deadly and menacing. Tastes like buttercream.
83 Crinkly mushroom. Crunches like frost with white puffs of spores. No taste, but it gets in your nose and ears.
84 Round pink mushroom. Dilates the pupils and makes everything look fuzzy. 
85 Round grey mushroom. Deadly to dogs and cattle, but the PC swears it's fine to eat. Tastes like old beef stew.
86 Red mushroom. White spots, perfectly round, dries into little hard lumps. Dusty and acidic.
87 Tall white mushroom. Like little spears. Acidic taste. Smell like burnt bones.
88 Brown plate mushroom. Grows on the side of trees, apparently. Like eating a soggy plank of wood.
89 Puffball mushroom. Round white balls with fine brown dust inside. Dust chokes the lungs and tastes like ash.
90 Eye mushroom. Has wet black spots like eyes buried in soft white flesh. Tastes like peat.
Assorted
91 Brownish beans.  Taste like sawdust and bleach.
92 White beans. Like pebbles, but chewy. After a few minutes your tongue goes numb.
93 Red beans. Taste metallic, deeply unpleasant. Apparently very good for you in large quantities.
94 Horrible sea thing. Orange. Looks like a deflated penis. Probably tastes like a deflated penis.
95 Pointy red fruit. Full of seeds. Burns like fire, makes your eyes water, and gets all over your hands.
96 Oval green fruit. Bitter, salty, and chewy. Leaks oil.
97 Snake venom.  Makes the tongue go black. Not enough to kill anyone if ingested.
98 Pink salt. From the mountains. Apparently heals you and makes your hair grow. Just tastes like salt.
99 Cat milk. Seriously, who milks a cat? A thin crusty rind of milk.
100 Magic powder. Ground up wizard skulls or something. Makes your hair stick striaight out and your eyes bulge.

2017/09/27

Art of Planes and Theories

Maybe the reason your theory of choice isn't catching on isn't because of government interference or chemtrails or, you know, facts.

Maybe it's because your art is shit.

I'd be much more inclined to believe that the Bush Owns 7-11 or Reptoids Ate Your Grandma if you stopped using art like this:


And started using art like this.
Pl.7 (System According to the Ancient Scriptures) from a Muggletonian treatise
It's beautiful!

(Pro tip: make the competing system less beautiful or I'll believe that too.)

More seriously, if any of you are doing art of planes or planetary systems, steal from Issac Frost.


Further Reading:
The Muggletonians were a small and quietly tragic Christian apocalyptic cult. You've seen their modern spinoffs, but as far as I can tell, none of the modern ones had such beautiful diagrams. If you want to read much, much more, the paper "Isaac Frost's "Two Systems of Astronomy" (1846): Plebeian Resistance and Scriptural Astronomy" is very good.


Or steal from Orlando Ferguson.

Map of the Square and Stationary Earth

2017/09/24

OSR: Class: Book Exorcist



Retrieved from here. Original source unknown.


Base Exorcist class.


Starting Equipment: holy symbol
Starting Skill: Law

The Church has chosen you to fight Possessive Undead. You are most effective against spirits that inhabit the bodies of the living. You might be a priest who stumbled into the practice of exorcism by necessity or fate. You might be a holy healer, outside the normal doctrines of the Church. You might be a monk exiled for some grievous sin, seeking redemption, or a callous and grizzled combatant in a hidden spiritual war.

To most people, demons and evil spirits are the same - everyone knows that demons sent by the Adversary plague the living. The truth is more complicated. Demons were created by the Authority to tempt the living from the path of righteousness. They have no power over the devout and cannot harm the innocent. Demons aren't even malicious. They are probably more religious and open-minded than most people, even if their profession makes them deeply cynical. However, as natural rule-breakers and order-corrupters, some demons seek to escape their role and live a different life. These rogue demons are the ones the Church hunts. Proper orthodox demons who do their task are left alone, but they aren't the ones possessing the faithful.

Similarly, the souls of wicked men and women seek to avoid judgement and hide inside the bodies of the living. An excommunicated soul knows there is only one fate waiting for it. If it can sneak into the body of a living person and either meld or overpower their soul, it can live again, free of consequence and worry. Most cases of possession are not demons at all, but corrupt ancestors and old ghosts.

Finally, some diseases are caused by evil spirits of one form or another, and can be exorcised. Diseases caused by living creatures, poison, foul air, inheritance, or self-inflicted spiritual harm cannot be cured by an exorcist. 
Desian


Templates

A: Rite of Exorcism, Literacy, Keen Eye
B: Doctrinal Skill, Soul of Iron
C: Brandish
D: Doctrinal Mastery

Rite of Exorcism
Through ritual and prayer, you invoke the Authority's power and restore the natural order of Creation. Make an opposed Charisma check against a spirit, demon, or disease inside a living creature. You must be within 10' of the creature to make this check, and the creature must be able to see and hear you. If you pass, the spirit is banished. If you fail, you take the creature's [HD] in damage. You can attempt this test once per hour. Multiple failed attempts may lead you to doubt your own faith or abilities (see below).
Bonuses

+1 per Book Exorcist template. Up to two Book Exorcists can work on the same exorcism, adding their templates together. If a regular priest of the Authority or a very devout lay person assists instead, they add +1.

+1 per hour spent in uninterrupted ritual before attempting the test.  
Penalties
-1 per HD of the spirit

-2 if the spirit has possessed the target for more than a day, a week, a month, or a year (so a year = -8)
-some number, determined by the GM, if you doubt your own faith, abilities, or cause, or if you are in poor standing with the Church.

The minimum requirements to begin an exorcism are a holy book and a holy symbol. The spirit may attempt to interrupt the ritual several times, requiring Saves vs Fear, Saves to Dodge, etc. Restraints may be required.

Literacy
You can read and write. A surprising number of people could do both in the middle ages, but you can really write. Your letters can allow for Charisma tests at a distance. You can roll to see the intentions of an author, the delicate themes of a poem, and the inconsistencies in a complex text. To most people this is a kind of sorcery.

Keen Eye
You know the signs of possession well, and can determine if a creature is afflicted or not by a few simple tests. You can also diagnose diseases (as the Medicine skill) but not assign treatments or offer advice. You can separate the mad, the attention-seeking, and the injured from the truly possessed. 

Doctrinal Skill
You are an unparalleled expert on the holy books. You can find a passage or an appropriate phrase instantly. If you choose to challenge a point of canon law, you can always find relevant precedents, counterexamples, and devastating flaws. For example, you could challenge the appointment of a bishop, the fitness of a village priest, the validity of a marriage, or the interpretation of a command from the Archpriest. Listeners do not have to believe you, but they will admit there is a possibility you are correct, and either allow a court case or have you silenced by force.

Soul of Iron
You can spend 1 HP to gain a +2 bonus to any Save against Fear, a direct demonic attack (such as hellfire or soul drain),  or any soul-altering effect (such as a curse, a compulsion, or any other personal enchantment). You can spend as many HP as you would like, including inflicting Lethal Damage on yourself. Wounds you take appear as stigmata or premature aging. You only gain this ability after performing a successful exorcism. Additionally, if you ever roll a natural 1 (critical success) on a Save vs Fear, all allies who can see you automatically pass their Saves vs Fear (or rally if already fleeing).

Brandish
If you suddenly raise your holy symbol, you can cause any undead (not just possessive undead), spirit, or spell to turn aside. They must Save to approach within 10' of you. Creatures get a bonus to Save equal to their HD. Spells get a bonus equal to the number of magic dice used to cast them. Some spells might be deflected and seek a new target. Very minor undead creatures or spirits (1 HD or less) must Save or be banished.

As long as you keep the symbol raised (Save vs. Constitution every hour as your arm gets tired), the creatures or spells first affected by this spell cannot approach you. If you attempt to use this ability while in doubt over your own faith or abilities, nothing happens.

Doctrinal Mastery
Your expertise has reached nearly supernatural levels. Any issue of canon, secular, or natural law you challenge is likely to be decided in your favour, no matter what the case is, although there may still be arguments (or attempts on your life). You can also argue directly against ancient courts, Angels, Demons, the Adversary, or the Authority and, often, win. If an angel turns up to kill your friends, you can probably convince it to go away.


Le Pater, Alphonse Mucha

Mechanical Notes on the Book Exorcist

Again, this is a highly specialized class. You're more likely to encounter embodied undead than possessive undead in any given game, so without the GM customizing certain portions of a pre-existing module, this class may not seem that useful at first. However, the Exorcism ability also works on curses and some diseases. Both turn up on a regular basis. The Brandish ability works on a wide variety of targets. Deflecting spells is not to be underestimated.

But the major secondary feature of this class comes from the Law skill, the Religion skill, and the Doctrinal and Literacy abilities. This class is effectively a ghost-fighting lawyer. The descriptions of just what a PC can do to dispute "canon, secular, or natural law" are left vague. I want to see what kind of nonsense people get up to with this ability. Paladins might be able to command the sea to part, but a Book Exorcist could convince it to divide as a point of order.

Also, if you choose to be an ordained member of the First Estate, you can hear confessions, officiate at weddings, sell indulgences, and generally interfere with the workings of all three Estates.

2017/09/23

OSR: Tomb of the Serpent Kings, Session 10

Continued from here. In which the party buys more things, fights goblins, flees from goblins,, encounters a very strange lion (but no witches or wardrobes), and makes poor decisions.

There are also illustrations.

OSR: Class: Bell Exorcists

Ideas stolen wholesale from here.

wallsfell.tumblr.com
Base Exorcist class.

Starting Equipment:
The Seven Bells.


The Church has chosen you to fight the Embodied Undead. You are most effective against spirits that inhabit dead bodies. Graveyards and catacombs are your battleground; gravedust is your incense and your mark. You carry the most powerful tools the Church can forge against such enemies, but every necromancer in Creation also desires your weapons.

You may belong to a small monastic order, or you may be a specially trained priest, or you may be something else entirely. Exorcists are both rare and mysterious. Some people will mistake you for a heretic, a charlatan, or a necromancer. Speak little of your past and conceal your intentions and abilities.


Templates
A: Bell Casting, 4 Bell Dice
B: Undead Sense, 4 Bell Dice
C: Name Them, 3 Bell Dice
D: Dual Bells, 2 Bell Dice


Bell Casting

You start with 4 Bell Dice (BD), but lose them as you gain templates in this Role. Bell Dice are d6s.  Whenever you start using a Bell, or change a Bell's effects, roll all your Bell Dice, plus any extra dice specified by the Bell. Bell Dice always return to your pool. If you roll doubles, roll on the Mishaps table. If you roll triples, roll on the Disasters table.

You can use your Bells any number of times per day. You can use one Bell per combat round. If anyone untrained in the bells uses them, they automatically roll on the Disasters table, and the bell's usual effects do not occur. The entire set of bells is worth 1,000gp if sold in a major city, but the authorities of the Church will arrive within 24hrs and start burning and torturing anyone involved. If you die while carrying the bells, your companions should bring them to a pious bishop or abbot. You are encouraged to inform your most trustworthy companions of this requirement.

The range listed on the bells assumed clear air above ground. The range can be reduced if muffled by walls or other sounds. Bells affect the closest targets first, but subsequent uses will affect targets further out. They do not affect the Exorcist. You must stop ringing a Bell for 1 round to change effects, or to change Bells. If an effect lists a Save, targets must Save each round the bell is rung.

Ancient undead who have faced Exorcists before may gain a bonus to their Saves, at the GM's discretion.

Undead Sense
You can sense embodied undead up to 50' away, even in total darkness. You can sense the approximate number and strength, either as a smell, a sense of pressure, or with an inexplicable Second Sight.

Name Them
You automatically know the name of any undead of 7 HD or more. If they are truly ancient and notorious, or if they have returned more than once, you may know their deeds, disposition, and weaknesses. The name may not be their true name; it's the name the Church knows them by. At the at the GM's discretion, you can test Religion to learn details.

Dual Bells
You can use two Bells per round. Roll once, using the largest bell's dice pool + 1 BD. You also lose 1 HP each round you use two Bells.



The Seven Bells

These will be printed on the back of an Exorcist character sheet or given as a handout. Each bell can make a range of musical notes, unlike a conventional handbell.

Rana, the Sleeper
The size of a thimble. High, but soft, like a lullaby's first notes.
Adds: -1 BD
Range: 50'
Effect: Choose one.
a) A number of embodied undead up, with total HD = [number of Bell Exorcist templates] x4 or less, must Save or become docile and passive for 1d10 minutes. They will not attack unless attacked. After 10 minutes of ringing Rana, any embodied undead of 1 HD or less are banished.
b) A number of living creatures, with total HD = [number of Bell Exorcist templates] x4 or less, must Save or fall asleep. They sleep for 8 hours, and cannot be awoken by anything less vigorous than a slap.

Mosrael, the Waker
The size of a strawberry. Harsh, tinny, flat.
Adds: 0 BD
Range: 50'
Effect: Choose one.
a) Cancel the effect of Rana.
b) Wake up all sleeping living creatures.
c) Draw the soul of someone who recently died back to their body. The soul is allowed a Save, with a +1 bonus for each day since death, and a penalty (GM's discretion) if  the death was particularly gruesome, tragic, or unexpected. The corpse cannot move (without the use of Kibeth) or speak (without the use of Dyrim). It is essentially a paralyzed zombie, capable of moving its eyes but nothing else. This effect persists after Mosrael stops ringing.

Kibeth, the Walker
The size of a child's teacup. Many sounds. A merry bell.
Adds: +1 BD
Range: 100'
Effect: Choose one.
a) A number of embodied undead, with total HD = [number of Bell Exorcist templates] x4 or less, must Save or move 10' in a direction you chose. You can move them into danger, over cliffs, etc. If you raised them using Mosrael, you can cause them to crudely attack living creatures they encounter.
b) A number of number of living creatures, with total HD = [number of Bell Exorcist templates] x4 or less, must Save or move 10' in a direction you chose. If they would move into danger, they get a new Save to resist the effect and stop just before.
c) All living creatures with 2 HD or less must Save or move by skipping, hopping, waltzing, etc. They can otherwise move freely, but the unnatural dance imposes a -2 penalty to their Defense.
d) All embodied undead gain the ability to walk and move their limbs. This effect persists after Kibeth stops ringing.

Dyrim, the Speaker
The size of a pear. Clear, sharp ring.
Range: 200'
Adds: 0 BD
Effects: Choose one.
a) All sound is muffled within the range of the bell, except for the Dyrim's sound. Speech must be shouted beyond 10' and cannot be heard beyond 20'.
b) A number of noise-making targets = [number of Bell Exorcist templates] are silenced and muted. Unwilling creatures or very noisy targets (bell towers, volcanoes) get a Save. If the target is an embodied undead, it is permanently rendered mute.
c) Target embodied undead gains the ability to speak. It does not have to answer your questions, but it may volunteer information, scream, rant, or require the aid of Saraneth to bind. You can typically get 1d6 coherent answers out of any given corpse of a 1 or 2 HD creature. This effect persists after Dyrim stops ringing.

Belager, the Thinker
The size of a clenched fist. A rattling, leaden bell. The sound is selective, rising and falling differently for each listener.
Range: 200'
Adds: +1 BD
Effects: Choose one.
a) All living creatures gain +2 Intelligence, but their thoughts will be morbid and clouded with the cold clarity of death. No romantic poetry, no dangerous schemes, but decent accounting, math, and translation.
b) A number of living creatures, with total HD = [number of Bell Exorcist templates] x4, must Save or forget the details of the last 5 minutes. If you Save vs Intelligence, you can select targets for this spell (instead of selecting the closest targets). Each round you ring Belager, you can chose to affect more targets or erase another 5 minutes from targets who failed their previous Save.
c) Save vs Intelligence and choose a single target. If you fail, lose 1 HP and take 2 temporary Intelligence damage. If you pass, the target must Save or forget a specific thing or event of your choosing. This can be broad (a child, a crime) or specific (a single poem, a person's face), a but not universal (gravity, the need for food). Very intelligent creatures can Save again if confronted with evidence that they have forgotten something to remember it again.
d) Save vs Intelligence and choose a single corporeal undead target. If you fail, lose 1 HP and take 2 temporary Intelligence damage. If you pass, the undead regains full memories of its life, along with its former Wisdom, Intelligence, and Charisma (for the purposes of Saves, etc.).  It may despair at its new condition, it may seek power, it may act as a general or a necromancer. Raise nothing you cannot put down.

Saraneth, the Binder
The size of a mug. A deep, low bell. Funereal.
Range: 300'
Adds: +2 BD
Effects: choose one.
a) When you begin ringing Saraneth, chose an amount of HP. Your maximum HP is reduced by that amount. A number of embodied undead (of any HD) equal to that number are bound to your will, and will obey your commands as loyal servants. Powerful undead may Save to negate. This effect persists after you stop ringing Saraneth. If an embodied undead bound in this way is banished or destroyed, you gain the point of maximum HP back (but do not heal any HP).
b) Inflict [number of Bell Exorcist templates]xd6 damage to embodied undead, starting with the closest undead. You must banish the closest embodied undead before assigning any damage to the next undead.
c) A number of living creatures, with total HD = [number of Bell Exorcist templates] x4, must Save or obey the single-word command you speak when you stop ringing Saraneth. The command must be an immediate and feasible action ("run" and "drop" work, "explode" and "die" probably won't).
d) A single target must Save or answer your questions, telling only the truth, for [number of Bell Exorcist templates] questions after you stop ringing Saraneth.

Astarael, the Bringer of Sorrows
The size of a skull. So deep it can only be felt, not heard. A bass thump with a cold edge.
Range: 300'
Adds: N/A. Do not roll if you use this bell. The effect automatically occurs.
Effect:
All undead, embodied or not, are banished. All living creatures capable of blocking their ears must Save or Die. The Exorcist automatically dies (no Save, no tricks). All spells are cancelled, all enchantments broken, all magical effects ended. Creatures that cannot hear gain a +10 bonus to their Save but must still Save. This bell is rarely, if ever, used. It is the final desperate measure, the one tool an Exorcist is trained to use but hopes never to wield.
Justin Cherry
Mishaps (on a double)
1. Harsh clap. The Exorcist loses 1 HP.
2. Sour ring. All Saves against the Bell's effect are made with a +4 bonus.
3. Slip. The Exorcist chooses another effect of the same bell. That effect occurs instead. The Exorcist selects the target or targets.
4. Slide. The GM chooses another effect of the same bell. That effect occurs instead. The GM selects the target or targets.
5. Upswing. The Exorcist loses control of the bell for a split second and must Save vs Wisdom or stop ringing.
6. Clatter. The bell's effects do not occur this round. The Exorcists loses 1 HP.

Disasters (on a triple)
1. Freedom. The Exorcist loses control of the bell. The GM may choose to have a secondary effect of the bell occur, or alter the bell's current effect in an unpleasant way (to target allies instead of enemies, or empower enemies, or raise something the Exorcist intended to banish). The Exorcist stops ringing.
2. Sympathy. A randomly determined (1d6, for bells 1-6) bell rings as well, with a randomly determined effect. Could be the same bell with the same effect. The Exorcist loses 1 HP.
3. Dissonance. The Exorist takes [number of Bell Exorcist templates]xd6 damage and must Save or stop ringing.
4. Overpowering. The Exorcist cannot stop ringing. The bell's effect becomes more serious and disconcerting. After 1d6 rounds, they can Save each round to stop ringing with a +1 bonus per HP they choose to spend.
5. Call to the Dead. All undead, embodied or not, within 1 mile are aware of the Exorcist, their position, and their goals. The Exorcist also loses 1 HP.
6. Rejected. The bell refuses to obey the Exorcist and remains silent. The Exorcist cannot use this bell for 1d6 days. After that, they must Save. If they fail, they can never use the bell again. Rituals of atonement, soul-searching, or desperation can provide a very significant bonus to this Save. The Exorcist also loses 1 HP.

Mechanical Notes on the Bell Exorcist

Rather than gaining access slowly, like a Wizard, the Bell Exorcist gets all the abilities right from day one. They also get all the corresponding dangers. The goal is to use the bells very, very sparingly until you get all 4 templates up to speed, and even then, to rarely use the most powerful bells. The risks of a catastrophic failure is simply too high.

This class is also complicated. To use it effectively, a player needs to be inventive with the use of their abilities, but fully aware of the potential dangers. It's no more complicated than a wizard with 6 detailed spells, but the interaction between them is the main driver of interesting play.

Outside of the Bells, this class relies on the Religion skill and their Undead Sense to act as a scout, tracker, and knowledge source for the party. The bells are a huge and diverse toolkit; giving this class more tools seems excessive. You might have noticed that there's no cool background table. I want to leave Exorcists and their place in society in the hands of the player. Rather than defining tropes and categories, I want the player to tell me how they see Exorcists, or this particular Exorcist, in the setting.

Multiclassing Monk/Bell Exorcist could work well; this class is potentially quite powerful, but also quite unstable with just one Bell Exorcist template. I'm not sure how a multiclassed Bell Exorcist/Necromancer would look yet because I haven't finished my version of the Necromancer wizard school. I suspect it would be... worrying.